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    “Would a more kinaesthetic approach suffice, then?”
    “A-are you suggesting grabbing my arse?”
    “I’m suggesting, that since this seems to be a topic of great interest to you, Snow, I can charitably offer you a lesson in the basics.”
    Snow unleashes an agitated groan. Merlin, I don’t know how the boy can manage to keep up such a froth for so long. (Though I’ve somehow managed to keep up an erection for this long, so I’m not one to speak on the matter of indecorous stamina.)
    “You’ve never offered to tutor me in anything before!” he yammers.
    “Precisely.” I curl my lip at him. “So don’t expect me to ever be so generous with my offers of elucidation ever again.”



    Baz gets caught with a dildo up his arse, which results in an awkward conversation about the benefits of anal stimulation.
    Simon is admittedly curious, and, well, so long as it's something straight blokes can enjoy too, there's no reason not to let Baz show him the ropes...right?

    Language:
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    6/6
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    27 Jul 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "I could have just taken care of it while he was in the shower. But I don’t really do that. It feels way too much like going off — the building, the overwhelming feeling. Like I’m going to explode, but not in a good way. In a terrifying, horrible, all consuming way that’s going to destroy me and everything around me. And sometimes when I get close, I do. Magic spills out.
    So I don't do that.
    Baz does though."

    Simon's uncontrollable magic has always kept him from really thinking about sex. But with Baz around, sometimes that's hard. And once he starts thinking about it, he can't stop.

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    27 Jul 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Simon got away from the Humdrum at the end of 7th year by teleporting back to Watford—which Simon thought was all well and good, until he started teleporting to Baz over the summer at the most awkward possible times.

    Language:
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    26 Jul 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Baz finds he rather likes having Simon walk in on him 'taking care of himself' and starts redirecting his plotting towards making it happen again.

    (Formerly: 5 Times Simon Walked In On Baz Wanking and 1 Time He Told Him To, literally nothing else has changed, this is the exact same fic. It just needed a title that wasn't shite. Also it ended up only vaguely a 5+1 so...)

    Language:
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    25,470
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    6/6
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    26 Jul 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Five times Simon and Baz didn't have sex ... and one time they did.

    Post-Carry On

    Language:
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    Words:
    6,364
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    26 Jul 2025