Chapter Text
It must have been two or three in the afternoon when Kili broke through the bushes of Mirkwood and finally breathed the fresh open air. After delivering his catches from his hunting trip to the men of dale he had decided to visit Tauriel and spent 5 amazing days with her before Thranduil had enough of the Dwarf and sent him home. He soaked in the view of the lonely mountain ready to return.
It had been almost five years since they had taken it back and it was slowly but surely returning to its former glory. Kili was happy to finally see the place he had heard so much of while growing up but he couldn't help but feel like no one noticed him anymore. Thorin was busy doing king stuff, Fili had to always be with him as the heir, and Dís and everyone else was constantly busy with the rapidly growing kingdom. Of course Kili understood that all their skills were needed but after five years the lack of real contact with his family and friends had left Kili a little bummed. He found himself going on many solo hunting trips and visiting his one in Mirkwood to pass the time.
As he walked through the great gates of Erebor he thought back on his trip. It had been almost a month since he left.
That's the longest I've been gone. I hope the others weren't to worried.
Kili was then met with Balin walking right past him, his nose in some document or other, without even acknowledging him. It hurt him just a little to be so blatantly ignored but he shook away the bad feelings and headed over to talk to Dwalin.
"Hey Dwalin!" Kili greeted his friend with a smile.
"Hello Kili," Dwalin's response was flat.
"Uhm, how's it going? you been busy?"
"Obviously I've been busy Kili and I still am so if this can wait that'd be great," Dwalins annoyance at the young prince was evident and Kili could only shrink away from the tall dwarf. Afterall he didn't want to be an annoyance.
As he was turning to leave, Dwalin said something to him.
"Why don't you go on one of those trips you do, pass the time some,"
Kili stiffened at the suggestion, his thoughts trying desperately to find something else, something that doesn't mean what he knows now must be true.
When he regained his bearing he walked away from Dwalin and whispered under his breath.
"I just got back,"
He didn't say it loud enough for Dwalin to hear, he didn't want to. Dwalin was a busy dwarf and he didn't want to upset him. It's no big deal he told himself. But he knew deep in his soul that it hurt him more than he would like to admit, being forgotten.
---
At dinner Kili sat at the long royal dining table and ate in lonely silence. Again. These days everyone else was to busy to eat dinner at any reasonable hour so Kili sat by himself with nothing to entertain him but his own mind, and what a sad place it had become recently. Thoughts slaying dragons, fighting evil and being a hero with tales galore were replaced with worry and contemplation and loneliness. Oh the loneliness, Kili thought it might eat him alive if he could not just talk with someone.
He was deep in these new thoughts when the grand door opened and in the doorway appeared his brother an uncle. Upon noticing their arrival Kili shot up out of his seat to greet them excitedly. Though perhaps it was a bit much as Thorin put one hand to his forehead and used the other to motion for Kili to sit.
"Please Kili tone it down, my head feels like it might explode," Thorin said
Kili sat down and mumbled his apology.
Thorin and Fili sat at the Table opposite Kili and Their meals were brought out shortly. As much as Kili had yearned for some company he wasn't quite sure what to say. It had been so long since he got to talk to his family properly and Thorin had already proved to be in an irritable mood. He looked between his brother and uncle and his heart ached to see how tired they looked, they had clearly been drained by the days activities, the purple under their eyes only proved the point.
"Were you at a meeting?"
Kili had said it before he could catch himself, work was surely the last thing they wanted to talk about right now. Neither dwarf in front of him answered ,however, and instead they both stared at him as if contemplating what he could've meant. Kili wasn't sure what to make of their reactions until Fili spoke.
"Kili, we were in Dale to celebrate the city's first harvest,"
"Oh,"
Perhaps Kili did feel a small bit dejected that he had not been invited but then again he had been away for a month.
"When was that planned?" he asked
Fili sighed before answering
"Three weeks ago! How had you not heard? The whole kingdoms been talking about it for half a cycle at least,"
"..."
The same dread that had washed over him when speaking to Dwalin returned to hit him like a ton of bricks. He excuse himself without finishing his dinner and left the dinning hall.
Not even his brother knew he had been gone.
His feet took him straight to his chamber and over to his wardrobe. Reaching into the back he pulled out the same pack he carried here from Bag End almost 5 years ago. He reminisced over his travels as he stuffed his pack with everything he'd need for the long walk ahead of him. He wrote a quick letter to his Family and left it neatly on his desk. Dwalin was right, Kili needed to pass the time somewhere else, somewhere where he will feel loved an appreciated, somewhere he'll never be forgotten.
It may have been a rash and impulsive decision but Kili was sure that anything was better than this. He was going back to Bag End.