Chapter Text
The door swished shut after a cheerfully chattering Allura and Coran, leaving the four paladins standing in a physically painful silence. Hunk opened his mouth, probably to do something phenomenally stupid, like call attention to him and Pidge. Pidge drove an elbow into his side. He expelled a quiet ‘oof,’ but thankfully took the hint.
“Sooo,” said Keith, slowly drawing out the word. “I understand why Matt would want a pretend relationship, but I don't really get your place in all this.”
“Just—helping out a friend,” Lance said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking like he would like to be absolutely anywhere else but there.
“Really.” Keith lifted one eyebrow. “Don't get me wrong, Matt’s a great guy, but you’ve known him for like, a tick.”
“I—” It was painful, watching the slow collapse of Lance’s expression as he realized his story was falling apart. His shoulders slumped and he dropped his eyes. “I'm sorry. It was dumb, but I thought maybe—maybe you might get jealous.”
“Me?” Keith repeated, and the thing was, even though Lance was so clearly leading up to it, Keith still looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Actually, he looked sort of like someone had sucker punched him. “Because—you like me?”
Not looking up, Lance nodded once.
Lance didn't see the way Keith’s entire face slowly lit up, but Pidge and Hunk sure did. Keith took a small, hesitant step forward.
“So,” he said. “You actually like me.”
Lance finally looked up, disbelieving. Keith pressed his lips together, then ducked his head to hide the smile that was threatening to break out across his face.
“I just played an elaborate long con on you because you wouldn't pay attention to me, and you're wondering if I like you?” Lance demanded, his voice slowly going up in pitch. “Of course I like you. I've liked you since I first saw you stupid mullet at the Garrison. I would probably follow you to the ends of the universe because the only dumbass bigger than you is me!”
Keith stared at him, looking like Lance had just given him the most precious gift. This, for some reason, just made Lance angrier.
“No, scratch that, I don't like you at all. Hell, I can't even stand you most the time. But for some reason, I love you—mmph!” He was cut off as Keith flung himself into his arms and kissed the words right out of his mouth. Actually, it looked a little painful—Keith sort of just crashed into Lance with all the enthusiasm and force of an excited half-alien and nearly bowled them both over.
There was a moment of stunned silence. Lance's hands hovered over Keith’s back, and then slowly came down to clutch his shirt.
“Come on,” Pidge hissed, tugging on Hunk’s arm. It was like trying to move a tree.
“Wait, just one more,” said Hunk, snapping about twenty more pictures with the Altean camera Coran had given them for mission purposes, but that they all abused regularly.
Pidge nearly crawled right out of her skin when Keith let out a happy groan. “Nope, that's more than I can take. We are leaving,” she said, and hauled Hunk out of the room.
“Altea has brain bleach, right?” Pidge asked, shoving up her glasses to scrub both her eyes with the heels of her hands.
“I don't get it. Wasn't this your plan all along? Why are you so grossed out?” Hunk asked, swiping through the photos as they strolled down the hall. “Oh, this one’s cute.” He held out the camera, showing Pidge a picture of Keith lunging at a wide eyed, angry looking Lance. They looked more like they were going to murder each other than make out.
Pidge sniffed. “My plan was to break up Matt and Lance. All other results are nonsignificant.”
“That implies that Matt remaining single would be your operational objective,” said Hunk. “Does that mean you're going to break up Matt and Shiro?”
“What? Of course not!”
Hunk grinned at her.
Pidge scowled.
“Ha! I knew it. You matchmaking cupid, you.”
“Oh, shut up,” Pidge grumbled, pressing the panel for the lounge. The doors swished open and both Pidge and Hunk froze.
Apparently, they’d found Matt the same time Shiro had.
Shiro didn't even acknowledge Pidge and Hunk, just prowled towards Matt, one hand still clutching his side. Matt flicked a wide eyed glance towards Pidge and Hunk, then back to Shiro. “Sh-Shiro.”
“That was a dumb plan, Matt.”
“Yeah, well, your face is dumb,” Matt grumbled.
“I don't think you actually think that.”
“I really do.”
A small smile played at the corners of Shiro’s lips. He took a step towards Matt. When Matt didn't immediately shrink away, he took another step forward. “I'm sorry for misunderstanding your confession.”
Matt sighed and rubbed the back of his head, the belligerence falling away from his expression. He smiled back, tentatively. “I'm sorry for pretending to date Lance out of revenge.”
Shiro’s smile stretched into an amused grin. “I'm sorry for plotting with your sister to break you guys up.”
“Oh my god,” Matt laughed, covering his face with one hand. “We really are the worst type of people.”
Shiro reached out to hold Matt’s shoulders, leaning down a bit to look Matt in the eye. “Now that that’s all settled, can I kiss you?”
Matt responded by grabbing Shiro’s face with both his hands and planting him one on the mouth.
“Gah,” Pidge said.
She really didn’t need Hunk to cover her eyes because 1. she wasn’t six years old and 2. she had already slammed her eyes shut, but she appreciated his consideration. Sort of.
“Get off me,” she grunted, shoving at Hunk’s arm.
He withdrew his hand just in time for Pidge to see Shiro back up, wince a little and grab the side where he’d been injured.
“Shiro—?” Matt held out a hand, still hesitant to touch him even though they had just been sucking faces, ew.
“Just a little internal bleeding,” Shiro said, and then had the audacity to snicker a little at Matt’s look of horror.
Matt slid one hand down his face. “Oh my god, Shiro,” he groaned, then caught him as he sank to the floor.
(Well, tried to catch him—Shiro just sort of took him down with him until Hunk and Pidge hurried over to help.)
“Hey.”
Matt looked up from where he was typing furiously on a tablet. He was sitting in front of Shiro’s healing pod, legs crossed at the ankles, a plate of half-finished food goo at his side.
“Yo.”
“How’s he doing?” Pidge asked, dropping into a sitting position across from him.
Matt rolled his eyes and set his tablet to the side. “He’ll be fine. I still can’t believe he chased after me when he was bleeding out internally.”
“He’s kind of an idiot like that,” Pidge said, stretching out one leg to nudge his knee with her foot. “Or maybe he just thought you were worth chasing after.”
Matt’s expression changed to something soft and sweet—and incredibly dopey. “Yeah.”
It hit Pidge like a bus. “Oh god, you and Shiro are going to be so gross, huh?”
He nodded seriously. “So gross.”
“Keith and Lance are probably going to be even worse,” Pidge said, dropping her head in her hands. “Operation: Terminate Latte was a terrible idea.”
Matt snorted. “What a dumb name. ‘Operation: Terminate Latte’? What are we, some overpriced novelty drink?”
Pidge scowled. She didn‘t know what everyone had against the name. “Oh, like you have any room to talk. ‘Operation: Faking It’? Besides, we changed it to Operation: Coffee Break, so shut up.”
“You’re just jealous. At least our name made logical sense. Your name sounds like you put a hit out on us.” Matt folded his arms behind his head, leaning against the pod. It was almost like he was leaning against Shiro’s legs. “Learn from your masters, young Padawan.”
Before Pidge could chew him out for outdated movie references (although the first argument that popped in her head was, “Like you’d be a Jedi,” which would probably hurt her point more than help it), the doors to the medical wing swished open and Keith stormed in. “I can’t believe you!” he shouted over his shoulder, and stomped straight back out the far door.
A second later, Lance strolled in, a smug grin splitting his face in half. He caught sight of Matt and Pidge and wiggled his fingers in greeting, but didn’t stop his leisurely pursuit.
“What did you do?” Matt called.
“We’re having our first fight,” Lance said, happily. Grossly. “As a couple.”
“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Pidge said, with a groan.