Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dan lifted himself out of the man's car, wincing at the pain from the soreness that racked his body. This guy had been a bit rough with him. But, it payed off in the 60 pounds the man payed him for his service. 

Dan barely had shut the door before the man sped off into the dark. Dan limped a little to the brick wall behind a club on the shady side of town where a lot of other prostitutes hung around waiting for buisness. 

He spotted Carrie coming towards him and he forced a small smile to assure her everything was fine...it didn't work however, as she saw right through him and that attempt to walk without limping. 

"Was he too rough?"

Dan sighed. "A little, yeah. Where's Emma?"

"She got picked up about half an hour ago. She should be back before too long. The guy drove a Mercedes too. So she'll probably make a pretty penny"

Dan nodded. A little over a year ago when he turned to prostitution, it certainly wasn't something he wanted to do, but he had to survive. Just like everyone else out here. They weren't doing it for the hell of it, or because they liked it. It's just the last option in many of their cases. But when he was new to the whole thing, Carrie and Emma immediately took him under their wing, taught him about safety precautions and how to get out when things might take a bad turn. The two of them were almost like mothers to him.

A black Mercedes pulled up and Carrie looked to Dan with her eyebrows raised as Emma jumped out of the car with a grin. 

Carrie called her over. 

Dan laughed. "Looks like somebody had a good pay"

"A hundred and fifty pounds!" Emma exclaimed.

"Holy mother of god! What the hell kind of blowjob did you give him?!" Carrie gaped.

Dan gave Emma a high five. "Keep finding clients like that and you'll be driving a Mercedes!"

A half hour later another man showed up on the street corner behind the club, Carrie went up to the window and a few minutes later motioned for Dan. 

"No rest for the weary, yeah?" He said to Emma before getting up off the ground.  

"I reckon not. Be careful, Dan"

"Yes mom" He giggled.

"Yeah, yeah" Emma laughed back. 

Carrie patted Dan on the back. "Go get 'em, kid"

Dan gave her a thumbs up before ducking into the car and riding off.

Chapter Text

Headlights appear at the top of the street, glaring sharply into the pitch black of the night. Carrie senses something isn't right with how the driver slams on the brakes when he pulls up. The door flies open and Dan is thrown onto the concrete. He is almost run over as the driver floors the gas and speeds off. 

He has blood coming from his mouth and shiny blue and purple covering a large portion of his body. His shirt is nowhere to be found and his ribs are showing slightly through his skin.There are briuses and scratches littering all over the boy and he is one bad kick away from unconsciousness. 

"FUCKING HELL EMMA GO GET HELP NOW"

"Wait wh- OH MY GOD DAN"

"FUCKING GO GET SOMEONE. NOW!"

It was a surreal blur as Emma ran to the front of the club, not having to deal with any security guard because of how truly sketchy and unprofessional this place was. Her body slammed into something in the doorway. Something which moved and gasped with a "sorry!"

There were no lights on the front of the actual club, either. But the dim streetlights across from the street gave her just enough visibility to see that it was a man, a very tall one with a lanky frame. Probably around six feet.

And granted at any normal time, Emma knew it would be completely mental to trust random stranger who has been at a sketchy nightclub all night to take your friend off across the city. But in a desperate time such as this, as harsh as it may come across, it frankly wouldn't matter if this man was a serial killer or not as Dan was about to die anyway. It was worth a shot.

 "OH THANK GOD PLEASE PLEASE COME WITH ME MY FRIEND IS BEATEN BEHIND THE CLUB CAN YOU PLEASE HELP"

 The man's voice returned.

"Woah okay wait. Calm down. Tell me what happened."

"WHEN HE CAME BACK THEY THREW HIM OUT OF THE CAR AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS ABOUT TO DIE PLEASE"

The man spoke again in a calm and steady tone.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Emma! My name's Emma. Sir please!"

"Okay Emma. My name is Phil and I want you take me to him and I'll get him to the hospital alright? You can come too if you want. There's no way an ambulance will get all the way on this side in under half an hour"

And to the perspective of this said random stranger called Phil, it was likely not the best idea to agree to follow a strange girl to the back of a club such as this, at 2 AM because she apparently needed his help with her friend. She could be bait to some kind of kidnapping or murder for all he knew. But Phil simply had too big of a heart to consider that possibility for too long.  

"Thank you so much sir! He's behind the club follow me"

She grabbed this "Phil" by the arm and ran with him.

They came to another woman was kneeled over a young man crying. Phil shifted his sight to the boy and felt shivers go down his spine. He looked absolutely mauled. There was a possibilty he may not even survive the trip to the ER. Phil felt his legs suddenly felt weak but he swallowed and tried to stay calm.

"Emma!"

 Emma bent down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Carrie listen, this guy is going to get Dan to the hospital, alright?" 

"Carrie, right?" Phil asked.

She nodded frantically. 

"I'm Phil. You two are welcome to come with me if it helps you trust me, alright?"

"Yes, yes. Okay. Let's go"

Phil knelt to put his arms under the back of Dan's knees and neck to pick him up bridal style and run to the his black Sonata in the parking lot. 

Carrie jumped in the back and Phil layed Dan inside carefully to not further his injurie and situtated him to have his head in Carrie's lap. 

Emma got in the front seat and Phil slid behind the wheel and slammed the door.  

Phil took a breath a started the car and began to drive. 

It seemed quite unrealistic and odd. Like a dream, or perhaps a badly written story. What was to happen now? Some poetic whirlwind romance to begin spurring between him and one of these people in his car right now? Yeah right. This isn't a John Green book.  

In Phil's twenty three years, never had such an absurd and and surreal series of events happened so quickly.

But maybe Phil would soon learn that such a chain as this may bring an unexpected healer to mend his broken heart.

That maybe the dying boy in the backseat just might end up saving him instead. 

 Or maybe not. After all we must remember, this isn't a John Green book. 

Chapter Text

"SHIT! Emma!"

Emma turned her head from the front seat to make sure nothing else had happened to Dan.

"What is it?"

"Emma what the hell are we going to tell the hospital?"

Phil looked back in the mirror. "What do you mean?"

"Oh fuck, you don't know either" Carrie said scared that Phil would get mad when he realized that he had a bunch of street whores in his car. 

Emma breathed.  "Promise you won't be mad?"

"Of course I won't be mad now what happened? "

"Ssso..us-and Dan...are um, p-prostitutes. And Dan...went with someone. When they came back they threw him out of the car in this condition and so we panicked and looked for help and then we found you.."

Phil's heart broke. He hated the idea that people have to sell themselves for sex so they could eat. Especially someone so young like Dan. He barely looked 18, what in the world was he doing on the streets?

Phil took a deep breath trying not to cry. He wishes he wasn't so sensitive.

"Listen" he spoke. "We are going to tell the hospital that all of us were at the club and he went outside for fresh air. He didn't come back for a while so we went out to check on him and we found him like this."

"Okay. Okay that sounds-..okay."

Phil swallowed. He was worried about something else, but he was much to afraid to ask. 

Emma furrowed her brow at him. He looked distressed, and who wouldn't be, but she sensed it wasn't something she already knew.

"Phil is something else wrong?"

Phil breathed in. "I'm afraid I'll sound like a dick if I ask.."

"Phil, you agreed to take a three total strangers to the hospital with no hesitation and you've been really nice. There's no way you are a dick no matter what's bothering you" Carrie reassures him in a small shaky voice.

"I...I'm just wondering...because when I carried Dan I got his blood on me...is- is he...clean?"

"Oh. Listen if it helps, Dan is extremely adamant about using protection. So you have nothing to worry about. If they refuse, he knows how to get out."

Phil breathes out. "Ok..okay that's good.I'm really sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. You're a good thinker. You've already helped us more than you could ever understand."

--------

Ten minutes away from the hospital. 

"Dan, can you hear me? We are almost there. You're going to be okay" Carrie said as she cradled his head and brushed his fringe from his face. 

Dan grunted. "Hurts. Hurts so much" His voice broke with the last word and Phil felt his eyes sting and his face felt hot. 

No no no not now you don't even know this boy. Stop being so weak. That's why Adam left you because he was sick of your crybaby bullshit. He was right you're a pathetic little bitch. So knock it off. Now.

---------

Dan felt arms lifting him up. Strong arms. Safe arms. He felt them running. He gasped and struggled to breathe as his skin felt like it was on fire and a hot knife was piercing straight through his side. He cried out, trembling and grabbing the person's shirt and mumbling and wanting the pain to stop. A calm, low voice from the person whispered into his ear calling him by name saying he was safe. 

"You're okay, you're going to be just fine, okay Dan?"

Dan whimpered. The pain was paralyzing him to the point he couldn't speak. 

Phil ran through the ER doors carrying Dan and Carrie and Emma not far behind him.

"Somebody! Please help him!"

Three nurses wheeled a gurney to where he was standing. He layed Dan down on it and pried his hands from their grip on his shirt. They rushed him down the corridor. 

Carrie grabbed Emma's shoulder and leaned her face into it, sobbing as Emma held her head. 

Phil excused himself to the bathroom. 

---------

 He pressed his back against the cold, sterile tile and slid down to the floor. His wrists itched and he pushed back the sleeve of his yellow flannel to trace his fingers across pink lines. 

Three months ago, his boyfriend walked out of their flat. Every Friday night since then, his friends dragged him to the club, even though Phil didn't drink, only to get shitfaced and Phil would end up leaving on his own every time. 

Two weeks ago he tried to jump from the window of he and Ad-....just his... fifth story flat.  But he sat on the sill looking down at his feet dangling and the wind swaying his legs. Back and forth, back and forth. It would be so easy. So effortless. No more crying. No more blaming himself. So why was he so afraid? It would only hurt for a split second. Why is it so hard to just lean foward two or three inches? God, was he such a pussy that he couldn't even do this one thing right? Was Adam right? Of course he was. Phil was weak. He was just in everyone's way. But, why was something deep inside him telling him to stop?  He crawled back inside and spent the next three hours on the floor curled up crying.

An hour and a half ago he was leaving the club alone once again. He bumped into a girl and immedately apologized and cursed himself for being such a klutz. 

Fifteen minutes ago he was running into the ER carrying a complete stranger. A stranger who stared up at him with the most beautiful, haunted, big, chocolate eyes he had ever seen as he set him on the gurney. A stranger who cried out as Phil removed his shaky, tanned, slim fingers from their death grip on his flannel shirt. Part of Phil wanted to cry out too but- oh god. Oh god no. 

Here he was fifteen minutes later trying to erase the swimming image of big chocolate eyes staring up at him from his mind. Trying to stop himself from getting too attached to a boy who might die anyway. Trying not to fall for a stranger who wouldn't fall for him. Trying not to fall at all. Wishing he had fallen from his window. 

Just a weak, pathetic little crybaby, bitch. 

Chapter Text

Phil gathered himself and sucked in a breath, turning the handle and pushing open the heavy wooden door. 

Carrie and Emma were sat on a couch by the window. Well, Carrie was sitting. Emma was layed down with her head on her friend's lap, asleep. Phil took a seat beside them. 

"P-Phil?"

He looked up at her.

"Thank you. So godamn much. You don't understand how much I mean that."

"It was no problem. I promise."

"You know you don't have to..stay..if you don't want. Once Dan is out, we can find a shelter. You've done more than enough"

Phil gave her a half smile. "I want to stay. I want to make sure he's alright."

Carrie smiled. "Alright then, Mr. Phil...?"

"Lester"

"Ah. Phil Lester. Mine's Fletcher."

Phil nodded. "Carrie Fletcher.Nice name."

"Well thank you"

--------

Two hours of sitting in the waiting room watching some American confrontational talk show with a man that shared a name with Phil, a short, brunette nurse looked up from a clipboard.

"Dan Howell?"

Carrie shook Emma gently as the three of them stood and followed the nurse to another hallway where she gestured to a door and lead them into the room. 

"His injuries are mostly external, which is a very good thing. However he does a sprained wrist and a fractured rib with very minor internal bleeding. We might keep him here overnight just to make sure that the bleeding doesn't start again. We'll let you take him home sometime tomorrow. His body was in shock from the pain when you brought him in but we've given him plenty of painkillers to bring him out of that. He is asleep but, you can wake him if you want to talk."

"Thank you" Carrie whispers. 

The nurse nods and walks over to kneel by Dan's bed, lightly tapping him on the shoulder and cooing "Dan..Dan your friends are here"

Dan blinks slowly. Trying to rub his eyes he strecthes out his arm, only to wince and retreat it to his side again.

"Careful there. Don't hurt yourself" the nurse smiles and leaves the room. 

Dan looks over at a tall, pale, but very attractive man with black hair standing in the corner. And he's slightly confused. He's seen him before, but he's not sure where.

"Dan, this is Phil. He took all of us to the hospital and carried you in here"

Dan part his lips, pausing, then breathing in. He was the handsome one with the pretty eyes and the nice,...safe ar-so it wasn't just a dream. "Ohhh. You were the one who..oh no..did i ruin your shirt?" Dan asked with a dissapointed look.  

Phil glances down at the blood on his clothes. "Oh, no no it's fine. Don't worry about it. Not your fault." 

"I'm really sorry"

Phil smiled at him sweetly. "It's totally fine, I promise."

Carrie swore she saw Dan blush. 

"Well look who's getting all tickled over Phil here" she giggled. 

Dan's eyes went wide. "What? No! I..I just...I'm glad he isn't mad about the lovely shirt I ruined. That's all.."

Phil grinned and stood down at his shoes as pinpricks of heat crawled up his neck. 

Emma chimed in. "So, Dan. They're probably going to release you tomorrow. So me and Carrie might share this little recliner chair thing tonight. " she gestured to the gray vinyl chair in the corner. "And when you get out we'll find a shelter or something until we can afford a cab to the other side of the city again. But you aren't going to be going off with any customers for a while until you feel better. Me and Carrie can use our earnings to help you out. Sound good?"

Dan nodded sleepily. 

Phil looked up. No, they couldn't go back there. He couldn't bear the thought of letting any of them go back to that dreadful place. His heart leaped before his mind could rationalize and before he could think about it too much- 

"Woah, wait. He's too hurt to go back there. I- I can't let you all go back to..that. Carrie, how about you and Emma stay in my flat tonight. I've got two bedrooms and I can sleep on the couch. I have plenty of food in the kitchen and hot water to shower. Then once Dan is realeased maybe you'd want to stay for a little while? Please"

Carrie and Emma looked at him like they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"P-Phil you've already done so much for us. I mean, we're just strangers to you. We couldn't possibly ask you to-..there's no way we can repay you for everything you've already done, much less your kindness in this offer" Emma reasoned. 

Phil shook his head. "I don't need any repayment. Just..let me take care of you all..please. I really want to"

Carrie breathed.  "You're absolutely sure you don't mind?"

Phil smiled. "I'm positive. The flat's been kind of lonely lately..it would be nice to have some company, friends, around"

Carrie and Emma threw themselves at him for a hug which he returned, smiling and giggling with his tongue poking out a little through his teeth. 

"T-thank you so much"

"There's no need. It'll be nice to have some friends"

Still not John Green. But....maybe a little closer to it than Phil would have ever thought possible in real life. 

Maybe. 

Chapter Text

Peace

Warmth

That's something none of the other beds he'd been in recently had provided him. Those beds were nothing but rough and scary hands all over his body and bruises and teeth and tongue and lust. Not passion, not love, not pleasure. Not for Dan anyway.  On his part, it was just moaning and whining just enough to fake an orgasm and make it seem like he didn't feel disgusting and dirty. 

So then, where the hell was he?

Dan sat up at lightning speed, but stifled a cry of pain coming from his side when he did so. No one else in the bed so that's a good-ish sign. 

The duvet had a blue and green grid covering the expanse of it. He wasn't naked either. 

Wait, the hospital gave him these clothes. Grey sweatpants and a white T shirt. 

Now how the fuck did he end up in th-

Oh. This is that man with the black hair's house. 

Dan blinks. 

This must be that man's room. 

Ph...Phineas? No that wasn't it. Phi..Phil? Phillip? Phil. Yeah, Phil. That sounded right. 

Slowly and quietly, Dan crawled out of the bed and opened the door and peeked out. He stepped out into a very short hallway and quietly walked on the carpet, hearing a few voices laughing and talking until he found what must be Phil's living room. Emma, Carrie, and the Phil guy were sat on the floor around a card table playing a game. A brightly colored box on the floor read 'TRUTH BOMBS'. 

"Well look who's awake" Carrie cooed. 

Dan laughed softly. 

"Hi Dan, you want to come play?" Phil says.

Something in him flickered when Phil smiled at him, but he quickly dismissed it. Don't get too comfortable, Howell. He's probably disgusted by you anyway. 

But Dan nodded anyway. Impulses often beat out instinct. And we have yet to find out if this will mean good or bad things for Dan.

---------

22:00, two nights later

"Hey Phil, Emma and I are going to walk to the pound store for some paper towels and bread. We'll be back in about an hour"

"Alrighty stay safe" 

"Thanks"

Emma and Carrie made their way out and Phil made his way to the den where he found Dan sitting with his legs criss-crossed and his hands in his lap, still wearing the green hoodie from Phil's university that he had let him wear. He just looked so small and sweet that Phil couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

"I think I'm going to take a shower" Dan says.

"You want me to make some tea while you do?"

Dan nods and smiles. "Sounds great. Thank you"

Phil goes back to the kitchen to grab two tea bags and prepare it. He grabs a cat mug and a Doctor Who mug from the cupboard.

He puts the kettle on the stove and waits for the water to boil. After a few minutes, it whistles violently and heavy steam rises, letting him know it was ready. 

Phil carefully removes it from the stovetop and starts pouring it into one of the mugs when a faint thud catches his attention. He tenses up and scrunched his brow. A distant whine throws him into panic mode. Quickly, be sets the kettle on the cool side of the stove. 

He runs to the bathroom as fast as possible and frantically knocks on the door. 

"Dan, are you alright?! Can I come in?"

A desperate whimper comes from the other side pleading "Ph-Phil..please..h-help"

Phil threw the door open and found Dan on the floor with a damp towel messily thrown across his hips in a desperate attempt to cover himself. The poor boy was curled into a fetal position clutching the side he had originally fractured his rib and blood was coming out of his knee. 

"Oh my god Dan! Dan, hey, hey listen okay? I'm here. I'm going to pick you up and put you on the bed okay? You will be more comfortable there until I can figure out what to do"

Dan nodded weakly and continued whimpering and trying to process what Phil just said. Something about putting him somewhere more comfortable. This was probably going to hurt. Oh no he was naked as well. He didn't know why it should bother him, as he'd gotten very used to being naked for strangers but, this wasn't sexual. He felt cold and exposed but was in too much pain to care.

Phil kneeled to the floor to get Dan into his arms bridal style, both trying to mind keeping hands in respectful places for the sake of both Dan's privacy and the fact that a wrong move could seriously injure his rib further.

Dan cried out. It hurt so much and he instinctively gripped Phil's shirt gasping. There were knives and fire running all the way down his left side. 

Phil had no trouble lifting him from the floor but the towel hopelessly slipped away but modesty was the least of either of their worries. 

Phil kept his eyes on Dan's face scrunching and put on the softest, lowest tone he could.  

"Dan, look at me, okay?"

Dan unscrunched his eyes to stare up at Phil the same way he had before. And Phil looked down at two beautiful, glassy, deep brown eyes. God knows what kind of hurt and terror layed underneath. 

"You're going to be alright. I promise."

Phil started to make his way quickly through the flat saying reassuring things like this over and over to keep Dan calm.

He makes it to the bedroom and gently places Dan on the bed. 

"Stay here and try to relax while I call someone to see what to do"

Dan nods and Phil runs back to the den to grab his phone. 

He later that night would find himself staring up in the dark, trying to erase the same swimming image of big brown eyes from his mind. Trying desperately to keep himself from falling for someone who would never love him...but this time..glad he didn't jump..strangely enough. He was glad he was alive and he had no idea why. Maybe he was just happy to have new roomates.

Yeah that's it.

Definitely.

Chapter Text

Three days without moving from the bed other than absolutely necessary. To the bathroom and to bathe, just to make sure nothing else interfered with his body's healing process. Dan had already been injured prior the his slip in the shower, and so said slip did not help him out at all. 

The doctor Phil had called to come by had sentenced, er, prescribed, Dan three days of rest, and Phil, Emma, and Carrie were more than willing to make sure their friend was as comfortable as possible. 

----------

"Rise and shine sleepyhead" Carrie poked at his cheeks and ruffled his hair. 

Dan groaned. Light flooded from Phil's bedroom window and burned straight into his retinas. Dan half-whimpered and nuzzled his head under the covers again.

Carrie laughed and grabbed the blue and green comforter and flopped it over, exposing a curled up and sleepy Daniel huddled against the mattress. 

"Daylight's 'a burnin', kid. Hey, Phil said he'd be in here to change the sheets and give you breakfast in a few minutes. I've got a job interview the at Tesco's down the street."

Dan smiled and raised his hand into a sloppy salute. "Yes ma'am"

"Adda boy" she grinned before leaving the bedroom once again. 

Five minutes later, Phil came in balancing a laundry basket of sheets on his hip. 

"Alright Dannyboy I hate to disturb you in your nest" he playfully poked at the lump wiggling under the sheets "but we have to change the sheets." 

Dan peeped his head out from under the sheets. "Okay" He tried to roll over in an attempt to get up, but was greeted with a "woah woah wait I'll help you". Phil set the basket down and gently helped Dan first sit up, then sat on the edge of the bed to wrap Dan's arm around his shoulder and helped him onto his feet and over to a beanbag in the corner of the room. 

"Can I help you change the sheets?"

Phil shook his head. "I can do it, I don't want you to work yourself too much" 

"Ok Doc" Dan giggled.

---------

Sometimes Dan had nightmares. 

Sometimes Dan cried because of them. 

Sometimes it could be heard through the thin wall seperating the lounge where currently Phil sleeped, and Phil's bedroom where the ebony haired man insisted Dan sleep. 

And sometimes Phil listened to Dan cry. 

And one time Phil decided to try and help.

And one time was tonight. 

---------

Phil pressed his ear to the door and felt his heart sink a little when small, faint whimpers, chokes, and gulps of tears came from the other side.

He raised his hand up the the door, and gently knocked with the knuckles of his first two fingers. 

"Dan? Are you alright? Is it okay if i come in?"

A small, broken, timid voice comes from behind the door.

"go ahead"

Phil turns the handle and tip toes in. 

"Dan?"

"....y-yes phil?"

Phil feels his heart beat a little faster. "Is something wrong?"

"what makes you say that?"

"Oh I just um...I heard you..you know, crying. I wanted to check on you."

"oh. oh phil im terribly sorry i didn't mean to keep you awake, i didn't think it was that loud. i'll be quiet." 

"No, no, I just wanted to see if you're alright"

"i'm okay phil. really, i didn't mean to cause you any trouble"

Phil crept over to kneel down at the side of the bed, facing other boy. "Nonsense. Talk to me, Dan"

Dan took a breath. "i had a bad dream"

"What was it about?"

"th-the man"

"What man?"

"the one that h-urt m-me"

"You mean the one that...oh..oh, Dan.."

"he-..i, i don't know what to do. i know i'll probably never see him again but the memory still terrifies the shit out of me"

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

Dan's eyes widened in slight fear. "you mean like..?"

"No! No, no, not like that. Not like that at all. I meant like..can I hug you? I just didn't want to do it if it wasnt okay with you as I know this is..difficult..for you."

Dan breathed in relief. "oh, sure then"

Phil slowly leaned forward to wrap his arms around the younger boy. Dan let the tears he'd been holding back since Phil came in slip from his eyes and soak into the shoulder of Phil's shirt. 

They stayed like that for a minute or two before Phil squeezed him a little and let go, leaning back into his position kneeling by the bed and reached over the the tissue box on the nightstand. Handing Dan a tissue, he asked "Is there anything I can do?"

Dan sniffed and shook his head. " 'ts ok. thank you so much Phil. im sorry"

"Hey, hey it's no problem at all. No need to be sorry, and if you ever need me, you know where I live" he joked.

Dan giggled and nodded. "thank you. I'll let you go back to sleep now. G'night"

"Goodnight, Dan" he said, getting up and walking towards the door and back to the lounge. 

 Phil layed back down. Dan's little giggle replayed in his head over and over again, each time making his chest tighten and leap.

Fuck.