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What To Do When Your Coworker Predicts Your Untimely Death by volta_said_revolt
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
03 Mar 2023
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Tim's new coworker is a mystery he is itching to solve. Things get a little more complicated than he would expect.
[End!Jon]
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Four avatars walk into a bar and gossip about the Distortion's love life.
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Bookmark Notes:
The reverse of momster fucker, hunter fucker!!! :D With no XXX Just talking about it
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Tired Employee Who Hates Everyone Decides To Fuck Off by volta_said_revolt
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
03 Oct 2020
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After the Unknowing, Jon is approached by Peter Lukas. Throwing himself into work was always what he was best at anyway.
[Lonely!Jon and Beholding!Martin]
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His eyes are at once dead and horribly, horribly alive. The milky film over his cornea does little to hush the luminous golden brown of his irises, huge around pupils so shrunken that Martin can hardly see them.
Jonathan Sims blinks. Then he frowns.
“Am I to take it you’ve never met a vampire, then?”
Oh, Martin is going to get a rubbish review.Or,
Struggling for income, Martin registers with an app that connects vampires with willing blood donors. His first client is not at all what he expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 124,120
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Comments:
- 1,343
- Kudos:
- 1,934
- Bookmarks:
- 425
- Hits:
- 41,612
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AJAKSJWKSKDKDNDNDJDKDKDKDKD
Incredible vampire lore
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Gerry has just filled up his mug with coffee when it hits him. It’s a faint but sharp pain, zinging through his left wrist. He exhales a puff of laughter. That’s the third time this week. Whoever his soulmate is, they’re having a rough time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,577
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 79
- Kudos:
- 2,033
- Bookmarks:
- 247
- Hits:
- 9,566
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Bookmark Notes:
Wish they keep going with the idea, sounds so good and the writting was beautiful!!
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Condition Seventy-Two by funfeons (orphan_account)
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
03 Feb 2024
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“I’m working, Mrs Robinson,” Michael says, giggling. He swings up, crossing his legs. His ankles loop endlessly.
Gertrude walks to the other chair and sinks into it. With one eyebrow raised, she snaps, “I think death is a reasonable excuse to not work.”
“No, no, no, no. Heavens, no. Well, it’s really quite funny because well…” Michael barfs a sheet of paper and flourishes it in the air. He stabs at a line with his finger, the nail piercing it – only it doesn’t come out the other side. “It actually says here that, if one assistant becomes an immortal being and can still bring themselves physically to work, they have to be present.”
(An AU where Michael Shelley returns to haunt his killer, Gertrude Robinson, although he isn't a ghost but instead he embodies a murderous employee. I take no credit for this AU; I saw it floating around on Tumblr a few months ago and it's played on my mind ever since. Credit goes to the AU's creator!)
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- Part 3 of Warm-up Writing Exercises
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Bookmark Notes:
ctabb summer reading
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Martin is crying when Jon walks into the bedroom.
"Oh," he says, and then: "Hey, hey, it's okay, what happened? Are you alright?"
"No," Martin chokes out, vehement. "You left me." -
nature has taught her creatures to hate by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
30 Mar 2025
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The door to Mr. Spider's home closes, and Tommy Bradstaff disappears behind it, and the book does not.
Jon picks it up.
Or:
Sometimes Jon wonders who he'd be if Gertrude had taken his Statement that day.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 192,586
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,869
- Kudos:
- 3,399
- Bookmarks:
- 1,122
- Hits:
- 92,773
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"Do you regret it?"
"Regret it?"
"Setting them free. Letting them spread."Jon and Martin have a quiet conversation as they watch the sunrise.
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Neurobiology of Sentient Planets: Surveying MS101, PL159, and AC147 of Sedounirama Star Cluster by erainnamorato
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
17 May 2025
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Abstract:
This study analyzes the emergent sentience of three planets in the Sedounirama Star Cluster: MS101 “The Distortion,” PL159 “The Lonely,” and AC147 “WEB.” Utilizing Hertaʼs Space Station’s neuro-scanning arrays, Genius Society-designed neutrino translators, and the Astral Express’s frontier methodologies, we document unprecedented cognitive behaviors—including AC147’s deliberate communication attempts. Findings challenge the IPC’s Definition of Life (Edict 44-B) and suggest the Cluster itself may be a linked system.
⚠️ Note: Per IPC Protocol 11:2 and Garden of Recollection mandates, Memosnatcher des. Stoker’s annotations on “memetic hazards” have been classified and relocated to the Garden’s Anamnesis Library. (Access requires Level-9 clearance and a signed waiver absolving the IPC of “existential dread-related damages.”)
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She deepens the kiss, pushes him back into the couch a bit, and slowly slides a hand up his shirt, tracing his warm skin. She feels him inhale sharply, drawing back a bit from her.
She blinks, drawing back as well until she can look him in the eyes. His are open wide.
“Everything okay?” she asks.
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And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove
Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
10 Apr 2022
- Words:
- 33,234
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 360
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Buckle yourself in for this one, folks. Trust me.
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When he’s eight years old, Jon’s grandmother sews his lips shut to stop him from talking about Mr. Spider. Two decades later, Jon comes to the conclusion that she might have had a point.
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- Part 10 of Whumptober 2025
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Walking in the middle of the end of the world, Jon and Martin talk about hiking, baths, and doing the shopping.
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- Part 6 of You and Me, Together
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,028
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 56
- Kudos:
- 569
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 2,365
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Listen sometimes. Sometimes you gotta draw porn and sometimes you gotta post it somewhere. So this is gonna be where I post my TMA smut!
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What sits outside the rest stop is not the same person, it isn’t even a person at all, but neither is it not. A contradictory mistake of nature that eats blue peanut M&M’s first, swearing they’re the best, and drinks Pepsi with a straw so the sugar wont hurt his teeth. Its teeth, rather. Can Michael even get cavities? Well, regardless, there is Michael and there is Michael Shelley and they meet in the middle as Gerry sits beside it and shares one of his ear-buds connected to a scratched up old Walkman.
A headphone cord links them together as they murmur conspiratorially, heads bowed until nearly touching. Michael tips a handful of M&M’s into its palm and picks blue first, offering it to Gerry.
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Written for a prompt fill. Gerry, Michael, and Gertrude on what could generously be called a 'road trip'. -
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“Oh, sorry,” the woman says. “Where are my manners? You can call me Annabelle. You’re Jon, of course.”
“How did you--” he starts.
“Know your name? Is that really what disturbs you the most here?”
No. No, it isn’t.
“What-- what do you want?” he demands, and he can’t keep his voice steady in the slightest. He tries to sit up, to stand, to leave. Get out of here.
His muscles don’t even tense up.
Annabelle tilts her head at him, her mouth pulling up at the corners in amusement. Her eyes glitter, and he can’t help but feel that she’s silently laughing at his fruitless struggling.
“I wanted to meet the newest addition to my family, of course,” she says. “We’re siblings now. Or cousins? Which do you think sounds better?”
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There is no escaping family, once the Mother decides that you're one of hers. Something terrible happens to Jon.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,523
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 526
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- 93
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- 2,799
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“I don’t know how many stairs there are,” Jon says. “I… I can’t tell. I don’t know. How can I go down the stairs when I don’t know how many there are? How will I know that I’ve got to the bottom, Martin? I… I don’t know how to do it.”
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Jon has adjusted well to not having powers any more. Mostly.
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- Part 4 of Whumptober 2025
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Judge Roberta Field eyed the next case on the docket balefully. She’d known it was coming. As soon as she’d seen it appear in her schedule she’d cursed and debated “breaking a leg”, since it had been too late to have another baby as a way out. She’d convinced herself that was too extreme, however, and lulled herself into a false sense of security that she must be misremembering and it wouldn’t be that bad. So she’d decided to keep working and let it happen. And now it was here.
The Bouchard-Lukas divorce.
Again.
It had been three years since the last one, which had to be a new record.
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Elias and Peter are divorcing again. In trying to decide the division of their marital property, they need some witnesses to assist their respective cases. This is unfortunate for Jon and Martin, who would really rather be elsewhere.
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This was sooooo funny omg
(Pg.10)
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Martin brings Jon tea. He's never done that before.
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- Part 2 of You and Me, Together
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,438
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 852
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 4,090