Chapter Text
Makoto goes to the soulmark reveal point the very next day just when Haru came back and closed himself off in his room again. Makoto doesn’t really know the procedure, and he’d really like to ask Rin, but since Rin seems to be so busy, he simply shoots him a text telling him that he’s going to get his mark. Maybe that will get Rin’s attention. Makoto isn’t sure if he’s hurt or mad that Rin is ignoring him as well, or if he’s supposed to feel guilty for something he did to hurt Rin. He still has no clue what that could be, but it’s a possibility.
The building the soulmate reveal point is in is huge and there’s a serious looking lobby and Makoto is a little afraid to enter. He’s stalling outside by reading the posters hanging on the windows, though by the time he’s at the third poster, he feels like an idiot. Just when he decides he should really get it on, the automatic doors slide open and a young woman comes out.
“Zaki-chan?”
The woman stops and turns towards Makoto and yes, it’s unmistakably Yazaki Aki. Her hair is shoulder long now and she wears a hairpin to one side with a flower on it. She’s clad in a trench coat, a classic black skirt, stockings and ankle boots and looks overall like a pretty, fashionable young woman.
“Tachibana-kun! Long time no see,” she replies and walks over to him. Her sunflower smile hasn’t changed, though Makoto notices that her eyes look a little red.
“Are you okay?”
It’s apparently the wrong thing to say, because Aki suddenly scrunches up her nose and blinks rapidly, though that doesn’t help keep the tears at bay, because they spill over anyway.
A little alarmed, Makoto gently takes her by the arm and leads her over to the bench near the building. He gently pushes her down on it and rummages in his bag for tissues. By the time he finds them and offers her one, her tears have stopped again and she thanks him quietly before taking it and drying her eyes with it.
“Sorry, I just… I got my soulmark and…” She looks Makoto over, her eyes searching his wrists, then she takes a shaky breath and looks straight ahead. “I don’t know how much you remember… About Miki, my best friend?”
“I remember she confessed to you and you rejected her.”
Aki laughs a little bitterly. She sounds like she wants to cry again.
“Look,” Aki says and pushes up the sleeve of her trench coat. The kanji there spell out Fujita Miki. When Makoto looks back up into Aki’s eyes, there is a desperate glint there, and Makoto immediately feels like his throat is suddenly dry.
“It’s ironic, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to her since forever.”
Makoto averts his gaze and scratches at his wrist. He doesn’t know what to tell her. It’s a situation much unlike Makoto’s, but he can still empathize a little too well. Maybe it’s just that despair and hurt are universal feelings, even if the causes aren’t.
“I wish I knew what to do now,” Aki whispers, her voice almost breaking, and Makoto’s heart hurts for her. She’s always been such a positive, bright person. It’s sad to see her like this.
“Me, too. But I think… maybe it’s worth talking to her?” Makoto tries and it gets at least a small smile out of Aki.
“I thought you’d say that. And you’re not wrong… it’s just… complicated. I still feel bad about how we drifted apart. It’s like it’s my fault.”
Makoto hums in sympathy. “Yeah, I get that. I feel the same about Rin and he’s ignoring me.”
Aki looks up at him, eyes a little wider from surprise. “Rin? Are you dating?”
“I’m his soulmate…”
For a few brief moments, Aki studies him. “You’re here to get your soulmark, aren’t you? What happened?”
Makoto tells her. He even tells her that he’s in love with Haru and Rin, about the kiss, about his confusion and about the past few days spent in isolation.
“It’s like I’ve lost them both now,” he finishes. He’d have thought he’d start to cry, but all he feels right now is numb.
“I hate soulmarks. They’re not at all necessary, and people still act like it’s a crime when you don’t get yours,” Aki says, and Makoto can’t agree more.
“You know… it might seem bad to other people that you don’t have your soulmark… but from what you’ve told me, Rin is actually fine with it, isn’t he?”
Makoto nods. “Yes, he said so. But I’m not so sure anymore… I mean, why is he ignoring me? I don’t remember doing anything to hurt him or insult him.”
“Have you considered that it might not be anything you did or said?” Aki asks, saying what Makoto doesn’t dare hope. “Maybe he’s working through something himself, just like you.”
“I’m really not sure… I’m not sure about anything anymore, to be honest. And how can I be in love with both him and Haru anyway? And by getting my soulmark, does that mean I’m choosing Rin over Haru? I don’t… I really don’t know anymore.”
“I think you’re polyamorous,” Aki says.
Makoto frowns at her. “I’m what.”
“That’s when you love more than one person at a time. Hmm, it’s a little like a sexuality, though not quite? Some people just love more than one person at the same time, while others don’t.”
Makoto doesn’t know what to think or feel. “So it’s not impossible?”
“Of course not. You’re living it, aren’t you?” Aki is smiling her sunflower smile again, and it helps make Makoto feel a little better. What helps even more is that she’s confirming that Makoto hasn’t gone mad, isn’t confused. That he is, in fact, in love with two people at once. And that it’s a thing that exists. He’s never known there was a name for it.
“Wow, that actually makes me feel better.”
Aki laughs. “I’m glad some education can actually lead to happiness. To be honest, I only learned about it because one of my friends is in a polyamorous relationship.”
“I’m glad you learned about it and told me. I think I might have gone mad otherwise.” Makoto looks down at his wrists, traces them with his fingers.
“I can’t force you not to get your soulmark, and I don’t want to force a decision on you, because it has to be your own. I just think a soulmark is something you should get when you truly want it. But I guess that’s my opinion on it.” Aki puts her hand on Makoto’s shoulder. It’s a gesture meant to reassure him, and to be honest, Makoto does feel reassured. Maybe it’s because he has a similar opinion of soulmarks, or maybe it’s because Aki is telling him at least partly what he actually wants to hear. In any case, he feels validated and like a little of the confusion surrounding him has cleared.
“You’ve really helped me, Zaki-chan. Tell me how I can return the favor,” Makoto says and looks her in the eyes to get across that he really means it.
“You really don’t-” Aki starts, then cuts herself off. “Maybe… could you maybe help me with a text message for Miki?”
Which is how Makoto ends up sitting bent over Aki’s phone with Aki sitting bent over it as well, their heads almost touching, instead of going to get his soulmark. In the end, Aki even sends it with Makoto still sitting next to her.
“I hope she still has the same phone number,” Aki mutters. “I’m so nervous.”
This time Makoto puts his hand on her shoulder. “I’m crossing my fingers for you.”
They keep sitting on that bench for another hour, chatting about this and that, when Aki’s phone suddenly buzzes and she almost drops it. Despite that, she bravely opens the message she got.
“It’s from Miki,” she says, her eyes skimming over the message. She looks up at Makoto, her eyes a little watery. “She wants to meet me.”
Makoto smiles at her. “I’m glad that worked out.”
Aki laughs a little nervously and a little relieved. “Me too. Thank you, Tachibana-kun.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
“Sorry for taking so much of your time.” Aki puts her phone away and stands. “I guess it’s time to go now.”
Makoto stands as well. “It’s been nice to talk to you again. We should stay in contact too.”
Aki gives him one last sunflower smile. “Definitely. I hope everything works out for you as well!”
They part at the bench, going in different directions, and Makoto hopes he made the right decision, walking past the soulmark reveal point and towards the station.
Makoto enters Haru and his apartment and already opens his mouth to say “I’m home,” but stops short when he sees both Rin and Haru in the hallway. At first he thinks he’s imagining things, but he blinks a few times, and they’re still standing there.
“Makoto! Finally!” Rin says, rushes forward to Makoto and immediately grabs his hands and inspects his wrists. “Thank fuck. I thought you were getting the soulmark!”
Rin looks up at Makoto, his red eyes glinting accusingly and at the same time relieved.
Makoto is confused.
“I was planning to, but… I decided against it after all.”
“Haven’t you checked your phone?” Now Rin’s voice sounds a lot more accusing, and Makoto pulls his hands back out of Rin’s grasp and frowns.
“After being ignored for so long I thought there was no need to look at it,” he uncharacteristically says out of spite and immediately regrets it when Rin suddenly looks guilty.
“Sorry,” they both say at the same time.
“Is that why you’re here?” Makoto then asks and his eyes flicker to Haru, who’s leaning on the wall, looking a little angry.
“Yeah, I heard from Gou what happened and I thought you only went because she got mad at you, and I… I didn’t want you to for a reason like that.”
Makoto’s chest feels warm all of a sudden. “Sorry for worrying you,” he says, but Rin looks down, as if ashamed.
“I guess I’m the one who should apologize for ignoring you. And there’s another thing… I’m also here because I want to talk to you, both of you.” Rin looks between Makoto and Haru for emphasis.
Rin takes a deep breath. “First of all, Makoto. I think you should tell Haru why you don’t want to get your soulmark. I think we all should say what we actually feel for once.”
Makoto feels trapped, but even so, he thinks that Rin is right. He remembers Aki and his own advice to her. Maybe he should do the same. Maybe things can work out if they are honest with each other.
“You’re right,” Makoto says, then turns to Haru and all of a sudden, his throat is dry again and chest feels tight. Even though he has decided, it’s hard to get the words out. It feels like he’s fighting a battle against his fear. Much like his fear of the water.
“I… I didn’t want to get my soulmark because…” He takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Haru.”
Haru’s eyes actually widen at that in surprise and he stands up straight, eyes focused on Makoto.
Makoto, however, turns to Rin. “But I’m also in love with you, Rin.”
Rin’s eyes get even wider than Haru’s. Makoto can understand that this is surprising though, given his own confusion about it all.
“You… what?”
“I think I fell in love with you, too. I love you both.” After repeating it, Makoto’s heart suddenly speeds up in fear. What if Rin and Haru won’t understand the way Aki did? What if they think what Makoto feels is impossible?
“I- I mean, it’s apparently possible to love more than one person at a time - it even has a name! It’s, uh, what was it again, poly- polyamorous!” Makoto is babbling and he knows it, but he can’t stop because he’s too afraid that if he stops, Rin and Haru will be disgusted by him.
“Makoto,” Haru interrupts him, speaking up for the first time. “I’m in love with both of you, too.”
Makoto feels stunned. “You… you are?”
Haru nods.
“I…” Rin throws in, clears his throat. “I am, too.”
Suddenly, Makoto feels like the world is upside down. It’s like he’s standing beside himself again, feeling a little faint, because this can’t be real. His life can’t be this smooth. It’s impossible that Rin and Haru feel the same way he does. How could it be possible?
“Is this a dream?” Makoto hears himself ask, though he hears it muffled as though through a door. He thinks he’s really going insane now.
“Makoto? Are you alright?” Rin is suddenly beside him and putting a hand on his arm, and Makoto can’t feel the touch.
“I don’t think I am,” he says. “I think I need to sit down.”
The next thing he knows is that he’s sitting on the couch in the living room, Rin on his right and Haru on his left side, both kneeling on the floor in front of him. It’s a weird, surreal situation. But Makoto can breathe a little better now and he can feel Rin’s touch now.
“Sorry, I think I just… panicked a little.”
Rin’s lips are pressed together tight. “You really scared me there.”
Haru nods.
“I really didn’t imagine it to go like that, that we’re all…”
“Feeling the same?” Rin grins at him. “Never expected that at all.”
Haru grunts in agreement.
“So it’s real? This is not a dream?”
“As real as ever. I definitely didn’t imagine my run over here after reading your message about the soulmark.” Rin sighs, gets up and sits down next to Makoto and Haru does the same on his other side.
“So… what now?” This time it’s Rin who asks.
“We’re dating,” Haru answers, looking from Makoto to Rin and back to Makoto.
“We’re dating,” Makoto repeats. He still can’t quite believe that this is reality.
“Now I feel compelled to say it too, why are you two like this? We’re obviously dating.” Rin leans back into the couch, closes his eyes and sighs contentedly.
Makoto and Haru lean back as well, though Makoto does it more to be on the same level as Rin than comfort. It’s now that Makoto notices the dark circles underneath Rin’s eyes. Maybe Rin had been thinking about this more than he lets on, and maybe there’s still even more that Makoto has yet to learn. He smiles at that thought.
“Rin, why don’t you stay over tonight?” Makoto offers, hoping it might help Rin not to have to travel with how tired he looks.
Rin cracks one eye open, grinning. “We only just confessed and you’re already suggesting that?”
Makoto loses the fight against the warmth in his cheeks. “Rin.”
“Makoto,” Rin replies, still grinning.
Haru leans down on Makoto’s shoulder suddenly, worming an arm around Makoto’s waist, and when Makoto looks at him, he has his eyes closed and a small, cute smile on his face.
“Good idea,” Rin says, still grinning, and leans on Makoto’s other shoulder, somehow manages to worm his arm between Haru’s and around Makoto’s waist. “That’s really comfortable.”
“Am I a pillow?” Makoto asks in mock exasperation, and both Haru and Rin grunt in affirmation.
Makoto chuckles and lays his head back against the couch. Closes his eyes too.
When Rin came here and revealed his mark, Makoto would have never imagined this outcome. Now he feels spent and exhausted from all the worrying he’s done. But also happy.
He guesses not all change is chaotic. Or maybe not all chaotic change is all that bad.
The next day Makoto wakes first, and knows it’s definitely not a dream. The crick in his neck feels too real, but despite the discomfort, he still feels happy.
They fell asleep on the couch last night, and Makoto is sure there’ll be a little chaos when Haru and Rin wake up, because it’s the middle of the week and they are still star swimmers with a schedule.
But somehow, he feels like it’s going to be alright. They all have each others’ backs, after all.