Chapter Text
A few days have passed since New Year’s Eve. The party they had had with all their friends had been incredible and Isak can still dwell on the memories. He has spent most of his days studying for the upcoming exam that will take place in a week. He and Sana have met up almost every day. Either in the library or at either of their homes. It feels surreal that another semester has passed and he is one step closer to becoming a doctor. So much has happened in the year that has passed and in many ways it has been exhausting and full of heartache. But it has also been the best year in Isak’s life.
Even stepping into Isak’s life almost a year ago had turned everything upside down. Isak’s view on himself and his perception of love had all changed because of Even. Before Even he used to be scared of letting people in, of being vulnerable and relying on others.
Now he feels more open with his feelings and because of that everything is so much easier. He feels safe and loved and at ease with himself. It’s easier to fall asleep at night and the days where he wakes up to a racing and fluttering heart are few and far between. He doesn’t get that suffocating feeling anymore. He rarely feels too sick to eat breakfast. Most importantly he feels truly happy.
During the year he has not only met Even but also Eskild, and deepened his friendship with Mahdi and Sana as well as found his way back to his mother. The biggest difference from a year ago is that he is not drowning in his own loneliness. He is not fighting to just stay above water anymore.
He enjoys the banter he has with Sana every study session, they’re both too stubborn to admit when they are wrong. He loves spending his time at the apartment with Eskild on days when he is not with Even and loves that he has a second home with Even and Ellie.
-
The day before Magnus has to go back to Bergen all of the boys hang out together at Mahdi’s place. They haven’t had time to see each other since the New Year’s party since they all have been busy with other things. Even is having dinner with his parents so it is just the four of them, much to Magnus’ disappointment. Since the party Magnus has become a little too fond of Even for Isak’s liking and while he is happy that they all get along, he wishes Magnus would just stop talking about Even all the time.
“It’s a shame Even couldn’t make it,” Magnus says ten minutes after the pizzas arrive and Isak rolls his eyes with a deep sigh.
“What?” Magnus asks. “ Bet you wish he was here too!”
“Yeah, but only if it meant you would shut up about him!” Isak says with a smirk though Magnus is right of course.
He always wants to be with Even and even if he saw him this morning he still misses him after a long day of not seeing each other.
“I have a question…” Magnus starts and takes a bite of his pizza.
“Why does that not surprise me?” Mahdi says sarcastically.
Magnus grimaces in Madhi’s direction before he continues.
“Like who is the man and who is the woman in your relationship?” he asks and looks at Isak.
“Man…” Jonas says tiredly and covers his face with his hand.
“What?” Magnus asks. “I don’t mean to be rude. Like just for fun.”
“Well, who is the man and woman in your and Cecile’s relationship?” Isak asks, ignoring the dumbness of Magnus’ question.
Magnus blushes slightly and looks down.
“Seriously, though,” he says and offers a tiny smile. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“It’s cool…” Isak says.
When it is time to leave a few hours later he and Jonas walk towards the bus stop together. It feels like it has been ages since they hung out just the two of them.
“I’ve got a new job,” Jonas informs him as they walk through the cold night.
“Oh really? That’s great,” Isak says. “Where?”
“Snowboard instructor in Trysil. I applied months ago and assumed I didn’t get it but then they called the other day and asked if I was available at short notice. Because one of their instructors had hurt his knee or something. I don’t know all the details. But it would be for the skiing season. Starting in a week.”
Isak smiles.
“That’s awesome,” he says. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you!”
“So does that mean that you are staying in Norway for now?” Isak asks carefully.
He wants to be close to Jonas but at the same time he knows how much Jonas wants to travel and experience things. Living in California was just one of those things Jonas wanted to do.
“For the next months at least,” Jonas says. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll try to save money and travel again this summer. But then I think I might apply for uni this autumn. Journalism if I get in. Or maybe a teacher, actually.”
“I think that would be great,” Isak says
“Yeah, I hope so,” Jonas say. “Anyway you all need to come and visit in Trysil”
“Definitely,” Isak agrees. “I don’t think I have skied since I was there with your family. Maybe once when we went to Nissen. But like it was ages ago.”
“And you sucked back then, too,” Jonas laugh. “Like when you fell of the ski lift. That was the funniest thing. And when you went into that tree and my dad had to help you out.”
Isak laughs loudly.
“Yeah, I remember that! I had bruises for weeks afterwards.”
“Have you heard anything from Lea, by the way?” Jonas asks.
Isak shakes his head.
He has not heard from her at at all since she texted him the day before the new year but he assumes that she is back in Australia by now. He hadn’t bothered to reply. Just deleted her message after spending too much time feeling angry and upset about it. Now he is just going to go back to pretending like she doesn’t exist. He knows it is not healthy and that he will have to deal with it sooner or later. He knows that Even is right and had been right the first time all those months ago when he suggested Isak get help from someone. It’s just, everything is good now. He is happy and he doesn’t want to ruin everything by digging up things from his past that will just make him sad. He can push the thoughts of his dad and Lea to the back of his head and only allow them to surface at his weakest and darkest moments.
He has talked about it a lot with Even, and being more open about his feelings has definitely helped him put everything behind him.
“No really,” he says and gives Jonas a weak smile. “But I try to not think about her too much.”
Jonas nods.
“She’s just not that important in my life,” Isak mutters, his stomach twisting slightly. “I mean it still hurts sometimes but I don’t really need her in my life to be happy. And I realise that I can choose how much she gets to affect me. Or not choose but like… you know. I’m in a good place now in my life. And I think that makes it possible to just ignore her if I want to.”
“Yeah, I understand,” Jonas says. “It is good though. That you are doing so great. With Even and everything. I can see how much you love him and how happy the two of you are together.”
“Yeah, but it is more than that,” Isak says. “It is also that I’m more open with things and that I’m spending more time with people I actually like. Even is a huge part of that of course but it also feels like I have so much more in my life now compared to a year ago. Because I’m not trying to push everyone away anymore”
-
Both Even and Eskild are at home when Isak arrives home from studying with Sana at her place. It is already past eight but when Sana’s mother had asked if he wanted to stay for dinner he couldn’t say no. From the living room he can hear their distinct laughter. It makes him feel warm inside that he and Even can have this. Isak has a key to Even’s apartment and Even has a key to Isak’s and Eskild’s. A year ago Isak would never have dreamed about this. Even six months ago when Isak’s heart was broken beyond repair he never could have imagined having Even back in his life and their love being stronger than before they broke up. It feels like they are though, despite the time that it has taken them to find their way to the place where they are now.
“Hey, Isak,” Eskild says as Isak enters the living room.
The two of them are sitting on the couch, Even balancing a plate on his knees. Eskild has already finished eating and his plate is sitting on the coffee table.
“Hi!” Isak says and walks up to the sofa and sits down next to Eskild.
“Hey, baby,” Even says. “There is food in the kitchen if you want some?”
Isak shakes his head.
“Sana’s mom cooked for us,” he explains.
“Oh I’m so jealous,” Even exclaims. “Her cooking is amazing.”
Isak nods with a small smirk.
“I’m so full though,” he groans. “I ate way too much!”
They end up watching a documentary about Mount Everest on the TV and eat popcorn that Eskild pops in the microwave. For being a Friday it is pretty low key but it is also what Isak has come to love. It is also a nice contrast compared to a year ago. Back then he would either book himself full of work during the weekends, or drink senselessly with Nils and Alfred at some random party.
He has barely seen them in ages. Apart from talking to them at uni he doesn’t really spend time with them anymore. They have drifted apart but to be honest Isak doesn’t miss them that much. Their friendship had been shallow and frail to begin with and now that he has found others that he is more comfortable around it doesn’t feel like he has lost anything. They probably don’t miss him either.
“We have plans for tomorrow,” Even says suddenly.
Eskild has gone to the bathroom and Isak has taken the opportunity to take his place on the couch next to Even. He has thrown his arms around Even’s chest and leans his head against Even’s shoulder.
“What?” Isak asks curiously “What are we doing?”
“You’ll see,” Even smirks, clearly enjoying the teasing and keeping things a secret.
“No tell me,” Isak pouts and tries his best to persuade Even to tell him by just giving him his best puppy dog eyes.
“Never,” Even says. “You will see tomorrow. But if I tell you now you will back down and we can’t have that.”
“This is not helping, you know,” Isak mutters. “I could easily make plans with Jonas or Sana if I want.”
“You won’t though,” Even says. “You are too curious about it already. I know how you work.”
Even is right of course. As much as Isak is pouting about it he can’t help but feel curious about what is about to happen.
-
“Why are we stopping at an abandoned parking lot?” Isak asks suspiciously as Even stops the car at a huge parking lot.
There is no one else here as the company is only in business on weekdays and the whole parking lot is empty.
“Get out of the car,” Even says happily.
“Why?” Isak says dumbly.
“Because you are driving dumbass,” Even says and opens the car door, ready to switch seats with Isak.
Isak quickly places his hand on Even’s arm to stop him from leaving.
“No, I can’t” he says. “I have never done it before.”
“I know. Which is why we are doing it today! It will be fine. We’ll stay at the parking lot where nothing can happen.”
“I don’t know, Even” Isak says. “I’m not even sure my permit is valid. I took it ages ago.”
The summer before he started Nissen his dad had forced him to take the mandatory traffic course so that Isak could start practising. Isak had not been keen on doing it. Especially not if it meant having to have his dad as an instructor. But then his dad had left before they could actually practice for the first time and Isak had never even sat behind the wheel.
“It should be valid,” Even smiles. “I recently went through the procedure with Ellie so….”
“I don’t want to,” Isak says. “I’m not going to be any good!”
Even puts a hand on his leg in a comforting motion and moves his hand on Isak’s knee.
“Of course you are not. No one is the first time around. That is why you need to practice. It’s just for fun though baby, If you are not ready for it we don’t have to do it obviously. I’m not forcing you to do it. It’s just because I told you I would teach you how to drive.”
Isak can feel a smile spread on his face and he leans forward and kisses Even on the lips.
“You are so romantic,” he says. “I still don’t like this idea though.”
“I think you will be fine,” Even says. “Why don’t you just sit behind the wheel. And then we can take things step by step. What do you say?”
Even gives him an encouraging smile.
“Okay,” Isak mumbles. “Ten minutes max though.”
“Deal,” Even says.
Driving is just as terrible as Isak had imagined and he sucks at it. The idea of him being in control of a massive vehicle terrifies him and his legs are shaking so badly he can’t even get the car to start rolling on any of his attempts. Even is patient and calm through it all but after 20 minutes Isak has had enough. They have driven around the parking lot a few times but it has done little to stop Isak from feeling like he has zero control over the situation and he doubts he will want to drive again anytime soon. He manages to make a somewhat smooth stop before he kills the engine and gets out of the car.
“Have you had enough?” Even asks softly.
“Yeah,” Isak mutters as he leans on the car door and peeks inside the car “I want to go home now.”
“Of course,” Even says. “We can go home.”
Even takes place behind the wheel again and Isak sits in the passenger side as they leave the parking lot behind.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Even says. “Ellie did much worse on her first try…”
Isak knows Even is trying to cheer him up but he still can’t help but feel a little defeated. He had not expected to suddenly love driving but even after 20 minutes he hadn’t been able to relax even the slightest.
“I sucked,” he concludes. “Thanks for trying though…”
Even smiles, eyes focused on the road.
“We can try again some other time if you want to. But if you don’t that is fine too.”
“Yeah, maybe later,” Isak says with a small smile.
-
Isak has his final exam a few days later. He feels grateful for all the hours he and Sana have spent studying for it because even if the questions are hard he feels like he can answer most of them. Sana is waiting for him outside of the exam room when he leaves, feeling happy and relieved that the five hours are finally over. Now he has a few days off before the next semester starts and he plans to spend his free time just relaxing. He doesn’t even have any shifts at work planned.
“How did it go?” Sana asks.
“Nailed it, obviously” Isak says confidently and walks up to her. “How did you do?”
“Great,” she retorts. “Probably better than you!”
“Right,” Isak says with a smile as the two of them head for the exit.
“Isn’t it cool though that we are even closer to becoming doctors,” Sana says. “Like I’ve always wanted it but even when I started at uni it felt like it was so far away. But this year has gone by so fast, hasn’t it?”
Isak nods quietly. It really has.
“I’m glad we are buddies again,” Sana continues.
“Best buddies,” Isak corrects her with a smile. “Yeah me too. I can’t imagine a better person to study with. Even if I’m better than you!”
“You are not better than me,” Sana snorts. “I’ve passed all my exams this year on my first try.”
“Wow, you really are the best one,” Isak laughs. “I feel so grateful to be able to learn from you.”
“You should,” Sana jokes. “Anyway do you want to grab a coffee or something to eat? I’m starving.”
“Yeah sure,” Isak says. “That would be nice.”
-
Isak spends his days off mostly chilling and taking it easy just like he had planned. A few days after the new semester has started Isak can’t help but notice that Even is acting a little suspiciously. He is absent-minded when they have dinner together and seems to be hiding something from Isak. When Isak asks him about it he acts as if nothing is going on or he just smirks secretly and laughs when Isak pouts. Three days later though, Even wakes him up by telling him to get ready for a surprise.
He still won’t tell Isak anything as they eat breakfast and spend hours on the couch together, and for a while Isak suspects that Even is just teasing him. Until the doorbell rings a little after 2 pm and Mutta is standing outside with a bouquet of red roses in his hands when Isak opens the door.
“These are for you,” he says and hands Isak the roses with a cheerful smile.
“What?” Isak asks confused and turns around and looks at Even who is walking up behind him. “What are you planning?” he asks.
“You’ll see,” Even says and hugs him from behind. “Mutta is going to be our driver. Just get dressed, baby.”
Five minutes later the the two of them are sitting in the backseat of Mutta’s car. Even has covered Isak’s eyes with a scarf so that Isak can’t see where they are going.
“Where are we going?” Isak asks.
“You will see,” Even whispers once again.
“I don’t want anymore surprises,” Isak pouts. “Last time I really didn’t like it!”
“I promise you will like this one,” Even whispers and kisses Isak’s cheek.
Mutta has been driving for what feels like at least 20 minutes but it just feels like they are going in circles. Isak has no idea where they are.
After a few more minutes Mutta stops the car and Isak can hear Even open the door and walk around the car. Seconds later he opens the door on Isak’s side and finds Isak’s hand.
“Thank you for your help,” Even says to Mutta as he helps Isak out of the car and holds onto him.
“Yeah, thank you, Mutta,” Isak says.
“No worries,” Mutta says.
Even shuts the car door and then guides Isak forward. After only a few meters he stops again before he opens a door and ushers Isak inside.
“Watch out for the step,” he says.
The smell of paint hits Isak’s nose once they are inside and his curiosity spikes.. Even walks behind Isak, hands covering Isak’s eyes despite the scarf already doing the job. Then he comes to a sudden stop.
“I’ll take the scarf off now but you can’t peek, okay?”
“Okay,” Isak smiles. “I won’t peek!”
Even unties the scarf and Isak keeps his eyes shut. He can hear Even move around in the background.
“Okay,” Even says, voice coming from across the room. “You can open your eyes now.”
Isak opens his eyes and at first he has no idea where they are. The room is messy and full of renovating stuff. Even is standing on the other side of the room, smiling brightly. As Isak continues looking around he realises where they are.
“How?” he says, looking back at Even in slight chock.
“I walked past here a few weeks ago and they were working here. I met the new owner and then I came up with the idea that I wanted to take you here. I managed to persuade him to let me borrow this place for an hour.”
Isak looks towards the door that leads to the kitchen and the area that used to be the bar. Most of the furniture is gone now. Even the bar and the counter. The walls are painted in a light, almost white and even the floor has been replaced. Still this is undoubtedly the restaurant where Isak used to work. This is where he and Even met.
“You are incredible,” Isak manages. “And very extra. I can’t believe you did this. Like how did they agree on it even?”
Even holds up his finger to his mouth and Isak stops talking.
“This day a year ago I saw you standing exactly where you are standing right now. I sat right here watching you work, and you were the prettiest person ever and I just knew I had to talk to you,” Even says and takes a few steps towards Isak.
Isak smiles as Even walks closer and grabs hold of his hands.
“Up close you were even more breathtaking and I couldn't take my eyes off you. You were so endearing and hot in your uniform.The way you talked and blushed and everything about you made me so nervous. I remember making a fool of myself talking about Mikael and him being a lightweight and I kept thinking you must think I was stupid.”
Isak smiles at the memory.
“I was so flustered,” he says. “You were so handsome coming over to me and when you asked me for my recommendation I could hardly think of anything…”
“But you still made me come back,” Even smiles. “And you recommended me the Crème Brûlée later that night.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Isak says.
Even runs his thumb against Isak’s knuckles and looks down at their hands.
“I still can’t take my eyes off you,” he says. “You are still the most gorgeous, pretty and hot person I have ever met. And you are also the sweetest, and funniest and nicest person in the world.”
They lean their foreheads together and rub their noses against each other. Isak can feel Even’s breaths on his face and closes his eyes. Even with the smell of paint in his nose and the messiness of this place it is still the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for him.
He can feel Even move his arms and wrap his arms around Isak’s waist so he wraps his own arms around Even’s neck and hugs him tightly.
“This year has been so incredible, despite everything we have been through. At the beginning I was just so excited that you even wanted to talk to me. That you showed interest in me. But I was also scared that it wasn’t going to work even if my heart wanted you from the moment I met you. It felt like there were so many hurdles and it was so scary thinking that it might not work out. It feels stupid now when I think back to how scared I was that it would not work out. That I was too old for you and that people would never approve. But look at us now. My friends love you and yours have not tried to kill me yet. And they are all getting along and no one cares how old we are. You have made me the happiest I have been in a long time and you always amaze me. I can’t imagine living without you and I’m so happy with what we have right now and I would not change it for anything in the world. I can’t believe how lucky I got that I got you. That you wanted to be with me and still do despite everything I’ve put you through…” Even mumbles into Isak’s neck.
“Don’t…” Isak whispers. “I love you so much. No matter what happened between us. And I’ll always love you and what we have. Nothing can change that. You are the best thing that happened to me. You saved me. You made me feel whole when I had spent so much time feeling broken. Maybe we didn’t do everything right from the beginning by not being honest and keeping secrets but we are here now, right? And no matter what I’m so happy that I’ve got you and even if I had to go through all of that pain again I would do it. You are the man of my dreams and my best friend. You are my family.”
“Everything is just so perfect and I never want to lose you again,” Even says weakly, his embrace on Isak tightening even further.
“You won’t. As long as you never let me go you will have me forever,” Isak promises.
“I’ll never let you go,” Even whispers.