Chapter Text
"I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?"
Marjorie once had a love for a different man than who she had now. She had recently pondered one constant thought: did she really love him at all? One morning in April upon receiving her mail through the little slot in the front door she uncovered an envelope on which the sender's name had been the name of her previous partner, James Monroe, whom she spent a long relationship with in her high school years until finding a new love with another man who she had attended school with as well. She examined the letter that contained writings from James that showed his thought of her after the three years without seeing each other, the three years since the breakup. The next day she decided she would write back, but towards the end of her letter, she had second thoughts about sending it to him—what if she were to keep the letter for herself while it was already sealed in the envelope, addressed back to James and signed with her name?
To James:
I have been doing well in recent days. I've entered a new chapter of my life and last week said yes when my fiancé proposed to me. That day was the day I received your letter and the same night while he and I were out it was odd to me that I thought I saw you with another person at the bus stop near the park. Upon taking another glimpse I realized it hadn't been you, unfortunately. The following Sunday we visited the theater for a matinée showing of a popular stage play that later became a film that hadn't sparked my interest and throughout the entire performance my mind wandered with thoughts of things that could have made perfect plays or films...but some things are never adapted. Those films were great films.
I've thought about us recently and how this failed. I knew I loved you, James, but it appeared to me you didn't show it much during our time. We were something, don't you think so? Tragic how this love fell between us when it once had been so beautiful and alive like that of the world from the previous century with the extravagant culture that expressed incredible forms of art, but that love suddenly had an end much like that wonderful decade, I thought. The park I mentioned earlier had a stunning fountain in the center and when we approached it it appeared to be popular for the public to use for their wishes and was sprinkled with pennies. The idea of that to me felt alike our loss of each other and my heartbreak following the end. I strongly felt it could have been you. I'm not sure what happened to those happy days but if we were still together I feel that things would have been continuously fun.
How have you been in your days? You were always so warm and very gentleman-like with lots of respect for others. You charmed others easily, much like the way you did me. I would imagine everything is well, you're enjoying yourself but there's things I am unaware of. Have you been seeing anybody recently? She would be a lucky one to have an experience with a selfless man like you. You and I did so much that was meaningful to us and strayed far from those typical activities that people might find in couples, but in the midst of it all it was like I could begin to feel that everything was less stable unlike our first days...but it seemed we didn't pay it any mind, did we? We continued until the final touch was made like I had done from a paint-by-numbers piece that I purchased from an art store, and the result was very much appealing to the eye. I was able to complete it with patience and kept the colors from leaving their respective numbers and at 400, it was said and done. A love painted like a daydream, a love that we had together felt full of trust and greatness until it unfortunately met its end, much like other great loves the world once saw until there was a factor that caused it to be over.
Over the course of multiple days there were times when I had thoughts of visiting or calling because my last question had never gotten an answer, but I continued to resist the constant temptation I had of just asking you. I want to know from you, James, what went wrong? I feel we had our chances to discuss the issue and find a way around it to make it different, and if we did, would things have been different today?
We may not have the bond we once did but I am truly curious and would love to hear how you've been. It's very possible now you have found someone to be your chosen family but I often still feel the heartache from what had occurred between us and despite my engagement I still sometimes think that if nothing went wrong then it would be highly possible that we may see each other as our chosen families. Your letter was not the first time I found myself digging up the grave and searched beyond for what my memories hold and the feelings they brought back like a reincarnation that had once seen a historical time now projected into their memory that was opened as one would for a hidden time capsule uncovered from beneath the earth's rich soil. Your letter has gotten me quite intrigued, if I'm being honest.
Yours truly,
Marjorie
Marjorie ended the letter and without thinking about it, she continued to fold it in half and place it in the envelope, closing it with an azure wax seal stamp and addressing James's name and address on the back, with her name and address as well showing she was the sender. She came back to the sight of the envelope on her vanity that evening, where it was hidden behind the little black bag that contained makeup brushes to keep it out of her fiancé's sight. He wasn't in the room at the time when she was looking at it again, and on the same night when he had gone to bed, Marjorie took a moment to place the envelope inside of her jewelry box that was also on her vanity. Days would have passed since she wrote and signed the letter, and James would never receive it.
Her question could have been answered, though: what went wrong? James, in fact, had found love with another woman he met online and were in close range of each other, and she eventually moved in with him when they became closer. Marjorie chose to not send the letter the way she refrained from asking him the question in person or over the phone, but if she sent the letter back respectively, would she be upset to learn he entered a new relationship? He sent a letter to her first, though—but the idea that he was in love occurred to Marjorie—so with that, she sealed the envelope shut and kept it hidden, because maybe some things are best left forgotten.