Chapter Text
“It’s normal, Tony.”
“How is this normal, Bruce? He freaking collapsed at school! From a fever!”
“I told you some side-effects might hit him a bit harder since we combined so many serums into each shot. Fatigue, dizziness and the fever probably all came together to cause this collapse.”
“Well, fix it!”
“We are Tony, calm down. He’s not in any danger right now” Bruce said, but the irritation in his voice was almost as clear as the one in Tony’s. Of course he felt somehow responsible that the vaccine he had created with Cho and the team had caused such a severe reaction and it frustrated him. “We’ve got him on fluids, we’re monitoring him closely. We just administered the first dose of fever reducers, give it some time to take effect.”
“I don’t like this. Not one bit, Bruce.” Tony said warningly.
“I’m sure you don’t.” Bruce’s clipped answer made it clear that there was nothing left to say. Tony tried to glare in return but neither him nor Bruce were fooled, knowing perfectly well that both of their anger was a cover-up for their worry more than anything else.
In the early hours of the evening, his nerves having calmed down tremendously ever since Peter’s fever started going down, Tony is suddenly faced with two chocolate-brown eyes staring at him from a certain MedBay bed.
“Hey, you back with us Spider-Baby?” he says softly but Peter’s brain seems to have been going on autopilot, as he doesn’t seem to be registering that his eyes are open and he’s looking at Mr. Stark’s face.
“Kid?” Tony’s brows furrow and he waves a hand in front of Peter’s face. He’s about to turn around and yell for Bruce to get his butt in here right this second because Peter seems to be suffering from locked-in syndrome or whatever creepy shit like that when Peter thankfully snaps out of whatever he was in and starts blinking rapidly. Thank God, he thought.
Peter makes a face at him. “ ‘m not.”
“What?” the panic Tony just successfully stuffed back into a deep, dark corner of his mind creeps up again at Peter’s incoherence and seeing how the boy struggled with trying to get his mouth to obey.
“ ’m not-.. Spider-Baby”
Tony releases a breath of relief. “Right, that”, he laughs. Damn this kid and the emotional rollercoaster he managed to send Tony on within the last 10 seconds.
Peter blinks some more, eventually taking in his surroundings. He groans when he realizes he’s in the MedBay. God, just set up a room for him in here permanently, why don’t they?
“Yeah…” Tony reads and understands his proteges face right away “MedBay, buddy. How are you feeling?”
“Dunno. Tired.”
“Yeah, I bet you are. Fever took a lot outta you. Bruce said you’re on the mend though. Your fever broke a few hours ago with the help of those super-powered fever reducers. You’ll be fine by tomorrow.” He studies Peter’s face for a few seconds before he continues. “Do you remember what happened?”
Peter nods. “Didn’t feel so good, got dizzy.”
“Conked out in the middle of your test there.”
Peter’s eyes grow wide at Tony’s words “Aw shit! The test! My test! Mr. Stark, I gotta-“
“Whoa, whoa, calm down kiddo. I spoke to your teacher. You can retake it- nuh uh uh” he raises his finger and shushes Peter when the latter tries to interrupt “and she promised me it won’t be impossible to get an A on. I think the reason why Mrs. Foster’s make-up tests are so hard is because she’s tired of pubescent teenagers feigning sick to get more time to study, eventually resulting in more work for her having to create a whole new test. You, my friend, are definitely not one of those pains in her neck. Actually, you’re quite the opposite, you might possibly be the only student feigning healthy to take a test. You are definitely in her good books now. Or maybe I am. “ he smirks mischievously.
“Oh my God, Mr. Stark, please do not tell me you flirted with my English teacher!”
“What? I would never!” Tony’s overdramatic show of offendedness does nothing to calm Peter’s nerves as he imagines the embarrassment of having his- well, basically his “dad”, and oh my God, did I just call him dad in my thoughts? flirt with one of his teachers “Okay so maybe I did flirt with your English teacher a bit, over the phone, mind you, when I called you in sick again for tomorrow, but Pepper was actually sitting right next to me always typing out stuff on her StarkPad and shoving it in my face to say to Mrs. Foster. So it was basically Pepper flirting with her, I was just her exceptionally good-looking mouthpiece.”
And for the first time in what felt like ages but was really just one regular Friday, Tony is glad to see Peter’s cheeks glow fiery-red because finally, it’s not due to a fever.
Two weeks later the trio is sitting in MedBay once more. Peter feels like his life has turned into some sort-of really bad “Groundhog Day”-remake. And apparently in this shitty remake he is Bill Murray who just can’t seem to break out of a seemingly never ending cycle of vaccination appointments with Dr. Banner and an annoyingly chipper Mr. Stark.
“Third time’s a charm, huh kid?”
Peter only narrows his eyes at Tony, absolutely not in the mood for their typical banter. Not after the ordeal of the last shot’s side-effects. He can’t believe this is only the third of five shots. Gosh this is the most annoying thing that ever came with being Spiderman.
“So,” Bruce says once he motioned Peter to press the cotton pad to the new injection site “as always, I need you to-“
“Yeah, yeah 15 minutes and all that jazz. We got it, Bruce” Tony interrupts him before turning to Peter.
Bruce just rolls his eyes and turns away, busying himself with the typical clean-up and updating Peter’s vaccination data on the MedBay’s computer.
“So what are we thinking today, Pete? Thai? Korean? Columbian? Oh, actually, Pepper was reading about this awesome new African place, apparently they make these really good-“
“What happened to the Peter Parker Poking Promise, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked suspiciously.
“Oh, oh that’s still active of course, I was just making a suggestion, you know? In case you were feeling uninspired today or something.”
“Suuure, just admit it you’re already tired of not being the one in charge!” Peter smirked “I already have something in mind though, Mr. Stark! M- uh, a friend of mine said there’s this place in Greenwich village and they actually employ old ladies, like grandmas, you know, who have been impoverished, often widowed and otherwise couldn’t financially support themselves and they pay them really good wages and they allow them to prepare their personal specialties and each day it’s something different, so one day they might have “Grandma Ruth’s Roasted Pork Loin” and the next it could be “Grandma Giuseppina’s Lasagne” so you’re getting, like, sort of a home-cooked meal while supporting a good cause and-“
“Yeah yeah ok, I get the point. You don’t have to sell it to me you know, you are free to choose any place remember? Fri? Can you find and place an order with that place Peter is rambling on about?”
“I have found one place in Greenwich Village that suits Mr. Parker’s description by the name of “Dinner at Grandma’s House”, Sir.
“Yeah that’s the one.” Peter happily supplies.
An hour later they are sitting around the dinner table, feasting on “Grandma Anneli’s Swedish meat balls with mashed potatoes and gravy”.
“This is really good actually.” Tony muses, sounding somewhat surprised. “It does feel like a home-cooked meal. Looks like that friend of yours is a really smart-“ he waited a second before ending with “girl.” testing to see how Peter would react to that.
And as expected, Peter immediately blushes. “Yeah- she uh, she is, she’s really smart and stuff.”
“Uh-huh.” Tony smirks. “She the one that recommended that vegan place, too?”
“Yeah. Uh. She- yeah.”
Tony chuckles but feels he’s teased the kid enough.
“So, you feeling ok so far? No fever?”
“Nope.”
“Headache?”
“Nope.
“Dizzy?”
“Ugh, nooo!”
“Nauseous?”
“God, seriously, Mr. Stark!”
“Just making sure. Not taking any chances this time. You do have a tendency for surprise medical emergencies in case you didn’t know.”
Tony is slurping a way too hot but oh my gosh I can’t wait, I need my morning fix right now-coffee when Peter shuffles into the kitchen. “G’ mornin”.
“Good morning to you too.” Tony answers as he puts his coffee down to properly acknowledge the teenager he’d already been waiting for. “How are you doing today?”
“All good, thanks.” Peter’s answer was clipped.
Tony gives him an inquisitive look. The way the kid was standing there was just- off. Like he’s not standing up straight, sort of crooked. Clearly uncomfortable.
“No post-vax side-effects then?”
“Nope. Looks like I dodged a bullet this time, right?” Peter’s uncertain laugh at the end of that tips Tony off more than anything.
“Ok, cut the crap Parker. Friday already tattled. Says you’ve been squirming all night and your heart rate was way up right after you woke up, so something’s going on. Plus, you’re making a face like you’d rather be in someone else’s body right now. Care to explain?”
“Wow. Just- wow. Helicopter much?”
Tony sighs dramatically, because of course, Peter wasn’t going to just give anything up like that. “Can you please, for the love of God, for once not make it a full-time private investigator’s job looking after your health, kid?”
“I- what? What the hell are you even saying, that doesn’t make any sense.”
“You’re being a pain in the ass is what I’m saying” Peter just rolls his eyes at him. “Seriously Pete, it’s like we’re playing 20 questions every damn time. Why do I have to worm it out of you whenever I’m trying to find out if you’re ok?”
“Yeah well, I’m fine ok? Can you please just drop it?”
“Peter, side-effects are no joke, if there’s something going on I need to know. We don’t need a repeat of last time. Why can’t you just tell me these things without me having to-”
“Maybe it’s because I don’t feel like fucking advertising there’s a damn rash on my butt!” Peter almost yells as he closes the fridge with a bit more force than anticipated, resulting in a lot of rattling coming from the inside of the device. Great, now it sounds like I made have the contents of the fridge fall over and spill, he thinks.
“There’s a- what? You have a rash. On your butt.”
“Yes, goddammit.”
“Ok, kid.” Tony snickers, trying hard to suppress a laugh and basking in the relief that it was nothing serious “First of all, I’m instating a limit on swear words. Maximum daily usage. Let’s say.. five. No more. Once you’ve reached your quota of five, that’s it, gotta wait till the clock chimes midnight before you get another contingent.”
“You and me both then, Mr. Stark” Peter slyly smiles at him.
“Fine. Whatever. Daily quota of five for each of us then. But, secondly, Friday, be a dear and alert MedBay and Bruce. Tell them the Spider-Baby’s on its way with a sore Spider-Butt.”
“I can’t fucking believe this” Peter groans through his hands. He’s still currently riding what might be the biggest wave of embarrassment ever to be known to mankind, after lying face down on the exam bed with his shorts below his butt cheeks so that the Dr. Banner, gosh, why did it have to be the greatest scientist to currently walk this earth, could get a good look examining the angry looking rash he had going on down there.
“That’s four spiderling. And it’s only 9 am. Better make good use of that last no-no word today.” Tony can’t help but mock Peter in his misery.
“So, Peter, I don’t think we’ll need to go with pills just yet” Bruce says as he walks over with a tub of cream in his hand “I think this cream should do the trick. Instructions are on the back but just do be sure, apply a thin layer every couple of hours throughout the day and continue till at least the rest of the day even if the rash is already gone.”
Tony is quick to reach for the tub, “Do you want me to-“
“What the actual hell, Mr. Stark!” Peter cries out and snatches the tub from Bruce’s hand. “No, I do NOT want you to-“ Peter only then recognizes the grin on Tony’s face. He was kidding. Peter is relieved and embarrassed at the same time. And that wave of embarrassment he was riding before? Yeah, that wave just completely wiped him out and gave him a good few rounds of the wash cycle. But thank God his mentor wasn’t actually suggesting to help him put this stupid cream on his butt.
Both Bruce and Tony can’t help but snicker at the kid’s horror-stricken expression accompanied by a face glowing in color ranges matching his butt a little too well.
“I’m glad my suffering is contributing to everyone’s entertainment today” he mumbles.
“Aww, come on. You do have to agree that this is at least a bit funny, right?” Tony says as he gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder “Oh and by the way, that was five, kid.”