murdocked
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lately it's been hard by kaspbrak_kid
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
12 Sep 2021
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Summary
Eddie realizes he has hit an all-time low when he gets out of his seat to let the man standing in the aisle of the plane squeeze past him and thinks, oh, hello. This might be the closest I’ve been to someone in four months.
OR
The Losers are back together for a few days for Richie's birthday and Eddie is struggling with the intricacies of physical touch.
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- English
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by murdocked
15 Oct 2025
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His heart jumps into his throat. I’m gay, he wants to yell across the room. Just to get that out of the way, and also because he’s fucking feeling it right now. God, is he feeling it.
He just stands there, and hugs Eddie, and presses his nose against the side of Eddie’s head, and combs his fingers through Eddie’s hair a little. And it’s. It’s so fucking nice. It feels so fucking nice, and Eddie’s heart is juddering in his chest dangerously, his stomach is dipping, his knees shaking. So what, if Eddie never thought he’d ever get to have something like this? If he never thought anyone would ever touch him with so much care and warmth and tenderness? It’s just. He’s feeling a little overwhelmed, is all.
He hears Richie inhale deeply, a satisfied sound. Eddie almost makes a sound in response. He presses up on his toes instead, hugs Richie tighter, soaks in his incredible warmth. Tries to mentally beat his heart back into submission. Now probably isn’t the time, he decides, to tell people he’s gay. Not when he’s clinging a little too tight, a little too long. He doesn’t want anything to take away from this moment. God, it feels so good.Immediately, Richie is reaching out, grabbing his hand again. “What are these?” he says, and holds Eddie’s hand up to his face.
Eddie blinks. “It’s my fucking hand, Richie.”Richie just smiles at him for another second, ignoring the rest of the room just for that moment, and it makes Eddie light up inside in a completely pathetic way. And then he turns back to the group, jumping back into the conversation like he was born to be there, and Eddie is left strangely weak-kneed in the aftermath. God, he forgot what it was like to be pinned under the weight of Richie’s full attention. Maybe he shouldn’t entertain the thought of moving here after all. He isn’t sure if he’d be able to take it on a regular basis.
But he’s still fucking dizzy and disoriented just from—just from Richie touching his fucking head. Not wanting him to get hurt. Not wanting him to have to worry about getting hurt. Touching him so easily, like it’s nothing. It’s probably nothing. It doesn’t feel like it.
God, he’s not going to. Not after he spent five minutes fumbling over trying to tell Richie he’s hot, and then completely lost his mind when Richie touched his face. He can’t. He really fucking can’t. Not now.
He especially can’t when Stan returns from the water a minute later, and Richie lights up at the sight of him, tugs him down onto the blanket next to them, combs through his saltwater-wet curls with his fingers while Stan drinks some water. Not when he pulls Audra down to sit between his legs so that he can help her rub sunscreen lotion into her back, and nobody fucking blushes, or forgets how to speak, or thinks twice about the contact. Eddie can’t say anything, because he’s the only one who’s fucked up, who thinks there’s something there, who thinks they’re something special. It’s one-sided, and he. He knew that. He knows he knew that.
It just fucking sucks. The jealousy that twists in his stomach. Not that Richie is like that with other people, but that other people know how to do this. That they know how to touch and be touched and. He’s jealous that Richie knows how to be like this. With everyone, not just him. And Eddie doesn’t know if it’s because he’s gay or if it’s because he’s a fuck-up. And he can’t ask. Because he can’t say it. Because then Richie will know. And Richie can’t know.“You’re in love with me,” Eddie says, not a question this time. It’s just starting to sink in, a little. He feels breathless. “I— You’re in love with me and you told Bev? But not me?”
Richie gapes at him openly. “What?”
“I’m the fucking person involved, Rich!”“What do you mean, why not? Why the fuck do you think, Eddie? There were like a hundred ways you could react and admittedly this was not one I thought of but almost all of them were bad!”
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think of us inside, after the wedding by lovelettrs
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band)
05 Oct 2025
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Summary
Zhang Hao isn’t getting cold feet, he wants to make that very clear. He loves Hanbin, more than anything in the world actually, and he’s been waiting for this day for years. It’s just that the room is suddenly unbearably stuffy, the bodies of people around him are starting to suffocate him, and he can’t really remember the last proper meal he had.
Oh, and he hasn't seen Hanbin since yesterday.
or, it's their wedding day and they're not supposed to see each other before the ceremony. Hao freaks out, Hanbin comforts him over the phone.
Bookmarked by murdocked
14 Oct 2025
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They probably should, but Hao can’t find it in himself to think about food right now. He wishes he brought a protein bar. He needs something dry and tasteless, as any flavour would make him throw up.
That means he hasn’t seen Hanbin since their lunch yesterday, which may not seem like a long time, but he actually can’t remember the last time he went a full day without seeing Hanbin. However, If he voiced these thoughts out loud, their friends would say they’re insane and alarmingly codependent. Not untrue, but they don’t get it.
“Hasn’t stopped smiling since yesterday.” Hanbin’s mom says with a glimmer in her eyes. She loves her son so much. “Haven’t seen him this happy since I signed him up for that tutting class. You know…” and she launches into a story about young Hanbin, as Hao struggles to pay attention. He probably heard the story around a hundred times anyway, both from her and Hanbin himself.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“You’re gonna be blown away. I look really hot.” Hao tries to lighten the mood. It’s true, he looks amazing, despite the eye makeup, which is now probably smudged anyway. The suit was a bit of a splurge, but he knows it’s gonna be worth it. He picked the one Hanbin would like the most.
“You always look really hot. That’s why I proposed.”(When Hao gets back to the room and opens his bag, he sees a protein bar he knows he didn’t put there.)
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dolphin bodies by gyuriwook (unrequited_heartbreak) for my dear pampi
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band)
10 Jan 2024
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Summary
They get changed—Matthew unabashedly in the middle of the room, Gunwook with a polite request for him to avert his eyes—and then kiss more in the elevator, the real kind that breaks into startled giggles when the door dings and another guest joins them briefly. Gunwook’s hand comes down from Matthew’s neck and their fingers tangle together.
It’s impossible to control his smile. Whenever he’s with Gunwook, he’s grinning.
Series
- Part 2 of zb1 fics
Bookmarked by murdocked
20 Jun 2025
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Matthew clicks his tongue. “C’mere.”
Gunwook blinks. “How? I can’t touch the bottom.”
“Then come touch the bottom with me,” Matthew says, teasing. “Hey, that sounds like—”
“Shhh,” Gunwook says, already swimming away to the shallow side of the pool. “I can’t hear you all the way over here.”“Come on,” Matthew laughs, a bumbling recovery as he turns away and shakes his head. The few wet steps to the hot tub feel a little like running away. “Slow poke.”
“Slow poke,” he hears Gunwook echo cutely as he slips a foot into the water. It’s really hot in a way that will feel good in a moment, but there’s that second of burn. “What does that mean? Slow poke.”
“I’m calling you slow,” Matthew says, loud over the roar of the jets. Both legs go in. He holds back a sound, but can’t resist looking back at Gunwook as he hears him come up out of the water—his torso going tight, abdomen stretching flat as he twists up onto the concrete. Eyebrows furrowed prettily. “But like, in a way where I love you.”
Gunwook smiles shy but big, stepping over to Matthew. “Oh. I like it.”
“The water is really hot,” Matthew warns.
“It’s okay,” Gunwook says, waving a hand. Then he hisses loud like a cat and Matthew laughs, love spilling out of him with the sound. “Fuck, it’s really hot.”
“Yeah,” Matthew agrees, stepping down so he’s up to his waist. “If only I warned you.”
Gunwook wrinkles his nose at him. Matthew reaches out and pinches his stomach, and then slips under the water fully with a laugh so Gunwook can’t get him back. He settles at the opposite side of the pool and gets to watch Gunwook as he slowly eases in. He’s fun to watch. Long and lean and careful, a power he holds in his shoulders but rarely uses all of. Matthew’s just as strong as him, to be clear. Can carry him, too. But there’s something to be said for the fact that a lot of Gunwook’s strength seems to just come from him, not his discipline or how much he works out.
It’s his natural charm, where Matthew’s is his way of speaking. They both have things they craft and things they come with.In many ways, they’re similar, but in this one, they’re not. Matthew worries a little, when there’s something to worry about. Gunwook worries a lot. Like, a lot. About things Matthew can’t even fully wrap his head around. But love isn’t always about understanding—sometimes it’s just about being there, and Matthew can be there. Just their bodies pressed together works wonders. There’s a reason why they’re always hugging, stuck like glue.
“Handjobs are real sex,” Matthew says. His sister has thoroughly prepared him for this talk. The bullet points are burned into his brain—your first time doing anything should be with someone you trust, you can say no at any point, don’t listen if someone says it’s not that big of a deal because if you feel like it is, then it is. And handjobs count as sex. That part was important.
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how i fumbled the loml (storytime) by isawyoutrying
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band)
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
Gyuvin shuts his eyes. This cannot be real. He pinches himself once, twice, three times. One arm, other arm, stomach. He's awake, alright.
Of course his first YouTube video, where he's teary-eyed talking about how much he misses his ex, is an overnight sensation. Of course. This is exactly his kind of luck.
Five months after his breakup with Ricky, Gyuvin still isn't over him, and his friends are tired of hearing about it. Matthew's suggestion of starting a YouTube channel to rant about his feelings might just do the trick.
Series
- Part 1 of kimgyuvin52
Bookmarked by murdocked
12 Oct 2025
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“So when he told me he was leaving me because Mark Lee DMed him on Instagram, I was like-”
Matthew suddenly shoots up, blinking hard. “Mark Lee DMed Ricky?” he half-shouts, eyes wide.
Gyuvin shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he replies. “No. I was checking to see if you were actually listening.”They sit in silence for a couple of seconds, until Matthew sits up. “I have an idea.”
Gyuvin groans. While he knows Matthew means well, his ideas are often unconventional and cause more harm than good.
“It’s not a hike, is it?” He can’t resist asking.
Matthew grimaces. “Not a hike. Sorry. I’m done suggesting those,” he replies, cheeks flushing as he steals a quick glance at Gyuvin’s ankle.@puppycat3
I had a similar experience in my last relationship. We dated for 5 years and my girlfriend left me for her coworker with a bald spot. And I have, like, really nice hair. I had imagined our whole life together and I thought she wanted the same thing, but I guess not. You're gonna be okay. I’ve since found …read more"I definitely wasn't. I was expecting five views. Me, you, Gunwook, and Taerae on two devices to make me feel better.”
The vibes were less “family gets split apart as aunts and uncles take differing sides during divorce” and more “family bonds over comforting both parties during the divorce”.
When he looks back up to see if the coast is clear, he finds Ricky looking back, walking towards him. He freezes and curses himself for being 6’2.
@designedbymel
on my worst date the guy dumped spaghetti on my head. like genuinely. spaghetti on my head. in the middle of this crowded restaurant. i just started crying honestly. they offered me free spaghetti as a consolation gift but i could not stomach it so i just asked for garlic bread and got like a weeks supply@peterlee
My ex pushed me off a bridge on one of our dates
Edit: no that’s not why we broke upIs this emotional healing? He thinks. Maybe I can get over Ricky. Maybe it’s not the end of the world. Thirty cats really doesn’t sound that bad. I like cats.
"While before it was like getting stabbed continuously day in day out, now it’s like the stabber is pitying the stabee a little bit and only stabbing like six times a day. But that’s still enough to hurt. And every time the stabee kind of goes through it even more, because they’re not expecting it and they've been okay for a while, you know what I mean?”
“Not really, but go on,” Taerae replies.They take multiple selfies until they decide on one they both like. In it, Gyuvin looks at the camera, terrified, as if he has no idea how Ricky got into his bed, while Ricky smiles in the background.
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i'm feeling kinda freaky (maybe it's the club lights?) by isawyoutrying
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band)
11 Oct 2025
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Summary
She looks back up at Matthew and catches the other girl also looking back up. Gunwook minutely registers the fact that she was basically checking her out, and that Matthew seemed to be doing the same thing, and shoves it into the back of her mind, her cheeks hot.
Because getting checked out by anyone would make her nervous. And Matthew is really cute, objectively.
Gunwook breaks up with her boyfriend, gets dragged to the club by Gyuvin, chokes on two tequila sunrises, and learns a thing or two about herself.
Bookmarked by murdocked
13 Oct 2025
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“I’ve never been here. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and my friend made me come.”
Matthew raises an eyebrow. “Gotcha,” she replies, drawing out the ‘o’. “And where is this friend?”
“Flirting with some girl. Actually, by this point, probably making out with her.”
“And you’re,” Matthew looks Gunwook up and down, “standing at the bar by yourself, choking on cocktails?”
Gunwook takes a sip of said cocktail before nodding. “Guess so.”
“So, then,” she continues, tilting her head at Matthew, “what’s a girl like you doing here alone?”
Matthew grins, and Gunwook immediately knows it’s a sight she’d like to see more often. Her entire face lights up, and there’s an almost maniacal glint in her eyes as she answers.
“I killed a guy like an hour ago, and I’m hiding out here so the police don’t find me. I figure they wouldn’t come looking for me at the gay club.”
Gunwook sighs, taking another long pull on her straw. Her eyes drift down to Matthew’s arms, again. “Right,” she drawls. “Who was the guy?”
“No clue,” Matthew shrugs. “I heard he broke up with a beautiful girl, and I couldn’t let that slide, so I had to step in,” she finishes off with a goofy grin.She’s so cute in a loserish sort of way. Gunwook is kind of obsessed.
“...there were straight men at the gay club?”
Gunwook drops her arms and gapes at her. “What?”
“Uh,” Gyuvin stammers, “Okay, sorry, maybe bisexual? Like, there were men at the gay club for you… to meet?”
“No,” Gunwook blinks. “I met a girl at the gay club.”
Gyuvin’s look of confusion only deepens. “Wait, what?”
“I met a girl at the gay club. Last night. Do you remember the gay club, Gyuvin? You were there too."