Kizalaqu
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As You Say by Nary for lemonsharks
Fandoms: Neo-Babylonian Break-Up Letter (Hyperallergic April Fools Post)
18 Dec 2020
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Summary
King Nabonidus first heard the rumor from a Persian merchant who sold fine jewelry, who travelled with his riverboat caravan to the palace hoping to find a buyer for his wares. "These" he said, having spread out a cloth before the king and laid the heavy gold and glistening gems there with a delicate hand, "are the very best I have to offer. So fine that the great General Nisaba bought one for his wife."
"General Nisaba has no wife," the king said, frowning. "I should know, for he has been my dearest friend since childhood."
"Ah," the merchant said. "Perhaps I misunderstood."