1 - 20 of 114 Works in Paul Matthews/Ted Spankoffski

Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    Any fanart or ship related to Hatchetverse!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9
    Chapters:
    126/?
    Comments:
    915
    Kudos:
    2,618
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    75,969
  2. Tags
    Summary

    So after Ted royally saved his little brother's ass, pardon his French, he was once again left with the short end of the stick because now his parents expected him to bring his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and they would not let it rest. So with no girlfriend, little time, and less options, Ted does what any sane man would do and takes his own incredibly sound advice.

    aka: the fake dating AU inside my other fake dating AU

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,454
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    677
  3. Tags
    Summary

    out of all the weird and annoying work things paul has been unable to 'no thanks' his way out of, this is the weirdest and most annoying—how is he meant to bring his kid into work if he doesn't have a kid? of course, he managed to bribe richie into coming with a considerable amount of ice cream and the promise that he could sleep over afterwards, but he’s not entirely sure how the other people in the office without kids are gonna fare.

    or

    paul and ted find out they have more in common than they thought

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    981
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    175
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Every day I will do a kinktober prompt with a hatcheldfield couple

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,141
    Chapters:
    5/31
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    270
  5. Tags
    Summary

    So I decided to do Kinktober this year. Fun, right? wowww... I'm really gonna try, so updates (hopefully) every day!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,259
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    415
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Maxwell Jägerman was a bad person.

    Everyone knew it, and that made his overly crowded funeral feel extremely hollow.

    Everyone dozed as different people spoke about bare minimum Intel about Max, he was an asshole, and he was star quarterback.

    Except Peter Spankoffski felt drained, more so than everyone else in that room.

    More so than his dad,
    His supposed friends— his town who appreciated his skill like they appreciated god

    Not because Peter Spankoffski cared for Max's funeral, or Max's family, or Max—

    Because 2 Nerdy Prudes died that month.

    And Peter Spankoffski couldn't face that their funerals would be coming up just the same.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    51
  7. Tags
    Summary

    An angst oneshot that spawned from listening to From The Dining Table at 1am and thinking about hatchetfield couples I could torture. Sorry chaicoffee, it’s your turn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,883
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    87
  8. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,856
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    34
    Hits:
    625
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Paul and Ted have been fucking around for a while, but when Paul starts to become distant, Ted decides the most obvious solution is to suck him off under his desk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,192
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    316
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Ted Spankoffski was not scared of thunder.

    Well, okay. Who liked thunder, really? He’d never met anyone who would label themselves a fan of thunder. Nobody liked it. He just disliked it… more than some people.

    (or, the one where ted is scared of thunder, and paul helps him)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,457
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    261
  11. Tags
    Summary

    He didn’t know if everyone was like that — reconstructed from the inside, but with that nascent core left in them of what they once were. If Bill would pine melodically for a caramel frappe. If Mr Davidson warbled with his hands around his throat. He only knew that he was like this, that he watched with his real eyes through the film of Pokey’s gaze as the citizens of Hatchetfield rebuilt the ruins of their town, singing as they worked.

    -

    Paul meets Teddy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,433
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    252
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “No, and–” Paul twisted the door knob twice, which made no effort to budge. “And it wasn’t supposed to close.”

    “Why the fuck not?” Ted tried his best not to sound too worried about the prospects of a locked door. “You have the key, right?”

    “Okay, okay, um, well–” Paul took a deep breath in. “No?”

    “No?” Ted repeated. “Are you asking me or telling me? Because I’m pretty sure I don’t like either of those answers.”

    ---

    ted and paul get trapped in a closet. homosexuality ensues.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    491
  13. Tags
    Summary

    But, wearing his glasses did have a few benefits. He could actually see the world around him a little better. He could read the labels on the food in the fridge without holding it right up to his face, he could read emails on his computer without enlarging the font a bunch, and he could notice a fuck ton of other details that otherwise would’ve flown completely under the radar for him.

    Or, in the case of his inspection of Paul, he could notice the very obvious red lipstick stains around Paul’s lips, no doubt leftover residue from his barista girlfriend during his coffee run earlier.

    -

    ted wears his glasses, harasses paul, and gets kissed about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,141
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    399
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Ted’s coworkers at CCRP, more than anything, stood as a reminder for him, as a warning to keep him in line whenever he considered letting down the mask that he had put up.

    Whenever he was him, people didn’t like him.

    ---

    (or, the one where paul asks ted on a date, and ted spirals a bit)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,150
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    441
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Yet another new year's party, that means, drunk people, gay discoveries, and a hell of a lot of ted x paul content because its my hyperfixation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,088
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    307
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Paul never meant to end up teaching music to kindergartners (or reconnecting with someone he never really forgot.) But sometimes all it takes is a kazoo, a frog hat, and a familiar song to bring the past back in tune.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,370
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    330
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Ted made a sketchy purchase, and now he has a sketchy plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,196
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    33
    Hits:
    376
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Chaicoffeebeans, but infected.

    They’re all in love and live happily ever after !!!!

    (its not happy)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,154
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    214
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A canon divergent after Bill’s death, where instead of meeting with the military — Paul goes straight back into the action.

    He has time to mourn (arriving before Hidgen’s sedates Emma and Ted) with the others, before all hell continues to break loose.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,015
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    274
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “How are you still completely fine?” Bill asked, face down on the table. “You drank more than both of us combine.”

    Ted’s smile faltered for a second and Paul might not have caught it if he wasn’t already staring at Ted. When did he start staring at Ted in the first place? Paul shakes his head a little as the question creeped into his mind and Ted’s smile is back full force, but it looked a little strained now.

    “Don’t ask questions we don’t want the answers to,” Ted said and he tauntingly patted Bill’s head, causing the other man to groan miserably into the table.

    ~~~

    It's been two months since Richie and Pete became friends, and Bill manages to convince Ted and Paul to let his wife babysit the kids while they have a guys night out.

    Paul thinks he's starting to learn more about Ted than the other would've liked.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    633

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Clear Filters

Navigation