Chapter Text
“It's not that I want to be here. It's just that I feel less uncomfortable experiencing the torture that is you than I do being in my feminine form as a guy.” Loki said with a shrug.
“I'm touched.” Strange said.
“I'm only very narrowly less uncomfortable with you though. One more move and you're officially worse than gender dysphoria.”
He sighed. “You're already top of my list of worst things ever.”
“I'm worse than Thanos?”
“Yes.” Strange said plainly.
Loki gasped in mock disgust. “This is discrimination.”
Strange narrowed his eyes and said flatly, “what?”
“It's because I'm genderfluid, admit it.”
Strange inhaled deeply. “I'm not going to fall for your attempts to rile me up.” He spun around, his dramatic exit from the room helped by the flaring of his cape.
Though Loki appreciated the theatrics, he rolled his eyes. Digging into his pocket and pulling out his phone (a gift from Stark. Apparently a cell phone was necessary for survival.) and sending a message to Peter.
God (dess/dex) of Stories: Update: Doctor Strange is transphobic
Spider-Child: ???
God (dess/dex) of Stories: He said I'm worse than Thanos.
God (dess/dex) of Stories: It's because Thanos is cis and I'm not, I assure you.
Spider-Child: smsjsjsjs valid
Spider-Child: dr. strange is cancelled
God (dess/dex) of Stories: What is ‘smsjsjsjs’?
Spider-Child: keyboard smashing
Spider-Child: when you feel an emotion that you can't describe, you just press random buttons
God (dess/dex) of Stories: skajsnshshshe I hate Strange.
Spider-Child: they grow up so fast :’)
Spider-Child: soon you'll be an honorary member of gen z
Spider-Child: remind me to get you a twitter
God (dess/dex) of Stories: What's that?
Spider-Child: you'll see … ;)
God (dess/dex) of Stories: That's terrifying.
Spider-Child: why are you at doc. strange’s house anyways??
Spider-Child: if you hate him so much
Spider-Child: allegedly
God (dess/dex) of Stories: Allegedly? What are you trying to imply?
Spider-Child: i just think you talk about him way too much for someone you ‘hate’
Spider-Child: and you went to his house alone
Spider-Child: and you're avoiding telling me why you're there
God (dess/dex) of Stories: JSJSUSHSHSDHDHDHD
God (dess/dex) of Stories: SMSJSHSBDHDUEHSNDHSHSSNSNSHSHS
God (dess/dex) of Stories: I'm disgusted.
Spider-Child: you didn't deny it
God (dess/dex) of Stories: I deny it now! I'm at the sanctorum to see if any of the magical items here would be of use in our battle.
Spider-Child: sure
God (dess/dex) of Stories: After I get Thanos, I'm coming for you. Your friend status is revoked.
Spider-Child: i’m your friend??! :)
God (dess/dex) of Stories: Not anymore.
Spider-Child: :(
God (dess/dex) of Stories: I'm leaving this conversation before you imply I have romantic intentions with more of my enemies. Do you believe me to be a jealous ex-lover of the mad titan? Do you believe that I, Curator of the great vault of Asgard, engage in kinky mind sex with Ebony Maw?
Spider-Child: XP gross
God (dess/dex) of Stories: Let it be know that I'm rolling my eyes at you and am about to turn off my phone in the most dramatic manner.
And he did. Turn off his phone that is. He didn't exactly do it dramatically, he just turned off his phone and put it in his pocket.
Loki left the room to find Strange, and found the magician studying a heavy tome in his library.
“Strange.” Loki said to catch his attention.
The wizard looked up, unimpressed. “What?”
“I want to remind you to remember your duty to the time stone in the upcoming battle.”
Strange frowned. “I don't need to be reminded.”
“I just need you to make sure.” Loki insisted. “I need to know that you won't let sentiment get to you. You know, despite how difficult it may be for you to face it, that neither your life nor anyone else’s matters more than keeping the time stone safe, and keeping it on Earth.”
“I'm aware. You don't need to remind me. I'm not being friendly with the Avengers for a reason.”
“Oh, is that it? I thought the brooding was part of your natural charm.”
Loki looked around the library, finding a great many trinkets on top of shelves and pillars. He supposed he should grab something so Peter couldn't make more jokes about him and Strange.
He spotted a two-finger ring that he'd seen before on Strange’s belt. Looking back at the magician, he indeed saw it's twin at his hip.
He gingerly picked up the ring, wary of wards, and held it up for Strange to see. “What's this?”
“A sling ring,” he replied, “It's what I use to create portals.”
Loki simply hummed and placed the ring back in its place. Or rather, he made it look like he did. He left a small illusion in its place and quickly pocketed the ring. He could keep up the illusion at least until he left the sanctum, he could worry about Strange noticing its disappearance then.
He continued through the library for a while and came across a seemingly normal coat rack. The only thing on it was a long length of fabric in a rather garish yellow colour.
“What's this?” He asked aloud.
A portal opened by his side and Strange stepped out. “A sash.”
Loki rolled his eyes at the unnecessary use of magic. “You could've walked. I wasn't that far away.” He looked to the sash again. “What does it do though?”
“It gets longer, and can grapple things. It also defies gravity a little. Not as much as the cloak of levitation, but enough to make it extend upwards. It doesn't break either.” He shrugged. “It's a nice accessory, but with the cloak of levitation, it's unnecessary.”
Loki kept his eyes on the hideous yellow ribbon and knew that wearing it would be the most horrifying fashion choice anyone ever made.
He wanted it.
He had decided that he could absolutely work the accessory (better than Strange could anyway) and honestly, defeating Thanos was nothing compared to his motivation to get this terrible terrible thing.
“Can I have it?”
“You want the sash?” Strange asked.
“Well, yes. No one’s using it, and it's not like you're handing me the time stone or something. It's barely magical.There's no harm in letting me have it.”
Strange seemed to decide that whatever fight his disagreement would cause wasn't worth it. He sighed. “Sure, whatever. Don't kill any of the Avengers with it.”
He didn't even finish the conversation, just opened another portal and left with his cloak billowing around him in the non-existent wind.
Loki grinned and grabbed the sash off the rack. He was only wearing a plain black t-shirt (he decided to stick to Midgardian clothes for a while, to keep them as comfortable with his presence as possible) but decided the look would work just as well.
He wrapped the long sash around his waist several times but left some length in the ends. He tried to reach out to the magic in the belt, and in response the ends floated about lazily in the air.
If Thor was here, he'd kill him for his fashion choices.
In other words, the look was perfect.
Luckily for her cover, she was back to being a girl in just a few hours (Strange wouldn't let her have anything else and she didn't want to test her luck stealing anything else - so the ring and the sash remained her only treasure) and was back in the Avengers facility.
She met with Peter soon after, and greeted him immediately by pointing at her new accessory and saying, “belt.”
“It looks really good.” Peter said earnestly. “Very mystical.”
“Did I miss anything when I was with Strange?”
“Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Stark just started a conference call with the U.N. Commission to ask what they can legally do about Thanos.” Peter said. “I'm not allowed to go to the meeting.”
She was sure the U.N. Commission was something important but what caught her attention was the first name Peter said. “Rhodey’s name is Colonel Rhodes?”
“Colonel is his… title. But yeah.”
Loki had suspected that Rhodey was a nickname since the man had introduced himself to her with it. She didn't want to make things awkward by asking him his name again, or telling him to be more formal. She felt... uncomfortable using a name she suspected was for casual use with a man who clearly held some sort of authority and was merely an acquaintance as of yet. Years of being royalty didn't just die out, Loki always used as formal a greeting as possible. Using first names was reserved for friends.
“I've been avoiding using his name for so long, you have know idea.”
Peter laughed. “You couldn't just asked him for his name. What's wrong with Rhodey?”
“It reeks of informality. I'm the royal curator, I don't do informal.”
“You call me Peter.” He said. “When you could call me Spider-Man. Or Parker.”
Loki shrugged. “I only use first names in two instances; to mock people in some regard, or when I'm familiar with people.”
Peter smiled. “And which am I?”
Loki considered letting the question hang in the air, but she found herself matching Peter's smile. “I suppose you must be my friend.”