ZinaraTarot
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Summary
Title self-explanatory: Astarion's love confession, tooth-rotting sweetness
Series
- Part 12 of Vixstarria's bardlock Tav
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Summary
“...So a deal with a Devil wouldn’t cure the vampirism?”
Halsin hesitated for a moment, eyeing Astarion. “That sounds like a – malformed decision in spite of already established Infernal pacts.”
“You hate all my ideas. What’s your other theory, then?”
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(Or, Halsin can read Infernal, and Astarion's scars ache.)Series
- Part 7 of we can be heroes (just for one day)
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Summary
Some part of him could picture it then, could imagine telling her everything - speaking til dawn on his whole history. Spending the next day in this same spot, diving into what he knew of hers. Asking how it felt to gore that bard. Instead, he mirrored her smile - his own wicked grin for seducing and scheming.
“I’ve wanted to taste you since I first felt that pretty neck under my blade.”
And as her head fell back in a laugh, the white expanse of her neck on full display at his easy, overused line, he watched the golden girl fall into the palm of his hand.
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COMPLETED.Astarion had known the woman's face immediately - Halia Dhune, the golden daughter of Baldur's Gate. The princess of the upper city. How many times had Cazador sent him after her - wanting to claim the socialite as a trophy to add to his awful collection? At least now he wouldn't have to go back to his master empty handed, should the tadpole situation not work out in his favor.
(or: what if the Dark Urge was a noble woman, perfect and popular, and her father's favorite fox in the henhouse. and of course, what if our dear vampire knew of her before the crash?)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 140,318
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
- 634
- Kudos:
- 1,743
- Bookmarks:
- 451
- Hits:
- 80,087
Bookmarked by ZinaraTarot
28 Jun 2025
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Summary
This one probably isn't long for the world regardless. He was going to get beaten to death in a dark alleyway sooner or later. Astarion knows exactly how unpleasant a death that was, and how merciful a few confused and terrified moments in Cazador's boudoir would be by comparison. His master wouldn't care that his first mark had been scared off or that this one was dead on his feet when Astarion found him, he'd only care if the guest room was empty.
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The gods have never cared for Astarion and Astarion has never cared for the gods. His prayers have always gone unheard - until tonight.
Or, what happens when Astarion brings the Dark Urge back to Cazador.
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Summary
Turns out, it’s not heart disease that gets you. Not a car crash, the second coming, or even a plain old slip in the shower that removes you from this mortal coil.
It’s motherfucking aliens.
Your Uncle Randy would be so proud.
Or: two losers cheat, stab, and flirt their way to a win.
Series
- Part 1 of these two shitheads