Chapter Text

Steve, Steven & Stephen

(Or The One Where Steven Is Caught In The Middle)

Steve cast a careful glance around, looking for a subtle hint of his date’s arrival. Though admittedly, subtle was literally non-existent in Tony Stark’s active vocabulary.

The restaurant was reasonably well frequented and given the time of the day, almost every table was taken, forcing Steve to find a free spot at the bar. He didn’t mind though, he was certain Tony and he would never make it to dessert without destroying the whole building.

Instead, Steve had settled on beer which he now drank painfully slow.

“Aloha friend, you want anything else?” The bartender asked, clearly eager to sell more than just one drink. Steve declined with a smile and a wave of his hand and completely missed the bartender’s disappointed look as his attention had already returned to the entrance.

“Are you sure about that?” The voice was unfamiliar and Steve whipped his head around only to come face to face with a tall guy whose outfit was … outright ridiculous, given the temperature, aside from the fact that the guy wore a skirt or dress of some sort, topped off with a long red cloak.

The stranger ignored Steve’s scandalized face and took the spot right next to him, while he went on. “I’ve been told, the laulau here is extraordinary and a must-have.”

Steve had yet to find his voice again, but the stranger’s well-groomed beard and hair didn’t go unnoticed. It reminded the soldier strongly of … Tony.

“Of course, I wouldn’t know, unfortunately, I have a special diet to stick with—inter-dimensional travels and everything—but a mutual friend of ours mentioned the value of Hawaiian food. Well, mutual friend might not be the right term, considering you almost killed him.” The stranger folded his hands in front of his chin and blankly stared at Steve with a smile that never reached his eyes but was full of sass.

Steve finally opened his mouth. “Tony sent you?” Admittedly, Steve was hurt by that realization—he had hoped to clear the air between them—but found himself also slightly angered. Tony could be so petty if he set his mind on it.

“You didn’t expect him to show up, after your last farewell wishes, did you?” The stranger’s voice and face remained calm and diplomatic, yet he managed to lace it with subtle disapproval. He offered Steve his hand. “My name is Doctor Stephen Strange. I am here on behalf of the Avengers.” He added stress to Avengers, making it sound as if Steve was not one of them.

Offended, Steve didn’t reach for the offered hand but instead brought some distance between himself and Strange as he rose from his chair.

“Tony agreed to meet me here. I don’t have time for his petty resentfulness.”

“Captain Rogers” Once again, Strange managed to not sound hostile yet clearly lace his words with his own kind of resentfulness. “Tony Stark agreed to communication between the Avengers and your fugitive party on behalf of this world’s best interest. He never agreed to private interaction of any kind.” Strange pointed at Steve’s vacant chair. “Take a seat, Captain. You don’t want to make a scene here. This is American soil, after all, as I’m sure you know.”

“Is that a threat?” Steve asked though he had no illusion about it. His hand curled into a fist, as he automatically slipped into a defensive stance.

“A mere reminder. It’s up to you how you take it.”

“Hey, what’ve got?” Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett asked, already slipping on his bulletproof west.

Chin perked up and followed Steve while holstering his gun.

“Hostage situation. We don’t know much, they are somehow blocking all our instruments. We tried heat signature but couldn’t get a read. And the windows—well, see for yourself.” Chin handed his boss a spyglass.

The ex-SEAL glanced through it, fully expecting to get a good look at the situation inside the restaurant only to frown. Wibbly wobbly stuff obscured the view through the restaurant’s windows, like ink of different purple and black shades slowly mingling together.

“What the…” Steve dropped the spyglass and turned to Chin, who was now joined by Kono.

“How do we even know there’s a hostage situation?” Steve asked.

“We’ve got a call” Kono answered in Chin’s place. “From inside, before all the lines went dead. It sounded like heavy fighting in the background—though no shots were fired so far.”

“Okay…” Steve mused.

“No” Danny piped in from the side, carefully observing his friends changing expression.

“No” He repeated more determined.

Steve gave him a quizzical look.

“You’ve got a face” Danny explained angrily.

“No, I’ve not” Steve defended himself half-heartedly.

“The answer is no, okay. To whatever you’ve got planned: No!”

“Danny, we need a man in there. We need to know what’s going on.” Steve said calmingly.

“Yeah, I feel like I’ve heard that before. And it always ends with us dodging bullets. So please please just this one time, let’s not do anything stupid, just for a change, can we?” Danny pleaded though he sounded less pleading than a mixture of mock and enragement.

“Okay. Okay” Steve held up his hands in a disarming manner. “You win, you’re the boss.”

Danny dramatically threw his hands in the air, followed by a worshipping gesture as he turned towards Chin and Kono. “Did you hear that? Did he say that?”

Chin grinned at him while Kono’s eyes grew wider. Her gaze had never left Steve, who used Danny’s inattention and ran towards the restaurant.

Danny noticed Kono’s look and twirled around just in time to see Steve approach the restaurant’s entrance.

“Of course!” Danny shouted after Steve, once again throwing his hands in the air for dramatic effect. “Just ignore me. What’s the matter with you and your death wish? Get help, I’ll really pay for it!”

Deep down, Danny wasn’t the least bit surprised. Not that he cared to admit.

Steve angrily stared at Strange. Both men sat at the bar, opposing each other and leaving enough empty space—safe distance—to not be tempted to engage in any physical altercation.

“Consider it a super-dimensional timeout.” Strange said almost neutral, yet Steve still felt treated like a naughty boy being scolded by a grown up.

The other guests had long but hidden under their tables. Even the bravest had run for cover not long ago, when the strange Doctor had temporarily opened a portal—with weird purple and black fog leaking out of it (The fog seemed to be conscious and alive! It had gathered at the windows and Steve swore it tried to escape!)—and threatened to throw Steve through it.

“It was all a trap, from the very beginning, wasn’t it? Tony planned this.” Anger and disappointment settled in Steve’s guts and called it their future home.

“Captain. It’s time you stop blaming the rest of the world and start taking responsibility.” Stephen said with patience though to Steve it sounded all the more mockingly.

Unnoticed by the two opposing parties the door cracked open ever so slightly as McGarrett carefully assessed the situation. The fog weirded him out, but he couldn’t spot any threat and so he used what he believed to be his lucky moment of surprise to fully enter the restaurant. The door fell shut behind him.

Steve and Stephen turned around at the same time to face the new arriver. Everybody else risked a fearful glance as well before ducking back behind cover.

McGarrett lifted his arm in a disarming manner.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” He assured the frightened people.

Steve and Stephen both frowned.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, for the first time noticing the scared guests.

“You tell me, man.” McGarrett answered. His hand slowly traveled to his concealed weapon. Something about the situation didn’t sit right with him. Call it his SEAL senses or maybe his crazy ninja skills—he knew something was off and—judging by the looks the guest kept giving them—the two men sitting at the bar were the epicenter of it.

“Who are you?” Stephen asked, his voice neutral if slightly quizzical.

“Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett.”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “Perfect. Another Steven.”

McGarrett was tempted to ask but ultimately opted to dismiss the comment. “I’m with Five-O.”

Both Steve and Stephen stared blankly at Steven, then exchanged a lost look, before facing Steven again.

“Bless you.” Stephen said dryly

Steven stared back at them, the situation was too comical to be true. His SEAL training kicked in though. “Let those people go and I’ll take it as a sign of goodwill and cooperation.”

At the ex-SEAL’s word’s Steve straightened in his seat, clearly feeling threatened and getting ready to punch his way out of it. Steven’s finger curled around the handle of his concealed gun. Stephen beat him to any reaction.

“You can’t beat your way out of every situation, Captain. It’s time you arrive in the 21^st century; we use something like words here.” Stephen said after rolling his eyes at Steve’s readiness to start a fight. Then he faced Steven. “They can go anytime they want. Contrary to what it looks like, we did not keep them against their will.”

Steven narrowed his eyes. Were these guys for real?

The whole restaurant had erupted into movement upon Strange’s declaration. People fled the building leaving only the Captain, the sorcerer and the ex-SEAL behind.

“This does not apply to me, does it?” Steve asked.

“You’re a fugitive, theoretically you are not here right now, or I’d have to arrest you.” Stephen said dryly.

Steven closed his eyes for a moment, wondering which pills those wackos in front of him were on. Somehow he felt he would have done well with listening to Danno for a change.

“Okay, gentlemen.” Steven strolled over to the bar, taking a seat between Steve and Stephen, completely ignoring the open hostility both parties were radiating. “I’m all ears.”

Steven reached over the bar and got himself a nice beer—nobody could expect him to do this sober!