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Published:
2018-04-03
Completed:
2018-07-10
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If Skyrim Had Chatrooms...

Chapter 10: Taking Bets On How Fucked Delvin Is On A Scale Of Literal To Stabbed With A Pick In The Dick

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Taking Bets On How Fucked Delvin Is On A Scale Of Literal To Stabbed With A Pick In The Dick

<redhead> logged on

redhead: two things.

redhead: first

redhead: why did i think giving all of you chatroom naming privileges was a good idea?

redhead: second

redhead: who’s taking bets?

RUNE: me

redhead: beware the quiet ones i see

TheLegend27: oh hey look what i found and definitely didnt steal from delvin

TheLegend27:  warning.jpg

redhead: well lass, you still can’t lie for shit but you’ve got balls.

redhead: metaphorically speaking.

TheLegend27: i was wondering

TheLegend27: and anyway i didnt actually steal it i left it right where he left it and took a picture

RUNE: you do realize i might have to start taking bets on how fucked you are next, right

TheLegend27: pssssh itll be fine

TheLegend27: anyway rune ill put ten septims on pick in the dick

redhead: same.

RUNE: alright, come by at some point to put down said septims

redhead: i’ll be right there

TheLegend27: can i give them to you tomorrow morning im out on a job in markarth

TheLegend27: markarth sucks by the way

RUNE: nobody’s arguing that

RUNE: cynric could go on for days about cidhna mine

RUNE: and has

<dontvexme> logged on

RUNE: and that’s my cue to leave

<RUNE> logged off

dontvexme: im not sure whether to laugh or stab someone

redhead: how about neither for now

redhead: but have you stabbed delvin with a pick in the dick yet or no?

dontvexme: no

TheLegend27: my septims

TheLegend27: noooooo

dontvexme: not yet

dontvexme: ill gladly do so if i can actually find the man

<xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx> logged on

xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx: Vex why

dontvexme: scroll up

dontvexme: new kid found the warning

dontvexme: now if you can stay well out of my way for the next couple days i might reconsider

TheLegend27: please dont i have ten septims on you stabbing him in the pick with a dick

TheLegend27: i mean stabbing him in the dick with a pick

TheLegend27: ughhh

xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx: Personally I'd rather have neither

TheLegend27: id rather have pick in the dick i have money on that

TheLegend27: nothing personal tho

redhead: lass, you have no shame. at all.

TheLegend27: well yeah

TheLegend27: youre just now figuring this out

<MercerTheFrey> logged on

MercerTheFrey: ...

redhead: so I know this doesnt look good

MercerTheFrey: Save it.

MercerTheFrey: Fifty on stabbed with a pick in the dick.

<MercerTheFrey> logged off

xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx: Oh come on

xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx: Does no one have faith in my romancing ability

dontvexme: nope

Notes:

redhead = Brynjolf

RUNE = Rune

TheLegend27 = Dragonborn

dontvexme = Vex

xX_MasterOfStealth_Xx = Delvin Mallory

MercerTheFrey = Mercer Frey