Chapter Text
It's happens in early September.
It's chilly outside but still pleasant.
Mark and Jackson are distant. Again.
Jaebum and Youngjae are still dancing around each other, still not sure what they want.
Everything's a mess, really.
And it'll only get worse after that one night in early September, after Mark melts into Jaebum’s body heat, both of them panting and exhausted from their climax.
It's easier if you start at the beginning.
It's nothing too complex or dramatic, it's just that it's Mark's birthday and the only person who seems to have forgotten is Jackson.
They've only been dating a year but it still hurts. Mark feels like a fool waiting for a call or a visit from his own fucking boyfriend.
Maybe Jackson just doesn't care, who knows.
He sends gracious thank you messages to all his family and his precious dongsaengs who send lovely birthday wishes. Jinyoung and Yugyeom even manage to stop by his dorm to give him kisses and a birthday cake that's a bit too sweet but still delicious. He hugs them tight when they leave, feeling even sadder than he did before they came.
Because the one person he needs isn't here for him.
The day passes by in the blink of an eye and once the clock signals the end of his stupid birthday he makes his way to one of the nearby liquor stores and gets a bottle of fireball, intending to finish it all, hoping that will help get rid of the growing knot inside him.
He's just made it back inside when his phone dings. His heart leaps, thinking that it's Jackson but it's just Jaebum.
Mark tosses the phone on the counter, more interested in opening the bottle when the phone rings, Drake blasting in his too quiet dorm room, BamBam must be out studying again.
Mark remembers he was worried about finishing some literature paper. He had offered to help the Thai boy out but BamBam had laughed and said that he didn't want Mark working on his birthday.
The phone stops ringing and he finally peels the seal off the glass, taking a giant, burning swig when it rings again.
It must be important.
“What, Jaebeommie?”
“Happy birthday,” he says softly.
“You already texted me that,” Mark smiles a bit at his words, a bit of the anger and pain he felt dissipating. “What did you really call for?”
“What if that's all I wanted to say?” Jaebum says playfully.
“Yah” Mark chuckles, “Just spit it out before I hang up. ”
“I think I upset Youngjae,” he sighs “I need to vent or something.”
Mark isn't surprised.
Jaebum isn't good with feelings and words. It doesn't take much for him to upset the younger, softer boy, only having to make one offhanded comment before the two of them end up ignoring each other for a while. It's almost become standard procedure since the two of them have realized that they might be more than friends. They flirt, they fight, they apologize and back to square one.
“I have a bottle of fireball if you want to come over,” Make finally says. “We can wallow in our misery together.“
Jaebum hums over the line, the sound reverberating in Mark's ear.
“Yeah,” Jaebum says. “I'll be over in ten.”
“He's probably busy,” Jaebum slurs, tone thoughtful. “Or maybe he's planning a surprise for you.”
“Usually the surprise happens on the person's birthday, Beommie.”
Mark sighs, subtly pushing into Jaebum's side, the younger notices and wraps his arm around his hyung's shoulders.
It feels nice being tucked up on the tiny little couch, watching some random reality show with one of his oldest friends.
They watch one lady berate another one for talking shit behind her back for a while before Mark speaks again.
“I think he just forgot.”
It hurts to think that Jackson actually forgot his birthday but he'll get over it eventually, the fireball is helping already, diluting his emotions into a hazy nothingness.
“I'm sorry,” Jaebum says after a beat. He has no reason to be sorry, not really, but Mark appreciates the sentiment none the less.
“I'm sorry, too,” Mark hums. At Jaebum’s confused glance he continues, “About Youngjae. If you just explain what you meant he'll forgive you.”
“I feel like I never say the right thing.” He murmurs. “I'm always hurting his feelings. I don’t think I’m meant for relationships.”
“You guys are just getting to know each other,” He turns to Jaebum, finding the younger boy already looking at him, eyes glossy and intense. “It'll get easier, I promise.”
Jaebum doesn't say anything and Mark licks his lips nervously, the alcohol suddenly making him feel too warm, especially in Jaebum’s arms.
“You're staring,” Mark giggles, the sound loud in the living room. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes open again?”
Mark sighs tiredly, ready to call it a night when Jaebum quickly leans in, placing a chaste kiss against his lips.
Mark freezes, heart racing and mind spinning.
“Why?” he asks confused once Jaebum pulls back. “We- ”
“I just want one night,” Jaebum whispers, breath smelling sharp with alcohol. “Just one night where I don't have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing.”
He goes to kiss Mark again and for some reason, Mark let's him, sighing when Jaebum slips his tongue into his mouth.
He tastes of cinnamon and it feels good to press into his warmth but a small voice in the back of his head tells him to stop. Mark pulls away reluctantly, turning to hide the heat on his cheeks.
“No… we're drunk,” Mark states. “Jaebeom, I'm with Jackson. You have Youngjae.”
“But neither of them are here,” Jaebum says, grabbing Mark’s face between his hands and forcing them to meet eyes. He's so warm and Mark would be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling, the feeling of Jaebum. “It's just us right now. It's always us.”
He doesn't know if it's the alcohol in his veins or the hurt in his heart or maybe Jaebum's words, but Mark moves to straddle his lap, diving back in to kiss him. Jaebum’s hands grip his hips firmly and he bites Mark's lip with a small groan.
Just one night, Jaebum had said.
Just something simple, something easy for both of them to lose themselves in.
If only it were that simple.
[ end one ]