Chapter Text
After that meeting of Radiants, Kaladin wasn't looking forward to being stuck talking with Jasnah again, especially being grilled one on one. He'd agreed to it, though. He stood up straight, sucked in his objections, and marched to their arranged location.
This second session, the room Kaladin met Jasnah in was smaller and had just one table. There was no one else there. Great. Now I'm not just trapped with her, I'm trapped alone with her. "Aren't you going to insist on a chaperone?"
"You have bonded an honorspren. I'm confident you won't do anything dishonorable." She leaned back from the table. "You seemed uncomfortable with other people overhearing our conversation, so I thought you might speak more freely if we had some privacy. I can see that your experience of becoming a Surgebinder is tied in with a lot of...intense experiences and emotions."
He grunted and took a seat.
She looked at him for several moments, saying nothing. Her bright violet eyes seemed to see too deeply into him. "I apologize for my remarks to you during our last meeting. I don't wish to create hostility among our few Radiants."
He shifted in his chair. "It's just... I've already had a problem trying to justify the means with what seemed like good ends, even though it felt wrong. I'm not doing that again."
"Problem?"
Kaladin crossed his arms, trying to hide his spike of panic. He couldn't tell her the full circumstances. Maybe he could be vague and then change the subject? "Nearly broke my bond. I guess different kinds of spren have different standards? Or maybe it doesn't feel wrong to you the way it did to me?"
She took a deep breath and looked at the table. "For what it's worth, you may...have a stronger moral foundation for your position than I did."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"I had a conversation with my spren about it and he said that while he agreed with my logic, he admitted your recommendation lined up better with the First Ideal."
"So it's not a problem if your logic goes against the Ideals you've sworn?"
Jasnah laced her fingers on the table. "Ivory is very much in favor of logic, so we tend not to have many differences of opinion."
Logic that involves murdering innocents. Kaladin pressed his lips together. "Well, just know I'm going to push back on any order that feels like it endangers Syl."
She nodded. "That's only sensible given the value of Windrunners, especially since you are the only one so far."
Of course. Just because of the value to you of having someone who can fly. He grunted.
She sighed, tapping a finger. "Given that your spren is tied to this sort of morality on a deep level, I'm inclined to say that's important, and my utilitarian approach may not be wise after all. I've learned we should not ignore the comments our spren make, much less their fundamental natures."
Kaladin stood up and paced, which was unsatisfying in the small room. "Does it feel all right to you, to think that way? Killing a herald just in case that might help?"
Her discerning eyes followed him, though her look was softer now. "No, it doesn't feel right, but as I said, I try to be guided by logic."
"What if logic leads you to the wrong actions?"
"Then some of the inputs to my logic were incorrect."
He stopped and met her eyes. "Maybe that's what your feelings are trying to tell you."
"How can you distinguish between shirking something necessary just because you don't like it and avoiding something that's genuinely wrong?"
Kaladin continued pacing the room, about-facing several more times before answering. So much for keeping the conversation from going this direction. "My father told me many times that sometimes you have to amputate a limb to save the patient, and for a while, I tried to apply that reasoning to removing human beings for the greater good, and it's not right. It's not the same. Sacrificing weak soldiers to save strong ones, sending bridgemen out as bait, killing someone because you think their death would be for the better--" Especially if you'd sworn to protect them. Storms, Elhokar is her brother. He shook his head. "I don't really know how to explain. People can't be treated like limbs, like things."
She nodded. "Schools of philosophy differ on such matters, but I may be too quick to treat people as disposable. I believe your judgment here is sound, and I respect that." She sighed. "That doesn't address the general case, but I suppose we shouldn't spend the entire evening debating morality. Can you be satisfied that I'm not a monster?"
He gave the question genuine consideration. "Yes."
She picked her reed up and her voice turned businesslike. "My next priority is documenting your Lashings. Starting from your initial discovery of them, if you please."
At first he just wanted to get it over with quickly, but she prodded, gently but persistently, for more detail.
He told her about how he'd first figured out how to change the direction of gravity and his initial practice in the chasms and flying over the Shattered Plains. He couldn't help but smile at the memory, and he even caught Jasnah smiling as he told her of his joy at flying.
*
Jasnah had, of course, given some thought to the practical applications of having someone who could fly, but she hadn't considered what it would be like to actually do it, and seeing the otherwise stormy captain smile in wonder piqued her interest.
She leaned forward. "Could you demonstrate the Lashings on me?"
He stood, drew in Stormlight, and gestured for her to stand as well. He put a hand on her shoulder and she only narrowly repressed a noise as she suddenly felt like she was upside down, her stomach lurching into her chest. A moment later, she was weightless, floating two feet off the ground, Kaladin next to her.
"Not much of a demo in a room with a low ceiling, but at least you get the idea." He smiled at her.
He'd said it was like falling the wrong way, and it was, but falling with no wind, weightless. Objects physically in contact with a Surgebinder manipulating Gravitation appear to get Lashed as well, though since it doesn't include things like floors or furniture, it's likely limited to things the Surgebinder considers an extension of themselves or, when Lashing something or someone else, a part of the target. Her stomach was still in her chest, and her hands clenched into fists.
She stared at him. His hair and clothing floated around him as if he were underwater, Light rising off his skin in wisps. The effect was striking.
She swallowed. "How much Stormlight does it use?"
He told her of one of his squires' attempts to measure his abilities and his limited success. "I got from the Shattered Plains well into Aladar's princedom on a pouch stuffed full of broams, and that took about half a day."
"What were you doing in Aladar's princedom?"
"Failing to make it all the way to my home town before the Everstorm hit."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?"
"For some reason I thought you were from Kholinar."
He laughed. "Not even close. Small farm town."
"In Aladar's land?"
He shook his head. "Sadeas. I had to walk the last 90 miles."
"What town?"
"I doubt you'd have heard of it."
"I'm quite familiar with the kingdom, at least by map. Try me."
"Hearthstone."
She nodded. She had heard of it. That silversmith had gotten sent there after her brother's foolish involvement in his affairs. "And how had it fared?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. Why am I asking? That couldn't possibly be relevant. And yet she still wanted to know.
"Turned out my family is all right and most of the town survived, despite my being late." He touched her shoulder, and she sunk slowly back to the ground. She suppressed her disappointment.
"Running out of Stormlight while still in the air has been an issue," he said.
*
Kaladin sat back down and Jasnah did likewise. She nodded, then got a distant look in her eyes. "I suppose I can't blame you for trying to reach your family given that I spent years investigating my father's assassination."
"You were there when it happened, weren't you?" he asked softly.
She nodded.
"I'm sorry."
She straightened and her voice grew firm. "It's been six years. I've dealt with my feelings. And besides, we have bigger problems to worry about now."
"Time only does so much. It's hard to let go of family."
He could see the question in her eyes, so before she said anything, he asked the first thing that popped into his mind. "You grew up in Kholinar, right?"
That led to a surprisingly long digression about her early life there, and for a while, he let himself be the country boy who wanted to see the world and just listened to her talk about her life as royalty in the capitol, occasionally prompting her for more. It was an interesting glimpse into the woman behind the reputation. Assuming her accounts were at all accurate, she'd been forceful and determined ever since she was a child, and perhaps more remarkably, that came across without the arrogance he expected of a lighteyes, much less a king's daughter.
When she finally drew to a stop, she looked at him again, curiosity plain in her eyes, but she didn't ask anything more of him. She seemed to sense the sessions were emotionally taxing and stopped before he got too raw. She stood and gathered her papers. "I apologize if I've kept you too late. It must be near third moonrise by now."
He met her eyes. "It's all right."