Chapter Text
(7:45 am) loverrboy to keef the furry
loverrboy: YO
loverrboy: SO MR SENDAK JUST WALKED INTO CORANS CLASS
loverrboy: AND CORAN DEADASS CALLED HIM “SENDICK”
loverrboy: TO HIS FACE
loverrboy: IM LIVING
hunkalunk: it's true, I was there
pidgeotto: not all heroes wear capes
loverrboy: i wish I could've gotten his face on camera
daddy: Lance, you shouldn't be on your phone in class.
loverrboy: you're in class too don't @ me
pidgeotto: coran is a god
spacePrincess: p r a i s e h i m
loverrboy: I weep at his alter
daddy: altar***
loverrboy: YA KNOW WHAT SHIRO
loverrboy: >:(((((
pidgeotto: shiro stop bullying Lance
pidgeotto: we're trying to worship coran smh
loverrboy: smh my head
pidgeotto has changed the chat name to PRAISE CORAN
spacePrincess: why is shiro only active in the chat when hes bullying lance????
spacePrincess: coincidence?
pidgeotto: I THINK NOT
existential.crisis: what did I walk in to?
existential.crisis: its too early for this shit
loverrboy: it's never too early to respect coran keefy
pidgeotto: coran deserves better than this
existential.crisis: I have no words
loverrboy: sounds like something a degenerate from sixth period would say
existential.crisis: what's wrong with sixth period??????
loverrboy: you guys are always disrespecting Mr. Coran
loverrboy: there's a reason your period can't eat in his class anymore
existential.crisis: how do you even know that???
pidgeotto: he literally has it written on the board
pidgeotto: which you would know
pidgeotto: IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION IN HIS CLASS
loverrboy: >:((((
spacePrincess: smh my head
hunkalunk: Lance can you please pay attention
hunkalunk: I don't want to have to lend you my notes later
daddy: so you go on and on about respecting Mr. Coran and yet you're on your phone in his class
daddy: the hypocrisy
pidgeotto: SMH MY HEAD
spacePrincess: for shame
loverrboy: this is cyberbullying I'm calling the police
(8:15 am) datboi to PRAISE CORAN
datboi: wow for once the chat was lit
datboi: and I missed it
pidgeotto: cuz u hav the big gey
loverrboy: ha gotteem
datboi: don't make me tell mom
pidgeotto: I fear nothing
datboi: you're deathly afraid of rolly pollies
loverrboy: no shit?????!
loverrboy: BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE
pidgeotto: they're literally devil spawn
hunkalunk: ??????
hunkalunk: they're adorable
pidgeotto: that is not correct
loverrboy: I used to live rolly pollies
loverrboy: love***
loverrboy: I'd hold them in my hand and play with them all the time
pidgeotto: Mr Smith chased me with one once
pidgeotto: he didn't stop until I started crying
daddy: it's true I was there
daddy: I was the TA and was the one who told him you were scared of them
daddy: man junior year was fun
datboi: not all heros wear capes
pidgeotto: I actually hate you Shiro
loverrboy: didn't think it was possible to admire Shiro more
pidgeotto: calm your thirst
hunkalunk: you're so full of shit Lance everyday you have something new to cry about
loverrboy: don't @ me >:(((
pidgeotto: @lance
spacePrincess: @loverrboy
datboi: @lance
hunkalunk: @lance
daddy: @loverrboy
existential.crisis: @lance
sunnyhoney: hey guys!!!
sunnyhoney: oh
sunnyhoney: @lance
loverrboy: I'm calling the police
(10:45 am) spacePrincess to thot squad
spacePrincess: I think I'm in love
lalalalalala: gross
spacePrincess: why is he so perfect????
loverrboy: I stg if this is about lotor I'm going to kermit suicide
lalalalalala: no balls
spacePrincess: yeah it's about lotor
bubbles: ew
bubbles: honey you could do so much better
bubbles: I've known that boy my whole life and he is sooooo not worth it
spacePrincess: don't ruin my dreams
lalalalalala: can we talk about anything BUT lotwhore
loverrboy: I WHEEZED
loverrboy: we could talk about Shiro
loverrboy: and his abs
loverrboy: yummmm
bubbles: ew boys
buttercup: why am I here again?
bubbles: bc I need emotional support
bubbles: too many heteros in this chat
loverrboy: gross heteros
spacePrincess: no one wants to hear about your stupid crush on Shiro, Lance
lalalalalala: SHOTS FIRED
merbitch: I want to hear about Lance's crush on Shiro
loverrboy: THANK YOU PLAX
loverrboy: finally someone who cares about me
merbitch: us hoes gotta stick together
merbitch: then talk mad shit behind each other's backs
loverrboy: marry me
(12:13 pm) pidgeotto to existential.crisis
pidgeotto: so
pidgeotto: we still on for Friday?
existential.crisis: hell yeah
(12:49 pm) existential.crisis to PRAISE CORAN
existential.crisis: I hate sendicks class
loverrboy: I hate your face
loverrboy: lmao
loverrboy: what did he do this time?
existential.crisis: he keeps talking about the tennis team
existential.crisis: and how he's from El Centro
datboi: lmao Shiro and I wrote a song about his obsession with El Centro when we had him last year
daddy: don't remind me
daddy: he was the worst
datboi: have you read “things fall apart” yet?
existential.crisis: nah we're still on the epic of Gilgamesh
datboi: gasundheit
loverrboy: that's what you get for taking regular English >:)))
loverrboy: while you're reading gilga-whatever, we are reading the glass castle
loverrboy: A TRUE work of art
pidgeotto: ohhhhman I LOVE the glass castle
pidgeotto: I hate being a sophomore
datboi: ha nerd
loverrboy: Jeanette deserves better
hunkalunk: FACTS
daddy: we never read that one
daddy: what's it about?
loverrboy: this is gonna take a while
loverrboy: settle down students, your teacher lanceylance has the mic
loverrboy: you may refer to me as papi or big thunda
pidgeotto: shut up and tell us already you big nerd
loverrboy: *ahem*
loverrboy: so the book itself is an autobiography technically
loverrboy: fun fact I had no idea that it was all real until half way through the book
loverrboy: anyway it's about this girl named Jeannette Walls and her suuuper dysfunctional familu
loverrboy: family*
loverrboy: her mom is an artist (and a bitch tbh I hate her guts) and her dad is like a genius and shit
loverrboy: but he's also an alcoholic so rip
loverrboy: and they move around a bunch and do all kinds of crazy shit
loverrboy: it's crazy good but really depressing bc her life just sucks ass bc her larents are assholes who suck at taking care of children
loverrboy: parents*
daddy: sounds interesting
loverrboy: if you want I can lend you my copy?
daddy: yeah I'd like that
daddy: and then we can talk about it together
loverrboy: it's a date ;)
(1:13 pm) pidgeotto added hunkalunk, spacePrincess, existential.crisis, sunnyhoney, and datboi to operation shance
pidgeotto: they are so transparent
spacePrincess: honestly!!!!
hunkalunk: how much you wanna bet they get together before the semester ends?
spacePrincess: too easy
existential.crisis: what is shance?
existential.crisis: im confused
datboi: Keith right now: I am confusion!! America explain!!!
spacePrincess: lmao
pidgeotto: shance is lance and Shiro's ship name
pidgeotto: because those kids are pining like a pine tree
datboi: a Chris pine
pidgeotto: would you stop quoting vines
datboi: vine or death
(1:15 pm) pidgeotto to PRAISE CORAN
pidgeotto: that was gay
hunkalunk: Pidge
sunnyhoney: that book sounds really good
sunnyhoney: Keith and I have the same English period so we're suffering
existential.crisis: kill me
loverrboy: gladly
daddy: Lance
loverrboy: don't @ me
datboi: @lance
loverrboy: not this again
(2:39 pm) loverrboy to hunkalunk
loverrboy: hey do you wanna get milkshakes on the way home?
hunkalunk: bro
hunkalunk: yes
loverrboy: <3
(3:01 pm) loverrboy sent an image to PRAISE CORAN
spacePrincess: are you two
spacePrincess: getting milkshakes
spacePrincess: without us?
loverrboy: read it and weep bitch
(3:59 pm) loverrboy to bring back grumio 2k18
loverrboy: did either of you get the page numbers for the vocab quiz tomorrow?
pidgeotto: wait you're gonna actually study?
loverrboy: lmao no wtf
loverrboy: I just wanna take a pic so I can cheat duhh
pidgeotto: you don't even have to do that tbh
pidgeotto: I don't even write anything down when he gives out quizes
pidgeotto: just tell him you got a perfect score
existential.crisis: I draw dicks on my paper
loverrboy: sometimes I feel bad for cheating though
pidgeotto: dont
pidgeotto: he's the dumbass who trusts a bunch of teenagers to be honest about their test scores
pidgeotto: one time Matt told him he got a 58 on one of the quizes
loverrboy: that's not possible??? his quizes are only like 20 points max
pidgeotto: I know!!! and dunia still gave him a 58 on powerschool
existential.crisis: no shit??????
loverrboy: your brother is a god among men
loverrboy: hey Pidge can I marry your brother?
pidgeotto: we all know you wanna marry his best friend
pidgeotto: don't act like you don't
loverrboy: obviously
loverrboy: Shiro is one sexy motherfucker
pidgeotto: gross
pidgeotto: I've known him since diapers that's just nasty
existential.crisis: how do you think I feel??? he's my COUSIN
loverrboy: ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯
(2:22 am) daddy to PRAISE CORAN
daddy: anyone awake?
loverrboy: unfortunately
daddy: mood
loverrboy: can't sleep?
daddy: nah I've been having really bad pain in my arm that's been keeping me up
daddy: which fucking sucks because it's not even there??? so it's not like I can take some Tylenol and be done with it because technically the pain isn't even real
loverrboy: jesus that sucks
loverrboy: I'm sorry dude
daddy: its fine
daddy: what're you up to?
loverrboy: nm just watching a movie
daddy: what movie?
loverrboy: it's called across the universe
loverrboy: have you seen it?
daddy: don't think so
daddy: what's it about?
loverrboy: it's a musical, actually
loverrboy: it takes place during Vietnam
loverrboy: uhm and it's all Beatles songs so it's a definite bop
daddy: sounds interesting
loverrboy: I uh
loverrboy: I just started it
loverrboy: so if you want
loverrboy: we could maybe
loverrboy: watch it together?
daddy: I'd love to
(5:22 am) sunnyhoney to operation shance
sunnyhoney: did you guys check the group chat?
sunnyhoney: they're adorable <3
Notes:
believe it or not I am afraid of rolly pollies and had that exact conversation with my friends and yes, my P.E. coach did chase me with one after finding out in my sophomore year of high school
the bring back grumio chat is referring to the cambridge Latin 1 textbook, where one of the characters is named grumio. he isn't in the Latin 2 textbook, which is the class that Pidge Keith and lance are in
Chapter 2: salty hunk
Summary:
More shance, more vines, and ungodly musical references. Lotor is finally introduced. Also, angst. oops.
Notes:
so like,,,, just fyi click on the link when it says me.is or else all of that shit wont make sense lol
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(7:26 am) datboi to PRAISE CORAN
datboi: man I am one sleepy boi
spacePrincess: oh worm?
datboi: lol stop
datboi: I stayed up watching a new anime
spacePrincess: weeaboo
datboi: u rite
spacePrincess: unfortunately
datboi: at least I didn't stay up watching a musical
datboi: with my cruuuuuush
spacePrincess: matt
spacePrincess: c'mon
daddy: MATT
datboi: ;))))))
daddy: I hate you
(8:18 am) loverrboy to PRAISE CORAN
loverrboy: SO
loverrboy: CORAN IS TELLING US ABOUT THE NZ MILITARY
loverrboy: I CANT BRETAH
datboi: bretah
loverrboy: shut up holt
loverrboy: ANYWAY APPARENTLY THEY DIDNT AHVE BULLETS FRO TGEIR GUNS
datboi: wow u really suck at typing lmao
loverrboy: SO TGEY HAD TO YELL “BULLETS” DURING PRACTICE INSTEAD OF SHOOTING EACH OTHER
loverrboy: do you wanna fight me matt?
datboi: I want to die
daddy: I heard death
daddy: I'm in
(8:23 am) datboi to daddy
datboi: you wish you were IN lance ;))
daddy: god I hate you
(8:24 am) loverrboy to PRAISE CORAN
loverrboy: death always sounds good
daddy: you always sound good
daddy: I mean
loverrboy: LMAO that was a good one
loverrboy: anyway so yeah coran is a riot
(8:25 am) datboi to daddy
datboi: smooth moves casanova
daddy: shut your face
(8:25 am) sunnyhoney to PRAISE CORAN
sunnyhoney: lol I love coran
sunnyhoney: I have him third period
pidgeotto: at least you don't have him for...
pidgeotto: *shudders*
pidgeotto: sixth period…
loverrboy: the period from hell
hunkalunk: it's fun having him first period because we get his jokes before anyone else
hunkalunk: plus he lets me and Lance sit together, which most teachers don't normally allow
sunnyhoney: why not?
loverrboy: because we're best bros
hunkalunk: Bros for life
loverrboy: broskis
hunkalunk: our bromance is eternal
loverrboy: <3
pidgeotto: stop being gay
pidgeotto: in my good Christian server
datboi: >:(((
loverrboy: but it's no homo
datboi: then that's okay
sunnyhoney: ?
hunkalunk: shh baby just let it happen
loverrboy: Shay do you mind if I date your boyfriend
loverrboy: no homo, of course
sunnyhoney: as long as you wash your hands first
hunkalunk: babe why
sunnyhoney: :)
(9:32 am) merbitch to thot squad
merbitch: are y'all ready for auditions for the fall play today????
spacePrincess: I was born ready baby
lalalalalala: hell yeah plax
bubbles: if we all don't get in, we riot
buttercup: I mean I don't think it's that big of a deal
buttercup: I'm not even auditioning
loverrboy: but you're a lesbian
loverrboy: a thesbian, if you will
buttercup: I'm only doing crew to hang out with ez so
bubbles: aw babe <3
loverrboy: gayyyy
mojojojo: I kinda don't care either
mojojojo: I'm sticking to backstage
merbitch: I take back my statement then
merbitch: are Allura, Lance, Nyma, and Ezor ready for auditions?
loverrboy: I'm so excited
loverrboy: I feel a song coming on
loverrboy: I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL~
bubbles: not now Lance
bubbles: we can't become Christine until we get in
spacePrincess: christiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
lalalalalala: these bmc references are burning my retinas
lalalalalala: please quote something that isn't trash
loverrboy: EXCUSE ME
loverrboy: bmc is actually pretty good????
merbitch: ^^^
lalalalalala: it's alright
lalalalalala: I just think it's too all over the place
bubbles: I'm still bopping to more than survive sorry
bubbles: c-c-c-c’mon c-c-c-c’mon
loverrboy: GO! GO!
lalalalalala: okay more than survive is good
merbitch: I'm still crying over Michael in the bathroom bye
loverrboy: don't EVEN get me started :((((
mojojojo: I'm lost
buttercup: we're bad thesbians
loverrboy: smh my head
(10:03 am) L'oreal to spacePrincess
L'oreal: is this Allura?
spacePrincess: yeah,,,
L'oreal: it's Lotor
L'oreal: about the project for history through film
spacePrincess: oh!
spacePrincess: yeah yeah cool cool
spacePrincess: do you want me to create a group chat with all of us?
L'oreal: that would work, yes
L'oreal: but we can keep texting alone
L'oreal: if you'd like
spacePrincess: o
spacePrincess: definitely :)
(10:05 am) spacePrincess added L'oreal, loverrboy, daddy, datboi, and blaze_it to Film Project
spacePrincess: so obviously this is for the film for HTF
spacePrincess: roll call go!
loverrboy: ya boy lance here ;)
daddy: Shiro. don't ask about the name
L'oreal: Lotor
blaze_it: rolo is present
datboi: Hi my name is Matt with a B and I've been scared of insects my whole life
loverrboy: ｗｈｅｒｅ＇ｓ ｔｈｅ ｂｅｅ？
spacePrincess: oh cool everyone is on
spacePrincess: I'm obviously Allura if you didn't know
spacePrincess: so does anyone have any ideas on who to do the project on
blaze_it: I was absent the day we went over the project
blaze_it: so what are we doing again?
daddy: we have to pick an influential American figure and create a 5 to 10 minute film about their life
loverrboy: can we do al Capone
spacePrincess: no
loverrboy: cmonnnnnnnn
loverrboy: please????????
daddy: no lance
loverrboy: fine
loverrboy: what about a musical
datboi: the only ones with musical talent in this group are you and Allura
datboi: so no
loverrboy: Shiro can sing
daddy: I refuse to do a musical
loverrboy: you're no fun :(
spacePrincess: can we focus?
L'oreal: we could do Nikola Tesla
loverrboy: I read a book with him in it once
loverrboy: he was on the Titanic
loverrboy: it was a weird book
spacePrincess: I'm okay with doing Tesla
spacePrincess: all in favor say aye
loverrboy: ayyy
daddy: aye
datboi: aye aye captain
loverrboy: I can't heeeeaaar youuuuuuu
L'oreal: no SpongeBob please
loverrboy: buzzkill
blaze_it: I mean I'm not picky
blaze_it: so Tesla sounds good I guess
datboi: we can do it about Edison trying to assassinate him
loverrboy: wait for real???
L'oreal: no
loverrboy: stick in the mud
daddy: I thought those were just rumors?
datboi: yeah but thace said we could take creative liberties so
L'oreal: we're not doing our film on a conspiracy
loverrboy: the only thing I know about Tesla is that he loved pigeons
datboi: Tesla loved my sister??????
daddy: lmao
loverrboy: birb boi
L'oreal: *sigh*
(12: 29 am) spacePrincess to RESPECT CORAN
spacePrincess: yo so
spacePrincess: Lotor and I have been talking
spacePrincess: and we actually have a lot in common???
loverrboy: gross
loverrboy: begone THOT
spacePrincess: I don't get why you don't like him??
spacePrincess: he's actually a really cool guy once you talk to him
loverrboy: I just think he's a fake ass hoe noah fence
loverrboy: he's too,,,,, perfect
loverrboy: and his hair makes me angry
spacePrincess: y???
loverrboy: it's so silky and pretty
loverrboy: I wish I had hair like that
pidgeotto: so you're jealous?
loverrboy: nO
loverrboy: I just,,,,,,,,,,,
loverrboy: really love his hair okay whatever it's not a big deal
daddy: are you
daddy: interested in guys with long hair?
loverrboy: I mean kinda?
loverrboy: I've always thought boys with wavy long hair are super cute but
loverrboy: I don't think Lotor's hair is hot I'm just lowkey jealous lol
existential.crisis: so this whole time
existential.crisis: you've been pining after my mullet
loverrboy: NO EW
loverrboy: objectively I think you're attractive don't get me wrong but you're not my type
daddy: so
daddy: what exactly IS your type, then?
(12:36 pm) spacePrincess to operation shance
spacePrincess: he is
spacePrincess: so obvious????????
pidgeotto: ten bucks says Shiro starts growing out his hair mysteriously
datboi: lmao I won't bet against it because I know I'd lose
datboi: this boy is smitten as fuck
existential.crisis: unfortunately
spacePrincess: ten bucks says Lance describes Shiro in perfect detail
(12:37 pm) loverrboy to PRAISE CORAN
loverrboy: uhm
loverrboy: I guess I really like someone in shape
loverrboy: girl wise I'm not very picky, bc girls are amazing tbh
loverrboy: man I love girls
loverrboy: but with boys I like them to be on the bigger side
loverrboy: kinda bulky muscular
loverrboy: and of course I love curly surfer boy hair
loverrboy: like ezra miller hair
spacePrincess: I fucking love ezra miller
datboi: I'm straight as fuck and that boy gets me moist tbh
pidgeotto: I'm ace and he gets my gears going lmao
datboi: gross don't say that
pidgeotto: ?????????
(12:39 pm) datboi to daddy
datboi: you okay?
datboi: you kinda ditched the gc
daddy: I'm thinking about growing out my hair
datboi: OH MY GOD
(12:40 pm) datboi sent an image to operation shance
datboi: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS
spacePrincess: are you serious
pidgeotto: he is so smitten dear god
existential.crisis: why is he like this????
sunnyhoney: I think it's cute <3
(12:42 pm) loverrboy to PRAISE CORAN
loverrboy: I've never met someone who doesn't live Ezra miller
loverrboy: live*
loverrboy: love****
loverrboy: FUCK
datboi: lmao live
loverrboy: do you wanna go?
datboi: hell yeah McClain
loverrboy: meet me at the flagpole, 3 o'clock
datboi: then we can go out on a date
loverrboy: no homo tho
daddy: w hat
datboi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
daddy: >:((((
sunnyhoney: I bet Nyma doesn't like Ezra miller
loverrboy: Nyma doesnt like anyone but rolo
loverrboy: hold up lemme ask her
(12:46 pm) loverrboy to lalalalalala
loverrboy: hey so quick question
loverrboy: do you like Ezra miller
lalalalalala: as an actor or physically?
loverrboy: both
lalalalalala: I think he's attractive
lalalalalala: not really my type but I can appreciate beauty
lalalalalala: but I don't like him.mucb as an actor
loverrboy: ?????????
loverrboy: h o w ?
lalalalalala: he's not very expressive
loverrboy: your standards are way too high
(12:50 pm) loverrboy sent 2 images to PRAISE CORAN
loverrboy: you were right Shay
loverrboy: nyma is a freak of nature
hunkalunk: nymas a bitch
datboi: did hunk just
datboi: swear?????
datboi: IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER????
existential.crisis: I don't know how to feel
spacePrincess: my life is a lie??????
loverrboy: ohhhhh man you guys missed hunks rebel phase
loverrboy: he was savage
pidgeotto: oh shit I forgot about that
pidgeotto: good times
hunkalunk: I can't stand Nyma
hunkalunk: not after she hurt my boo
existential.crisis: Shay?
hunkalunk: haha no
hunkalunk: Lance duh
loverrboy: aw hunk
loverrboy: Nyma apologized
hunkalunk: Lance
hunkalunk: she stole your truck and left you in the middle of nowhere
daddy: wait what?
hunkalunk: sophomore year they dated
hunkalunk: and Nyma basically used him for his car
datboi: thot
loverrboy: she feels bad about it
loverrboy: It doesn't really matter to me
daddy: …
(1:43 pm) spacePrincess to PRAISE CORAN
spacePrincess: so the girl next to me.is humming the yodeling kid song and I wanna die
spacePrincess: wait why did it link???
datboi: Allura is a commie confirmed
pidgeotto: actually I think that's like polish or something not Russian
datboi: hold up lemme look it up
datboi: according to Google translate it's icelandic
spacePrincess: is Iceland communist???
pidgeotto: you are one dumb bitch
daddy: watch your language
pidgeotto: you're not my dad
datboi: noodlehead
existential.crisis: I hate the yodeling meme
existential.crisis: it's not????? funny????
spacePrincess: ^^^^
datboi: I love it
spacePrincess: stop it
pidgeotto: die imperial scum!!!
pidgeotto: idk why I said that
pidgeotto: Lance is the only other one who plays Skyrim and he's being emo right now
daddy: wait what?
pidgeotto: yeah the nyma incident is a touchy subject so
daddy: oh jeez
spacePrincess: why?
pidgeotto: well he obviously forgave her but like
pidgeotto: he says he feels like an idiot whenever someone brings it up so
pidgeotto: hunk knows better but sometimes he forgets that Lance gets all weird about it
spacePrincess: don't you have this class with Lance?
pidgeotto: yeah me lance and keith all have Latin 2 together
pidgeotto: but he hasn't showed up so :/
hunkalunk: fuck
(1:50 pm) hunkalunk to loverrboy
hunkalunk: hey you alright?
loverrboy: yeahh I'm just not feeling class right now
loverrboy: can you tell pidge that
hunkalunk: of course
hunkalunk: I'm sorry for bringing everything up
loverrboy: it's fine
loverrboy: it's just
loverrboy: she's my friend and I don't like it when you talk shit about her
loverrboy: everyone deserves a second chance hunk
hunkalunk: I know
hunkalunk: I just love you dude and I don't want her to hurt you again
loverrboy: I live you too bro
loverrboy: god fucking dammit
loverrboy: love**
hunkalunk: that moment when your best bro lives you
loverrboy: LMAO
loverrboy: thanks hunk
Notes:
so the army story is based off of a stand-up done by Rhys Darby, coran’s VA, who served in the NZ army. seriously, it's insanely funny.
in sophomore year I used to go to GSA and the teacher in charge would always say “leave the drama to the thesbians”. at the time I was in drama club and found this incredibly amusing
Chapter 3: plot?????
Summary:
shark tank, bullying lance, and actual plot
Notes:
hi hello here I am with another shitty chapter bc this is insanely easy to write,,, and everyone commenting is making my day so give me more of those things lmao
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(9:02 pm) hunkalunk to PRAISE CORAN:
hunkalunk: so how were the auditions
hunkalunk: Lance and Allura?
spacePrincess: I feel confident
spacePrincess: I mean it was pretty easy so
datboi: oh shit I forgot that was today
datboi: can I still sign up for backstage?
hunkalunk: yeah I'm getting my form tomorrow so we can do it together
pidgeotto: I got mine today
pidgeotto: time to play deepthroat during intermission >:)))
spacePrincess: I will literally kill you
sunnyhoney: has the play been announced yet?
sunnyhoney: like, what it's going to be
spacePrincess: nah they usually announce it with the cast list
spacePrincess: the only ones who know are the cabinet in drama club
spacePrincess: but Lance won't tell me :((
daddy: Lance is in the cabinet? for drama?
spacePrincess: yeah he's the vice president
spacePrincess: plaxum is the president
spacePrincess: Ezor is the historian
spacePrincess: I think Lotor deals with all of the purchases but don't quote me on that
daddy: why aren't you in the cabinet?
spacePrincess: lazy
spacePrincess: I mean I'm super busy so I don't have the time
sunnyhoney: busy with what?
spacePrincess: well I'm the captain of color guard, president of Hero Club, plus I'm in mock trial
spacePrincess: and of course I'm VP for AP Club
spacePrincess: it's hard being so flawless
datboi: you're such a kiss ass
datboi: “oh look at me I'm so perfect”
datboi: why stress yourself out when you could just kill yourself
daddy: me
hunkalunk: o h
(10:42 pm) loverrboy to daddy:
loverrboy: hey
loverrboy: you awake?
daddy: ugh yeah
loverrboy: do you wanna Skype?
loverrboy: and watch Sharknado?
daddy: oh hell yeah
(5:22 am) lalalalalala to thot squad:
lalalalalala: so ladies
lalalalalala: and Lance
lalalalalala: did you all slay auditions like yours truly?
merbitch: I mean obviously us cabinet members got in
merbitch: and weren't acxa and zethrid just doing crew?
merbitch: so that just leaves you and Allura
lalalalalala: I feel good
lalalalalala: what is the play, anyway?
merbitch: you know I can't tell you
lalalalalala: ugh lame
lalalalalala: is it a musical?
bubbles: yeah
merbitch: Ezor!
bubbles: what? it's not a big deal
merbitch: >:((((
(7:01 am) existential.crisis to PRAISE CORAN:
existential.crisis: so like
existential.crisis: I’ve been debating this for awhike
existential.crisis: awhile***
existential.crisis: what shows are better: renovation or cooking?
pidgeotto: obviously reno shows
pidgeotto: by reno you mean like property brothers or fixer upper, right??
existential.crisis: yah
pidgeotto: then most def reno shows man
loverrboy: okay it depends on the show tho
loverrboy: bc property brothers is a definite bop but house hunters is trash
pidgeotto: u rite
pidgeotto: kinda like anything with guy fieri makes me want to blow my brains out but I religiously watch masterchef
datboi: UHM
datboi: did you just insult my FATHER????????
loverrboy: DISGUSTANG
datboi: WHICH ONE A YUS DONT KNOW HOW TO FLUSH AFTER YA TAKE A SHET
loverrboy: i love you meme lord ;’)))))
datboi: i love you too son
pidgeotto: we’re getting off topic
loverrboy: ah yes
loverrboy: we were insulting you for disrespecting guy
datboi: smh my head
datboi: i'm disowning you
hunkalunk: guy is a terrible cook????
loverrboy: oh
loverrboy: bro
loverrboy: thems fighting words
existential.crisis: can we please get back on topic???
loverrboy: sorry keefy
loverrboy: i think i prefer cooking shows just because there are so many chef daddies to praise
loverrboy: despite the scott brothers owning my ass
spacePrincess: ^^^
hunkalunk: i'm obviously a cooking show fan
spacePrincess: i love fixer upper so
spacePrincess: reno it is
loverrboy: chip gaines is sucha cutie
spacePrincess: FACTS
sunnyhoney: i love reno shows
loverrboy: okay but can we talk about the best show ever
loverrboy: shark tank
pidgeotto: FACTS
datboi: u rite
daddy: I actually really like shark tank
loverrboy: who's the best shark go!
pidgeotto: not Kevin
pidgeotto: he's so crusty
datboi: daymond bc he respects wamen
loverrboy: by not saying Lori or Barbara, you don't respect wamen
loverrboy: Barbara is my queen
pidgeotto: okay but Mark
spacePrincess: the go pro guy makes me wanna blow my brains out
datboi: hey that's a cool idea YA KNOW BACK WHEN I MADE GO PRO-
datboi: like shut up crusty ass
daddy: I like mark
sunnyhoney: Lori is my favorite sorry
loverrboy: can't believe no one is backing up my main girl Barbara
datboi: I love Barbara don't worry son
loverrboy: aw thanks pops
pidgeotto: u n c o m f o r t a b l e
existential.crisis: I am so lost
existential.crisis: what is shark tank????
pidgeotto: are you
Pidgeotto: fucking serious
loverrboy: only a degenerate furry from sixth period would say something like that
loverrboy: “what is shark tank”
loverrboy: the best show on television
datboi: smh my head
datboi: classic sixth period response
daddy: you've been disowned Keith
existential.crisis: ??????
loverrboy: and for that reason
loverrboy: I'm out
pidgeotto: I wheezed
spacePrincess: hElLo ShArKs
datboi: can I get 90% equity in your company
hunkalunk: classic Mr wonderful
hunkalunk: “I'll give you .2 cents if you give me your first born son”
spacePrincess: HONESTLY
daddy: hey I'm Mark Cuban do you wanna hear about my sports team
datboi: oh look at me I'm Lori greneir listen to me talk about QVC cus that's all I know teehee
loverrboy: the theme song is a bop tho
existential.crisis: help
loverrboy changed the chat name to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: god has entered the chat room
daddy: for once I have nothing to bully Lance about
daddy: I full heartedly support this notion
datboi: not all heroes wear capes
existential.crisis: I hate you all
(8:14 am) UNKNOWN NUMBER to loverrboy:
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Do you like sex? Come in
UNKNOWN NUMBER: https://meetlove29.win/osmJTD
(8:15 am) loverrboy sent an image to shark tank fanclub:
loverrboy: help I'm scared
(8:16 am) datboi added daddy, pidgeotto, hunkalunk, spacePrincess, sunnyhoney, and existential.crisis to Do you like sex? Come in
datboi: let's all just spam him with “Do you like sex? Come in” memes
pidgeotto: hell yes
spacePrincess: *laughs evilly*
(8:19 am) datboi to loverrboy:
datboi: Do you like sex? come in
datboi: coolmathgames.com
loverrboy: lmaooo
(8:20 am) pidgeotto to loverrboy:
pidgeotto: do you like sex? Come in
pidgeotto: mojang.com
loverrboy: lol seriously
(8:21 am) daddy to loverrboy:
daddy: do you like sex? come in
daddy: poptropica.com
loverrboy: stopppp
(8:21 am) datboi to loverrboy:
datboi: do you like sex? come in
loverrboy: ho don't do it
datboi: https://www.canada.ca/en.html
loverrboy: oh my god
(8:23 am) spacePrincess to loverrboy:
spacePrincess: do you like sex? come in
spacePrincess: https://vine.co
loverrboy: I STG
(8:23 am) hunkalunk to loverrboy:
hunkalunk: do you like sex? come in
hunkalunk: http://www.course-notes.org/us_history/notes/the_american_pageant_11th_edition_textbook_notes
loverrboy: ARE YOU FUCKING
loverrboy: SERIOUS
(8:24 am) existential.crisis to loverrboy:
existential.crisis: do you like sex? come in
existential.crisis: http://me.is/
loverrboy: why are you doing this
(8:24 am) sunnyhoney to loverrboy:
sunnyhoney: do you like sex? come in
sunnyhoney: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y82jDHRrswc
loverrboy: NOT YOU TOO SHAY
(8:24 am) loverrboy to shark tank fanclub:
loverrboy: it's too early for this shit guys
loverrboy: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN
loverrboy: THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
pidgeotto: ha gotteem
loverrboy: I hate you all
(9:22 am) spacePrincess to SENPAI:
spacePrincess: so I forgot this chat was a thing hello frens
datboi: ah yes
datboi: the senior group chat
daddy: why do we have twenty different chats is the real question
spacePrincess: TBH
daddy: wait did we have homework for psychology
datboi: just vocab I think but that's due on Friday,,
daddy: matt
daddy: today is Friday
datboi: MOTHER FUCK
daddy: brb I gotta do that before fifth period
spacePrincess: you could just, I dunno, do it on time and not stress yourself out ya know
daddy: where's the fun in that lol
daddy: I like to do the vocab on thursdays
spacePrincess: dumbasses
daddy: you're not wrong
spacePrincess: so Shiro
spacePrincess: it's been awhile since we've been able to talk
spacePrincess: mono e mono
daddy: I'm scared
spacePrincess: how's that crush on Lance going
daddy: w hat
daddy: I don't
daddy: hahah no crushes here
daddy: I most certainly do not have any romantic feelings towards Lance no sir
spacePrincess: you're so full of shit it's coming out of your mouth
spacePrincess: you can't lie to me Shiro I know everything
spacePrincess: EVERYTHING
daddy: jsknankdns
daddy: I might
daddy: maybe
daddy: have some feelings
datboi: fucking called it
daddy: SHUT UP HOLT I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU
spacePrincess: so you told Matt but not me??????
spacePrincess: I'm hurt
daddy: ahhhhhhhhh
daddy: I'm being attacked
datboi: ha I laugh at your misery
daddy: go do your homework matt
spacePrincess: the plot thickens…
daddy: I don't like the sound of that
daddy: AND HOLD ON
daddy: I'm not the only one here with a crush ALLURA
daddy: your feelings for Lotor are as transparent as cellophane girl
spacePrincess: HHH
spacePrincess: maybe so
daddy:
you can hide nothing from my superior dad eyes
spacePrincess: that's not a thing and you know it
daddy: says you
datboi: y'all are hopeless you should just follow my lead and be single for eternity
daddy: you're not innocent either holt
daddy: I know you like nyma
datboi: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
spacePrincess: :o
spacePrincess: THE PLOT THICKENS
datboi: you know I can't make a move on her tho
datboi: the rest of you have shots at your boos
daddy: what
daddy: I don't have a shot wtf
spacePrincess: OHMYGOD
spacePrincess: wait mattwhy wouldn't you have a chance?
datboi: uhh the whole Lance drama
datboi: I refuse to break the bro code
daddy: I'm sure Lance wouldn't mind if she made you happy
datboi: obviously he wouldn't mind because he's literally the most selfless person on this planet
datboi: BUT STILL
datboi: Lance and I are brothers in memes
datboi: I would never do something like that
spacePrincess: honorable but stupid
datboi: can that be on my tombstone????
daddy changed the chat name to the crush corner™
datboi: rip in pieces my dignity and self worth
daddy: mood
(10:56 am) existential.crisis to shark tank fanclub:
existential.crisis: yo Pidge
existential.crisis: is it alright if I bring attack of the killer tomatoes tonight??
pidgeotto: if you don't I'll kill you
loverrboy: what are you guys doing tonight?
pidgeotto: scary movie night at my place
loverrboy:ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh funn
loverrboy: I'm hurt I wasn't invited
existential.crisis: lance you hate scary movies
existential.crisis: we once watched Chucky together and you started crying
loverrboy: THERE WAS DUST IN MY EYE KEEF
existential.crisis: I cradled you in my arms
loverrboy: nope don't remember didn't happen
existential.crisis: we made out like immediately after lance
loverrboy: oh yeahhhhhhhh
loverrboy: that was fun
pidgeotto: didn't we agree to never bring up klance ever again
pidgeotto: I distinctly remember us agreeing to forget about your relationship
loverrboy: Pidge it was like a month during freshman year
loverrboy: you weren't even THERE
loverrboy: why does it matter????
pidgeotto: cuz y'all are gross
hunkalunk: Lance don't try to down play it
hunkalunk: you thought you were in love
loverrboy: HUNK
existential.crisis: wait for real???
loverrboy: I mean you were my first boyfriend
loverrboy: so kinda idk
spacePrincess: I FORGOT YOU GUYS DATED
datboi: I think everyone forgot about it tbh
loverrboy: our love has been forgotten keith
existential.crisis: I almost forgot too tbh
loverrboy: AW CMON
loverrboy: I HATE YOU OMG
loverrboy: hunk I propose we throw a movie night to protest
hunkalunk: can't this weekend sorry
hunkalunk: I'm babysitting
loverrboy: Allura?
spacePrincess: I've got a dance competition
loverrboy: SHAY?
loverrboy: wait she's in class nvm
loverrboy: MATT MY MEME BRO PLZ
datboi: sorry I was planning on crashing keith and Pidge's thing
loverrboy: fuCK
loverrboy: Shiro you're my only hope
daddy: relax princess Leia
daddy: I'm free
daddy: and my parents are in Japan so I have the place to myself for the week
loverrboy: HELL YEAH
loverrboy: I'm thinkin rom com marathon
loverrboy: pretty woman, princess diaries, my best friends wedding, and legally blonde baby
daddy: Julia Roberts marathon more like lol
(11:05 am) pidgeotto to operation shance:
pidgeotto: are you fucking kidding me
hunkalunk: it's definitely for “protest”
hunkalunk: definitely not a date
spacePrincess: can I hit them both?
spacePrincess: this is getting painful
(11:45 am) sunnyhoney to shark tank fanclub:
sunnyhoney: aw I missed all of the excitement
datboi: rip in pieces
sunnyhoney: matt that doesn't make any sense
sunnyhoney: rip stands for rest in peace
sunnyhoney: so you're just saying “rest in peace in pieces”
datboi: it's a meme Shay
sunnyhoney: ohh
sunnyhoney: I'm not very good at memes sorry
loverrboy: Shay you're too pure
loverrboy: will you marry me
sunnyhoney: I thought you and hunk were getting married
loverrboy: we can be poly
sunnyhoney: I don't think hunk likes boys sorry
loverrboy: why does everyone WANT TO HURT ME TODAY
loverrboy: :(
hunkalunk: joking or not?
loverrboy: pm me
(12:00 pm) hunkalunk to loverrboy:
hunkalunk: who hurt you
loverrboy: omg no one
loverrboy: I'm just over thinking you know how I get sometimes
hunkalunk: does this have anything to do with what Keith said earlier about forgetting you two
loverrboy: kinda
loverrboy: I just
loverrboy: I always thought we had something special and talking about it felt weird idk
loverrboy: did I ever tell you that we hooked up like a year after we broke up
hunkalunk: WHAT
loverrboy: lol yeah I still had feelings and shit
loverrboy: and he just asked me if I was still into him
loverrboy: and I told him that I kinda did
loverrboy: he said that he kinda did too but that we sucked as a couple
loverrboy:and that he was definitely attracted to me physically but not really emotionally
loverrboy: so we decided to be friends with benefits??? kinda
loverrboy: idk how to explain it but yeah
hunkalunk: what happened after that?
loverrboy: we kept seeing each other in secret
loverrboy: but one day he called it off randomly
loverrboy: he wouldn't tell me why so
hunkalunk: did you ask why?
loverrboy: no that would be embarrassing dude
hunkalunk: I think you should
hunkalunk: for closure
hunkalunk: do you still have feelings for him?
loverrboy: no no I realized that we didn't work well together romantically
loverrboy: plus I fell for Shiro
loverrboy: there wasn't enough room for two in my heart? I guess?? idk
hunkalunk: you should ask him why he broke things off
hunkalunk: promise me you will?
loverrboy: hunk
hunkalunk: c'mon
loverrboy: I don't think I can
hunkalunk: I'll make you cupcakes
hunkalunk: red velvet even
loverrboy: fineee
loverrboy: damn you and your cupcakes
hunkalunk: >:)))
loverrboy: I'll text him after next period
loverrboy: I kinda don't want to see him in person afterwards
hunkalunk: thank you
(1:15 pm) existential.crisis to shark tank fanclub:
existential.crisis: have I mentioned how much I loathe Sendak
existential.crisis: I can't believe he's building a stage in the middle of class
existential.crisis: and he just assigned us like twenty pages out of the springboard
datboi: Jesus he got worse
datboi: is he playing thrift shop?
existential.crisis: worse
existential.crisis: he's playing Nickelback
pidgeotto: DEAR GOD
spacePrincess: is he trying to kill you?????
existential.crisis: it's a new form of torture or something
daddy: you poor soul
datboi: while you are stuck with Sendak
datboi: Shiro allura and I are chillin with Ulaz
existential.crisis: you lucky motherfucker
existential.crisis: tell him I said hi
daddy: he says he misses your face
daddy: and that he'll see you on Sunday
datboi: what does that even mean????
existential.crisis: well Ulaz is pretty close friends with my mom
existential.crisis: which you already knew
existential.crisis: he's throwing a BBQ on Sunday for his daughter’s birthday
daddy: and he didn't invite ME?
spacePrincess: Shiro just asked Ulaz why he didn't get invited lmaoooo
datboi: what a loser
daddy: I am now invited
daddy: I'll see you Sunday, Keith
existential.crisis: why are you like this?
(2:52 pm) loverrboy to existential.crisis
loverrboy: hey Keith
existential.crisis: oh god
existential.crisis: you used my name instead of “keef” or “mullet” or “furry"
existential.crisis: this is serious isn't it
loverrboy: not,,,,
loverrboy: necessarily
existential.crisis: I'm scared
loverrboy: omg you're overreacting
loverrboy: I just have a question
existential.crisis: did you finally kill someone
existential.crisis: do you need me to help you hide the body
existential.crisis: because you know I can
loverrboy: wtf no
loverrboy: why is that your first reaction?????
loverrboy: I just wanted to ask you why you broke up with me
loverrboy: the second time
existential.crisis: oh
existential.crisis: um
existential.crisis: I just didn't think we would work out
loverrboy: I don't believe you
loverrboy: I have a feeling that there's more to it than that
existential.crisis: why are you even bringing this up
existential.crisis: I thought we were fine
loverrboy: we are fine I just wanna know
existential.crisis: I can't tell you
loverrboy: WHY NOT
existential.crisis: it's not my story to tell lance
loverrboy: I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW KEITH
loverrboy: if it got between the two of us I deserve to know why
existential.crisis: listen
existential.crisis: I can't tell you why
existential.crisis: but Shiro can
existential.crisis: ask him later tonight
loverrboy: Shiro??????
existential.crisis: that's all I can say Lance
loverrboy: I'm so lost
loverrboy: but fine
loverrboy: I'll ask him tonight
existential.crisis: for what it's worth
existential.crisis: I'm sorry
loverrboy: for?
existential.crisis: breaking things off
existential.crisis: I didn't really want to
existential.crisis: we had something special and it's my fault we lost it
loverrboy: Keith
loverrboy: you were right the first time around
loverrboy: we were too used to being friends to really be anything more
existential.crisis: I broke your heart
loverrboy: you did
loverrboy: but it wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last
loverrboy: even though you won't tell me why, I'm sure you had your reasons and I respect that
loverrboy: because you're my friend
existential.crisis: Lance
existential.crisis: I love you
loverrboy: I love you too mullet
existential.crisis: have fun with Shiro tonight
loverrboy: believe me, I will ;)))
loverrboy: have fun with Pidge and your hellish horror movies
existential.crisis: lmao you're ridiculous
loverrboy: this is surprising to literally no one keef
Notes:
haaaaaa my ass projected on Lance so hard this chapter sorry bud,,,,
the shark tank discussion is 100% accurate me and my friends love it
also im a slut for past klance dont @ meshiro drama and maybe official shance next chapter,, idk i might draw this out, might not, who knows? cause i sure as hell don't lmaoo
Chapter 4: missing boys
Summary:
The cypkids and shance both have their movie nights, but no one can get ahold of shiro or lance???
Notes:
this chapter is really short but,,, ya know,,,,, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(3:02 pm) loverrboy to daddy:
loverrboy: hey so can you pick me up?
loverrboy: my sister has my car
daddy: oh yeah no problem
daddy: you still live by the dollar tree right?
loverrboy: yuppp
daddy: k I'll be there in ten
loverrboy: see you soon
(3:03 pm) loverrboy to hunkalunk:
loverrboy: HELP 911
hunkalunk: whats wrong bro
loverrboy: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR TO SHIROS
loverrboy: ITS A SLEEPOVER SO I CAN'T BE TOO SEXY BUT I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES
hunkalunk: bro you know I suck at clothes shit
hunkalunk: ask Allura
loverrboy: you right
loverrboy: brb
(3:09 pm) loverrboy to spacePrincess:
loverrboy: 911
loverrboy: WHAT DO I WEAR TO SHIROS
spacePrincess: hmmmm
spacePrincess: your old cure shirt for sure
loverrboy: the one with all the holes in it?
spacePrincess: definitely
loverrboy: okay got it what else?
spacePrincess: are you shaved? leg wise?
loverrboy: yupyup
spacePrincess: then wear the blue shorts
loverrboy: Allura those ones say “bite me” on the ass
loverrboy: I would never dream of leaving the house in them
spacePrincess: do you trust me or not?
loverrboy: ofc I trust you
spacePrincess: then wear the damn shorts
loverrboy: fineee
loverrboy: thanks lura <3
(3:20 pm) hunkalunk to shark tank fanclub:
hunkalunk: why does it feel like everyone has plans this weekend?
sunnyhoney: well half of our group is busy right now
hunkalunk: we're lame huh
sunnyhoney: lol kinda
datboi: o shit Shay is on fire today
sunnyhoney: matttt
sunnyhoney: it was a joke
datboi: Shay? making jokes? it's more likely than you'd think
hunkalunk: weren't you gonna watch movies with the crypkids?
datboi: they kicked me out
datboi: pidge blackmailed me so ://
hunkalunk: LOL
sunnyhoney: oh?
spacePrincess: I heard blackmail I'm in
datboi: classic Allura
datboi: you're such a gossip sometimes
spacePrincess: maybe so but it pays off
spacePrincess: I have dirt on everyone in this chat
hunkalunk: even Shay?
spacePrincess: EVERYONE
hunkalunk: o h
(3:25 pm) daddy to loverrboy:
daddy: I'm here
daddy: sorry I'm so late I kinda got lost lol
loverrboy: it's fine I'll be out in a sec
(3:25 pm) daddy to datboi:
daddy: help
daddy: his shorts say bite me
datboi: ????
daddy: how do stop gay crisis
datboi: LMAO
daddy: gtg I'll text you when he does something cute
datboi: so every two seconds?
daddy: shut it holt
(4:00 pm) existential.crisis sent a video to shark tank fanclub
spacePrincess: you guys are weird
spacePrincess: why is Pidge screaming at the bird?
existential.crisis: chrsi id that a weeed
spacePrincess: oh nevermind you're high
existential.crisis: hnnnnnnnnn cronchie boi
(6:21 pm) pidgeotto sent a video to shark tank fanclub
hunkalunk: is that
hunkalunk: Keith
hunkalunk: hanging from the ceiling fan?
pidgeotto: GURL LEMME GIVE U A KISS
pidgeotto: OOPSS I FELL ON MA BOOTIE
hunkalunk: I have no questions
(7:49 pm) hunkalunk to operation shance:
hunkalunk: so Lance hasn't texted me about any gay crisis
hunkalunk: that either means he's too busy being gay with Shiro or that he's been killed and skinned
sunnyhoney: ??
hunkalunk: I maybe watched CSI again
sunnyhoney: hunk we talked about this
sunnyhoney: no CSI after five o'clock
hunkalunk: I'm weak
(12:15 am) loverrboy to hunkalunk:
loverrboy: I'm in love and it's beautiful
(2:34 am) pidgeotto to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: is anyone awake
pidgeotto: bc Keith crashed on me so I'm bored
pidgeotto: no?
pidgeotto: ugh y'all are lame asses smh
(7:22 am) hunkalunk to loverrboy:
hunkalunk: hey uh what does this mean
hunkalunk: did something happen????
(8:15 am) datboi to the crush corner™:
datboi: so Shiro
datboi: how did your date with Lance go?? ;))
(8:52 am) datboi to the crush corner™:
datboi: are you still sleeping?
spacePrincess: he might be idk
(9:40 am) hunkalunk to operation shance:
hunkalunk: so Lance hasn't texted me since like midnight
hunkalunk: where all he said was that he was in love????
hunkalunk: and now he's gone AWOL
datboi: same with Shiro
spacePrincess: I wonder what happened??
(12:56 pm) pidgeotto to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: I rise from the dead
sunnyhoney: did you just wake up?
pidgeotto: yepp
sunnyhoney: jeez how late did you stay up?
pidgeotto: I fell asleep at 6 maybe??
pidgeotto: slept for a few hours
pidgeotto: and here I am
datboi: is Keith up too?
datboi: I hear voices but that could be mom
pidgeotto: nah keith woke up like an hour ago
pidgeotto: he's been playing Minecraft
datboi: are you fucking
datboi: he better not be using my account
existential.crisis: I am
datboi: GOD DAMMIT KOGANE
hunkalunk: have any of you heard from either Shiro or Lance?
hunkalunk: I haven't been able to get ahold of them
datboi: still?
datboi: Jesus
pidgeotto: they're both dead watch
sunnyhoney: Katie!
pidgeotto: hey it could happen you never know
spacePrincess: or they're just, I dunno, sleeping??????
hunkalunk: that could very well be true
hunkalunk: Lance loves to sleep in
existential.crisis: and he's a super heavy sleeper
hunkalunk: how do you know that???
existential.crisis: uh
existential.crisis: I'm going back to Minecraft
hunkalunk: ????
(1:30 pm) existential.crisis to daddy:
existential.crisis: hey man
existential.crisis: how did things go with Lance?
daddy: oh hey Keith!!!!
daddy: we had fun
existential.crisis: did you two talk things out?
daddy: wym
existential.crisis: did he ask you about the breakup
daddy: oh yeah we cleared that all up
existential.crisis: W HAT
existential.crisis: what happened???
daddy: hey Keith I gotta go
daddy: I'll see you tomorrow
existential.crisis: ??????
(1:33 pm) existential.crisis to operation shance:
existential.crisis: so
existential.crisis: Lance asked me why we broke up on Friday
existential.crisis: and I told him to ask Shiro
hunkalunk: wait why Shiro?
existential.crisis: I broke up with him bc I knew about Shiro's feelings
existential.crisis: and felt bad
hunkalunk: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pidgeotto: OHMYGOD ARE YOU SERIOUS
existential.crisis: yeah so
existential.crisis: this just happened
(1:35 pm) existential.crisis sent an image to operation shance
existential.crisis: and I'm concerned
hunkalunk: I wonder what's going on…
pidgeotto: this is wild
datboi: THE PLOT THICKENS
hunkalunk: should I try texting Lance again?
sunnyhoney: honestly?
sunnyhoney: I think we should leave them alone
sunnyhoney: it seems like they're avoiding us for a reason and we should let them work things through on their own
pidgeotto: Shay you have the best advice
pidgeotto: you're the coolest tbh
spacePrincess: facts
hunkalunk: and she's all MINE bitches!!!
sunnyhoney: awh hunky <3
hunkalunk: I love you honey
pidgeotto: oh gross
existential.crisis: yucky ass heteros rubbing your weird hetero stuff everywhere
sunnyhoney: you're just jealous mullet
spacePrincess: :o
pidgeotto: what just happened
datboi: omg
existential.crisis: you need to stop hanging around Lance
existential.crisis: he's a bad influence
hunkalunk: my girlfriend kicks ass <3
sunnyhoney: <3
(6:53 pm) loverrboy to hunkalunk:
loverrboy: hey so
loverrboy: don't tell the others
loverrboy: (I'm not even supposed to tell you but I just got home and I'm freaking the fuck out!!)
loverrboy: but Shiro and I had sex
hunkalunk: WHAT
hunkalunk: HOW
hunkalunk: I DONT
hunkalunk: AHHHH
loverrboy: I KNOW
loverrboy: IM GOING NUTS
hunkalunk: I NEED DETAILS
hunkalunk: not sex details bc ew
hunkalunk: BUT LIKE
hunkalunk: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
loverrboy: OKAY so on Friday I asked Keith why he broke up with me
loverrboy: and he said this
(6:55 pm) loverrboy sent an image to hunkalunk
(6:55 pm) loverrboy sent an image to hunkalunk
loverrboy: so after spending a few hours just watching movies together and lowkey snuggling
loverrboy: (it was great btw)
loverrboy: I just kinda blurted it out??
loverrboy: and at first he didn't want to answer but I kept pestering him
loverrboy: and apparently Keith broke up with me bc he found out about Shiro having feelings for me
loverrboy: FOR ME!!!
loverrboy: and he was kinda freaking out so I just
loverrboy: kissed him!
hunkalunk: AHHH
loverrboy: I KNOW
loverrboy: anyway so we talked
loverrboy: and he asked me out
loverrboy: so we're dating now!!!!!
hunkalunk: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
hunkalunk: wait how did you guys end up having sex?
loverrboy: ohhhhh mann
loverrboy: so we fell asleep cuddling and shit
loverrboy: and he woke up with a boner
loverrboy: it was totally digging into my back and AHHH
loverrboy: so I made a joke about it and things kinda escalated
loverrboy: IM SO HAPPY RN
loverrboy: but you have to PROMISE to not say anything
hunkalunk: for how long??????
loverrboy: we're telling everyone on Monday
hunkalunk: FINE
hunkalunk: I can't believe this happened tbh we've been dealing with the pining for over a year
hunkalunk: like!!
hunkalunk: you've both been so obvious
loverrboy: really??
hunkalunk: yeah we made a group chat to talk about how hopeless you are and everything
loverrboy: HUNK
hunkalunk: lmao we had no choice
hunkalunk: it was getting pretty bad dude
loverrboy: ugh
loverrboy: I'm gonna go take a shower
hunkalunk: oh okay have fun :))
(7:12 pm) hunkalunk to operation shance:
hunkalunk: Lance texted me
hunkalunk: they're both alive and well
pidgeotto: oh good
pidgeotto: any news?
hunkalunk: can't say
pidgeotto: huuuuuuunk
pidgeotto: pleeeeeeaaaaaaseee
hunkalunk: nope sorry bro code
pidgeotto: dammit
(8:01 pm) daddy to loverrboy:
daddy: miss you
loverrboy: AHHH
loverrboy: I miss you more
daddy: not possible
loverrboy: SMOOTH
daddy: too much?
loverrboy: hell no please never stop
loverrboy: <3
daddy: <3
daddy: wanna watch princess bride?
loverrboy: YES
(8:06 pm) incoming phone call from loverrboy
(11:49 pm) call ended.
Notes:
keith and pidge were me and my best friend like a week ago lmao,,
also I might write the shance sleepover and stuff irl style and post it separately idk im debating on whether anyone would want to read it,,,,, though even if yall dont wanna read it I'll probs write it anyway lol,, plus I REALLY wanna write the smut so we'll see...
Chapter 5: The Big Reveal™
Summary:
shance is official and the cast for the play is revealed!!
Notes:
ahh sorry this is late I suck and lost inspiration oops BUT I did start writing the shance sleepover, I'll put in a lil sneak peek in the endnotes :)))))) idk when it'll be done because I really suck lmao
also credit to mysticmajestic for the "Everyone knows that your best friend isn’t part of don’t tell anyone else." line bc it made me laugh so I put it in the ficANYWAY ENJOY~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(12:01 pm) loverrboy to daddy:
loverrboy: how's dally?
daddy: he misses you
daddy: we brought him to Ulaz’s barbeque so he's having fun
loverrboy: AW
loverrboy: PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN
(12:05 pm) daddy sent a video to loverrboy
loverrboy: I LOVE THE PUPPER
loverrboy: tell him I said hi
loverrboy: and that I love him
loverrboy: and that he is best boy
daddy: can do
daddy: and what do you have to say to me, huh?
loverrboy: oh nothing much
loverrboy: just that you're the light of my life
daddy: FUKC
daddy: you're good
loverrboy: you're better
daddy: lanceee
daddy: why are you so perfect
loverrboy: genetics baby
loverrboy: my Abuela is one sexy granny
daddy: o h
loverrboy: lmao how's keith doing
daddy: he hates life
daddy: you know how he gets in sunlight
daddy: and at social functions
loverrboy: lmao what a dweeb
loverrboy: did he ask you what happened
daddy: actually no
daddy: I think Shay talked to him or something
loverrboy: lol Shay is the only one who could talk Keith down probably
daddy: you could
daddy: I mean I've seen you anyway
loverrboy: I mean
loverrboy: so have you
daddy: okay so we both can talk him down
loverrboy: lol the keith tamer squad
daddy: LOL
daddy: brb I need to stop dally from eating the guac
loverrboy: NOT THE GUAC
loverrboy: text me later <3
(1:30 pm) hunkalunk sent a video to shark tank fanclub
hunkalunk: these kids are crazy
loverrboy: those are Mia’s kids right?
loverrboy: Sammy and Jess?
hunkalunk: yeahh
hunkalunk: they're on crack or something
hunkalunk: I just found Sammy on top of the turtle tank???
datboi: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
loverrboy: LMAO
loverrboy: do you need me to come over and help?
hunkalunk: yes
hunkalunk: please I beg you
loverrboy: lol I'll be there in ten
hunkalunk: love you bro
(2:46 pm) daddy to loverrboy:
daddy: help
daddy: food coma
loverrboy: omg
loverrboy: how much did you eat?
daddy: too much
loverrboy: awwwww
loverrboy: dumbass shouldn't have eaten so much
daddy: don't judge me you're supposed to have my back
loverrboy: not when you're being a dumbass
daddy: :(
loverrboy: love you tho
daddy: :)
(4:02 pm) loverrboy to daddy:
loverrboy: my sister is driving me nuts
daddy: what is she doing?
loverrboy: shes blaring twenty one pilots nightcore
loverrboy: k i l l m e
daddy: dear god im sorry
loverrboy: we are in the timeline god has abandoned
loverrboy: ive heard heathens at least thirty times
loverrboy: WHY
daddy: movie?
loverrboy: god yes
loverrboy: what are you feeling today?
daddy: hmmm bee movie
loverrboy: an intellectual
(4:10 pm) incoming call from loverrboy
(5:54 pm) call ended
(8:30 am) pidgeotto to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: ARE YOU FUCKIN
pidgeotto: THIS WHOLE WEEKEND
spacePrincess: ALL THIS TIME AND YOUVE BOTH BEEN
datboi: AHAHHAHAH I KNEW IT
sunnyhoney: im happy for you two <3
loverrboy: thanks shay <333
spacePrincess: so hunk has been oddly silent in the wake of this reveal…
pidgeotto: DONT TELL ME YOU ALREADY KNEW
daddy: ??
daddy: he shouldnt know
daddy: unless..
daddy: LANCE
loverrboy: oops
loverrboy: everyone knows when you say “don’t tell anyone” your best friend is excluded
loverrboy: duhhhh
hunkalunk: sorry guys I couldnt say anything
daddy: GOD DAMMIT LANCE >:((
loverrboy: hunk knows everything about me sorry
loverrboy: i physically can’t resist telling him new news
spacePrincess: I’m still in shock
pidgeotto: ^^^^^
datboi: I love the way you told everyone
datboi: just,, showing up in shiro’s car, holding hands, and then making out the moment you step on campus
datboi: RIGHT IN FRONT OF GRANDMA
existential.crisis: who’s grandma??
pidgeotto: you are the worst junior I’ve ever seen
pidgeotto: im a sophomore and I know who grandma is
loverrboy: It’s the one security guard who always dress codes people
loverrboy: the reallyyy old one
existential.crisis: o h
spacePrincess: anyway you guys are probably the gossip of the school rn so congrats
loverrboy: finally my time to shine
loverrboy: ALSO THE CAST FOR THE PLAY IS REVEALED TODAY!!!
spacePrincess: IM SO NERVOUS AHH
loverrboy: don’t be you got in
spacePrincess: ???????????????????????
loverrboy: I mean
loverrboy: f uk
datboi: lmao lance you suckkkk
loverrboy: shut your quiznak holt
pidgeotto: wtf is a quiznak????
hunkalunk: coran says quiznak instead of fuck
pidgeotto: ahhh
Pidgeotto: what a god
loverrboy: HONESTLY
(10:42 am) sunnyhoney to shark tank fanclub:
sunnyhoney: coran winked at me
pidgeotto: #blessed
loverrboy: im trying to get on that level
loverrboy: @ coran love me
hunkalunk: IF THATS WHAT YOU WANNA DO
loverrboy: excellent reference, 20/10
hunkalunk: thank you
hunkalunk: I’d like to thank my parents, and my beautiful girlfriend shay
hunkalunk: and of course my side ho Lance
loverrboy: they grow up so fast :’))
daddy: u hm
daddy: ????
loverrboy: shhh babe let it happen
loverrboy: AHHH I CAN SAY THAT NOW
loverrboy: boy do i love HAVING SOMEONE TO RESPECT
pidgeotto: bitch you’ve always had someone to respect
pidgeotto: @coran
loverrboy: shit u rite nvm
(11:02 am) merbitch to thot squad:
merbitch: y'all ready for cast announcements at lunch
lalalalalala: im quaking in my uggs
loverrboy: first of all
loverrboy: literally delete yourself
bubbles: im gonna ignore the uggs comment bc ew
bubbles: but like,,,, yeah im excited
buttercup: @nyma,,,, this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you!!
lalalalala: damn yall didn’t like the ugg joke smh chill
lalalalala: I hope I got a good role though
loverrboy: you did don’t worry
bubbles: LANCE STOP SPOILING IT
loverrboy: she’s gonna find out in like,,, twenty minutes
loverrboy: it doesn’t matter
merbitch: OK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LANCE’S NEW RELATIONSHIP
spacePrincess: dare I say,,,,,,,, iconic
merbitch: HONESTLY
merbitch: im so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!
loverrboy: AHH THANKS BOO
merbitch: like you two are the new IT couple tbh
loverrboy: ahhh that’s my goal honestly
loverrboy: I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT
bubbles: okay but me and acxa did it first,,
merbitch: ???
bubbles: we are the OG lgbt couple
bubbles: plus we’re lesbians
bubbles: get on our level
loverrboy: damn I can never top lesbians :’(((
lalalalala: I hate you all
(12:34 pm) spacePrincess to shark tank fanclub:
spacePrincess: LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
spacePrincess: REALLY????
loverrboy: ;)))))
spacePrincess: so I’m one of the girls???
spacePrincess: Crystal, right?
loverrboy: yupyupyup
daddy: I haven’t seen little shop of horrors in ages
loverrboy: we can watch it tonight in honor of the cast list reveal
daddy: !!!
datboi: AAHHH
datboi: I AUDITIONED LATE
datboi: AND I STILL GOT THE LEAD????
loverrboy: you really impressed luxia
datboi: YEAH BUT NOW IM FREAKING OUT HOW TF AM I GONNA DO THIS
pidgeotto: my brother is gonna be famous yall
daddy: and you get to kiss nyma since she’s audrey
datboi: OH FUCK
datboi: how do
datboi: delet someone elses bullshit
loverrboy: ???????
spacePrincess: he totally wants to bone nyma
pidgeotto: speaking as a sister
pidgeotto: you could do better :///
hunkalunk: run while you can
hunkalunk: she will drag you into her drama so quick
loverrboy: HUNK
datboi: are you like,,,, mad?
loverrboy: why would I be mad??????
datboi: bro code
loverrboy: LISTEN HERE YA LITTLE SHET
loverrboy: yeah she hurt me but like??? She’s still a great person
loverrboy: and I don’t blame you for crushing on her tbh she’s amazing
loverrboy: plus I have the best boyfriend ever so I couldn’t care less
pidgeotto: DAMN LANCE
datboi: i love you you’re so amazing wtf
daddy: AND HE’S MINE BITCHES GET YOUR OWN LANCE
loverrboy: consider this me giving you my blessing
loverrboy: DAMN STRAIGHT IM YOURS AND YOU’RE MINE BITCH NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE YOU!!!
pidgeotto: gross
(12:41 pm) lalalalala to thot squad:
lalalalala: BITCH IM AUDREY HELL YES
merbitch: ahh im so happy for you
bubbles: ya boi ronnette hells yeah
lalalalala: crying over lance being the dentist tbh
bubbles: AND LOTOR AS MUSHNIK AHH
loverrboy: this shit is gonna be so fucking lit guys
buttercup: im not looking forward to ez singing her songs on loop though
bubbles: you LOVE my singing!!
buttercup: unfortunately
bubbles: :)))
Notes:
the promised irl sneak peek:
***
So. Lance has a bit of a crush.And it's―he hates that word. Crush. Like he's twelve all over again, eyes stuck on Jenny Hopkins, leaving her little notes on her desk before she gets to class. And, of course, the term brings back the inevitable rejection, crashing down on him, weighing him down.
This doesn't feel like a crush. This feels powerful, far stronger than a petty crush. And it’s lasted far longer than he thought it would.
***
Chapter 6: idk some shit happens
Notes:
*crawls out from the sewers like the rat I am* YO SORRY FOR DISAPEARING A LOT HAPPENED MY BAD this chap might be kinda bad idk it feels weird cuz my bf just broke up with so I am a HOT MESS™,,
ALSO if you couldn't tell I changed the time setting bc I really didn't want the seniors to be graduating and shit yet so this now takes place during the fall semester,,,
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(8:09 am) hunkalunk to shark tank fanclub:
hunkalunk : so like
hunkalunk: y'all excited for Halloween?
pidgeotto: uhm???????
pidgeotto: it's September???????
loverrboy: Pidgey
loverrboy: podge
loverrboy: it's Halloween
pidgeotto: I just said ITS SEPTEMBER???
hunkalunk: it's cold outside therefore it's Halloween
loverrboy: I saw a leaf on the ground
loverrboy: can't deny the facts
daddy: ?
loverrboy: fallen leaf=halloween
loverrboy: keep up honey
daddy: u h
(3:15 pm) datboi to shark tank fanclub:
datboi: YALL
datboi: I JUST FOUND
datboi: FUXK GIMME A MINUTE
loverrboy: take your time
datboi: thanks Lance
datboi: I FOUND CORANS INSTA
loverrboy: BICHT W HAT
loverrboy: are u FUCKIG
loverrboy: AM I DREAMING
datboi: SHJHXBKL
pidgeotto: matt are you fr
datboi: yES
loverrboy: BICHT WHATS HIS @
daddy: what did I miss?
daddy: OH SHIT
daddy: wow I didn't think he knew how to use the internet
loverrboy: SLANDER?
loverrboy: IN MY HOUSE???
pidgeotto: it's more likely than you'd think
hunkalunk: lmao
datboi: @moustachio.c0rn
loverrboy: IM?????????
hunkalunk: #blessed
existential.crisis: fuck not this again
loverrboy: YA KNOW WHAT KEITB
loverrboy: FUKINF
loverrboy: I WILL NOT TOLWRATE THIS SLANDER IN MY GOOD CORAN LOVING HOUSEHOLD
loverrboy: YOU DUSTY TEXAN GOBLIN OF HATRED
pidgeotto: did he just
pidgeotto: lance what the literal fUck
pidgeotto: did you just call keotb
pidgeotto: Keith**
loverrboy: DID I STUTTER
pidgeotto: no but you did say “tolwrate"
existential.crisis: who's the furry NOW
existential.crisis: not me BITCJ
datboi: OwO what's this
loverrboy: f uk
daddy: it really do be like that
loverrboy: I FEEL LIKE WE GOT DISTRACTED
loverrboy: IM GONNA GO REQUEST TO FOLLOW CORAN
hunkalunk: alright furry
loverrboy: IM NOT KEITH
pidgeotto: nya
existential.crisis: oh how the turntables,,,,,
(3:52 pm) spacePrincess to shark tank fanclub:
spacePrincess: how did I miss furry Lance
spacePrincess: and Coran having an Instagram
sunnyhoney: I'm kinda glad I missed it tbh
spacePrincess: LOL
spacePrincess: so Shay
spacePrincess: how've you been
sunnyhoney: Oh! Pretty good :D
spacePrincess: oh worm?
sunnyhoney: I still don't get that meme….
(4:02 pm) spacePrincess to Film Project:
spacePrincess: so I started on the screenplay for the film.
L'oreal: I saw
L'oreal: it seems a bit..
L'oreal: stiff
loverrboy: DID YOU JUST INSULT MY GODDESS
spacePrincess: Lance hush
spacePrincess: he's right I've been having a hard time
spacePrincess: I'm just very busy with everything
spacePrincess: the play and studying and all of my clubs
loverrboy: let me do it
spacePrincess: are you sure?
loverrboy: ofc boo
spacePrincess: :)
(5:39 pm) datboi: to shark tank fanclub:
datboi: so about Halloween,,,,
pidgeotto: we alREADY HAD THIS DISCUSSION ITS NOT HALLOWEEN
datboi: shut your QUIZNAK pidge
datboi: the adults are speaking
pidgeotto:. I will literally end you,, I know where you sleep
datboi: ANYWAY
datboi: so in honor of the spoopy season
datboi: I propose we change out usernames
datboi: our**
datboi: I shall start
datboi changed their name to ghostboi
hunkalunk: Oh heck yeah!!
hunkalunk changed their name to BOO!
loverrboy changed their name to skeleboner
skeleboner: ;)))
spacePrincess changed their name to spoopyPrincess
sunnyhoney: oh!
sunnyhoney changed their name to candycorn
pidgeotto: are you fucking
pidgeotto: I'm not doing it
ghostboi: CMON PIDGE U HAVE TO
pidgeotto: I really don't
daddy: fuck what happened to your names?
daddy: oh nvm
daddy changed their name to pumpkinspice
skeleboner: ????
skeleboner: w h y
pumpkinspice: we're changing our names to something scary, right?
spoopyPrincess: HH
spoopyPrincess: in that case
spoopyPrincess changed their name to rejection
ghostboi: MOOD
skeleboner: me the fuCK TOO
rejection: you??? have a boyfriend?????
skeleboner: oh YEAH
skeleboner: FUCK I LOVE MY LIFE RN
existential.crisis: do you know how hard it was to remember your usernames before??
existential.crisis: I HAVE.NO IDEA WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE
existential.crisis: well,,
existential.crisis: if ya can't beat em, join em
pidgeotto: hoe don't do it
existential.crisis changed their name to m0thman
pidgeotto: oh my god
Notes:
why do we exists just to suffer?
Chapter 7: g r u
Summary:
g r u
Notes:
yo so like,, this chap is mostly fluff and shitpost but it was really fun to write,,, just a warning that shit really goes down in the next few chapters HAHA OOPS yeah I made it angsty again,,,, yikes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(1:04 pm) rejection to shark tank fanclub:
rejection: bruh did I ever tell you about my creepy ass neighbor?
skeleboner: I mean you told me but idk about every1 else
ghostboi: the one who's always outside and staring at you when you walk your dog?
rejection: yeahh that one
rejection: so his crusty ass Grandpa was out right
rejection: and I was just walkin Minnie as usual
rejection: and his decaying ass decided to talk to me
BOO!: oh gross
BOO!: what did he say??
rejection: so at first he was friendly right
rejection: like he asked how Minnie was and shit
rejection: and then he was like “you know today is my birthday”
rejection: so like the good person I am I was like “oh happy b day you old fuck”
rejection: not exactly those words but you get the gist
skeleboner: HAPPY B DAY YOU OLD FUCK IM WHEEZING
rejection: and he was like “no need, seeing your beautiful face is the only gift I need”
rejection: which, ok, nice and all whatever
rejection: but he like,,,,, winked
rejection: and kinda licked his lips and Ugh™
ghostboi: yuck
rejection: LIKE THERE ARE A MILLION OTHER THINGS YOU COULD BE DOING
rejection: why did hE HAVE TO SPEND HIS TIME CREEPING ON A HIGHSCHOOL GIRL
skeleboner: the real question is,,,
skeleboner: can he even.get it up
ghostboi: PFT
candycorn: Lance!
rejection: I'd rather not think about his crusty old man dick
skeleboner: but go off I guess
(2:56 pm) pidgeotto to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: y'all ever just look at your body
pidgeotto: and like
pidgeotto: you're like “holy shit man that's my body”
pidgeotto: wtf I have a body this is mine I'm a whole person
candycorn: are you high?
pidgeotto: lmao ya
m0thman: hah yupp
candycorn: *sigh*
BOO!: hey Lance
BOO!: Laaaaaaaaaanceeee
skeleboner: ??
BOO!: do you remember when we were like five and you wanted some water
BOO!: and you couldn't remember how to properly ask in English
BOO!: and you asked my mom “may I have piece of drink water?”
BOO!: that was funny as hell
skeleboner: I hate you,,
(1:23 pm) L'oreal to Film Project:
L'oreal: Lance the script looks terrible
skeleboner: exCUSE ME?
skeleboner: LISTEN UP YOU DISCOUNT LEGOLAS IT LOOKS GREAT
L'oreal: it says fuck a total of thirty times
L'oreal: there isn't even any action it's just words
blaze_it: actually I think it's really funny
blaze_it: it's like an episode of drunk history or something
ghostboi: LIGHTBULB™
ghostboi: why don't we just do it like a drunk history??
rejection: guys can we take this seriously?
pumpkinspice: actually Allura it sounds like a good idea
pumpkinspice: it's really original and I think Thace would like it
L'oreal: I vote no
skeleboner: okay but no one here likes you except for Allura so your opinion is INVALID and UNWANTED
ghostboi: daaaaaamn
rejection: Lance can you please play nice?
skeleboner: fine but only for you princess
L'oreal: eat a dick
skeleboner: OKAY
skeleboner: Shiro let's go
pumpkinspice: NO
ghostboi: don't act like you don't want it ho
pumpkinspice: hhh
rejection: anyways we should vote
rejection: and every vote is valid, LANCE
skeleboner: fine,,
skeleboner: I vote yes
ghostboi: I will always back up my sin
ghostboi: son**
skeleboner: you were right the first time ;)))
ghostboi: LMAO
rejection: I vote no
skeleboner: et tu, Brutus?
rejection: drama queen
pumpkinspice: it sounds fun so yeah
blaze_it: I think it sounds like a good idea
blaze_it: the more original we are the more points we get
rejection: Lotor we've been outvoted
rejection: so we'll be doing the drunk history film
skeleboner: eat shit and die, pretty boy
L'oreal: is that an insult or a compliment?
skeleboner: BOTH
skeleboner: bc I really like your hair
L'oreal: Oh
skeleboner: tell me what you do to it I Need To Know
skeleboner: My Crops Are Dying™
L'oreal: oh um coconut oil before I go to bed and tea tree hair masks
skeleboner: thanks
skeleboner: I still hate your stupid guts
L'oreal: ???
(4:10) skeleboner to shark tank fanclub:
skeleboner: y'all
m0thman: don't appropriate my culture Lance
skeleboner: first off you whities have been appropriating my culture since the beginning of time so shut your quiznak
m0thman: o h
skeleboner: BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING B4 I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED
skeleboner: so I watched despicable me 3 for the first time
skeleboner: with my cousin
skeleboner: and I've decided that's it's not that bad
pidgeotto: d i e
ghostboi: nononono he's got a point
ghostboi: like as far as movies go it's kinda cute and heartwarming
ghostboi: Facebook minion memes aside
BOO!: yeah actually I enjoyed it
rejection: are we just gonna ignore the fact that Shiro is gru?
skeleboner: BICHT W HAT
pidgeotto: ?!?!?!
pidgeotto: h o w ? ?
rejection: they're both shaped like a Dorito
skeleboner: AHSKJB
pumpkinspice: I have
pumpkinspice: no words,,
pumpkinspice: I thought to myself 'hey I haven't checked the chat in awhile’
pumpkinspice:and THIS is what I come back to
skeleboner: oh babbbe
skeleboner: my precious little gru
pumpkinspice: nO
skeleboner: YES
candycorn: Shiro should be gru for Halloween
m0thman: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
pidgeotto: I would actually cry
pidgeotto: please no
candycorn: it would be so cute though!
skeleboner: and I could be your sexy minion
candycorn: …
ghostboi: …
m0thman: …
BOO!: …
rejection: …
pidgeotto: are you
pidgeotto: are you implying that,,
pidgeotto: gru is,,
pidgeotto: fucking the minions
skeleboner: are you implying that he isn't?
m0thman: Lance whAT THE FUCK
rejection: I'm
rejection: I have no words
BOO!: lance I love you bro but this is too much
pumpkinspice: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
skeleboner: idk man there's something fishy goin on there
skeleboner: have you SEEN how thiccc Dave is in minions?
m0thman: top ten questions scientists can't answer: is gru sticking his meat in that yellow tush™
BOO!: how do you delete someone else's message?¿
(5:43 pm) ghostboi to pidgeotto:
ghostboi: I'll pay you to hack into Shiro's account and change his name to gru
pidgeotto: no need for money but I'll take it
pidgeotto: >:))
ghostboi: hh
pidgeotto: love you~
shark tank fanclub:
pumpkinspice changed their name to gru
gru: WHAT THE
gru: I swear to God this wasn't me wtf
ghostboi: AHAHA
gru: matt did you do this??????
gru: I'm trying to change it back but it's not working
gru: HELP
skeleboner: oh my fucking god
skeleboner: hold on let me screenshot this
ghostboi: I WISH I DID THIS LMAOO
pidgeotto: wow Shiro fucks minions confirmed?
skeleboner: OMFG
skeleboner: this is????? the funniest thing????
rejection: GRU OMG
gru: guys this isn't funny I CANT CHANGE IT
m0thman: local dad can't figure out how to change his name in his phone
m0thman: you'll never believe what happens next!
ghostboi: okay there Gloria borger
skeleboner: is that a fuckinn
skeleboner: pewdiepie reference?¿
candycorn: I really don't like PewDiePie I don't think he's funny
pidgeotto: t r a s h
skeleboner: he's not THAT BAD GUYS
skeleboner: he got funnier ok
pidgeotto: he murders memes
skeleboner: okay but why did you reference meme review if you hate him so much
skeleboner: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
m0thman: exposed
pidgeotto: I may or may not
pidgeotto: watch his videos
pidgeotto: BUT ONLY WHEN IM BORED OK
skeleboner: a likely story
ghostboi: she full of it I've seen her YouTube history
ghostboi: she watches him all the time
rejection: it really do be like that
candycorn: smh my head
skeleboner: GOOD JOB SHAY
ghostboi: Shay??? memeing???? it's more likely than you'd think
BOO!: #proudboyfriend
m0thman: ya know I never thought I'd see the day
candycorn: aww guys!
gru: OKAY BUT WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW IVE BEEN HACKED
gru: AND AM NOW STUCK AS GRU
BOO!: sorry bud I think you're stuck like that
gru: PIDGE PLEASE HELP
pidgeotto: hmm,,,,
pidgeotto: let me think about it,,,,
pidgeotto: yeah no sorry
gru: f uk
Chapter Text
BOO! to shark tank fanclub:
BOO!: did you guys get invited to rolo's party next Friday?
skeleboner: yupyup
skeleboner: me and Rolo are like bff's
BOO!: you big liar
skeleboner: okay so we kinda are friends
skeleboner: we hung out a few times when me and Nyma were dating
ghostboi: I'm going
ghostboi: Nyma invited me
skeleboner: oooOOOOOOOoooooOoooooohhhh
skeleboner: a date?
ghostboi: hh idk
ghostboi: I mean I hope?
skeleboner: AW
BOO!: snake
skeleboner: huuunk
skeleboner: we talked about this
candycorn: ^^
candycorn: we're all going to be civil
BOO!: fine
BOO!: but if I'm going to be civil with Nyma then Lance has to be civil with lotor
skeleboner: oh ew
skeleboner: nvm be as mean as u want
candycorn: Lance
skeleboner: she's doing the mom face isn't she?
BOO!: yeah
skeleboner: f uck
skeleboner: fine I will be CIVIL
skeleboner: but only bc of you Shay
rejection: didn't you say the same thing like two days ago and says it was only bc of me?
skeleboner: okay yeah but you're mean so I changed my mind
gru: Lotor did tell him to eat a dick, Allura
skeleboner: THANK YOU!!
rejection: right after lance said his opinion was invalid bc no one likes him
ghostboi: dayum
m0thman: kitty got claws
skeleboner: shut up furry
m0thman: uhm wasn't it confirmed that YOU'RE the furry?
pidgeotto: Keith you'll always be the furry of the group no matter how many times Lance proves that it's really him
m0thman: are you fuckin
m0thman: UGH
gru: at least you're not stuck as gru
merbitch to thot squad:
merbitch: play rehearsal today!!!
bubbles: we can FINALLY be Christine
bubbles: :D
skeleboner: I'm really excited,,,, like,,,,, uGh
lalalalalala: honestly same I can't wait to be AUDREY AHH
skeleboner: okay but are you excited to smorch Matt
skeleboner: ;)))
lalalalalala: UHM
merbitch: oH SHIT GIVE ME THE TEA
merbitch: do you like matt?????????
rejection: the plot THICKENS
lalalalalala: he's cute idk
lalalalalala: but
rejection: but?
skeleboner: heh butt
lalalalalala: I think most of his friends hate me
lalalalalala: other than you and Lance
rejection: … not ALL of them
skeleboner: I tried to make them like you I SWEAR
rejection: it's mostly hunk tbh
lalalalalala: yeah I can feel him glaring at me like 24/7
lalalalalala: I apologized so I don't see the problem
skeleboner: hmm
skeleboner: you apologized to me but maybe you need to apologise to him?
skeleboner: idk he was pretty hurt about what happened
lalalalalala: really?
skeleboner: I mean you guys weren't like close but he still considered you a friend
skeleboner: idk maybe that's why he's so upset
lalalalalala: I'll talk to him after rehearsal tonight
merbitch: okay but are u gonna fuck Matt
buttercup: oh gross heteros
(3:16 pm) ghostboi to shark tank fanclub:
ghostboi: so are we just gonna sleep on “may I have a piece of drink water?”
pidgeotto: ??
ghostboi: you were high when hunk told the story ugH
ghostboi: just scroll up I'm toolazy to screenshot
pidgeotto: LMAO
pidgeotto: Lance you are,,,, special
skeleboner: ya know what
pidgeotto: oh god he's been typing for awhile
pidgeotto: bet it's a rant of some sorts
skeleboner: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
pidgeotto: did you type that?
pidgeotto: or was that copy and paste?
m0thman: top ten questions scientists can't answer
(5:02 pm) merbitch added skeleboner, rejection, ghostboi, lalalalalala, L'oreal, bubbles, buttercup, mojojojo, candycorn, BOO!, m0thman, pidgeotto, blaze_it, queenLuxia, yoohoo, SlavaLamp, flowergirl, and gru to PLAY REHEARSAL BITCHES!!!
merbitch: So this is obviously for everyone in the play including backstage!!
merbitch: to start off we should do some introductions
merbitch: bc there's some obvious new names and the reader might get confused
skeleboner: damn plax breakin the fourth wall smh my head
skeleboner: anyway I'm Lance, I play Scrivello, you know the drill
merbitch: (I'm hot and pissed and on the pill)
skeleboner: FUCK NICE REFERENCE
merbitch: I try :)
merbitch: anyway yeah I'm obviously plaxum
ghostboi: ya boi matt, who plays Seymour
flowergirl: Florona!! I'm working on props
queenLuxia: Quite obviously I'm Mrs. Luxia.
queenLuxia: I would prefer it if you all didn't swear too much in the chat.
queenLuxia: But I know you will so as a result I will most likely not be checking in too often in order to protect my opinions of you all.
pidgeotto: it me, pidge,,,,, head of tech
rejection: Allura, part of the chorus
L'oreal: I'm Lotor, and I play Mushnik
lalalalalala: move over biatch, it's Nyma
bubbles: Ezor, also in chorus
gru: Shiro, backstage
gru: ignore the name,,,,,
mojojojo: zethrid, backstage
candycorn: Shay, backstage too
yoohoo: Sven, also backstage
skeleboner: OH SHIT HI SVEN
skeleboner: I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS YOUR @
yoohoo: yes hi Lance
skeleboner: :DDDDD
SlavaLamp: Slav, working house crew
gru: godfuck
gru: uggggGGGGHHHhhhHHHhHHhh
m0thman: Keith,,, Lance dragged me into working backstage
skeleboner: >:))
BOO!: Hunk!! also in backstage
merbitch: I think that's everyone??
merbitch: idk the author is tired so you should know the rest
candycorn: *gasp*
merbitch: anyWAY YEAH HI WELCOME TO THE CAST
skeleboner: so me and plax discussed this
skeleboner: basically this is a chat just to hear about updates and maybe make friends?
skeleboner: so try not to fight in the chat
skeleboner: *cough* hunk, lotor, shiro *cough*
gru: it's not my fault slav is an annoying pice of shit
BOO!: I agreed to play nice already
L'oreal: okay Lance you're the one always starting shit
lalalalalala: okay but how did your grudge even start??
skeleboner: ugghhhhHhh fine
skeleboner: so at first I didn't like Lotor because of his stupid pretty hair
skeleboner: and I didn't trust him idk he looks like a snake
skeleboner: so he tried to,, show me some of his poetry freshman year?
skeleboner: and I totally bashed on him for it
skeleboner: so now we hate each other
merbitch: Lance!
skeleboner: in my defense it was really edgy
L'oreal: he has a point
L'oreal: I think I wrote, and I'm quoting here, “there are more demons in my head than stars in the sky”
m0thman: and I though I was edgy lmao
lalalalalala: yikes
skeleboner: so to start off on good terms I guess,,,,,,,
skeleboner: Lotor, I'm sorry for insulting your stupid poetry
L'oreal: and im sorry for calling you a fat whore
BOO!: UH EXCUSE ME
skeleboner: oh fuck
BOO!: YOU DID WHAT?
L'oreal: I shouldn't have done it but I was upset at the time
L'oreal: there was,,, alot going on
BOO!: Lance why didn't you tell me this fake ass hoe called you fat
BOO!: is that why you went all nutty about Heath and working out freshman year?
BOO!: and ended up in the hospital????????
skeleboner: kinda? idk it doesn't matter
gru: hold on
gru: WHAT?
BOO!: he overworked himself and wasn't eating and shit so he collapsed one day and missed like a week of school
gru: you told us it was because your cat died
skeleboner: motherfucker
skeleboner: are you fucking kidding me
skeleboner: Hunk I told you not to tell anyone
skeleboner: Why the hell did you decide to text the whole story in a chat with almost 20 fucking people
skeleboner: ONE OF WHICH IS A TEACHER
m0thman: I am,,, concerned,
m0thman: Lance are you,, okay?
skeleboner: obviously not, Keith
skeleboner has left the chat
Notes:
lmao I told you it would get angsty,,, next chapter is worse lmao // oops ANYWAY yeah sorry about the cliffhanger and whatnot but the next chapter should be up sometime today or tomorrow so yeee
as usual I'm available on Tumblr, Instagram, and twitter. come call me a minion fucker idk,,
Chapter 9: uH
Summary:
the aftermath uwu
Notes:
ao3 crashed like 3 times while posting this imma kermit,,,,
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(5:30 pm) lalalalalala to PLAY REHEARSAL BITCHES!!!:
lalalalalala: um
lalalalalala: that was….
bubbles: should we
bubbles: talk to him?
rejection: honestly I think he's being overdramatic
rejection: he'll get over it in an hour or two,, his tantrums never last long
candycorn: that's a bit.. rude
rejection: it's the truth
L'oreal: that may be but you're his friend and shouldn't talk like that behind his back
candycorn: or in general, Allura
rejection: whatever I'm done with his drama
merbitch: ooooookay then
merbitch: …
(5:30 pm) BOO! to skeleboner:
BOO!: Lance are you okay?
BOO!: I'm sorry about telling everyone
BOO!: it was really out of line
skeleboner: yeah it was
BOO!: I'm really sorry
skeleboner: I know
skeleboner: …
skeleboner: what pisses me off the most is that you keep doing this
BOO!: wym
skeleboner: it's the whole situation with Nyma all over again where you told everyone about why we broke up
skeleboner: you are always telling people who have no right to my business like that
BOO!: I apologized for that!
skeleboner: just like you're doing now!
skeleboner: but apologies mean nothing if you aren't changing the behavior
skeleboner: you can't just keep doing the same thing over and over and expect to be forgiven just because you apologize
skeleboner: it's not fair to me at all
BOO!: I've been trying, Lance
BOO!: I kept you and Shiro a secret, didn't I?
skeleboner: oh yeah you kept a secret for like two days
skeleboner: big whoop
BOO!: now you're just being dramatic
skeleboner: are you fucking serious
BOO!: You're blowing this way out of proportion just like you always do
BOO!: something minor happens and you throw a fit until someone pities you and apologizes
skeleboner: seriously?
BOO!: yes, Lance. It's unfair to everyone around you
BOO!: all you ever do is make something into something bigger
skeleboner: are you saying that what I'm feeling is, what?
skeleboner: invalid?
BOO!: No, Lance
BOO!: I'm saying that I'm not the only one at fault here
BOO!: you're being unreasonable and overreacting
skeleboner: NO
skeleboner: YOU TILD EVERYONE SOMETHING THAT WAS PRIVATE TO ME
skeleboner: SOMETHING THAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE
BOO!: IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL
BOO!: THEYRE ALL YOUR FRIENDS
skeleboner: BUT I DIDNT WANT THEM TO KNOW HUNK
skeleboner: YOU BROKE A PROMISE TO ME! THATS WHY IM SO UPSET
BOO!: Lance I can't deal with your overdramatic bullshit right now
BOO!: because I'm always the one dealing with your shit and I'm sick of it
skeleboner: fuck off then!
skeleboner: don't deal with my shit ever see if I fucking care
BOO!: you're doING IT AGAIN
BOO!: I DIDN'T SAY THAT
BOO!: ALL I SAID WAS THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHTNOW
skeleboner: You are such an asshole
BOO!: LISTEN
BOO!: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DELT WITH YOUR LITTLE TANTRUMS
BOO!: AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THANKED ME???
BOO!: oh, that's right, NEVER
skeleboner: So you're gonna make this about you?
BOO!: ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT ME
BOO!: it's always been about you, Lance, and I'm sick of it
skeleboner: fuck off hunk
skeleboner: don't try to fucking talk to me again
skeleboner has blocked BOO!
skeleboner has left shark tank fanclub
skeleboner has left the three amigos
(7:06 am) pidgeotto to shark tank fanclub:
pidgeotto: so what happened last night
pidgeotto: hunk?
BOO!: I don't really want to talk about it, honestly
BOO!: I'm still mad
candycorn: you two fought?
BOO!: this is our first ever real fight
BOO!: I'm just,, not ready to talk to him yet
m0thman: I feel
ghostboi: so,,,,
ghostboi: what's up?
ghostboi: other than that whole clusterfuck
m0thman: I'm just watching youtube
pidgeotto: same lmao
gru: you should both be getting ready for school
pidgeotto: ugHh
m0thman: dad mode yuck
m0thman: I am ready I'm just waiting a bit before I leave
ghostboi: you ride your board to school right?
m0thman: yeah
ghostboi: sHe SaId He’S a Sk8Er BoI sHe SaId SeE yA l8Er BoI
m0thman: eradicate yourself
pidgeotto: can Avril Levine just,,,,, not ever be quoted again?
ghostboi: smh what's wrong with my girl Levine
m0thman: okay yeah she had decent music early 2000s
m0thman: complicated was a bop for sure
m0thman: but she turned into some weird pop kawaii freak
pidgeotto: ^^
pidgeotto: have you heard her Hello Kitty song?
m0thman: it's disgusting
ghostboi: if Lance were here he would back up my girl with me :’((
m0thman: that's bc Lance thinks Beyonce is music
rejection: okay there MCR
m0thman: I don't listen to MCR
m0thman : I used to like them like,,,,, two years ago
pidgeotto: once an emo always an emo
m0thman: fuck you guys
(10:55 am) ghostboi to shark tank fanclub:
ghostboi: hey Shiro
ghostboi: where the fuck is lance?
gru: wym
ghostboi: he's not at our lunch spot
gru: idk man he hasn't talked to me all day
rejection: of course he hasn't
gru: what's that supposed to mean?
rejection: nothing
pidgeotto: …
(10:57 am) gru to skeleboner:
gru: hey where are you?
skeleboner: I'm taking a break from hunk
skeleboner: so I'm hanging out with Plax and Flora
skeleboner: and Nyma
skeleboner: they all say hi
skeleboner: and plax says she wants you to hold her in your superior dad arms
skeleboner: bicth me too
gru: lmao okay
gru: so I'll see you later though right?
skeleboner: as long as hunk isn't around then yeah
skeleboner: hey actually can you drive me home after rehearsal?
skeleboner: me and hunk usually carpool
gru: yeah totally
gru: I live you
gru: love**
gru: lol
skeleboner: …
skeleboner: I love you too
(11:01 am) gru to shark tank fanclub:
gru: he says hes taking a break
gru: and that he's with Plaxum, Florona, and Nyma
pidgeotto: o h
rejection: of course
(5:03 pm) skeleboner to rejection:
skeleboner: hey lura
skeleboner: are you mad at me?
rejection: what gave you that impression
skeleboner: you were just,, idk kinda cold during rehearsal
rejection: I'm a little mad
skeleboner: about what?
rejection: about what happened with lotor
skeleboner: I apologized to him
skeleboner: I haven't said a single mean thing to him
rejection: I'm mad about what happened freshman year
rejection: you just,, judged him without even getting to know him
skeleboner: you did the same thing!
skeleboner: both with him and with Keith
skeleboner: because you didn't like their parents
rejection: it's different
skeleboner: no???? it's kinda not
skeleboner: and besides
skeleboner: what he said literally put me in the hospital
skeleboner: you're gonna take his side on this??
rejection: okay no
rejection: you blew what he said way out of proportion
rejection: yeah okay he called you a fat whore whatever
rejection: he didn't tell you to starve yourself for no reason
skeleboner: he made me have a mental breakdown
rejection: over a few words? after you had already insulted him?
rejection: if you can't handle the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen Lance
rejection: you can't just take Evey little comment to heart
rejection: every**
rejection: it's pathetic
skeleboner: ARE YOU CALLING ME PATHETIC??
rejection: yeah Lance
rejection: how you reacted was pathetic
rejection: back in freshman year and last night
skeleboner: fuck
skeleboner: you
skeleboner has blocked rejection
skeleboner has left the thot squad
skeleboner changed their name to lanceylance
(5:12 pm) lanceylance to gru:
lanceylance: fcuk
lanceylance: Shiro canuou comw ovre
gru: ah shit Lance no sorry
gru: I'm babysitting for my uncle
gru: why what's wrong
lanceylance: everuthinf id falling apaty
gru: fuck what happened honey
lanceylance: fuck give me a minute
lanceylance: Allura and I got into a fight
gru: what??
lanceylance: yeah
lanceylance: she started chewing me out for the whole Lotor drama and called me pathetic
lanceylance: and I'm just
lanceylance: right after everything with hunk
lanceylance: I'm kinda da freaking out
gru: what exactly did hunk say?
gru: you never told me
lanceylance: he basically said that I make everything about me and that I'm way too dramatic
lanceylance: all because I said he needs to stop telling everyone my business
gru: you're entitled to the way you feel
gru: you just,, feel everything 10x stronger than the rest of us do
lanceylance: I'm just sick of him telling people things that are private
gru: well..
gru: you know he means well
gru: you tend to bottle things up and he was just trying to help
gru: you can't just only rely on hunk to handle your problems
lanceylance: you too?
lanceylance: why is everyone just shitting on me today???
gru: nonono I'm just saying you should open up more
gru: relying on just hunk is putting strain on your friendship
lanceylance: Shiro I can't just open up that easily
lanceylance: Obviously hunk has proven I can't trust anyone
gru: you can trust me
lanceylance: that's not how trust works Shiro
lanceylance: I can't just wake up one day and believe that if I tell you all my baggage that you'll just,, accept me
gru: Lance I'm your boyfriend of course I'll accept you
gru: idk sometimes I feel like I barely know you
gru: you never tell me what's really bothering you
gru: it just hurts that you don't trust me
lanceylance: I can't just do that Shiro!
lanceylance: you're not understanding
lanceylance: I don't deserve you
lanceylance: I'm just,,, I'm gonna go
lanceylance: I need to take some time to think
lanceylance has deleted their account.
Notes:
pls dont hate allura :( aNd dont worry the drama will b over in like,,,,,, two chapters idk shitposting will return soon uwu
Chapter 10: DRAMA ALERT WITH KILLER KEEMSTAR
Summary:
the plan uwu
Notes:
is keemstar still funny?? ,,,no????? oH wEll,,
anyway this chap is rlly short yeet i just wanted to start to get things fixed while i debate on where to go after this arc lol come hmu on tumblr and i most likey will put any of your ideas into this bad boy bc im lost lol PLS IM DESPERATE FOR HELP UWU
Chapter Text
(8:11 pm) ghostboi added pidgeotto, candycorn, m0thman, gru, merbitch, and lalalalalala to DRAMA ALERT
ghostboi: so we need to fix this
m0thman: yeah we do
merbitch: everything going on with Lance?
ghostboi: yeah bc it's gotten out of hand
ghostboi: he deleted his account and isn't responding to any of our calls or texts
gru: we had a bit of an argument before he deleted the account
gru: it's my fault
pidgeotto: are you fucking
pidgeotto: let's start from the beginning
pidgeotto: this all started bc hunk told us about why he was in the hospital, correct?
gru: yeah
m0thman: okay so how the fuck did it end up like this??
gru: okay
gru: so this is just what I got from Lance
gru: apparently hunk texted him and apologized
gru: but Lance was upset because hunk broke his promise to keep it a secret
gru: and hunk told him that Lance was being over dramatic and that Lance needed to stop expecting him to deal with all of his baggage
pidgeotto: that's kinda,, fucked
gru: and after rehearsal today Lance texted Allura
gru: and apparently Allura was mad about how he treated Lotor without even knowing him
gru: and called Lance pathetic bc he had a breakdown over what Lotor said
m0thman: okay but Allura has prejudice issues too????
m0thman: how long did it take for her to warm up to me??
pidgeotto: wait you're saying she called him pathetic?
merbitch: wtf can I fight her
ghostboi: fuck okay and what did you two fight about
gru: it wasn't.. really a fight
gru: he told me what happened and I said that he shouldn't rely on only hunk for his problems
gru: and that he should rely on us more bc it's stressing hunk out
gru: he said it's not that easy and that he can't just expect us to accept him??
ghostboi: so the main issue here is Lance's trust issues
ghostboi: this all started bc Lance thought he could trust hunk, and hunk broke that trust
lalalalalala: okay but what about Allura
candycorn: I think Allura is projecting onto Lance
candycorn: she doesn't realize that her and him were the same in their prejudice and wants to rectify her own actions by putting down Lance
candycorn: And her own feelings over Lance being “overdramatic” are most likely an accumulation of frustration over Lance's habit of getting upset easily
candycorn: so part of the issue is Lance's trust issues and part of it is Allura's frustration at being unable to help Lance with his emotional rollercoaster
ghostboi: o h
pidgeotto: that was,, really good Shay wtf
lalalalalala: okay but we need to figure out the cause of Lance's emotional turmoil
lalalalalala: in order to fix this
gru: the cause?
gru: wouldn't the cause of his turmoil be himself???
gru: I mean isn't he just an emotional person in general?
m0thman: not really
m0thman: I mean kinda yeah he tends to be on the emotional side but this is different
m0thman: there's gotta be something going on, probably at home, that he refuses to tell us
pidgeotto: he doesn't want to burden us
pidgeotto: that's the problem
gru: what do you think is going on at home?
gru: he hasn't mentioned anything
merbitch: I can try to talk to him mom
merbitch: lmao him I sound like a caveman
merbitch: I meant his*
merbitch: me, hunk, and Lance grew up on the same street so that's how we know each other
lalalalalala: I didn't know that..
merbitch: it just never came up I guess
merbitch: I'll talk to him tomorrow and if that doesn't work I'll ask his mom
ghostboi: Pidge, Keith
ghostboi: try to talk to him during Latin
ghostboi: don't pressure him or anything just let him know that you're there
pidgeotto: ofc
ghostboi: me and Shiro will handle Allura
ghostboi: and I'll need plax and Shay to talk down hunk
candycorn: we'll try our best
gru: I hope this works
gru: bc I really don't like not talking to lance
pidgeotto: it is pretty weird
ghostboi: as a wise man once said:
ghostboi: can we fix it?
ghostboi: yes we can!
lalalalalala: is that fuckin,,, Bob the builder
ghostboi: yes
lalalalalala: fuck that's hot
Chapter 11: resolution?? KINDA????
Notes:
wow I barely resolved anything o o p s,,,
yeah idk I took a break halfway through writing this chapter and I came back like a month later so it probably doesn't flow,,, and I got lazy lmao
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(7:42 am) ghostboi to the crush corner™:
ghostboi: yoyo
ghostboi: is that worksheet due today??
rejection: the cannon bard one?
ghostboi: ya
rejection: oh then yes it's due by the end of the period
rejection: you should be able to get it done by then
ghostboi: okay but,,,, hear me out,,,,
ghostboi: procrastination
rejection: Matt
rejection: don't be dumb and do your work for once
rejection: you can't keep not doing it and then complaining about your grades
gru: Allura it was a joke calm down
rejection: whatever
gru: are you,, okay?
rejection: ugh I'm sorry about having such a short temper
rejection: I'm just really stressed it feels like I'm trying to do way too much all at once
rejection: between my four AP classes and all of the clubs
rejection: it's,, a lot
ghostboi: listen
ghostboi: I understand being stressed
ghostboi: but lately you've been lashing out on the wrong people
rejection: I just apologized??
ghostboi: not just us
ghostboi: Lance too
rejection: seriously?
rejection: I don't want to talk about Lance
gru: honestly Allura I don't care if you don't want to talk about what happened
gru: I don't care how stressed you are that doesn't give you the right to call your friend pathetic
rejection: he was acting like a toddler and I'm sick of it
gru: Listen to me.
gru: He didn't deserve what you said to him, regardless if he was overreacting or not
gru: you're his friend and are supposed to be there for him
rejection: well maybe I don't want to be
ghostboi: bullshit
ghostboi: you two have been friends since 6th grade
rejection: I don't want to talk about this right now
ghostboi: you know what? fine.
ghostboi: but you're ruining your relationships
(10:10 am) candycorn to BOO!:
candycorn: hey babe
candycorn: how are you doing?
BOO!: shitty
BOO!: I hate being mad at Lance
candycorn: you never told me what happened
BOO!: I apologized
BOO!: and he was upset because I do the same thing and expect an apology to fix everything
BOO!: I feel bad for telling everyone
candycorn: I know you didn't mean to
BOO!: I keep breaking his trust
candycorn: you know he still loves you, right?
BOO!: Of course
BOO!: he's just,, stressing me out
BOO!: I know there's something going on with his dad but he won't tell me what and
BOO!: I just hate feeling helpless
BOO!: and I hate that he won't trust any of our other friends
candycorn: listen
candycorn: Lance's problem is that he doesn't want to burden us all with his issues
candycorn: I think he feels like he's not worthy of having all of us as friends and he doesn't want to tell anyone what's wrong because he's not only scared of burdening us all
candycorn: but also because he's scared we won't love him if he does tell us what's wrong
BOO!: We need to talk this out but I'm not sure how
candycorn: we have everyone trying to diffuse the situation
BOO!: the situation? is there more?
candycorn: Allura and him fought as well
BOO!: oh shit
BOO!: what,, happened?
candycorn: it's not my business to tell but Lance is dealing with a lot
BOO!: we can fix this
candycorn: yes, we can
(1:08 pm) pidgeotto to DRAMA ALERT:
pidgeotto: so Keith and I tried talking to lance
pidgeotto: he wouldn't say anything
m0thman: he just deflected like he always does,,
gru: Allura was no help either
gru: she just went off on us
candycorn: Hunk wants to help
candycorn: can I add him in the chat?
ghostboi: as long as he's willing to help
candycorn: he is
ghostboi: then I don't see why not
candycorn has added BOO! to DRAMA ALERT
BOO!: we have a gc for everything lol
gru: ,,, I'm only in like three,,,,
gru: are there any about me¿
ghostboi: he's on to us
ghostboi: SCATTER!
pidgeotto: mulaney ref or no?
ghostboi: most definitely a mulaney reference
gru: off topic
BOO!: so what's the game plan
ghostboi: we already,,,, did it,,,,
gru: our plan failed miserably
gru: hunk
gru: you're our only hope
pidgeotto: OBI WAN
ghostboi: pidgiam,,,
ghostboi: s to p
BOO!: I'm gonna talk to him today
BOO!: I'll go to his house and corner him idk
BOO!: no more of this texting bullshit bc it's going nowhere
gru: keep us updated?
BOO!: ofc
(3:48 pm) BOO! to shark tank fanclub:
BOO!: Allura I know you're pissed at Lance so you probably don't care
BOO!: but I know everyone else in this chat does so I'm gonna tell you anyway
BOO!: (and yes, I got Lance's permission to tell you this)
BOO!: Lance's dad was just diagnosed with cancer so everything is really crazy rn
gru: o h
ghostboi: damn wow how long has he been,, hiding this?
BOO!: hey this is Lance using hunks phone
BOO!: I'm not activating my acc bc I need to like,,, relax lmao so yeet
BOO!: uhhhhm anyway dad was diagnosed like¿ a month ago?
pidgeotto: y the fcuk
pidgeotto: why didn't you,, tell us??
BOO!: idk it never came up
BOO!: I didn't want to bring down the mood or be overdramatic or something idk
gru: Lance that's not,,, overdramatic,,,,,
candycorn: ^^^^
BOO!: it's whatever I guess
m0thman: yo so,,, I know we joke a lot and 90% of our conversations are memes
m0thman: but we all care about you and we'll always be here for you
m0thman: you know I'm good at listening if there's ever something going on
BOO!: thanks keithy boy
BOO!: hunk wants his phone back so I'm gonna go
BOO!: probs won't hang with you guys at lunch still bc of Allura but I'll still see you tomorrow
pidgeotto: bye Lance
ghostboi: w ow,,,
gru: so hunk does that mean you guys made up?
BOO!: yep!
BOO!: I'm actually gonna go me and Lance are having a sleepover vent session
gru: oh okay
m0thman: god I wish I had friends
gru: shut your quiznak you sand goblin
m0thman: Lance is a bad influence,,,
(6:02 pm) rejection to the crush corner™:
rejection: I'm gonna talk to him
rejection: tomorrow
rejection: obviously his dad having cancer doesn't,, change how I feel
rejection: but I've been doing some thinking and most of this while thing was blown out of proportion by me , not lance
ghostboi: good
ghostboi: I'm tired of our group being split in half
gru: maybe this will finally be back to a dumb shitpost next chapter,,,
gru: all this drama and no crack had me,,,, uncomfy,,,
ghostboi: back at it again with breaking the fourth wall smh my head
rejection: at least he's not gay
rejection: OH WAIT
gru: excuse you I'm pan you filthy alien
ghostboi: it really do be like that,,,
Notes:
yeah back to our regularly scheduled shitpost next chapter don't worry I'm done venting ALSO IM STARTING LIKE A COMIC ON INSTA WHERE IT’S BASICALLY THIS SO YEAH DJAHI PLS COME CHECK IT OUT HERE
BC IM ENJOYING MYSELF uwu AND IM PROBABLY GONNA QUIT POSTING ON AO3 IF THE COMIC GOES WELL AND JUST START POSTING THERE IDK WE'LL SEE
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