Stapler_Stealer
Fandoms
Recent works
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Confessions of a Runaway Debutante by Stapler_Stealer
Fandoms: Gossip Girl (TV 2007), Bridgerton (TV)
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“Is this some poorly disguised attempt at courtship?” Blair casts her most condescending look upon him. “If it is, I beseech you to desist at once, for I do not associate with the likes of you — namely, boys with…ridiculous hair, dubious lineages and laughably enormous egos.”
He blinks back in stunned silence at the bluntness of her words — but not for long.
“I do not happen to be looking for a wife, but even if I were — ” the curly-haired heathen scoffs. “I’d surely court a lady with a far more…pleasant disposition.”
(Bridgerton Dair AU: Desperate to escape her impending engagement with Charles Bass, the Duke of Sussex — Blair Waldorf will stop at nothing. Even if it means hunting down the secret identity of London’s most enigmatic writer — the infamous Lady Whistledown herself.)
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i went to monaco with the prince (and all i got was this lousy t-shirt) by Stapler_Stealer
Fandoms: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
26 Feb 2025
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Summary
Blair Waldorf, future Princess of Monaco, is this close to fulfilling her destiny, getting everything she’s ever wanted — and more.
So why are the images of a certain boy from Brooklyn (a very shirtless one at that), haunting her in her dreams — day and night?
Series
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Summary
Dan shaves his head for Halloween.
Blair is NOT pleased. Not even in the slightest bit.
(Or: A glimpse of Dan and Blair’s evolving hair — er, I mean relationship — over the years.)
Series
- Part 3 of two drifters, off to see the world
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Summary
Blair Waldorf reckons that Dan Humphrey texts her far too many memes. And what kind of man — a former New York Times bestselling author, at that — uses that many emojis in his texts, anyway?
Or: A modern tale of Dan and Blair reconnecting via texts, group chats, emails and perhaps one (or ten) too many memes.
Series
- Part 2 of two drifters, off to see the world
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just like in the movies by Stapler_Stealer
Fandoms: Gossip Girl (TV 2007), Gossip Girl Series - Cecily von Ziegesar
03 Sep 2024
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Summary
“I have five words for you, Mr Humphrey—,” Blair leans in with both palms laid flat on the counter, a triumphant smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “—The future…is online streaming.”
“And I have four words for you, Miss Waldorf,” Humphrey replies, with a mocking smile. “Get. The. Fuck. Out!”
Or, Blair Waldorf is a ruthless media executive looking to acquire an indie video rental store, seal that damn deal and score that sweet, sweet promotion.
There’s just one teensy little problem that stands in her way — a stubborn, curly-haired store manager by the name of Dan freaking Humphrey.
Recent series
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it's been nice not being friends with you by Stapler_Stealer
Fandom: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
26 Feb 2025
Summary
S4 AU shenanigans. Dan and Blair are just friends, who sometimes go to a museum, or catch a movie together. Or…y’know, occasionally have sex — big difference, right?
I mean— what could possibly go wrong???
- Words:
- 47,857
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 15
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Summary
You have to admit things worked out in the end though, right? Me with Serena, and you with Chuck?
We each found our way back to our one destined love, after a uh…somewhat misguided detour?
- Words:
- 69,416
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Caelus lay motionless, his expression slack, his chest barely rising with each breath.
For a single, agonizing heartbeat, Dan Heng's world stopped.Series
- Part 1 of Scales & Stardust
Bookmarked by Stapler_Stealer
27 May 2025
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Summary
Blair, of course, makes it her duty to recruit voters for Hillary. Dan, of course, puts up with it.
Bookmarked by Stapler_Stealer
18 Jun 2025
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Summary
Dan regrets.
Bookmarked by Stapler_Stealer
14 Jun 2025
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Summary
Eloise Bridgerton has everything she’s supposed to want. A husband. A home. A life sewn neatly together by expectation.
And yet—when Theo Sharpe reappears, no longer the boy from the printshop but the man she never forgot—she begins to unravel.
A story of stolen moments, remembered desires, and the love that lingers long after it’s been buried.
Theloise week 2025 Day 4: Forbidden love whilst in an arranged courtship or marriage
Bookmarked by Stapler_Stealer
24 Apr 2025
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Summary
Cressida Cowper’s quiet and comfortable life on the sheep farm is shattered when she receives a letter from her mother. Her father has arranged a marriage for her, at last. Will he be old, ugly, or simply cruel? To her surprise, Cressida’s suitor turns out to be quite pleasant, and yet she cannot seem to stop her mind from wandering back to a certain Bridgerton girl and the friendship they once shared.
Meanwhile, Penelope and Colin are searching for dirt on the Queen. Will they find the gossip they need to end Her Majesty’s involvement in Whistledown once and for all? Or will sticking their noses where they do not belong have unintended consequences once again?
Series
- Part 2 of Whistle-down-danger