Chapter Text
In hindsight, Danny doesn't know how he has even gotten through this day. After it had become clear that Steve had been taken and that all signs pointed to Wo Fat, it had been very difficult not to panic. For Steve's sake however, he had ignored the cold sweat on his neck and the terror which made his hair stand on end, and had forced himself into functioning on auto pilot. Which had worked somehow, but the whole time he had been quivering from dread all the same. The team had taken turns in putting a comforting hand on his shoulder or his arm from time to time, and while he had been grateful for their sympathy, it hadn't helped at all; too horrible were the pictures his mind was immediately threatening to conjure up if he wasn't careful. The seconds before they actually found Steve had been the worst, had stretched into an eternity which had made him nauseous. He remembers how he had thought of Matty: not him as well. Please.
And now that the adrenaline's worn off and Steve's safe if far from sound, he can feel himself trembling with a mixture of relief and gratitude. It was such a close shave. When they entered that room and he saw Steve lying there, his stomach had dropped unpleasantly and he had feared the worst; he can still feel his elation when Steve suddenly moved.
A shiver runs down his spine and he reinforces his grip around Steve's hand, wishing his partner was awake; but Steve sleeps, worn out by the ordeal Wo Fat put him through and the drugs which are still in his system. Danny had been positively shaking with anger when the doctor had told him about the extent of Steve's injuries and the chemical substances they had found in his blood.
“At least it explains why he asked for his dad,” Chin said in an attempt to calm Danny down, but the latter nevertheless wanted to punch someone, momentarily furious that Wo Fat wasn't available any longer.
The whole team had waited with Danny and had only left once it was clear that Steve was stable and probably going to sleep through the night.
Danny however needs to be here, to keep watch- he has often seen Steve battered and bloody, has more than once feared for his partner's life. Yet seeing him so confused and broken has been a whole new kind of shock. He is familiar with Steve's vulnerable side, something which is inevitable if you're in a serious relationship with someone, but nothing could have prepared him for how lost and desolate Steve sounded when he asked for his father. Therefore Danny has decided to stay and make sure Steve doesn't wake up alone. He's emotionally bruised enough as it is.
When Steve wakes up some time in the early morning, he takes a moment to realize where he is and why. He blinks, hoping that he really shot Wo Fat and didn't only dream seeing the bastard lying there dead. Shit, even blinking hurts. His whole body feels like he's been hit by a truck. Images of that room come back to him, and he hurriedly blinks again, trying to concentrate on his surroundings instead, focusing on the sounds of the machines around him. The standard antiseptic smell. Also, there's a source of warmth nearby. He minutely turns his head and sees a familiar figure: it's Danny, who's sleeping with his head resting on his arms and Steve's hand, sitting in a rather twisted position in a chair pushed up to the bed. How he can sleep like that at all is a mystery to Steve, but he's happy that his partner's here. It was Danny he tried to think of in that horrible white room, Danny whom he loved and whom he wanted to return to, a thought which gave him fresh strength when by rights it should all have been spent at one point.
He sighs, closing his eyes again; he's ever so tired. It's okay to close his eyes again though, because now he can concentrate on his partner, who will very likely still be here when he wakes up the next time.
Danny wakes up with a tremendous crick in his neck and various muscle aches. Groaning, he sits up and finds Steve smiling at him; immediately, he gets to his feet, crick and everything else forgotten: “Hey, Babe.”
He doesn't aks him how he feels because Steve looks terrible: where his face isn't bruised or bandaged, he's very pale. But his eyes, though still red-rimmed, are clear, and his smile is genuine if a little sad. Danny leans over and kisses him tenderly, gently cupping Steve's face with one hand; he feels how Steve kisses back, how much he loves this man and what it would have done to him if Steve had been killed. He's trembling again and can't bring himself to pull back; they stay like this for a moment, face to face, appreciating each other's closeness.
“I love you,” Danny eventually says very softly, his thumb stroking Steve's cheek.
Steve, who is holding on to Danny's shirt with his uninjured hand, pulls him even closer so that he can press his nose into Danny's cheek and inhale his scent and feel his solid presence, nods: “I love you more,” he mutters, his voice brittle, his breath hot and humid against Danny's skin. “I love you so much.”
Danny cautiously puts one arm around him, careful not to aggravate his injuries, and supports himself on the mattress with his elbow; it's a rather uncomfortable position, but it's what Steve needs right now and that's all that matters. He can feel that his partner is trembling and that's no surprise, considering. So he just holds him as tightly as he dares and tells him again and again how much he loves him until Steve's somewhat calmer. He is aware that this isn't something they are just going to walk away from, that Steve, despite his training, will probably need help coping with the aftermath of having been tortured like that. Danny will do whatever it takes to provide support, of course, as will their ohana. For a moment, he feels proud that they can always rely on each other, all of them, no matter what.
“Danno,” Steve murmurs, pulling Danny out of his musings.
“Yeah, Babe?”
“I wish you'd met my dad.”
Danny plants a sideways kiss on Steve's jaw: “Me too,” he answers quietly.
Steve inhales somewhat tremulously: “I miss him.” His voice is barely audible.
“I know, Babe,” Danny replies after a moment of apprehension. “I'm so sorry.”
“He'd have liked you.”
“He better! I mean, I'm practically his son-in-law.”
Steve's breath hitches for a moment: “Yeah.”
He remains silent after that, just turns his head a little and presses his nose more firmly against Danny's skin.
After a few weeks, most of his injuries have healed and Steve is outwardly carrying on as usual. His subconscious however is still dealing with the matter, just as Danny expected. Every night, Steve dreams about Wo Fat in one way or other; sometimes, he is back in the white room or in the torture room, sometimes there are other people, sometimes it's just darkness or dripping sounds. Inevitably though, those dreams have Steve struggling physically at one point so that Danny wakes up as well, either because Steve's limbs are flailing or because Steve is making noises or both. Sometimes he is just trembling so hard that the mattress is shaking.
Danny usually manages to calm his partner down or at least wake him and then calm him down. After the first two weeks, he suggests counseling, and Steve, much to Danny's surprise, agrees. The truth is that he feels bad not only because he is haunted by what happened, but also because Danny's got dark shadows underneath his eyes from the lack of sleep. He's always there for Steve after a nightmare, gets him a fresh shirt if the old one is wet from sweat, gets him something to drink, talks to him, holds him tight and tells him that everything will be all right. Sometimes, he even sings. He's sweet, really, but the strain of being awake every night is beginning to show. They are both tired. And Steve knows that Danny is still dealing with his brother's death on top of that, is sometimes still having nightmares of his own. Therefore he agrees to get professional help; in the hospital, he has been given a brochure with a list of people he can turn to, and now he's glad about that.
When he comes home from the first session three days later, he feels elated and agitated at the same time. It's late afternoon on a Friday, and he finds Danny and Grace in the kitchen, making Pizza.
“Hey,” he pecks both of them on the cheek. “This looks good.”
“It's a Williams Special,” Grace says solemnly. “With two different kinds of cheese, Cheddar and Mozzarella.”
“Sounds delicious,” Steve exchanges a glance with Danny, who looks at him attentively:“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Steve replies lightly, “everything went well.”
Danny smiles at him: we'll get there, his eyes seem to say.
Steve smiles back.
Of course, the nightmares don't immediately stop. They do begin to occur less frequently after a while however; small steps, Danny says, are progress as well. Steve is amazed by his patience and unconditional support even though Danny is currently sporting a black eye, courtesy of said flailing limbs. Steve feels horribly guilty about that even though it was an accident and Danny hasn't complained once (resulting in Steve watching him closely for a day, fearing he might be coming down with something. Which he didn't.). Since he doesn't treat him differently than usual apart from that, knowing that his partner doesn't need or want to be mollycoddled, Steve just puts it down to Danny's general awesomeness. Which Steve has lately been thinking about a lot anyway, because he can't stop pondering what Danny said in the hospital about practically being John McGarrett's son-in-law. Steve finds that his stomach is full of annoying little butterflies every time he is mulling this over; he'd love to be married to Danny. He just doesn't think that Danny wants to get married ever again. Maybe he'll have to talk to Grace and ask her opinion; she knows her father well, after all.
All of these musings come to a screeching halt when Danny gets arrested for the murder of Marco Reyes. The next 48 hours are a nightmare in their own right; for the first time since his abduction, Steve doesn't think about Wo Fat at all. And then the situation is pretty much reversed: he is keeping vigil by Danny's hospital bed while his partner recovers from the abuse he suffered in the Colombian prison. The injuries are extensive considering how briefly he has been there: apart from the severe bruises and contusions all over his body and the lacerations in his face he has sustained a grade II concussion, a broken collarbone, several fractured ribs front and back as well as a ruptured spleen which required surgery.
Steve regards his partner, who looks exhausted even in his sleep, and wonders why Danny didn't try to fight the extradition, didn't even try to defend himself.
He is shocked when Danny tells him, two days later when he is strong enough to stay awake for a bit and talk, how he has found it difficult to cope with having shot someone like that, even though Marco Reyes certainly deserved what he got, and that some part of him had probably hoped that giving himself up like that might change that.
“Danno,” Steve says feebly, not even sure at first which part of this revelation shocks him the most: that he had no idea how much the matter had affected Danny in the end, the fact that Danny hadn't even tried to fight for himself, considering himself guilty anyway, or the unpleasantly selfish notion that here was yet another person he loved who had left him for ulterior reasons and would have been gone for good if he hadn't done something about it. He knows that he is being unfair, but he is trembling all of a sudden and his mind is reeling.
When Danny doesn't reply, Steve shakes his head: “I need to get some air.” Even as he lets go of Danny's hand and turns towards the exit, he feels like a traitor. He doesn't look back, doesn't see the expression on his partner's face which is a mixture of dismay and helplessness. Danny knows that Steve's having abandonment issues- how could he not- but he hasn't even thought about that until Steve went pale upon hearing what Danny said about not fighting the extradition. Danny sighs unhappily, immediately regretting it because of his aching ribs; he didn't mean to hurt Steve like this. He feels far too muzzy to have such a conversation right now; maybe he shouldn't have said anything. What a mess it all is.
Steve storms out of the hospital and to his car; he has spent most of the past few days here, with Danny, who wasn't doing too well at first, having everyone worried because he didn't respond to the antibiotics, and he's still running a low but persistent fever.
Steve hasn't slept much during this whole time; he's worn out. And now he feels... betrayed, somehow. He turns on the ignition and just drives for a while. His phone rings a few times- it's Danny, but he doesn't pick up. They were having a good, solid thing going, or so he thought, and now this.
He ends up in the same spot Danny likes so much. Reluctantly but too tired to drive further, Steve gets out of the truck and sits down on the low wall, staring ahead unseeingly at first but after a while finding himself watching the ocean, which calms him down every time. No wonder that Danny likes this place. Steve vividly recalls the last time he found him here, after Matt's funeral. How quiet Danny had been, how he had blamed himself for everything just because he hadn't been able to stop his brother from getting himself into trouble. With a pang, Steve realizes that he probably hasn't been paying enough attention to Danny lately, has only seen his own problems. And suddenly, he misses his partner, who has been there for him so unconditionally all the time, who hasn't let him down once. And Steve feels guilty because now that he thinks about it, of course Danny'd never have left him for selfish reasons; that he didn't try to fight only shows how desperate he must have been. But that's just it, a stubborn little voice inside Steve's mind insists, didn't he know I'd have helped him? Did he feel that he was alone in this? Steve ponders this for a while, but then he thinks of Danny's big heart, of how much love he is able to give. How his family and loved ones are his first and foremost priority. So no, Steve concludes, that's not it. He did it to protect his family. To protect me.
And now he is ashamed, not only because he doubted Danny's loyalty but also because he's left Danny mostly alone with his feeling of guilt all this time when he should have noticed that it wasn't enough to just tell him that none of it was his fault.
Danny is lying awake. He feels groggy and somewhat uncomfortable and would like nothing better than to close his eyes and sleep, but he can't forget the hurt expression on Steve's face just before he left so abruptly. It's true what he told him though; for a while, he thought he was doing well enough, but every time he lay awake after one of Steve's nightmares his own demons came back to haunt him.
After his arrest, everything felt surreal, as though he was in a twilight zone. But despite the feeling of dread and the worry about Grace and Steve and the rest of his family, a small part of him also felt weirdly relieved- he isn't good at lying and dishonesty, and the guilt he has felt ever since he's shot Reyes has been weighing him down more than he'd have anticipated. It has all been a haze from the moment the U.S. Marshal has cuffed him until he arrived in Colombia, where the numbness suddenly had been replaced by real fear.
He's grateful that everything turned out in his favour, thanks to Steve and their team, but maybe he'll also need professional counseling from now on. Especially if Steve... he doesn't manage to think this thought out because it hurts too much and also because his thoughts are strangely sluggish. Despite that, he can't shake the dreadful notion that maybe he has lost Steve after all because he has given him the impression that he didn't need him and would all too readily have left him.
Slowly, Danny blinks; he feels hot and weary and also very annoyingly near tears. Steve didn't answer when he tried to call him earlier. He wonders if he should call Grover, but then again, maybe Steve just wants to be left alone. Danny thinks that he'll try again just one more time, but picking the phone up from the nightstand seems a tremendous effort all of a sudden and he can't muster the energy to do it because his limbs are too heavy; he really feels uncomfortably warm now. He wishes he could call Grace; hearing her voice always makes him feel better. Grace however doesn't know what exactly has transpired, only that he's in the hospital. As soon as he was lucid enough, he made Steve go and talk to her; even though he was desperately longing to see her, he didn't want her to see him like this. So he made Steve promise not to tell her anything but reassure her nevertheless.
“How am I supposed to do that?” Steve had asked, but had driven off to Rachel's nevertheless. When he came back, he said that Grace was okay but was probably having questions. Accordingly, she has sent Danny lots of messages in the meantime, asking how he was and when she could see him. If Danny called her now, she might notice that something's off.
So he presses the call button instead and asks the nurse if she can open a window. She looks at him with a sympathetic frown and briefly touches his temples: “How are you feeling, Mr. Williams?”
“Just a little hot,” Danny replies, unaware that his voice is thin and his speech a little slurred. The nurse nods: “I'll check your temperature.”
When Steve returns to the hospital in the early evening, he collides with the nurse who is coming out of Danny's room.
“I'm sorry, Commander,” she says, but Steve shakes his head: “I'm sorry. I was in a hurry.”
She smiles: “Don't worry. I'm sure it's going to be all right. Things like these happen.”
Steve's inner alarm bells go off: “Excuse me- I wasn't here this afternoon. What's going on?”
“Oh. Sorry. It's just that you hardly left Mr. William's side, I assumed... “ She breaks off.
Impatiently, Steve shifted his weight: “It's okay.”
His stomach drops unpleasantly when he hears that Danny's fever has risen once more because the incision site is inflamed, which is probably due to the antibiotics not taking effect for too long.
Danny appears to be asleep; unnatural red hues on his otherwise pale face betray his condition. The nurse said that he is intravenously receiving additional antipyretics which should work fast, but that doesn't change the fact that Danny looks ill. His skin is clammy and hot when Steve tentatively touches his temple with the back of his fingers. He hesitates, then gently caresses Danny's cheek. Unexpectedly, he opens his eyes, which are glazed over and take a moment to focus on his visitor.
“Hey,” Steve says in a low voice.
Danny just blinks and closes his eyes again. Steve can't tell whether he's just not up to dealing with this now or whether he's too hurt. Anyway, Steve feels a cold shudder running down his spine. He stays where he is, rooted to the spot, full of shame and anxiety.
On the following morning, Steve finds himself curled up in the same chair by the bed which he's been napping in during the past nights. He stretches his sore muscles and gets to his feet; Danny's still sleeping. Quietly so as not to disturb him, Steve leaves the room to go to the bathroom and splash some water in his face; when he comes back, Danny's awake because the nurse has already been in.
Steve approaches the bed slowly, unaware of his very self-conscious expression. Danny looks at him tiredly without saying a word.
“I'm sorry,” Steve says. “I'm so sorry, Danno. I behaved like a selfish ass when this wasn't even about me.”
Danny still looks ill if not so feverish anymore. His gaze wanders over Steve's exhausted face now: “I'm sorry too,” he replies, and his voice is brittle. “I want you to know that I never intended to leave you.”
Steve feels his eyes moisten. He steps even closer to the bed and tentatively takes Danny's hand in his: “You have nothing to apologize for, Danno,” he says. “It's me and I'm so, so sorry. You've been nothing but supportive and I've been an egoistic bastard. I should've noticed how the whole business with Matt affected you. Instead, I was only thinking of my own problems.” He lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss on Danny's: “And I shouldn't have stormed out like that yesterday.”
“That admittedly was a tad shitty,” Danny retorts. “With me being stuck here and unable to follow you.”
“I know,” Steve says, his voice full of remorse. “I... I just didn't think straight anymore.”
Danny studies him: “But you came to your senses.”
“Yeah. I went to your spot.”
“My spot?”
“The one where you ended up after getting lost when you first came to Hawaii.”
“Oh. That spot.” A brief, small smile graces his face.
Steve kisses his hand again: “It made me think about you. Realize a few things. Important things.”
He has always been straightforward, but Danny can see that it's difficult for him to get this out. Considering all the hardship he's been through in his life, it's remarkable that he turned out this amazingly good guy at all. He's just not very good at the emotional front sometimes.
“I'm sorry,” he now whispers. “Can you forgive me?”
Danny simply pulls him closer, subduing a groan at that because every movement hurts: “Forgiveness is pending,” he says quietly, smiling for real this time. He's just glad that Steve's okay and that he came back; he's been irrevocably hurt by too many people in his life. Danny doesn't want to be one of them, on the contrary: he wants Steve to feel safe, to overcome this constant subliminal insecurity.
“I love you,” Steve murmurs, kissing him.
Danny looks at him: “I love you too, Babe. Next time though, don't run away.”
Steve nods, obviously still ashamed, judging by how his face flushes at these last words. “Apparently, it runs in the family,” he says feebly in the attempt to lighten the mood, but it only serves to remind him how much he hated it every time his mother did it.
Danny lets go of Steve and slowly raises his hand to cup his face: “You're not like Doris in that regard, Babe,” he says softly, having read his partner's mind with astonishing ease.
Steve closes his eyes, leaning into the touch: “You're amazing,” he all but whispers, sounding sad and tired and heartbreakingly young. If Danny could, he'd sit up now to gather Steve in his arms. Since sitting up is not an option for the time being however, he gently caresses Steve's cheek with his thumb: “We'll be okay,” he says softly. “We'll sort things out, I promise.”
Steve nods, eyes still closed; it will take a while for his shame to abate, he's sure of that.
Half an hour later, Steve finally goes home to shower and sleep. Danny insists that he'll be okay and will probably mostly be sleeping as well anyway, and Steve gives in because he can barely keep his eyes open.
Despite the feeling of guilt which is still nagging him, he falls asleep within minutes and sleeps deep and dreamlessly for a change.
He's just gotten up in the early evening and is checking the fridge for something edible when his phone rings. Without looking at the display, he answers it and immediately wishes he'd have paid attention or let it go to voicemail: it's Clara, who has been trying to reach Danny for days. Even though Steve's brought him his cell phone to the hospital, he's put it on mute most of the time and keeps it in the drawer of the nightstand. But there's another reason why he doesn't call his mom back, of course: he doesn't want to scare her. Matt's death has put his parents through hell, and Danny doesn't want to add to their pile of worries.
Steve adores Clara, but he isn't sure if he should be the one to tell her what happened.
“I can't get Daniel on the phone,” she says, cutting right to the chase. “I've left him a message but he didn't call back. He always calls back. Is he alright?” She sounds calm, but Steve thinks he can hear a slight strain in her voice; she seems to sense that something's wrong.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Steve takes a deep breath: “Yeah. He is. He's in the hospital though.”
Clara inhales sharply: “Why?”
Steve eases himself into the armchair: “It's a long story. Do you have some time?”
Later that day, when Steve returns to the hospital, Danny is fast asleep. His skin still feels a little warm, but the red hues on his cheeks are gone and his face is relaxed. Sweet, amazing Danny. Not wanting to wake him, Steve restrains himself from touching him even though his fingers are itching to; instead, he just sits down and closes his eyes as well; he's been sleeping all day but he's still knackered. While he's drifting off, he thinks about the following day, wondering how Danny is going to react...
On the next morning, Steve wakes early which suits him just fine; he's got to get home and prepare a few things before picking up Danny's parents at the airport. Since Danny is still rather groggy after waking up, Steve decides against telling him that his mom and dad will be here soon; knowing Danny, he'll only work himself up with worry, which he definitely doesn't look up to right now, on the contrary. He's still so pale. Steve doesn't like the idea of leaving him, but at least he's in good hands. Gently, he caresses his cheek: “I've got to take care of a few things, Danno. I'll be back in the afternoon, okay?”
“'Course. I'll be fine,” Danny replies, but he holds on to Steve's hand for a moment: “You okay, Babe?”
Steve nods and kisses him, lingering for a few seconds: “I'll miss you,” he says quietly. It's true and it equally makes his heart soar and the guilt from the previous day rear its ugly head again, even though he knows that Danny wouldn't secretly hold a grudge; if he were still offended, he'd not hold back. As it is, he squeezes Steve's hand and pulls him in for another kiss: “Same here.”
Clara and Eddie are looking well at first glance. On closer inspection though, Clara is even thinner than before and her face looks a little haggard; Eddie hasn't changed much but he seems to walk with a slight stoop Steve has never noticed before.
Clara hugs Steve but he can feel that she's impatient to see Danny, and that's understandable after all. They load the Williams' luggage into Steve's truck; it's considerable less on Clara's side than the last time. Since Steve wants to give Danny's parents some time alone with their son, he'll just drop them off at the hospital, then he'll take the luggage home. He wasn't sure about this at all and has been thinking about it all morning, but now that they're here, he's glad that he didn't try to dissuade Clara from hopping onto the next available plane.
Danny's been awake in the morning; shortly after Steve left, the nurse came in, then it was the doctor's rounds; afterwards, Kamekona dropped by, bringing grapes and a book with sudokus instead of anything shrimp related claiming that the cutest nurse of all people gave him such a stink-eye last time. Danny, who wasn't even aware that Kamekona had visited before, was secretly glad since most of the time he doesn't feel like eating anyway. They chatted for a bit, and once Kamekona left, Danny closed his eyes, feeling tired; it didn't take long for him to fall asleep.
When he wakes up few hours later, he feels a hand on his good arm: a large one, but it's not Steve's. Blinking, since his eyes are feeling gritty, he turns his head, then he stares: “Pop?”
His father smiles at him: “Hey there, Tot.”
Danny blinks again: “What are you doing here?”
“We wanted to see you. Make sure you're going to be okay.”
“How-”
“Your mom called Steve.”
Ah. “Where is she?”
“Trying to find some coffee, she's a bit tired.”
“You really didn't have to come all the way out here.”
“Yes, we did.”
Danny tries to read his dad's expression: “Look, I'm sorry I didn't call Ma back. I didn't want you to worry about me, you've got enough on your plates as it is.”
Eddie momentarily looks sad: “But we've got four children, not only the one we lost,” he says quietly.
Danny unexpectedly feels his eyes sting at that. Eddie looks at his son and is ever so glad that they have come.
To see Danny so battered is hard to bear; it's true that Clara went to get coffee, but she also wanted a moment to regain her composure. They know that his job is a dangerous one and they have learned to live with that and are actually proud of him, but seeing him like this is a whole different number. And Eddie can still look at Danny and effortlessly rewind time until he sees the little boy who used to ride on his shoulders squealing with delight, the baby who only stopped fussing after waking up in the night if he held its tiny hand until it had drifted off again, which he did every time.
Danny's always been more vulnerable than people'd think; he cares deeply about others, and he worries. Therefore, Eddie correctly assumes that Danny is blaming himself for Matt's death, which is something they'll have to talk about. Not now though; Danny looks as though a slight breeze could knock him over. Eddie shudders to think what he's been through in Colombia; Steve hasn't gone into details when he talked to Clara, but the evidence is right in front of him, after all. And even though Eddie knows better than to doubt his son's motives, he still felt a little hurt that Danny didn't call him, didn't ask for his help. Which is another thing they'll have to talk about once Danny's recovered enough.
He gently squeezes his arm now: “I love you, Tot,” he says. “I hope you know that we'll always be there for you if you need us.”
Danny clears his throat; before he can say anything however, Clara comes in. When she sees that Danny's awake, she leans over the bed, gently cups his face with her hands and kisses him: “My baby,” she says, her eyes swimming as she is stroking over his hair. “My baby.”
“Hi, Ma,” Danny says softly. “I'm sorry I didn't call you back.”
Clara pulls back a little: “It's okay,” she replies. “I know you didn't want us to worry, Sweetheart.” She studies his battered face: “But we can handle it, you hear me? Next time, call.”
“Okay.” Danny feels a little overwhelmed; he doesn't think that he could ever make his parents understand how subtle but yet very real Alexander's threats against Danny's family had been, that it wouldn't have sufficed to just 'lawyer up' as Steve had put it, so he doesn't say anything. It doesn't matter. He's actually just glad that they're here.
When Steve drops by later that afternoon, Eddie is sitting in the chair next to the bed, reading the papers to Danny; Clara is napping in a second chair which has been brought in.
Danny's face lights up when he sees his partner, who hesitates for a moment before bending down to kiss him, if rather brief and chastely, but Eddie is frowning at the sports section anyway.
“That was quite a surprise,” Danny says, but he is smiling.
Steve grimaces: “I didn't really have a choice, did I?”
“Probably not.” They just look at each other for a moment. Steve takes Danny's hand and squeezes it, hoping that he understands that it's supposed to mean how much he loves him.
“Well,” Eddie gets to his feet, “now that reinforcements are here, it's my turn to look for some decent coffee. Can I get anyone anything?”
“I'm fine, thank you,” Danny and Steve say in unison. Eddie pats Steve's shoulder: “Be right back.”
When he's gone, Steve moves closer to the bed: “Hey you,” he says softly.
Danny pulls at his hand and Steve immediately complies, though he quickly glances at Clara as he's leaning over the bed to check if she's still sleeping.
They kiss tenderly and unhurriedly. “I can't wait till you're out of here, Danno,” Steve says softly. “Everything's so dull without you.” And all he wants is to wrap himself around Danny and never let go again.
“Can I have that in writing?” Danny teases, but his expression is affectionate.
“I need to ask you for another favour,” he then says in a more serious tone.
“What is it?”
“I need you to pick up Grace and bring her here.”
Steve is surprised: “Really?”
“Yeah.” Danny looks a bit uneasy: “My parents think that we should set things straight and tell her about Matt and what happened with Marco Reyes.”
Steve considers this: “So you're gonna tell her everything?”
“Well, not entirely, no. She doesn't need to know the gory details and I still want her to remember her uncle as the great person who she thinks was the coolest uncle ever, present company excluded. But I can't keep lying to her about Matt, and I need her to understand why I was arrested.” His eyes are haunted for a moment, and Steve quickly reinforces his grip around Danny's hand: “But that's good, Danno,” he says. “I think it's great, and it's a good idea to do it together with your parents. And Gracie is old enough to understand, don't you think?”
“Yeah.” It sounds hesitant.
“But?”
Danny sighs: “But it'll give her a pretty good idea about the more sinister workings of the world, something which I'd rather keep from her until she's at least 43 or somewhere thereabouts.”
“Don't you think she's already got that idea, considering that she only needs to watch the daily news?”
“I know. And you're right. But this is my little girl we're talking about. The one who still likes to read books like 'Black Beauty' and 'The Wind in the Willows'.”
Steve smiles: “She'll take it in her stride- she's strong, like you.”
“But she'll think I'm a murderer.” And from the way that his voice nearly gives out at these words, Steve realizes that this is the crux of the thing.
“She won't,” he says emphatically. “She knows you better than that, Danno. She adores you!”
"She will know that I killed someone out of revenge."
Steve shakes his head: "She'll understand. Come on, Danno, give her some credit."
Danny still looks doubtful, but he squeezes Steve's hand because the whole discussion is somewhat pointless anyway and he knows that his anxiety about this will only get worse the longer he'll have to wait: “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Steve says, bending down for another kiss: “You want me to go now?”
“Yeah. I already called Rachel that you'd be by some time in the early evening.”
“And you really think you're up to it already?”
“I am. It's no good postponing any further.” And he can't stand missing his baby girl for much longer either.
“Okay.” Steve winks at Danny, then he's off.
A moment later, Clara opens her eyes, stretches and gets to her feet.
“I knew it,” Danny says.
She smiles archly: “I didn't want to interrupt you two. You're really sweet together, do you know that?”
While Danny is still searching for an answer, Clara takes his hand: “I heard what you said about Grace,” she says softly. “It never stops, you know? No matter how old your children get, you keep wanting to protect them from all the bad things in the world.”
Danny studies her face: “I'm so sorry about Matty,” he all but whispers.
Clara shakes her head: “It's not your fault, Baby,” she replies, her eyes swimming. “Even when he was little he was an unstoppable force when he wanted something. You're similar sometimes, but you're far more considerate than he ever was.” She blinks, wiping at the skin underneath her eyes: “And right now- I'm so angry at him, you know? I'm so angry at him for being so reckless and for putting you through all this... I'd strangle him if he was here!” She makes a sound which is somewhere between a sob and a laugh; by now, Danny's eyes are moist as well.
When Eddie comes back in, Clara is still standing by the bed holding their son's hand in hers, and both of them are crying silently. Eddie doesn't have to ask; quietly, he comes to stand next to his wife, putting one arm around her and his other hand on Danny's arm again. They stay like that for a long while; right after the funeral, they hadn't been in the right frame of mind to really share their grief in a quiet moment like this; the pain had been too raw, the notion that Matty was really gone too surreal. Maybe now, Eddie thinks, no matter how long it will take, they're ready to allow some healing to begin.
Chapter Text
Grace is excited at the prospect of seeing her father, but she's also apprehensive.
“How is he doing?” she asks Steve in the car while she puts the seatbelt on.
Steve hesitates: “He's pretty banged up, to be honest,” he says. “He's got a few cracked ribs and a broken collarbone, and he's had surgery on his spleen.”
Grace pales: “Is he in pain?” she asks, her voice small.
“No. He's getting all kinds of meds.” Steve glances at her: “I know that it sounds horrible, Gracie, and he's not looking so good right now, but Danno's strong, okay?” And it could have been so much worse, he adds in the privacy of his mind.
Grace nods: “I know.” She sounds downtrodden though.
“He's more worried about you,” Steve says in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Why?”
“Because he knew you were worried about him without even knowing what exactly was going on. He doesn't like to keep things from you.”
“Then why didn't he tell me what was going on?”
Steve sighs: “Because it's complicated. He didn't want to scare you. Ironically, most of all he didn't want you to worry.”
“Well,” Grace says drily, “that went entirely pear-shaped.” She sounds remarkably like Rachel and Steve marvels at how grown-up she sometimes seems.
“Yeah,” he admits. “It did.”
Steve follows Grace into Danny's room; she's been walking faster the closer they got. She barely even acknowledges her grandparents, who are standing by the bed and are now stepping back to make room; her eyes are on Danny alone. She doesn't hurl herself at him because she can see that she'd probably hurt him, she just half crawls onto the bed slowly but steadily and burrows her face into his neck: “Danno,” she says with evident relief in her voice. With a sigh, Danny closes his red-rimmed eyes and presses a kiss into her hair, and then another one: “Hey, Monkey.” He sounds relieved as well. They stay like that for a while, then Grace straightens up and looks him over: “Does it hurt?” she asks despite Steve's earlier reassurances because Danny looks so battered.
“Barely,” he answers truthfully. “It's not as bad as it looks, Monkey.”
She smiles and leans forward to kiss him: “I missed you!”
“I missed you too.” He returns her smile: “I'm really happy you're here.”
That evening, when Steve takes her back home, Grace is silent for a long time. Since she's got a lot to think about, he lets her be. He knows how annoying it is when the adults keep interrupting one's silences; he's been in that place after his mom's accident, after all.
“Thank you, Uncle Steve,” the girl eventually says.
Steve is surprised: “For what, darling?”
“For everything you're doing for Danno. And me.”
“We're ohana,” Steve replies after a moment. “Danno'd do the same if our roles were reversed. In fact, he's always been there for me as well.” More than you'll ever know.
“Yes,” Grace's voice is fond. “But sometimes he's getting in his own way because he worries too much, right?”
Steve can't but grin: “Right.”
Grace nods, looking at the trees flying by: “I'm glad they told me about Uncle Matt. And what Danno did.”
Steve glances at her: “You okay, Gracie?”
“Yeah. But I don't think Danno is.”
Steve once more marvels at her. Clever, clever girl, he thinks.
He takes a deep breath:“In our line of work, we sometimes have to shoot at people as well,” he says, practically hearing Danny scoff at that: 'Sometimes', Steven? “It's different when it's self-defense, but that doesn't make it easier.”
Grace nods: “I can imagine,” she murmurs. “Danno can't even kill a spider. He puts them in a glass and takes them outside, even the really big ones.”
Steve smiles: “I know. And I want you to understand that Danno'd never kill someone in cold blood. Marco Reyes- I was there when it happened, as you know. I'm not saying it's right to take the law in one's own hands. But if Danno hadn't shot him, I'd have.”
Grace looks at him for a long time: “Really?”
“Yeah.”
They remain silent for a while.
“Danno isn't a murderer, Gracie,” Steve eventually says quietly. “He was afraid that you'd think he was.”
“I know.” Grace looks at him again: “He's been feeling guilty all this time, hasn't he? And he didn't try to fight after he was arrested, so he really thought he was guilty.”
Which is still a sore point, but Steve doesn't heed the small pang it gives him: “He's a good guy, your dad,” he says. “And I think he needs us now more than ever.”
Grace is quiet after that. She doesn't have any conflicting feelings about this because she understands what happened, and he knows that her dad isn't someone who willfully hurts people. She just hopes that he'll be okay, that he'll be able to stop feeling so guilty at one point, because she can't bear to see him unhappy. It was bad after he and her mom broke up and for a long time after that. Until he met Uncle Steve, actually.
Whom she hugs tightly after they've arrived at her mom's house: “Thank you,” she says again. “I love you, Uncle Steve.”
“I love you too, Sweety,” he replies, kissing her on the nose.
With a much lighter heart, she walks towards the front door.
Danny feels rather shaken once Grace has left. She sat on the edge of the mattress during the talk, tightly holding his hand in hers, listening attentively and sometimes asking questions. Intelligent questions, he's so proud of her; she understood what they were telling her, and he's glad about that. She kissed him goodbye and stroked his face before leaving, telling him that she loved him, but he's a little anxious now nevertheless: it is a lot of information to process. What if she thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that he's someone to be scared of after all, someone who can't be trusted?
He fidgets; his parents have gone down to the cafeteria to get something to eat, if only after he repeatedly reassured them that he was going to be fine on his own. Which he isn't. He is restless and agitated.
At one point though, his phone rings: it's Grace.
“Hey, Monkey,” he says, full of trepidation. “You okay?”
“Hi Danno,” Grace says, her voice clear and strong. “Yes, I'm okay. I just wanted to thank you for being honest with me.”
He can't but smile: “Yeah?”
She hesitates: “I love you, Danno. I know that you'd never do something wrong. You're the best and I'm proud that you're my dad.”
Danny blinks; damn it, his eyes are getting moist again. “Thank you, Monkey,” he says, a little choked, “you have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I'll come by tomorrow, okay?”
“Yes, please.”
“Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“No,” he says. “Thank you, that's okay. Just bring yourself.”
He can hear her smile: “Okay. Good night, Daddy.”
“Good night, Monkey. Sleep well.”
His hand is trembling as he ends the call, but his anxiety has lessened considerably. His sweet little girl. He keeps forgetting how smart she is and that she's got a head of her own, that one.
When his parents come back from their dinner, he beckons them close and reaches for them with his good hand: “Thank you,” he says. “For everything.”
That night, Steve lies awake for some time, staring into the darkness. He's briefly talked to Danny before taking his parents home, and it seems as though they've made some real progress. Understandably, Danny was exhausted after such an emotionally taxing day, but Steve hopes that his mind is at ease now and that he'll be able to sleep. He misses him and wishes he was here with him, that they were wrapped around each other, preferably naked. He loves how Danny's body feels against his own, how his scent is all around him when they're so close. Sighing, Steve closes his eyes.
A week goes by in a blink. Eddie and Clara visit Danny every day, but eventually he succeeds in making them go and do some fun stuff as well. So they go for a hike up Diamond Head, visit the Arizona Memorial and the Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, try out stand up paddleboarding at Ala Moana Beach and take Grace swimming and for shave ice.
Even though they hadn't expected their time here to turn into a holiday, it visibly does them good- maybe a change of scenery is exactly what they needed, Danny thinks. He is making progress himself and will be allowed to go home soon if his vitals remain stable. The fever finally abated a few days ago and he doesn't feel so overall muzzy anymore. Besides, he's itching to get out of the hospital bed.
When Danny is finally discharged two days later, he's already dressed and waiting as Steve comes in. Once he's allowed to get out of that infernal wheelchair at the entrance, he's glad to have Steve for support because he's still rather tottery after mostly lying in bed for so long. He's lost weight and he's still very pale, Steve notices. Outside, they pause for a moment as Danny turns his face towards the sun, inhaling deeply, before Steve helps him into the truck and fastens the seat-belt for him because that's impossible with his immobilized arm.
Then Steve gets in as well, but now he can't wait any longer. He turns towards Danny and kisses him, deeply, hungrily, and Danny responds with equal eagerness. They take their sweet time because Steve has to get to work after dropping Danny off, and they have missed each other for so long.
All day, Steve is vibrating with positive energy since he's so elated that tonight Danny will be there and he won't have to sleep alone any longer. He's also very glad that his partner isn't on his own during the day because his parents are staying for a while longer, looking after him while he's recuperating, making sure he's eating and taking his meds.
Despite best laid plans, Steve comes home rather late. When he crawls into bed, Danny is already asleep, lying on his back because of his shoulder. Carefully, Steve snuggles against his side, pressing his nose against the warm, smooth and heavenly-scented skin of his bare shoulder and, feeling at home, closes his eyes.
Danny mumbles something under his breath and Steve smiles, utterly happy to have him back. He doesn't wake up once during the night.
On the following evening, which is a Friday, Grace comes to stay for the weekend. Steve puts on a barbecue and Clara mixes some nonalcoholic cocktails with Grace's help. It's a beautiful evening, and Danny is resting on a deckchair on the lanai after walking along the beach with his daughter for a bit; Grace always wants to look for sea shells. Danny's tired out rather quickly however, and once he sat down, it didn't take long for him to doze off. Steve, who's been waiting for exactly this to happen, beckons Eddie, who is sitting next to his son, inside and asks him to come into the kitchen where the others are.
“We're making Shirley Temples,” Grace says.
Steve rubs his hands together because all of a sudden he's nervous: “They look great,” he replies a little breathless, at which Clara puts the tray of ice cubes down rather abruptly and looks at him attentively.
“What is it, Buddy?” Eddie asks.
Steve clears his throat: “I've got, er... I've got something to talk to you about.” He rubs his hands again, then, feeling silly, he puts them down. But now he doesn't know what to do with them. At all.
“Are you okay, Uncle Steve?” Grace asks, but Clara puts a hand on her shoulder: “Hear him out, darling.”
Steve shifts his weight from one foot to the other: “As you know, Danny and I have been together for quite some time now, and we've been through some pretty rough patches. Which you know as well. I consider myself lucky to have Danny as my partner both at work and, er, privately-” Now he's blushing. Furiously. Great. “I can't imagine a greater guy. He's amazing, and you all also know that. But. Well.”
Clara's hand slowly wanders to her mouth. Steve doesn't even notice that he's rubbing his own again. “I think we all agree that he's very important to us and that we all love him very much and that's why I... I'd like to ask you all for his hand in marriage. Well. If he wants to marry me at all.”
There's a moment of stunned silence, then both Clara and Grace squeal simultaneously and some flying ice cubes can only narrowly be avoided. Eddie however turns towards Steve and solemnly offers him his hand: “My son couldn't hope for a better partner,” he says quietly. “And we'd be happy to officially welcome you into the family, Steve.”
At that, Steve feels himself tearing up but there's no time to worry about that because now Clara and Grace are throwing their arms around him and nearly hug the stuffing out of him.
“I take it that's a yes,” Eddie says, smiling.
“Now Aunt Kono owes me five dollars,” Grace tells them happily.
“You are betting on us?”
“All the time.”
Steve laughs, relieved about this utterly positive reaction: “You're forgetting something here though- I haven't asked Danno yet.”
“Haven't asked Danno what?” asks a sleepy voice behind him.
“If you'd like a Shirley Temple,” Grace quickly says.
Danno rubs his eyes with his free hand, still a little drowsy and therefore not noticing the general excitement: “No, thank you Monkey. I'll stick with water tonight.”
Behind his back, Steve winks at Grace.
After dinner, Clara joins Steve while they are all watching a spectacular sunset: “I wanted to thank you,” she tells him quietly. “I know how much you're doing for my son. He's always trying to be strong, but sometimes he calls me and I can tell that it's hard for him. So I'm really, really glad that he's got you.” She smiles at him. Steve puts his arm around her and kisses her cheek: “Thank you, Clara. But it's a mutual thing, you know? Danny's always there for me too.”
Clara sighs, nodding: “I'm really happy about you two.”
Steve returns her smile: “Me too.”
Later that evening, after Danny's gone to bed, Grace helps Steve to carry the dishes inside.
“Are you really okay with me wanting to marry Danno?” he asks while they put the plates into the dishwasher.
Grace pauses: “You're making him happy. And apart from that, I don't think that it will change so much.”
“No? Why is that?”
She shrugs: “We already are like a family, after all.”
Steve straightens up; of course, she's right. “We are,” he concedes. “So... do you want to keep calling me uncle?”
Grace looks at him uncertainly: “That'd probably be weird.”
“Yeah.”
Steve smiles, puts the last plate down and extends his hand: “Hi, my name is Steve.”
Grinning, Grace shakes it: “Nice to meet you, Steve.”
They continue to clean up the kitchen.
“Unc- Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“When are you going to ask him?”
Steve shrugs: “I don't know yet. I think I'll wait until he's better.”
“Do you have something special planned?”
“I have spent endless sleepless nights on it. But it's no good. So far, I've only got the ring. Just bought it, actually.”
Grace perks up: “You did?”
“Yeah. I think the ring is what it comes down to, isn't it?”
“Probably. How did you know his size?”
“I know where he keeps his old ring. I took it to be measured.”
“I didn't know he still had it.”
“Ah, he's an old romantic. He'd never throw something like that out or sell it on.”
“Can I see it?”
“It's upstairs. I'll show you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” With a smile, Grace continues to put the condiments back into the fridge.
Steve has indeed spent a lot of time trying to come up with the perfect proposal; after all, Danny's very romantic even though he'd never admit it. It's not so easy though, because Steve wants to avoid all the clichés on the one hand but really surprise Danny on the other.
In the end however, it's unexpectedly easy.
A few days after Clara and Eddie have left, Steve comes home in the evening to find his mother handcuffed to a chair and Danny sitting opposite her with his gun within easy reach.
Steve stares from one to the other and back, momentarily speechless until Doris rolls her eyes: “Hello, Steve.”
“Mom- what are you doing here?”
“I came to visit. I didn't expect for Danny to arrest me. To be honest, I thought no one was home.”
Steve looks at his partner, who is shaking his head: “She has a habit of disappearing again, no? I just thought I'd make sure that didn't happen until you had a chance to talk to her.”
“How did you even manage to cuff her with only one hand?”
Danny grins: “The element of surprise.”
“I'm still waiting for that tea, by the way,” Doris says.
Steve ignores her: “You're amazing, Danno.”
His partner just smiles at him, and Steve thinks that maybe he doesn't have to wait any longer. He reaches for Danny: “Come with me for a moment?”
“What about your mom?”
“She doesn't appear to be in a hurry.” He turns to glare at Doris: “You better not leave.”
“Aye, aye, sir,” she says in mock salute. “Don't be too long, though. I might get a cramp.”
Steve ignores that as well and pulls Danny up the stairs with him and into the bedroom.
“What are you- Steve, your mom's downstairs and these walls are not exactly sound-proof if you know what I mean.”
Steve makes Danny sit down on the bed: “Just shut up for a moment, will you?”
He turns towards the dresser and rummages around in the lowest drawer before turning back to Danny and getting down on one knee in front of him.
Danny stares at him in shock: “Steve? What is this?”
Steve takes Danny's hand: “Danno... I know we may be having some issues and we're both damaged somehow, but every day, you're making my life just so much better than it was before I met you. And you're always having my back.”
Danny is sitting very still, only his eyes are following Steve's free hand as he produces the ring, trembling a bit: “I love you, Danno. I want to share my life with you. I've been wanting to ask you for a long time now... will you marry me?”
Danny looks from the ring to Steve and his expression softens because Steve, for all his earlier bravado, suddenly looks downright anxious: “How can I say no to that, you big goof,” he says, sounding a little choked. “Yes, Steve, I will marry you.”
Steve releases a breath he didn't know he's held and gently puts the ring on Danny's finger; it fits perfectly. Giddily, Steve leans forward to kiss his fiancé.
“Steve,” Danny then says, and his voice is still very solemn. “I've got...” He breaks off, obviously lost for words. “Let me just...” He gets up: “Wait here for a moment, okay?”
Steve gets to his feet and sits down on the bed, wondering what Danny is doing. From the sounds of it, he went to Mary's old room, and it doesn't take long for him to come back. He smiles at Steve, then, slowly, gets down on one knee in front of him: “Since we're at it...” he says, positively beaming now as he opens his hand and reveals a ring: “Seems like we had the same idea.”
Steve is momentarily speechless. “You got a ring?” he then asks softly. “For me?”
“No, they were on sale one day so I bought one just in case,” Danny quips. “Of course it's for you!”
Steve's eyes are moist all of a sudden.
“Hey, hey,” Danny says. “No snivelling until I'm done here, okay?”
At that, Steve laughs a little: “Okay.”
Danny now hands him a neatly and repeatedly folded piece of paper that looks like it's been carried around in a pocket for some time: “Open it for me, please?”
“You prepared a speech?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.”
“You're such an old-fashioned romantic...”
Ignoring him, Danny clears his throat: “Steven John McGarrett- without you, my life would be a hell of a lot quieter. Literally, that is, since there'd be much less shooting and explosions. But it'd also be sorely lacking something. You've become my significant other and that means not only loving each other but mutual trust and respect. Of course I did think you're crazy for a long time after we met, and sometimes I still do today. But apart from that you're the best guy a man could have for a partner, and I'm very, very happy that we didn't shoot each other that day in the garage.” He looks up and regards Steve affectionately: “And I can't imagine ever living without you again. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up with you every morning. I love you. Therefore... will you marry me?”
“Yes!” Steve's eyes are still – or again- moist, but he laughs as Danny puts the ring on his finger. “How did you know my size?”
“I measured your finger with a piece of twine.”
“What? When? How did I not notice that?”
“It's when you had that really bad cold and were knocked out by the medication Dr. Kekoa prescribed.”
“I didn't know you were so sneaky.” Smiling, Steve shakes his head.
Danny looks at him: “And how did you know my size?”
“Had your old ring measured.”
“Of course.” Danny shakes his head as well. “Steve? How are we going to tell Grace about this?”
Steve bites his lower lip: “She kind of already knows.”
“What?”
“I asked her for your hand in marriage. And your parents.”
Now Danny' eyes are swimming as well: “You did?”
“Yeah.” Steve shrugs: “Better to settle the dower beforehand, don't you think?”
Danny snorts, grinning:“What if they had said no?”
“I'd have offered more goats. And a donkey for Grace.”
“And you're calling me an old-fashioned romantic...”
“Apparently, it's catching.”
They both laugh, looking at their hands for a moment; Steve suddenly feels proud about this visible sign of their commitment towards one another. He reaches out and folds Danny into a one-armed hug before kissing him: “I love you so much!”
“I love you more,” Danny whispers, pressing his nose into Steve's skin.
With a lot of regret, Steve reigns himself in because as much as he wants to undress Danny and celebrate this with him, he's very aware that his mother is downstairs. Presumably. So he just nuzzles Danny's jaw: “I should probably go and talk to Doris, right?”
Danny, hearing his resigned tone, presses a kiss on the corner of his mouth: “If she's still there.”
Steve chuckles, straightening up, but then he pauses: “Wait. She'll see the ring and put two and two together. But I don't think that she should be the first to know.” He pulls out his cell phone and dials a number.
“Who're you-”
“Shshsh- hey, Gracie... No, he's alright, don't worry- we've got some news though. Wait, I'll put you on speaker.” He beams at Danny, who immediately falls in love with him all over again.
“Danno?”
“Hey, Monkey! Guess what? Steve and I... are you sitting down?”
“Yeah, yeah! Steve and you what?”
“Steve and I are engaged.”
The delighted squeal is ten times louder than they've ever heard it from her before: “Congratulations!” She then all but shouts. “How did you do it, Steve?”
Danny thinks that it's strange that she doesn't call him uncle anymore, but on the other hand, Steve's been as much a father to her as Stan in many regards .
“It was a spur of a moment thing,” Steve replies. “And guess what- your dad proposed as well. With a ring and all!”
“Really? Danno! Why didn't you tell me!”
“I'm sorry, Baby, I was going to talk to you about it... but then it kind of got put on the backburner, with everything that was going on...”
“I understand. But I want to hear every single detail about this, you hear me?”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
Grace giggles: “I've got to go now, I promised Mom to help with dinner. I love you guys!”
“Love you too, Monkey.”
“Love you too, Gracie.”
Danny pulls Steve back as he's about to the leave the room, kissing him again: “Thank you for that.”
“Anytime,” Steve says, nuzzling his nose with his.
“By the way- should I have asked Doris for your hand too?” Danny then asks, grinning. “As a matter of form?”
Steve sighs: “She wouldn't know what to do with a goat anyway.”
“Hand grenades maybe?”
“I'll let you know.” With a wink, Steve leaves the room.
Danny finds that he can't stop smiling, both from elation and a profound relief. After he bought the ring, he was contemplating how to tell his daughter about his intention to propose to Steve. He didn't think that she'd object since he's aware that she's loved Steve pretty much from day one, but he's also aware that, had she objected, he'd probably have gone through with it anyway. He's always tried to be considerate of Grace's opinions ever since she was old enough to have opinions, but this here is different. It's taken a substantial amount of time for him to realize and then come to terms with the fact that in this case, he'd have to make a decision based on his own welfare. He's rarely placed his own well-being over that of others, his daughter in particular always came first. Yet Grace, as much as Danny abhors the notion, is going to go off to college in a few years' time, and Danny can't bear to think about how alone he'd be without Steve then; he still vividly recalls the desolate first few months on Hawaii which were only bearable because of his little girl. But once she'll be gone, it's going to be seriously difficult at first, and there's only so much a heart can take.
After Steve's had it out with Doris and peace has been restored if probably only temporary, he tells her about the engagement.
She smiles, though she doesn't appear very surprised: “Congratulations, my darling."
"Thank you. And thank you for letting him cuff you. I take it you could have gotten out of that very easily, right?"
"Child's play. But it seemed important to him. And since he's injured..." She grins, but then turns serious again: "It seems you've found your match in Danny. I hope you'll be very happy.”
And Steve, as reluctant as he is to admit it, finds that he really appreciates her approval. So he holds on to her for a moment longer than he'd usually have as she hugs him now, pretending that they're a normal family. He only wishes he could tell his dad as well.
That night, they lie awake for a long while after celebrating a little bit (since the options are limited for the time being, Steve got creative, with literally very satisfactory results) but this time, it's because of sheer elation and excitement. Steve continued going to the therapist once Danny was out of the woods, but he hasn't been thinking about Wo Fat very often lately, and his subconscious seems to be catching on; the nightmares are much less frequent.
“What a day,” Danny murmurs. “I'm actually glad about the whole spur-of-the-moment thing, you know?”
“Really? Why?”
“Because I couldn't come up with a good plan. It seems like it's all been done, those whole ring-in-the-champagne-glass scenarios.”
Steve chuckles: “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I had the exact same problem!”
They laugh quietly. “We really are a match,” Steve mutters. Gently, he caresses Danny's hand which he is holding: “Are you happy, Danno?”
Danny studies him in the pale light of the moon which illuminates the room and casts deep shadows in the corners: “That's a difficult question, considering the past few months,” he says softly after a moment of contemplation. “But Matty and Wo Fat aside- yeah. As much as I'll ever be. What about you?”
“I am.” Steve pushes himself up on one elbow and supports his head with his free hand: “For a long time, I couldn't picture myself with anyone. Family only meant heartbreak, after all, and I didn't have a sense of what 'home' meant anymore. I thought I'd stay in the Navy my whole life, but then...” He smiles feebly. “Victor Hesse happened. And everything changed again.” He is silent for a moment. “I don't know what I'd done if I hadn't met you, Danno. You're the first and only person who has always been honest with me. With you, I always know what's what and where we stand. You never lied to me.”
Except when I signed the extradition, Danny thinks, that's why it hit you so hard. He doesn't say it out loud, however, because he still feels sorry about it. Apart from that, Steve is in a much better place right now, there's no point in reminding him of those dark moments.
“So after all the shit I've been through,” Steve continues, “I feel I've been blessed, not only with our Five-0hana but also with you and your family.” When they skyped with Danny's parents to tell them about their engagement, both of them were over the moon and welcomed Steve into the family with heartfelt warmth.
He smiles at the thought, raises Danny's hand to his mouth and kisses it.
Danny is touched by Steve's words, especially since his partner doesn't find it easy to voice his feelings: “Come here, you,” he says, pulling Steve closer until he can kiss him on the mouth. “I'm sorry about all the time you were feeling abandoned,” he whispers between kisses. “I've been there, if not nearly for so long, but I can imagine how it felt. And I want you to always feel safe and secure, Babe. I'll do my best to ensure you will, okay?”
“Yeah, I know,” Steve breathes against his lips. “Same here, Danno.”
Cautious not to put too much weight on Danny's torso, he rests his head on his partner's good shoulder; this here, with Danny's arm around him and Danny's scent in his nose and Danny's warmth against his skin is really all he needs to feel at home. Which is remarkable not only because there really were times when he didn't think he'd ever let anyone close to him again, but also because they are now living in this house. As soon as he could think clear again to some extent after his father's death, he was certain that he'd sell the place. But then he found that it still held so many memories of the only good time in his life, and apart from that, he could still feel his dad's presence there. Not like a ghost that was haunting the place but like a sense of who John McGarrett had been and how he had lived. And Steve had needed that. So he had hired a crime scene cleaner who had vanished all evidence of the violent way in which his dad's life had ended, and had moved in. In hindsight, it had been the right decision, even though his gaze sometimes does stray to the now perfectly normal looking wall which had been spattered with blood.
It had only become a home though once Danny moved in with him. Steve had filled the house with his things, Danny had managed to fill it with life. Which is another reason why Steve can close his eyes now and allow the sound of the wind and the sea to lull him into sleep.
On the following morning, Steve takes Danny to Iolani Palace. The team is happy to see their temporarily incapacitated colleague and vice versa; once more, he realizes how important they have become to him.
“How're you doing, brah?” Kono asks him, “you're not suffering from cabin fever already, are you?”
Danny and Steve exchange a glance: “No,” Danny replies, “I'm fine, thank you. We actually wanted to tell you guys something.”
“What is it?”
Steve steps closer to Danny and puts an arm around his shoulders, beaming: “We're engaged.”
After a moment of comprehension, Kono whoops loudly: “Congratulations! Finally!” Chin and Grover join in, and after the first round of compliments, shouting and laughter, Chin turns to Kono and holds out his hand: “Better pay up, Cuz.”
“You too?” Steve asks, though he can't stop beaming. “Why's everyone betting on us?”
Grover just shakes his head: “Seriously? Even I thought you two were married when I first got here. Apparently, everyone's been waiting for it to happen.”
“Everyone?”
“Yep. Which reminds me- I gotta call Duke.”
“Unbelievable.” Steve shakes his head, grinning.
Kono, who's been looking at their rings, is grinning as well: “So who asked whom?”
Steve smiles at Danny: “Well, I went first. Turned out though that Danny was going to ask me as well. So he did.”
“Does that count?” Kono frowns.
Danny shakes his head: “What do you mean, count?”
“Never mind.”
“Oh, come on- you bet on that as well?”
Kono cocks her head:“All's fair in love and... betting.”
“Well, I hope you won.”
“Depends. I'll have to talk to Kamekona.”
“Good luck with that. He's a tough businessman.”
“Yeah... How much would it take for you to tell him that you went first?”
“Are you asking me to aid and abet?”
“No? Well... maybe?”
“Steve, can you please cover your ears for me?”
Steve rolls his eyes but does as his partner asks.
Danny turns back to Kono: “Okay. Let's talk about paperwork...”
On the following weekend, they have a small engagement party at their house with only the team, Duke, Jerry, Kamekona, Flippa and Doris. Grace is staying over as well, so it's a nice, familial gathering.
Everyone who arrives insists on hugging not only Steve but Danny as well, if very cautiously, even Kamekona and Flippa. Danny swears he can feel his still tender ribs creak, but he doesn't complain.
There are leis and several toasts and a few songs by Flippa, and Steve realizes that he hasn't been this light-hearted for a long time.
Danny falls asleep in the big armchair at about ten. Grace watches him with a smile, glad that her dad's doing better. Kono joins her: “Conked out, huh?”
“Yeah,” Grace replies fondly, her eyes still on Danny, “he can sleep anywhere. I think the medication is making him tired though.”
Kono nods: “He seems really happy though.”
“He does,” Grace confirms. “When my mom and he split up, I thought he was never gonna smile again. Really smile, I mean, not only grimace and pretend.”
Kono contemplates that: “I know what you mean,” she says, amazed by the girl's perception.
Grace thinks back to the evening her parents told her they were going to get a divorce. Back then, she hadn't entirely understood what it meant and how profound her life was about to change, but later that night, she had heard her father cry and it had sounded so desperate, so heartbreaking, that she had cried too; it had felt like the end of the world. In hindsight and with the knowledge she now has, she has realized that it had indeed been hardest for Danno, because it was he who moved out, he who was alone. He wasn't even allowed to take his dog Cody with him; at the time, Grace had been glad that Cody stayed with her because he always snuck into her bed at night and made her feel safe. What she didn't see back then was that Cody had been with her dad all his life and probably missed him as much as she did. And when they moved to Hawaii, Cody had to go into quarantine, which in hindsight seems cruel because he had been old and had not survived it. Grace is convinced that he died of fear and heartbreak, and this is one thing that she will probably never stop feeling guilty about (and already had a row about with her mother). Poor Cody. Poor Danno. She blinks; today is not the day to start crying, but still. So after all Danno's been through, he deserves this happiness.
Lucas from school keeps mocking Grace because Danno is with another man, but only from afar; he hasn't forgotten her right hook. If he doesn't stop, she'll have to talk to him; she isn't afraid of him. Unaware that she's doing it, she lifts her chin; she's not going to tolerate anyone badmouthing her father or Steve.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Kono says, smiling.
Grace shakes herself out of it: “There's a guy at school who keeps saying mean things about Danno and Steve.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I'm ignoring him most of the time, but he better watch out.”
Kono subdues another smile; she remembers the 'Grace punched a boy at school' episode.
“You'll be okay then,” she says, at which Grace nods: “Yeah.”
Doris joins Steve, who is quite inebriated from all the champagne by this time, and puts her arm around him: “I'm very proud of you,” she says softly.
Steve looks at her: “You are?”
“Well, yeah- despite everything, you've got your life on track, you're very successful at your job and you've got a lovely group of friends and a person whom you're gonna spend your life with.” She presses a kiss on his cheek: “I'm so happy for you, my darling.”
Steve beams at her words: “Thank you, Mom!” He lets his gaze wander around the room: “Yeah, it turned out alright, didn't it,” he mutters. “Aw, look at the person I'm gonna spend my life with...” He regards his sleeping partner affectionately. “Ain't he cute... He's amazing, don't you think?”
Doris, who barely knows Danny, laughs quietly: “I can imagine.”
Steve takes her hand: “Come on, lets sit down. I'll tell you about him, okay?”
“Okay...” Even though it's probably only due to the alcohol, she's grateful that Steve is opening up to her like this. So she sits down with him and listens to all the reasons why Danno is the most amazing person on the planet.
At one point, Grace gently shakes Danny awake.
He blinks, momentarily confused, but Grace smiles at him: “You fell asleep, Danno. Don't you want to go to bed?”
“What time is it?”
“Nearly midnight. I'm going to bed as well.”
“Okay. Give me a hand?”
As Grace pulls Danny to his feet, Steve appears at his shoulder and presses a kiss on his neck: “Hello, Mr McGarrett.”
“What- what? No, we didn't talk about names yet and I don't think-”
“Danno,” Grace laughs, “he's just yanking your chain.”
Steve, who is visibly aglow with happiness, now presses his cheek against Danny's: “You bet we're gonna talk names!”
Danny catches a whiff of the booze on his breath: “Yeah, yeah, okay,” he says, quickly pressing a kiss on Steve's cheek: “I'm going to bed. Please try not to fall on me later.”
Because Grace is listening, Steve just about manages not to say that he'll most definitely try to fall onto Danny later. Instead, he grins: “G'night, Danno. Daniel. McGarrett.”
Danny just rolls his eyes, then waves goodbye to everyone and slowly walks up the stairs with Grace.
It's almost three a.m. when Steve finally crawls into bed. Flippa broke out an excellent scotch whisky at one point of which they somehow emptied about half the bottle. Now everything's spinning slightly, and Steve nearly crashed into the doorframe when he came in. He turns on the light, aims for the bed and manages not to miss the mattress. Still in his clothes, he slides under the blanket and nestles close to Danny, who stirs: “S'eve?”
“Yeah,” Steve giggles. “'s me, your fiancé. Mr. and Mr. McGarrett.” He giggles again.
“Oh boy,” Danny mutters. “You're completely wasted.”
“No,” Steve beams at him. “Right as rain, see?”
“Yes, I see, because you left the ceiling light on, you big, drunk goof. Go and turn it off, will you?”
Steve turns his face into the pillow: “Nah, can't get up.”
With a long-suffering sigh, Danny extricates himself from Steve's grip, turns the light off and lies back down. Immediately, Steve's snuggles up to him, his face against Danny's throat: “You're so cute, my darling,” he slurs, eyes already closed. “You're always so cute. And I just love your little tushie... Been watchin' it many times... Think Kono noticed...”
Oh boy... Danny puts his arm around him and closes his eyes as well, despite the rather overwhelming smell of alcohol.
When Danny gets up a few hours later, Steve sleeps like the dead, snoring audibly. Grinning, Danny opens a window before he goes downstairs. He's greeted by the heavenly scent of coffee: Doris is already up. He joins her at the table in the dining area, where she is sitting and reading the papers; she obviously has already cleaned up a bit.
“Good morning,” she says, eyeing him over the rim of her reading glasses; she seems amused. “Steve's still out of it, I take it?”
“Comatose,” Danny replies, putting his coffee mug on the table and sitting down.
Doris smiles: “He's really happy. I should thank you.”
Danny cocks his head, contemplating this: “I'm sorry for cuffing you,” he eventually says.
Doris waves it aside: “That's okay. Given my history...”
“Yeah.” Danny takes a sip of his coffee.
Doris takes up her mug but puts it down again: “I should probably have the talk with you.”
“Which talk?”
“The talk where I'm telling you that you better not hurt my son- ever- or else.”
“Huh.” Danny purses his lips. “Well, you could. But that would be a bit rich, coming from you. If I may say so.”
Doris smiles weakly, shaking her head: “You're right,” she says softly. “You could probably never hurt him as much as I already have.” She blinks: “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.”
Danny shrugs, ignoring her last remark: “I wouldn't say so. Steve is much more vulnerable than he likes people to think.”
“That's true.”
“But he's not alone. And he's got people watching out for him, or so I hear.” He gives her a crooked smile, referring to how she kept Steve from being arrested by the U.S. Marshals as well, however she did it.
She looks at him attentively for a moment: “I'm sorry I couldn't help you as well.”
“It's okay. I'm glad they didn't get their hands on Steve.”
Doris' expression is unfathomable as she regards him now: “Still,” she just says.
Right then, light feet are tapping down the stairs, and a moment later, Grace comes in.
“Good morning, Monkey,” Danny reaches for her and she steps into his one-armed hug, kissing him: “Good morning, Danno. Good morning, Doris.”
“Good morning, darling,” Doris says, her smile genuine.
Grace leans against her dad; he thinks she's grown again since he last saw her.
“Did you sleep well, Monkey?” he asks her. She nods: “Yeah. I like that you can hear the ocean.”
Inwardly, Danny grins; good thing Steve didn't hear this.
“Would you like to go for a swim with me?” Doris asks her. “We can take Mary's old boogie board out if you like.”
Beaming, Grace turns towards her father: “May I, Danno?”
“Of course. You swimsuit's still hanging in the bathroom.”
“Thank you!” She all but flies upstairs to get changed.
Doris gets up as well: “Don't worry, we'll be careful.”
“I know.” Danny gives her a smile. Since Doris, if she'll actually be around, is going to be one of Grace's accumulated grandparents, she ought to get to know her a little better, after all. He's sure that it'll do Steve's heart good, too.
Once Doris and Grace have left the house, Danny pads over to the couch and lies down, looking at the ceiling and thinking back to the first time he was in this house. Back then, he didn't even know Steve and this place was nothing but a crime scene to him. He wonders how Steve's life would have played out if his mother hadn't faked her death; they'd probably never have met. Because of that alone, he should be grateful to her, but he finds that part of him still resents her for all the pain she's caused his partner. Well; she's here now, and from the delighted squealing sounds he can hear, she's currently having a good time with his daughter. He's really glad that Grace is taking these new developments so well; considering all that's happened in the past few years, they've really come a long way since then, all of them.
He is pulled out of these musings when Steve appears, looking like the walking dead. He staggers towards the couch and lowers himself onto the edge next to Danny's hip with a groan.
“Hey,” Danny says. “What are you doing up, Babe?”
“Had to pee.” Steve rests his head in his hands: “God, what did I do?”
Danny grins: “That's a very good question.”
Steve groans again, turning around to his partner: “No good morning kiss?”
“You're probably totally unaware of how you're smelling right now,” Danny counters, but then he leans towards his partner and kisses him nevertheless: “Good morning, Mr. Williams.”
Steve squints at him: “Huh?”
Danny feigns surprise: “Don't you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“You told me you had been thinking about it and decided that you wanted to take my name. You said 'Steven J. Williams' had a nice ring to it. You even announced it to the group.”
Steve, whose recollection of the previous night is foggy at best, frowns: “Really?”
“Yeah. So no need for Aneurysm Face.” Danny smiles serenely.
Steve looks at him with narrowed eyes for a while: “You're kidding me.”
Danny laughs quietly: “What took you so long, Babe?”
Steve can't but grin: “Putz,” he says. “Wow, I've always wanted to use that.”
With a yawn, he pushes against Danny and begins to stretch out next to him. It's a bit cramped, but Danny enjoys having Steve so close: “I vote we both keep our names, just so you know.”
“Aha...” Steve closes his eyes again: “Prob'ly best...”
Danny presses a kiss on his hair: “Love you,” he says softly.
“You too,” Steve mutters, burying his nose in Danny's shirt. “Danno...”
When Doris and Grace come back in a while later, both Danny and Steve have dozed off.
Grace presses a hand on her mouth to subdue a giggle: “I'll take a picture,” she whispers and sneaks upstairs to get her phone.
Doris looks at her retreating back with a smile, then turns her gaze to her son. She will have to leave again soon, but this time, she'll go with a lighter heart: he'll be alright, after all.
The End
Notes:
I'm not sure if the "J." in Steve's name actually stands for "John", but it'd make sense, after all.

20mcdanno_fanatic10 on Chapter 1 Mon 26 Feb 2018 05:45PM UTC
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itsmrvlxf1 on Chapter 2 Thu 26 Aug 2021 11:55AM UTC
Last Edited Thu 26 Aug 2021 11:55AM UTC
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RainyDays49 on Chapter 2 Thu 26 Aug 2021 02:54PM UTC
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