brusque
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Hermione is back in England after eight years. Her first order of business is to attend a dinner party hosted by DILFs.
The Eight Rules for Fucked Up Individuals: A Dinner -
1. Leave work at the door. If you must talk about work, take a shot.
2. Wear Black. This isn’t a funeral, but we are mourning the people we used to be, and the expectations of who we’ll never become.
3. Compliments must be specific; the more unhinged the better.
4. You cannot say “I’m Fine”...Unless you give a 3-5 sentence monologue explaining why you are absolutely not.
5. Everyone is encouraged to share their pettiest opinion. The smaller the hill, the harder you die on it.
6. Crying is allowed. If you cry, you get first dibs on dessert.
7. Everyone must toast to something they’ve lost. Metaphors are allowed.
8. If you fall in love, you must declare it. Lust counts.- Language:
- English
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- 5,700
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Bookmarked by brusque
07 Aug 2025
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“I wonder who will be judging you today,” her owner muttered, taking out a handkerchief and patting his forehead.
Hermione’s eyes wandered around the space and saw a few judges already out and about. Because there were so many pets, the show had numerous judges examining each and every one. She could tell who was a judge simply by their all-black ensemble and white leather gloves.
A judge finally made eye contact with her owner and headed toward them. Hermione immediately straightened.
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Pet Show AU
Bookmarked by brusque
11 Apr 2025
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Shag Lists, Wish Lists and Other Miracles by greenflowerpot
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Dec 2024
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Hermione Granger joins the Ministry after a year abroad. Draco Malfoy becomes her friend, then she learns something about him that makes her not want to be his friend, then she plans an office Christmas party.
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OR: Draco Malfoy, reformed rake simp, holiday edition
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The Grangers were static their unconventional daughter was finally getting married.
The Malfoys were relieved they would be able to re-enter society after a horrendous scandal tarnished their family name.
Draco and Hermione just wanted to get to know each other, and when they demanded to spend time alone in order to do so, no one batted an eye.
And here's where we find them: having afternoon tea at Malfoy Manor, occupied trying new delicacies.
- Language:
- English
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- 2,502
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- 1/1
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- 1
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- 78
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- 317
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- 35
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- 4,380
Bookmarked by brusque
04 Mar 2025
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Draco most certainly does not fancy Hermione, and to prove it, he's started a prank war. After he moves their dormitories opposite each other overnight, he not only begins a nasty game of one-upmanship, but the perfect close conditions to finally make their sexual tension snap.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,860
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 1
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- 28
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- 659
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- 135
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- 13,152
Bookmarked by brusque
14 Feb 2025