Archive of Our Own ^beta

Barry came to a halt, sliding to a stop before he banged into a building, and glanced around the immediate area.  Nothing looked familiar and he could practically hear Harry’s voice in his ear telling him that improving his speed didn’t mean taking stupid risks, reminding Barry that he was all that stood between his world and Zoom.  Like he wasn’t already well aware of that; like Zoom finding his way to their planet wasn’t his fault.

Barry tried not to panic at the unfamiliarity of the city.  He had noticed a small flash of light while he was running, felt that weird pull he had when he had gone to Earth 2, so he had a feeling he wasn’t home anymore.  Couldn’t help wondering if they hadn’t been able to close up all the breaches after all and decided he needed to move and get off the streets.  If he was on Earth 2, Zoom and his henchmen would find him soon enough and he wasn’t nearly ready to face Zoom yet. 

Barry zipped off into a store and grabbed clothes.  He had just changed when he noticed a bus flying through the air as if it had been thrown.  He was about to move to try to help when a girl flew through the air and caught the bus.  She let out a loud groan, but the bus lost its steam and she was able to settle it on the ground.  Things would’ve been fine if some weird creature that looked like it was part person, part bug, oozing slime down its appendages didn’t appear from the sky and hurtle a car at her.

Barry didn’t think, just reacted.  He sped over, catching her before she got crushed between the bus and the car.  She didn’t seem to need the help though as she punched at the car and sent it flying back at the bug-like creature.  She glanced at him, part concern and confusion before muttering, “Thanks.”

“I’ll get the people.  You can deal with your friend,” he offered.

She eyed him briefly before nodding and taking off into the air.  He ran over toward the bus, noticed the steam and started the process of racing each passenger off the bus to a safe distance.  As soon as he was done, he noticed that the girl had gotten the upper hand in the fight, but the creature seemed to move too fast for her to catch.

Barry glanced around.  He really wished he had Cisco or Harry in his ear to run the numbers with him, but he couldn’t stand by and let this thing get away with hurting people.  He also figured he would want the help if the roles were reversed and some creature was hell-bent on messing up his city.  He broke into a sprint, leapt into the air and managed to catch the creature by its leg.  It was slippery, but he had enough energy from his speed to send it hurtling toward the girl.

And she caught him easily.  He watched her bend a metal park bench and use it to create a makeshift jail of sorts.  She glanced over at him and said, “Thanks again.”  She motioned toward the road, where press were starting to appear and a crowd had gathered.  Sirens could be heard in the distance and she said, “If you’re trying to keep a low profile, you might want to get out of here.”

He rolled his eyes and said, “Think low profile is out.”

“If you stick around, people will want to question you,” the girl said.

Barry nodded and momentarily debated what to do.  It wouldn’t be hard to zip away since the only person who could probably catch him was the woman telling him to leave.  But he knew he didn’t belong here – pretty sure Cisco would’ve talked non-stop about the flying girl that could catch busses with her bare hands – and if he wanted to get home, he was going to need help.  Likely from someone like this girl.  He said, “I’ve got nowhere to go and could probably use some help with that.”

The girl approached and Barry got a good look at her.  Long blonde hair, waving in the wind, bright eyes that seemed to sparkle, like she came alive when she was doing this type of work, and a tentative smile on her face.  She crossed her arms and asked, “Who are you?”

“The Flash.  Or…is there a Flash here…wherever I am...”

She arched an eyebrow.  “Wherever you are?  What does that mean?”

“Really long story.  Not opposed to sharing it with you, but this doesn’t seem like the place.”

“The DEO will be here soon to secure the prisoner and the place.  They might be able to help you.”

“The DEO?”

“Department of Extranormal Operations.”

“I guess I would fit into that category, but it sounds ominous and places like that tend to-“

“-I get it, but it’s okay,” she replied, holding her hands up.  She was still looking at him like he was an experiment she was trying to wrap her brain around.  She stepped closer and said softly, “My sister works there and so do friends…people I trust with my secrets and life…and you helped me so…”

“So trust them?” Barry finished with a small smile.

She grinned at him and said, “Something like that.”

**

Kara still wasn’t sure what to make of the man sitting in the conference room across from her.  Alex had told her she could go, that she didn’t have to stick around, and her phone was lighting up with messages from Kat, probably wondering where she was.  She had considered it, but she was curious about the man.  He seemed to be on the level, willing to cooperate with the DEO.  When Hank, Alex and other agents had swooped in and carted him off, he hadn’t put up much of a fight and Kara had a feeling he could have if he wanted to.

She hadn’t been privy to the conversation, but she had seen the flummoxed look on Hank’s face as he had exited the conference room.  Hank was barking out orders, running around the compound, and her sister was off dealing with possible scenarios involving the potential danger of more creatures like today showing up.  The man was alone and Kara had decided to sit down and keep the man company for a little while.  She still remembered how overwhelmed she had felt the first time she had come to the DEO compound. 

Kara could also admit that she was curious about the guy – apprehensive and excited about what it meant for there to be others like her who weren’t completely crazy.  Not that she could be sure he wasn’t certifiably insane, but he didn’t appear to be.  In fact, in regular clothes he didn’t look like much, just any random guy her age that she might meet anywhere. 

He caught her staring and smiled at her before his eyes darted around the place.  He tapped nervously on the table and said, “This is an interesting place you’ve got, Supergirl.”

“I work with the DEO to help them deal with threats.  It’s not my headquarters.”

“We’ve all got them,” he said with a shrug, which only made Kara more curious about the guy.  She wanted to demand answers.  She wanted to know where he came from.  None of the aliens she had encountered had abilities like his.  She wondered how he got there and how he was feeling about it.  She couldn’t read him, unsure if he was just that good at hiding his panic or he didn’t care.  And what kind of person wouldn’t care that they couldn’t go home? 

Kara knew better than anyone than to let her guard down, but he had helped her out there – put himself on the line when he didn’t have to – and there was something about him that she trusted.  As many questions as she had, she didn’t doubt that he was one of the good guys, and this was probably why her sister yelled at her about being too trusting.  She replied, “You’ve got a headquarters?”

He met her gaze and said, “Home base probably works better.  Just easier that way.”  He smiled at her and added, “I promise I’m not here to cause trouble.  I just want to get home.”

“Alex said they clocked you going-“

“-really fast?”

“Impossibly fast.”

“Like I told your friends.I’m the Flash, fastest man alive.  At least where I come from.”

Kara leaned forward and asked, “And where do you come from?”

“Central City.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Because it doesn’t exist on this earth from what I was able to put together from the limited computer access you guys gave me,” he replied.  He ran his fingers through his hair and said, “I knew something went haywire when I was running, but I haven’t been able to figure out what exactly I did to open a hole to another universe.”

“Another universe?”

“You’re from another planet and you don’t believe in the multiverse?”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t believe you,” Kara countered.

“It’s surprisingly easy to create a tear, especially if you can move at the speeds that I do.  I did it before though I never went through it like this.”

“How?”

“That’s a long story, but I need to find a way back to my world.  I left my friends, my city, without protection against a really bad guy.”

“If anyone can help you, it’ll be the DEO.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Is there a National City on your earth?”

“Yeah, but last time I checked there were no flying beautiful kick-ass superheroes.  I’d notice something like that,” he replied.

She felt her cheeks flush.  Most of the time when she was being Supergirl, she felt like she could handle anything.  Even when she was in way over her head or had no idea how to react…but the Flash was making her feel a lot more like Kara at the moment.  The feeling seemed to be mutual though because he looked almost surprised by his last comment, ducking his head and running his hand over his face.

Kara couldn’t fight back the smile on her face, especially when she heard him muttering under his breath, and said, “It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who randomly spurts out commentary from time to time.”

He smiled back at her, a huge grin that seemed to light up his whole face, and said, “Not that it’s not true, but-“

“-take the out, Flash,” Kara replied. 

He nodded and said, “I really need to find a way home as soon as possible.”

“Could we be messing things up with you here?”

“No.  It’s not like time travel.  I just don’t belong here.  Thankfully, I didn’t go through a breach to Earth 2 with Zoom waiting on the other end.  And luckily, this isn’t a world where the actual Earth is too different for me to survive.  That would suck.”

“Have you been to worlds like that?”

“No, but I’m guessing they exist.  The only other Earth I’ve had experience with so far is mostly like ours…just really small differences.”

“And you went there by accident too?”

“Sort of?  Long story.”

Kara sat back in her chair and asked, “What if we can’t get you home, Flash?”

He crossed his arms and answered, “I’m not ready to accept that outcome yet, Supergirl.”

**

Barry wasn’t sure what to expect after his debriefing with Hank, or J’onn depending on who was talking to him, but he really wanted to get home.  He missed his friends and his family.  He had no idea how much time had passed on his world, but even eight hours was longer than he was ever out of contact with people.  They were probably freaking out at this point about where he had disappeared to, especially with everything going on.

He tried not to think about it too much because it lead to thoughts of never getting home again.  He remembered that damn article in the Reverse Flash’s lair that showed him disappearing off the face of the earth and he couldn’t let that happen.  He had to get home.  Zoom wasn’t going to stop trying to find a way to get back to Central City and Barry had to be there to stop him.  Not that Barry thought he would be able to do it yet.  He still wasn’t anywhere near fast enough and wasn’t sure how to get there.  Even with how fast he had managed to go to end up here, it seemed like nothing compared to Zoom.

He definitely wasn’t expecting Supergirl to grab him like he weighed two pounds, hoist him into her arms and fly him off with her.  She didn’t say anything, simply grinned at him when he couldn’t contain the smile on his face at charging through the air like this.  It reminded him of when he was running without any thoughts or concerns bogging down his brain.  She landed in the middle of the desert, not far from where he had appeared, and started to scan the area.

He watched her and she said, “Didn’t think it would work, but I was checking to see if maybe there was something I could spot so we could get you home.”

“That guy Hank said they would work on it.”

“You can trust him.”

Barry didn’t want to get into his constant battle of late on how he tended to trust too easily and it kept backfiring in his face.  He also didn’t want to burn the only bridge he had on this world, so he said, “I appreciate it, but I’m gonna do some research on my own.”

The girl nodded and stepped closer to him.  She smiled and said, “I’m Kara, by the way.  Kara Danvers.”

“Danvers?  Like-“

“-Alex is my sister.”

Barry nodded and extended his hand to Kara.  She looked at it for a second before giving him a vigorous hand shake.  He said, “I’m Barry Allen.”

“Nice to meet you officially, Barry.  Sorry I didn’t introduced myself sooner but-”

“-but not everyone knows your identity.  I get it.”

“Yeah.  Some of the people at DEO know, but I mostly-“

Barry held up his hand and interrupted, “-I understand, Kara.  I don’t exactly advertise that I’m the Flash to people.  It took almost a year for me to tell my best friend.  I wanted to, but I didn’t want her put in danger because of me.”  Barry walked to the edge of the clearing and sat on a boulder.  He looked at her like she was a problem to solve and went on, “Our lives aren’t always easy to explain away.”

Kara moved closer to him and said, “I’m lucky, I guess.  My sister and my best friend have known since I decided to become Supergirl.  It’s hard enough thinking up excuses when I need to make a quick exit from work or a date.”

Barry nodded and chuckled.  He said, “People just think I’m late for everything.”

“How did you get so fast?” she asked, removing the last of the distance between them and leaning against a taller rock next to him. 

“It was a freak accident.  One minute I’m staring out the window of my lab and next thing I know, nine months had passed.  I ended up in a coma and so much had changed that…the speed was almost a relief.  Terrified me a little the first time I started randomly going super-fast and crashing into things, but I realized it could give me a way to help people and make a difference.  I could make sure other people didn’t suffer a loss like I did when I was a kid.”

“You lost someone?”

“My mother was murdered,” Barry answered, not offering any further information.  He didn’t want to get into that whole story again.  Wasn’t ready to ponder if his mother was just the first in a long list of people he was destined to love and lose.

Kara didn’t say anything at first, but then her hand rested on his arm and she said, “I’m sorry, Barry.”

Barry could tell that not only did she mean it, but she seemed to get it.  She didn’t go into how it was meant to be or any other clichés.  She didn’t push him for more information or look at him like he was a broken bird that needed to be fixed.  It was strange because Barry didn’t feel like he had to explain things to her and he’d only ever felt like that with Iris in the past.

Barry said, “I figured I was given these abilities for a reason and I might as well use them to do some good.  So the Flash was born.  And I was lucky to have a few people to help me along the way.”

“Well, you helped me out today and I appreciated it.” 

Barry chuckled and said, “Yeah, it didn’t really look like you needed my help though.”

Kara shrugged and replied, “I was able to focus on the alien because you got the civilians to safety.Made things a lot easier for me.”  She looked him over and asked, “You hungry?  I’m always hungry after saving the day and sitting through debriefings at DEO.”

Barry rubbed his hand over his stomach and responded, “I’m starving.”

“You can crash at my place until we get you home.  They have pizza where you’re from?”

“I hope to never stumble upon a world where pizza does not exist.  That’s just crazy talk, Kara,” Barry shuddered.

“The city is about a hundred miles east of here.  Wanna show off your powers a little?  Or can you not-“

Barry didn’t wait for her to finish before he tugged Kara into his arms, ignoring the weird flutter in his chest, and took off running.  He stopped on the outskirts of the same park where he had stumbled upon her earlier that day.  She giggled as he set her feet down on the ground and she said, “Keep an eye out for me for a second, will you?”

He nodded and she disappeared behind a tree for a minute, reappearing in a flowery dress, her hair up in a bun and wearing glasses.  She noticed him staring and said, “No one pays the shy, clumsy girl in glasses any attention.  Easier to blend in.”

“Kara, you’re a lot of things, but unnoticeable wouldn’t be one of them,” Barry replied as his eyes took in the curves of her body in the dress or the way a few strands of hair still fell into her face and she struggled to push them back.  He immediately ducked his head because that was not…he didn’t normally talk like that to anyone, let alone a woman.  He could feel his face burning in embarrassment and couldn’t help but berate himself for being an idiot.  He was stuck in another universe and still he didn’t know how to talk to women. 

Kara smiled at him as her cheeks reddened.  She cleared her throat and she said, “I need to stop by the office first, but then we can pick up some pizza and watch some television.  We can exchange some stories.  I’ve tried to talk to my cousin a bit, but he doesn’t really like to get into everything he does.  I can’t figure out if it’s just so business-as-usual to him by now or if he really just wants to keep that separate from his regular life.”

“Your cousin-“

“-Superman.”

“And you’re-“

“-Supergirl.  Yeah,” Kara replied.  Barry couldn’t help the grin and she sighed.  “I know, okay?  I wasn’t a hundred percent sold on the idea, but it stuck and, well, it fits.  And it helped people to trust me more early on, knowing I was a friend of Superman’s…I’ve gotten used to it.”

“Fair enough.”

“Are there others like us where you’re from?”

“A few.  I’m friends with the Arrow and his group.  We’ve teamed up a few times, but Oliver will only tolerate so much teamwork and…” Barry paused, realizing that if there was an Arrow here and it was Oliver, he might have just outed him.  And if this Oliver was anything like the one on Barry’s earth…that might not be a pleasant conversation.  At least his Oliver knew Barry and seemed to actual consider him a friend whereas this Oliver would just likely shoot him full of arrows.  Barry asked, “Do you have an Arrow?”

“Not that I’ve heard of and I work in media, so I’m sure I would have,” Kara responded.  She started to walk off and called over her shoulder, “Besides, I wouldn’t say anything.Us heroes need to stick together, right?”

“Yeah.  Probably should form a club or something.”

Kara laughed and said, “Games of who-has-the-best-powers and Netflix binging.”

“My current team and I tend to end up at the karaoke bar a lot lately,” Barry said.  He stopped suddenly as it hit him.  He liked Kara.  She was funny and kind and beautiful…but he didn’t belong here.  This wasn’t his home.  He wanted to listen to Cisco ramble on at him about how if they were the cast of Firefly, which role each of them would be.  He wanted to feel Cait’s hand on his shoulder while she chided him about taking a stupid risk.  And he wanted to be able to just look across the room and know that Iris was well aware of what he was feeling and thinking. 

Lately, his and Iris’s relationship had looked like it might move in a direction he had hoped for over the years, but had stopped thinking was possible.  And now he was stuck in another world where there was a chance Iris West didn’t exist, at least not one he would know.

“You okay, Barry?” Kara asked, turning back to look at him from where she stood.  When he didn’t respond, she walked back over to him.  “What’s wrong?”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and replied, “Not sure.”

“It’s hitting you, huh?”

“Sort of.”

“We’ll do everything we can to get you home.  There has to be a way, right?  Just figure out what you did in the first place and do it again in reverse?”

“Right, but-“

“-we’ll deal with it.  I realize it’s got to be overwhelming, but you’re not alone.  I’ll help you in any way that I can,” Kara said.  She walked back over to him, grabbed his hand, and yanked him down the path, nearly causing him to stumble on his feet.  She went on, “Sorry.  I’m usually more careful with how hard-“

“-I’m not that easy to break, Kara.  It’s fine,” Barry replied.

She smiled at him and pulled him again.  She said, “Good because I’m famished.  And I really need a good shower in the near future because that thing was slimy and stunk.”

“It was rather slimy,” Barry replied, allowing himself to be led out of the park.

**

One of the things Kara enjoyed about spending time with Barry Allen was that she felt completely able to be herself.  It wasn’t that Winn and Jimmy didn’t care about her or even that they set out to make her feel different, but there was something about being with someone where she wasn’t afraid of everything inside her.  Barry understood what she was going through because they had been through similar experiences.  She wasn’t scared she’d accidentally hurt Barry – the one time she nearly sent him hurtling out a window during a sparring session, he’d simply sped out of the way and come right back at her.  He could give as much as he could take and she liked that.

It was also pretty cool to find herself surrounded by a stack of pizza boxes, bickering over who could eat more calories in a single sitting and laughing over the latest botched criminal encounter they had handled that day.  The news, or specifically, Kat had taken a great interest in Supergirl’s sidekick.  Kara made sure to not-so-subtly suggest the name and the Flash was born here in her world. 

“You really ate a hundred tacos in one sitting?” Kara asked, wiping the grease from her mouth.

“Yeah.  Joe started to complain the food bill was getting atrocious, but he never complained when I was willing to run four hundred miles to pick up his favorite foods,” Barry replied.  He pointed at the pizza box and said, “He would love this mushroom pizza.”

Kara wrinkled her nose and said, “Can’t believe you put vegetables on a pizza.”

“It’s mushrooms.”

“It’s just wrong.”

“No, wrong was a few years ago where Joe insisted on getting anchovies all the time.  It was disgusting.  Iris and I used to…” Barry paused and got that look in his eye she had come to understand over the last week.  The one that meant that he was thinking of home and the people he had left behind.

Kara reached out and covered his hand with her own.  She said tenderly, “We’ll get you home, Barry.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish this world had a Harrison Wells that I could find.”

“Did you ask Hank?”

“Yeah, nothing in any of your databases that he could locate.  It’s funny.  This world is a lot different from mine in some ways, but it’s also not.”

“I came from a different planet when I was thirteen and I still feel that way sometimes,” Kara admitted.

“That had to be hard.”

“Wasn’t easy, but I was pretty lucky.  I had people who loved me.  The Danvers took me in, protected me, and never made me feel like I couldn’t be sad about losing what I left behind,” Kara shared.  She ducked her head, playing with a loose string of cheese from her slice, winding it around her finger, and added, “I think if my parents could have picked people to help me, the Danvers would’ve been just the type they would’ve wanted.”

When Kara looked up, Barry was watching her carefully.  He smiled and said, “It’s funny, ya know.  Terrible things happen and still some good can come out of it.  It’s part of what has always kept me going.  It doesn’t make the losses easier, but…my mom was murdered and my father went to jail for a crime he didn’t commit.  I hated it – still hate it as much as I’ve tried to accept it – but I also can’t imagine having grown up without Joe around.”

“He took you in?”

“Yeah.  Iris was-is-my best friend and I guess Joe wanted to help me.  It’s weird.  We’ve talked so much about that time and what I went through, but I really don’t know what compelled him to take me in and raise me.  I didn’t make it easy on him early on either, but he never…he’s always had my back,” Barry replied.  He crumpled up his napkin and dumped in on his plate as he sighed.  “He’s probably worried.  They’re all probably worried about me.”

“Just think of the fun stories involving slimy aliens and inept jewel thieves that you’ll have to tell when you get home,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Or about the beautiful girl that tossed me over her shoulder and flew me off into the night sky,” Barry offered, grinning.

Kara rolled her eyes and said, “Gotta make it sound dramatic too.   Like I saved you from yourself or something.”

Barry chuckled, but then his face twisted into a serious expression again.  He reached out to brush her hair back off her face and said, “Kara, I’m pretty sure you have saved me.  I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t found you that day.”

Kara found herself wanting to lean into Barry’s touch.  It was so easy with him that sometimes she forgot what a terrible idea her heart was contemplating.  It was infatuation.  Barry was different from anyone else she had met and he understood her and…maybe it was so easy with him because he was leaving.  Kara was sure some therapist could have a field day with her.  She couldn’t stop herself from taking his hand and squeezing it.  She said, “You found me.  Helped me save a lot of people.  Least I could do was offer up my couch until we can get you home.”

**

Barry was beginning to think he was cursed.  To constantly love and lose.   Hours had turned into days and days had turned into weeks…and he was no closer to getting home than he was when he had ended up on this world. 

It must’ve shown on Barry’s face – Kara did tell him that he sometimes resembled a kicked puppy – because he found everyone was attempting really hard to cheer him up.  The problem with the encouragement and sympathy was that he wasn’t sure he deserved it.  He liked spending time in National City, working and hanging out with Kara, probably more than was healthy.

He couldn’t figure out if he was decidedly not dealing with the loss of his home world because it was overwhelming or he wasn’t nearly as miserable as he should have been.  And what did that say about him?  How much had his experiences as the Flash changed him that a huge upheaval in his life barely caused him to bat an eye?

And that just made him miss home more, specifically being able to turn to Joe and get the advice he needed.  Even when Barry didn’t ask for it (and hated him for being right), Joe was there to help him find his way.  How was he supposed to do this on his own?

Barry nearly jumped out of the chair he was swiveling around in when Hank appeared in the doorway.  Hank had his normal grimace as he said, “Stop fidgeting, Allen.”

Barry dropped his pen and turned his chair completely around.  Hank lifted an eyebrow and Barry replied, “I’ve been reviewing the compound residue you found, but I can’t find anything like it anywhere.  Definitely not something I’ve encountered before so I’m not sure how to help you move forward in identifying what it is.”

“We’ll just add it to the growing list of unidentified evidence for later.  Occasionally we catch a break down the line.”

“Okay.”

“I appreciate the help you provided yesterday on that alien parasite.”

“Might as well help while I’m here.”

Hank crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Barry.  After a moment, he stepped into the small office and said, “Look, Allen, I understand what it’s like to be all that’s left of a world you can’t return to.”

“Okay…” Barry replied, unsure he wanted to have this conversation.

“And so does Kara.”

He nodded and said, “I know that.  She’s been a good friend to me.”

Hank stared at him like he was particularly stupid and responded, “You’ve been good for her too.  You complement each other well out in the field.”

“Thanks?”

Hank waved him off and said, “You’ve proven yourself to be a valuable asset and not just because of your speed.  We could set you up with a job and you could continue to work with Supergirl.”

Barry nodded, finally understanding what Hank was telling him.  Barry could give up on trying to return to his Earth and make the choice to stay here.  He and Kara did work really well together considering how new it was.  He found that he could look over at her and just seem to know what she wanted to do.  And she never seemed to doubt him when he took the lead.  It was weird, like one of those books Iris used to read about how you could look at someone and just know them.  Barry always thought it was ridiculous, hardly scientific or likely, but there was a pull he felt to Kara that he couldn’t explain away. 

Barry couldn’t help but wonder what it said about him that the first woman outside of Iris that he had ever felt truly close to was an alien on another universe’s version of Earth.  It made his head hurt to think about.

Every day he found himself getting closer to Kara, caring more and more about her…and he enjoyed it.  Time was flying by each day and when he was with her, working to stop bad guys or hanging out watching the weird shows she loved, there was nowhere else he wanted to be.

The guilt ripped him up because he should’ve been fighting harder to get home.  People were counting on him and he couldn’t leave his city unprotected.  This world had its heroes, and he couldn’t leave Central City to Zoom’s machinations.  He had to get home.

But once he was home, he wouldn’t get to see Kara.  Either way he lost in this scenario. 

“I’m not saying you give up on getting home.”

“I get it, Hank.”

“Until we can pull it off, I think your best bet is to make a life for yourself here.”

“Not yet.”

“Barry-“ Hank began, but stopped when he met Barry’s gaze.

“-You’re not wrong, but it hasn’t been that long.  There are still a few more things I want to try and…I can’t just give up on home.  For you and Kara…it was different.  Your homes were gone.  Mine is still out there.” Barry pleaded for the other man to understand.  He wasn’t ready to set down roots; wasn’t ready to admit that he might never make it back.

Hank studied him closely before nodding.  “I’ll take another look through more of the alien technology we’ve managed to collect and see if any of it could be used to harness a wormhole of sorts.  In the meantime, I had the team put together a suitcase of clothes.  I’m getting really sick of seeing you in that same tee-shirt.”

“Thank you for everything.”

**

Kara was trying to pay attention as the judges lambasted the latest contestant on the television, but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at Barry again.  He had been quieter than usual, hadn’t even made a comment when she put on reality television, and was now staring off into space.  Kara felt that familiar tug as a mix of emotions coursed through her.  She found herself getting more and more attached to Barry and hated herself for it.  She wanted him to get home, for him to be happy, but she also wanted to keep him here with her.  In any moment, she could range from feeling elated to pissed off at herself and sad for Barry. 

It had been almost three weeks and she could see Barry was getting more desperate and worried about getting home.  She wished there was more that she could do to help him.  Her understanding of a lot of the science was limited and her powers seemed useless.  She wasn’t used to feeling powerless and unable to help the people she cared about.

And she still didn’t know what to make of the fact that she cared so much about Barry Allen.  She caught herself staring at him a lot, getting a weird ache in her chest when he would look up at her and smile in her direction.  It was nothing like what she expected, not like how it used to be with Jimmy.  She didn’t feel like she had to prove her worth with Barry, and she knew that wasn’t fair to Jimmy and their weird dynamic, but it was true all the same. 

A part of her wanted to hold onto Barry and keep him there with her.  He fit in so well, like he was meant to be here, but she knew how selfish that made her.   Kara wanted to be able to want for him to get home because she knew what that would mean to him – could imagine what it would feel like to have that hope to go home to Krypton and her long-gone family – but she could also admit that she wasn’t ready to except the reality of him leaving.

And she hated how happy she was when every attempt to get him home had failed. 

Luckily, Barry hadn’t seemed to figure that out because he’d probably never talk to her again.  It was the last thing she wanted.  It was so nice to have someone in her life that just got it – understood the highs and lows of being different from everyone else – and she could admit that the more time she spent with him.

At least she could admit it to herself.  Although Winn kept giving her that look these days that said he wasn’t stupid like he used to do when conversations turned to Jimmy.  And Alex always knew her inside-and-out no matter how much Kara tried to shut it down.  In fact, if Kara was being honest, it was because Alex kept forcing the matter than Kara was able to acknowledge any of these feelings swirling around inside of her.

“Why do you always fall for the guys that aren’t available?” Alex had asked her the other night while Barry was out following up on some potential lead.

“What are you talking about?”

Alex had rolled her eyes and replied, “This is me.  I know you, Kara.”  Alex waved her hand at Kara and went on, “That is your I’m-totally-smitten face.  It wasn’t that long ago that the look was reserved for Jimmy Olsen.  And while I’m glad you’re ready to move on from Jimmy since he has a girlfriend that he has no plans of breaking up with, I was hoping you’d seek out a romance with someone from our universe.”

“I’m not-“

“-Kara, do not-“

“-and it’s not like that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Sometimes you just click with someone and…”

“Uh-huh.”

Kara had hit Alex with one of her throw pillows and said, “Stop it.”

Thankfully her sister had actually dropped the subject, though Kara was well aware that the only person she appeared to be fooling was Barry Allen.  She had started to hate going to the DEO after she and Barry would thwart a catastrophe because her sister would just watch her and sigh.  It was making her antsy and Kara wanted to remain willfully ignorant of all of these emotions swirling around her.  It was stupid.  It was a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

She grabbed a blanket and draped it across her legs as she glanced over at Barry again.  His eyes were focused on the television, but he wasn’t really paying attention.  She turned her gaze back to the show, but she couldn’t concentrate on anything but Barry.  She wanted to be there for him.  Just once she wanted to throw caution to the wind and do something for herself, claim something as her own.

It was incredibly selfish and stupid because she knew that Barry had to go home to his Earth and she had to help him.  It would only make it that much more complicated to give an actual voice to everything she was feeling.

Too bad her heart and brain were at odds.  She kept wondering what it would be like to kiss Barry – how would his lips feel against hers, did he taste like those cinnamon pastries he loved to scarf down all the time?  She had caught herself tracking the number of times Barry offered her that soft smile and found herself seeking it out.  Even with her feelings for Jimmy, she had never allowed herself to entertain ridiculous notions of romance.  Kara wasn’t the giggly schoolgirl type…and she was never sure if she had allowed this because Barry was different or because she knew it could never last.

And it wouldn’t last. 

But it was becoming much harder to ignore all of this.  It was getting complicated, at least in her head, especially with him still crashing on her couch and looking at her like she mattered. 

“Did you hear someone in distress?”

Kara glanced over to see Barry had moved closer to her on the sofa and was watching her carefully.  “What?”

“You’ve got that look on your face.  The one I notice you get when you think someone needs saving.”

Kara stared at him.  “I have a look?”  Barry nodded and she grabbed her glass of water, guzzling it down.  “I did not know that.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Barry replied.  He grabbed the edge of her blanket and tucked himself underneath it, moving further into her personal space.  She could feel his warmth as he said, “So Hank said I could stay at one of the DEO barracks until we figure this mess out or get me situated here.”

“Situated here?”

“He thinks I need to embrace life on this world.”

Kara tried to keep her face neutral, fighting back the small glimmer of hope she was feeling that was quickly followed with frustration at herself.  What was wrong with her?  His whole world was gone and she was getting excited about what it meant to her.  She sighed and rested her hand on his leg before responding, “Barry…”  What she planned to say evaporated from her head when he looked over at her, seeming so broken and unsure, and she ended up saying, “Just do what you need to do.  No one will blame you.”

Barry shrugged.  “Not sure what that is.  Hank’s not completely wrong about things and I can’t keep mooching off of you and living on your couch.”

“I’m that bad of a roommate that you want to live at the DEO?” she replied, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.  It was probably the smart call for both of them, a way to put some space between them and ease into their separation.  She hated smart calls and doing the right thing sometimes.  She wasn’t sure she could do it anyway. 

“No, of course not, but I’m kinda…you offered me a place to stay when you thought it would be a day or two.  It’s been three weeks and you’ve got your own life to live.”

“You’re my friend, Barry.  You have a place to stay for as long as you need it,” Kara said.

He smiled at her and nudged her in the side.  He said, “I appreciate it, Supergirl.”

“Whatever, Flash,” she replied.  She looked at him, could see so much sadness that he was trying to hide, and she asked, “Any progress?”

“It’s not looking good.  Whatever tear I created either didn’t last or fixed itself already.”

“Create a new one then.”

“That’s…I don’t even know how I did it, but I can’t risk unraveling this universe or my own.  I thought about trying to find a way to get a message back to my world because maybe Cisco could work something out.  He’s got these abilities and…”  She watched him rub a hand over his face, frustration radiating off him.  “Right now my only hope is that he was able to Vibe me and at least knows I’m alive.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied gently.

“I’m sorry too.  I’m not trying to seem ungrateful for all you and the others have done to help me-“

“-You don’t-“

“-and I’m not…” Barry paused and swallowed thickly. 

“Not what?”

“I’m not ready to give up on going home.”

“No one thinks you would be,” Kara offered, doing her best to believe her own words.  She wanted Barry to be happy and she wouldn’t wish such a huge loss on anyone, but she liked having him around.  She liked imagining him working for the DEO, fighting by her side and hanging out afterward without having to talk too much about it.

“A part of me thinks that this might have always been my destiny.  Fighting with you…we’re a good team and I like being here, especially after so much has been a mess back on my world…and I start to think about what Gideon showed me and it’s all messing with my head.”

“Who’s Gideon and what did he show you?”

“Gideon is an AI that I apparently create in the future.  Remember how I told you about the Reverse Flash traveling back in time to kill me and getting stuck?  Well, we found Gideon and it had this newspaper article from the future.  In the article, I had gone missing and never returned.”

Kara had no idea what to say.  Despite all the crazy stuff she saw on a daily basis, she wasn’t sure how to process any of this information and definitely wasn’t ready to examine what it might mean.  So instead she said, “That’s different.”

“It was definitely weird, but it was ten years away at the time and I had other things to deal with.  Hadn’t really thought about it much – kinda assumed that with everything that happened it, that future had changed.  But it popped up in my head after I got here and I’ve been thinking a bit about it.  I keep wondering if maybe I always ended up here, but somehow changed when it happened,” Barry replied.  He clutched his head and sighed, “And I’m grasping at straws right now.”

She reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder.  She said, “Of course you are.  It’s a scary thing to find yourself in a foreign place on your own.”

“At least I still have my powers.  At least I’m not completely useless.”

“You’re not useless, Barry,” Kara said, her heart aching to soothe his pain.  He shrugged and she wasn’t sure what possessed her, but she reached out, cupped her hand behind his neck and pulled him into a kiss.  She paused when she realized what she was doing, but then Barry’s hands were tangling in her hair as he deepened the kiss.  Kara slid closer to him, never breaking contact, and allowing herself to get lost in the moment for a few fleeting seconds. 

It was strange for Kara because she felt no need to hold back with him, wasn’t afraid of hurting him, and just allowed herself to get lost in the heat of his mouth and the taste of his kiss, stopping only to catch her breath.  Barry’s eyes searched hers and she could see vulnerability and worry in his eyes that made her want to hold onto him even tighter.  She smiled at him tenderly, caressing his cheek.  He grinned at her and said, “Kara.”

There was so much emotion in his words that she couldn’t stop herself from sliding her hands down his chest and saying, “I know what I’m doing.”

He kissed her again, more softly – almost regretfully, but didn’t try to move things forward.  He said, “This might not be fair to you.  Or to me.  You’re like the perfect woman, but you don’t exist on my world.”

She leaned back and said, “If you don’t want-“

“-I want.  Believe me, I want.”

“Then we’re done talking,” she said.  She could see a mix of tenderness and desire in Barry’s expression that left her heart thrumming in her chest.  She grinned and kissed him again, taking her time with it and trying to say everything she didn’t know how to articulate.

When they pulled back, Barry rested his forehead on her shoulder, and she ran her fingers through his hair.  She knew exactly what she wanted and, in that moment, she was sure that it was the right thing.  She stood up and he watched her carefully as she offered him her hand.  He stared at it for a second before lacing their fingers together and standing up too.  She gave him a little tug and said, “Let’s move this to the bedroom.”

**

Barry ran his fingers through Kara’s hair and watched her sleep.  It had been six weeks– a whole month and a half – since he had appeared in this world and he was no closer to getting home than he was then.  He could admit that he hadn’t been trying very hard the past couple of weeks since his relationship with Kara had moved from friends to whatever they were now.  He wasn’t sure what to think or do about that.

He couldn’t leave his family and friends – his world – unprotected.

He couldn’t imagine choosing to walk away from Kara at this point either.

Not that he had any idea if she would even want him to stay permanently if she had a choice.  Barry knew Kara would never ask that of him.  But Barry was also well aware that has much as Kara said she was fine with keeping this thing between them light and easy, it didn’t seem to be who she was.  He didn’t want to take advantage of her, but he couldn’t imagine going back to not having this thing between them.

The last thing Barry wanted to do was hurt Kara and not just because both her sister and Winn had threatened harm to various body parts if Barry hurt Kara.

But someone was gonna get hurt in this situation – him, Kara, his world – and that was why he tried to avoid acknowledging the emotions that Kara sparked in him.  Except she was damn persuasive and beautiful and unlike anyone he had ever met before.  And he wanted to tell her exactly what she meant to him – the way her smile could just make him feel better no matter what was happening or how just holding her hand grounded him in ways he never expected.  Barry was pretty sure he was completely in love with Kara, but he kept telling himself not to go there.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Kara grumbled, turning toward him and resting her head on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head.  “Can’t help myself.”

She glanced up at him and sighed.  She shifted closer and said quietly, “Stop beating yourself up.”

“I’m not.”

“Good, because I’m an adult and I’ve gone into this with my eyes wide open, Barry Allen.”

“Okay,” he replied.  She arched her eyebrow and he bent down to kiss her.  When he pulled away, Kara shifted so that they were sitting shoulder to shoulder.  She leaned against him and he draped his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer.  He said, “I like being here, Kara, especially with you.  I like fighting bad guys together and watching movies and tumbling into bed together after a long day.”

“But it’s not home.”

Barry sighed.  “Worse, it’s starting to feel like it could be home and I don’t know what to think about that.  Not that I’m sure I have much of a choice.  No one has come right out and said it, but I don’t think anyone believes there is a way to get me back to my world.  I’m not nearly as upset about that as I should be.  And I can’t help but wonder if that’s making me not search out the answer to the problem enough.”

Kara sat up and looked over at him.  She leaned in and kissed him sweetly, brushing her fingers along his jaw.  She shook her head fondly and said, “You don’t have to feel guilty for not being miserable while you’re stuck here.”

“Stop that.”  Barry motioned between them and continued, “This isn’t some…I’m not just using you to kill time.  I care about you.”

“I know you do.  I care about you too.”

“We are literally from different worlds and not just because you were born on another planet.  And that figures.  I finally meet a woman that’s perfect for me and…it’s like I have to choose between my family and you.”

“I’d never-“

“-I know that too, Kara.”

She took his hand and intertwined their fingers.  She said, “After that first night together, I decided that I was just going to go with it.  Not overthink it or worry about it or try to figure out all the answers.  This thing between us is so easy and I like it – like us – and no matter how this turns out, I’m not going to regret that decision.”

Barry bracketed Kara’s head and stole a kiss.  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said quietly, pulling back enough that he could catch Kara’s eye.  “As fast as I go sometimes I feel like I’m not always moving forward and I’m not sure that’s fair to you, Kara.”

“You aren’t hurting me or taking advantage of me, Barry,” Kara responded, her fingers running up and down Barry’s arm.  She regarded Barry before continuing, “I know this is an unusual situation, but most things in my life are pretty strange at times, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.  This thing…you…make me happy.”

“But-“

“I’m not a damsel in distress that needs saving,” she chastised him.  “I’m fully capable of taking care of myself and making my own choices.  I want you for as long as I can have you, okay?”

He brushed the hair back off her face and said, “Definitely not some damsel…you saved me.”

She kissed him and every thought left his mind except getting closer to her.  He knew this didn’t solve the issue.  He was still stuck between two worlds and he wasn’t sure he belonged in either of them.  But this thing with Kara…it was like she said – he wanted it for as long as he could have it. 

“Stop…thinking…” Kara advised, pulling him down on top of her and doing that thing with her tongue that made every single thing but her fade from his mind.

**

“You’re completely gone, Kara, and I’m worried,” Alex said without preamble as she sat down across from her at the table and handed over a cup of coffee to her sister.

Kara rolled her eyes and said, “Do me a favor and stop threatening Barry, okay?  He gets this look in his eye like he’s going to break my heart and-“

“-he is gonna break your heart.”

“Alex…”

“I get the appeal, okay?  He’s a smart, nice guy that knows the truth about you and fights by your side and if he was actually from this universe I’d be totally on board, but…”

“You don’t get it.  You can’t get it, Alex.  I don’t have to pretend with him.  I don’t constantly have to be on guard with my powers around him.  He’s funny and kind and we just work.  I know it’s insane and I never really expected it, but just once I’d like to enjoy myself.”

“Kara.” Her sister sighed.  She took a sip of her coffee, leaned back in her chair and stared at Kara in that way she had.  The I’m-your-big-sister-and-know-all type that was unnerving and comforting at the same time.  “Have you thought about what will happen if he goes home?”

“I used to.  All the time.  And I decided to stop.”

“And I thought your feelings for Jimmy were crazy-“

“-that was different.”

“How?”

“What?”

“How was it so different?”

“Because Jimmy didn’t…I care about Jimmy.  He’s a good friend and he’s always had my back.  I do love him for it, and yes, I thought that it was more, that it could be more.  But it was more about the idea of it.  Barry and I fight side-by-side and then we go home together.  He drives me crazy sometimes, but mostly, he makes me laugh and I don’t feel so alone.”

Her sister reached out and took her hand.  “You’re not alone, Kara.  You’ve never been alone.”

Kara rubbed her temples because none of this was coming out right.  For someone who worked for one of the biggest communication moguls, Kara found it quite hard at times to express what she was feeling.  She offered a small smile to her sister and said, “I know that.  I know how I lucky I am, but I still feel like my differences keep me on the outside sometimes – whether it’s true or not.  Except I don’t feel like that so much with Barry.  We’re not the same, but we’re both kind of stuck in this separate place…and he’s a good man.  And he makes me happy.”

“That’s part of what scares me, Kara.”

“Alex…”

She held up her hand and said, “I’m serious.  Everything is so complicated right now and I’m not sure either of you has thought this through.  What are you going to do when he goes home?  Or have you thought about what will happen if he can’t go home?”

“I’ll help him through it.  We’ll all help him through it.”

“And it’s not at all worrisome to you that his whole existence in this new world will revolve completely around you?” Alex replied.  Off whatever she saw in Kara’s expression, she huffed and said, “Fine.  I’m dropping it.  And what do I know anyway?  I’m perpetually single.”

“Because you choose to be.”

“True.”

“I really care about him, Alex, and I know he cares about me.”

“I know that, Kara, and it’s obvious he’s into you.  I’m just not sure how this is going to end and I worry.  It’s in the job description as cool older sister.”

Kara snorted and said, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Barry.  I went into this with my eyes wide open.  It’s not always easy and sometimes I do worry about what I’m doing, but however it came about, it works for us right now.  And I’m just…things are so crazy in other aspects of my life and it’s nice to have this one thing that’s mine.”

“Fair enough.”

Kara arched an eyebrow because that seemed almost too simple where her sister was concerned, but Alex started chattering on about some book she had been reading that her college friends kept emailing her about.  Kara tried to pay attention, but when talk turned to the shy girl saving the emotionally-damaged rich guy, she tuned it out.  Her thoughts returned to Barry and she wondered if her sister was right to be concerned.  Kara knew how crazy all of this was.  She wasn’t normally this girl, the one who just jumped in head first without considering every angle.  Having to hide her heritage, she’d always had to be so careful about every action, every decision.

The truth was there was so much that she and Barry needed to talk about that she found herself unable to even consider it.  He had been in love with his best friend growing up – she had heard him and Winn talking about it one night early on – and he had left her and everyone else that mattered to him behind on his world.  Soon he would need to make a choice to let go of trying to get home and then mourning for that loss or finally figuring out how to return, which meant Kara lost the first person to really matter to her in a long time. 

A part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold on if he left.  She was strong enough that no matter how fast he went, she could keep up, but she wasn’t ready to give up her world.  So could she ask him to do that for her?

Alex snapped her fingers in front of Kara’s face.  Kara glared at her and Alex shook her head.  “You need to talk to him, Kara.”

“We just went over this-“

“-I heard what you said, but that’s not you.  And if you and Barry have any shot of making something out of this mess, you both need to be honest about things.”

“Would you please drop this?”

“Kara.”

“You sound like mom.”

Alex glared at her and said, “You’re being stubborn because you know I’m right.”

“He’s got enough on his plate without-“

“-you go on about what a team the two of you are.  That has to work both ways.  And, as you pointed out, Barry is a good guy.  I think he would want to know what you’re feeling.”

Kara shrugged while she worked out a response.  She really didn’t want to put more on Barry’s shoulders or make him feel guilty about things.  She definitely didn’t want to end their relationship, but what kind of future could they have if they weren’t honest with each other?

“I hear communication is the key to any healthy relationship,” Alex pointed out.

Kara nodded and commented, “Fine, Miss Smartypants.”

“This has got nothing to do with how smart I am. I just know how your mind works after all this time, Kara,” Alex replied.

**

Barry had never felt so torn in his life.  He thought he knew loss and misery after watching his mother murdered and seeing his father blamed for it.  He thought he understood how easily someone could be taken from him, but this was a different kind of pain.   There was no clear-cut answer.  And maybe fate had known that and taken the choice away from him for a reason.  It was starting to look like the past three months were just the warm up to a whole new life.

“Barry?  Why are you sitting in the dark?” Kara asked as she hurried into the apartment.  She dropped a few bags of groceries on the counter before moving over toward him. 

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the couch next to him, hugging her tight and burying his face in her hair.  She always smelled like raspberries and that generic lilac shampoo she loved and it had become one of the anchors keeping him from losing his mind.

She squeezed him tight and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Hank and I talked today.”

“Okay…” she replied.  When he didn’t say more, she leaned back and stared at him.  “You gonna tell me what you talked about?”

“I took him up on the offer of the job with the DEO.”

“You did?  Are you sure?  I told you before that I make more than enough to cover-“

“-Kara, I need to start pulling my weight.”

“You do,” she replied.  He cocked an eyebrow and snorted.  She said, “I’m serious.  You do plenty.”

Barry slumped a little and rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand.  He took a deep breath and admitted, “I don’t think I’m going home, Kara.”

“Barry…” she said, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his shoulder. 

“No one is giving up on it, but it’s not a priority, not with all that’s going on and even if I could get word to my world, I’ve got no idea what I would say.  ‘Love you all, but I’ve met a girl and don’t really want to come back’ seems a bit much.”

“You don’t want to go home?” Kara asked in surprise.  Barry remained silent, unsure how to answer, and settled on a shrug.  Kara pulled back enough that she could get a good look at him.  Barry both loved and hated how it seemed like Kara could just read his every thought.  It was useful when they were fighting bad guys, not so much when they were bickering over who ate the last yogurt.  She took Barry’s face in hand.  “Hey, you can talk to me.  It won’t hurt me.  I’m okay as long as you’re honest with me, Barry.”

Barry kissed her while he tried to get his thoughts in order.  When they broke apart, Kara was wearing Barry’s favorite smile, one he realized no one else really got to see that made him feel like he had won the lottery.  And then he felt immediately guilty because he wasn’t supposed to be so happy…or was he?  It was all so confusing. 

“There isn’t a right or wrong answer, Barry.  I want to help you if I can.”

“I know that,” Barry snapped.  He shot her an apologetic look, took a deep breath and went on, “I know there’s not much you wouldn’t do for me.  You’ve proven that time-and-time again since I showed up on this world.  And I’m not sure I deserve someone who cares so much about my feelings, who keeps putting me first, when it could backfire and hurt you.”

Kara tugged Barry closer and hugged him.  Barry wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that with Kara just providing him comfort and him taking it, but when she slid back, she smiled at him and he was completely gone.  He couldn’t imagine losing this – losing her.  Everything else he could find a way to handle.  It wasn’t ideal and he did miss home, but Kara was what mattered.  In that moment, he knew it like he knew his name and it terrified him.

“Talk to me please,” Kara replied, staring at him with such earnestness and care that all Barry could do was kiss her again.  She pressed her hand into his chest and said, “Please.”

“It’s hard to explain.  I miss my family and friends.  It’s hard to imagine that I’ll never see any of them again.  It’s even worse imagining them thinking I’ve been captured by Zoom or dead – I don’t want anyone suffering because of me.”

“Understandable.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple and said, “But I’m happy here, Kara.  I hate that I’ve been such a burden-“

“-you’re not a burden.”

Barry snorted softly and said, “I haven’t been pulling my own weight, Kara.  I’ve been taking advantage of your kindness and-“

“You’re an idiot sometimes.  You know that?” She huffed, smacking him in the chest.  He tried not to grimace in pain as she shook her head and replied, “You think Hank would’ve offered you a job if you didn’t deserve it?  You think this thing between us is because I’m kind?”

“No, that’s not-“

“-because that’s insane and I’d like to think I wasn’t in a relationship with an insane person.”

Barry cocked his eyebrow.  “We’re in a relationship?”

“Barry Allen.”

“That’s good to know since I’m kinda head-over-heels in love with you, Kara Danvers.”

Barry wished he had a camera because Kara’s eyes widened almost-comically and he could tell she had been about to yell at him and then thrown for a loop.  He only started to worry that he was doomed to declare his love to women who didn’t feel the same way about him when Kara just stared at him blankly for another long while.  Barry knew that Kara had feelings for Jimmy and maybe he was only supposed to be a temporary distraction.  Maybe Barry was the rebound who didn’t realize that and he suddenly felt the urge to speed out of the room and then the city.

He stood up and said, “And I get that’s not fair to put on your shoulders.  Winn offered to let me stay with him until I can find my own place and-“

Kara latched her hand onto his hip and said, “You can’t just drop that on me and take off.”

“Kara…”

“I love you too, you idiot.  I kept telling you and myself and anyone that would listen that I wasn’t thinking about anything and just going with the flow with this thing…but the truth is that I’ve loved you for awhile now.  I love you and us and I’m sorry about all it has cost you for us to get to have it, but it’s true all the same.”

Barry stared at her, unsure what to say, so he bent forward and kissed her.  She grabbed a fistful of his tee-shirt and pulled him into her lap.  He chuckled as she manhandled him, her hands tracing over the muscles of his back, and deepened the kiss.

When they pulled back, slightly breathless, he said, “You’re not a consolation prize.  I need you to know that.”

“Okay.  And I need you to know that it’s okay for you to be upset around me.  You’re losing the only world you knew before and I know how much that hurts.”

“I know you do.”

“So let me help you.  You can talk to me…about your home…about Iris.”

“Iris?” Barry didn’t follow.  His eyebrows drew together in puzzlement and he asked, “What would I have to say about Iris?”

“You loved her and you lost her.”

“Yeah, but…Iris and I weren’t dating, Kara.”

“But you wanted to.”

“Yes and no.  Our relationship was complicated.  I will always love Iris.  She’s been my best friend since we were six years old, but she was in love with someone else and she had to mourn losing him.  Maybe something more would’ve happened between us eventually, but I stopped trying to make it happen a while ago.”

“I’m sorry that she has to lose you now.”

“Iris is stronger than even she knows.  I think she’ll be okay.  I think everyone will be okay.  Or I keep telling myself they will be,” Barry replied.  He cupped her face and said, “I still think I should get my own place.”

“You don’t-“

“-we’ve kinda been moving super fast because neither of us really thought about this being a permanent thing…“

“I hoped,” Kara said.

Barry smiled.  “Yeah?”

She smiled softly in return.  “Yeah.  Took me awhile to be able to admit that to myself.”

“Well, it’s looking like I’m gonna be around for awhile, so…”

“No.”

Barry huffed in exasperation.  “Kara…”

“We should definitely stop acting like this isn’t a relationship or avoiding defining it or talking about what we’re both feeling,” Kara replied.  She wrapped her arms around Barry’s neck, bringing his head down toward hers, and went on, “But I like our life together in this apartment.  And slow is for people who don’t know how fleeting it all can be.  Nothing is guaranteed, especially with what we do, and I think this works for us.”

“You sure?”

“I wouldn’t put up with you leaving a drop of orange juice in the carton all the time if I wasn’t sure.”

Barry grinned, kissing the corner of her mouth, and responded, “Knew that bothered you.”

“It would bother any sane creature, Barry.”

“I love you,” he said simply.   Now that it was out there, he wanted to make sure she knew.  Barry knew he would never deserve Kara, but for some reason she had chosen him and that was everything.  He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “So we’re gonna do this?”

Barry could feel her smile against his skin as she said, “Hate to tell you this, Barry, but we kinda already are.”

“You know what I mean.”

She grinned and said, “Yeah, I do.”  She pushed him down onto his back and kissed him fiercely as her hands traveled down his chest.   His hands tangled in her hair and every single coherent thought disappeared from Barry’s brain until all he could think about was Kara. 

**

Kara came into the small DEO conference room and sat down next to Barry, taking his hand in hers.  She knew he was rattled not only from her close call out there, but her sister had mentioned a weird dream he’d had while he was in the medical bay. 

He looked over at her, forcing a small smile, and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Kryptonite is evil,” she replied.  He nodded and she added, “I’m okay.  No lingering effects.”

He lifted their intertwined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles.  He said, “Good.  Don’t know what I would’ve done…”

She cut him off before he could continue to worry.  “Wanna tell me what happened while I was out of commission?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Barry Allen, how long have we been together?”

“Kara, now isn’t the time.  Lucy wants to talk to both of us.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “We just saved the planet.  She’ll give us a few minutes.”  She squeezed his hand and said, “Something upset you.”

“Something upset me?  Kara, you nearly died out there today,” Barry replied in exasperation, prying his hand free and standing up.  He started to pace the floor and shot her a look that was so lost that it took all of Kara’s willpower not to wrap her arms around him and fly them out of there – stupid debriefings be damned.  He shook his head and said, “Worse is the thought that I might not have been…that he could’ve grabbed me without…”  He let out a loud sigh and covered his face with his hands.

Kara stood up and closed the distance between them.  She pushed his hands away and cupped his face.  She said, “I want to help you, but you need to talk to me in order for that to happen.”

Barry sighed and covered her mouth with his, it was sloppy and desperate in a way Kara hadn’t experienced before and it left her feeling slightly worried.  She was already messed up from everything that happened, but all she wanted to do was get out of there and lock herself and Barry up in their apartment for a week.  Barry pulled away and leaned against the wall.  He waved his hand around and said, “I’m sorry.  It’s been a rough couple of days and I’m trying to hold onto something to keep me sane.”

“You hold onto me.  That’s our deal,” Kara replied.

Barry ducked his head but she could see the small smile on his face.  After a moment, he extended his hand to her and she allowed him to tug her into his personal space.  He said, “When I was knocked out, I think Cisco tried to Vibe me.  It was like a disjointed dream and then I felt this tug, like he was trying to get a hold on me.  I could hear him calling for me, but I woke up to a DEO agent hovering over me.  And you were...”

“I’m okay,” she replied soothingly.

“You almost weren’t.  And what if it was because I was too lost in my own issues to help you?  What if I was out longer than I should’ve been in the middle of a fight?”

“Barry, if your friend tried to Vibe you, that’s not something you could control.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What else?”  Kara prompted.  There had to be more to this.  He had to be happy to have finally made a connection with his home, even if the timing was less than great.  Instead, he seemed completely thrown and the fact that he was being so tight-lipped about it gave her pause – what if he wanted to go home?  Did he want her to stop him?  Was she supposed to?  How did she compete with his home?  What if she wasn’t enough? 

He gave her a look, but didn’t respond.  She sighed in frustration, but tried to stay patient.  If she was feeling slightly overwhelmed, Barry had to be more than a little freaked out.  She placed her hands on his chest and said, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Kara.”

“And I know you don’t want to hurt me, but I start to imagine worst case scenarios when you don’t talk to me.”

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist.  He didn’t look at her, but he responded, “It’s been eight months, Kara.  I made my peace with things.”

“But now you might not need to,” she said gently.

“That’s not…I’d like to be able to find a way to get a message to them so they could know that I was okay, not to worry.  Like to be able to make sure they were all okay too.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I don’t know how strong Cisco’s powers have gotten.  I was slightly terrified he might be able to pull me back to our world without me being able to stop him,” Barry replied.  He let go of her and slumped down into a chair, bending over and covering his head in his arms.  He groaned and muttered, "I'm all over the place right now and I'm sorry."

She knelt down in front of him, prying his arms away so she could get a good look at him.  She reached out to run her fingers through his hair and said, "Stop apologizing.  It's okay."

He tapped his fingers nervously on his thigh and stared at her.  Kara knew to wait him out when he got like this.  She knew that he was trying to find the words that would not only explain what he was going through, but spare her feelings.  Kara was pretty sure Barry Allen was the kindest man she had ever met and it always made her chest ache a bit that for her to get this amazing relationship, he had to lose so much.

Barry glanced at her and finally said, “This is my home now, Kara.  National City on Earth-whatever-number-this-is, working as the Flash and a scientist for the DEO, fighting side-by-side with Supergirl and planning a future with the one-of-a-kind Kara Danvers.  I’m happy in a way I didn’t think I could be and that scares me sometimes.”

“Scares me too.  We’ve got something to lose now,” Kara replied.  She wanted to climb into his lap and kiss him, but both Hank and Lucy had taken turns yelling at her and Barry about inappropriate boundaries when they had been caught the last time.  Kara settled for inching closer into the Vee of his legs and resting her hands on his thighs.  He met her gaze and she said, “I love you, Barry, but I wouldn’t blame you if you decided you want to go home to your world.”

“I don’t.”

Kara couldn’t deny the relief she felt at hearing him say that, but she needed to be sure.  She replied, “You’re sure?”

“My home is where you are, Kara.  And maybe it’s selfish and wrong to leave my world without my abilities, but I don’t think I ended up here by mistake.  Or maybe I just need to believe that,” Barry replied.

She couldn’t hide the grin that spread across her face.  She was pretty sure Barry Allen had spoiled her in the best ways possible.  Winn and Alex, even Jimmy, teased her constantly about how lovey-dovey she was, and it was true.  She had become one half of that type of couple she used to make fun of.  But even more than that, Barry had made her stronger and better as both Kara Danvers and Supergirl.  He had appeared out of nowhere and changed her whole life in ways she was still trying to completely comprehend.

And she would fight for him.  She would do whatever she had to for him.

“You’re my home too,” she said softly.  His hand wound around her neck, pulling her in for a bruising kiss.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his.  She said, “So if you had to go back, I’d go with you.”

He pulled back slightly and looked at her with a startled expression.  “What?”

“I wouldn’t want to stay there permanently, but if they could find a way to open the breach temporarily…I’d go with you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not.  I’m offering.   I know there was so much you wished you had said to Iris and Joe.  I know how much you’ve worried about leaving your city unprotected against a lunatic like Zoom.  And I’d prefer it if you weren’t suddenly stolen away from me because your friends want you back.”

He stared at her for a second, like he wasn’t sure what to make of her, and finally said, “I guess we are at the meet-the-parents stage of things in our relationship.”

She chuckled and said, “Alex says our mother loves you more than us.”  Barry laughed and Kara kissed his smile. 

Kara only pulled away when she heard the clearing of a throat and Lucy was hovering in the doorway.  She said, “My father wants me to do a conference call with him, so I’ve decided this debriefing can wait a few days.  Why don’t the two of you get out of here?”

Kara smiled at her and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Go home you two.  I’ll talk to you later,” Lucy replied, waving as she disappeared down the hall.

Kara turned to look at Barry, who had that embarrassed pink sheen to his skin and whose gaze was fixed on the floor.  He said, “Between the two of us, you would think it wouldn’t be so easy to sneak up on us.  It’s almost embarrassing how often it happens.”

Kara shrugged and said, “You distract me.”

“Feeling’s mutual.”

“Are we okay?”

“You and I are more than okay.  You’re the one thing I’m sure of, Kara,” Barry replied.

Kara said, “We’ll figure the rest out.”

Barry nodded.  “It would be nice to go home for a visit, to be able to let everyone know that I’m okay and to make sure the same is true for them, but I’m not sure it’s possible.”

“We can try.”

“Not if it will hurt you or innocent people.  We can’t risk any of those aliens from the Phantom Zone ending up on my world.  They would never be able to handle it.  And I’m not risking taking you back to my home with me if I can’t get you back here when it’s done.  You’ve lost enough in your life.”

Kara shifted and settled onto his lap.  His arms balancing her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his throat.  He held onto her tightly and she said, “I’ll follow your lead on this one.”

“You really okay?  I keep seeing you go down out there and…”

Kara kissed him on the lips and said, “I’m fine now.  You think my sister would’ve let me leave medical if she wasn’t sure?”  Barry chuckled and Kara grabbed a hold of his hand.  She motioned to the door and added, “We’ll come up with a plan to deal with Cisco and everything else later.  Right now, I think you should use some of that super speed to get us home so you can take advantage of me in my weakened state.”

**

Barry wasn’t sure where he was except that there was a lot of fog.  Occasionally there would be a small beacon of light, like a search light from a plane overhead, but it was always smothered by the fog.  He reminded himself that he had sought this out.  He and Kara agreed that he needed to try to connect with Cisco again.   He missed his best friend, was worried about his family and knew everyone was probably worried about him, but mostly, the thought of randomly waking up back in Central City on his Earth…

He wasn’t exactly sure when National City had become his home, but he belonged there.  There were moments of guilt and sadness – times of missing Joe and Iris and his friends badly – but mostly, he was happy.  It was like the minute he had agreed to take the job at the DEO, he realized it was what he had wanted anyway.

Barry noticed a bench overlooking a park that he didn’t recognize.  He sat down, trying to get his bearings, and thought about Cisco and his friends.  They had kind of been guessing at ways that might make it easier for Cisco to Vibe him, and Alex had suggested focusing on things familiar to his home.

He was about to give up when a small portion of the fog cleared and he could make out a person coming down the path.  The person stopped abruptly when he noticed Barry and called out, “Barry?”

Barry hopped up and walked toward the person until the fog was gone and it was clear that it was Cisco, wearing the same exact tee-shirt he had on the last time Barry had seen him.  Barry grinned at him and said, “I was hoping you’d find me.  Not sure where we are though.”

Cisco grabbed him and hugged him.  He slapped him on the shoulder as he pulled away and said, “Thank God you’re alive.”  He looked Barry over like he wasn’t completely sure of what he was seeing and went on, “There was no trace of you anywhere and we thought maybe Zoom had…”

“I’m okay,” Barry reassured him, smiling at his friend.  He tried to tamper down the guilt at the worry etched into Cisco’s expression.  Logically, he knew there was nothing else he could’ve done, but it was still hard to see the people he cared about hurting. 

“We didn’t know that.  Not until a few months ago when I vibed on you fighting some flying creature.”

“You thought I was dead all that time?”

“We didn’t know what to think, but yeah.”

“I’m really sorry,” Barry replied regretfully.  He turned and walked back over to the bench.  He sat down and stared off into the abyss.  He asked, “How are Joe and Iris?”

“Better now that they realize you’re alive.”

“Tell them that I love them.  Same goes for Cait.”

“Barry, I’ll get you home.  I almost had you the other day.”

“I know.”

Cisco arched an eyebrow.  “You know?”  Cisco was looking at him like he was a metahuman problem that had to be solved, the way he got when they were up to their eyes in it, but he was sure there was a way to deal with it.  And it hit Barry how much he had missed his friend.  Barry hugged him and Cisco returned it.  When Cisco pulled back, he still looked perplexed and he said, “Dude, I need you to stop with the Mr. Miyagi style answers and talk to me.”

Barry shrugged.  “I don’t really know how to explain it.  I felt this tug and I just knew it was you.”

“Then why the hell did you fight me on it?  I’m still getting a grip on these powers – you could’ve made this easier on me, man.”

“I couldn’t let you take me back.”

“What does that mean?” Cisco asked, his confusion turning to frustration.  He motioned between them and said, “You’re acting really strange.  Are you even my Barry or did I grab the wrong-“

“-there’s only me.  This world doesn’t have a Barry Allen, at least not that I found,” Barry interrupted.

Cisco rubbed the bridge of his nose and said, “Right.  Sure.  So what’s going on?  Why wouldn’t you let me bring you home when I could?”

“I had been knocked unconscious during a fight.  Kara was hurt and I couldn’t just leave her or National City in the middle of a crisis.  And I don’t want…” Barry paused and glanced down at the ground.  He had missed Cisco and seeing the other man reminded him of home in a way that almost made him reconsider his choice.

But then he remembered how he had ended up here.  After a lot of talking about the best way to attempt to make contact and Kara calming down his worries about all the things that could wrong, they had agreed Barry had to try.  Kara had kissed him, reminded him that he owed her a real date when it was done, and then slugged him so they could try to recreate the last time Cisco had been able to find him.  He knew she hadn't wanted to pursue it; that no matter what she she said, she was worried...but she was willing to do it anyway for him.  Because she loved him.

They were a team and Kara was everything.  Barry thought about the way his eyes automatically found Kara in every room and the way she would blush when she caught him.  His chest ached with how much he had come to love her and depend on her; there was no way he was giving that up. 

No.  As much as he missed Cisco and the others...he would choose Kara every single time.

“Barry?  Who’s Kara?  What crisis?”

Barry said, “I want to answer your questions, Cisco.  I want to catch up on everything, but how long have we got in here?” Barry motioned to where the fog seemed to be creeping up on them again.  He added, “I can’t go with you.”

“You can’t go with me?  Barry, what’s going on?” Cisco asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I figured you would try to reach me again, but nothing was happening.”

“I couldn’t get a lock on you until now,” Cisco informed him.

Barry nodded.  “Kara and I thought that might be the case.  Since I was knocked out the last time you nearly found me, we realized it might be easier to recreate that scenario…so Kara punched me.”

“Huh?”

“I just wanted to make sure all of you knew that I was okay.  I’m alive and okay.”

“Harry and I think we’ve figured out a way to open up a breach to bring you home,” Cisco replied excitedly.

“Can you control it?” Barry asked, a glimmer of hope in his heart.

“Not yet-“

“Then no.  We can’t risk it.”

“What does that mean?”

“You heard me, Cisco.  I should never have opened that wormhole for the Reverse Flash last year.  I’m the reason those breaches occurred.  We can’t risk doing something like that again.”

“Even if it would bring you home?” Cisco questioned, frustration evident in his tone.  He shook his head and said, “We’re not leaving you out there, Barry.”

“There are dangerous aliens on this earth.  I had a close call last week and…I can’t risk letting that through into your world.”

“Don’t you mean our world?”  Cisco stared at him blankly.  “Seriously, what’s going on with you?”

“I’m trying to do the right thing here, Cisco.” 

“We’ll be careful, dude.  We only need to keep it open long enough to get you home.”

Barry ducked his head and took a deep breath.  When he looked over at Cisco, he reached out and patted his arm.  He said, “I’ve made a home for myself here, Cisco.  It’s been eight months.”

“What are you telling me?” Cisco asked, anger seeping into his tone.  It didn’t happen often, but Barry could see his friend was struggling to make sense of things.  And Barry understood it – if their roles were reversed he would be feeling the same way – but he wasn’t sure how to approach this topic.  He didn’t want to hurt anyone.  He missed his family and friends, his old life, but he was happy where he was and it had taken him time to be okay with that.  Cisco snapped his finger in Barry’s face, forcing Barry to look at him, and said, “Barry, you belong back in Central City with your family and friends.  You protect our home – because it’s still your home too.  I’ve been doing more and the Arrow has been trying to help out, but he’s such a pain sometimes.”

Barry chuckled and said, “He’s Oliver.  And what about Zoom?”

“We’ve managed to keep all those breaches shut down, but that still leaves Earth 2 under his rule,” Cisco replied.  He shifted so that he was facing Barry and stared at him like he was expecting to suddenly understand.  When Barry remained silent, Cisco commented, “You seem different.”

“It’s been eight months, Cisco.  I had to change or go crazy.”

Cisco ducked his head.  “I’m sorry it took so long to find you.”

“Hey, no, that’s not what I’m saying.  I was trying over here too and then I finally had to stop.”

“But I’ve got your location now, Barry.  I can open a rift and pull you through.”

Barry shook his head.  “No.  I don’t want that.”

“You want me to tell Joe and Iris that you don’t want to come home?  Your dad?”

“My dad, of all people, will understand that I need to make my own way.  And it’s not that I don’t…I miss you, man.  I miss Joe and Iris and Cait.  I even miss Harry.”

Cisco snorted and said, “Don’t.  He’s a pain in the ass.”

“I wish I could come home to say a proper goodbye, but unless you can promise me that I’ll be able to get back here again, I can’t do it, Cisco.  I’m sorry, but I won’t.”

Cisco stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  And then, after a short amount of time, his eyes widened and a huge grin broke out on his face.  He reached out and punched Barry in the arm.  “Oh my God.  You said we and you’re acting weird…you met a girl.”

“Cisco.”

“You did, didn’t you?”  Cisco pointed at him and said, “Yep.  There’s a girl.  You’ve totally got your infatuated face.”

“I don’t have an infatuated face.”

“Barry, I watched you pining for Iris for almost a year.  I know the infatuated face,” Cisco teased. 

Barry couldn’t stop himself from hugging Cisco again.  He had missed his best friend and the easy banter between them.  He had worried what it would be like to talk to everyone again – eight months changed people, not just him – but it felt like no time had passed.  He wished, more than ever, that there was some easy way to avoid making a choice.  He wished he could enjoy the best of both worlds, but knew it wouldn’t be possible. 

And as much as he missed Cisco and the others…he couldn’t imagine walking away from the life he had built for himself over the past eight months.  He loved Kara and the life they shared.  He loved the work he was doing for the DEO and the friendships he had made.  He had always been so afraid of leaving Central City when he was younger, partly because he couldn’t imagine leaving his dad rotting in a prison while he went off into the world, and now it was hard to think of going back there.

Cisco slapped him on the back and sing-songed, “Barry’s got a crush.”

“Well, this is more than a crush.  I love Kara.  We’re a team and I’m not giving her up, Cisco.  I don’t want to hurt any of you, I really don’t, but I can’t imagine coming back to my life there without her.”

“You could bring her,” Cisco suggested.

“And make her go through what I did?  Besides, this world needs her.  She’s a hero.”

Cisco said, “Of course she is.”

Barry said, “She offered to come with me.  She figured we could probably figure out a way to deal with Zoom and then get back, but I won’t risk her losing her world.”

“I don’t know that I can make that happen, Barry,” he cautioned.

“I didn’t think you could.  That’s…tell everyone that I’m okay and I miss them.”

“Barry, no.  We’ll find a way to make it happen, okay?” Cisco pleaded.

"You just said-"

"-I don't care.  I'm not giving up on helping you.  I'll figure something out," Cisco countered.

Barry shook his head.  “You’ve got a city to protect and your own lives to focus on.  I don’t want all of you wasting your time on me.”

“You’re not a waste of time.  You’re my friend.”

“Cisco, c’mon, you know what I mean,” Barry replied.

“No.  Don’t ask me to give up on you, man.  That’s not cool,” Cisco argued.  He ran his hands through his hair and went on, “Now that I’ve got a lock on you, I think I can find a solution to our predicament.”

“Cisco…” Barry sighed.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose and said, “I’m trying to do the right thing for everyone here.”

“This isn’t the right thing.  I’ve missed you.  You’re my best friend and nothing’s the same without you.  I’ve come very close to killing Harry about fifteen different times and you know I’m more of a lover than a fighter.”

“I miss you too.  Can you believe this Earth has no Joss Whedon shows?”

“That’s a travesty,” Cisco replied.  Barry could tell he was still upset, but trying to lighten the mood.

“I really have missed you.  This isn’t about not missing you and the others,” Barry replied.

Cisco shot him the sometimes-you’re-an-idiot look that was usually only sent his way after Barry did something particularly reckless in the field.  He said, “I’m not giving up.”

Barry gave a small smile.  “I figured as much.”

The fog started to thicken, covering Barry’s body and shocking him.  Cisco reached out and hugged him again.  He said, “I’ll find a way.  I mean it.”

“No just taking me.  No matter what,” Barry said through a grimace.

“Barry-“

“-you need to promise me,” Barry hollered.

“I promise, but I want to meet this girlfriend.  We have rules about these things – Bro Code and all that,” Cisco replied.

Barry would’ve rolled his eyes if he wasn’t currently trying to shake off the fog.  “Bro Code?” 

“Yeah.  Hey.  Barry, don’t fight against the fog.  I can’t control the connection any longer so just let go.  I’ll find you again,” Cisco said.  Barry shut his eyes, trying really hard not to panic even though he felt like he was suffocating on the thick fog.  The dread kicked in though when he could no longer breathe.

And then he sat up, gasping for air, to find Kara standing over him with a worried look on her face.  He rubbed his jaw and glanced around the immediate area.  He was on their couch back in their living room and he felt a little bit more of the terror dissipate.  He grinned up at Kara and said, “You pack a wallop.  Remind me to stay on your good side.”

She handed him an ice pack and said, “You were out longer than I expected.  I was starting to worry.”

“I’m okay.  I talked to Cisco.”

“And?”

Barry shrugged.  “I told him to tell the others that I’m okay, that I’m happy, and they need to move on.  I made it clear that I don’t want him to open a breach if they couldn’t make sure it was stable and nothing bad would follow us over there.”

“Barry, we talked about this.“

“I know and I heard you.  I appreciate that you would do that for me.”

She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.  She said, “Well, we’re a team.”

He grinned and said, “Yeah, we are.”

“And this was important to you.”

“Not as important as you are.”

Kara gave him that look of hers that said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to throttle him or kiss him.  It turned tender, which led him to assume it was kiss him, and replied softly, “I happen to feel the same way about you, Barry Allen, and I hate seeing what this does to you.”

“Cisco wants to meet you,” Barry changed the subject, not wanting to think about the finality of his choice.  He shifted and leaned back against the couch cushions, holding the ice pack against his cheek.  He wrapped his fingers around Kara’s wrist and pulled her down next to him.  She burrowed into his side, resting her head on his shoulder, and he added, “And I’d like that.  For you to meet my family.  For me to be able to make sure Zoom can’t hurt anyone else, but I meant it when I said I had my peace with things.”

“If Krypton was still there and I had a chance to go home…as much as Earth and National City are my home now, I’d still want to go back,” Kara replied.  She kissed his neck and added, “You’re allowed to want to go back, Barry.  I know you love me.”

“I love you more than anything,” he said.

She grinned and replied, “That a fact?”  He nodded and she kissed him.  She said, “Feeling’s mutual.”

“And it’s not…Cisco is the smartest person I’ve ever met and Harry is pretty damn smart too.  If anyone will ever be able to figure out a way to make it stable enough for us to go visit, it would be one of them.”

“And if they can’t?”

Barry shrugged.  “Then it wasn’t in the cards.  I told Cisco that my father would understand and it hit me in that moment, that it was true.  Same with Joe.  They know I love them and I’m okay.  The rest…”

“And Iris?” she asked tentatively.

“I hope she can understand some day.”

“She’ll probably hate me.”

“I doubt that’s true, but even if it was, that’s her issue,” Barry replied, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.  He breathed her in, feeling the last of the strange effects from the fog fade away, and mumbled, “I’m exhausted.”

“I hope I didn’t give you a concussion.”

“If you did, it’ll heal in a few hours at most anyway.”

“Winn, Alex, Jimmy and Lucy are supposed to stop by for game night.  Want me to cancel?”

“You’re just terrified that Winn, Lucy and I are going to kick your butts again.”

Kara laughed and said, “Sure.  That’s it exactly.”  She nudged him in the side and added, “Though my sister is convinced that you and Lucy are cheating somehow because no one is that good at Charades.”

“I love your sister, but she takes game night way too seriously,” Barry commented.

Kara stood up and hoisted Barry up off the couch.  She said, “Go and lay down.”

“Want to join me?”

“I can’t.  I have errands to run for Kat and I should pick up some food since you eat us out of house and home.”

“Yeah.  All me.  Like you’re not the one who ate that bucket of ice cream last night,” Barry commented.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you’re fine.”

He brushed the hair back off her face and said, “We’re both fine.  That’s gotta count for something.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

“I am.  It’s complicated and weird sometimes, but I’m happy.  And maybe one day we’ll get to go visit my Earth, but if we can’t, that was my choice to make,” Barry replied.  He kissed her and pushed her toward the door as he continued, “Now, I’m going to sleep for a few hours and then I’ll clean up before everyone gets here.”

Barry watched her grab her bag and hurry out of the apartment.  He looked around and took everything in.  This was his home now.  Not only did he truly believe it, but he was beginning to think this was where he always belonged.  All he could do was follow his heart, like Joe and his father had taught him growing up, and hope that one day maybe he could introduce Kara to his world.