Chapter Text
“You are what your deep, driving desire is.”
After Subaru's disappearance, Kamui often dreamed of finding him again.
They weren't pleasant dreams. In most of them, he ran for hours after Subaru's shadow, never reaching him. Sometimes, he caught up with him, only to find him grievously wounded. Only for him to die in Kamui's arms.
He never expected to find him at Fuuma's side. It's somehow even worse than the dreams to see him there, standing in the deserted remains of the Shinbashi district. On the other side of the battlefield.
Overwhelmed, he tries to focus on the relief that he's alive.
He can barely call out Subaru's name. It is him, and it isn't; a version of Subaru that Kamui doesn't know. Subaru's hand moves to adjust his cape, and Kamui notices he's wearing black gloves now. Then his gaze moves higher, and his voice catches as he tries to ask him what he's doing there.
Subaru's right eye isn't blind anymore.
A brown eye and a green eye stare back at him dispassionately. There's something in that brown eye, something hiding underneath, but Kamui's attention is distracted by Fuuma's next words.
"What do you think? That's the answer."
Fuuma's previous words echo in his head, when he was asking whether Kamui thought he had killed Hinoto. If that is the truth to you, that's your wish.
He knows that Fuuma is just trying to confuse him further. But when he thinks about it, the truth is that he has no idea what Subaru's motives are. He tried again and again to understand him, but he never could. He has never questioned him, either.
The only thing he is sure of is that most, if not all, of Subaru's actions are connected to the Sakurazukamori. But now that Subaru has killed him, who's to say what motivates him?
After all, he left the Dragons of Heaven.
He left Kamui.
The truth of the matter is that Kamui never got through to him at all. What do you think? That's the answer. And the answer is that Subaru joined Fuuma because Kamui let him down. Because he was too deeply hurt and Kamui went against his wish to die on Rainbow Bridge with the man he loved.
Because he failed him like he failed Kotori before him.
"Let me make your wish come true, Kamui," Fuuma says.
Kamui's frustration explodes between them as Fuuma summons a giant beast from the concrete blocks surrounding them and their waves of magic collide. Kamui's spell hits the concrete dragon-like creature straight on, obliterating its structure. It falls apart, bombarding them with a barrage of boulders.
Jumping back to the Dragons of Heaven, Kamui helps them shield against the blocks. They land with a deafening noise in a circle around them, raising clouds of dust.
In the distance, Kamui sees Fuuma and Subaru, standing still in the middle of the battlefield. His hand tightens around the Shinken as he charges forward, giving everything he has in a frontal attack against Fuuma.
He reaches him before he realizes that Fuuma isn't moving or doing anything to avoid his attack. But it's too late and Kamui's spell completes, the raw energy directed at Fuuma's chest.
The shockwaves shatter everything around them, sending them flying. Kamui catches Subaru's eye, far below, just before he lands again and raises the Shinken, finishing his spell with a well-rounded explosion, disintegrating what little was left standing in Shinbashi.
He is not even surprised to see Fuuma sitting on a broken pillar, waiting for him.
"Why…" Kamui says without finishing his thought aloud. Why did you not fight against me? Why did you only dodge my attack?
Fuuma answers anyway. "Even if you hurt me, you still want ‘Fuuma' back, right?"
Kamui remains silent. At the last second, he pushed the Shinken away from Fuuma, leaving only his spell to carry his attack. He knew that the sword would have pierced Fuuma's heart with ease if he had let it.
But he can only wound Fuuma, not kill him. Otherwise the real Fuuma, his Fuuma, can never return.
He can't win.
Fuuma stands up. "That's your wish, but…" In one swift movement, he holds his Shinken to Kamui's throat. "Your real wish is different."
"What?"
"I guess you won't realize your real wish until the final battle." Fuuma's face isn't triumphant or even satisfied. In fact, he looks almost pained.
Kamui feels his own sword react, burning in his hand. He follows the sword's movements more than he reacts to Fuuma's attack, reducing the large pillar they were standing on to rubble.
The shock sends him crashing to the ground. Fuuma is on top of him, the tip of his sword hovering above Kamui's heart. Kamui ignores it and stares back at Fuuma.
"My wish is to bring Fuuma back, even if I hurt Fuuma himself. That's my wish, there's no other wish!"
In the silence that follows his shout, he hears a soft voice from far above him. "There is one, Kamui. You don't realize it, but it's in there."
Subaru's name escapes Kamui's lips. His vision narrows to that silhouette standing above him, to those eyes now filled with emotion.
"If you don't realize it, nothing will change," Subaru presses on. Kamui doesn't think he's ever seen him look so… intense. As if there's something else he wanted to say, but couldn't. As if he was desperately trying to make Kamui understand something.
Fuuma's triumphant smile returns as he says, "That's why you can't beat me, ‘Kamui'." His left hand rests on the pommel of the Shinken, ready to push and pierce Kamui's heart.
Subaru's words are in his mind, but they don't make sense. Ever since he had to choose between Heaven and Earth, there has only been one wish in Kamui's heart. Ever since he lost Kotori—and Fuuma, too.
He has already decided… His hand tightens around the sword's grip, made slippery by his own blood.
He has decided that no matter what, to save Fuuma… for Fuuma…
The world around him slows down as a kind voice echoes in his head. Fuuma's words, repeated to him by Karen. "If we really wish to stop the killing of other people, then why do we lose sight of what is most important?"
He lost sight of Fuuma.
The realization stuns him. Karen told him that the more we care about someone, the more we forget we might hurt that person.
She was right.
He forgot the most important thing—he forgot Fuuma.
Because the man standing over him isn't Fuuma and has never been; he's the Kamui of the Dragons of Earth, inhabiting Fuuma's body.
Fuuma, as Kamui knew him, is gone. Even if he could free his body, Fuuma wouldn't want to come back, wouldn't want to live, not after killing his own beloved sister. Not after killing so many people. Even if Kamui took the blame for him.
The Fuuma he knows—the Fuuma he knew—would never want that.
Subaru had been right all along. He had shown him that in his dreamworld when he had rescued Kamui from his own mind, right after Kotori's death.
Subaru knew. He just never stopped Kamui from doing the wrong thing.
Simply because it was what Kamui wanted.
What he wished for, what he wanted reality to be.
The pain in those mismatched eyes… Once again, Subaru's name slips from his lips.
The world grinds to a halt. The other Kamui's eyes widen, the tip of the Shinken recoils just a fraction, as Kamui feels—as they all do—a new kekkai spreading over Tokyo.
Taking the opportunity, Kamui lets himself fall from the pile of rubble he's lying on, escaping the threat of the divine sword. He jumps out of his opponent's reach, but doesn't get very far, crouching down as his legs can't hold him up any longer. He holds his sword in a defensive stance, waiting for the other Kamui's next move.
A distant part of him recognizes the shape of this new kekkai. Not that he really needs to. After all, only Arashi and Sorata are missing.
The man who controls Fuuma's body speaks, but there's something of the original Fuuma that slips through his words. "You're getting closer. This should be interesting," he says with a smile, before disappearing.
Only then does Kamui realize that Subaru is gone, too.