Chapter Text
What was he doing here?
Why was he still with them?
Red Lanterns don't make friends! They don't get close to other people, especially not green lanterns, the very ones that he was created to destroy.
At most, he formed an alliance with his red crewmates, his favorites being Bleez and Skallox. Bleez because she was smart, tactful and didn't mess around, and Skallox because he didn't talk much.
Yet, here he was, sitting with Hal Jordan, going off about another show that he wanted to watch with Carol, disappointed that he would have to wait so long to catch up on the episodes that he missed.
Next to him was Kilowog, half listening and half focusing on devouring his plate of worms, occasionally making a comment on the strange things in said show.
"Who would go around carrying a weird shaped gun that's almost as big as him?"
"Because kilowog, big guns are cool!"
Those two got on his nerves, but despite it all, he found them... endearing.
He would constantly butt heads with them, throwing sarcastic comments at Jordan and straight up insults at Kilowog. But...
More than anything, he wanted to protect them, keep them away from Atrocitus's wrath.
Especially Aya
The AI was standing in the corner, listening to the green lantern's conversation, watching for incoming threats, transmissions, and tracking down any nearby green rings. All at the same time.
She was a marvelous piece of work, A machine that "wants" to be a green lantern herself. A computer that seemed to genuinely care about her crew. A robot that would look over at him in concern when he got himself hurt.
He kept telling himself that he would only stay with them long enough until he got a chance to kill Atrocitus, but he failed the attempted murder, and the Green Lanterns had risked their lives to rescue him. Now he was lost. Sure, he could try to kill Atrocitus again, but he didn't want them to risk themselves to save him again and for once in his time as a Red Lantern, he wanted to live and care for something, for someone instead of revenge.
Something that made his entire chest hurt.
He's seen this before, Red Lanterns having their rings leave them, stopping their hearts and leaving them for dead because they fell in love.
Because they forgave who wronged them.
Because they healed.
How unfair...
"Nice timing kid!"
"Because he's coming with us!"
"Nice job saving me. Thanks."
"Four, including you!"
"Great job, kid!"
"I know you are not evil!"
Occasionally, the words the Green Lanterns have said to him would resurface in the midst of his thoughts. Reminding him that they actually liked him, as much as he didn't deserve it, they cared for him.
With Aya checking on him after missions, worrying if he was injured. Hal making sure he always felt included on the team. Even Kilowog was looking out for him in his own gruff way.
"C'mon poozer, don't be stubborn! If you're wiped out, take a nap! It's safer for all of us if you're well rested."
Ah, the sergeant's way of saying that he trusted him, even if only a little.
If the green lanterns were smart, they wouldn't trust him or rely on him as much as they did. They must've noticed by now. Despite stealing Atrocitus' battery, his energy output was weaker than ever.
Aya was the first to confront him.
Honestly, he was expecting someone like Kilowog to comment on how horrible he was doing lately. Getting thrown around. Blasts from his ring doing less damage. Getting easily knocked out. His weakness should've been obvious, especially because as a red lantern he was supposed to be stronger than all of them in terms of raw ring energy.
Yet, the Bolovaxian and the Earthling made no comment when they had to save him. Nothing more than a "Be more careful, kid!"
It wasn't until that night that Aya finally confronted him.
"Razer? May I speak to you?"
Razer sighed, this was going to happen eventually. She was on the other side of his bedroom door, patiently waiting for him to open it even though she could easily appear in any part of the ship at will. How polite.
"Sure Aya, come in."
Aya walked in and politely sat on his bed, looking at him with a neutral yet, ever so slightly concerned expression.
"I wish to talk to you on your performance lately You appear more... lethargic. Your vitals show that you are sleeping more than you normally would and your average heart rate has dropped significantly. Are you ill, or are you hiding an injury from us? If so, it is advised to let the green lanterns know so we can help you get back to an optimal healthy state more efficiently."
For a machine that shouldn't have emotions, she seemed so genuinely worried about him that he felt guilty lying to her. He had no choice though, what would telling her what was happening accomplish? There is nothing she could do.
"Oh yeah, Red Lantern rings destroy and replace our hearts and since they're powered with hate and rage, if I start caring about you and the green lanterns, my ring will get weaker and weaker until it leaves me, and I go into cardiac arrest! No big deal, right?"
He looked down onto the floor, not wanting to lie directly at her face. He didn't want to lie to her, but what good would telling the truth do?
"It's nothing really, I never was the strongest red lantern. I realize I may be a liability and I will gladly stay on the ship, helping with repairs if you believe I am no longer in shape for battling alongside the Green Lanterns."
"Razer, I did not mean that you should refrain from combat, we were concerned that you may have been compromised in some way."
"We?"
"Yes, Green Lantern Hal Jordan and Sergeant Kilowog believe that you are putting yourself at risk with your diminishing power and despite not being as durable as them, you continue to throw yourself into danger. Please do not take offense, we worry about you and wish to help you in any way possible."
Ah, so the green lanterns did notice, and they were worrying about him. Why? He's a red lantern, not really part of the team and he assisted Atrocitus in killing other Green Lanterns. Wouldn't they want him depowered?
"WARNING"
Why did those damn Green Lanterns care so much?
"RAGE COMPROMISED"
He felt it before his ring warned him, like so many Red Lanterns who lost their rage before. He didn't think it would happen so soon. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice grip, he felt the red energy that normally flowed through him like fire slow to a near stop and his vision began to blur. He wanted to ask Aya to leave but the look on her face told him that she wouldn't listen.
"Lantern Razer! Your vitals have dropped dangerously low, I will inform the-"
Razer launched himself up from where he was sitting.
"No, Wait Aya! I... There is something I must tell you first." They will wonder what happened to him. He didn't want Aya to think she did something wrong. He didn't want Hal to blame himself. Would Kilowog be disappointed that this is how he went out?
"USER DEATH IMMINENT"
Aya had gotten up to hold him steady and was frantically calling the others while he struggled to stand up straight. She deserved to know what was going on.
"Aya, listen... the ring is what keeps us red lanterns alive. It requires anger and hate to function, but the Green Lanterns... and you... You have shown me what it is liked to be forgiven and what it's liked to be loved again. Thank you."
He had so much more to say but didn't have the energy to explain anymore. He heard his door open again and the voices of Hal and Kilowog as his vision blacked out. The last thing he felt was himself falling into gentle arms.