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    Summary

    When he had been seeing Dr. Copeland, he learned so much about himself and about the habits and behaviors he fell back on when things got hard. That didn’t go away after he stopped seeing her, it just meant that he was even more aware of what he was doing. And somehow that made it a little bit worse. Because maybe he should know better. And maybe that meant he was doing it on purpose.

    ---

    First Maddie left, then Chimney and Jee, and Buck had managed to keep things together. And then Eddie left the 118 and Buck felt like his world was crumbling around him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,064
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2,658
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Season 5 AU; Prompt 15
    Buck has had enough. He gets it, ok? Everyone has had a shitty time of it recently, and is going through some shit.
    But that does NOT mean it is all his fault, and he is DONE being their punching bag - emotional and otherwise - and taking all the blame.
    Eddie's leaving - and the sheer HYPOCRISY - is the last straw.
    So when he's called up out of the Reserves despite coming to the end of his contract, Buck doesn't even try to fight it, leaving for Miramar without a backwards glance.
    He gives some people a piece of his mind before he does though, leaving Hen and Bobby in particular (what with neither Chimney or Eddie bothering to speak with him right now) with a lot to think about.

    Series
    Language:
    English
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    4,590
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    892
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    14,833
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “May, I, uh, don’t know if- if they’ll get here in time. My jeep was pushed off the road, I’m hanging on by the guardrail mangled under the backend somehow.”

    “You’re gonna be fine.” She said firmly. “You will, Bobby will be there soon and will get you out, Buck.”

    “Always liked how optimistic you were.” Buck chuckled. “A lot like me. Hard to keep that optimism and hope for yourself, but able to share it with anyone and everyone around you. Because it’s more important that they stay happy and content then-”

    “Stop.” May’s voice cracked. “Stop, please. You’re- you’re like my big brother, ok? And you’re getting out of this. You are.”

    “Ok, May.” Buck sighed. “Can I ask a favor?”

    “Yeah.” She agreed easily.

    “Can- can you get Eddie? Just- there’s some things that need said. Just in case, ya know?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,688
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    1,759
    Bookmarks:
    486
    Hits:
    26,940
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Today we have to go to the store, right?”
    “Well, I am going to go to the store, you are going to stay here. You have a guest coming today.”
    His hand fell to his lap as his eyebrows scrunched together, trying to remember who was supposed to come over today. The calendar on the fridge only said groceries on it.

    “Who?”

    “Chimney.”

    or Part Two to We All Grieve Differently

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,255
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    251
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    5,082
  5. Tags
    Summary

    After being struck by lightning and considered dead for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, Buck struggles with a profound sense of emptiness and disconnection.
    Despite the support of his friends and family, especially Eddie, he finds it increasingly difficult to cope with his internal turmoil

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,820
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    252
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It was a simple scene – just your ordinary, average, run of the mill multi-vehicular accident. It should have been nothing. It was nothing. Until a runaway drunk driver on a bridge changed everything.

    And Eddie, working at dispatch, could only listen as the man he loves is washed away by the element that seems determined to take him to a watery grave, one way or another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,966
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    542
    Kudos:
    1,574
    Bookmarks:
    436
    Hits:
    30,435
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Post-Episode 5x10. Summary: After a bitter breakup with Taylor and Eddie’s announcement that he’s leaving the 118, Buck spirals into a self-hating, self-sacrificing breakdown. During a harrowing call, he severely burns his hands trying to save someone.

    Deeply concerned, Eddie insists on taking care of Buck throughout his recovery. Buck realizes his feelings for Eddie are stronger than he thought…and that terrifies him. He already lost him as a partner. He didn’t want to lose him a friend, too.

    A/N: Get ready for some whump and angst, people. What I think is going to happen after the events of 5x10. I’m gonna warn you, this is really emotionally heavy and pretty much like a therapy exercise for me right now. I’m literally crying while writing. I’m okay though. This is cathartic.

    Title and chapter titles based on the song "when the party's over" by Billie Eillish.

    Tis a miracle...I have updated. I'm so sorry. Updated: 3/16/2024

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,337
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    305
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    12,320
  8. Tags
    Summary

    He floated, for the first time in years he floated and he choked on the burn that made its way sharply down his throat.

    When he came up for the last time he looked up at the sky and let himself find peace.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,953
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    470
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    10,683
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In the months since Eddie left the 118 he and Buck have become a couple. With a surprise pregnancy and a horrific accident can they handle their new normal now that Buck can no longer be a firefighter as well?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,138
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    348
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    9,806
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Buck was woken by the incessant buzzing of his phone a mere couple of hours after he got off his shift.
    As he reached for his phone he went through the list of people that could be trying to contact him so badly right after a shift. His first thought was that it was Eddie, but they hadn’t talked since he told the team he was leaving the 118 during the Christmas party and it was now February. It could have been Christopher, texting or Facetiming as they had been often, but he should be at school. His next thought was that it was Maddie, but she was still not picking up his calls. He thought maybe Taylor, but they had run into each other as he got back this morning and she knew he had been planning on sleeping and she was working all day. None of them were viable candidates for who was texting him, but they still were all more likely than the name he saw on his screen.
    Rebecca.

    Or
    Buck knew that he had a daughter since the lawsuit, but he wasn’t allowed to be in her life until his was falling apart. He wasn’t sure whether he could consider his team family anymore, but with his daughter now in his life, he had to figure it out.

    Language:
    English
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    33,163
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    2,061
    Bookmarks:
    642
    Hits:
    40,124
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The Machine never used to get in touch just to chat. Just another thing it stole from Root, Shaw guesses.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,523
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    853
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Evan Buckley has celebrated many Christmases, but he's never really known what he wanted until he meets Eddie.

    And for a while, he's so sure he can't have him.

    (Buck and all of his Christmases)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,502
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    554
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    6,559
  13. Tags
    Summary

    This was what his freak out over Red had been about. Not the fact that he wanted a family and feared losing them, feared growing old with no-one to care. He'd already known that for a long time. It's why he left Pennsylvania behind. He'd wanted to grow roots, it just took awhile to find the right spot.

    No, what had him freaking out was that on some level he knew these people, the core group on A shift, weren't his and never would be.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    569
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    11,633
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Buck comes into work one day a little worse for wear. Hen isn’t happy about it.

    Day 25 of Writer’s Month 2022.

    Prompt: Lips

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    787
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    3,648
  15. Tags
    Summary

    After Eddie leaves the 118, after over a year of therapy, Buck actually gains enough mental stability to put up a boundary between him and the remaining members of the 118, recognizing his own need for space as everything finally falls apart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,830
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    615
    Bookmarks:
    208
    Hits:
    10,818
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After Eddie dropped the bomb that he was leaving the 118, Buck spiraled. Bobby was getting near his 57 birthday meaning he would be offered retirement, Hen would start his internship soon and Chim was chasing his sister. He didn't want to be the last one in the 118. Buck always knew that one day, he would take over his adoptive father's job. Maybe it was time to go home, back to the north pole.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,458
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    350
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    6,002
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Before the LAFD, Evan Buckley worked as a spy, taking on all of the missions assigned to him even as it slowly grated against his soul. After one final assassination mission, he retired and signed up for the Fire Academy.

    Five years later, just weeks after Eddie's departure from the 118, Buck's past comes back to haunt him. As Buck fights from the shadows to protect everyone he loves and keep his past in the past once and for all, Eddie and the rest of his family struggle through the grief of Buck's untimely "death," and Eddie mourns the loss of the chance to tell his best friend how he really feels about him.


    Buddie Big Bang 2022

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,753
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    1,345
    Bookmarks:
    367
    Hits:
    19,667
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Tumblr Prompt: Eddie revealing that he’s leaving is the final straw for Buck. He leaves and when Eddie goes to his place later Buck unleashed hell, from calling him a hypocrite for saying they’d be stuck together to then deciding to leave, to dropping the bomb on Christmas. Eddie did what he thought was right but he’s going to have to deal with the hurt he’s piled onto Buck. Can culminate into furious lovemaking too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,723
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    780
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    13,653
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A recollection of events, and an unsuspecting surprise. Just when Nacho believes she's finally free of the clasps of the cartel, a shadow keeps her running for her life.

    (a fem!lacho fic; on indefinite hiatus)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,256
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    637
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Set some time after 5x10 but canon divergence before 5x11.

    He thinks maybe this is purgatory. And the day behind them was dea- destruction and all the days that lay in wait for them outside of that door are hell. Living hell. Hell because they are living. 

    An accident on the job brings the world crashing down and then Buck's scattered family back together, if only he was there to see it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,544
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    315
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    7,177

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