Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[This is a transcription made from a series of audio tapes. Transcriber's notes will be used as needed to communicate additional details.]

I'm making this tape so that in the case of my untimely death, my child will have something to remember me by. If this should be found unsealed while I am still alive... please be aware that it's rude to listen in. You may just find your rudeness rewarded.

At the moment, my name is Shimura Hisato, and I am an eighteen year old man. I gave birth to the most wonderfully wrinkly thing just two weeks ago; her name is currently Shimura Uzume, but I want her - or rather, you - to know that I will understand, one hundred percent, if you change that name someday.

My own parents named me Kagome, actually. They were both killed in action when I was little, and I never got to know them. That's part of my motivation for making these tapes for you - because I wish my parents had left something like this. I have only the records they left within other people.

As for the other reason, well. I don't know what anyone will end up telling you about the day of your birth, but I'm sure you'll notice someday that it's the same date as the Uchiha massacre.

I had - have, a student from the Uchiha clan, and had placed a seal on her that alerted me when she was injured. Up until that day, I primarily used this to detect when Izumi was going overboard in her training. I'm incredibly glad it was there, because it is that seal that allowed her to survive.

As I'm speaking, Izumi is still unconscious. Her eyes were removed from her head, like many of the corpses we were able to recover. It's still uncertain whether she will wake again, or whether she will simply be a later casualty than most.

... Ah, sorry. Returning to the point, that night reminded me of my mortality. If I had been physically capable of rushing over the moment I felt Izumi was in danger, it's likely that I would have been killed.

I almost left you an orphan, only hours after your birth: others I've seen in that position grow up lonely and distanced from their peers. Sometimes they became incredibly jealous, or paranoid, or desperate for attention.

I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to live a full and happy life, free from resentment, even if I'm not able to be a part of it.

Tenzou and Koori, two of my most responsible friends, have promised me that they'll watch over you. But, there's already two people I know that have, for whatever reason, fallen through on such a promise. Though I don't want to think that Tenzou or Koori would betray me like that, I am planning for that possibility.

Ah, that's a little serious, isn't it. I meant to keep the first recording on a lighter note, but. Thinking about dying isn't really conducive to an amiable tone.

It feels a little awkward to say it like this, but I want you to know; I believe in reincarnation. I'm fairly certain about it, actually, and so if I do have to leave you? Please know that I'll do my damnedest to find my way back.

Also. I'm really, truly blessed that I can call myself your father. I wasn't planning to have you here and now, but I do not have any regrets. I hope that you'll be just as proud to call yourself my child, one day. I am working hard to be someone you can be proud of.

I love you. And... I'm sorry.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

I'm struggling to think of what I should share in these recordings, despite what I said the other day. When I think of what I want to leave to you, I think first of the stories that I love; so today I will share one with you. I wanted to name you after this story, actually, but the hospital wouldn't let me. Maybe it would've placed too many expectations on you, anyway.

This is my favorite story, actually, and it begins with a happy set of parents and their newborn baby boy. For eight long months, they had discussed possible names for him; it was only when they saw his darling face that the two realized that they would need an outsider's opinion if he was to have any name at all.

The couple took their precious child to a local temple, where they knew a wise and friendly priest lived.

"Please help us find an auspicious name for him," The father pleaded.

"Auspicious, hmm?" The priest's eyes wandered the room as he thought. Within the temple, there were many hanging scrolls: some were paintings that displayed scenes from important moral tales, while other scrolls held a single word.

"Jugemu... Jugemu. Yes, that has a ring to it. It uses the same characters as 'limitless life'."

Though there were few things quite as auspicious as that, the couple did not quite look satisfied, and so the priest continued; "Gokounosurikire... This comes from that legend there, of a goddess that comes to a certain rock in a certain place every thousand years, and speaks of the time it will take for her dress to shear that rock in two.

Seeing that their faces had only become more eager, the priest found himself seeking further. "How does Kaijarisuigyo sound? There are countless rocks in the sea, and innumerable numbers of fish in the water..."

"So far, that's Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo, right?" The mother said.

"Yes... Ah, Suigyoumatsu, Unraimatsu, Fuuraimatsu. As the sea, the clouds, and the wind have neither beginning nor end, they are some of nature's most relentless forces... And then, perhaps, Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro: to ensure that your son's needs are met."

Even that set of names only seemed to whet the parent's appetite for names, however. At the father's excited nodding, the priest found himself hurrying to add another. "Yaburakouji no... Burakouji..."

Only after he'd spoken did he recall that the plant was named yabukouji. Without even listening for the name's explanation, the father said, "That's Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no burakoji, right? Don't worry, we're keeping up!"

The priest nodded, though he had began to think that he was miscommunicating something... and from their reactions he decided that they were more keen on having strange and slightly exotic-sounding options, and lead up with a little story in the hopes of placating them.

"These next few names come from an ancient legend, of a country named Paipo. You see, Paipo was a western land populated by a number of incredibly long-lived people, like Paipo's king, Shuuringan, and Shuuringan's queen Guurendai, and Guurendai's children Ponpokopi and Ponpokona. Any one of their names would be an excellent choice."

"Absolutely," the mother agreed, smiling down at her sleeping son.

"I will offer you two final names, now..."

"Before that, just to be sure - Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona..."

"And Choukyuumei and Chousuke," the priest concluded.

"Wonderful!" The father said, and the couple bowed and left. And so Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousuke came to be called as such.

... Now, when Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousuke reached the age of eight or nine, he had a friend whose name was Kin, I believe. On one particular day, the two friends got into something of a fight, and Kin received a large bump on the head.

Determined to see justice, Kin ran to his parents. "Kaachan, Touchan! Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuiringan Shuiringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousuke... Hit me on the head! Just look at this bump!"

"That's awful," his mother said.

"Go and show it to his parents," Kin's father suggested. And off he went.

"Hey, hey! You're Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousu... ke's... father... Right?"

The man nodded, though he looked bemused.

"Your son hit me so hard, he left a bump!"

"Wait, my son did?! But my Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousuke would never do such a thing!"

Kin's tears didn't look fake, though, and the father found himself yelling, "Honey, hey! Come out here! Our Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoujinoburakoujipaipopaipopaiponoshuringanshuringannogurindai gurindainoponpokpiponpoknachokyumeino Chousuke hit his friend on the head!"

"Eeeeh?!" The mother came bursting out of the house, looking frantically at the little boy. "Are you sure it was our Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakouji no burakouji, Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuuringan, Shuuringan no Guurindai, Guurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona no Choukyuumei no Chousuke?"

"It doesn't seem right, does it?" The father mused. "Our Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikirekaijarisuigyonosuigyoumatsunraimatsfuuraimatskuunerutokoronisumutokoroyaburakojinoburakoji, Paipopaipopaiponoshuuringan, shuuringannoguurindai, guurindainoponpokpiponpoknachoukyuumeino Chousuke, he's always been a good boy! Let me see that bump!"

But by the time they had repeated their son's name four times, the bump had fully healed.

... Maybe it's not the most morally appropriate story, come to think of it. I would hope that afterward, Jugemjugemugokonsurikirekaijarisuigyonsuigyomatsunraimatsufuraimatskuunerutokosumutokoyaburakojinburakojipaipopaipopaino shuuringannoguurindaiguurindainponpokpiponpoknanchokyumeino Chouuuusuke went home to tell his parents the truth. They loved him a great deal, and I can't imagine that he was the kind of child to hit someone without a reason. That Kin kid most likely ran to the adults in an attempt to monopolize the narrative, and get away with whatever he himself had done to provoke the attack...

Was it alright, telling it like this? I tried to include context and some interesting vocabulary, but maybe that's a little... Hmm. Well, if I don't like this tomorrow, I'll retape it.

Either which way... Good night. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Hello! There's another story I'd like to tell you today, one that's also a favorite. The more that I think on it, the more meaning I find to it; but when I first heard it at the age of thirteen, I found it silly. Since this story is a little old, there's one reference it makes that you might not fully understand - a shamisen is a stringed instrument, one that used to be made with cat skin.

The title is an idiom that is useful in situations where two seemingly unconnected things are unexpectedly related: 'if the wind blows, the pailmaker makes money'. Now, how do those statements relate, you might be asking...

Well, if a strong wind blows against the ground today, and dirt is thrown into people's eyes, many people could become blind. After going blind, many people will buy shamisen to make a living with. Cat skin will then be in great demand and therefore, throughout the world, cats will be killed. If that happens, rats will run wild and boxes of pails that are left in the open will be chewed through. At this point, if you're a pailmaker, you'll gain plenty of business.

So if you think on it enough, the meaning to 'if the wind blows, the pailmaker makes money' becomes clear.

... Well, I didn't lose my eyesight because of the wind, but it's certainly interesting to me to think that a blind society's largest problem might be unchecked rodents. This story can also be connected to something called the 'butterfly effect', which suggests that even the flapping of a butterfly's wing can cause the world to change dramatically.

To be honest, I told you that story to tell you yet another. It's something I've never told anyone before, something I've almost never mentioned out loud.. But you deserve to know.

Mm, now that I think about it, there are a couple of things like that. But, for today, I must admit to you that I am either a traitor planted in Konoha by an unknown force or the reincarnation of a person from another world. From birth, my mind has held memories of another life. More importantly, though - I once read a manga in that world which took place in this one, and so I have had foreknowledge all along.

In the first thirteen years of this life, I mostly avoided using the knowledge I have because - well. How should I explain this?

Long ago, I tried to use it to save someone I cared deeply about, and their situation changed so much from their destind path that I no longer know any way to help them. I tried not to allow myself to care about the people whose futures I already knew after that, but... As a blind person trying to recognize people from a manga, I've been deeply unsuccessful.

The recent Uchiha incident, and the Hyuuga incident a few years ago; I knew that both events would occur, but neither quite followed my prediction, and I wasn't able to save -

Ah, but I'm getting carried away. I wanted to tell you a little about the knowledge I have, and then tell you that I've finally decided to stop avoiding it. I've been thinking for a while that it is cruel of me to let a child be when I fully understand their suffering, and how isolation will warp them.

There's plenty of room in my new home, and another set of hands to help me with you would be very welcome. Even aside from that... If I allowed Sasuke to go live alone in the home his parents were just killed in, Izumi would never forgive me.

The hospital plans to release Sasuke in a couple of hours, so I'll be kidnapping him here in a bit. Koori doesn't understand my full motivations, but she's willing to babysit you while I sort that out.

If all goes well, I won't be able to tell you much more about that manga, as I can't risk Sasuke overhearing. The future isn't really something I want you to be burdened with, anyway, and I do want to let you know that I don't know anything at all about your future. You're free to be anything, do anything, as I am. There's no destiny to push or pull us anywhere in particular.

Love you, and hope that you can find comfort in this.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Good morning. I was a little torn on what I should tell you next. And, well. I don't know when I'll die, or how much you'll know about me by the time you're listening to this... Rather than my favorite stories, perhaps I should be trying to give you an impression of who I am.

How do you believe a personality forms? What makes a person a person? Some would argue that there's such a thing as a 'soul', and it is this that makes up your consciousness and informs your behavior. There's no real evidence of such a thing, though.

I believe that a person's self is the sum of their memories: a consequence of what occurred, how they reacted to it, and the narrative they have since built for themselves. To know me, you would need to know what I've been through and how I reacted to it, basically.

Oh, this is tangential, but I got into a lecturing mood, I hope you'll forgive me. I've recently been studying the brain in more depth, and trying to confirm some theories. Our minds are essentially made from electricity and chemicals, from what I've been taught by non-ninja; so how is it that chakra can allow one person to access the mind of another? If lightning types had an advantage using illusions, then that would make more sense. They could be hijacking those electrical pulses to change a person's perception. But if this is how illusions function, then why is long-term memory alteration so much more difficult than short-term?

Wait, that's not where I should start with that matter at all. You can feel free to ignore that, and I'll explain my neurological theories on some later date, with more introduction.

Today, I intended to tell you a little about my life. Though, um, you can feel free to skip tapes at any time.

As I mentioned in my first tape, I was born as Shimura Kagome. I was born blind, and my parents really weren't expecting that. They mostly left me with Minako, one of their servants, and so I don't remember much of anything about them. They were killed by Cloud ninja on my third birthday... But Minako thinks that if they had lived, they would have eventually figured out how to be good parents.

My mother's uncle was unable to care for me at the age of three, and so I was placed in the orphanage just outside of Konoha for a few years. I made a lot of friends back then that I still speak with, like Koori and Aburame Muta.

There... Were a couple of people I regarded as siblings, also. I had an older sister named Fumiko who died a few years ago, and a little brother that was kidnapped when I was eight. I was told two months ago that he's still alive, but he's actively working against Konoha. I'm not sure if you should consider him an uncle or not.

When I was six, I went to live with my mother's uncle, Shimura Danzou. I'm going to go ahead and tell you that he's a manipulative asshole. He loves power more than anything else, so please be wary of him. I spent my time with him training, mostly, and he helped me to become a genin at only eight. Those were stressful times, and every soldier was necessary; I desperately hope that things will be different for you, if you choose to become a ninja. Though people may pressure you to graduate early, that's often a poor choice in the long-term. I think they've made it illegal to graduate before age 12 anyway.

You don't have to, by the way. Become a ninja, I mean. I think it might be better if you didn't. The shinobi lifestyle really isn't all that glamorous, and the real heroes never seem to get what they deserve -

Wait, back to the topic at hand.

At age nine, I had the opportunity to study with a woman named Ubusuna, in the Land of Hot Water. She's a storyteller and a magician, and I greatly admire her; but she also has her own agenda. She isn't someone you should trust easily, either, though she can certainly teach you great things.

Our clans - Shimura and Ubusuna - share a number of techniques. Long before they were shinobi, our ancestors were monks and priests. It's a weird sort of heritage, but I'm finding that I can appreciate it a great deal as I get older, and I hope the same for you.

I'm a little hesitant to publish details about our sealing style, but... Before you can use it in any real way, you need to know the names and forms of the eight trigrams. You must also be capable of distinguishing yin chakra from yang, and controlling them separately.

Everything you'll need to know afterward is a secret that has been carefully kept for generations. Ubusuna, Danzou, and myself are the only practitioners left, and they're both so old. Our secrecy may well lose this knowledge to the world.

Ah, that's not the point. I stirred up quite a lot of trouble in the Land of Hot Water, unfortunately, although I also gained experience as a professional storyteller. I may have been responsible for some property damage, among... Other things. It's not a time that I'm proud of, and I would understand if you found my actions from then unforgivable.

Ubusuna recognized the pit I'd dug for myself around the time I turned thirteen. At her suggestion, I spent several months at a temple in a Hot Water village called Himura. Initially, it was a bit depressing. Like many of the other adults I've learned from, the monks there were uncertain how to handle my blindness. My arrogant attitude didn't endear me to them, either.

Eventually, though, I made a couple of friends. One has since passed on, but I've kept correspondence with the other. If you should ever have a reason to be in Himura, her name is Mokuren, and she's the temple's chef. I liked to call her Yoki, from the phrase 'the good old days', and she knew me by the name Ritsu... She's truly a kind person, and exceptionally talented at chakra sensing.

One day, though, Ubusuna returned to the temple with a letter for me from Konoha. I left the temple that day without proper goodbyes, something that Mokuren has nagged me about in her letters, but I did not know that anyone would miss me there.

The more I've thought about it, the more I've been able to appreciate the lessons I was given at that temple. I am more of a scientist than a religious person, but there are aspects of Buddhism that I find incredibly appealing. The cycle of Samsara, the focus on neutrality rather than ultimate good, and the associations used to explain the natural world... Isn't it all incredibly appealing?

I don't think that I can make up for my wrongdoings, no matter how long I live. I am sure that I will live again, though it may be as a beast or a demon. From a scientific perspective, this is a little strange - if a person is the sum of their memories, how can they exist again after death? But like the exustence of chakra, it's an everyday mystery.

Wow, even though I distracted myself so frequently, I managed to sum up the first thirteen years of my life with ease. I once dedicated two months to building myself a narrative regarding those years, you know? That tape is a lot more in-depth, of course... And a little gruesome at times.

I think that I might make it accessible to you, in the event of my death. But, uh, only after you're - well, I was thirteen when I made it, so let's go with thirteen. If I die while you're younger than that, please wait to listen to it.

I'm sorry if I've bored you, carrying on as I have. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

It's been a while since I've recorded a message for you, though not much has changed; Izumi's physical injuries have healed, but she has yet to wake up. I'm more and more confident that she will, based on what we can monitor of her brain activity. And as for Sasuke... Well, I'll come back to him.

This one will be picking up where I left off on my life story, so if you're not interested, feel free to skip. I don't remember exactly what point I left you at, though I know I vaguely covered everything from the other set of tapes I'm leaving. But there's a couple of details I'd like to go back for, and after that I'll be discussing the last five years with far more detail.

About the temple at Himura... while living there, I was not permitted to eat fish, meat, or out-of-season meals. I studied deities, demons, and rituals; toward the end of my stay I spent ridiculous amounts of time meditating. There was a particular day which has since fostered my earnest belief in spiritual power, a day on which I began to sense a new kind of energy during meditation.

Now, I initially wrote this off. There's a portion of the parietal lobe of your brain which, when stimulated by magnetic fields, produces spiritual encounters. Out-of-body experiences, or astral projection, were also associated with - oh, this is information from my world, I mean, the one I lived in before this. I suppose chakra seems to excuse that phenomenon here, although I don't want to settle for such an easy answer.

Now, the energy I sensed did feel sort of holy, and seemed to swirl throughout the air and in the trees, but I also began to detect a child whose chakra system only contained that energy. This child communicates through impressions more than words, and has been easily misunderstood thanks to that. Though I tried several times across the years to sense that child again, it was a long time before I found it and finally comprehended its message.

As I mentioned, I was called back to the Leaf after a few months at the temple. I joined Tenzou and Hatake's team after my return, and spent the better part of my first two years back focused solely on missions and training.

More than the child, the ability to sense trees had given me some hope about harnessing the true power of natural chakra. I continued to meditate, but had diminishing results. It began to take longer and longer to reach that level of awareness as I practiced... I didn't understand what I was doing wrong.

My breakthrough came during a rather strange moment, when I was captured by a few small rogue ninja group during a mission. This was intentional; I could have escaped at any time, but our original mission had been completed and I was rather curious about the group. I sent a clone to return to the village with Tenzou, and intended to disperse it early if my circumstances became more troublesome than I anticipated.

I was already fifteen then, and I looked older. The rogue ninja attempted to torture me, and eventually chose to starve me out. I listened intently to their conversations when possible, but generally slept and meditated to conserve energy. This was in Water country, and so there was a great deal of animal and plant life both with which to practice my sensory abilities. I noticed that as my week of captivity wore on, the time that it took to detect the surrounding plant life quickly decreased.

I knew from experience that this change was not just the result of time spent practicing; no, the breakthrough I needed came on my seventh day of captivity.

"Noubou akyasha kyarabaya on ari kyamari bori sowaka", I started to murmur as I woke up, feeling for the vines growing just outside my cell. "Noubou akyasha kyarabaya on ari kyamari bori sowaka."

It took only a minute for the swamp's network of roots to reveal itself to me, incomparable to the two hours I had needed when I practiced in Konoha. It was not just roots and vines that came into focus, though; I could sense the child sitting inside my cell beside me.

'You're back,' I thought at it. I don't believe I spoke out loud, but it understood nonetheless.

"I'm finally able to return because you've made it back onto the path," it managed to say, out loud, and with words.

"What path?" I asked, and rather than answering, it took my hand and pulled me up. Previously, moving had disrupted my metaphorical grasp on the surrounding flora; but with that child by my side, this did not occur. Natural energy began to trickle into my chakra system from the air, gradually strengthening me. The child released my hand when the amount I had gathered reached a certain level, and sent to me some vaguely positive feelings.

I had not gained useful information from my internment in those last few days, and had only stayed there to meditate. My clone had been released the day before, and I had already been planning to leave; so I saw fit to use my new power to make my exit flashier. What better way to test out a new technique, right? I punched through a couple of walls, scared a couple thugs; but in the instant that I laid a hand on one of them, the natural energy was forcefully expunged from my body. I had only enough time to register the child's exasperation before my connection to nature disappeared.

This did not prevent me from capturing that group and turning them in, of course; and even the sudden break in connection was a valuable clue. It was still a bit embarassing.

After a lot of thought, I connected the two incidents in which this child had appeared to me: they were the only two times in which I had meditated while fully compliant with the temple's rules. Apparently, starvation is the acceptable alternative to meat and processed foods. Who would have thought?

Causing harm to others was the primary rule I broke while still at the temple, and it seems to carry less of a penalty than eating meat, for whatever reason. It's still the most irksome rule when it comes to finding a use for my access to nature energy, as I quite enjoy causing some harm now and again. Nonetheless, I soon found that healing others was not against any rule, and in fact is a use that my gohou vehemently approves of - and I should explain that term, shouldn't I. Gohou sounds like, and is spelled like, "the law"; but it has a specific buddhist meaning as a spirit that guards a monk's vows.

Though I use the term gohou, there's a large possibility that I am mistaken. But in several legends, there are seemingly immortal child attendants that appear around particularly enlightened monks; these children are sometimes thought to be demons that are working to redeem themselves, or were 'saved' and now work out of gratitude. But there was one story in particular that led me to describe the child I sense as a gohou: a story in which a monk that belonged to the court became furious with a political opponent and ordered his gohou to sink his opponent's ship as it left the harbor. Though the gohou argued, it gave in as soon as the monk threatened to break his vows. The story implied that such a breach would cause some magical sort of harm to the gohou.

Well, perhaps it was emotional warfare of some kind. Maybe gohou are simply that moralistic.

Returning to my epiphany, though, I realized that there was definitely a connection between the vows I took and whether I could sense that child at any given moment. Killing, stealing, lying, eating after noon, accepting money, and giving performances are also things that impose a penalty. The timeout period associated varies some between crimes, but this has made my life a little more troublesome.

Still, the gohou has proven more useful than not. Most relevant is the situation a few weeks ago, with Izumi; I was still exhausted from childbirth, barely able to move, when I noticed the danger she was in. I alerted Tenzou who was with me, sent my gohou on ahead of everyone - and I know for certain that she would have died without the gohou's interference. It kept her brain stable while waiting for reinforcements to arrive, prevented dangerous levels of blood loss as her eyes were taken.

I also called on its power to clear Sasuke's short-term memory, that night. He had witnessed some horrible things and frankly... as angry as he is that the culprit has yet to be identified, I think that he is in far better shape without that trauma. He had been afflicted with a similar illusion to the one that nearly killed Izumi, anyway, so any information he'd gained would have been unreliable.

Still. Maybe don't let him know that it's my fault he has been useless to the investigation? Izumi will wake soon, and hopefully she will be able to tell the village what truly happened that night.

For now... Sasuke is in class right now, but we have struck a deal. He's terrified of losing the only family member he seems to have left, and has expressed a strong interest in the healing arts. I agreed to train him if he became a live-in apprentice, and although this is not quite how I envisioned that conversation would go... I think Izumi will be happy with the result.

Well, that's as far as I'm going today. Love you and good night - or good day. Please nag Sasuke for training if you someday wish to become a medical ninja. He'll owe me one.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

This morning, my dear friend and former partner Tenzou left the ANBU. I'll admit that I'm partially making this tape to process my own feelings on the matter, and so I may delete this later.

Over the years, we've spent a lot of time working together. He and I were a team, back when I was younger. We were too young to be real ninja, and had been through too much to be real children. He was more of a superior than an older brother to me, back then. Thinking about the child he used to be, the teenager he was when we were teamed again, and the adult he has since become... I'm a little envious.

When I was whiling my time away in the Land of Hot Water, Tenzou was still dedicating his life to this village. While I was playing around with murderers, he and Hatake were becoming friends even as they were pit against one another by my uncle's politics. They came to have a mutual respect for one another's skills, I think, and it was Hatake who eventually delivered Tenzou from - the situation that he and I had once found ourselves in.

Tenzou become stronger and kinder in those years. Two friends were plenty enough for him, and ANBU became his new family and home, but he did not forget me. He is the reason I was able to return to Konoha at age thirteen, and for that I am grateful.

In contrast, those years away left me confused and a little vulnerable. I couldn't quite relate to him when we reunited, couldn't ask him why his smile came more easily. He was a stickler for propriety, like always, but little else about him had remained the same. And... rather than speaking to Tenzou directly, I spent my first few months back in Konoha asking Hatake every question I had about Tenzou, not wanting to acknowledge to his face how we had grown apart.

I had heard of Hatake Kakashi before being assigned to his team, of course, and had expected to feel a little awed or something; but the awkward air that used to surround Hatake made him a hard guy to take seriously. He is four years older than Tenzou, who is six months older than me; despite that, Hatake had waved off formalities from the start. He's a directly indirect kind of person, always making others feel foolish while playing the fool himself.

I don't know if he'll change in the next few years, but Hatake has so far handled his grief and guilt by taking up the behaviors of the precious people he's lost. One such behavior is lateness, typically accompanied by some absurd excuse. The truth is generally that he visits graves while waiting for an appropriately late moment to arrive: if you need to find him quickly, the K.I.A. Memorial is a good place to start.

That awkward air I mentioned has dissipated somewhat in the last five years; at the age of twenty-two, Hatake Kakashi now manages to read inappropriate literature in public, arrive at meetings three hours after they've begun, and wear a face mask while eating; all with such casualness that you can't help but think he's a little cool. Don't fall for it, though.

His dynamic with Tenzou has changed over time, but they used to be something like a two-man comedy act. Watch Hatake do something stupid, and then laugh as Tenzou struggles between his respect for his superior and his desire to teach Hatake something about shame. It's no wonder that I didn't spend time with them off-duty; I felt like enough of a third wheel at work.

Unlike Tenzou, though, I had non-ANBU friends I could speak with. Koori was my neighbor up until last year, I had started to see a therapist, and Aburame Muta was always there for me, too. So, why is it that I felt so jealous of Tenzou?

He ate lunch with us today, and that's when he told me about his resignation. He worked up to it by discussing our days as a team, from his perspective... "I felt at home, working alongside the two of you," he told me, "and it took me far too long to realize that you didn't feel the same. You've always been so quiet."

I haven't gotten that far yet, but there was a mission we took at the age of sixteen that caused a lot of trouble for all three of us. It was apparently the first time Tenzou thought to worry about my isolationist tendencies. In the midst of it all, he was given permission to read reports from my therapist. I was not aware of this before today; I'm not as annoyed about the breach in privacy as I should be.

Because we were no longer teammates, I expected him to forget about me when I was moved to lead a genin team. Tenzou is a far better man than I, though, and he made a point of dropping by nearly daily. I noticed that his attitude toward me had changed, but I arrogantly assumed that he visited me so muhc because he found my replacement annoying. It's frustrating to realize that he was making time, putting in effort, because he was concerned for me.

Tenzou didn't actually complain, or mention his new teammate at all. But I knew through gossip that Hatake had been assigned an eleven year-old newbie, and expected that to be a troublesome situation. That biased my analysis of his motive quite deeply.

Wow.

I really did lose touch with him, huh. As children he seemed like such a straightforward person that I rarely needed words, but miscommunication has become a real issue for us as adults.

He was very close with his new teammate, apparently; that teammate was an Uchiha and is currently presumed to be either dead or rogue. That seems to be a large piece of why Tenzou is turning in his mask; teamwork is more essential for ANBU than anyone, and now that Tenzou is discovering that all three of those he considers teammates were unwilling to rely on him in times of need, he's concluded that he is unfit for duty on that advanced level.

I didn't know how to reassure him, or how to correct him. Tenzou does not understand at all what a good teammate he is, and no matter what I say I don't think he'll feel any better. He's very stubborn at times. I do think he'll be in less danger this way, but it's a pretty big change in the...

It's a big chang from my expectations.

I think it's best if I accept his decision, however. He's taking a mission tomorrow with my two students, and he seems unexpectedly excited to teach them some tricks while they're out. I wonder if he'll have a team of his own, here soon; he wouldn't have that opportunity as an ANBU.

I'm incredibly lucky to know Tenzou, and frankly, all of the best parenting advice I've heard in the last couple months has come from him. Hopefully I don't need to tell you anything about him, though. As I'm sure I said earlier, he's the first person I would want to leave you with.

Now... Let's see if we can get a word from another person I trust.

[Transcriber's note: Shimura Hisato raised his voice here.]

Aburame Muta, I know you're listening! Would you like to comment- oh, he's running. Sigh.

[Transcriber's note: The word sigh, not an actual sigh.]

He's sixteen year old already, and yet he's still arrogant enough to believe I won't notice his insects. I hope he's grown up a little more by the time you hear this, Uzume. For now, I need to go. Love you!

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Today, I am a little upset. While taking you out for a walk, I decided to show you my mother's grave. I came across someone I know there.

I mentioned this person on a previous tape; I mentioned that I knew two people who promised to care for a friend's child, and then failed to keep that promise. This person is one of those two, and was visiting that friend's grave. Was that sentence confusing? I hope I am keeping my pronouns clear enough; it is illegal for me to name names, unfortunately. More illegal than usual, or I would tell you irregardless.

Anyway, seeing that man there, apologizing to the parents' graves for failing them even as their child is still suffering - I became very emotional.

I'm still worked up about it, two hours later.

I suppose I'm making this particular recording to guilt-trip my friends after death, rather than for your sake. If they should abandon you, I want you to be able to recognize them. It seems so far that you are able to see, and so I will do my best to give you useful information.

First, Yakushi Koori. I've been told that her hair is the same color blue as a famous Fire Country actress known as Sagami, and her eyes are visibly damaged though her eyelids are intact. She has a twelve centimeter scar along the inside of her right leg, around her knee, and a small scar on her left shoulder - apparently the skin there is off-color. She is about twenty years older than you, and two and a half years older than me.

Koori has always enjoyed makeup and fine clothing, by which I mean fine-textured; we often hear that her outfits do not match. She is completely blind, and has spent the last few years building up a community of people that have an absence or loss of vision. There are seventeen or so around the village who she coerces into meetings and trainings, and we all regularly exchange letters. She's currently working on a project for both the blind and the seeing - a collaborative book of poetry about the beauty and wonder in the world that the blind especially can sense.

I've submitted one piece to it already, but I'm working on another longer, piece about, well, you. Even should something happen to her and I both, many copies of these poems were made and passed around.

Hmm... Assuming that she is alive, I am having trouble imagining why she wouldn't be taking care of you. She has always enjoyed children. Koori did talk to me recently about how ill-equipped she feels in babysitting you right now, but that's because you're an infant. I certainly don't plan to die any time soon - I've got another five months for paternity leave, assuming that we don't go to war. You should be much more sturdy and stable by that time.

But, if she is alive, what is there to guilt her with? Well, even if she's ignoring one dead person's wishes, you can perhaps use another.

Uchiha Otohime, who recently passed, was a police detective and also Koori's mentor; Otohime took child abuse and neglect cases especially, and at one point personally offered to raise you. Koori's mentor did not believe that a single father could effectively raise a child, and forced me to take many classes on parenting.

Some similar class is likely still offered by the hospital; I may bully Koori into attending a couple sessions. That's off-topic.

At any rate, Otohime is one person you could use against her. Another is her adoptive mother that went missing long ago, Yakushi Nonou. I mentioned my own experiences living with Nonou in the other set of tapes, but... I think I was very harsh.

Nonou was a kind woman, a ninja turned doctor who dedicated herself to caring for children. Ours was the only orphanage locally that accepted disabled children, and supporting them was a task that she personally embraced. Out of the many caretakers we had as children, Nonou alone seemed to see us as people. Koori was deeply inspired by her, and I also learned much from her.

Nonou most likely would be disappointed with Koori if she abandoned you. Koori should know that, but it wouldn't hurt to remind her.

Now, for the second person. Iburi Tenzou, or whatever name he's using when you hear this. He took on a new name after meeting some Iburi clan members, one of whom was convinced that he was her missing brother Tenzou. Whether or not that is the truth, the name Iburi Tenzou means something to him. He has gone by a number of other names, though - Kinoe is another name that I think will affect him.

His appearance... I hear that he has brown hair and has kept it fairly long up til now; recently Tenzou said that he's thinking about cropping it. He wears the same kind of face protector that the Second Hokage liked, and his eyes are distinctive. Heavy-lidded, and dark.

His most remarkable trait is a bloodline limit, the same wood style that the First Hokage was known for. That's a state secret, actually - it's more convenient at the moment if other countries believe that the wood style died with the First. His talent with wood style is such that he actually built the house I currently live in as a present, and much of the furniture as well. He enjoys studying architecture, you see.

As I've said before, he cares a lot about respect for one's supervisors and elders. Though he is only six months older than me and shorter than me, he nitpicks at the way I speak to him in public. He listens more to those who are polite, also.

Unfortunately Tenzou is a shinobi in high demand, even now that he is no longer ANBU. If he is alive but not in your life, I can imagine a few possible circumstances. It might be that we have gone to war again, or perhaps he's become the next Hokage, or been kidnapped and is being experimented on... He's a responsible man but a busy one, and he regards the entire village as family. He may decide that his responsibility to the village outweighs his responsibility toward you.

It's also possible that he may have been told that staying near you would put you in danger. Tenzou avoided the subject when I joked about this,and I understand why. Someone close to him was told such a thing and believed it, and that person avoids children to this day for fear of making them into targets. And Tenzou still respects that person a great deal, and does not want to acknowledge that said person is wrong. The quality of one's life is far more important than the quantity. I would rather be dead than live in a world where no one cares for me.

Children raised in orphanages and foster homes often face great boredom and are surrounded by people that never quite give them the attention and love that all children need to develop properly; but those who are orphaned and then raised by family friends are far healthier. You can nag him with that. Remind him that children are the true answer to the Will of Fire, that the way children grow today decides the village's future. He doesn't handle crying all that well, and he's a little gullible when it comes to his friends. Ham it up. Snot all over his goofy standard-issue vest.

I love this village, but it's only a concept. Your individual health and development is real and important. The Village Hidden in the Leaves was built for the sake of children, to change a world full of children dying on battlefields. This village was built so that children could be children, even those destined to become killers. If it cannot be protected without harming those children, then this village is worthless.

I've said all that to him before, and he agreed at the time. Feel free to bring it up with him! Throw walnuts at him, he hates them. Please, don't allow him to hurt you in an attempt to protect you. For a species as social as humans, loneliness can be more painful than any torture; don't let them leave you behind.

Infants and toddlers especially need mental stimulation. Your brain forms an absolutely ridiculous number of connections before the age of two, which will form the basis of your understanding of the world. During the rest of childhood, those connections are pruned away to focus on the processes you actually need, increasing efficiency as overall brain mass decreases. But that important streamlining cannot properly occur if you were unable to form an excess of connections in the first place.

Frankly, my own neglect could have been devastating for me if I had not somehow been born with a full mind. Of course, It's strange to think about, but there is always the possibility that you also have strange memories from another world. Perhaps many people do.

I'm getting distracted, and it seems that I'll have a visitor soon. If both Tenzou and Koori are also dead or otherwise occupied, there's a few other close friends of mine who should be willing to care for you.

Aburame Muta is fairly clean, good with kids. He's still a kid himself, though, and his little brother's death had a strong impact on him. I'm not sure that he's financially capable of supporting you, either. At the moment, his spending habits are a little extravagant and he's taken to gambling. My students are also too young, but... Izumi especially was so excited for you. If she lives, I'm sure she'll want to be a part of your life. She was present at your birth, even... If only she could have stayed with me at the hospital that night, she would be with us right now.

Mitomu, another of my students, claims to dislike children. However, he made you a blanket and seemed very happy when you grabbed it tightly. We took a few D-rank babysitting missions back in the day, and he generally displayed a levelheaded, patient attitude that I consider appropriate around children. His mother has expressed an interest in you as well, though I suspect it's because she believes single fathers are inadequate. I think they would be better for you than most families.

As for my third student, well. They're an Inuzuka with an aggressive and impatient personality. They've come to visit you once and could not stop being rude, and I was forced to throw them out. I don't know that you could live with the Inuzuka clan in the first place, as you may very well be allergic to dogs. I really don't want you to try unless it's necessary. Though they're loving, it's a tougher and wilder kind of love than a baby really needs. They're also just so... Messy. I love dogs and all, but if you caught ill from living with them my ghost would take whatever vengeance it could.

It's a little awkward to say that my next choice for a caretaker, the last would probably be Genhara Akio, my therapist. He's a retired ninja in his sixties, and plenty competent... He has raised foster children before. But the matter of a client-provider relationship makes it extremely unlikely that he would be permitted to be your guardian.

There are a few people in particular who should not be given control over you, as well - beginning with Shimura Danzou and Sarutobi Hiruzen. I know from experience that their concept of a healthy child differs drastically from mine. After that, Hatake Kakashi, who would refuse anyway and doesn't seem to understand children at all. The same applies to Jiraiya the Sannin, who shouldn't be allowed around any child, in my opinion. He's made a number of... Insensitive comments toward young girls.

That's an awkward note to leave on, but I don't have much of a choice, it seems. Have a good day.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Hello. It's been a minute since I've spoken about my past, and I'd like to continue with that. Feel free to skip this tape if it's not something you're interested in. I'm making this one mostly so that I can feel like it's alright to move along and talk about the next part of my life, a very important part.

To recap, I spent my first three years with my parents; ages three to six at an orphanage; six to nine with my uncle; nine to thirteen in the Land of Hot Water; and I joined ANBU as a chunin upon my return to Konoha. Around fifteen, I began to focus on my gohou, and on nature energy; it was a little while after my sixteenth birthday that I revealed these abilities to the Hokage.

Although the gohou's rules proved an aggravating barrier, I was able to seal nature energy, access those storages, and use them to attack without the gohou's approval. My previously low ninjutsu score improved drastically, and I was soon promoted to jounin.

Only two months after that promotion, I was called to the Hokage's office along with five other ANBU for the mission that nearly ruined my career. Perhaps I shouldn't give full details, but... In the end, you have the right to know.

The Hokage began our briefing without hesitation. "There is a crisis occurring in Yugakure, and they have requested aid. One of their shinobi turned traitor and began rampaging five hours ago; he has been labeled an S-class threat. Reports hold that he has some sort of hyper-enhanced regenerative ability and has so far been unaffected by lethal attacks, including decapitation."

He paused there, to give us a moment to understand the implications. Unfortunately, this sounded very familiar to me. "The traitor is known Shogawa Ryuuma, previously registered as a chunin of Yugakure. His records," Sarutobi added, passing something to our team leader.

Tenzou was among the six assigned to that mission, and normally I would have asked him for the details left unsaid. But in this case, I knew all too well what our target looked like. Shogawa Ryuuma had been one of my friends during the time that I lived in the Land of Hot Water; and though ours had not been a very healthy relationship, when we were told to kill him, I became visibly unsettled.

The Third noticed, and held me back a moment. Those years I spent in Hot Water are technically classified, and so the other five left to pack. "I'm familiar with the target and his ability," I admitted. "Regeneration is not quite accurate." This was an important detail, of course, but I said it to distract him. I proceeded to explain what I knew. "U- Shogawa Ryuuma follows a cult known as Jashinism, which has unlocked a technique that allowed him to transfer his pain and injury to another by ingesting their blood-"

"Please report those details to your team," the Third interrupted, gently. "Were you close with him?"

"... Yes."

"Can you kill him?"

Though I knew he was questioning my emotional capability, I told him that, "If things are as I suspect, he can only die of malnutrition now."

Our Hokage can read between the lines. He knew that I had no answer, and did not ask again. He changed our orders slightly in response, to kill if possible and contain if not, and did not remove me from the mission. I regret that as much as I appreciate it.

I met up with the other five at the northern gate, and I gave them what practical knowledge I could as we ran for the Land of Hot Water's border.

Our team captain received a message soon enough which stated that Shogawa Ryuuma had fled Yugakure, and requested that we give chase: It was easiest to start that chase from the last place he had been seen.

I remember the smell clearly. On that day, the Village Hidden in the Steam was instead hidden by smoke. Half of the buildings were on fire, with the tourist sites especially having been targeted. Forgotten firework stockpiles were randomly activating, creating great noise. Evacuations were in process, though I sensed many a person collapsed and struggling for breath in that valley. And I... Really couldn't find it in myself to care about those people.

Compartmentalization, they call it. It's a skill that ninja must develop if they want to live ordinary lives off-duty, in which they take on a different personality and attitude under duress. At that point, I tended to act flippant under those circumstances. I said a lot of things I regret to the Yugakure ninja that we met with, on the outskirts of their burning city.

We left soon enough, doing our best to track a mad man with a two hour lead. We were told by the Yugakure nin that he had taken four hostages, his younger brother Hidan among them. I did not share my suspicions about that, as I was a little busy sulking.

For whatever reason, I felt that Yugakure had brought that disaster upon themselves. Uma - I mean, Shogawa Ryuuma - was never particularly loyal. He had already murdered dozens of his countrymen before that, without putting much effort into covering that up. I couldn't sympathize with such unobservant people. That was foolish and unreasonable of me, though.

... Returning to the topic of that chase, we were forced to split up after a couple hours, as the tracks split along two paths. Both smelled of the same blood, and we were not near enough to sense the target. Still, I knew well enough which path was more likely and I insisted on following it. My usual teammates went the other way.

The Land of Hot Water is a tiny country, and I came to know it well in the four years I spent there. The tracks Tenzou chose seemed to veer toward the Lightning Country border, where we absolutely could not allow him to go, but the other - the one I followed - lead to the Jashinist temple. I did not think that Shogawa Ryuuma was stupid enough to send a decoy to that place, and there were several decent ambush locations at which he and Hidan could hope to take on their pursuers.

Indeed, they entered my field of perception before long. One of his hostages was left half-dead in the middle of the road, visually alone. I had no trouble seeing through their traps, though I had no reason to do so in the first place. Rescuing hostages was not part of my mission. I signaled my companions, and leapt toward Ryuuma's familiar chakra.

"Leaf ninja, huh?" I heard him hiss as our blades clashed.

Nearby, his younger brother Hidan made a comment to the affect of, "Our cowardly village would ask for their help." I took note of it only to agree with him.

I had told the entire team already that the two brothers could transfer their injuries onto another person by licking their blood.  I had also told them that I had a way of handling that, so long as only my blood was used. The other two focused on the younger brother, taking care not to be cut; I had no such caution. Within the first moment,  my arm was nicked and my blood began to trickle onto the ground. I slashed his neck, and he used his own blood to form a symbol on the ground. I didn't make it particularly easy for him to make use of that, though my plan was so reliant on it.

There's a seal I use to access a meditative state; I discovered at the age of eleven that it has a strange interaction when activated while Ryuuma's injury transference is occurring. We were both pulled into my mind at once.

It's the only place where I can see, and its appearance changes often. It was a forest on fire that day, though not a particularly convincing one. The smells were right, as were the heat, the crackling sounds, and the form of the trees; but nothing had color.

"What a half-hearted illusion," Ryuuma sneered, his hands forming the ram seal in an attempt to escape. It had no effect, though he held it a moment longer.

The people who enter that mental world can also be seen by me. The appearance they have there is not quite right either, and depends on their own self-image, but it was still very evident that he had grown up. His distinctive hair had grown considerably, and was kept in a braid; and he had grown to my height. There is a three year difference between us, so I suppose that he was nineteen at the time.

"You don't recognize me like this," I noted. Rather than answering, he made an attempt to stab himself; his blade passed harmlessly through his skin. "You've been in this place before, though the appearance has changed."

"Did you bring me here to talk?"

"Something like that. Neither of us can harm the other in this place, so there isn't much else to do." My reply was a little too light. Though this had gone as planned, I was uncertain about going through with the next step. "Why did you attack your own village?"

Ryuuma scoffed, but gave the answer I expected. "Those people aren't ninja. They don't know anything but their own selfishness."

I nodded, tilting my head to the side. "Your brother told you to, huh?"

"W-what? That's not what I..." It must've been what he was actually thinking, though. I could sense his paranoia.

"Don't worry, I'm not reading your mind; you just haven't changed. Now... If you would really like to exit this place, it's fairly easy. You brought yourself here by making a link to me. Release your ritual, and let's talk outside."

In the real world that I could just barely sense, his brother nearly took my head off with a kunai. I don't think Hidan was even aiming for me, but dodging took just enough concentration for that mental world to waver noticeably.

"What was that?" Ryuuma asked, but it seemed that he intended to find out for himself. He disappeared, and I deactivated my seal.

"Aniki!" Hidan cried out a warning, but in the moment that Ryuuma's ritual ended, ANBU Monkey decapitated him. Hidan's distraction allowed his other opponent to pin him at last.

I felt in that moment that my plan had gone too well. I had somewhat hoped that Ryuuma would recognize me, or at least outsmart me. I wanted him to know who was taking him in.

"Contact the captain," Monkey requested. I did so, and learned that he was already en route. The blood clones that had acted as decoys were easily dispatched, and we were told to wait for his arrival before making any attempts to kill the two immortal Jashinists.

... Hmm. This is an aside, but... Out of all the concerns I had in that moment, I did not think to wonder what might change about the future I knew, if Hidan was stopped there. He was a named character in that manga, and one who was always fated to betray his village.

The captain arrived soon, and I was asked to check on the hostages. "Maa, that was pretty simple. I suppose we're pretty lucky to have had your old friend, here."

"I don't know him," Ryuuma snarled, and I couldn't help but give him a hint -

"Akari, Ken. Do those names ring any bells?"

Those were the names he had known me by, only a few years prior.

"Bullshit," he said, and I took off my Anbu mask, smearing the makeup that hides the birthmark on my jaw in the process.

"Crane," Tenzou called, a warning tone to his voice. I didn't care to listen to him.

"You..?" Ryuuma croaked out...

... Similar to how my voice has been croaking for the last minute or so. I didn't think to grab a glass of water, and it's been a minute since I've talked for this long, with this intensity. This story is a fair bit darker than most of the ones I've wanted to tell you, and I didn't mean to give so many details. I suppose... Relistening to the other set of tapes, I've gotten a little carried away. But - well, should I stop here and continue - later? - Ah, I'm probably going to have to. Uzume, as in, the baby Uzume -

[A shrieking sound begins distantly, and increases in volume.]

... Yeah, that's going to be audible on the tape. Honestly, with your lung capacity, I'd really hope you'll grow to be a fire type or a wind type. Though, once again, the path of a ninja is a difficult and unrewarding one. I'll understand completely if - ah, I should probably go already. I'm sorry. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

This tape is not a continuation from the other day. It's probably going to resemble idle rambling more than anything. I should continue that story first, but I'm really not in the mood, if that makes any sense. I attended a fascinating presentation earlier with Koori that I would like to talk about instead.

The topic was 'reality', and though the presenter focused primarily on the value of visual sensory information in forming a personal sense of reality, he did so by presenting cases of synesthesiac people, blind people, and other people who don't perceive the world in a "normal" way.

Of personal interest to me was the tale of a man who was blind for forty years after an accident took his sight at three. He received an eye transplant and was able to see again - but his story was not a particularly happy one. Though he could detect light waves and turn them into sensory data, he could not properly 'see'. This was most likely because the occipital lobe of his brain had been reduced to near-nothing due to disuse, but sight is such a complicated thing that it is hard to be sure. He could perceive motion and color apparently, but struggled with depth, shape, and especially recognition. Ultimately, the return of his vision created more problems for him than it solved.

I learned in my first life that all of our senses have a need for processing and at least one sort of recognition, but sight especially is incredibly complex in humans. Most of us are built to process and store visual data in similar ways, with depth in a particular part of the occipital lobe separate from, say, color. Motion detection through sight can also be found in the parietal lobe, and has a different path to the eyes which can sometimes be undamaged even when the main connection to your occipital lobe is cut, leading to a patient who has no visual awareness but can still tell if something in front of their eyes moves up and down as opposed to left to right. There was also a case of a woman that could 'see' perfectly fine, but who was unable to detect movement and claimed to perceive the world as a set of images with no connecting blurs. She could not predict when something would cross her path, what direction something was going, and needed a lot of assistance in her daily life with tasks like noticing when a cup was full in order to stop pouring. Even more interesting for me were the prosopagnosia cases and the time I learned about a man whose mind became unable to react emotionally to visual data.

Prosopagnosia is a ridiculous word... It refers to what we call face blindness.  Supposedly, there is a particular part of the temporal lobe, I think, which is dedicated specifically to recognizing faces. Nearby are the specific recognition of foods, other animals, and objects, but faces in particular are essential to a properly social human person.

As far as the man whose emotions could not be stirred by visual data, he lost a great deal more than an appreciation for art. He could still remember the way that recognition had once felt, and began to believe that the entire world around him was actually fake, taking his own lack of response to it as proof of such. He saw his own parents and believed them to be identical fakes, only recognizing them as themselves over the phone. He said something once like, "I love my mother. If that woman was really my mother, then I would feel that love when I looked at her."

His ability to recognize voices and react to those emotionally was not impaired, as one can note because of those phone calls.

It's off-topic, but those phones that he used, that I once used, were far more efficient than what this world currently possesses. They were portable, like handheld radios; enabling one to communicate with people a room over or halfway around the world.

Ninety-three percent of people had language primarily centered in their left hemisphere, by the way, while the other seven percent were mostly made up of left-handed or ambidextrous people. Perhaps that statistic would differ drastically in this world? There is far less right-hand centrism in the Leaf, at least, so the forced ambidextrosity of left-handed people is likely reduced.

If we just had the technology here and now to study the brain in motion, I would pay any amount to know more about mine. But at present there are not even screen readers. Screen readers. Though I suppose it matters little when today's computers are so weak.

Imagine, though - my sense of chakra and my sense of hearing both seem to have depth, spatial data, and motion detection at this point. I am often tempted to describe chakra signatures in colors as well, though I usually attempt to use a sound or onomatopoeia instead. Has my occipital lobe become a processing center for those senses instead? I really want to know. My eyes themselves appear undamaged to others and can be consciously moved. They dilate, and seem to send the appropriate wake-up signals in response to light; yet I cannot consciously perceive anything through them. Why is that? How did this happen?

I remember in that other world that people mainly seemed to isolate specific functions for a part of the brain only when a person with that piece damaged appeared. There was the man who put a spike through the left side of his head, just behind the prefrontal cortex, and suffered a drastic change of personality; many seizure patient examples in which the corpus callosum was cut to isolate hemispheres; the seizure patients whose localized damage had noticeable effects contributed enormously to research. The victims of leucotomy did, as well.

Despite this, at the time of my death, there was still so very much about the brain that we could not know for certain. If I existed in this body but in that world, could I have become such a case study?

The presentation today was focused on reality, though, and reinforced an opinion of mine about illusionary techniques. The world as we know it is already a construction of our minds that is based only loosely on genuine sensory data. Far more of our sensory information is provided by our expectations and recognition than from our actual sensory organs. So how, then, do illusions work? Do they all target relatively similar parts of the brain, or can they have a broad number of targets?

However, if illusions were merely taking advantage of your recognition process, how can it be that an illusion user can show you the face of a person you've never seen? No, it's far more likely that illusions seize your brain by starting with your sensory organs and relying on you to interpret the thing properly. Still, there's something that really makes me wonder - although smell is the quickest sense to activate your emotions, it seems to be the least malleable sense for an illusion to use, even emotional ones. It is the only one of your five senses which does not cross over to the opposite hemisphere, and does not send information to the thalamus before anywhere else. So... Is it the thalamus that creates an opening? The crossover process? I really want to investigate all of it further.

The emotional, spatial, aromatic, auditory, and temporal illusions fascinate me more than the visual. Against humans, visual illusions are too effective, and that has led to a strong focus on their use. I've had trouble learning any illusionary techniques at all be use of that, until Koori's group began making their own.

Hmm. The impact Koori's quest to form a blind community has had on the number of blind ninja... It's startling, but at the same time should have been predictable. Blind people already existed here, and always have. Many of us are immune to visual illusions, and the others still will notice immediately when they are placed under one.  Diversifying our forces with people who are able to better understand an unseeing world can benefit us, and the Hokage has come to understand that.

Even those with poor vision that do not become ninja are benefitting enormously from Koori's efforts. She conducted a study last year, and found that the literacy rate for blind people in the country of Fire is eight percent; among them are some who can perceive just enough to read print. Ninety-two percent of legally blind people cannot read at all. Imagine how much more difficult that makes education! I managed through school without reading because I had many others to read to me, and even then relied heavily on nepotism.

Koori was the first blind person to graduate from the Ninja Academy normally, and it took her several more years than the average person precisely because she insisted on being able to create notes in braille for those who would come after. She hand-punched three braille copies of each of the shinobi texts so that blind children could learn much faster; Koori had four unofficial apprentices before she ever graduated, my Inuzuka student among them.

Of the thirty or so blind people currently here in Konoha, eighteen of us keep in contact and have agreed to work together to raise that literacy rate. Two are still in the Academy, and eight are above the age of sixty. Four of us are currently active shinobi.

Koori has a number of plans for the future, but proving our worth through service to this country is an important first step. Every time someone mentions my mistakes from that particular mission near him, Koori's favorite old man is at my throat again; "You are Konoha's highest-ranked blind ninja," he reminds me, "and you cannot afford to have such a reputation!"

His name is Yamagata Nisuke, if you wondered, and he's annoying. His vision loss was caused by a cataract in one eye and his own decision to stab out the other one. He wanted them to match, apparently.

Yamagata recently submitted a poem to our collective under his own name, with a theme about the changing times... It's about me, though. He is complaining about me through it.

I can't decide if I should answer in kind or try for some moral high ground. Koori has yet to notice quite how many of us are using our poems to insult people, and I don't want to be the one to tell her. We are supposed to write about the world's beauty so that it can later be transcribed into print, to prove our worth as authors and artists.

Also, a six year old has been submitting hundreds of scribbles he has made with raised dots under the pretense of art. Koori has been having sighted friends of hers choose from these scribbles a few which look unintentionally artistic, so I'm considering creating a decent art piece myself. A flower or something like that shouldn't be too difficult, surely. I remember the concepts, could trace the form. More dots on one side of the form to mimic shade, and so on... But if mine is declared to be less attractive than a child's scribbling, I will die. Well, unless it's a scribble you make.

Hmm... I wonder. The doctors claim to have confirmed that you have not inherited my condition, but will you want to learn braille anyway?

Koori might guilt trip you about it, but ultimately I think it is your choice. I have generally preferred tape recorders to manage long-distance communication, but actual pages are easier to seal and hide. Tape recorders are also at disadvantage when you merely want a tiny scrap of information from a five-minute clip; with written word, you can go around at your own pace and skip things that much easier.

I wonder if I should leave some braille documents for you. I'll think about it. For now, I hope that you have a good day. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

I aim to finish the story from a few days ago, though I have realized that it is a little inappropriate for children. Consider carefully whether or not you really want to hear it.

I left off with the moment that Shogawa Ryuuma recognized me. Perhaps I should explain more about our friendship before I proceed, though. The essential points  are outlined in the other set of tapes, and as I've mentioned - I would like you to be at least thirteen before you hear those. They're encoded, and the key you need will not become accessible until your thirteenth birthday.

Shogawa Ryuuma was someone I had worked for, who I helped to hurt and kill many people. He was also someone that shamelessly flirted with me, fed me, housed me, and drank with me. I had disguised myself as a fourteen year old girl when we first met, and he had continued to treat me like one. I found it amusing and exasperating in turns. Though I trusted him with my life, I didn't trust him with much else; my life wasn't something I treasured at that point anyway.

We did a number of awful things together, like hurting people and burning buildings, but I find it difficult to remember why. Was I just that malleable? I certainly worked to appear to him as though I had my own motives.

Far more than the crimes we committed, I think about the domestic aspect of our relationship from the times that we lived together. Living in my own apartment in Konoha at fourteen, I sometimes caught myself expecting him or preparing foods he liked. It was annoying in a time that I was trying to fully internalize the ways of the Leaf.

As a person, Ryuuma was easy to get along with. He had a lot in common with me, and was perhaps the first person who I felt was emotionally on the same page I was. He generally appeared stupid and gullible, but below that layer was a familiar wariness.

Ryuuma is a little too quick to jump to a conclusion and too slow to correct his own misconceptions. In the four years that we knew each other best, he never realized that I was blind. Indeed, when he caught me using braille, he merely thought it a neat code. I also remember him calling me out for a lack of eye contact, which led me to focus more on sensing detailed eye movements through chakra.

The side of him that he'd expressed during his capture and before he saw my face was a little surprising. He preferred to put on a cheery tone during fights when he was younger, even if he knew himself to be outmatched. Perhaps the strain of betraying his village weighed heavily on him, or perhaps he was physically strained by all that he'd gone through that day. Either way, he became far more himself once he recognized me.

Tears gushed out of his decapitated head so suddenly that the Anbu carrying his body parts nearly dropped them. It's lucky that Ryuuma was not in a state to take advantage. Overlooking his sentimentality, I began to scold him in a monotone for betraying his village, killing people, taking hostages, and lighting Hasuwara castle on fire.

"But you hated that one," he protested, as though this was a personal issue between the two of us, as though he had not made himself an international criminal. I ignored that to dress down Hidan's separated head, which responded only in swears.

The team captain had hardly gotten our weird parade moving toward Yugakure when a message reached him. His breath stilled as he read it. "Change of plans," he said.

We were the nearest forces to Lightning country, and had completed the most difficult part of our mission already. Thus, as many of us as possible were requested to head to the border and reinforce it. A report had been made by a spy that Kumogakure was making another move against us.

The captain took everyone but Tenzou and I, who were to follow him to the border as soon as possible. At my suggestion, Tenzou made a wooden cart on which we placed the Jashinist sashimi and the hostages, all of whom were kept unconscious. We looked ridiculously unninjalike, pulling carts, but that way was certainly more efficient. We made it within two kilometers of Yugakure in good time.

It was as the smell of smoke thickened that I sensed danger. A huge presence fell on us before I could do more than alert Tenzou.

"Ahh, this was supposed to be a recruiting mission," our attacker grumbled. "Not a rescue."

"Fuck off!" Hidan yelled, having awoken.

"You said you would consider our offer. Didn't you destroy your village to get our attention?" A secondary, much lower voice asked.

I was forced to seal my chakra sensory abilities to stand in their combined presence. Though chakra sensing is an invaluable skill for me as a blind person, it also proves a great weakness before overpowering chakra reserves.

Tenzou was the first to launch an attack, using an earth style technique that distanced our opponents from the carts. He also struck up a conversation with them, through which we learned that the border recall had been based on false information. This duo had not wanted to face our legendary captain in combat, especially with a team behind him. They had been shadowing us without my notice.

Conversation failed, and Tenzou chose to focus on the more dangerous-looking of the two. Guarding our prisoners fell to me. I had set seals on the cart already, but they were not at a level to last more than a minute against these foes. I could only manage to reach for a little of the nature energy I had stored.

The fight that came to us was not long, and the details blur together in my mind. My seals failed, and one of our foes managed to get a clone past me to put Hidan back together. The three were too much for us, and there came a point when I moved too slowly and found myself slammed to the ground, my attacker poised to stab me through the heart.

Ryuuma screamed. I doubt he was in any physical state to involve himself physically, but the anguish in his voice was enough to force Hidan to act.

"Just knock that one out and take him with us," Hidan snapped. His rescuers weren't exactly pleased to receive orders this way, but nonetheless complied. I suppose their group was pretty desperate for new members.

As a jolt of chakra passed through my system, shocking me out of consciousness, I heard Tenzou cry out.

When I woke, I had an immediate rush of memories to process and new sensory data to use. My body ached, and was twisted into an uncomfortable position. I took in what data I could from my joints, categorizing injuries, and by gently contracting my muscles, I realized that I was bound.

Nonetheless, the texture below my body seemed soft and my head was propped on a pillow. My sensory abilities were no longer bound, but my chakra as a whole had been sealed and so I could detect little. I could smell sweat, dirt, and some sort of fruity scent, perhaps from the detergent used on the pillow. My mouth felt dry, and tasted sour. I could hear little aside from my own heartbeat and breathing, at first, but I soon became aware of another person close to me.

I swallowed, to test that I could; this was enough to rouse his attention. "Hey," Ryuuma mumbled. After a moment, he added an awkward, "How've you been?"

I really wanted to answer with bitterness, but I held it back.. "Well enough," I croaked out. "Yourself?" He shuffled around unexpectedly, and the surface below me lurched. It was indeed a bed, and a less solid one than I would have preferred.

"Here, water. And I've been doing... Not so great."

He chose to set a wet rag against my lips to allow me to drink. Not the worst option; it limited the possibility of drowning and did not require me to shift my head. It did, however, wet my entire face and drench the pillow. If you ever need to water a person who is unconscious or restrained, may I suggest wringing the rag out before you set it on their face?

I didn't complain, though. My mind was in a bit of a crisis mode, and offered up some polite chatter. Such self-control can be exhausting, and I do not generally recommend it, but Ryuuma seemed relieved. He apologized for the state I was currently in, with such vague terms that I felt he must be rotting with guilt over my capture; and then mentioned Hidan. "He's in the next room right now, with one of the others," he explained.

"Are we in a hotel?" I dared to ask.

"Yeah, near Takeno." That was a detail that he really shouldn't give a prisoner, and though I was aware that it may be a trick, I felt a flicker of hope.

"I remember when we were here last," I murmured, and he laughed. I tried to get a sense of his exact location from the sound and movement.

"Yeah... Can't believe you brought up Hasuwara castle yesterday, after what you did in Takeno." He seemed nostalgic, a smile apparent in his voice. But his next words held a certain bitterness. "So... You're a Leaf ninja, huh? That suits you."

"Because I'm nosy?" I guessed, taking care to speak lightly.

"Yeah, there's that. Hey, what have you told them about Jashinism?" 'Them' presumably meant Konoha.

The honest answer was that I had said nothing about it before this mission, and had then described its workings in as much depth as time allowed; but saying so would lead him to target my team. "I warned them that you had a technique to transfer injuries, and that I could handle it. Nothing else seemed relevant."

"Ah," he said. Apparently fond of heavy questions, he followed that up with, "were you really going to turn us over to Yugakure?"

I had hoped to have him transferred to T&I in the Leaf so that we could better investigate his immortality, and perhaps brainwash him into our service. That would have been terribly unwise to say. I chose not answer.

After several minutes of tense silence, he sighed. "You've never cared about me the way I care about you," he murmured, more to himself than to me. I found myself flinching as though those words were a physical blow.

"That's why you've got me tied up. Is this what you're into nowadays?" I deadpanned, feeling defensive.

"It was tied up or chopped up, and I couldn't-" he stopped himself there, and then continued in a quieter voice, "I'm doing what I can to save you, okay?"

That was sort of what I'd figured. He wouldn't have given me details about our location and Hidan's otherwise. Still, he was not making it clear what he wanted from me, something I do not appreciate in a savior.

"What happened to the other Anbu," I asked, feeling that a topic change was necessary. I did not expect his information to be accurate or in any way reassuring, and was pleasantly surprised.

"The rest of them started to show up, so Hidan grabbed you and I and hightailed it. He was fine, last I saw. Broken arm, maybe."

So Tenzou was alive. That was certainly good news, and meant that I began to plan a way of summoning my gohou to message him. "I'm glad." I said, a little late. "He's a good man."

"A friend, huh? Should you have those in a special unit?"

I don't know if I imagined a hint of jealousy because of our past, but I chose my words thoughtfully. "You should not, but he and his lover are childhood friends of mine."

That seemed to relieve him, though it was inaccurate. Tenzou was not dating anyone, and though physically children, we were already legal adults by our first meeting.

"Ah... I suppose even you would have had childhood friends. There's a lot I don't know about you, huh."

"You never really asked," I point out. I wonder if I would have lied if he had, back when I was twelve. I was under the influence of a mind-altering seal, so I suppose it's possible.

"Well, we've got a lot of time," Ryuuma mentioned, and began what was essentially an interrogation. He kept the subject matter light, at least, and after a while went to fetch me food.

"Ah, I don't eat meat any more, or fish," I mentioned, not knowing that it might spark trouble. I was thinking only of the opportunity to meditate and summon my gohou.

"You're still following Buddhist rules?" He asked incredulously. "I thought you only snuck off there for Nao-san? But... Okay."

Though he denied it, I'm certain that he added meat to my meal. It was such a shitty soup that I couldn't have been sure, but at least he propped me up to feed it to me. He also offered to massage my legs around the bindings, to reduce muscular damage. I didn't appreciate that, as it suggested that I might be restrained for far longer than I expected.

You know, it's strange that this memory doesn't feel negative although we spent the day fighting and anxious as hell. It was only as night fell that the situation became truly unpleasant, when one of Hidan's new friends came in with a strong paralytic. "So that he can't fight back," the man said, with a tone that suggested he got off on the concept. Ryuuma played along, as he is prone to doing, and I became deeply uncomfortable as he removed my bindings.

"Would you like to shower?"

"I don't want your help with it," I managed to say in a slur, trying and failing to sit up on my own.

"You might be here a while," he pointed out. "And none of us quite trust you to walk around on your own power."

"And I'm only alive to be used," I said with a lolling sort of nod. It was aggravating. My cognition was operational, but my body nearly unresponsive.

"I would never actually hurt you," he promised fervently. From the way Ryuuma spoke, I knew that his mind was on his personal experiences. "Hidan believes it because... With what happened yesterday, he thinks I should be angry. And I am angry. But I'd never take advantage of you."

Ryuuma and I... Shared a certain trauma, which I think may always impact us on a fundamental level. I discussed it in the other set of tapes, and don't wish to explain here, though you might've guessed already. This shared trauma had been an important part of the trust between us, as well; but throughout that entire situation, from the drugs to his nickname and his vaguely pleasant voice, I was reminded of things better left forgotten.

"If I'm still here in two days I'll shower then. Please, just let me sleep," I plead.

Ryuuma slept on the floor to further convince me of his good intentions, which left me plenty of space to meditate. Finding any nature energy from there was difficult; old memories would not allow me the peace I needed. After what felt like hours, I was able to follow a set of vines against the wall and begin to trace a mental map of the hotel through them where they came close enough to wooden beams. We were in a second floor room, with only seven windows on our floor.

I didn't sleep very well, and was bound again before the paralytic had fully run its course. In the morning, I tried meditating again. I had just begun to sense my gohou, which could have allowed me to send for help if I had not been interrupted.

"I don't care if you take him with, but we're leaving. We're going to meet their boss," Hidan's voice followed the sound of a door slamming open, both of which startled me out of my meditative state.

"I'm almost ready," Ryuuma replied, but began shuffling around.

Hidan's voice was much nearer when he spoke again. "Can't believe you wanted to marry this creep," he said. "Fucking heathen could have killed us."

Ryuuma was a good actor... But he lacked the willpower to lie to his brother. "Akari wouldn't have actually hurt us," he defended me.

"So I imagined getting chopped up, then."

"Konoha could have-"

"He was Konoha's before we ever met him," Hidan interrupted. "One of those Akatsuki guys who came to the house recognized his photo. His mom was pretty well-known: Shimura Hayami. His clan has been part of Konoha since its founding."

"... Shimura, huh?"

"Shimura Hisato," I murmured through numb lips. I regretted it almost immediately; at that point, I had only barely accepted Hisato as my name, and there were many reasons that I had never introduced myself to the Shogawa brothers.

Hidan was a little aware of that, too. "That's just another fake name," he said dismissively. "Your real name is Shimura Kagome."

"It doesn't really matter." Ryuuma's tone did not match his words. "I'll be out in a few minutes. Wait for me out front."

Hidan did so. I listened as he shut the door, and as the sound of his footsteps faded away, Ryuuma began humming some rhythm and jerkily throwing his clothes into a bag. It took me a moment to place the song, and then I couldn't help but groan.

Encouraged, he started over, singing it aloud. "Kagome, Kagome~. As for the bird inside the cage, when oh when will we meet, the guardian of dawn~. The crane and turtle both have slipped - who is right behind you~?"

There are a few variations to this nonsense song, with multiple possible meanings. I'm sure you will hear it a time or two in school, but to me it is an eerie and unpleasant song that has haunted me from my childhood until now. One interpretation in particular, in which the song is the story of a miscarriage, really worried me this year. But there was a rather different interpretation haunting me when Uma sang it.

"My name isn't Kagome," I told him flatly. "Anyone with a name like that would really be cursed."

"So Hisato, then." He said, still sounding off. "Like... Fire village."

"It's not written like that, no."

He didn't say anything else, just finished his business and threw me over his shoulder. I stayed in that position for the better part of the day, barely managing to remain conscious by trying to use auditory cues to place our location on a map through my knowledge of texture sounds. My chakra was still sealed, greatly limiting my senses, but I had an approximate knowledge of where we were headed. I only needed to know enough to send my gohou to Tenzou, anyway.

We stopped for food once, and I was allowed a solid fruit. I would soon realize that this had been during the afternoon, and that my gohou timeout had increased once again.

The hotel we eventually came to seemed unable to perceive my existence; I do not know if that was merely good customer service or the result of an illusion. Once again, Ryuuma and I had a room to ourselves.

"I can't stop thinking about it," he finally said. "Why didn't I know your name before today?"

It is difficult to rationally evaluate your words before speaking them once you've reached a certain level of discomfort, and something about him provoked me. "What, you think fate should've told you?"

That might have been right on the mark, because it angered him. "You didn't used to be such an asshole," he hissed. "I saved your damn life, and this is how you talk to me?"

"What were you expecting from me, a marriage proposal? I didn't ask for your affection, and I certainly didn't ask to be captured. If you regret it, that's your own problem."

"So you'd rather be dead?"

My brain caught up with me before I could affirm that.

"Well?" He repeated, sounding furious. The silence went on, tension building, until he snapped. But rather than the fury I expected, I could hear desperation and grief in his words. "You know, this isn't what I wanted! This isn't how I wanted to meet you again. Yugakure started this, talking about demilitarization. I didn't want to attack my home. I don't like that you're tied up. I'm not the kind of sick fuck who wants to see the person they love in pain! I hate this too, you know? But at least we're alive. Hidan's alive! Your friend's alive! I really, really want to be happy about that."

I wasn't in the mood to respond, but he had a lot more to say. "You just disappeared again. I tried to visit that temple, once I found out about it, and you weren't there. Nao-san avoided me for ages, and then she tried to say she didn't know where you were from. She also said I was a shitty friend to you. Like you weren't just as bad!"

"No one is forcing you to put up with me."

"So should I kill you?" His voice cracked, and he grabbed my shoulder. "That's what I would do to anyone else who hurt my brother."

"So why haven't you?" I asked, my voice dripping in disgust.

He responded with a near hysterical laugh, collapsing against me. "That's the damn question... Jashin, forgive me, but... I can't. Even when you're looking at me like that. This is pathetic... What a stupid, one-sided obsession. You haven't thought about me at all, huh?"

I realized that he was crying on my sleeve.

"I used to feel so happy when I was with you. I thought you were happy, too. I always thought it'd be like that again. I... I was thinking about leaving Hidan, to find you. I thought you were from Takigakure or somewhere like that. I thought you would make fun of me, but give me a place to stay anyway..."

On and on he went, weaving a few fantasies full of domesticity and a touch of murder. Through it, he surprised me in the accuracy with which he guessed my preferences. He knew what sort of materials I preferred in curtains as opposed to sheets as opposed to cushions. He guessed my favorite foods by season and meal, something I had not realized I had a specific preference for before then, and correctly identified a few hobbies he thought I'd enjoy.

The more he spoke, the more calm I became. For a person who prides myself on my ability to act, I was surprisingly flattered that he had seen through me. I realized as he spoke that I had formed a similar grasp on his character and preferences, for different reasons, and that compromises would have been fairly achievable if I had stayed with him.

"I figure you would probably only want one kid, and be happy with that," he finished up quietly, his eyes having already dried. "Though with my faith, I'm not really supposed to have any..."

"You haven't mentioned where we would live," I noted. "Would we have still been in Takigakure, if that was where I was from?"

I didn't ask because I was too taken in by the vision to resist; as I mentioned, I had calmed down, and thus become able to think more rationally. I adopted a plan that involved playing along either until I could make an escape, or until he freed me.

"Huh?" He seemed to startle, like he had forgotten I was there. "Oh... Well, I wasn't really... It was just a daydream. I didn't think about that."

I couldn't help but laugh, and felt how the sound affected him. Ryuuma had described windows in great detail without a thought as to what would lay beyond them. Perhaps he was too focused on the curtains. "You're surprisingly stupid," I told him.

"Pfft, surprisingly?" He said, and elbowed me. The softest silence yet descended, and I found myself lulled to sleep. It's annoying, in retrospect, how easily he was able to regain my trust.

[A clinking sound is heard as Shimura pauses.]

On the second morning, my gohou finally appeared, chock full of concern and disappointment, and the resulting nature energy allowed me to deactivate the seal on my chakra. My attention jumped first to the room downstairs where Hidan and one of his friends seemed to be sitting; next, to a signature just barely within my range; Hatake. Some other familiar people were with him, I realized soon after. They weren't moving, but I didn't know if that might change.

"Let them know I'm fine," I ordered as quietly as I could manage. I felt my gohou nod and fade out in the same moment that Ryuuma mumbled something incoherent. "Good morning," I said to him. "Rise and shine."

"It's still dark," he complained.

"That's a shame. Can I take a bath?"

Ryuuma should not have been able to detect the return of my chakra; he allowed me to bathe alone after Hidan came in to administer a strong sedative. "I'll leave a set of clothes here, and you can yell if you need me," he said, with yet another difficult-to-read tone of voice.

I waited only a minute after he left to use yin chakra to burn through the sedative. I washed up, keeping in mind that I needed to be conscious of my scent, and then hurried into the clothes he had left for me. As I did so, a couple of unfamiliar things clanked - forehead protectors, I realized. My own Konoha protector, and an unfamiliar one. It took me a long moment to realize that it must be his, and that the symbol must be that of Yugakure. Such a gesture had an obvious intent; Ryuuma knew well enough that this bath was an escape attempt, and so he was showing his support in a way that his brother would not notice.

I hadn't expected that. I checked the headbands for traps, seals, and found none; I tied mine on, and then hesitated.

Ryuuma jumped when I appeared in the bathroom doorway, having only been pretending to read. "H-Hisato?"

"Come to Konoha with me," I ordered, clutching his headband.

"What?"

"I'll marry you. We'll build that stupid house, buy the curtains, have a kid, adopt a few more. Just come to the Leaf." I wasn't thinking rationally; I didn't know what to do with the emotions surging up inside of me. "You said I hadn't missed you. You were wrong. I... Enjoyed living with you."

"Oh," he said. Just oh. That was all he really had the chance to say, though, because I had to throw myself back into the bathroom to hide as Hidan burst in.

"Sharingan Kakashi is in town," he barked. "I'd love to sacrifice him, but he's got backup. We're running."

"Right," Ryuuma replied, grabbing for his things.

"Did you hear anything I just said? Leave it, grab your bitch, let's go."

Considering the other decisions I made in that ten minute period, it may not surprise you to hear that I immediately responded to that statement by using a binding seal on myself. When Ryuuma was slow to respond, Hidan came to collect me. He was a little too preoccupied to notice the incongruencies, I suppose, but he really should have. I made a number of horribly amateurish mistakes.

Hatake was indeed heading toward us, with three or four subordinates trailing him. They were not quite as willing to smash up the town as Hidan's friends were, though, and so we maintained a lead.

"They're here for Shimura, probably," Hidan hissed, having already flung me back at his brother.

"We should just kill him."

Ryuuma shook his head, although they likely couldn't see it. "I've got an idea, then. Go on ahead."

"Wh- aniki!"

"Tch. Do as you please," One man said, yanking Hidan along when he tried to stop. "We only wanted one of you from the start."

Ryuuma's jaw locked. I imagine that statement caused him to worry for his brother,  but he nonetheless stopped. Hatake caught up nearly instantly.

"Release him," Hatake had just began to say when I released myself.

"What do you say?" I asked Ryuuma, paying little mind to the approaching ninja.

He hesitated, distracted by his own conflicting thoughts. Unaware of my circumstances, Cat appeared behind Ryuuma poised to behead him. Without thinking, I pushed Ryuuma out of the way.

He was not in any danger of dying - Cat was right to attack him- by jumping in, I looked like a traitor. I realized these three things within milliseconds of acting, but my instincts had already gone ahead of me. I was desperate for an answer to an offer I shouldn't have made.

"Crane," someone yelled, sounding alarmed. I couldn't afford to hesitate.

"Alleyway, Kari." I snapped at Ryuuma. "If not here, answer me then."

I had to prevent another attack, this time from his side, before he got the idea and ran for it. "Don't chase him," I snapped at my comrades, laying a seal on the clearing before anyone but Hatake could escape it.

"Do you know what you're doing?!" Someone cried out.

I answered truthfully that no, I did not. Even now, it is difficult for me to comprehend the choices I made.

There was an argument then - I stood between Hatake and Ryuuma, and said anything I could think of to keep Hatake from following and capturing him. Well, I was probably stalling more than anything. It's a wonder that Hatake did not run on ahead while he had the chance. Perhaps he thought I might harm my fellow men; perhaps I would have. It didn't come to that.

"We came here for Crane, and we have him," Hatake finally said. "The other mission is already over."

I judged that Uma was out of range and released my seal; someone was quick to knock me out from there.

I woke up in T&I, naturally, and had to explain the circumstances to others as well as myself. I was convincingly bewildered by my own actions, and in the heat of the moment no one appeared to have recalled my last words to Uma. They were able to find a trace of the sedative in my veins and claimed to have found an additional chemical to it which may have altered my emotional state. It became clear relatively quickly that I was going to be permitted to return to duty, but I expected a demotion at minimum. Instead, I received an apology.

The Third Hokage is too kind, at times. He apologized for sending me against a person I had so clearly loved, and allowed me to focus on the data I had gleaned from that stay instead. I spent only two weeks under investigation and retained jonin status; however, he recommended I resign from Anbu and try out teaching, instead. I took that as an order, and was soon charged with three new Academy graduates.

...Oh, I actually got through it. I was really starting to think that more tapes would be required, but I've managed to squeeze many of the pertinent details in.

Well, anyway. I feel the need to say that I really hope that you form far healthier relationships with your precious people Anger and guilt should not be a regular part of any positive relationship, and you should not settle for people who would harm you physically, mentally, or emotionally. A relationship should not feel like a competition against your partner, either. It's a collaboration.

I wouldn't exactly consider my relationship with Uma abusive, but it isn't the kind of relationship I would want to see you in. My friendship with him, I mean. I suppose the... Offer I made to him probably made it sound as though... But he didn't accept it. His brother needs him, you see. I've ran into him a couple of times since that mission, and I may need to talk about that later.

My next tape will be about my adorable subordinates, hopefully. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Today is the third of August. It has been nearly two months since the Uchiha incident, and I've decided that Izumi has one more day before I attempt to forcefully awaken her. Her brain seems to have fully stabilized, and she has gotten plenty of rest. My colleagues at the hospital don't quite agree, and I suppose I might be punished for what I am planning to do.

Before then, I would like to tell you about my team chronologically and in more detail. I finished the last story by telling you that Third recommended I leave Anbu for teaching.

I did not feel that I had much of a choice. Though the Third had pardoned me, and my closest friends were willing to overlook that moment of madness, the general public took a different perspective. It was not legal for the team to discuss the mission details, of course, but they did so nonetheless. Gossip is essential to the Leaf's infrastructure, and so it cannot entirely be eliminated: only discouraged. It is entirely unsurprising that no one wanted to work with me, knowing that I had betrayed my team for the sake of a missing nin.

I was a little bewildered by the teaching offer, though. I was good with children when I was a child myself, but much had changed. I couldn't help but question it.

"There's a particular student graduating soon. The two of you have much in common, and it is my hope that you can learn much from each other."

That created in me a suspicion which Koori was quick to confirm as I walked home with her. "Ah, if you're going to teach, then Keno will probably be on your team!"

At that time, I had heard a lot about Inuzuka Keno but had yet to actually meet them. I had been fairly successful at dodging Koori's attempts to drag me into her blind community by pretending to be called away for important missions. The loss of my best excuse was one of the most annoying changes that resulted from leaving Anbu, honestly.

I did at least know that Keno was an Inuzuka, and that they were blind; and so I was terribly annoyed. You have much in common, he'd said, and I had hoped that he was referring to a shared experience rather than a shared disability.

I wondered, would the Third have allowed Koori to take Keno as an apprentice if I had still been occupied? Despite Koori's genin status?

At any rate, the Third could not have thought up a punishment half as effective at deflating my ego if he had tried. After all the effort I had put into hiding and denying and overcoming my blindness, he came along and forced me to see it as my only saving grace. I began to think that I might well have been demoted to chunin for that incident if I had not been a blind person at the time that he had a blind student.

Koori didn't see it the same way, of course, and so I had to pretend to be pleased. It really is a miracle that she and I got along so well when we approached the matter from opposing angles. It is only in recent years that I have come to understand and appreciate her perspective.

"What sort of fighter is Keno?" I bothered asking, though I knew the Inuzuka style well enough. "Do they have a dog yet?"

"I'm not sure, and their dog is named Nanamaru - she's so fluffy, and just learning to talk, it's so cute!"

Nanamaru is indeed an adorable dog. I fell into the habit of calling her Maruko at some point, but she was named 'Seven' because the Inuzuka tradition of using a color for the first part of the dog's name seemed a little ridiculous for a blind child. Interestingly, Keno's cousins tends to call her Nijimaru, like a rainbow. Nanamaru corrects us occasionally, but generally seems to enjoy her nicknames.

"What's Keno's personality like?" I asked.

"Type B, for sure. They're a little rambunctious, overeager at times, but otherwise really friendly and positive."

Keno actually has type O blood, and typifies that much more in my opinion. I can only think that Koori was biased in their favor because of their history together.

This is a tangent, but I have AB blood and feel that I don't quite have those traits. You've got B type, which - if blood type actually impacts personality in any significant fashion - will mean that you are a more soft-hearted and forgiving person, though you are in turn meant to be a lazy and inconsiderate person. This is fundamentally bullshit.

The only positive aspect is that these blood personality theories cause people to be aware of their blood type and that of their peers, which occasionally makes field surgery easier. For example, chakra-assisted blood transfusions are pointless if the new blood will be rejected anyway. I feel that many other doctors take it for granted, but in my last life hardly anyone knew their blood type. The cultural drive to know did not exist where I lived; I did not even know my own blood type.

I'm getting distracted, but. I know that in my first life, my maternal grandmother had type O, but her third son had been born with type AB, which apparently caused trouble in his incubation. I had thought that impossible, but the science at the time was discovering that many people absorbed twins in the womb and sometimes have physical parts from these lost twins who may have had a different blood type in their genes. My grandmother had two sets of twins among her siblings, and that may have increased the possibility that she was able to produce an AB child. I wonder if that same issue exists in this world? Fetus absorption, I mean.

I suppose it doesn't really matter. Detailed knowledge of genetics and the ability to test for the paternity of a child is not a skill that I've needed, so the problems posed by twin absorption are above my pay grade.

At any rate. Encouraged by Koori, I took a little bit of my free time and spent it observing the Academy. If I was to teach a team of new graduates within a few weeks, I wanted to know who I might be dealing with. Of the graduating students, only Izumi really caught my attention; the Uchiha clan generally trains their own at home rather than submitting them to the Academy, and exceptions were either outcasts or prodigies. I could not immediately ascertain whether Izumi was the former or the latter; but I had not heard her name before, which did not bode well for her.

Though I didn't notice then, there were two Inuzuka in the graduating class. Neither one had a dog at school with them, for different reasons... Keno was causing too much trouble with theirs, and Hana hadn't found any she liked yet. Thus, I didn't recognize them.

I just barely avoided attending Koori's first community meeting post-exam because Keno's father, Inuzuka Unari, requested a meeting. I had never heard of him before, and he had never heard of me; though that is a little bit of a bad joke. He did know of me, but Unari is very nearly deaf. He requested a meeting in-person so that he could hand me braille documents recording details about his child that he felt I should know, including the tale of how Keno came to be blind. He burnt the pages after I read them, though I remember well enough.

Inuzuka Keno had been six at the time of the Nine Tails incident, and had been hospitalized the day before it; they had been displaying concerning symptoms for the previous couple weeks, primarily an unquenchable thirst following a feverish period, and the hospital had wanted to perform some blood tests. They already suspected blood sugar, and provided about two weeks' worth of insulin while waiting on a definite answer.

The hospital itself escaped damage in the attack, and all patients were successfully evacuated - but in the aftermath there were so many people in need of immediate care that the rest were neglected, supposedly. Keno's nurses had originally made out quite the recovery plan, which included teaching their father how to provide them insulin and when; that plan was lost for several months, however.

Inuzuka Unari's father was among the critically injured, also, which caused him a great deal of stress. In the following two months, he would provide Keno with a small insulin dose whenever they displayed symptoms, typically once every couple days. As time went on, the space between doses became larger.

If you know much about juvenile diabetes, you would know that this is insufficient on a typical diet. Keno lost weight in those months and spent far more time sleeping than someone their age should have; but the state of things was such that Unari noticed nothing. It wasn't until he ran out of insulin altogether that he brought Keno in to see a doctor, having been told that the insulin was now necessary for Keno to survive.

The hospital was still in an alarming state, but insulin was one of the few medications they were not forced to ration as it is not generally useful for injuries and were out of style for assassinations. They happily supplied him with more, but could not give him an appointment at the time.

That hospital day had remained a heavy burden on Unari's mind for two reasons... The nurse had called this a month's supply, though it was obviously a larger amount than he had already used up in two; and because Keno had walked right into a pillar without noticing. In the moment, he had dismissed it as childish goofiness, but in the months that followed it would become apparent that Keno's vision was rapidly declining. They had been enrolled in to the Ninja Academy, but had fairly abysmal scores and seemed unable to pay attention. This concerned Unari little, because it is fairly typical of an Inuzuka - even he could admit that. It was only when Keno began to prove totally useless and quick to collapse in taijutsu that he took them in for a consultation.

The prognosis was appalling and disturbing; because he had only provided insulin when Keno showed extreme symptoms, their body had adjusted to only show those symptoms when their blood sugar levels reached a height five times that of a normal person. All the while those high levels had been damaging Keno's kidneys and nerves, especially in their eyes. Worse yet, because their body had adjusted to this concept of 'normal', bringing Keno immediately to a normal blood glucose level would have caused the symptoms typical of hypoglycemia. Shaking, fainting, coma.

They decided to begin weaning Keno into an appropriate level, lowering the point at which they began to show symptoms over the course of two more months. Their eyes continued to deteriorate, and it became clear that they would need a kidney transplant. Because Unari still desperately wanted his child to become a ninja, he also asked for a pancreas transplant for them.

Around the time their blood sugar finally became reasonable, Keno's cousin Hana agreed to give up a kidney and the hospital was able to procure a decent pancreas. The procedure went well, for the most part, and Keno was soon able to produce most of the insulin they needed by themself again.

I understood as I read this story that Inuzuka Unari had provided it with the hope that I would be more sympathetic and considerate to his child, but my only emotional response was fury that I concealed with difficulty. Keno's vision loss was the result of neglect and ignorance. It was entirely avoidable.

I obtained Keno's hospital records after they were formally assigned to my team, and the staff reported sending someone to check on Keno within two weeks of the Nine Tails incident. According to that report, Unari had told them that he had already come by to get more insulin. I know that either one of them could potentially be lying, but... That transplant surgery he advocated for had much higher risks because of his insistence on getting his child a new pancreas. A nurse noted that Unari said something like, "If Keno can't become a ninja, he might as well die," while arguing for it.

Koori had been overly vocal for the past few months about her plan to help blind children become ninja, and Unari had contacted her after the transplant. Koori hadn't been given details. At that point, Keno had a little sight remaining but operated primarily on smell. They had recently gotten Nanamaru, who was well enough trained to help Keno navigate.

The last of Keno's sight was certainly lost to neglect. As I mentioned, they became able after the transplant to produce most of their own insulin, but still occasionally require a boost. The nurses had recommended regular checkups, but Inuzuka Unari had decided that Keno's time was better spent catching up with their peers. Keno's best friend, also coincidentally their cousin, was the one who first noticed when Keno's eyes were... Well.

The hospital did not attempt an eye transplant, just removed them and  permanently closed Keno's eyelids to prevent further infection. Koori had helped Keno throughout the process, as had Inuzuka Hana, their cousin. Keno picked up braille quickly, focused on ninjutsu rather than taijutsu to make up for their still-frail body, and was eventually able to graduate in the normal time span with mediocre scores.

... I didn't mean to focus so heavily on Keno, but they were the first student I knew about and the first that I researched intently. For all that it was aggravating that the Third seemed to expect us to get along because of our similar conditions, I did feel some sense ofcamaraderie.

As soon as the graduates received their scores, the Third released the names of my other new students.

I nearly protested Izumi's placement because I knew that there were political ramifications; placing an Uchiha child who already had her sharingan with a blind teacher was a blatant insult to her clan. Indeed, it was very obvious at what moment the team assignments were made known to the Uchiha clan, because several approached me within a twenty-minute timeframe... But I'll come back to that later.

The third name, Mitomu, was entirely unfamiliar and I decided to investigate him to get a grasp on the sort of person he was. Like the other two, he is an only child living with a single parent; but unlike the other two, his parents are both alive and at odds with one another.

I chose to speak with his father first, and found that he was a relatively normal civilian carpenter living along the western wall.

"My son is a wimp," he told me plainly, "and he'd be better off if he quits the whole ninja business and comes ta live with me. It's his mother that loves the ninja stuff, and he jus' goes along with it like a good kid. I try and support him, but I don't want to live long enough ta see his funeral, ya know?"

I can understand that better now, but at that point I could hardly appreciate it. I wanted data that would help me make a decision, and he was offering emotion. However, Mitomu's mother was even less helpful.

"So you're to be my son's teacher... What's your specialty? Can you use genjutsu? Do you have a bingo book page?"

She is also a civilian, and her name is Fuyumi. Because she is incredibly opinionated and absolutely enamored with the shinobi lifestyle, Fuyumi is probably the scariest civilian I've ever met. I might trust her to babysit you, Ucchan, because I know that Mitomu can balance her out; however I can hardly stand her myself. My interrogation of her only told me that she believed her son to be a genius destined for eternal glory and enshrinement as a future Hokage.

It was his Academy teacher who provided practical information. Naturally. "Mitomu is perfectly polite, but he doesn't have friends and hasn't shown interest in making them. He doesn't brag or smile when he does well, and he doesn't take weapons lessons or sparring seriously. He has expressed an interest in illusions, but little else."

I say that this information was useful, but my initial conclusions about Mitomu were also based on his father's words and were far from accurate.

Next I would learn about Izumi - whether I wanted to or not. Her Academy teacher encouraged me to fail her; he was under the assumption that I shared my great-uncle's views regarding the Uchiha, and he was not the only one.

Uchiha Otohime was the first to speak to me, as she knew me better than any other Uchiha thanks to Koori. Also, because of some stupid situations alcohol had gotten me into while Otohime happened to be on duty.

"Her father was killed by the Nine Tails," Otohime abruptly began after hailing me in the streets. "She's only half-Uchiha. If you blame us, at least forgive her."

"Izumi?" I checked. I had not been expecting to hear about her so soon, and not in that regard. "I don't believe the gossip," I added, a little late. "The Uchiha would have no reason to cause such a massacre."

"Right," Otohime said, though she seemed dubious. "Well. She's a good kid, strong. Very friendly. Treat her well."

As suddenly as she arrived, the police investigator disappeared. I attempted to resume my shopping, or whatever it was that I had been doing, but within five minutes I was stopped by another police officer. "I hear that you'll have one of ours under your wing, soon."

"That is my understanding," I agreed.

He got down to business. "How are you, a blind man, qualified to teach a sharingan user?"

This, I was expecting. My answer was appropriately apologetic but firm; teaching Izumi was part of my orders, and I had much that I could teach to a pupil willing to learn. I had every respect for the Uchiha clan and their contributions to the village, and so on. I tried to seem sincere and enthusiastic, but likely failed. I didn't care much about their wounded pride.

The third Uchiha to approach me was Izumi's mother, Uchiha Hazuki. After introducing herself politely and apologizing for the interruption, she asked me, "do you talk to your uncle often?"

"Rarely." I replied. It is, was fairly well known that  Shimura Danzou holds a strong dislike for the Uchiha, as his teacher did before him.

"It's rude of me to say it, but I'm relieved."

It was incredibly direct of her. She was a middle-aged woman with a soft voice and that dignified air which all Uchiha seemed to develop; I had expected her to offset the implications of her question with a well-thought-out remark about the importance of family, or something. She followed it up with a similar honesty. "I have heard that you recently aided a missing nin. Can you explain the situation to me?"

I hesitated, surprised, but gave the answer that was required of me. "The Third has asked that we keep the details of that mission secret." I was tempted to add something hokey, like a promise that I would not betray her daughter, but I thought that would have been too much.

Hazuki nodded, then seemed to remember that I was blind. She was not aware of the minute detail that I could sense through chakra. "I understand. For now, that's all I wanted to ask. If you could come by for tea sometime to talk further, I would appreciate it."

I realized about then that I would not be able to pull a Hatake Kakashi and give my team an unpassable test. I had already invested too much energy into conversing with their loved ones, and I did not want my political reputation to sink further by failing an Uchiha right after assuring three of them that I did not share my uncle's values.

If I had, my next drunken escapade would have become my last, assuming that Koori allowed me to touch a bottle again. Perhaps Mitomu's mother could have managed to exact some revenge as well.

I wish I had purer motives for genuinely considering accepting them as my students, but I was sixteen years old at that time.

I'm stopping here for the moment, and I'd really like to share a thought that occurred to me a few minutes ago. Everyone on every team I've ever been on or heard of has a relatively equal distribution of blood types. I'm AB, Tenzou's A, and Hatake is O. Keno is O, Mitomu is A, and Izumi is B. With me guiding them, that's all four types. And that rule is true for - well, a few other teams I can think of, too.

Is that how the Third decides which non-clan kid to throw onto a team? If he hadn't pardoned me - an AB type blind man - would he have replaced Mitomu with an AB type child so that Koori's A type would be a good fit? I'm a little terrified just pondering it. Surely it's a coincidence.

I'm going to take a little nap, then continue with the next tape.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

I forgot to mention that Tenzou's birthday is a week from today. August tenth... He'll be nineteen, and I'll have to wait until February twentieth to catch up.

At any rate, it has been a couple hours since the last tape. Perhaps I should have waited another hour, as the baby will probably wake soon, but I fear that the story may get harder to tell after tomorrow.

There was a two week period between the time that I was told of my assignments and the day that those assignments were announced to the graduating students. The Third had gathered the new jonin teachers in his office to watch and hear the students' responses, and so I am a little aware of how they reacted.

Izumi's name had been the first one announced for team six, and the teacher beside me reported that she was shaking. As Keno's name followed, she marginally relaxed and Keno called out, "who?" It was Mitomu's name that caused the greatest reaction; nearly all of the remaining unchosen students sighed with relief, and Nanamaru growled.

"Please keep your friend under control," Mitomu requested, his voice notable for its lack of inflection.

"Sensei, I can't work with this guy!"

Their academy teacher sighed. "Team assignments were arranged by the Third," he reminded them, and continued onto the next team. After they had all been called, the students rearranged themselves to sit in their new groups and wait for their teachers. I took a moment to continue observing them.

"I look forward to working with you two," Izumi began, her voice a little timid.

"It's nice to meet you, but I have no intention of working alongside you." Mitomu replied.

"You're going to resign?" Keno sneered; apparently that was supposed to be amusing, because Mitomu replied with a polite laugh. It spawned an argument that continued even after I appeared in their classroom.

Izumi was quick to spot me and apologize for Keno's yelling; I waved that off. "I'll allow you a few minutes to cool off, but please meet me on the terrace of the tea shop on Magnolia Road soon," I told them. It was not yet my duty to resolve their conflicts.

Izumi hesitated, but chose to walk with me rather than wait with them. I thought at the time that this was an indication of a sheep-like attitude, and wondered why Uchiha Otohime had described her as 'strong'.

"My name is Izumi," she introduced herself on the way.

"I am Shimura Hisato. It's nice to meet you, Izumi."

"You as well."

Ultimately, Mitomu took ten minutes to follow. Izumi had proven herself uncomfortable with silence, and I had ordered tea and snacks to give her something to do other than talk.

She is not generally a chatty person, but I had no way of knowing that it came down to nerves. I was never assigned to a genin team, instead working as a pair with Tenzou, who was a chunin at the time; when I was finally assigned to a larger team, I still had Tenzou to lean on. I couldn't relate to Izumi's feeling of anxiety at all.

I noticed that Keno seemed to be changing clothes and painting their face, with help from their dog. As twenty minutes passed... I found myself very annoyed. Mitomu ordered another round of snacks, mostly dango, and Izumi muttered something about buying extra for a friend who liked them. I had been under the impression that she was friendless, but did not bother to ask. 

"What are our plans today?" Mitomu asked, eventually.

"First, introductions. Then I'll allow you a few hours to prepare for your first mission."

"We have a mission today?" Izumi sounded slightly panicked.

"Is that a problem?" Mitomu asked her, propping his head on one hand. Before either one could speak further, Keno finally arrived and thoroughly distracted Mitomu.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Keno said with a higher and more polite voice than I had heard from them previously. Their dog echoed the apology.

"What are you wearing?" Mitomu asked, standing up. It seemed as though he was tempted to attack, and there was a genuine note of shock in his tone.

"Please, both of you. Sit, and let's begin introductions." I made an effort to sound patient. "I would like you to begin with your full name, then state a few likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Then, if you would, tell me why you chose to become a ninja."

Izumi leaned forward, but someone else was even more eager. "Today, you may call me Inuzuka Asakeno," they began, and my eyebrows involuntarily rose. "I love dogs and my family, of course. I hate losers and liars like you all. My hobbies include poetry-"

"-Crossdressing-" Mitomu mumbled.

"Silence," Asakeno said primly. "I also like swimming. My goal is to become strong so people will have to listen to me before they decide I'm stupid. Oh, and I wanna support Hana's dreams."

I realized at last why the Third had felt that we had much in common. It wasn't just our disability; we both seemed to have something against our assigned gender. He really should have mentioned that sooner, and with more clarity. In the moment of realization, I was irritated. Was I nothing more than a fake man who happened to be blind? And so on; my mind treading down an unnecessary path.

"Well, my name is Okubo Mitomu." This was his father's surname, not the one on his records. "I don't know that I like much of anything, but I wouldn't mind if Inuzuka dropped dead. My hobbies aren't important. I became a ninja to kill people without consequences."

Izumi made a strange noise, and Asakeno tensed. I nodded along, not really paying attention, and gestured to Izumi. "U-Uchiha Izumi," she squeaked out. "I like... Sweets, the color purple, and... I don't like being lied to, either." Here, she nodded to Asakeno. "Um, hobbies... I like skipping rocks and cooking. I want to become a great ninja, like my dad..."

"And?" I asked, noticing that she seemed to have something else that she wanted to say.

"... And I want to bring peace to the shinobi world," she finished lamely. Mitomu gave a polite clap, and Asakeno snorted. I was just relieved that they were giving her any attention at all.

"Now then," I began.

Mitomu interrupted with, "Ah, that's right. We have a mission, so you're going to have to wash up."

"What?!"

I couldn't help sighing, this time. "Wear what you like, bring what you like. It's a three day survival exercise, starting in four hours."

"I thought it was a mission?"

"It is. I am asking you to use these three days to prove that you have the skills and attitudes necessary to receive training from me."

"Are we allowed to fight each other?" Mitomu asked, trying to fail right off the bat.

I answered him anyway. "If you feel that is the most appropriate course of action. As you are all Konoha shinobi, you are not permitted to kill one another under most circumstances."

"Can we attack you?" Asakeno wanted to know.

I wondered what they thought would be gained from such an action. "I will be taking part in this exercise, so again, that is at your discretion. Now, if there are no more questions, let's end this here." I proceeded to give them directions for the meeting place I had chosen, and then disappeared.

Frankly, I hated all of them. Izumi seemed weak-willed and noncommittal, while Mitomu  had seemed patently uncooperative and unreasonable. His desire to kill people barely registered, as I perceived it as an answer his mother may have fed him. And Asakeno... Well. Not only had they disrespected me verbally, they had made me wait. There was nothing particularly wrong with their answers and attitude otherwise, but I was inclined to be irritated as I contemplated having such an inconsiderate person as an apprentice. In my mind, their team had already failed.

With that thought in mind, I spent an hour or two of the remaining time increasing the traps I had already set in the training ground I had reserved for the exercise by six hundred percent.

This seems like a good stopping point. I hate that I'm dividing this between so many tapes, but... Sigh. It can't be helped. I might not have access to this recorder for a few weeks.

Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

It's still August third, and I'm starting to regret choosing tomorrow. August fourth has always been horribly unlucky for me. But maybe I've been saving that luck up.

Anyway, this is the third tape regarding the formation of my Team Six - the team to which Izumi, Mitomu, and Asakeno belong. Asakeno is also occasionally known as Keno, but for the sake of clarity I have decided to give the name they were using at the time that the story takes place, and use neutral terminology while describing them.

Training Ground 25 had been my favorite at the time, as it was home to a much younger patch of forest. The smaller trees made travelling along branches difficult, and were spaced in such a way that I could easily set up numerous fake trees. As I was feeling particularly vindictive, I recruited Muta to move hornets into these fake trees last-minute. Aside from that, there were a few dozen pit traps, wire-triggered kunai, and countless chakra-binding seals attached to rocks and leaves.

I knew that Izumi's sharingan might see through these, but her medical records indicated that she struggled to maintain the sharingan without overusing her chakra. Besides, after our disastrous introductions, I felt that her advantage would be nullified by the others' uncooperative attitudes.

Their arrival at the training ground's entrance mirrored their arrival at the tea shop. Izumi was present twenty minutes early with snacks to share and a couple different pieces of luggage. Mitomu arrived a minute late, wearing a backpack full of yarn and books. Nanamaru, Asakeno's dog, came running along ten minutes late and full of excuses. I gamely waited thirty minutes for Asakeno, who had only brought a towel, a water bottle, some iodine tablets, and a few sugar pills. This closely resembled the supplies I myself had set aside for these few days, but I couldn't understand how they could arrive so late with so little.

"I fell asleep," they explained. Nanamaru shuffled awkwardly, as though apologetic.

"Do you need-" Izumi began to ask, but Mitomu cut her off.

"You're wearing another dress?"

"If you interrupted less, people might care what you have to say," Asakeno told him.

I coughed to gather everyone's attention. We were already thirty minutes off schedule, and they could argue with each other later. "I would like to begin. We will spend the next three days in this training ground; if you leave the grounds during this time without my explicit permission or if you are unable to leave within ten minutes in three days' time, you will be stripped of your genin status and returned to the Academy."

Asakeno snorted at this, and contrary to my expectations, Izumi straightened up. It was Mitomu who questioned my ability to make that judgment; I assured him that he could take the matter up with the Hokage.

"Now, the time is..." I allowed my talking clock to belt it out, " ... and this mission will end exactly three days from now, at this same place. I wonder who I'll meet there." I then disbursed; I had left a shadow clone to greet them while my real self meditated. I noticed that they immediately split, with Mitomu -

[transcriber's note: something slams in the background as Shimura pauses. A second voice becomes audible, and I will use initials to indicate who is speaking.]

SH: You're home early, Sasuke.

US: It's five o'clock.

SH: Ah... Is that so.

US: Are you sick?

SH: Something like that. Do you have homework?

US: ... I'm going out back.

SH: If you could be a little quieter while training today... Yesterday you woke Uzume.

[transcriber's note: After a few seconds, Shimura addresses the tape recorder again.]

... Hmm. I'm really stressed, aren't I. I could have sworn that I had more time. Anyway, that was Uchiha Sasuke. You puked on him yesterday, and he deserved it. He's a pretty straightforward person, though, and I enjoy teaching him. He certainly pays more attention than my other students. I may randomly stop talking if he comes back in - I'm flopped across the kitchen floor at the moment - but I doubt that will be necessary.

Where was I... I mentioned the rules I set for them, and then released the shadow clone that had been at the entrance with Izumi, Mitomu and Asakeno. My real body was meditating elsewhere, and upon receiving the clone's memories I began monitoring them. Of the three genin, Mitomu was the first to split. I suspect that Asakeno and Izumi had some discussion, as they worked together for a time. An hour passed in relative peace before Nanamaru stumbled onto a chakra-binding trap.

If the three had made a better first impression on me, I would have warned them that they needed another person to free them from it by pouring their own chakra into the seal. It was a little fun to observe them struggle with it instead, honestly.

Izumi activated her sharingan to examine the seal, and I took note of the way those eyes changed the entire feel of her chakra. Ultimately, they settled down beside where the dog had collapsed and built up some kind of camp.

In the other direction, Mitomu fell through a fake tree. It was one without hornets, but I'm sure that it still gave him cause for concern. He had been racing around, perhaps looking for something in particular, but slowed down after that. He did not seem to notice that the fake tree had passed a seal onto his back when he crushed it, however.

I had not yet fully decided if I wanted to involve myself in their test, but I resolved to spend the first night simply observing. There wasn't much happening; Mitomu attempted to stay up reading all night after finding a stopping place, but he nodded off around two in the morning. Izumi and Asakeno attempted to sleep in shifts, but only got a few hours' sleep each. Both seemed very tense.

Around seven in the morning, I decided that Mitomu had slept enough. I approached his camp and kicked a rock at him; I heard it connect, but he did not wake. Rather than stick around, I lit a couple of his books on fire and went to check on Asakeno. I surrounded myself in a slight aromatic illusion to prevent Asakeno or her hound from detecting my approach, but I needn't have bothered. Nanamaru was asleep, still very much sealed, and the two genin near her were fiercely arguing.

I listened for a moment from a tree two meters from Nanamaru; the gist of it was that Asakeno wanted to blame Izumi for Nanamaru's current state, and Izumi wasn't willing to be held accountable for something she had not done. There were two more days to fuck with them directly, I decided, but for that moment I knew exactly how to worsen their argument. I kidnapped Nanamaru.

She isn't a small dog, but I managed to tuck her against me in a fashion that was probably more comfortable for me than for her. I felt a little bad, and decided to release the seal on her chakra as we went. I waited until I could sense Asakeno and Izumi going their separate ways to wake up Nanamaru.

I may have been unclear about what sort of dog Nanamaru is. To clarify: she is a fairly large poodle, probably white, possibly gray or multicolored. She was five or six years old when we first met, and is eight now. Not a puppy at all, though her speaking style contributes to such a misunderstanding.

"Where..." Nanamaru began, looking around. "Where's Asa?"

"Looking for you, most likely. Ah, not so fast." I said as Nanamaru jolted up. "This is part of the test. I want to test their tracking abilities." I made that up as I was speaking, but decided that it wasn't the worst plan.

I really wasn't interested in taking those three seriously. I would hope that you don't think I planned poorly at important times; I really am a thorough person, under normal circumstances. I just... really couldn't find it in myself to get revved up about working with three unruly children.

... But, at any rate. Asakeno was not the first to approach me on that second day; Mitomu happened upon me while the other two were still far away. I didn't bother to hide myself, and opted to act as though I had not noticed him. He snuck within two yards, and began what I recognized as a minor visual illusion, casting it on Nanamaru and myself.

"I may have forgotten to tell you that I'm blind," I commented, not bothering to turn in his direction. Mitomu just about jumped out of his skin, but recovered quickly.

"Are you the one that burnt my textbook?"

"Hmm? Ah, that. You looked cold, and it seemed like good kindling."

"Was it because I fell asleep?"

I hummed at that also, but did not bother to answer verbally. Lazily I began forming hand seals, and he responded in turn. I cast a vestibular illusion, and he attempted to use an auditory illusion. When he moved to attack me, he fell and puked instead.

"What... Is this?" He hissed.

"I've altered your sense of balance," I replied, stepping forward to activate the seal on his back. More than chakra-binding, this was a paralysis seal that prevented movement from the neck down; the method for releasing it was the same, though. I even bothered to let him know that he needed to be freed by another person if he intended to pass my test.

"Then you might as well kill me now," he grumbled. "They won't help me."

"I wonder whose fault that is..." And having given those parting words, I tied Nanamaru up and left. She expressed great confusion at this change of plan, and was resistant to it; but I was fairly certain that Asakeno could find her and Mitomu easily. I didn't go far, as I figured there would be a high entertainment value associated with this meeting.

Indeed, Asakeno arrived within ten minutes. This was absurdly late for an Inuzuka, who should be built for tracking and pursuit, but I suppose they were distracted by their emotions.

"Asshole!" Asakeno screamed from the edge of the clearing. The paralysis seal was not something they could smell or hear, and so they seemed to grow wary when Mitomu didn't move.

"Asa!" Nanamaru called out, sounding more excited than a prisoner really should. I heard the absurd noise of her tail slamming the dirt, and wondered how it had come loose. Restraining dogs was not a specialty of mine.

"Nanamaru, are you okay?"

"Your dog is fine, she's just-"

"Oh, shut up. You smell awfully scared. I wonder, can you move?" It seemed that Asakeno had finally gotten a grasp on the situation, and took a few steps forward with confidence.

"He can't," Nanamaru helpfully informed them. "Me neither. Teacher got us."

That was an interesting choice of words, but I was a little disappointed that Nanamaru had ratted me out so easily. Didn't she hate Mitomu herself? Why would she help his case?

"Beat him up anyway," she added, confirming my opinion after all.

Asakeno was a more cautious person than I'd thought, and asked their canine partner a few more questions before they approached and began to untie her. In the meantime, Mitomu made an effort to catch his jaw on a rock in order to roll a little. I had heard of people capable of pulling themselves along by their jawbones, but Mitomu did not have the time to develop such a strategy before Nanamaru came over and sat on him.

"While we've got you here... Do you know how Nanamaru got her chakra back?"

"Go kill yourself," he said.

"Oh, I hoped you would say that. Let's bury him, Nana."

"Yay!"

"I'm not a child. I'm no longer afraid of worms."

It was at this point that I realized the two had some personal history, that their dissonance likely had its roots in something aside from Asakeno's clothing decisions.

"Well, I guess we'll find out. Dig deep, Nana! Let's bury him up to his neck."

"... Can you just beat me up and leave me be."

"Oh, but you'd like that too much." Asakeno's voice took on a mocking tone.

"Forget about that already. I was wrong. You're disgusting."

There are a lot of ways to interpret their exchange, and I amused myself by contemplating it all.

"Aren't you the one that's disgusting? I'm living my life true to myself, and you're out here acting like it hurts you. You even told me I look cute, and that you-"

"I thought you were a real girl! You tricked me."

... My amusement dissipated around then. A solid theory for their history was forming in my mind, and it was an unpleasantly familiar one. I hadn't been sure earlier quite how Asakeno actually felt about gender, but in that moment they made it clear.

"I'm a real girl when I'm a girl, and I'm a real guy when I'm a guy. But it's stupid of you to take it so personally when I was gonna turn you down anyway."

"Excuse me?"

Nanamaru cut that conversation short. "Hole!" She announced, pulling herself back out of it. Asakeno hurried to help, and then they worked together to push Mitomu into it.

"You'll die alone," he said as they began to push dirt in around him. "Nobody will ever want a freak like you."

"You wanted me, remember? Anyway, you're the one that's alone, asshole. I'll always have Nana."

"Even ninja dogs can only live thirty years, maximum."

This was the remark that broke the camel's back. Asakeno dove into the dirt to deliver a solid kick into his gut.

"Pathetic," he wheezed. "Don't you know how to use chakra enhancement?"

I understood his plan from there, but there was a fundamental issue to it. The outside chakra he needed to become free had to be passed through the seal on his back, and Asakeno was far more willing to attack him from the front.

After the third hit, Mitomu seemed to realize that it wasn't working at all, and made a fair guess about why. "What a - great - massage; any way you could - do my back next?"

"You're so messed up," Asakeno said, disengaging. "I don't even want to hit you anymore."

... Oh, that reminds me of a concept. Can't believe I'm interrupting myself to give you a fun fact, but research in that other world suggested that involuntary emotional reactions to outside stimuli last 90 seconds in the body, at best. After that, if you continue to feel angry, scared, disgusted, whatever - what you are actually reacting emotionally to are your thoughts.

Many people are under the impression that they cannot change their emotions because emotions are caused by outside forces beyond our control, but far more emotions are caused by our reactions to ourselves. It can certainly be difficult not to think about awful things, even when you know that thinking about it is what is causing you to feel, but we humans do have an innate coping skill for that: distraction. Force yourself to think about something else. Viciously multitask until reactionary thoughts are gone.

... That wasn't actually relevant to Asakeno ceasing her... their assault on Mitomu. Sorry, I am trying to recapture the way I was thinking and what I was perceiving in that moment, and I had thought Asakeno to be entirely and only female at the time, though they had planted a seed of doubt through that conversation...

Oh, right. Have I mentioned yet that Izumi was closing in on the other two during that beating? She seemed distraught, unsurprisingly. Asakeno also sensed her approach amidst burying Mitomu, and told him, "looks like you've got some luck. Maybe she'll help you out? If she even can. Anyway though, Nana - are you good?"

"Let's go!" The dog responded, tail wagging. She still does that just about each and every time someone says her name, even incorrectly. I don't think it is a conscious reaction.

Izumi came into Mitomu's line of sight just as Asakeno fell beyond it. "U-um," she said, slowing down. "Are you... Okay?"

"Is that a serious question?" He huffed under his breath.

"What?" Izumi asked, though I'm fairly certain that she heard him. Through her chakra I could feel her embarrassment.

"Nothing... Can you help me out here?"

"Um, how did you get like this?"

"Just dig me up enough to pour chakra on my back, please. I'll, make you a scarf or something."

Izumi thought on that for a moment. "No," she decided. "If I free you, I'd like you to apologize to Asakeno."

"They're the one that should be apologizing," he answered. "But-"

"If that's what you think, then please tell me your side of it," she requested. "He... She told me that you had been friends but in different classes, that you'd always seen her wearing dresses, and that she told you more about herself after you asked her out."

"They lied to me," he insisted. "I wouldn't have been interested in a guy. What would you think if the person you liked was actually a girl?"

Izumi spluttered, but managed a coherent answer. "I-if the person I like! Turned out to be a girl, w-well. I'd still want to be friends!"

"But they would have tricked you," he persisted.

Izumi took a few breaths, and thought on that. "I've never actually asked if he's a guy, and he's got long hair and a pretty face... If I'm the one who misunderstood, then it's my problem, right?"

"Huh?!"

I was also surprised by how open-minded Izumi seemed to be. She and Asakeno must have had quite the talk, I was left thinking.

"It's not really her you're mad at," Izumi said. "You need to forgive yourself, and apologize for ruining your friendship over that."

"Shut up, and go away." Mitomu's tone had deadened out again, presumably because he had finally realized how much he had lost a grip on his feelings.

"You don't want help?"

"Not from someone like you."

Izumi nodded, unsurprised, and lit up her sharingan. He took a sharp breath in response, feeling that instinctual fear that most do upon seeing the sharingan, but Izumi did not use it against him. She scanned my little clearing instead, looking for traps, and turned it off within seconds.

Izumi staggered a little; her chakra depletion from a few seconds' use was absurd. Then she set her packs down and began to gather twigs.

"What are you doing," Mitomu asked, exasperation creeping back into his tone.

"If I'm going to spend the night here, I want a good fire."

She was unwilling to abandon him, but unwilling to free him if he could not meet her conditions. I was a little impressed. All three were fools, but... In that moment, I saw some potential in Izumi.

While the two fell into a boring conversation, Asakeno managed to crash through a hornet-ridden tree, and I decided to go and observe that.

It was about as fun as I'd expected; both her and Nanamaru were howling and running full tilt toward the forest's edge. Nanamaru barely noticed the fence around the training ground in enough time to prevent Asakeno from smashing through it, which I would have been happy to treat as a resignation. As they were moving thoughtlessly, they soon fell into a particularly large pit trap.

"Are you kidding me?!" Asakeno roared, anger finally overcoming fear. Only a few hornets followed them into the hole, and Nanamaru and her owner began to snap at them. The awful taste of the hornets was likely offset by the feeling of triumph; they emerged from the pit within a few moments, victorious.

I followed them for a while as they mapped the area, noting when Asakeno's stomach began to growl. "Shut up," they told it more than once, but Nana was soon growling along. I wondered whether they had begun to regret only bringing sugar pills. I would discover later that Izumi had repeatedly offered them some nutrition bars she had packed, but Asakeno had bragged that they could manage wonderfully without. It had been about a day since the snacks at the tea house, and they seemed miserable.

There was food available throughout the forest - bugs, bark, small animals, mushrooms - but the autumn chill was hitting hard that year, and I doubted they could pull together a satisfying meal.

As I checked in on Izumi and Mitomu, I found that she had changed the conditions of her deal with him. He had to apologize to Asakeno first, and then she would release him. Presumably Mitomu had admitted that Asakeno had buried him, because Izumi was firmly convinced that Asakeno would come by sometime soon to check on him.

It seemed that they were all settling down for the night, and so I created a couple shadow clone and took shifts sleeping and observing. Asakeno tried to do the same with Nanamaru, but consistently ran into problems. Some type of rodent made off with their sugar pills partway through the night because Maruko dozed off, and Asakeno gave up about then, gathering and eating mushrooms. When they had a stomach-ache in the early morning, they mistook it for poisoning and began overdramatically screeching about it.

Izumi managed to stay up the entire night, clumsily trying to knit after learning the basics from a half-buried boy. Around one in the morning, when Mitomu woke again to the sensation of something slithering in his shirt, he began to talk to her about the joy he had found in killing small creatures in the woods. For the most part she seemed disgusted, but attempted to listen with empathy.

"I don't understand you at all," he eventually said. And then her story came out - about her father's death in front of her during the Nine Tails attack, about being forced to live with her mother's family, about the difficulties she has had in making friends. About how the only good friend she had seemed to be avoiding her, lately.

"I don't want to be alone," she said. "I just want to have friends. We're teammates now, so we need to get along at least."

"You're annoying." But Mitomu's feedback did not sound as harsh as it ought. He seemed thoughtful.

Indeed, Izumi's attitude was admirable, but she was the only one I had not yet harmed personally. I decided to change that in the morning of our second day, by dropping a horde of roaches in her bag while she was otherwise occupied. She had mostly brought clothing, blankets, and food, with a small bottle of pain medication as well. As I noticed this, I wondered why she expected to need it.

After consuming her food without her notice, the roaches then took notice of Mitomu's sweaty face and hair. His shrieking was vaguely satisfying, and caught Nanamaru's attention from across the grounds. Nanamaru had been pacing and nervously whining as she waited for Asakeno to stop composing herself a death poem, and took this opportunity to get help for her.

"Don't just leave me here!" They wailed after Nanamaru, getting up and gave chase. Izumi was in the process of stabbing roaches with kunai when they arrived, and Mitomu had continued to scream in the meantime.

"Asa's dying!" Nanamaru announced, though I doubt Izumi could hear her over Mitomu. And so the four were united, with sixteen hours left to go. 

There weren't many more personal conversations in that time, and Mitomu persisted in an unwillingness to apologize. He remained paralyzed because of that, with Izumi defending him from my various pranks. She grew more and more tired and stressed as that time wore on, but continued to stubbornly encourage the others to work together. I began to wonder if she had been told of the nature of this test, for I could not imagine having such tenacity otherwise.

As I have already said, self-discipline is mentally exhausting and requires calories. Even temporary starvation, combined with stress, can force people to act in a more honest manner. And indeed, Asakeno's confidence seemed to give way during the third day, and Mitomu only grew more annoying. Izumi remained appallingly kind, though she began to complain about nonhuman things soon enough.

With two hours left, I had a decision to make. Had I seen enough to pass or fail them? Did I have enough of a grasp on their weaknesses to make training schedules? I chose to give them one final test, and waited for them at the gates.

Asakeno noticed me first, naturally, and the three of them soon stood before me.

"Nice and early, this time," I noted. "Did you enjoy yourselves?"

Asakeno launched the first attack, which was a relief. I had already intended to attack them, but this gave me an excuse. I dodged their kick easily, and slid over to free Mitomu. I saw no reason to keep him in that state, when my intention was to measure their weaknesses. Their failings were exaggerated by exhaustion, dehydration, and strain; I was still able to use the data, however.

I'm running out of time to talk, so I'll just summarize; Mitomu proved to be physically weak, as I had expected, but very resilient. An attack intended to knock him out only dazed him. Izumi was certainly better with taijutsu than the other two, but her sharingan activated without her notice when Asakeno fell, and she soon fell also. Asakeno... after I broke their nose, they became rather useless. Though they continued to attempt to attack, they were not able to aim effectively and caught Nanamaru twice, despite the dog's frequent advice. It hardly took five minutes to have all three on the ground panting.

"An hour and thirty minutes until you can make your way out," I said, after checking my talking clock. That time didn't quite feel right, but I assumed that my own perception of it had been altered by a few nights with little sleep. When I began to snack on senbei thirty minutes later, Mitomu rose to try and steal them. Asakeno soon followed. 

I was still able to eat them all without much trouble by simply moving around, and the two collapsed in disappointment soon enough. I waited another thirty minutes to unseal some soup and juice, which likewise drove Mitomu and Nanamaru to action.

Izumi followed soon after, and I found it a little difficult not to spill anything thanks to her contribution. Asakeno stayed down, attempting to restore their nose. I hadn't known that they could use yin healing chakra, but they did not seem to be particularly good with it.

I began to set seals out during that fight, though I did not yet activate them. I found that Izumi was only familiar with visual genjutsu, unsurprisingly, and I was able to trick her into believing that she was trapped in a particularly strong visual illusion by affecting everything else.

At one point, I took pity on Asakeno and used an illusion which caused them to falsely believe their sense of smell had normalized, and I provided approximately correct smells... until I got them to use fang-over-fang on Mitomu, anyway. He did not appreciate that, and the two began to fight one another. Izumi saw this, but likely believed it to be a misdirection, and continued to attack a tree. I checked with my clock, and found that they had around twenty minutes. As I had the time to stand and contemplate, I realized that they all had a little potential, that I could envision their improvement. I activated the seals I had placed on the ground, and teleported them back into the center of the training grounds.

They did not arrive back in time, unfortunately. This was somewhat surprising to me... I had thought them to be in better condition. I was prepared to forgive them anyway, after a little lecture... but as I was in the midst of doing so, Mitomu suddenly made the release seal. "Check your clock again," he said. 

He had applied a subtle auditory illusion during our first fight, he claimed. And that's how they were able to arrive with a minute to spare.

... Hoo. I have a changing braille clock now, and it seems that it's past time for me to make dinner. It's still far too soon to feed baby Uzume solid food, but she seems to like sitting with us in a carrier. Assuming that Sasuke will eat on time, anyway... If I'm still nervous for tomorrow after dinner, I'll make another tape.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

It's about two in the morning, August fourth, and I'm out in the yard. I couldn't sleep, and I don't want to wake Sasuke or Ucchan up.

Tonight the air tastes a little nostalgic. The last time I sat in my own yard in the middle of the night, someone tried to arrest me for public intoxication... But the police are no more, and of the Anbu on duty around here right now, none are familiar with my drinking habits.

I have decided that I will not have another drink until you are old enough to legally drink with me, but it still hurts a little to think that Otohime will never again harass me about my pyromania. Supposedly I become obsessed with fire after a glass or two, and I have caused a great deal of property damage this way. Koori was generally my handler in those circumstances, and would call on Otohime when I became too much.

She had to throw me in a cell a few times... It is really difficult to conceptualize her death, especially when she is just one of many who fell that night. It really feels like Otohime could show up any minute now.

I think that once Izumi is awake, things will change. They will have to change. Maybe those deaths will feel more real, or perhaps they will feel less important by comparison with those who have lived. I don't think that the tragedy has really sunk in for Sasuke, either. He decided to learn medical techniques, and is extremely determined to train. Still, I think that... Somewhere deep down, he's hoping that it will all turn out to be a joke.

He can't remember anything from that night, and the Anbu who secured the scene didn't allow him to see any of the bodies when they woke him. I wonder if, subconsciously, he believes that he can earn the right to see his family again. If his drive doesn't fade with Izumi's awakening, I'm going to find him some specialists to train with.

Though he isn't permitted to graduate the Academy before the age of eleven, there's no reason to hold his training back. I don't intend to allow him to overstrain himself and cause injuries that will impact him later in life, but there is plenty of information and experience that he can gain here and now.

Ah, but I didn't start this tape to ramble about the Uchihas. I forgot; I was going to keep talking about my team, their formation.

Mitomu's strategic use of a minor illusion had allowed them to pass the real genin exam, fair and square. He had initially made an effort to prevent Asakeno from arriving on time, but Izumi had talked him around somehow. Arguably there had been teamwork involved, and so I decided to call it good. After congratulating them and receiving a chorus of complaints, I told them to meet me at noon the next day in the Hokage tower to take on their first real mission.

As it was already evening, I decided to visit Aburame Muta. At the age of fourteen he still lived in the Aburame clan grounds; he has always been the night owl type, though, so I often bothered him at late hours.

Actually, he lives in an apartment now, and it's about a two minute walk. I might head over there, as I can sense that he's awake.

[Transcriber's note: indistinct shuffling noises punctuate that statement.]

But anyway, when I visited him after passing Team Six, Muta was eager to spar. We traded news with blows; I thanked him for planting the hornets, and told him of my plan regarding Mitomu's presumable fear of insects. In turn, he told me about his most recent busywork as an Aburame clan member.

His clan is often called on to deal with local insect infestations, and Muta regaled me with the tale of a forgotten room in the Hokage tower that he had been asked to help with. He had already gotten the live insects out, but was hoping to have a genin team clean out the decaying remains of dead ones. "The dust is too much for us," he explained.

He used the collective we when referring to both his human self and the chakra-eating bugs living within his chakra pathways. I have always wanted to investigate how it is that they can share information and pain with each other, and why it is that the insects are alright with this deal. Is it truly in their best interests to serve the Aburame? Do they really have a consciousness, like Muta claims, or is he merely that desperate for social connection to another living thing?

I want to know, but I wouldn't know how to test it. I mean, consciousness is difficult enough to test for in people.

"Perhaps my genin could take that room on," I mused.

Indeed, when Team Six assembled for the first time before the missions desk, we were given three options. Watching the daimyo's wife's pets for two hours, cleaning out a forgotten room in the Hokage tower, or picking weeds in a greenhouse.

"Well, we're already here," Mitomu murmured. "Let's clean the room." Asakeno, having already read the braille note I passed them two minutes prior, nodded fervently.

Izumi seemed heartened that the two could agree on something, and also opted for it. I kept my smile small, reasonable, as the chunin behind the desk began reading the instructions out for us.

"Your orders are to remove dust and such from the room and scrub the walls, ceiling, floor."

I was thankful that he had not mentioned the room's real problem by name. It made the reveal thirty times more satisfying; I had removed the tarp blocking access to the hole in the hallway with an unnecessary flourish, and they gasped accordingly before choking on the dust. I had the sense to apply a cough mask to my face beforehand, of course, and offered the three masks and gloves for themselves.

"No thank you," Asakeno said bravely, though Nanamaru gladly wore the one I had made especially for her. "I navigate by smell, you know."

They would come to regret that decision later in the week, when they developed a sinus infection.

"How is this a task for ninja?" Mitomu, of course, complained.

"Our duty is to serve and protect our country. This falls under 'serving'." I smiled at him with my eyes. "But don't worry. I have a four hour training session planned after we're done that will be much more ninjalike."

I heard multiple groans, but pretended that I could not. This was plenty fair, in my opinion.

When they actually set to work, they became much quieter. Izumi used a broom to gather spider webs and drop hornet's nets. Mitomu held a dustpan while Asakeno swept at him, and continued to ask every now and again if I was certain that there were no living insects remaining; I couldn't sense any, and had faith in Muta's abilities. Nonetheless I gave him a noncommittal shrug each time.

By the way, I was in the hallway with a set of seals designed to repel dust surrounding me. While I am not afraid of dirt, I avoid it when I can.

All in all, they removed six bags of dust and insect remains before they began scrubbing the walls. I would say the first part took maybe an hour, while the actual cleaning required twenty minutes at best.

"Please, please let us shower before we train," Izumi begged, after we confirmed our mission's completion with the desk.

"It's just-" sneeze, "-a little dust! You'll need to shower after training anyway, you know!"

"No, no. Please shower and change," I requested. "Let's meet at Training Ground 25 in an hour."

That would essentially become 'our' training ground, as we rarely used any other. Our first dozen training sessions focused on Academy-level skills, ensuring that they actually had the basics down.

The Academy style of taijutsu didn't suit Mitomu at all, and I began teaching him the Shimura way. Izumi's taijutsu was excellent, but her chakra control was low and her reserves surprisingly tiny for an Uchiha. I set her on control exercises first, but would work with her on building her reserves over time.

And Keno... They were weak with genjutsu and taijutsu, and were prone to dispute. I was initially uncertain how to address any of that, and so spent our first week putting them under illusions and having a clone spar with them while their chakra was bound. Maruko helped where she could; I was really unsure what kind of training to offer a dog, and eventually turned to Hatake for advice. A month passed before I felt like taking them on a C-rank... But I can come back to that.

[transcriber's note: After a knocking sound, another voice becomes audible. I have used initials for Aburame Muta and Shimura Hisato.]

AM: Say the password.

SH: Jugemjugemgokonsurikirekaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsunraimatsfuraimatsu kunertokonisumutokoro Yabukojinoburakoji Paipopaipopaiponoshunngan Shunngannogunndai Gunndainoponpokpiponpokna Choukyumei no Chousuke.

AM: I need you to repeat that.

SH: Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kunerutokoro ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke.

AM: Hm. Acceptable.

[transcriber's note: There's a clicking sound that's probably a door opening.]

SH: I told you about the audiotapes I'm making...

AM: After I caught you talking to yourself. Would you would like an interview from me?

SH: Well, it's already on. I've been talking about my genin, telling the story of our team's formation.

AM: Uzume will meet them herself. Unless... Has Izumi's condition changed?

SH: It's not like that... Anyway, do you have any stories you'd like to tell?

AM: Have you already taped Jugemu?

SH: The naming story, and the time he hit a friend... Also, stopping at the first name is against the rules.

AM: Then, I can talk about the time he drowned.

SH: The time he nearly drowned, you mean.

AM: It's more amusing if his name kills him.

SH: He didn't die that way, okay? I'm going to make tea, so tell it properly.

AM: Understood.

[transcriber's note: After some painfully loud shuffling noises, Aburame Muta is left alone for the rest of the tape.]

Cough... Is this a good distance? I am not certain how far this can hear...

My name is Muta, and I am a friend of your father's. I understand that you have already heard the tale of Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyono Suigyomatsu Unyoumatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoroni Sumurutoko Yaburakojinoburakoji Paipopaipo Paipono Shuuringan Shuuringanno Guurindai Guurindaino Ponpokopino Ponpokonano Choukyuumeino Chousuke's birth. Tonight, I will teach you about his death.

This story takes place in a village so small that one could hardly call it such, which overlooked a deep lake and was not far from a temple. There were five children in this village, and only two were big enough to climb the gate which blocked access to the lake. These two were named Kin and Jugemujugemugokonosurikirekaijarisuigyono Suigyomatsunyomatsfuraimatsu kunerutokoronisumutokoro Yaburakojinoburakoji Paipopaipopaipono Shuuringanshuringanno Guurindaigurindaino Ponpokopino Ponpokonano Choukyuumeino Chousuke.

They were rivals and childhood friends, and challenged each other often to moronic dares. Both of them had been told by their parents to stay away from the lake, but in their ninth summer, Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikirekaijarisuigyonosuigyomatsunyomatsfuraimatskunnetokoronisumutokoyaburakojinoburakoji Paippaippaiponoshuringan Shuringannogurindainogurindaino Ponpokopinoponpokonano Choukyuumeinochouske challenged Kin to swim from one end of the lake, to the other.

Though Kin did not know how to swim, he was a nine year old boy and could not refuse the dare without losing face. He dove into the water as though he intended to run through it and was quickly overwhelmed. Kin began waving his arms and bobbing in the water. He was not able to scream because his body's instincts regarding drowning did not allow it.

Jugemu must have been trained in - sorry. Jugemu Jugemu Gokonosurikirekaijarisuigyono Suigyoumatsu Unyoumatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoronisumutoko Yaburakoji no Burakoji, Paippaippaiponoshuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai, Gurindaino Ponpokopinoponpokonano Choukyuumei no Chousuke must have been trained in recognizing drowning victims. He ran back into the village, screaming for help.

"Kin is drowning. Help him," he cried to each person he saw as he hurried up the road to the one person who he was sure could swim - Kin's father. "Your son is drowning in the lake, please hurry," Jugemujugemugokonosuikire Kaijarisugyonosugyomatsunyomatsfuraimatsu Kunetokoronisumutokoyaburakojinoburakoji Paippaippaiponoshuringan Shuuringannogurindai Guurindainoponpokpinoponpoknanochokyumenochoske requested.

"Kin is drowning?" He checked, and upon confirmation began running down the hill. He jumped the fence with ease, dove into the water like a dolphin, and was able to rescue his son just in time.

Though that must have been stressful, nine year old boys have no sense for danger. Within weeks they were playing by the lake again, and this time it was Kin who said, "You know how to swim, don't you? I dare you to swim from this bank to that one."

I will remind you that Jugemu Jugemu Gokouno Surikire Kaijarisuigyono Suigyoumatsu Unyoumatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoroni Sumutoko Yaburakojino Burakoji Paipopaipopaipono Shuuringan Shuuringanno Guurindai Guurindaino Ponpokopino Ponpokonano Choukyuumeino Chousuke, was also a nine year old boy. He had lied about knowing how to swim because he wanted to look cool. He could not possibly tell the truth now and had no choice but to accept the dare.

He managed several good strokes by copying Kin's father but became overconfident. Soon his arms were flailing uncontrollably. Kin saw this, and remembered his own terror. He ran into town yelling at the top of his lungs that, "Jugemujugemu gokonosuikirekaijarisugyono Sugyomatsunyomatsfuraimatsukunnetokoronisumutoko Yabukojinoburakojipappappaipono shuuringanshuringanno Guurindaigurindaino Ponpokpinoponpoknano Chokyumenochoske... Is drowning."

He could hardly breathe for shouting by the time that he reached his home. "Dad... help. Jugenshugen gokonsurikiri karijarisugyo..."

"Calm down son. I can't understand you at all. What's wrong?"

"Jegemu - Jugemu Jugemu, Gokonosurikire Kaijarisuigyo no Sugyomatsunyomatsufuuyomatsu -"

"Do you mean your friend Jugemu jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyono Suigyoumatsu Unyoumatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro -"

"He's drowning in the lake," Kin finally said.

"Oh," the father replied and started to run. But it was far too late for Jugemu Jugemu Gokounosurikire Kaijarisuigyono Suigyoumatsu Unyoumatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoroni Sumutoko Yaburakojino Burakoji Paipopaipopaipono Shuuringan Shuuringanno Guurindai Guurindaino Ponpokopino Ponpokonano Choukyuumeino Chousuke. Though Kin's father brought his small body back to shore, he did not breathe again.

After his death, his parents were heartbroken and unwilling to take the blame for their insistence on his absurdly long name; they blamed Kin for speaking too slowly, instead, though he was but a child. They did not see that Kin had lost a brother in the same way that they had lost a son.

It is important to me that he die in this story rather than be rescued by some strange force. In the real world death is often hidden from children, even ninja children. But death is real and children are at risk. Without knowing about death, you may allow your friends to take needless risks which may lose you a friend forever.

Also, you should not give a child a familiar name longer than four syllables. That is cruel.

That is all.

[transcriber's note: some scuffling precedes the end of the tape.]

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

It's been a long while since I've made an entry. In my defense, I've been busy, under watch, and now that I finally have a second to work on recordings, I have finally gotten to hear what Muta left for you. I contemplated trashing these tapes entirely to restart, and mostly left it as is because I haven't had the time to retape.

... Before I whine any further, we should play a little catch-up. My last few entries were from right around Tenzou's birthday, which was five months ago. I did go through with my plan to wake Izumi, and I was successful; but as I predicted, I was caught afterwards. I'm developing quite the reputation for disloyal conduct, and the Third Hokage's council did not allow him to pardon me entirely. My punishment is still fairly tame, compared to what it could have been; I was taken off of paternal leave, am required to spend six hours a day helping at the hospital, and I have to spend twenty hours a week aiding in Izumi's rehabilitation. My punishment will be complete next month.

This is exhausting, but honestly? The worst part has been rarely spending time with Uzume. You're rolling around and sitting up now, which is frankly terrifying. It feels like just yesterday you couldn't lift your own head.

But, missing a few... major milestones - Well, it isn't too bad, really. I mean, the typical child can't consciously remember something from before about age two. As long as you're not like me, you wont ever need to know. Tenzou, Sasuke, and Izumi have been your primary caretakers in these last few months, and I think they've all done fairly well. I've been surprised by how well Sasuke and Izumi can work together where you're involved, as they fight a rather lot otherwise. Which reminds me - oh, but, before I talk about that -

Right, I'm getting a little flustered. I should go back to the day that I last made a tape and proceed chronologically from there. I spent the night at Aburame Muta's apartment, staying awake and aware. Before I headed for the hospital, I ascertained that someone could watch you for the day. Koori was occupied, Sasuke had school... I think Iwate came over? Yes, it was him. I misled him about the amount of time I would be away from the house, though I did leave a shadow clone with him for the first few hours.

Three attempts had been made on Izumi's life during her stay in the hospital by "unknown parties", and so the Third had ordered guards for her. I was familiar with each of them and their rotation, and was easily able to replace one and take their partner out in order to have a half hour to work on Izumi uninterrupted. The actual procedure I used to wake her involved painting a seal onto her neck that closely resembles the one Ubusuna placed on me. In my case, the seal allows me to access a mental world of my own creation, but Izumi has little say over what occurs in the place I created for her. It served its purpose, though - Izumi woke up.

It deeply concerned me that I could so easily bypass her guards. Even after Izumi was awake, and I was able to run a few tests on her cognitive status, I decided to stay with her. I could not trust the hospital with her, not after I knew for certain that she was the same person who had nearly always been my favorite student. And I was still there with her,  doing my best to convince her that she could survive despite losing her eyes and her family, when backup finally arrived. Sarutobi Hiruzen, our Third Hokage, had to come in person before I allowed Izumi to speak with anyone out of fear that she might say something that would cause - ah, nevermind.

The Third really disappointed me that day.

He gave me the impression that he had not wanted Izumi to recover, and certainly not like this - and he implied that she might be taken in for investigation because of my actions. I was very frank in response, giving some unwise and impassioned speech about my suspicions regarding the Uchiha massacre. Though he did not confirm or deny anything, he did not punish Izumi and agreed to place her in my care soon after.

Izumi had already been a legal adult for two years - having become a ninja at eleven - but her independent status is challenged by her total loss of vision. Muscle degeneration that occurred during her coma was also taken into account. Thus her chuunin status is suspended pending positive reports from a licensed physician. I have been named her legal guardian in the meanwhile, and I was formally granted custody of Sasuke as well.

He is less than pleased about this, as he frequently reminds me. Other members of this village are also outraged by this arrangement.

It is almost funny how the average villager now grieves for the Uchiha as a vital part of Konoha; just last year, the Uchiha were mistreated, doubted, and severely underappreciated. Is this guilt, I wonder? But at any rate, people strongly feel that someone as rebellious and strange as Shimura Hisato should not have both of Konoha's remaining Uchiha in his care.

Sasuke isn't annoyed by politics, of course. He's like, nine at the most. It's the fact that I am no longer providing serious training that irks him; that is all he wanted from me in the first place. He is still working on chakra control and attempting to figure out the healing palm technique, and maybe in another month or two I'll have the time to teach him something more interesting.

While Izumi was still unconscious, Sasuke admitted to me that she was entirely unfamiliar to him - but he still asked to learn medical techniques in the hope that he could save her and future family members. This seemed very forward-thinking and respectable, and I wanted to house him for Izumi's sake anyway, so I agreed to train him so long as he lived with me.

However... Even though they are the only family each other has left, Izumi and Sasuke get along poorly. Sasuke takes himself too seriously, and has a deeply pessimistic streak. This is realistic of him, but it clashes with Izumi's outlook. She is, admittedly, not as positive as she used to be. Life has dealt her a very harsh hand, taking away her eyes, her mother, her closest friend; and leaving her with nothing but questions. But as she said the other day, "If I don't focus on the bright side, I can't feel happy. And they wouldn't want me to suffer."

She really enjoys caring for you, Uzume. Because I call myself your father, she has been trying to convince you to call her 'Mom'. There are two factors behind my irritation with her on this: every time I hear her say that, I am reminded that she is spending more time with you then I am - but also, if anyone were to believe that you had Uchiha ancestry for even a moment, you would be in danger. I appreciate her enthusiasm and I am glad to leave you with someone who can give you love and positive attention, but I hope that Izumi will learn to take your safety - and her teacher's feelings - more seriously.

As for Sasuke, he is much more careful to emphasize that you are unrelated to him. Even if he sometimes describes you in unpleasant terms, it's obvious that he sees you as a little sister. I don't know how much this situation will change in the future, but. For the moment, I feel I should admit that my mind has changed considerably where he is concerned.

I mentioned already in these tapes that I read a manga about this world in my past life; I might have also said that Sasuke was a main character. I told you before not to worry about it, but if I die before seeing this through, I can't leave you and Sasuke in the dark. Knowing will put you at risk, but the world may very well end if no one stands up to save it.

Sigh. I don't want to get into it right now, though. I wish I could avoid it forever.

A few months ago, when I thought my interference in Sasuke's life would be very small, I wanted to teach him a few medical skills as quickly as possible that would be useful at a much later date. I still expected him to be like the Sasuke from that manga, the one who would never know Izumi and who had been severely traumatized by his family's deaths; the Sasuke that then spent years living alone surrounded by their ghosts, not knowing why they had been killed. Our Sasuke seems stronger, but aimless. I don't know how to help him. I still don't want to see him follow the path that other version of him did, the path of a puppet who mindlessly seeks revenge and power and is passed around from one puppeteer to another, but I don't like seeing him so, so unmotivated, either.

My hope for Sasuke... I want him to have a sense of empathy, of personal morality. I want him to be motivated by the promise of the future, by the people he can still save rather than the people who are already lost. That does include me, if I've died. Because the words of the dead can no longer adapt to a changed situation, they are not reliable.

Ugh, anyway. I'm going to resume the tale of team six with my next tape, and I'll get to telling Sasuke about the manga soon enough. If I should die before sharing details, the two of you should ask Izumi about it. I've only given her faint details, and she considered it a joke, but... The aliens, the zombies, the magic tree, Madara's death. I wasn't lying about any of that.

Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

The Leaf's council has decided that Uchiha Itachi alone is to blame for the massacre. Sasuke hasn't been informed yet, but Izumi and I were present for the discussion. She was levelheaded there, smiled at people all the way back… but she's been holing up in her room all week.

I'm not sure what she does or doesn't remember about the attack, but I'm sure she doesn't want to believe that Itachi would have killed her mother and his own parents. The council's case was fairly weak, and hinged on the rumor that Itachi had recently been spotted near the village of Rain; I don't think that Sasuke will believe it for a moment. A stronger case could have been made by pointing out that the only survivors - also the only two that weren't attacked physically - had close ties to Itachi. However, if things are as I suspect, they held back from saying so to prevent the other clans present from laying suspicion on Sasuke. Nonetheless, I think many of them are also concluding that this was an inside job.

I had intended to further discuss my genin team, but this new political development has me feeling pressured to open a very different tale; the legend of Princess Kaguya. I learned many versions of this story in my previous life, as it was a famous historical tale, and though I have not heard it in this world I know it will someday be relevant to you.

The story's original title was The Tale of The Bamboo-Cutter; though it was a work of fiction in that world - perhaps the first-ever science-fiction novel - there might have been some truth behind it. Old records mentioned a lord named Sanuki no Miyatsuko and his daughter Kaguya, who had been one of the emperor's concubines; but I suppose it is unlikely that he began as an impoverished man and she as some magical alien baby. Those sort of things didn't happen in my world.

Most versions of the story I had heard had a few consistent details, likely from the text, and yet there were points where each differed. In each, Sanuki began as a poor bamboo-cutter who happened upon something strange in the bamboo grove; perhaps he saw a light fall from the sky, or else he might have simply seen a bamboo stalk glowing. By following that light, he would find a little girl. Kaguya's original form may have been as a fully grown girl, only thumb-sized - she might also have seemed to be an ordinary human baby. Regardless, Sanuki was thankful to the gods for delivering him a child and swore to raise her as his own; he and his wife had never been able to produce children.

As Kaguya grew - perhaps with extraordinary speed, and perhaps at a human rate - Sanuki began to find other glowing stalks in the bamboo grove. Piles of gold, yards of finely woven cloth - these gifts from within the bamboo led Sanuki to believe that the gods wished him to make Kaguya a princess, and he bought land and had a mansion built for her. Kaguya grew to be a dazzling beauty - I believe her full given name was something like "The Shining Princess of the Supple Bamboo". Men began to hear of her and come seeking her hand in marriage, but Kaguya had no intention to marry and rejected them all.

However, it came to pass that several men came for her hand, each with power greater than what her father had managed to buy with his god-given gold; and these were not men that she could reject easily, lest her father and their home come under attack. Kaguya arranged to speak with them all at once - I'm surprised that the men agreed to such an inconvenient meeting, but perhaps they wanted to see their competitors directly. 

Each suitor tried to romance her, each comparing Kaguya to a mythical treasure - a dragon's jewel, Buddha's stone begging bowl, the fire rat's robe, a jeweled tree - and she used this against them. Kaguya told the men that she would marry the first man to bring her the treasure he'd mentioned, so that she could see for herself if it equalled her in beauty; this was incredibly arrogant of her, certainly, and it could have been very dangerous - but that honestly just makes it even more of a power move.

In some versions the suitors gave up at first, and only grew interested after one took up the challenge; for example, the man who had mentioned the jeweled tree lost nearly all of his wealth, and so concocted a false jeweled branch to bring to Kaguya so that he could obtain Sanuki's gold. The man was caught out in his lies, and fled - but the rumor that he had tried to go through with her request led to a renewed interest in her hand. Suitor after suitor went out to seek the treasures they'd promised; depending on the version, two or three died on the quest. Elsewise they may have given up and brought fakes, which the cunning Kaguya disproved one-by-one until there were no suitors left. 

Unfortunately for her, the reports of Kaguya's beauty and wiles reached the Emperor. In many versions, the Emperor came to the conclusion that Kaguya had been rejecting these men because she sought the highest prize as a wife of the Emperor. He came to her home, demanded to see her - but realized quickly that she was not a being of this Earth. The Emperor of that country was meant to be a descendent of the sun goddess Amaterasu, after all, and thus blessed with an understanding of that which others could not know. The Emperor still offered to marry her despite what he knew, but in most versions he accepted her rejection respectfully and became a friend and penpal to Kaguya. 

For whatever reason, there came a day when Kaguya turned depressed and withdrew from those around her; when her foster father, Sanuki, finally badgered her into explaining why she was upset, he learned that Kaguya had regained her memories of a life spent before she'd appeared in the bamboo grove, when she'd lived on the moon. 

The exact details are fuzzy here as well - Kaguya may have been the daughter of the king on the moon, his fiancee, or perhaps just another moon citizen. Kaguya had already wanted to come to the earth, had perhaps even been there before - generally the reason given was that she wanted to experience human joy and pain - but often the story would go that Kaguya was sent to earth was to be punished. I'm not sure if the gifts Sanuki found were sent to worsen things for her or to ensure her comfort; this seems to depend on the version. It's unclear what crime she committed - in some versions it even seems like escaping to earth was her crime - but when Kaguya's memories of the moon returned she also received a message; the people of the moon would come for her soon, and they would be erasing all of her memories of the time she had spent on earth. 

Terrified of losing her, Sanuki responded to this by hiring armies of soldiers to guard her and prevent the moon from stealing her away. In versions where Kaguya had befriended the Emperor, he gladly sent all of his men to protect her. Kaguya continued to weep and mope, for she knew that they stood no chance; and indeed the party from the moon went right through the soldiers unhindered. They found Kaguya, placed the robe of forgetting upon her, and took her away from her father and his home...

I think that the best frame of reference to give you would have been the version from the Studio Ghibli movie. I am continually disappointed that Studio Ghibli does not exist in this dimension, as I would love to show you their films. The Tale of Princess Kaguya was not one of their most popular movies, but the art style and themes made it my personal favorite. I'd watched it countless times, written an essay in school about its use of perspectives to change the tale's original political message and make it more empowering for women.

In the Ghibli version, Kaguya appeared first as a dolllike princess that fit in Sanuki's palm, and then as a screaming baby girl; Sanuki's wife, still unnamed, played an enormous role throughout Kaguya's new life.

This version definitely leaned toward viewing the gold and cloth gifted to Sanuki as a way that the moon people were punishing her - Kaguya had wanted nothing more than to live wild and free like an animal, rather than dolled up and caged as a princess. She had friends among the poor people of the mountains, including a boy with the rather depressing name Sutemaru. Together they had run around half-naked, gathering food and playing all day, right up until the night Sanuki moved her to the mansion he'd built in the capital wuth the money the moon people had given him.

This Kaguya didn't want to grow up or act like a lady ever, if she could help it; she longed for the days she'd spent laughing in the mountains.

As she grew older - and at a very rapid pace - there was pressure on her to become a "real" noble princess, a beauty that never cries or laughs. A living doll that always moves with grace.

Though Kaguya rebelled against this time and time again, she began to feel that her situation was hopeless and went to her mother for comfort; she alone understood Kaguya.

Those suitors who came for her - five, in this version - were men that obviously saw Kaguya as a trophy, something to set up in a display and brag about; thus Kaguya was incredibly proud of herself for offending them all in one fell swoop.

She did this by asking them to bring her the treasures they had compared to her beauty, despite never seeing her face. Her father, Sanuki, was infuriated - he didn't even try to understand why Kaguya was acting this way, and just pushed forward in trying to find her a husband. He believed that marrying well would give her a happy future, and that it was what the gods wanted.

Only one of the suitors died in this version - three brought fake treasures before her, and another gave up after nearly being killed at sea. The Emperor of this story was a bit of an ass, and it was ultimately his fault that the moon people came for Kaguya - the Emperor had attempted to carry her away physically, and Kaguya had cried out to the moon for help. She definitely did not befriend the guy, just stared him down as he continued to try and convince Kaguya that he was her best chance at "obtaining happiness" even after she'd shown him her supernatural power.

It was her mother who got the story of the moon from Kaguya, and it was her mother that snuck Kaguya out of the capital so that she could see the mountains once more. Kaguya saw Sutemaru there, spoke with him; told him that she would have married him if she could have, and that she was going to disappear from the world soon - a good man, Sutemaru swore to protect her and tried to comfort her, but Kaguya looked to the moon and realized that she could not return to the happy days of her childhood.

She left Sutemaru in the mountains, unsure if he had truly seen her or merely dreamt it; and Kaguya returned to the mansion to wait for her doom.

The moon people here looked like buddha statues, with drooping earlobes, jeweled foreheads, and serene expressions. They rolled up on large clouds playing wildly upbeat music interspersed with what sounded like monkey calls, the rhythm of which I certainly have not forgotten but cannot seem to mimic.

When the soldiers Sanuki hired fired arrows on them, the arrows turned to flowers, and one by one each person in the mansion fell unconscious until only Kaguya and her parents remained awake.

They were allowed to say their goodbyes to her, I suppose because they had been excellent pawns; Kaguya tried to fight, to explain to the moon people why she doesn't want to forget her time there and the emotions she has experienced - but the moon people firmly believed that emotion and pain were like poison, tainting one's soul.

There is a song that was sung several times throughout the film, in different versions; as Kaguya confronted the moon people, this verse was sung.

Maware, maware, mawareyo; mizuguruma maware

Mawatte Ohi-san yonde koi, mawatte Ohi-san yonde koi!

Tori, mushi, kemono; kusa, ki, hana

Haru natsu aki fuyu tsurete koi; haru natsu aki fuyu tsurete koi!

Maware, maware, mawareyo; mizuguruma maware!

Mawatte Ohi-san yonde koi, mawatte Ohi-san yonde koi!

Tori, mushi, kemono; kusa, ki, hana

Saite minotte chitta to te; umarete sodatta shinda to te;

Kaze ga fuki, ame ga furi, mizuguruma mawari

Senguri inochi ga yomigaeru

Senguri inochi ga yomigaeru

This part had me crying when I first heard it, as I came to understand what Kaguya had been deprived of because Sanuki had tried to make her into a princess. Her parents chased her up into the air, clouds assisting them, and her mother's cry woke her just before the robe could be placed on her to cause her to forget this world.

Though Kaguya cried with her parents and defended the importance of suffering, the robe was forced onto her and her eyes went blank. Even as her parents cried, she joined in the procession back to the moon willingly. It was only when earth was a distant speck that Kaguya glanced back, tears forming in her eyes; and the movie ended with the heartrending image of the happy baby she had once been set against the full moon. 

Ultimately, the Ghibli version was a story of family pressures, the irreversible nature of time, societal expectations, individual happiness, and it strongly suggested that animal nature is more wonderful than anything human societies can hope to make. Its messages about human nature were rather dim overall, really. 

Kaguya would have been happy if the moon people had sent her to live as a bird, a tree, or if they had not sent Sanuki gold; but as I've said, her life there was intended as a punishment from the start. 

There is probably more I could say about Kaguya - I'd kind of like to tell you the bizarre version that relates to the world you and I live in now - but Tenzou and Uzume went out for groceries what… an hour and a half ago? And it kind of feels like they're at the graveyard with... I've got to go handle that, so I'll tell you another time. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Well, I feel like a fool, but I've only just noticed that my team got ahold of this and taped something. I'm deleting it. Those idiots need to stay out of my things.

Anyway, I will be telling you what I know about another tale of Kaguya, this one from my knowledge my past self had of this world, as well as the tales of her descendents.

The anime I watched and the manga I read differed in slight but significant ways; I am always trying to figure out which better fits this world I'm existing in, but I haven't been able to lock it down definitively. Some of the people I've met here were shown in the anime and in light novels but not in the manga, like Izumi. This is why I want to warn you that the version of Kaguya's tale that I am about to share may not be the correct one, as it was anime-only. The manga gave us only a few details. 

Firstly, that there was a divine tree with a single fruit; that a white-haired woman named Kaguya ate it to end a human war; that she was sent by the Ootsutsuki clan to bring the fruit back to them; that she bore two half-human sons; that she began using human lives to make herself more powerful; that she attempted to steal back the chakra her sons had been born with; that her sons were named Hamura and Hagoromo; that they sealed her away; and that a tiny part of her escaped the seal, developed its own personality, and began working to free her. Her body, combined with the Divine Tree, became what we call the moon; her chakra became a beast with ten tails that was eventually divided into nine beasts. 

I'll tell you more about her sons and the beasts afterward, but from here I will share a story that may or may not be true.

In this tale, there were two countries near the Divine Tree; the land of Ka and the land of Sou. King Tenji of the land of Sou was the kind of man who sought peace even at his own expense, and he was there to witness when Kaguya fell like a star into a bamboo forest. He had her brought to him, and she blew his soldier's spears away when they dared to point them at her.

She introduced herself as Kaguya using the ancient and royal pronoun "warawa"; she was given a house and a servant, Aino, who saw how Kaguya looked at the Divine Tree and told her of the rumors that a demon lived around it, leaving anyone who dared to approach as a dried-out husk. Presumably, this was Kaguya. Tenji visited her often to discuss his dreams of peace, and supposedly she fell in love with him. At the least, she slept with him.

The neighboring country Ka had been pressuring King Tenji to give them the lake which provided the water for Sou's rice fields. Impatient with him, one of Ka country's important people slipped into the country to steal Kaguya, calling her Tenji's concubine. She blew the soldiers away, and when they continued to attack, blew them up.

Meanwhile Tenji had apparently set a law in place that guaranteed anyone who harmed a Ka citizen would be executed. When the man that tried to kidnap Kaguya showed up with one of her servants as witness that Kaguya had murdered his men, Tenji gave the order to have Kaguya killed.

Kaguya and Aino ran for it, going toward the Divine Tree. They were surprised to be attacked by Sou soldiers, and Kaguya was unable to fling away arrows - apparently because she was pregnant? Weird that it hadn't stopped her earlier. Anyway, Aino was killed because of that, and then Kaguya ate the Divine Fruit and sets an overpowered illusion over the whole world, turning all of Sou's soldiers and King Tenji into cocoons that would provide energy to the tree. Standing alone, Kaguya declared that she and her sons would reign over this world and force humans to be peaceful.

… Repeating the story only reinforces how stupid it sounds to me. This is my personal belief, but I don't think this is the real story. The person who plotted this episode was probably attempting to give viewers a way to empathize with Kaguya without being so empathetic that we'd be bitter when she utterly fails to receive any character development. Her character didn't make any sense, though! How was she desperate for peace and also a demon that killed all who approached the tree? Why did she have to kill the Ka people? If she gave a fuck about the Sou people - ah, sorry. It's just aggravating.

She's so important to this world - the source of all chakra, the mother of the Sage of Six Paths - so why do I have so little information on her? Why does it feel so inaccurate?

But to continue the story, there was a connected, probably-untrue explanation of how her sons overthrew her. It began with Hamura and Hagoromo as adults, called by their friend Haori to resolve a dispute between townspeople. They learn that an important river has become weak, and the twins go to explore it. Hamura is shown to have the byakugan, now belonging solely to the Hyuuga clan, and they quickly find the rock someone has placed to block the river. As an aside, the Byakugan gives a user nearly 360 degree vision, enables them to see through items and distinguish chakra points, and may be able to send chakra pulses to push away enemies. It has a pale, pupil-less appearance, and veins near the eye pop when the byakugan is active.

A frog, Gamamaru, is apparently to blame for the rock; the frog tells them that he has done this because he had a prophetic vision that the twins would be able to defeat Kaguya, and so he sought to get their attention. The twins can't imagine why they would want to hurt their mother, and so Gamamaru urges them to go look at the Divine Tree up close. 

They only go after hearing from a traveling man that Kaguya has been murdering rebels who dislike the ritual of the Divine Tree; all the people involved disappear forever. The twins only become involved when their friend Haori is sent as part of that ritual, asking Kaguya to end the ritual. When she refused, they asked her where the people disappear to, and she essentially told them to stop thinking about it.

The twins go to the Divine Tree and find their friend and the rest of the missing people dead in cocoons attached to the tree. Seeing his dead friend awakens a full sharingan in Hagoromo; this is reasonable in some ways and not in others. The sharingan looks blood-red, with three black tomoe spinning around where the pupil should be, and generally activates in times of severe emotional duress. Usually one tomoe appears at a time, representing taijutsu, genjutsu, and ninjutsu respectively. There is a couple of especially unique abilities that come from fully formed sharingan, but the use of either renders the eye unusable, and so I will not share details. I will tell you that I believe the person who has Izumi's eyes wanted so many sharingan so that they could overuse those single-use techniques.

When Gamamaru sees Hagoromo's sharingan, he somehow knows they have discovered Kaguya's secret, and he brings the twins to the Land of Frogs. He shows them the full of the suffering Kaguya has brought to the lands, and then teaches Hagoromo how to sense and use natural chakra. Hamura is attacked by his mother in the meantime, and when Hagoromo goes to confront her she uses Hamura as a puppet against him. Hagoromo nearly kills his brother to free him from Kaguya's control, and in the moment where he seems to have killed him, he unlocks a doujutsu known as the rinnegan. 

The rinnegan is pale purple and ringed throughout, like the eye of a chameleon. Hagoromo uses one of its powers to revive Hagoromo; I think I should really take a moment to talk about other things the rinnegan can do. It is the most powerful doujutsu I've ever heard of, and is named after the Buddhist cycle of reincarnation. Its powers can likewise be broken down into categories by the realms into which one can be reincarnated. Deva is the realm of the gods, where endless pleasures can be found, and its powers are somewhat magnetic; one can attract or repel objects within a certain range. Asura - the realm of demons - involves creating limbs, regrowing them, and the ability to integrate them with objects. Human abilities can extract information, but cause the death of the target. Animal powers actually match my expectations somewhat, allowing the user to summon certain immortal creatures without hand signs or seal; the Preta path could create chakra-absorbing barriers; and the Naraka path could call forth something known as the King of Hell which can seize a person's soul and sever it should they lie. The King of Hell might also be able to heal and store items and bodies extra-dimensionally. Aside from all that was the "outer path" ability to revive people fully at the cost of the user's life, or to summon souls in a chakra body at the expense of that chakra. 

Anyway, Hagoromo's rinnegan and Hamura's byakugan work together to beat their mother down, and fearing that she will lose, Kaguya merges the Divine Tree into her body, becoming a vaguely rabbitlike ten-tailed beast. From there, the twins' fight with her went on for months until Hagoromo was finally able to seal her power with the rinnegan. In the anime, he immediately split her chakra into nine beasts while Hamura took the ten-tailed body into space. Somehow Hamura also had a family up there, it's a little unclear. According to the manga, Hagoromo didn't make the nine beasts until he was nearing death himself, so I'll talk about them later.

I still have some time to talk, and there were also episodes of the anime focused on Hagoromo's sons, Indra and Ashura. The essential details are thus; Hagoromo was growing in fame as the Sage of Six Paths, giving chakra to the people and teaching them Ninshu, something that was halfway between ninjutsu and a religious practice. Ninshu was meant to create lasting peace by bringing people together and letting them see one another's hearts, and one of Hagoromo's sons was expected to inherit his school. 

Indra had a natural talent with chakra, and was a brilliant child overall. He was also absolutely adorable with long, fluffy, soft-looking black hair that floated around him and princely round eyebrows; I cooed at him whenever he was on screen. Ashura was friendlier but a bit dense, super plain, and struggled to use chakra. Despite their differences, the two were quite close as children, something their unknown enemy took advantage of.

That unsealed fragment of Kaguya that I mentioned came into play while they were young; it had taken on a strange appearance with black skin, yellow button eyes, and green hair, and wore a straw hat. I don't remember the details, but it created a situation in which Ashura was in grave danger, and Indra activated a sharingan when saving him. It offered Indra greater power, which I believe he rejected at least once. 

With his sharingan, Indra proved to be even more powerful, blowing people away in self-defense classes. He became cold and arrogant, developing warlike techniques, and the other followers became afraid of him and of what he would do if he inherited his father's position.

When the day eventually came for the Sage of Six Paths to choose between his sons, he set them each a similar task. Fragments of the Divine Tree were killing villagers somehow in two places, so Indra was sent to help one and Ashura the other. 

Indra handled things there within a day, easily finding and eliminating the source of the problem by himself. Ashura lacked the strength or sight to handle his that way, and had to work together with the townspeople for years to solve the problem. Many of those people accompanied him back to the school of Ninshu, bearing witness to his work there. 

It turned out that the Divine Tree fragments had been providing the only known water source in both areas in addition to incurable diseases. By destroying it without giving the people another water source, Indra had doomed those people and they had since died. For that reason, Ashura was named Hagoromo's successor. Indra, infuriated by this, ended up killing his supporters and obtaining the mangekyou sharingan.

The mangekyou sharingan is a major secret of the Uchiha clan, and unlike others I have discussed, people might actually believe you about it. Izumi has seen them before. Their powers also differ from one user to another, but at any rate the mangekyou is activated by believing you have caused the death of someone important to you. Actual death is not required, luckily. Known powers include Amaterasu, Susanoo, Kamui, Kotoamatsukami, and Tsukuyomi; a user might have Tsukuyomi in their left eye and Amaterasu in their right, but they could only obtain two of those powers maximum through natural means. The Amaterasu technique creates unquenchable black flames, Susanoo creates a giant purple chakra armor, Kamui allows one to open a portal into a second dimension, Kotoamatsuki alters a person's mind without the risk they or anyone else will notice, and Tsukuyomi is an inescapable illusion. There are advanced forms of all of these techniques, but… they're annoying, so I'll get back to the story at hand.

Indra's mangekyou allowed him to form Susanoo and use Amaterasu; he attacked the temple, and was met at the gates by Ashura who fought him with all his strength. Hagoromo passes his powers to Ashura, and the other people of the school work together to add to his strength.

When Indra was defeated, he fled to fire country and formed a clan around what he named ninjutsu. This was of course the Uchiha clan, who are still the sole possessors of the sharingan.

Incidentally, the Sage of Six Paths claims in these episodes that the sharingan warps the mind of its user. I don't believe that's inevitable; Izumi awakened her sharingan at an extremely young age and only lost it recently, at thirteen. She in no way typifies that idea… and she's about to walk in, oops.

[There's a soft clicking sound, and an indistinct voice.]

Oh, you don't have to. I was just about to sing about the nine beasts the Sage of Six Paths created from his mother's chakra.

… 

Yep, she ran right off. Izumi definitely thinks I'm insane, but as long as she still treats me as competent, I suppose it's fine. Now, the song starts out…

One, dozing off more than humans, Shukaku

Two, burning with fire, Matatabi

Three, leave the water to him, Isobu

Four, hot as lava, Son Gokū

Five, always on the run, Kokuō

Six, not overdoing it and not in hurry, Saiken

Seven, the flying leaf insect, Chōmei

Eight, "whee" as expected, Gyūki

Nine, past-and-present all-mighty, Kurama

All the Tailed Beasts have gathered together magnificently

They're a little difficult, but they're good names

They all have splendid names

They all have fantastic names

… To clarify, they are numbered by the number of tails they have. The nine-tailed fox that you may have heard trashed Konoha a number of years ago is the Kurama mentioned here. The second part of this song involves some classified information, some of which may prove untrue as I may have altered the timeline irrevocably. It should be a list of the names of each beast's vessel, the person they were sealed within. The name of the nine-tails' carrier is meant to be a secret in the Leaf, but all the adults know, so…

One, with awful bags under his eyes, Gaara

Two, gently brushing a meowing cat, Yugito

Three, the Fourth Mizukage, Yagura

Four, forty years with Four-Tails, Rōshi

Five, with stern power, Han

Six, quiet and casually dressed, Utakata

Seven, the soothing kunoichi, Fū

Eight, with the sick raps, Killer B

Nine, from Konoha, Naruto Uzumaki

These people are going to become targets for anyone who wishes to revive Kaguya because of the beasts they hold, so it would probably be for the best if you didn't get close with any of them. Killing one would also be a way to delay her resurrection temporarily, as it would take the beast a while to reform after dying with their host. If nothing is done otherwise, that will happen to three-tailed Isobu in a few years, creating a much-needed delay…

I might try to prevent it anyway. I'm still trying to decide how I will involve myself in the plot to revive Kaguya, as my opinions have changed considerably since taking Izumi and Sasuke in.

I don't think I sounded all that coherent today, but hopefully I've managed to give you a lot of the important details. Good night!

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Um, hello. This is Izumi. I can't figure out how to play through the tapes and check whether or not the one Mitomu, Keno, and I made for you is still here, so I'm not sure whether you've heard from me already.

Sensei - Uzume's father, Shimura Hisato, I mean - said he would make these tapes available to Uzume and Sasuke if we died young. There's still a lot of people trying to kill me, and there's a lot that I need Sasuke to know. I'm just going to try and fit in some of the most important things.

If anyone else in the village hears this - aside from Sasuke, Hisato-sensei, and possibly Uzume - things could go pretty badly. I've lied about a lot of things in this last year, after all. 

Ha, the really hard part is deciding where to start. I guess… Sasuke, you've acted like you're pretty used to people admiring our clan. When people have called out to us in public, you've acted like it's natural for them to treat us with respect. Itachi had told me more than once that he and your parents wanted to keep you happy and comfortable for as long as possible, but it still really surprised me.

So I think I should start by telling you this truth; most of Konoha disliked and distrusted our clan this time last year.

Certain people were more vocal than others, like Shimura Danzou. I don't know what you know about him, but he's one of Lord Third's primary advisors; they were on the same genin team, along with an Uchiha. Danzou is also Hisato-sensei's great-uncle, and caused Sensei a lot of pain and suffering. The Shimura clan had ancestorally been allied with the Senju as enemies of the Uchiha, and Danzou grew up hearing that we were dangerous and untrustworthy. Danzou and the Third were students of the Second Hokage, who had fought against the Uchiha clan all his youth. 

You were a baby when the Nine-tailed Fox attacked the village, so you wouldn't know this, but the Uchiha didn't used to have a compound. We all were living among the people, especially me; as you know, my mother married out of the clan, so I grew up with a different last name.

When my dad died in the Kyuubi attack, that changed a lot of things for me. My sharingan had activated - one of the earliest activations in history - and also Shimura Danzou managed to get an order in place forcing all of those with Uchiha blood into a section of land on the edge of the village, by our clan shrine. Lord Third tried to frame this as a good thing, for our safety, but… honestly, it really sucked.

The compound was built in a hurry, and it ended up super cramped. Since all with Uchiha blood had to go, men that had married Uchiha women were dragged in. Some of them were resented and held their own resentment, since they'd probably wanted to raise their kids with paternal family like people normally do. The police headquarters was relocated to the compound too, and its powers reduced, with ANBU taking on a lot of what police used to do.

This really didn't help things with popular opinion of the Uchiha, since we were no longer nearby to defend ourselves from gossip. A lot of people blamed the Uchiha for the Fox's attack anyway, since Uchiha Madara was known to have controlled it with his sharingan once. Our relocation added fuel to the fire.

When I would tell my classmates that the Uchiha hadn't had anything to do with it, they would ask why we'd been pushed out of town then. They would also sometimes talk about how the Uchiha hadn't helped fight against the Fox at all, so I'd like to say that the police were very busy getting people into shelters and had been commanded to stay out of the fighting because the clan head thought, "This way, no one can say we were controlling it." We knew how little people trusted us already, from the gossip that still went around about Madara.

So, um, this leads into what has been going on for the last seven, eight years. Itachi and I were both harassed by a lot of people at the Ninja academy in the years immediately after the attack; a lot of kids wanted someone to blame, someone they could actually reach, and there we were.

Itachi was always brilliant, though, and he didn't let anyone push him around. He protected me, too, when they'd gang up on me.

Even though we're about the same age, Itachi had always been miles ahead of me, and I'd pretty much accepted that. Admired him for it, even. It helped that he allowed me to see his pain, once in a while; I'm sure he tried to hide it from you, to keep you from worrying.

Your father, Fugaku, had once been a candidate for Hokage against Lord Fourth; I'm not sure if you know that. Though he wasn't chosen he continued to talk about putting an Uchiha in that position someday soon, and I'm sure he had Itachi in mind for at least a while. He put a lot of pressure on Itachi, though, and as I'm sure you noticed they developed very different political stances.

Even as Itachi was flying through the ranks, Fugaku was being pressured by clan elders to do something about clan relations with the village. They started to demand an immediate solution, one that would force the village to respect our clan and make them regret the harm they had caused us. They began to talk about rebellion.

It was pretty annoying honestly? I'd been so excited to become a ninja and sit in on clan meetings, but this is mostly what I heard there. Everyone would share their stories of disrespect and harassment, with new and scarier tales appearing all the time. Things got worse after Shisui's death, when most of the clan feared Itachi had killed him, thought he might be more loyal to the village than to our clan. I doubt that part could have been kept out of your sight. Maybe you didn't want to see it, though.

Now, how do I say this? So. The massacre.

I lied when I said I couldn't remember anything, though I'm sure you've already figured that out. I remember June eighth pretty clearly, actually.

I had come back to the compound a sweaty gross mess that evening after helping to deliver Uzume. Hisato-sensei had been exhausted, so I'd left him sleeping in the hospital. I noticed how quiet everything was, but I figured it was because the emergency meeting Fugaku had called for that afternoon was still going.

I made it home, called out to my mother - and didn't get a response. That was the first thing I noticed wrong. Mom wasn't considered a real member of the clan anymore, so she never got to go to meetings. 

I found her when I walked in the kitchen, laying lifelessly on the tile with her empty eyes open. Itachi was sitting at the table waiting for me. His sharingan changed as I stared at him, forming a weird shape… kind of like a black shuriken. And then it began spinning.

Suddenly things were fine, my mother was standing, laughing, Itachi nowhere to be found. My life went on totally normally, things with the village improved, I made jounin, got a team of my own, got married -

Looking back I really should've realized this was a false reality. Things went too well. But I spent seventy years in that reality, achieving my dreams and helping people around me achieve theirs as well. Sasuke, I didn't even know what I wanted out of life until that vision. I didn't realize how much time I had been wasting with people and things that didn't matter until I saw that amazing life stretch out before me. It's so frustrating, that in order to heal I had to forget so much of it. it still feels like there's so much more I could have learned from that illusion, even though I know now that it wasn't real. Just something Itachi felt like showing me.

Itachi's illusion finally ended when that elderly me was on her deathbed surrounded by loved ones; their faces faded away until all I could see was Itachi's weird sharingan again.

I still felt eighty, and I was so grateful for that peaceful life I'd seen that I just cried and thanked him as I passed out. A part of me still feels like I'm closer to eighty than thirteen.

What I remember matches the physical evidence - Hisato identified my inability to handle the sheer amount of memories suddenly crammed into my brain as what was killing me - but I don't want you to misunderstand why I'm telling you about this.

I think that some high-ranked person ordered the massacre and is scapegoating Itachi. I know that sounds a little insane, but please, listen.

He may have attacked me and my mother with the intent to kill, but I don't believe that Itachi killed anyone else. His weapons were untouched, and you, my mother, and I were the only people who weren't attacked by blades. Hisato sensed it, when the massacre began, and he said my mother was one of the last to die.

Also, Itachi definitely wouldn't have taken my eyes or anyone else's - what would he do with all of them? - so at the very least there were other people in on the attack. Since the council went out of their way to convict Itachi as the only killer, I can only think that one of them had a hand in it.

I really think it was Danzou, that he's been planning this massacre for a long time. I… don't know if Lord Third was complicit, but this massacre would've been way harder to pull off if we hadn't been shoved into a compound.

I don't know why Itachi would play along with Danzou, but if I've ever known him at all, I know he's suffering.

Sensei thinks Itachi will use this chance to infiltrate a certain missing nin organization, play up his role as a bad guy while passing information to the Leaf. I can't stomach the thought of him having to kill anyone else for the sake of this stupid village, so. I've decided. If I have any dream at this point, it's bringing him home - wherever that home might be.

… I also just can't believe he would have attacked me without a reason, so I want to hear what that reason was. My best guess is a mercy kill - he killed me to make sure I'd die gently, because I was a friend of his once. I hope he at least considered us friends.

Whoever he's involved with, wherever he's gone - there were people who needed the Uchiha dead, or maybe just our sharingan, and I am sure that someday they will turn on Itachi too.

Well. I'm spending all this time theorizing, but I don't even know if he's alive right now. I can hardly sleep for worrying about him.

I want to go looking for him, right this minute. It's killing me that I'm so useless right now, but I was useless already compared to him. I… probably will never be strong enough to save him. 

You're different, Sasuke, you've got so many advantages. You're brilliant, if awkward; you have lots of chakra that you've already got good control with; and you've always been the person Itachi treasures most. Even if I couldn't remember what happened that night, the fact that you were the only one unharmed would have tipped me off that Itachi had something to do with it.

Maybe I shouldn't have told you so much, but I needed to get it out. This silence has been so painful. I've been worried that you would blame him for everyone's deaths if you knew he'd been my attacker, so I lied even to you. I'm going to keep lying to you until I can find real evidence of a conspiracy here, but I needed to leave you my suspicions. You have a right to know about our clan.

I hope you can forgive me, and I hope you will be able to help him. I know he's out there, thinking of you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Good morning. This tape will mostly be about the Uchiha and Senju clans, especially Madara and Hashirama, but I'd like to give some context for what's gone on more recently. I've been off my punishment for two months now; Izumi's tape was made around then. I'd like to talk about that for a moment.

I've sealed her tape so that only Uzume or Sasuke can access it, and only after they've turned thirteen. Thus, I will not spoil the contents; I wish only to say that she finally, finally expressed that there was something she actually still wants to live for, and I've taken that and run with it. If I have time, I will explain the training I'm putting her through after the tale of Konoha's founding.

To bring in context from a previous story, both clans had their roots in the two sons of the Sage of Six Paths. The Uchiha are descendents of Indra, and the Senju the descendents of Ashura. Whatever peace Ashura had hoped to create was quickly forgotten by his children, who instead learned ninjutsu and a life at war with the Uchiha; the Sage of Six Paths was already a myth by Madara and Hashirama's generation, and ninshu forgotten entirely. This was a world in which clans of ninjutsu users fought desperately against one another, for both money and revenge. Children as young as five were on the battlefields dying; Madara and Hashirama had each had four siblings, many of whom were killed by the other's clan. 

This was also a world in which shinobi children knew better than to give out their clan names, and so Hashirama and Madara did not know one another's identity when they first met, when they became friends. They skipped rocks together on the Naka river, raced each other up the cliffs where the Hokage Monument is now; they also sat up there, looking down on the forest, and dreamed of a future in which children wouldn't have to fight and die on battlefields. They hatched the idea for the Hidden Village of the Leaf then, though it would be many, many years until its founding.

There came a day when Hashirama's father realized his son's new friend was an Uchiha, and decided to try and assassinate him; the Uchiha came to the same conclusion at the same time. When Hashirama and Madara next met over the river, they skipped stones toward one another on which they had written warnings - Hashirama's read "There's a trap", while Madara's simply read "Run". The two tried to prevent their fathers and brothers from fighting, and succeeded at preventing any deaths; Madara convinced the Uchiha to retreat by telling them Hashirama was stronger than he, and then his sharingan awakened as he disowned their dream of peace.

As Hashirama and Madara grew into adults, they were often pitted against one another. The day came when each was a leader of his own clan, and each had only one younger brother left - Hashirama had Tobirama, who would someday become the Second Hokage, and Madara had Izuna. Those brothers often fought, but had been evenly matched - until Tobirama managed to land a killing blow.

Madara broke away from his own fight to go to his brother; Hashirama demanded then that their clans reconcile - hopefully so that he could provide aid to Izuna. Though Madara refused, many Uchiha defected over to the Senju in the aftermath of that battle. 

There is a point here where anime and manga differed regarding Uchiha Izuna's fate, and history books have not been able to clarify it for me. I don't know if he died right then or a while later, but I know that Madara was able to activate the mangekyou sharingan and that he was given Izuna's eyes. 

I may have failed to mention that using the mangekyou causes gradual loss of eyesight; for some reason that effect is negated by replacing your eye with that of another Uchiha who had reached mangekyou level. It's tangential, but I've wondered for a long time whether or not two mangekyou users could simply swap eyes. They're already treating eye surgery like it's no big deal, so why not make it a give-and-take? Sharing is caring, and all that.

At any rate, Madara's mangekyou allowed him to fight Hashirama through the power of Susanoo armor; the whole battle was dramatic as hell, with their giant chakra-made monstrosities whaling on each other and fucking up the landscape like mechs. Madara eventually lost, and Hashirama once again plead with him for reconciliation between their clans; Madara pointed out that the Uchiha had already abandoned him and said that he could not forgive the Senju for all the people he had lost.

Hashirama then tried to kill himself in order to give Madara the revenge he needed - but Madara stopped him, agreeing to peace at last.

They signed a treaty, the Uchiha and the Senju, and began to build their village here by the river where they'd played together as children.

Other clans, fearing them and the power of their alliance, hurried to form treaties with them or with one another, creating the earliest hidden villages. 

For a while, these villages were at a tentative peace with one another; Hashirama went out of his way to establish relationships among villages, and he gathered up and distributed several of the great chakra beasts to them as evidence of his peaceful intentions. I can't remember if he had done anything with the Nine-Tailed Fox, Kurama, but I know he would eventually be sealed into Uzumaki Mito, the woman that became Hashirama's wife.

As everyone knows, that peace did not hold. Internal unrest would lead to international disputes.

When the people of the village named Hashirama the first Hokage and leader of the village, Madara felt slighted. Even the Uchiha looked to Hashirama rather than Madara for guidance, and those other clans which had hated the Uchiha now directed their hate at Madara in particular. 

I don't remember the exact events that lead Madara to defect - perhaps a war broke out, perhaps children were sent to fight, or perhaps it was simply the disrespect towards his person - but he came back to attack the Leaf and used the Nine-Tails against Hashirama. Yet again, Hashirama won; he took Madara's seemingly dead body back to the village and had him respectfully buried.

I know for a fact that Madara survived that battle, though I hesitate to elaborate on the details. He hid out for the remainder of his life, living most of it alongside that unsealed fragment of Kaguya, the woman from whom chakra originated; Madara called this fragment "Zetsu", and was convinced by it to place like dominos the series of events which will lead to Kaguya's resurrection - the end of our world as we know it.

Alright… That sentence was too long, but Tenzou's ten minutes out. I don't want him to hear about any of this, not even Izumi's training, as he's a little attached and I've already lied and told him she's doing volunteer work in a temple somewhere. Therefore I will end with this.

I have not hesitated to share these stories with you because they seem like ridiculous tales about historical figures, and I know few who would take such conspiracies seriously. Izumi's previous tape is different, and at some point I too may need to give you stories that are much closer to home. I don't know what you will make of those stories, but I don't want to leave you unprepared. I love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Good afternoon! Izumi's finally back from her training trip, though she certainly isn't done working. Since I have a few minutes, I'm going to tell you about what she's been doing.

I am not sure how much you know about the Legendary Sannin, but Jiraiya the Toad Sage is the only member of that team that still frequents Konoha. He is known as the toad sage because he learned how to take in and use natural energy from his toad summons. Though there are many types of animal summons and all of them use natural energy, the toads have the easiest way to train humans in using it, as they have an oil they make which draws in natural energy.

I do use natural chakra, and did not learn from the toads; I would say that it took me about three years to reach a level at which it became useful, which is far quicker than most who have done this the natural way can say.

There are several reasons that I suspect account for the speed at which I learned to use natural chakra. Firstly, that I am blind, and thus more focused in the senses I have left; and related to that, that I had been using chakra sense to navigate since I was quite young. Also, reincarnation memories. Maybe those helped?

A summoning contract seems to be required for humans to access natural chakra; I made one without even knowing it while I lived at a Buddhist temple in the Land of Hot Water, with the being I call my gohou. 

At any rate, I have been debating for years whether I would encourage any of my students toward natural energy. Keno is ninjutsu oriented, but a total wreck; Mitomu wouldn't be interested; and Izumi… well, to be honest, she's my favorite student but I have known for a long time that she just wasn't committed to life as a ninja.

Izumi wanted to work hard, earn respect, get married, and then become a peaceful housewife. I also was already aware that she would be targeted as an Uchiha, and didn't want to add to her burden.

Two months ago, when I listened to her record, I realized that she had finally found her reason, something to drive her. What she needed now was a road forward.

Having made my decision, I asked the Third Hokage for Jiraiya's location, and when he refused to tell me, sent my gohou to explore the bathhouses throughout the Land of Fire and ask for his return.

Jiraiya came somewhat unwillingly, but didn't mind discussing sage chakra with me. He had learned about my gohou a couple of years ago and forced me to show him what I could do with it; he and I have had many disagreements about other things, but we are at least able to discuss sage chakra quite amicably.

"I've decided to train one of my students in the sage arts," I told him, "and I'd like to use the oil you mentioned before, from Mount Myouboku."

"Hah? Just send 'em off to a temple," Jiraiya replied with a dismissive wave. "Have 'em learn how you did."

"That's not possible, I'm afraid."

"Well, I can't just hand out that oil. You think the toads just give it away? It's dangerous stuff."

"I've got my own way of preventing a person from turning to stone; I'm also more than willing to pay for it in money, or in favors. Whatever is amenable to them."

He made some inappropriate joke at that point which had my eyelid twitching in annoyance, but I bore with it, asked him to call for a toad and see what they would charge.

I don't know how long we waited for their response, but Jiraiya managed to clean six plates and down an impressive amount of alcohol. He tried to order for me, poured me a cup too, but I've been good about my promise to hold off until Uzume is old enough to drink with me. Also - Jiraiya is a glutton, a drunk, a woman-chaser, inconsiderate and a penny-pincher; I was aware that he was going to stick me with the bill. 

"The oil's for summoners only," the messenger croaked as soon as it arrived. "You want someone trained, you get 'em on our contract."

That hadn't quite been what I wanted for Izumi so I wanted to argue, but it left as quickly as it came.

"Guess that's that," Jiraiya said, and made to leave. I moved into his way, though, not at all satisfied.

I don't remember exactly what I said then - I was trying to make him understand why it was important that Izumi learn this, and more quickly than I had learned it, but he cut me off.

"Uchiha Izumi? That's the student you meant? You shoulda said so!" His tone was far more congenial than before, and I was left a little bewildered.

At first I didn't understand why that changed anything, and I worried that he was being inappropriate over my thirteen year-old student. It turns out that for the last several months, Izumi has been going out and visiting Uzumaki Naruto, the boy in whom the Kyuubi is currently sealed; he is one of Sasuke's classmates, also, and I imagine she met him while walking Sasuke to or from the Academy.

I'd really have rathered Izumi stay away from Naruto, as he will be a target to all who want Kaguya unsealed; but I shouldn't have expected her to listen to me. She's not the type of person who can sit quietly while someone is suffering, and in any case her disobedience proved useful this time.

Jiraiya grudgingly admitted to me that he feels personally responsible for Naruto's poor quality of life, though that has never motivated him to take action. Since Izumi has been making an effort, bringing Naruto food and tutoring him as best as she can while blind, Jiraiya seems to feel he owes Izumi something.

We'd previously theorized that a contract with a being inherently capable of using natural chakra was necessary; Jiraiya had taken the toad's words as confirmation of this. I hadn't expected him to offer to sign Izumi onto his toad contract, but he did so easily.

"I'll have to bring her to meet 'em first, of course!" He laughed, and then reverse summoned himself out of the restaurant.

The total came to 1,029 ryou, if you were wondering; the bastard snuck some expensive foreign wine onto the tab. 

I didn't bother to warn Izumi when I went home, figuring that if Jiraiya was that enthusiastic I could leave it to him. Indeed, he popped up in the yard late in the next evening, while Izumi was half-asleep, and spirited her away.

I wasn't quite expecting him to check in the next day, but he was conscientious enough to inform me that the toads had accepted her. I never doubted that they would.

The danger that I mentioned earlier is possible with any use of natural chakra, but is far more likely for one that uses the toad's oil. If one takes in too much natural chakra, so much that it overwhelms one's own chakra, one will be turned to stone. The toads get around this by whacking the person whenever the natural chakra begins to overwhelm them so that their concentration breaks, and Izumi is still looking a bit bruised up. 

"They say I have to have someone around to hit me when I practice here, too," she whined yesterday, and Sasuke mumbled something about volunteering.

The toads allowed her to leave Mount Myouboku when she was able to sense natural chakra well enough to notice it without the oil, but she has not actually been able to use that energy quite yet. For now, this will just give her another way to get around.

If she can develop this sense until it comes easily, she will be aware enough of the landscape to fight the way she was accustomed to; eventually, she should be able to use it to perform senjutsu techniques.

Though Izumi scolded me as soon as she returned, saying, "You should've asked me what I wanted before you went and got Lord Jiraiya involved!" Her back is straighter now. I like to hope that she feels heartened by the support I'm giving her, though I know she will be less than heartened when she learns that I also enlisted Maito Gai while she was gone. Izumi has been slacking on her taijutsu studies also, in my defense.

I'm thinking I want her to be special jounin rank before Sasuke graduates so that she'll have a chance at being his teacher; there's no better way to put her in Itachi's path than that, especially if Naruto is with them. As long as she's at that level by then, I think I can talk the Third around. The biggest issue is her blood type.

I almost forgot to mention that there's one other area in which I am trying to help her; I talked to you once about a story of a man whose eyes were restored after 40 years but whose brain was unable to make use of that visual information. I brought that up because I was worrying for Izumi. 

With my foreknowledge I know where her eyes are, and I know that they can be retrieved. Thus I have begun a treatment regimen of chakra brain stimulation which I will perform every few months to maintain minimal functioning in her occipital lobe. There hasn't been much change in her mind yet, but I don't want her burgeoning chakra sense to crowd out her visual processing.

Returning to the earlier topic, I wanted to say that if you are ever interested in natural energy, I'd recommend you start by learning to meditate. You can track down a toad summoner for that contract if it takes too long to sense it, but I hope that you will try the safer path first. My method may be slower, but it doesn't necessitate having someone smack you around to keep you alive. If you choose to serve a religious institution as I did, you might perhaps swear to less stringent vows. Maybe hit up some warrior monks; I know that they're around here somewhere, and are obviously permitted to hit people.

I overshared here, but again I know that I would be treated as a madman. Still, be careful what you share. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Hello, this is Izumi once again. I'm not staying for long, I just wanted to make an introduction; Hisato-sensei has accepted that we're going to keep trying to steal his tape recorder to add to it, so he added some protections to prevent anyone from listening to or altering the other tapes and then left it out on his desk. That's about as close to permission as we're getting, so I told Tenzou-san and Koori-san about this record also. I'm going to take my leave here, and leave the rest to Tenzou.

[Transcriber's note: Iburi Tenzou spoke from this point onward.]

Thank you, Izumi. I'm not sure what has been said about me in earlier tapes, but you could say that I am a childhood friend of Shimura Hisato's, and I have been living with him and his daughter Uzume for most of the last year. My home is technically a separate building, but the two are side-by-side. Today, I want to speak to you about myself, and about your father. Perhaps some other time I might record a ghost story; I’ve been told that I am excellent at telling those.

I spent the first few years of my life in a horrible place, alone and afraid. I was only able to become the person I am today because I was rescued from that place by your father’s uncle, Shimura Danzou. Danzou was my savior, and the person I believed in more than anyone throughout my childhood. I still feel indebted to him, but I am aware now that he is not a good person. I would advise Uzume to avoid him as much as possible.

On Danzou’s orders, Hisato and I lived together for two years as children. We shared a small apartment and trained daily together; we were also teammates who went on our first missions together. However, Hisato was sent on a long-term mission when we turned nine, and was gone for almost four years. In that time, I realized Danzou’s true nature and broke away from him. The Third then assigned me to work with Hatake Kakashi; Hisato joined us upon his return to the village, and I felt that the three of us got along very well. Things for Hisato slowly changed in that time, and before I'd even noticed, we had fallen out of touch.

Uzume, it's likely that you will hear the rumors that your father betrayed his team; the official story is that he was tricked into doing so, but that was not the case. Kakashi and I were both there, and in hindsight it should have been obvious to us that Hisato stood alone at a crossroad. 

He had been pulling away from everyone for a long time. It's sheer luck that he returned to the village that day and those of us who cared about him scrambled for solutions in the aftermath. We wanted to give him bonds again, make this village his home once more; our most successful plot was giving him a genin team, as you can likely tell. Izumi has had an enormous impact on him in the years since.

Hisato treated his three students like they were weights chained to his ankles at first, something he simply had to bear with until he could be rid of them. Within a year it was evident that Izumi at least had worked her way into his heart; Uchiha Izumi was at Hisato's side all the while that he was - that you were developing in the womb.

Please forgive the secrecy. I am not sure how much detail I can give you regarding your birth.

I do want to say that your existence has changed Hisato for the better; he had always been closed off and secretive, and our friendship had been built on a foundation of silence. After learning that he would soon have a child of his own, he was initially quite upset, unsure that he wanted to put you through the suffering of life in a shinobi village - but he shared that fear with me. We were not in the habit of talking directly about our problems, but that discussion restored our friendship. It is still a struggle for me, but Hisato now opens up to me often. Or, at least he seems to do so. 

When I heard that he had been making audiotapes in preparation for the day that you might be orphaned, that he had been working on this project all year without telling me, I felt hurt, and concerned for him. 

It doesn't make sense that he could keep this from me for so long. For a couple of months, sure. So much happened right around your birth, and he and I were both under a great deal of stress. Since then we have both spent most of our time in the village, preparing and eating our meals together, raising Uzume together. I don't understand why he consulted his Aburame friend first when I also have plenty of stories I would like to share with you. For example, I have also come up with other variations Jugemu.

I shouldn't whine. Perhaps Hisato feared I would overreact or conclude that this was some kind of suicide n- that these tapes hid an ulterior motive. I might have thought that, had I heard about this during one of his low points. 

Forgive me, this has been unnecessarily morbid. I should have told you a story, rather than get into all of this. If I could delete this tape and retape it, I would. Instead, I will try to wrap up the other things that I consider important enough to tell you.

Uzume, there are secrets surrounding your birth that I don't have the right to disclose, but because of them Hisato spent much of the year of your conception in isolation. The cover story is that he was on a long mission, and his return was not formally acknowledged until June fifteenth. Kakashi-senpai, Izumi, your aunt Koori, and I were among the few that knew where Hisato was and could contact him in the meantime. I think that the three of us are the closest to Hisato, but I still worried a lot for his mental health during that time.

Perhaps something happened between Hisato and Senpai then, as they do not get along well these days. Kakashi-senpai and I were still teammates until very recently, although I admit our team changed drastically without Hisato. We received a much younger ninja as a replacement, one with enormous talent but who was just as likely to hide away the difficulties of his personal life. Taking into consideration what I have learned recently, I hope that you will never meet him.

Senpai, on the other hand: I hope that you will give him a chance. He was never given the chance to be a child, and he doesn’t know how to relate to one. He has survived one loss after another to reach this point, and yet his mental strength is admirable. Kakashi-senpai doesn't have any experience with children and he hasn't known how to interact with Uzume, but I'm sure he can learn. Hatake Kakashi is a genius, after all. 

Your father has stated repeatedly that it takes a village to raise a child. I like to hope that this will come to include even the people that Hisato dislikes; few things can change a person as deeply as being responsible for a child. Uzume has already made us into better people than we were last year, and I am sure you will continue to change people's hearts.

Ultimately a lot of what I've said has been aimed at Hisato rather than Uzume. Between the two of us, I'm the one who is likely to die young, and after I pass I would like Hisato to take at least some of my words into consideration. I know that you will be more capable than anyone when it comes to persuading him. 

Goodbye for now.

Chapter Text

 [The tape begins with Shimura Hisato's voice.]

Today, I am joined by Iburi Tenzou.

[A murmured greeting could be heard in the background.]

We are going to tell you a couple of stories in this recording. As was pointed out in his last tape, this is long overdue; Tenzou will be telling you about the Moon Rabbit, after which I will tell you the tale of Crackling Mountain. The overall theme is helpful rabbits, as they are currently your favorite animal.

[Iburi Tenzou began to speak.]

Then, I'll start with the Moon Rabbit.

A long, long time ago, there lived a monkey, a fox, and a rabbit who lived together as siblings. The three believed in selfless kindness, and worked together to help any other creature they found struggling on the mountain they called home. One autumn day, the three happened upon a trembling old man dressed in rags. 

"Are you alright?” The fox asked as they approached him. 

"I fear I am not," the old man replied. "It has been many days since I have eaten, and I feel weak enough to fall over."

The rabbit cleared a log for the old man to sit. "Don't worry! We will bring you food," the monkey promised.

"And you can stay with us while you recover!" The fox added.

"Our home is yours for as long as you want," the rabbit said, patting the man's leg comfortingly.

They took the old man home with them, gave him water, and helped him to lie down. Then the three split up to find food for him.

The monkey, who was a skilled climber, was able to gather heaps of pears, five-leaf fruits, and chestnuts. “Surely these will fill his stomach!” the monkey said, clutching the fruit in its arms.

The fox, talented at fishing, brought in a variety of carp. “Plenty of meat to strengthen his body!” The fox cheered as well.

But the rabbit, who had no particular skill, was not able to find anything and came home empty-handed. Weeks passed this way, and the old man’s health gradually improved under their care. However, when winter came, fruit stopped growing and the river iced over and became impossible to fish in, and soon came the day that all three went home empty-handed, and the old man suffered for it.

The rabbit’s heart ached for the old man and his failing health. In this hopeless situation, there was only one thing the rabbit could think to do. “I have an idea,” the rabbit said to its friends. “First, we’ll need a big fire. Monkey, please gather many dry branches that can burn well.”

“I will!” the monkey promised.

“And Fox, please bring some dry grasses for kindling.”

“Right away!” The fox said, glad for something to do.

“And I’ll be back soon with something to eat,” the rabbit said, and the three parted.

Fox came back first, and along with the man got a fire started. Monkey brought branches, and with them the fire burned steadily. 

Rabbit came back soon after, its eyes red and hands empty. “I haven’t been able to help you until now, but today I will give you the best meal I can,” Rabbit told the man, before turning toward the fox and the monkey. “I’ve really loved living with you all until now. Please take care.”

“What do you mean?” the monkey asked, but the rabbit did not answer.

Instead, the rabbit flung itself into the fire. The fox and the monkey cried out, but it was too late to save the rabbit’s life. 

The old man moved to the fire, reaching in fearlessly and lifting the rabbit’s body with care. His rags transformed into a fine robe, and the monkey and fox realized that the old man was actually a god.

“Nowhere are there creatures more helpful than you three; truly, you have saved me,” the god said, cradling the rabbit in his arms. “Nowhere is there a rabbit more selfless or kind than this one.”

The fox and monkey cried, and the god lifted the rabbit to the heavens. “All will know of your sacrifice,” he said, and put the rabbit’s likeness onto the face of the moon. 

On full moon nights, you can still see the rabbit up there, smiling down on the world.

[Shimura Hisato.]

Thank you, Tenzou. I love the voice you gave to the fox. Now, then...

Once upon a time, there lived an elderly couple. The two lived quietly on a farm in the mountains, but in recent years, a tanuki had been destroying their crops and making life difficult for them. 

One day, the farmer managed to catch the troublemaking tanuki, tying him up and taking him home. “Let’s have tanuki soup for dinner,” he told his wife as he strung the raccoon dog up in their home before going out again to care for the fields. He was happier now, knowing that his work would not go to waste.

The old woman was kindhearted,  and the tanuki knew that well. “Please, ma’am, don’t eat me! I’ll never harm your fields again. Please, let me down! I will even help you to make dinner, so please, please, don’t kill me!”

With a little pleading, the tanuki was soon free once more; and the story could have ended here, if only the tanuki had done what it promised. But instead it pretended to be grateful and helpful until the old lady turned her back, at which point the tanuki struck. 

When the farmer came home that evening, his wife had dinner laid out and ready for him. The soup was full of meat, and he was doubly pleased to enjoy a good meal now that his crops were safe. But throughout the meal his wife said nothing, and ate little, leaving the meat for him. When he was good and full, the farmer leaned back and said, “Wife, that was delicious. The best meal I’ve had in years. But why aren’t you eating well? Are you alright?”

The old woman’s shoulders shook, and the old man started, thinking that she was crying. But she began to laugh in a strange, hoarse voice. “Am I alright,” she said, and the blood drained from the old man’s face as he recognized the tanuki’s voice. “I am doing better than I’ve ever been, but you - wife-eater, you didn’t even realize what was in the soup! Ahaha!”

The tanuki’s transformation technique ended, revealing its true body in the wife’s clothes. “Her bones are in the other room!” It said gleefully, and darted out the window. The old man, heartbroken and shocked, could not give chase.

That night, a rabbit came by the old man’s house and found him outside, staring into the forest with empty eyes.

“What’s happened?” The rabbit asked, concerned. “Where is granny?” The rabbit had long been a friend to the old woman, and had been coming to visit with her. 

The old man shook his head slowly, and began to cry. He told the rabbit everything that had happened. 

“I can’t believe it,” the rabbit said at first, but she went inside, and she saw the bones. They buried the farmer’s wife together. 

"I'll avenge you," the rabbit swore, standing over the little grave.

Now, the rabbit had never had any quarrel with the tanuki before, but the rabbit knew from the few times they'd met that the tanuki was weak to praise. In the morning the rabbit set out to a field near the tanuki's home and began to bundle up grass stalks. 

Soon enough, the tanuki passed by. "Good morning, Mr. Tanuki!" The rabbit called out.

"Good morning. What're you doing, Rabbit?"

"I'm gathering straw to fix my roof," the rabbit said. 

"This early?"

"It'll take me many trips, since I am so small and weak, so I have to start early. Ah, if only I were as strong as you, I could carry all of the straw in one trip." The rabbit lamented, and the tanuki's nose grew taller.

"You're right," the tanuki said, coming to look at the straw bundles the rabbit had made. They were quite large, but the tanuki was sure it could handle it. "Hey, how about I carry them all for you?"

"Oh, would you?" The rabbit said, and continued to praise the tanuki for its strength and helpfulness as it tied the straw bundles to the tanuki's back. 

They began walking together over the mountains, talking all the while. The path became narrow, and the tanuki took the lead; it was the moment the rabbit had been waiting for. The rabbit began to strike rocks against one another, showering sparks onto the straw. 

"Rabbit, what's that sound?"

"Ah, Mr. Tanuki, I had forgotten that you have never been to this mountain before! We are on Crackling Mountain, and that's the cry of the crackling bird."

"What a strange bird!" The tanuki said, thinking nothing of it.

Finally, the straw caught fire, and the rabbit eased back a little. "That peak over there is Fire Mountain," it said, "so named because you can always hear the sound of burning coming from it."

"Oh, I can hear it from here. What a strange mountain!"

"Your ears are amazing," the rabbit said, and the tanuki stuck its nose up again. 

As the fire began to spread, the rabbit kept up the conversation to distract the tanuki. "How has your week been? Has the weather been treating you well?"

"Oh, very well!" The tanuki said, and began to brag about what it'd done to the farm and the farmer's wife. 

Whenever the tanuki took a breath, the rabbit filled in with, "Amazing!" Or, "Oh no! Really?" So that the tanuki wouldn't notice the fire as it grew louder and louder.

Eventually, though, the story came to an end, and the tanuki said, "As for the weather, though, isn't it unseasonably hot today?"

"Oh yes," the rabbit said, "and it's always hotter near Fire Mountain, too -" 

The tanuki's scream interrupted the rabbit as the fire reached skin at last. The tanuki flailed around, unable to free itself from the burning straw tied to its back. The rabbit stood back a little, until it realized that the tanuki was sure to survive this. Though this plan had failed, the rabbit had backup plans.

"Oh, Mr. Tanuki! Oh, hold still, I'll untie you!" The rabbit cried out, and in a few minutes the tanuki was free, panting and laying on its belly. The fur of its back had been burnt off, and the skin was swelling. 

"How -" the tanuki began to ask, but the rabbit interrupted.

"Mr. Tanuki, I'm so sorry! But, you're so amazing! You saved my life today!" 

"I - I did?"

"Just think what would have happened if I had been carrying that straw alone and it had caught fire! My body is much weaker than yours - I would have burned to death!" 

"Oh, definitely," the tanuki agreed. Though it was in a great deal of pain, it still couldn't help but be proud of its own heroism.

"I'll help you home, and I'll make you a medicine for burns. I know of a very strong medicine that works well - your beautiful fur will grow back in no time!"

"Oh, I'm not in that much pain," the tanuki said, trying to sound modest. 

"I insist! It's the least I can do for my savior!"

The next morning the rabbit came to the tanuki's house bright and early with a reddish paste. "How are you today, Mr. Tanuki? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"It's not too bad," the tanuki lied; it hadn't been able to sleep at all because of the throbbing pain across its back. "Is that the medicine?"

"Yes, this is the burn cream my grandmother taught me to make. I must warn you that it hurts a little; I cried the first time my grandmother put this on me."

"All of the best medicines taste bitter," the tanuki said, waving that warning away. It laid itself out on the floor, and the rabbit began to massage the cream into the burn. 

"Can you feel it working?" The rabbit asked, hiding a smile. What it had brought was a paste made of chili peppers, the spiciest ones it could find.

"Y-yes," the tanuki said, gasping. "W-what a strong, medicine!"

"You are so brave, Mr. Tanuki," the rabbit praised. "Then, I'll bring you more medicine tomorrow!"

"N-no - once is, plenty! I'm, sure I'll be, completely cured by tomorrow!" The tanuki could barely even breathe through the agony of the chili paste on its burnt back. As soon as the rabbit had left, the tanuki began to sob.

Standing just outside, the rabbit listened with a smile.

For three days, the tanuki stayed home to hide its suffering, and the rabbit came by to check each morning. On that third morning, the rabbit happened to mention that it had made some fishing rods and planned to fish in the lake the next day, and the tanuki took the bait. 

"I'm sure fishing is hard for you, Rabbit; I'm an amazing fisherman myself," the tanuki boasted.

"Oh, I wish you could come with me tomorrow, then! You could teach me how to catch fish better, and it would be nice to spend a day on the lake together." The rabbit said, as though eager to befriend the tanuki.

"Well, why not? I'm fully recovered," the tanuki bluffed, and so the trap was set. They agreed to meet at the lake in the morning. 

The rabbit was already at the shore when the tanuki made it there, an hour after sunrise. It had been incredibly difficult for him to maneuver the mountain paths with his back as it was, but the tanuki was quite taken with the idea of looking strong.

The rabbit's wooden boat was quite tiny, and seeing it, the tanuki said, "I think that boat would sink if I climbed on."

"I think you're right," the rabbit said. "That boat is perfect for someone as small and weak as I am, but it's not good enough for Mr. Tanuki. That's why I made a sturdier boat just for you." 

There was a larger boat made of earth waiting farther on the shore, and the tanuki was struck by the rabbit's thoughtfulness. Together they pushed the boat out, and the tanuki climbed in awkwardly, trying not to favor his back too much. The rabbit jumped into the wooden boat, and together they rowed towards the middle of the lake.

"I saw the farmer you mentioned," the rabbit said, to strike up a conversation.

"Oh, did he try and make you into a soup as well?"

"There is not enough meat on me to be worth eating," the rabbit lamented. "He did not even see me. I hid at a distance, and just watched him for a few hours."

"Oh?" The tanuki said. "And what did the farmer do?" 

"He spent the whole day crying," the rabbit replied. "His fields are overgrown with weeds."

"Ha! Serves him right," the tanuki said, and the rabbit nodded.

The tanuki took that nod as agreement; it didn't know that the rabbit had been giving the tanuki one last chance to show remorse.

They brought their boats to a stop at a particularly deep part of the lake. The rabbit could already see how the earthen boat was beginning to crumble from the outside inward as it turned to mud.

"What's the largest fish you've ever caught?" The rabbit asked, to keep the tanuki distracted.

And it worked wonders; the tanuki was so caught up in its own storytelling about the time it fished up a kappa and fried it, that the water was up to its knees before the tanuki even noticed.

"Uh, rabbit? I think my boat has a leak," the tanuki said, not wanting to sound panicked.

"What? Oh, dear, do you think you can make it back to land?"

The tanuki looked nervously toward the shore behind them, and in that moment the rabbit struck its oar into the side of the earthen boat, creating a big crack. Then the rabbit began to quickly row away. 

The crack had been great enough to split the boat in two, sending the tanuki into the water within seconds. "Rabbit!" The tanuki cried out.

"This is revenge for the farmer's wife!" The rabbit called back, and when it heard the tanuki sputter, the rabbit turned and laughed.

"You tricked me!"

"Serves you right!” the rabbit said mockingly, and waited a few meters away as the tanuki fought to stay afloat and eventually drowned.

The rabbit returned to the farmer that night, and found him still sitting in front of the old woman's grave. "The tanuki is dead now," the rabbit said, placing a red flower over the grave; and the old man nodded.

[Several seconds go by before Iburi Tenzou speaks.]

And then they lived together, right?

[Shimura Hisato.]

Ah, yes. As happily as they could, considering the circumstances.

[Iburi Tenzou.]

I'll admit, I'm a little surprised that you chose to tell that version. Many people these days change the story so that the old woman survives. 

[Shimura Hisato.]

Crackling Mountain is a common children's story with many versions and different morals. However, I fear that the tanuki might seem sympathetic if the farmer's wife survived the attack, and the tanuki still had to die in turn.

[Iburi Tenzou.]

Hmm. Well, the human soup was a nice touch. Is that how you're encouraging vegetarianism now?

[Shimura Hisato.] 

That's a part of the original story, you know. And it's hardly an original plot; The Tale of the Juniper Tree also features a similar scene, where a father is made to eat his son. Perhaps that story would have been more your taste, as the son comes back to life as a mockingbird and avenges himself. 

[Iburi Tenzou.]

Crackling Mountain, but the rabbit is secretly the old woman.

[Shimura Hisato.]

I'll have to try and tell it that way sometime, I might enjoy it more. For now, though… Listeners, I hope you have enjoyed these stories and can appreciate their morals, including the morals we have added to them. Farewell.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcript.]

Today is the eighth of June, although it won't be for much longer. It has been an incredibly busy day, but I'll start off with the more recent part of it. 

Izumi, Koori and I made a point of making it public that the Uchiha compound would be open to mourners from sunset to ten today, and received more than a hundred visitors in that timeframe. It took us about an hour to clean up, reinforce the walls, and then most everyone passed out in their rooms. Uzume passed out on Sasuke a couple hours ago, and they’re both asleep on the couch; I’m out on the roof. Tenzou’s awake, still trying to comb out his hair - I barely managed to talk him out of cutting it short this time.

Opening the Uchiha compound to mourners was Izumi’s idea, one that surprised me. Rather than grieving, many seemed to have come to assuage their curiosity instead. I overheard many whispered ghost stories, saw children looking for bloodstains outside empty houses. I'm thankful I only had to throw one person out for trespassing, though I tossed out a few more for seeming too much like my uncle’s type. 

Sasuke was not comfortable with this event, but he tolerated it well. He was front and center when the gates were first opened, but was chased back into the house - somewhat literally - when classmates of his arrived and tried to ply him with flowers. I was grateful for this, a little, because his stiff posture was annoying me; he kept himself busy through the rest of it by playing hide-and-seek with Uzume.

Izumi had created a path of sorts to the massacre's memorial, a path that wound past several of the oldest Uchiha buildings, the ones that were here long before the compound. We'd subtly blockaded the alleyways, lined the correct path with paper lanterns; but a few people still wandered off the path, and I allowed them to go about ten paces before sending a clone to shepherd them back. 

The villagers, mostly civilians, played at being somber when they knew we were in earshot. I suppose that's all anyone could ask for. We did not set this memorial up because we expected the village to grieve; though a few were genuine mourners. No, the event was more political in nature.

The Uchiha had been corralled away, slaughtered, but even now they were a proud clan with a long history that could not be easily overlooked. Izumi was using this as a debut of sorts, to show that she would be involved in village events as a representative of her mother's clan. She did this to show that what they had suffered would not end them, had not driven her or Sasuke to madness as Madara and many other Uchiha were "driven to madness". The Uchiha are still a part of Konoha.

I'm sure my uncle, gossip that he is, will find a new angle from which to worsen our standing. But he would do that anyway, sooner or later, so it's better to shore up our defenses gradually.

Now, as for why this event began at sundown - we told mourners that was because the massacre itself occurred at night, but in truth, it's because we had decided to dedicate the first part of the day to honoring you, Uzume. 

It’s been one year since you were born. One year and four hours or so, I mean. 

You woke up before the birds could, today, and we sat outside during sunrise. I think it was probably boring for you, because you kept hissing, “Sasu! Saaaaasu!” and trying to pull me inside. I’m pretty sure you wanted me to wake Sasuke up so you could play with him instead, because you like him way more than me. Sometimes you call Izumi, Tenzou, and I  “Sasu”, since you only know like, three word total. I pretended not to know what you wanted, bouncing you on my leg and singing instead until you settled down. For so much of this year I have been unable to spend time alone with you, and so I wanted to savor that time together.

Sasuke came and joined us just as the sun was approaching the horizon - or so he said. I can’t really feel the weak sunlight of the morning the way I can feel the midday sun. You nearly threw yourself off the porch in excitement when he came into view, because you had been asking for him. 

You walk pretty well, but trip when you try to do anything with your hands at the same time. Sasuke has been especially concerned about this, tries to prevent you from getting up when you're holding anything, and he won’t listen when I tell him that you just need practice. I didn’t expect him to be like this at all, but he’s always coddling you. 

As the sun came up, he told you the names of the colors of the sky, the clouds, and described their shapes. He moved your arms to point at what he was describing, trying to teach you all sorts of words. It’s too early for you to know what he’s on about, but you seemed to like the learning game, as you kept kicking your feet and giggling. 

Tenzou had breakfast ready for us when we came in, and your scream of glee was earsplitting when he fed you applesauce and bacon. Izumi needed coffee; she only had a couple hours’ sleep because she spent most of last night trying to set up for tonight’s event. 

You really don’t like strangers, lately. It’s an important phase to go through, though we will have to socialize you a bit more to reduce that wariness. I will confess that it gives me great vindictive joy when you scream at even photographs of the Third Hokage. He tried to stop by after breakfast, as he had some personal request for Tenzou; we sent him packing though, because there’s very few emergencies that could merit missing your birthday party. 

The Hokage actually tried to argue that you were too young to care if Tenzou was there or not, if you can believe it! But you would definitely have cried for him. 

Since it was your birthday, the five of us went shopping and bought you just about everything you showed interest in. Toys, clothes, random trinkets, a cute rabbit mask. You tried to beg for some weapons we saw on display in the road, but that was the only thing we agreed you shouldn’t have yet. Tenzou made you a dozen paper shuriken and I placed a seal on them so that they would feel metallic; you’ve been poking people with them all day.

We had lunch at a barbeque restaurant, since you seemed to like the smell. You made such a mess that I changed you into one of your new outfits right after. Ah, you probably won’t want to hear about that - but in general I think you’re a very clean baby, very good at eating. You were just excited today. Understandably.

We had cake together at home in the afternoon - Izumi and I baked it, and Tenzou and Sasuke decorated. I’d thought about inviting a few people, but you’ve come to fear Muta and Iwate lately, so it seemed best to stick to the usual household. My other students, Keno and Mitomu, had sent gifts for you; Mitomu sent a bell-tree with a tiny handle, knowing that you would shake it hard enough to chase any ghost away. Keno crocheted a stuffed rabbit for you, and Tenzou reported that it has an absolutely frightful appearance. You dragged it everywhere with you today, even fell asleep with it, so I suppose you don't agree. 

We all played games together, with you, until you got tired and everyone but Izumi could slip out to finish preparations for the Uchiha memorial service. She put you down to a nap, although you woke up again shortly after sunset.

All in all, today was a really good day for you, I think. You’re never too fussy, so it’s nice to see you excited. Uzume, I hope that all of your birthdays will be good days, and all the days in between. Love you.

Chapter Text

[Begin transcription.]

I realized today that there’s a very important story I haven’t told you about yet; the story of how a goddess named Uzume saved the day. This story is generally referred to as The Heavenly Cave.

For the sake of brevity, I will assume that you are somewhat familar with Shinto deities. You should at least know of Izanami and Izanagi, who birthed all the gods, and their three greatest children - Tsukuyomi, lord of the moon, born of his father's right eye; Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, born from his left eye; and Susanoo, the storm god, born from his nose. At a guess, I'd say he was the least favorite from birth. 

Susanoo had a habit of offending other deities and being sent on heroic adventures as a result; however, in the story of The Heavenly Cave, Susanoo appears only at the beginning. He came to see his sister Amaterasu, had a contest with her, and lost. In anger he threw the dead body of a horse before her attendants in the sun goddess's weaving hall, scaring at least one of them to death.

Amaterasu was furious with her brother, but did not take revenge against him. Instead she hid herself away in a cave, sealing the door shut with a stone and denying the world of the sun.

The world fell into darkness, the gods panicked. Many came to tell the goddess what was becoming of the world - the frozen seas, the dead crops - but the goddess was unmoved. The gods made many plans to draw Amaterasu from the cave, including bring roosters before her cave and forcing them to crow in order to signal that the sun should soon rise. A great mirror was set outside the cave, so that if Amaterasu peeked out she might be enraptured by her own beauty; and in some versions of the story that came to pass.

In this version, the gods continued on to the next plan, and began to party just outside her cave. They did this to make Amaterasu envious enough to come and join them, but initially could not muster up enough genuine joy. And then the goddess Uzume of the Heavens flipped a barrel, climbed atop it, and began to dance merrily while stripping off the colorful layers of her outfit. Her show was enough to draw genuine cheers, which piqued Amaterasu's curiosity. 

Amaterasu was well aware of the state of the world, and perhaps even pleased with it; perhaps she thought that if she was miserable, so then should everyone else be miserable with her. At any rate, she was not pleased to hear that the gods were enjoying themselves without her.

Amaterasu moved the rock slightly, so that she could see what the fuss was about; and when she caught sight of Uzume dancing, the colorful fabric falling from her body as she moved, Amaterasu's mind went blank. She moved the rock further, so that she could better witness the spectacle - and in that moment two gods grabbed her, pulling her out while another sealed the rock behind her. 

For her part in coercing the sun goddess back to the world, Uzume became known as the goddess of the dawn and its many colors. I believe she later had a husband and human descendants, as well.

I was in a poetic mood when I named you after this story, thinking to myself that you were the dawn that signaled the end of a very, very long night for me. Your warmth in my arms felt like a promise of many brighter days to come. It did not occur to me until just now that you might someday hear the story behind your name and think, "He named me after a lesbian striptease? Seriously?" 

Sorry. There are neither perfect names, nor perfect parents. Unfortunately. 

As I have decided that this should be the final tape of the collection, there’s something else I should confess. Even though I thought of an orphaned you as I shared all of these stories, and knew very well that you would be listening in the hope of learning more about both of your parents, I have only given you information about myself. I have been careful to reveal nothing about the other side of your heritage, despite the ease with which I have confessed to crimes against Konoha. Honestly, I don’t care that much about sacrilege against this village. There are very few things I care about, and feeling deeply for anything at all inspires so much fear in me.

I am afraid to tell you about that person. I am so afraid, for your sake and mine, that the other parent will reject us. That person is alive, but has not been told of your existence.  Most everyone around me knows who your other parent is, as my efforts to hide the truth have been pathetic; I have no experience at hiding love or heartbreak, and I am certainly not a genius when it comes to emotions. I should just tell you now. I don’t have the strength. Someday, I will.

I've decided to live. It feels a little stupid to say so, but something to it seems revolutionary nonetheless. I've gone through life up until now feeling some resentment for having been forced into this life; when I've made mistakes, I've blamed every force that created me and every force that could have brought me here. I'm finally ready to take responsibility for the life I've led without pinning it on someone else.

I'll be telling you about this world, Kaguya, Konoha, and the Uchiha in person. I'll take responsibility for the lives that I have taken, and that have been lost because of me. Yakushi Fumiko, Uzumaki Hiromi, and finally, Hyuuga Hinata; she was not just named in that world, but one of its main characters, and yet I have been trying to pretend that her death will mean nothing for the future of this world. I owe it to them, and to you, to face these things without praying death will take me instead.

I'm not going to delete these tapes; whoever wants to peruse them in five or so years will just have to suffer through to reach the information they seek. Besides, this has become an important - bonding? - sort of thing. The people I care about most have come together to participate in this, and I consider it a work of love. Perhaps I will think differently when I listen again, somewhere down the line, but right now I'm filled with gratitude.