Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Keith’s eyes had learnt to adjust to countless shades of purple. 

He’d become adjusted to mauve walls and violet floors. He’d become adjusted to lights of sangria and armour decorated in mulberry. All shades contrasted by shadow, sinking into a colour that matched the void outside the windows he ran past.

Running sounded like such a violent action. In truth, Keith found himself feeling calmer running then doing much else. Hiding and crouching left him in more silence, he could hear his own thumping heart in that silence. The roaring of blood in his ears, the breaths that he took. They became distractions, so in running he found peace.

It was difficult to try and ignore that sound of his thumping heart. Keith had gone days without speaking and days without being spoken too. He was entirely alone. Just him, his thumping heart and an entire battle cruiser worth of a Galra Soldiers.

He didn’t feel that original fear he felt when he first started those missions. Boarding battlecruisers, being amongst the enemy. Outnumbered; one to a thousand. Instead, he slipped into shadows and became one with deception itself. As a Blade Of Marmora, silence had become the music of his life.

This mission was similar to many that he’d done before. The plan was simple; board the ship, transfer the information, leave undetected. Strange to think he had begun to feel at home lingering in the enemy’s shadows.

The Galran ship was posted in the strangest location. A section of space home to absolutely nothing. Asteroids and space junk made its home amongst that nothingness, travelling aimlessly. When Keith has been debriefed with the plan he’d accepted with no questions, as usual, but he couldn’t help but wonder why there? A Galran ship with seemingly no strategic standpoint seemed to be of both more importance and somehow also less importance.

The Blades had issues calling the bluffs with it. Was the ship nothing because it was amongst nothing? Was it important by hiding amongst nothing? Had their sources been misleading? Had they hoped to send the Blades to the distant reaches of the galaxy in search of nothing? The Blades’ sources hadn’t been as trustworthy as they’d always been prior. With the death of Zarkon, Lotor’s alliance with the Paladins of Voltron and the chaos of the Empire- the truth was becoming more of a rarity then it had ever been.

I dream in red. Of the things. That this world could be. And is not.

Voltron has seemingly disappeared along with the Empire. After Keith had returned from his mission with Krolia, he hadn’t heard anything from them. Neither had the Blades. The Paladins, the Lions, even Lotor had disappeared from the scene entirely. He remembered when he’d made it back to base, he’d been pulled aside. They’d spoken frankly, blatantly and with no coating of sugar.

“Voltron has been silent. They haven’t been seen for over a week now. Have you been in contact?”

Keith had exchanged a look with Krolia, who had no reaction but to stare at her son and move her head in the slightest to indicate she’d not heard anything from the Galra. Keith had made the same gesture with a furrowed brow.

“We trust you’ll try to make contact the Paladins. We trust you won’t go looking yourself.”

Keith had pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed.

“I’ve not let you down yet.” He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t. However, he’d been a Blade Of Marmora for so long he’d forgotten what it was like to be entirely selfless. What the Blades did, the sacrifices they made, it was all for the good cause. He wouldn’t look for Voltron not because he didn’t care, but because he did care. Keith knew his return would divide the team, so he would not return.

“We have minimal concern, Voltron has gotten us this far. We assume they’re keeping a low profile intentionally. They’re planning something with Lotor while the Empire is in ashes. We trust you won’t go looking .”

He had not gone looking.

It didn’t stop him from wondering. What plan was important enough to keep a secret from their closest allies? Keith had hoped this ship- out in the middle of the emptiest of empty space- could give him some sort of indication. Any lead he found he wouldn’t dare chase, he’d get someone else too, however. Keith wanted to do it personally and the idea of hiring someone to scout out the Lions was far from his first choice. But he had limited choices.

He worked better as a Blade. As an individual. As a person who put the mission before the emotion. Keith had minimal faith in his emotions; from his time in Voltron, he’d worried he’d been a burden. He’d felt somewhat at home in the Red lion but, after Shiro’s disappearance, everything changed. The Black Lion was something he wasn’t ready for and he’d learnt he was much better suited to be an individual soldier.

A loner.

So he’d follow the Blade’s every command to that point. He slowed down at the sound of chatter. Voices bouncing off those orchid walls and reaching his ears through his hood. He sunk down, into the shadow under a long window. It stretched out across most of the corridor but had been too tinted to see anything through. Until the light switched on.

I walk in the glow. Of a thousand candles. Burning, burning slow.

Wine-stained light beamed through the glass, becoming softer as it reached the floor. Keith pressed himself further into that shadow, careful to not touch the light dancing across the floor as figures moved in the room.

“....has been extracted.” Keith only picked up the last fragment of the sentence as he leant closer to the door.
“The boss will be pleased. Dare I say impressed. This will ensure the Galra rise once more... Vrepit Sa!”
“Vrepit Sa!”

Keith kept crouched by the door, moving just out of sight as the Galra General exited the room. Keith couldn’t see much detail on his face as shadow engulfed most of it. His eyes, however, glowed in a simmering amber amongst the darkness. It was the kind of colour that Keith identified as evil; he no longer associated yellows and oranges with sunsets and flowers. Instead, where there was yellow, all he saw was crimson. Brutal bloodshed and total massacre.

The same blood ran through Keith’s veins. It was sometimes hard for him to comprehend that.

As the General’s footsteps became distant, Keith peered around the door. From his crouched state he could see only a little. A metal table in the middle of the table, from where he crouched he could only see what looked like white shoes. They were laceless, slip on shoes with soles so thin that they seemed impractical. Three of four walls were bare of anything, the remaining wall was stacked to the roof with equipment. Shelves upon shelves of the nastiest looking equipment Keith had ever laid eyes on. Blades and syringes, drills and chisels, either completely new and shining or rusting with the slighting amount of dried crimson.

Beside the table stood the other Galran. His lower face was covered with a black mask- one which Keith assumed was regulation for doctors to wear-  his eyes narrowed in concentration as he looked at whoever lay upon the surface. A hand dropped over the side of the table, limp and lifeless. Their fingers were like chalk sticks; thin, fragile and close to snapping. Nails were chipped and skin was dirtied with grime and blood long dried.

With a quick breath, Keith sprinted into the room. The Galran didn’t expect it, he cried out and stumbled backward, grabbing one of the knives sitting on a shelf beside him. But it was too late. Keith slid in, threw his arm up to intercept the wrist swinging the blade. He quickly caught the Galran’s leg with his foot sharply and knocked his legs out from under him. The Galran hit the floor with a horrific thump, Keith could hear the oxygen escape his lungs. He kicked out again with just as much strength, bringing his foot sharply down against the Galran’s face. Keith heard his nose snap, felt his cheekbone buckle. He watched the crimson bubble from his nose, aware of the stillness of the Galran’s chest.

He was not going to stand back up anytime soon.

Lightly panting, Keith shook the beads of crimson from his shoes. He looked over the equipment stacked against the wall. Some of the rusted blades made him flinch, they had been left blunt and uncared for. There seemed to be nothing of usefulness. He turned to the table and froze. The body on the table was no random victim. It was no poor prisoner of war Keith had never met and wouldn’t meet again. He was no slave, no servant of the Galra. No. The man that lay on the table was a Paladin of Voltron.

Blood. On the page. Of a thousand words. I've written. Can't express.

It had taken Keith a few ticks to acknowledge the man on the table, it took even longer to accept what he was witnessing. Across the stretch of metal lay Lance McClain. It had been hard to recognise him in his state. His eyes, although closed, were ringed with darkness. They seemed to sink into his skull beneath the skin that had gone from a gorgeous tan into being stained with a tinge of sickly grey.

The shoes Keith had been looking at moments beforehand looked worse from that angle. They were much too big, hanging loosely off his bony ankles. He was dressed in simple grey pants, made of a fabric Keith could only describe as rigid. He wore a thin, white tank top that looked as though it had been stretched previously. The material bunched up and hung loosely. Towards the upper right of Lance’s chest was a patch of growing red which had begun to bloom across the shirt.

Keith could see Lance’s ribs through that tank top, curves and dips casting shadows. Keith swallowed in fear at the sight of those caved in ribs and the jutting points that were his hip bones. His elbows had become much sharper, his jaw and cheekbones look as though he were sucking in. He looked almost shrivelled.

Keith bit down on his trembling lip to steady himself. He took a breath. He didn’t like that silence, he didn’t like the sound of his heart throbbing in his ears. A fear tingled in the tips of his fingers as he slowly lay them to rest on the shirt’s sleeve. As carefully as he could, Keith peeled the worn fabric down Lance’s chest to reveal the hidden horrors that lay underneath it. Just above Lance’s left collarbone was the start of what lead to be a gaping wound. It started as a thin slit, weaving over the dip by his collarbone before becoming wider. The wound was jagged, chunks of flesh were torn and divided across each edge of the wound. It thinned down to a stop near the middle of his chest.

The man lying before him on the table was not that man he knew Lance to be. The man on the table was the nightmare version of Lance. Dried lacerations tore their way through his skin growing paler, winding their way wider and deeper then Keith had ever considered humanly possible. All of which was accompanied by that single tear through his chest, it's stitching done in such a rush he could see the loose ends. Black thread wove it’s way through his skin without any direction, without any true desire to heal.

Memories washed over Keith. The sounds of beeping machines in medical, voices; both of people he knew and didn't, discussion which seemed serious. He could feel needles in his skin and drugs in his veins, a grip on his hand which occasionally appeared and disappeared. Lights dancing in his eyelids, the bitter taste of blood in his mouth. All interluded with long periods of nothingness. Keith considered how much he liked the feeling of fighting for good, but how downright awful it was to be caught in it. Keith remembered so many times he’d fallen to the ground bleeding from the punctures he couldn't count. Blood loss reaching him, landing in a pool of his own scarlet red. He could remember the tingling remains of consciousness as the world went black and silent. He remembered how dreadful waking up was. The aches, the pain, the bitter remains of blood lingering between teeth. As Keith looked at Lance he was flooded with sadness. Lance was going to hurt and he was going hurt immensely.

“Quiznak!” Keith hissed under his breath. This was bad . He looked at the time stamp projecting from his wrist; he had fifteen minutes until the patrol cruiser docked and analysed. “Argh!” Keith lashed out at the table, slamming his fists down in anger. The metal clang rang out and echoed the room.

Fifteen minutes wasn’t enough time.

Fifteen minutes was pushing it for the original mission, nevermind the situation unfolding before Keith. His mind ran wild, his thoughts a hurricane. Sentences were being torn apart, one would not finish before the next began. The mission came first. That had been drilled into Keith’s head since day one. That’s why he was a Blade Of Marmora. The complexities that came with emotional involvement had always put Keith in situations he didn’t want. He was comfortable pushing people away, never letting them in. The mission came first, and that was what drove Keith back out the door.

I walk in the light. Of a world I wish. I wish to set on fire.

Keith kept himself low to the ground, darkness filled the corridor. It seemed to swamp him, flooding his eyes and ears, hanging heavy in the air like smog. All he could see was a little flashing purple light a few meters away. The mission is more important. With each flash, he began to see the room. First, the eerie lilac light illuminated the desk, then a chair and slowly, he could see a control panel. Keith must've crouched there for five minutes, his legs sprained but eyes his eyes had to adjust. One foot at a time he snuck forward, tensed in preparation for a Galran soldier to be illuminated by the light at any second and lunge for him. The mission is more important. But Keith was alone in the small room, along with a flashing purple light. He reached the desk and stared directly at the light to see over fifty other buttons on the desk. He delicately lay his palm on the imprint. Then, a second later, he was blinded. But not by the darkness, by the light. The mission is more important. It shone into his eyes with an incredible power, causing him to shrink back and shield his eyes. He slammed my eyes closed hard enough to make them adjust, slowly the washed-out white became the world. Keith didn't like what he saw, it made his jaw and his heart simultaneously drop.

The instructions read: “terminate the Blue Paladin in T-10 Dobosh”

The mission was not more important.

Keith turned tail and returned to the room. This time he didn’t blend with the shadow, he avoided them. The quicker he could get back to the broken boy on the table, the sooner his heart could rest. Lance was just where Keith had left him and the moment Keith stepped foot in the room, he’d unsheathed his blade. Twirling it around in his fingers, he slit the restraints. It took mere effort but Keith stood back panting. He ran a hand through his hair to clear his eyes, standing back against the wall, lost. Against that wall, he remained motionless until he heard an inhale quicker than all those that had come before it. He whipped around as fast as he could, by the table in barely a mere moment. Lance’s face hadn’t moved in the slightest, Keith’s heart dropped. His hand unconsciously lay itself to rest against Lance’s cheek, trailing down his neck to hold below his ear. Keith’s thumb ran down Lance’s jawline, Lance’s eyelids fluttering slightly as he did so.

“Lance?!” The word had left Keith’s mouth without his permission. ”Can you hear me?”

His eyes opened.

They stared at the overhanging light, pupils shrinking instantaneously. They did not wander to look at Keith’s face, they did not dart back and forth in fear. They stared, harshly.

“Lance…?”

His eyes dragged over to meet Keith’s but they didn’t seem to change. Lance tilted his head and murmured,  

“Kage… I knew you’d find me…”

Through cracked lips painted in scarlet red.

Chapter Text

Now as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky

Lance could hear the words fall out of his mouth, they echoed in the silence that followed after he’d spoken. The voice sounded so foreign to him, he couldn’t remember what it had sounded like before- well he couldn’t remember that either. The bright lights of the medical room burned into his eyes even when he shut them leaving a burn mark of his surroundings on the back of his eyelids. He couldn’t do anything but move his head toward the warmth that stood next to him. His senses were instantly overtaken by what he could only describe as soaked firewood. He didn’t know how he knew what that was or if it was a real thing. All he knew was the smell was intoxicating. It was definitely Kage, he could remember that much. He could remember the heat of his lips on his as they sat by the ocean and listened to the waves, the electricity from his touch on his skin, the feeling of his hands running through his hair.

He could feel Kage tense against him, he could hear his voice break and echo around the room. Lance wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him it was going to be okay, that he’d be fine, that he was strong.

Strong

He didn’t feel strong, not anymore. His body ached, just inhaling sent pain throughout his muscles. He winced and choked on his own breath; he couldn’t help coughing. Blood splattered over Kage’s chest, he could see the bright red liquid drip down his darkened armour, he could see a pale hand reach out and try to wipe the blood. It shouldn’t have taken as long as it did for him to recognise his own hand, stained with clumps of dried blood and dirt against the now pale skin, his nails were chipped and bitten short. The skin was dry, gashes and splintered skin decorated the bases of his nails. He was broken out of the trance the skin of his hands had put him into when a deep voice whispered that they had to get out of there.

We bleed like watercolours and drunken pastels down the stairways.

“Lance, can you walk?” He whispered softly, his breath hot and comforting against his ear. All he could do was whine in response, keeping his head close to his chest and inhaling slowly. Kage took this as a no and picked him up, one arm holding onto his shoulders with the utmost care for the wound on his chest; the other reached under his fragile, skinny legs and he lifted him up.

Lance wasn’t sure why Kage tried to cover his sob as tears dripped down his face and onto the blue paladin's face. Slowly, with minimal movement Lance reached up and stroked the tears from his face, the movement felt so family, so normal he didn’t understand.

“Lance, you quiznaking idiot, just listen to me!” the other boy screamed at him, tears falling from his beautiful eyes. They were bloodshot and sunken like he’d gone days without rest. His cheeks had puffed up from the sobbing and he couldn’t help but think of how cute he looked with big cheeks even though now wasn’t the time.

“I have to do this, you don’t understand. You know your parents, you know where you come from. I don't! I haven’t known anything until now. I have to go with them. I have to find her...”

Lance stepped forward as the boy in front of him broken down further and cried harder. He slowly placed his hand on his cheek and wiped the tears with his thumb. He stared up into the beautiful yellow eyes that seemed to glow in the dark before pulling the taller boy down to his lips.

“I’m sorry Kage… I’ll wait for you, I promise.”

Lance had awoken to light taps on his cheek and a panicked voice telling him to wake up. He opened his eyes noticing almost instantly that his surroundings were different. The lights had returned to the dark wine colour he’d grown used to while to the floor was cold to touch. His pulse echoed in his ears, the rhythmic thumping caused his eyes to droop and his head to spin.

And I ask myself, why do I still pray?

“K-Kage... The Room..” He croaked softly before a hand covered his mouth and a soft voice whispered for him to be quiet as sentries walked past their hiding spot. Lance didn’t understand why Kage was hiding, he was meant to be an undercover spy. That’s how he must've gotten in, that's how he had found him. He moved slowly to grab his hand, using his warmth to guide his hand. The skin on his fingertips was hard and calloused, unusual for Kage. Lance remembered the way Kage’s hands felt on his body, trailing down his chest with a teasing speed, how his hand had felt tangled in his hair and his lips on his neck.

He tried to remember more, letting the dream take over his body. He wanted to remember what happened next; what Kage whispered in his ear; lance wanted nothing more than to remember the times when he was happy but only darkness filled his head.

“The attack on the base is ready sir. All personnel are equipped with the latest model guns and the sentries have been upgraded. They do not stand a chance.”

Lance couldn’t breathe, his heart stopped in his chest. They were going to attack Kage. He couldn’t let this happen, he had to stop it somehow.

So he stepped out in front of the soldiers, guns blazing as he took down the collection of guarding sentries. As he got closer, he morphed his Bayard into the broadsword and attacked. The first shot hit his shoulder, an involuntary scream filled the air as the connector filled his suit with a burst of energy, however, he kept charging, the only thought on his mind was to protect Kage. The second hit the back of his thigh. He fell to the floor with a thud, blood filling his mouth as he bit down on his tongue to stop himself screaming. He could see them getting closer, a disgustingly smug smile appeared in his vision as the leader got close. Lance pushed his body with everything he had to get up and fight, he swung for the Galra in front of him when the third shot hit him directly in the chest and he fell back, motionless.

“It appears we’ve caught ourselves a Blue Paladin.”

When it was clear Kage looked at him and patted his cheek again, Lance couldn’t see him clearly. His eyes were cloudy and his head continued to spin, he wanted to be sick. He could feel the anxiety in his breathing as his pulse raced.

When will it end? And who fucking cares?

“Kage- I couldn’t stop it-” He mumbled softly, his eyes filling with tears. He’d gotten caught. He’d gotten trapped here and caused Kage to stop his important work to come find him.

“Lance, I don’t understand why you’re calling me Kage..” He said softly, confusion lacing his tone as he pushed Lance’s disgusting hair off his face and sighed. “My name isn’t Kage.”

All lance could do was laugh at this comment, too exhausted to tell him ‘ Of course it is, don’t be silly. I know my own boyfriend’s name.’

“ Quiznak” Kage muttered as Lance’s eyes fluttered again and he just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. He could hear metal on metal getting closer, Kage standing up with panicked breathing. He could see him unsheath a blade that glowed a lilac purple as it extended, his hands shaking as he held the blade in front of him.

I swear to God I did what I could.

“I’ll protect you, Lance, please just stay quiet.” He mumbled softly as the sentries closed in on them. Lance could feel his hand automatically going to his right leg as if he was waiting for something to appear, yet his hand remained empty. He didn’t understand what was going on. Bodies dropped to the floor limbs scattering in every direction. A pale purple metal arm collided with Lance’s legs still clutching a gun. He didn’t know why he grabbed it, he didn’t even know if he could use it. Yet he pointed and managed to shoot two through the chest. The recoil of the gun hurt his shoulder, it was large and heavy and the noise hurt his head.

Moments later Kage was by his side again, his eyes didn’t seem to glow like normal and something felt different. The clearer Lance’s head became the worse the situation was becoming.

“Come on Sharpshooter, we have to go.” Kage mumbled softly as he picked up the larger boy and ran for the hangers. He managed to get Lance inside one of the fighters before any more guards came. Again Kage placed him on the floor before taking control of this ship, they managed to escape out the hanger doors before they shut however, it wasn’t that easier. Fighters poured out of the other hangers and started shooting at them, Lance fell to the side hitting his head on the floor as the ship tumbled and raced to get away.

“Kage, I have to be quick..” Lance said softly, a hint of panic in his tone as he looked to the bathroom door and then back to his mobile-esc like device. On the screen was Kage, in all his glory. Smiling up at the blue paladin. “They might wonder what I’ve been doing in here for an hour. What did you want to tell me?”

He smiled at first, then sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair. Lance watched as his mouth moved, but he couldn’t hear anything. Lights started flashing in the bathroom and the castle’s alarms rang louder than Lance had ever heard before; disappointment filled his chest with every sharp noise. He ended the call as quickly as he could and typed out a quick message before dropping his phone into his bedroom and running to the bridge. He never did find out what Kage needed to tell him.

I practically begged you, I pretended everything was fine

“Lance, for the love of god, you need to stay awake,” Kage said, sticking a needle in his arm as carefully as he could. He could feel his heart rate accelerate every moment the liquid pumped around his body. His head felt dizzy and his eyes went blurry until he felt more alive then he could ever recall feeling. The everything changed; all the pain, the fuzziness hanging on the back of his head; it all went away. He could see who was staring at him now, and his heart sunk. The purple light of the cockpit danced off his face, but there was no mistaking it. Lance stared into his purple eyes and he wanted to cry.

“You’re not Kage!” His voice echoed around the ship and the boy looked almost relieved to hear him say that.

“I’ve been telling you this the entire time, I don’t know who this Kage person is. My name is Keith.” the boy said, lifting up a wet cloth to lance’s face. It was cold against his skin and for a single moment, Lance enjoyed the feeling until he slapped the boys hand away and tried to move away from him.

“Don’t touch me, I don’t know who you are!”

He could see him flinch with shock from his words. He stepped back and fell on his arse, yet he didn’t say anything; he just stared in shock as his eyes watered.

“Lance, what are you talking about? It’s me; Keith!” he finally said, getting up onto his knees and pulled him closer to him, both of his hands on his face as he tried to see if it was some awful joke. Yet Lance just stared at him, shaking and crying as Keith yelled. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know who this guy was. There was nothing about this Keith that Lance found familiar. He had worrisome purple eyes and the kind of mullet you could recognise anywhere, but nothing clicked. Lance couldn’t figure out why this stranger looked as hurt as he did. Lance couldn’t understand how he had mixed his beautiful Kage up with this delirious person.  

A soul sacrifice, an American nightmare.

“I-I’m sorry, You have to take me back. Kage-- He won’t be able to find me otherwise..” Lance stuttered, because that’s all he could do. He had to go back, he had to wait for Kage. He had to make sure Kage was alive. He tried to stand, which was his first mistake.

The sudden adrenaline that filled his body made him bolder than he was, yet his legs were like food goo. They collapsed under him and he only avoided knocking himself out again was because keith caught him. He didn’t understand why he held on to hard or why his nails dug into his arm; why his face scrunched up as tears rolled down his face. He looked so defeated, so broken, yet Lance couldn’t bring himself to care. He just watch as the boy finally broke down, his sobs filled the silence that Lance left behind with his words. Lance wanted to comfort him, he wanted to help him feel better, to apologise for not being who he thought he was. He just couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. So keith sat there and cried until a females voice came through the comms and keith jumped up, wiping his eyes. Looking back one last time at Lance before leaving him on the floor, alone.

I'd rather be dead.

Chapter Text

The roaring of engines was the only thing that was keeping Keith company. With Lance having knocked himself out, Keith was left to his own thoughts. Once the escape pod was on its way to the Blade’s base Keith had done his best to make Lance comfortable. He knelt by Lance; propped up into the seat and buckled him in tight enough to keep him safe but not tight enough to cause any further injury.

He’d knelt by the seat, his hand resting on Lance’s thigh. Keith restrained himself from pressing his nails into Lance’s skin. Just to hold him, just to know he was there. He looked up at Lance’s face, watching and waiting for any sign of pain. Keith became distracted by the peacefulness Lance’s closed eyelids provided and watched the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

Keith had been staring for too long. He shuffled backwards until he hit the wall of the pod. The air was knocked from his lungs but his breathing hadn’t been stable to begin with. He bought his knees up to his chin and sat there, in the corner of the pod, rocking in unison with Lance in his unconscious state as the pod shook and jolted. He found his hands clutching either side of his head beneath the hood his armour provided. Unconscious in his own subconscious.

The feeling in Keith’s heart could only be described as acidic. Shaken to his core, burning him from the inside out. It was as if someone had stuck a hand through his chest and latched onto the pulsing organ. He felt as though there was crimson waterfalls spilling down his chest, fragments of ribs shattered and displaced. He felt completely and totally wrong.

His eyes locked onto the gritty floor of the escape pod but there was a scene playing over and over before his eyes: Lance slapping him away and screaming that he didn’t know who Keith was. Something about that single split second where Lance’s eyes were the eyes of a stranger. There was vacancy there, as if someone else was using them to absorb the world.

“Don’t touch me, I don’t know who you are!”

It just echoed over and over along with that word. That name. Kage . It meant nothing to Keith but it had clearly meant something to Lance. He’d said it so many times with so much meaning. Internally Keith kept returning to the question: who was Kage?

Keith had been so distracted that he had nearly missed the base. He landed the pod without any serious consideration. Pressing of buttons, pulling of levers, flicking of switches; no care. He stared at the control panel for a mere minute, until he became aware of a gathering crowd in front of the pod. Slowly, he turned to stare at Lance’s limp posture. Keith bit down on his lip. He’d been so worried about Lance he’d forgotten to worry about the consequences he was about to face.

The pod door began to drop as Keith started to free Lance from the chair.

“Kage..?” His head rolled as he tried to angle it up to look Keith in the eyes. Keith watched his mumbling lips, split and torn and caked in blood.
“No, I’m not....” Keith took a sharp breath before biting down on his tongue and falling silent. Lance tried to blink his eyes furiously. Keith’s eyes, that had been trailing his injuries, met his.

Lance’s hand crawled up Keith’s chest until he could move it to around his shoulders. He felt his nails dig into his skin, his other hand moving to grasp at Keith’s collar. Keith picked him up so no blood would spill and was sure not to agitate the wounds further. As he lifted Lance from the chair, his hands tightened around Keith’s collar. He pulled himself closer to Keith, lips by Keith’s ear.
“I have to get back...” his words trailed off as his head slumped, his grip still tight but falling looser with every passing second. Keith looked up to the three standing by the door as it finally lowered to the ground. Kolivan, Krolia and Ilun stood expectantly. Keith could see Kolivan’s eyes narrow and before Krolia could speak, Keith did.
“Before I explain we need to get him to medical.”
“We will do no such thing.” Ilun stepped forward, Krolia’s hand shot out,
“Let him speak.” She glared the Blade down, speaking through gritted teeth.

A smile would have tugged at the corner of Keith’s lips had he not have been in a wild state of confusion.
“We never received the data. What is the meaning of the missions sabotage?” Kolivan spoke with the same hiss Krolia had. Keith refused to show panic as he approached Kolivan, looking at him dead in the eyes to watch every expression that brushed over his face.
“You know who this is..?” With a tilt of his head, he silently prayed Kolivan would understand. No verbal exchange other then a grunt of recognition passed between either of them.
“Who is it?” Krolia stepped forward, eyes instantly drawn to the blood strain growing across the white shirt.
“One of the Paladins...” Kolivan grunted, expression settling on a state of contradiction. Keith watched as Krolia’s expression changed. Her eyes widened slightly and a tilt of her head followed. She watched Lance’s motionless eyelids.
“You... you know this boy?” Her eyes flickered up to Keith, meeting with a neglectful understanding.
“He piloted the Blue Lion, then the Red one after me. We were...” Keith trailed off, not daring to take even a glimpse of Lance’s beaten face.
“...close?” Krolia tried to finish the sentence for him. Close was one word but Keith had another word in mind.

“ Rivals.. .”

At that his nose tingled and he felt the swell of salty tears. He held them back as they welled against his eyelids. Lance had always loved referring to their ‘competition’. At first Keith had been annoyed by it but Lance’s silence was painfully unfulfilling. He didn’t realise how much he’d missed it.

“Well if the Red Paladin is here then, maybe that explains the absence of Voltron?” Krolia suggested, arms crossed and fingers lingering by her chin as she thought.
“The absence of Voltron is not the first issue at hand here.” Kolivan turned to Ilun, “take the Paladin to medical, I need to speak with Keith.”
Before Ilun could even respond Keith had taken a step back.
“You’ll do no such thing.” Keith’s eyes had become daggers. “Speak to me all you want, I’m going to medical.”
“Kei-“
“Lance is... agitated... everything he said didn’t make any sense. If he wakes up, I should be there. I know him best.”

Grimacing, Kolivan didn’t argue back. Keith refused to let anyone else hold Lance, even when the medics arrive he was determined to take Lance to exactly where he needed to go. Krolia had watched her son with intrigue, trying to figure out how exactly the two of them were rivals- as Keith had put it. The way Keith watched the Paladin, the way he lay him lightly on the table, the way he had brushed hair away from Lance’s closed eyes. None of it had whispered, never-mind screamed, rival. Krolia wonder what exactly she was missing.Keith watched Lance’s face for any sign of consciousness as the medics took over. With nothing but the contact of cold air, Keith felt the sudden absence more than he’d been expecting too. His eyes wandered the crease of Lance’s eyelids, the curve of his cheek, the point of his nose, the dip of his collar bone, hints of beauty gleaming through all the bad that had happened to him. Keith tried not to be distracted by the bad; the slit across his nose, the dirt caking his smooth skin, bruises staining him as if they were ink.

Oh my god. You're so overwhelming. Oh my god.

Keith felt Krolia’s hand grip the back of his arm. Her face was unreadable but her eyes told him he needed to listen,

“Come along, Kolivan is waiting.” A smile lingered over her lips but disintegrated. Taking a last look at Lance, Keith jumped off the bench and followed Krolia with a drag in his step. With a heart hanging heavy, he could feel a fog hanging over himself. He knew exactly what was about to unfold, he couldn’t admit it but he knew.

The air was thick with tension, Keith felt all eyes on him even though he couldn’t see all of those eyes. Eyes were a gateway to the soul, Keith had always thought, so behind the masks the Blades could have been thinking of anything. The room was somewhat small, Kolivan stood centered and furthest from Keith. Only Kolivan and Krolia’s faces were exposed but Keith was able to identify some of the others through their posture. Ilun stood at Kolivan’s side, Vrek stood by Krolia’s. A few others stood amongst the shadows of the room’s far corners. Lingering, watching, waiting.

“Keith. You’re a good soldier, there’s no doubt in our minds about that. You’ve been a great help to the Marmora. However this incident, like many others before it, has indicated you’re connection to this is much too close-“

“Kolivan, I—“

“You were a Paladin first. Your heart lies there.”

“I may have been a Paladin but I am now a Blade. I chose this.”

“You chose this because you felt as though you were a let down to Voltron. You let your emotions get in the way of your progress there too. You’re emotion got in your way here too many times, but Voltron needs that emotion. Use it there. We urge you to take the Red Paladin back to Voltron.”

Biting on his lip, Keith tried his best not to argue back. Arguing was in his nature, he was one with defiance.

“You can’t—“

“From now until further notice, you are no longer a Blade Of Marmora. Once the Paladin wakes, you both must depart.”

Keith had never wanted to hear those words leave Kolivan’s mouth. From that point on he zoned out. He could remember not arguing back, there was no point to arguing. He could remember talking at length with Krolia. She promised she’d stay with the Blades and tell him anything she could. She made Keith promise he’d find Voltron, made him promise he would not see any of the unfolding events seen as though they were failures. Most of all, Keith remembered sitting by Lance’s side for hours until he woke. He would stare at the ground, unmoving, not thinking until the little gasp that jolted Keith back to reality.

Bite your tongue. Just this once. Bite your tongue this is more than we can speak of.

They were being given a ship to depart in. It was a tiny thing; merely four seats and control panel but it would work. It reminded Keith of the simulation ship back at the Galaxy Garrison. It was a kind gesture that Keith appreciated more than he let on. Lance was silent, his eyes were absent, he looked how Keith felt. Keith exchanged nothing but a handshake with Kolivan and hug with Krolia before he boarded the ship. Lance was sat on a seat furthest from the back, he’d thanked Kolivan and Krolia but was too distant to really understand what was happening. When Lance asked Keith where they were headed, the purple-eyed boy had simply whispered “elsewhere” and didn’t look back.

Keith didn’t know what coordinates to enter. He was lost, he couldn’t find it in himself to think critically. He’d found an old 21st century lighter in the pilot’s draw and had found himself flicking it off and on. His mind only making it a few logical sentences before falling off track.

“Where are we going?”

“We have to find Voltron. But. It’s been a while since it’s last sighting, I’m not too sure where to start.”

Lance avoided Keith’s eyes, he clearly had questions but wasn’t sure how to ask them. He eventually gave up. He didn't ask a single question in the hours since they'd left the base.

From their silence something extremely loud shattered their ears for a second. Keith momentarily lost his hearing and a ringing noise took its place. A sudden heat hit him and he was blinded by a light from what looked like an explosion. He felt the rumbling of a shock wave through the floor of the ship.
“What’s that?!” Keith could smell smoke but couldn’t answer Lance’s question.
“I don’t know!” He tried his best to reach the ship’s control panel. In desperation, he tried his best to regain control. “The back thruster is gone! Some sort of malfunction, I have no control over the ship!”

Lance joined his side but Keith could see he lost all faith the second he lay eyes on the panel.
“We’re caught in the planets gravity, we can’t pull free.”
“What does that mean, exactly?!”
“Protect yourself, we can’t escape this!”

Keith heart pounded at a thousand miles an hour as he realised the landing was going to be much more then just a rough one. Pure sheer horror flooded his veins but he didn't have enough time to be paralysed in fear.

Hold your breath run for cover.

The trees hit them first. Branches and twigs screeched as they scraped the outside of the ship, the pitch made Keith flinch. He slammed his eyes shut but as the force collided with the ship, he realised he couldn't stop what was happening. Nothing he could do would protect them from it. A shockwave tore it's way through the ground as they slammed into it. Branches and boulders shattered, the ground trembled and exploded in puffs of soil. They both fell. The floor’s impact was hard, it sent a roaring pain through Keith’s head. He begged himself to stand up and take control of the ship. But the impact just kept getting worse, the sounds just kept getting louder. Keith swore he was in a cyclone. Desperate to live, he lay there. On the floor of the ship holding his head, curled in a ball. Hoping to live.

It seemed to go on forever, the world was tearing itself apart. They were both being constantly impaled by debris. Tearing into their skin with a horrific force, Keith took a deep breath, the world suddenly silent. There was nothing, he felt as if he was dead. The rise and fall of my chest told him he was wrong. So he stood.

Or, in the very least, he tried to stand. Just above his knee towards the outside of his right leg, a metal rod had punctured his skin and lodged itself beneath the surface. It had not hurt until he’d seen it. The rise of skin making way for the shard, blood swelling beneath it and spilling down his leg. The pain hit then. It rippled through his system, he screwed his eyes up and punched the side of the ship.

He looked over to Lance, who was trying to stand up amongst the wreck. Eyes darting back and forth, taking in the horror of the scene before them. Smoke hung heavy, dazing Keith in the slightest.
“A-are you okay?” Lance’s voice croaked, he suddenly coughed and spluttered, red mist sprayed from his lips. Keith limped over, taking Lance’s face in his hands. There was a slight flinch, an attempt to recoil, but once Lance realised Keith was trying to help he stopped tensing.
“It’s just my lip, it’s okay.” The split across his bottom lip was deep but it wasn’t urgent. A stab of pain racked Keith, he gasped as his leg gave out from under him and he stumbled.
“You’re not though, oh my god!” Lance, suddenly noticing the puncture, was alive with much more energy then he’d had a mere second beforehand.
“We need to find shelter.”

Keith looked up at the water that was beginning to leak into the ship. The thunderous noise of rain on the roof meant it wouldn’t be too long until they were ankle deep.

Nothing’s left but the light of tomorrow’s hope. Nothing’s left but tomorrow.

They were lucky they could see anything outside. Through the rain pelting down at a torrential rate and the dark of the night. Although he was limping, Keith had managed to peer through the sheets of water to make sense of the environment around him. Lance linked his arm under Keith, nails digging into Keith’s shoulder. Flashes of lightning illuminated the rains drops, resembling shards of glass falling from the sky.

Soaked to the core, they kept pressing on through the rain.

Through the towering trees wailing like banshees, they could see they were not far from the base of a mountain.

“There!” In competition with the wind, Keith screamed the syllables as loud as he could until he felt his lungs give out on him.

“I’ll go look!” Lance vanished into the shadows of the night. As Keith limped on he realised the trees were all strange shades. Flashes of lighting provided enough brief light to reveal trunks and leaves of navy and deep mahogany. The brush by his feet were the same. Lance reappeared moments later and linked his arm under Keith’s, gripping his waist to support him.

“There’s a cave up ahead!”

There was a sense of numbness that came with being drenched in ice-cold rain that made Keith forget about the puncture by his knee. The second he reached the cave he crashed to the ground, in clipping his hood and holding the cloth to the wound. Lance refused to look as Keith tore the metal from under his skin. He shuddered and gasped but refused to acknowledge the pain anymore then that. Keith flicked the lighter on, flame appearing with a hiss, the metal of his blade slowly going from silver to a bright yellow.

Determined not to look too much into the cavern of jagged flesh, he rinsed it as well as he could. Flooding the divide in skin with cold water was enough to make Keith writher in pain. Within a minute, the knife was hot enough. In response Lance moved the cloth, blood flowed from beneath it in a steady rhythm. Lance moved the cloth back to where it was, stopping the flow.
“This will have to happen fast..” Keith nodded as Lance whispered, he lowered the knife, Keith could feel the radiating heat through the handle. Silence, excluding jagged breaths and hisses.
“Now!”

Just like that, on Keith’s mark, the knife was brought down. Keith hissed between his teeth, the blade coming down against the crimson skin and blistering almost immediately. He muffled a scream through biting his tongue.
“D-do you need to stop?!” Keith felt bad for Lance despite him not being the one beneath the scorching metal.
“Gotta get it done.” Keith could feel the blistering as it happened, the expansion of flesh, the searing pain that rippled through it. Pain that persisted through his knee to his thigh. Utter agony. It felt like eternity before Keith lifted the blade, releasing himself from the pain. Keith could see the skin blistering beyond repair. A scar he would be wearing forever.

Forget the pain we used to know. I swear we're almost home. Don't be defined by what you've been. You'll see, in time there's hope inside everything.

Falling silent, Keith could see Lance trying somewhat desperately to not pay attention to the wound as he tried to light a fire.
“Talk to me.” The words left his mouth as if Keith were talking to himself. Tilting his head, Lance looked over to him. “Distract me. I need to not be thinking about this.”
The sheer pain had turned into a consistent stinging. Twigs erupted in smouldering flame.
“Uhhh… what about?”
“Well.” Keith stared into the fire. “For one thing, how you got on that Galra ship?”
Lance fell silent once more. His eyes joined Keith’s in staring into the flickering amber, almost as if he were searching it for answers. That silence dragged out, Lance’s mouth opened a few times as if he wished to speak but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Keith. I can’t remember anything.”

Keith had already figured that much out but the tone Lance put on the words made him reconsider the statement entirely. Lance couldn’t remember anything. Not Voltron, not the Garrison, not Earth, not the war. Not Keith. His heart was heavy, Keith was lost for words.
“Not anything?”
“Well. I can remember one person.” His eyebrows furrowed, eyes growing red as he stared into the fire.
“Kage?”
“Yeah…”
“Who is he?”
Silent hesitation.

“He’s important. Somehow . I can’t remember how we met or how long we’ve known each other but all I know is that I cared greatly for him. He promised to rescue me. But you showed up instead.”

Keith restrained himself emotionally. He couldn’t be entirely honest with the shell of Lance.
“I don’t know how long you were missing for, I didn’t even know you were missing, but were you with Kage this whole time?”
Bloodshot eyes met Keith’s.
“I don’t remember not being with him. It’s all either a blur or nothingness.”

Keith wanted to burst. He wanted to tell the person living in Lance’s body that they did know each other. They’d been through the war together, they’d been to hell and back together. Keith wasn’t able to comprehend the idea that Lance had forgotten it all.
“What did the Galra do to you…?”
The question hadn’t been intended to leave Keith’s lips. They’d escaped into the air without meaning to.
“I’ve heard that word a few times, what does it mean?”
“What? Galra?” Lance nodded. “You really don’t remember anything… they’re the race that hail the Empire, they’re on the other side of the war. The universe’s most fearsome warriors.”
“And they’re all bad?”
“No, not all. The Blades Of Marmora are rebel fighters, Galrans who were sick of the ways of the Empire. And I’m… I’m Galran.”
“You’re Galran?! Is that the marking on your face?”
Keith brushed where his skin was marked with his fingertips. He was reminded of Krolia.
“Yeah.”
“So all of the Galra have those markings?”
“Not exactly. Most are purple skinned, I’m not entirely Galra so I only have this.”
Lance’s eyes widened, looking as though he’d had a realisation.
“Kage was purple skinned… like a shade of lilac.”
“Was Kage a rebel?”
“I… I don’t remember…”

Our memories are evidence. We'll always remain. Far from broken, finding hope inside everything.

They fell silent once more. The pain in Keith’s leg had numbed as the cold had seeped into it.

“I’m going to sleep, or try too...” Lance looked over his shoulder towards the entrance to the cave. He flinched as he pulled too far, trying to hide the pain from Keith. “So uh... goodnight then, Keith...”
the resent in his voice nearly made Keith flinch himself. He watched as Lance struggled to stand up, Keith started to stand himself,
“Do you need help?!” Keith’s fingertips has barely brushed Lance’s shoulders beefier he flinched back.
“No, no.” Keith froze at the worry he found in Lance’s eyes. “No I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”
Keith watched as Lance limped to the furthest reaches of the cave, laying down in a dip in the rock and covering his ears with his hands.

Keith imagined if the howling wind died down it would leave nothing but the trickles of water falling down the walls of the caves. A sheet of water had formed by the entrance, most of the waterfall tumbling down the hill and leaving only mere trails crawling down to where Keith sat hunched over. It was a miracle he and Lance were able to talk in such destructive noise. Keith could smell where the rain had frozen into the cracks of rocks and thawed out in a moldy shade of black. The universe felt completely abandoned from inside the cave, as if human life had never existed. Keith felt utterly isolated.

We're unforgettable. Forget the pain we used to know.

Keith’s soft, pure purple eyes flickered back open. The lighting barely casted light into the cave, the entrance covered with silky spider webs glimmering in the pale light, dancing in the gale. Keith pulled himself closer to the fire, shivering at the cold that left pins and needles in his fingertips. He couldn’t sleep, he settled on watching the waterfall by the entrance grow wider and wondered just how long it would be before his lungs flooded with the tide. His eyes were tired, they grew red and stung. He watched and waited for the rain to end but the world had other plans. The world had insisted on crying a torrential storm and Keith found himself in the company of only thunderous rain and his own pessimism.

I swear we're almost home.

Chapter Text

Lance never really understood his love for the rain. It was cold, wet, and noisy. Yet there was a hidden romance in it. He liked the way it felt on his skin, he liked the chill that it sent through his bones as he stood in the mouth of the cave letting the stray drops land on his face. He liked the way that the rain covered his tears, that it distracted him from the growing pain in his chest. He liked the way it was free, a force to be reckoned with. The rain reminded him of a memory, yet he couldn't see it as if he were looking at a photo slowly melting away in water, the ink running and ruining the sharpness of the it. The memories were there in his head, he just couldn’t push the water away long enough to have a look and soon enough he was worried they’d be gone forever.

I know that something good is waiting just around the corner

Keith had done his best to clean up his wound and get rid of as much of the gross liquid that filled the gash. He’d cried the entire time, biting down on Keith's belt to stop himself from crying out loud. His hands had been soft on his skin, gentle with his knife when needed. Keith had talked idly about what they were going to do as if he had a plan as if they weren’t trapped on some planet with no way to communicate, no food, no clothes, and no way to stay warm. They were going to die here, that was their only real option. Lance had tried to think of solutions for everything else and come up with nothing. It didn’t help that he didn’t even know how he came to be in space, let alone the galra cruiser. Now he’d doomed this poor boy to die with him when he should have just died when he got caught.

Lance was pulled out of his thoughts when Keith started coughing harshly, his entire body shook violently as he rushed to support him. He was getting a fever and a really bad one at that. Who knew how long they’d been in this damp, smelly cave for and who knew how long they’d stay here past living. The blades made it clear they wanted nothing to do with Keith anymore so he highly doubted they come to their rescue and no matter how many times Keith called out for this ‘voltron’, they didn’t show. They were well and truly alone.

There's a new day dawning, there's a new life for us

“Here, have some water, you need to keep your fluids up. Just until this rain stops and I can find some food and firewood.” Lance said softly, placing his hand behind Keith's head in support as he tipped a makeshift leaf cup towards his mouth. Keith gulped the water down, causing himself to start coughing again. Sweat dripped down his head sticking his hair to his face, he was paler than he was when they arrived, his lips tinted with blue. Lance could feel him shiver against his body, which confused him because he was so hot.

“You need to sleep, you need to beat this,” Lance mumbled softly pushing some of Keith’s drenched hair behind his ear. Lance ignored how his heart sped up as Keith nuzzled his hand, a soft whine came from Keith’s lips that caused his cheeks to turn red, it was cuter than it should have been. Lance tried to ignore the nagging feeling clawing at the back of his mind that he should know who this person laying on his lap is, that he should feel something for him whether it was hatred, admiration, love, or jealousy. He spent hours trying to figure out an answer to the question but he just came up blank and even more confused then he started. Keith clearly knew who he was, he made sure he knew he was someone important. Despite knowing this, seeing the looks Keith gave him, the warmth his touch sent through his skin, why did he not feel the need to get his memories back.

Lance sighed, the sound echoing off the damp cave walls while causing Keith to stir in his sleep. He couldn’t tell how long he’d been sitting there in thought, yet the pain in his arse told him it had been a while. He pulled his hands away from where they were rubbing Keith’s face soothingly and stood up stretching his aching body. The action resulted in his chest stretching causing him to bite his lip from crying out in pain. He’d almost forgotten about the gash that was slowly killing him.

Got to keep on holding on for just a little longer I know

Lance looked at Keith, finding his gaze stuck on the boy and he was hopeless to look away. There was absolutely no denying that Keith was attractive, even if his hair looked like some sort of mullet; whatever that was. The deep almost purple like the colour of his eyes was hypnotising to look at, like the night sky. The more lance looked into them the more drawn in he was, the more he didn’t want to look away. That was only one part, his smile was his Achilles heel. The way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the pure happiness that spread across his face when he smiled. Lance had spent an entire hour trying to make Keith laugh just to be able to see that face again.

By the time Lance had regained feeling in his lower torso Keith had rolled over onto his stomach and was panting harshly, his breathing sounded ragged as if he’d just run up the side of a mountain without a break. Slowly Lance lowered himself to the ground, pulling Keith onto his back and wiping his head with some of the already tattered shirt he’d torn off with great difficulty.

When Keith started muttering Lance began to expect something was wrong, his eyes had scrunched up while he flinched and jolted in his sleep. His hand shot out and grabbed at lance with such a force that he fell back on his arse, a shocked squeal escaping his lips. By the time Lance had regained his posture and was by Keith's side again his eyes were open and tears poured down his pale cheeks.

But that it's gonna be blue skies for you and I

“L-Lance?” Keith sobbed out loudly as Lance let his hands rest on his cheeks. He was pushing his hair out of his face with such soft movements he felt as if he wasn’t accomplishing much.

“It’s okay Keith, I’m here. I’m here..” He mumbled softly, pressing his lips to his forehead. Part of him told him that it’s what he would have done for Kage if he’d been the one next to him. Lance could taste the salt on his lips when he pulled away from Keith. He couldn’t help but notice the utter look of happiness on his face as more tears fell from his eyes.
“Y-you remember?” He asked softly, his tone so full of hope and happiness Lance almost instantly regretted flinching at the question. He shook his head, which just caused Keith to pull away from him as a heartbreaking sob left his mouth.

Lance stared at his back for what felt like hours until he moved to the wall and sighed, getting as comfortable as he could against the chill of the solid rock.

“Keith, come here,” he said softly, earning a confused look from the other boy who simply lifted his head. Lance patted his lap, giving him an apologetic look at not being able to offer anything more comfortable. It took Keith a couple of minutes of just staring to understand what he was offering and another couple to crawl his way over to Lance, placing his head on his lap gently while also facing away from him in silent protest. Slowly Lance rested his hand on Keith’s head, his fingers tangling in his hair as he rubbed his scalp in soothing motions hoping to calm his breathing. He hated how much Keith's hair reminded him of Kage’s, how close their colour was, how soft and thick it was. He felt almost guilty comparing the two silently. They weren’t the same and no matter how many times Keith had tried to convince him that Kage wasn’t real, he knew he was.

We'll step out of the shadows and walk into the light

“They forgot me,” Keith mumbled, breaking Lance from his thoughts. “My friends, our friends. They forgot who I was and I was alone again sitting in that stupid shack. They didn’t need me anymore so they forgot me, just like you.” He said softly, his voice breaking in parts that were followed by a sob. Lance didn’t know what to do, his hand twisted in his hair as he rubbed soothing circles into the scalp. When he spoke, however, he could hear his voice break as his nose tingled and tears filled his eyes.

“Tell me what happened in your dream, everything.” He spoke in barely a whisper, he was sure that Keith couldn’t hear with how long he stayed silent. When he moved to open his mouth again to repeat himself Keith finally spoke. He described everything in such detail Lance felt like he was there, watching the dream too.

The walls of the castle were eerily silent, lights flickered in the distance that danced off his face as he got closer. Keith could feel his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing through his body as his hand reached out to open the sliding doors. He could hear people talking inside, their hushed voices were drowned out by the thumping in his ears.

“...n’t trust him!” A voice said harshly as anger filled their tone, seconds later there was a loud thud and the clattering of metal on the floor. He open the door and stared at the sight in front of him. The paladins of Voltron stood in front of him, the blue paladin looked different, he had long dirty blonde hair and a scar that covered his face. He had light skin and caramel eyes that bore into his soul as he stared into him. That was someone new. That wasn’t Lance.

Lance could feel the boy freeze as he continued, his voice hitching in his throat as tears flowed onto Lance’s legs, leaving splash marks on his trousers.

“Who are you?” Keith felt himself saying before he could stop himself, they all stared at him with shock. Time felt like it froze in the second when they all reached for their bayards. It felt unreal having a sword swung at him with high speed that he barely had time to block. They were all coming at him, working like a well-oiled machine that Keith could barely get a single word in before a staff hit him across his stomach and he was flying across the floor struggling to breathe as the oxygen around him grew thick.
“Stop!” he cried loudly, holding up a hand in defence as they circled in front of him, glaring daggers with their eyes.
“How did you get aboard this ship?” Allura demanded, her eyes burning with such pure hatred for him. “ Who are you? ”
“G-guys? It’s me; Keith..” He stuttered out trying to stand up, he looked to Shiro at try and understand what was going on, his heart painfully twisting in on itself as Shiro just glared at him. “This isn’t funny! I haven’t been gone that long! Where’s Lance?” He stuttered out, watching their bodies recoil at the other paladin’s name.
“How do you know about Lance?!” Pidge demanded, screaming in his face as their Bayard made its way to his neck. He couldn’t help the gasp that filled his mouth as he took a step back.

Names and words Lance didn’t recognise were being thrown around, yet he was still able to place the pieces together to fit into a story. Keith stopped completely as he couldn’t contain his tears as he cried, Lance knew now why he chose to face the other way. So he wouldn’t see him slowly break down at their situation. Lance wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but he ran his hands through Keith’s hair making small circles on his scalp with his fingertips. They sat like that even when Keith started talking again.

“Lance, he’s the blue paladin. I don’t understand guys. This really isn’t funny.”
“He was a paladin, he was murdered. You should know, your kind is the ones who killed him!” Hunk screamed, finally speaking up as tears poured down his cheeks. Keith could barely hear them after that, his heart was in his throat as he fell to his knees again. Suddenly he took notice of his hands, the skin was a dark purple colour covered with light marks that from what he could tell made their way up his skin and up his body. Turning to look in the window of the bridge, he couldn’t help the scream that echoed around the room. His normal purple eyes were gone and he was left staring at a pair of glowing yellow eyes and a murderous smile. His hands moved to his face as he screamed. His friends hadn’t cared that he was part galra, they didn’t care about his lineage. Yet here they were talking as if he’d personally killed Lance.
No, no, Lance couldn’t be dead. They’re lying. They’re not Voltron.
“You’re lying, Lance, this isn’t funny. Where is he?!” Keith screamed turning around to look at them, claws extending from his fingers as they pointed their weapons at him. “I’m Keith, you quiznakers!”
“We don’t know anyone called Keith, all we know is you’re Galra and you have no right on this ship,” Shiro said, his voice was so clear that Keith felt as if he’d been hit in the face with a bucket of ice-cold water. Everything froze again, their faces burned into Keith’s mind. The absolute hatred filled looks on their faces was the last thing Keith could see before he was falling through the darkness, his head spinning as he gained speed until he was still and his eyes were open again staring into Lance’s ocean blue eyes.

“At least it was only a dream” Lance managed to mumble softly, his voice echoed around the cave after the silence that had followed Keith’s retelling of the dream. He couldn’t imagine what was going on in his head now that he was awake.
“You know, I remember that my Mama used to tell me that dreams are our minds way or sorting out issues that we may be struggling with when we’re awake,” Lance said softly, images of a beautiful woman with laugh lines and black hair that frames her face. Her smile seemed to make the sun seem dull and her laugh was like music. Lance felt his heartache as his mind flooded with memories of his childhood. Like he broke a dam and the water just wouldn’t stop flowing. Yet, when he tried to remember anything else he was stranded in a dessert.

But my heart beats slow as the storm carries on up high

Keith had rolled over and was looking up at lance, a soft but sad smile on his face.
“You look constipated.” He mumbled softly and sighed deeply as he wiped his face. Lance scowled and flicked his forehead.
“I remembered my mama. I thought maybe I could try and remember everything else. If I thought about it hard enough.
“And did you?”
Lance just shook his head and sighed. “Come on, you need sleep.” He said softly and pushed Keith’s wet hair from his face. Keith simply closed his eyes and was asleep within ten minutes. Lance followed suit soon after.

Lance didn’t know Galra could purr, yet when he woke up he was sure he could hear a deep rumbling noise surrounding him. He could feel the ground vibrate through his body as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Keith was still passed out on his lap but he looked worse then he had before they’d gone to sleep and Lance was sure that wouldn’t be possible. He sighed deeply and stroked his hair carefully before trying to check his temperature. His hand met Keith's cold, clammy skin causing him to frown for a moment before he realised he could still feel the purring throughout the cave. His hand moved to Keith’s throat, lightly pressing into the skin as he gasped.

“Keith, wake up, I think whoever lives in this cave wants it back.” He mumbled softly as he looked around, the sky was dark with shadows and he could hardly see anything. Yet there was something flying towards them, bright red and burning. He almost screamed when bright lights appeared from the comet and it slowed it’s decent.
“Keith! Someone’s found us! Keith, wake up!” Lance said again with more urgency in his tone as he wanted to stand and see what was going on outside. The boy on his lap spluttered and coughed as he sat up, lance barely waiting before he ran as quickly as he could to the cave.

And the clouds roll by

His heart stopped in his chest when he noticed the large metal cat getting closer to him, the purring in his head becoming unbelievable hard to concentrate over. It was so loud and happy Lance couldn’t help but get excited, there was so much love in the simple sound that he felt more alive than he had been the days, weeks they’d been trapped on this planet.

“Keith! Keith someone found us. We’re going to be okay!” He said, happiness returning to his tone in who knows how long. He ran over to the boy and helped him up, his arms supporting his waist as they hobbled to the cave entrance. Keith smiled softly before he coughed loudly, holding onto lance as if he let go and he was going to pass out.

“I knew you wouldn’t let me down, guys.” Lance heard Keith mumbled as they stumbled into the mouth of the lion. The cockpit was empty upon arrival which confused Lance as much as it did Keith. He helped him into the pilot's seat before sitting on the floor himself, he didn’t want to but the bottom half of his body was numb and he didn’t have the energy to stand for the whole time. His wound on his chest had reopened and he felt lightheaded.  They were barely seated before the Lion started to move again, a loud roar filled their ears as they shot off into the night leaving behind their tiny cave.

Chapter Text

The Red Lion didn’t need piloting. Keith could feel it, that connection had sparked once more. The Lion knew it needed to return to the rest of the Paladins. Back to where Keith and Lance needed to be. A home of sorts.

Keith was sat staring at a few cobwebs dancing in the furthest corners, some dust that had come to settle across the backings of the chair. It looked almost as if the Lion has been abandoned and left to fall into disrepair. It must not have opened for anyone. Sat, dormant, waiting for the return of either Paladins. Keith grimaced that he had been the one to make that connection. The Lion had not responded to Lance’s awakening, only Keith’s suffering.

The smallest of smiles grew on Keith’s lips and he felt the Lion do it’s best to make the journey easier. Turns were less sharp, speed was kept under control, an attempt prevent Keith hurting anymore then he already was.
“Thank you, Red.” He whispered to himself, running his hands along the side. He felt the ground beneath him vibrate, almost as if the Lion was responding with a purr.

Keith felt as though that response was exactly what he needed. After that nightmare, Keith had needed that small amount of reassurance. The scenes played over and over in his head, it had seemed so real Keith hadn’t expected to wake back up again. A lucid dream, he believed it to be.
He’d explain it to Lance in depth but, what he hadn’t explained, was that they just kept repeating. Keith wouldn’t be recognised, then threatened or killed. The world would be consumed by void and he’d wake back up on the Castle, mid-battle and the cycle would repeat.

“Guys, the Marmora needs your hel—“
The eyes that simultaneously turned to stare at him were not familiar eyes. They were absent, they were unfamiliar. Pidge’s eyes stared through glasses she’d slid up her nose to get a better look. The tilt of her head was enough for Keith realise something was off. Allura’s fingers tightening around the bayard, eyes sharp and watchful.

“W-who are you?” Shiro had asked, his tone one of a stranger’s. His arms crossed, metal glimmering the surrounding light. Hunk had his nose upturned, eyes narrowed and lips pressed together.

“Hilarious you guys.”
The looks in their eyes had said otherwise. The blast that found its way through Keith’s chest confirmed it.

Lance was sat opposite Keith, arms folded and eyes wide. He was in a state of utter disbelief. If Keith hadn’t seen Lance fly the Red Lion with his own two eyes, Keith would have thought Lance had never heard of Voltron and never seen a Lion, never mind pilot one. It worried Keith how much of a stranger Lance seemed to be. It worried Keith even more that he didn’t know how to get Lance back.

“Who the quicknak are you?? How’d you get aboard the ship?!!” Every cycle, Keith couldn’t remember enough from the last to know his fate.
“Coran, stop this.” Keith had his weapon in hand but wasn’t holding it to him. The man quickly blinked, unsure whether to question Keith or not.
“Coran! What do you think you’re doing? Shoot him?!” Before Keith could turn, there was a bullet in his back. He fell to the ground, wondering.

Keith was beginning to regain feeling is his leg. The cold and it’s numbness was draining and Keith’s knee was starting to become alive with a raging pain. It was a consistent stinging, slowly leeching further into Keith’s system. He realised suddenly how tired he was and, by the bags under Lance’s eyes and his stifled yawns, he knew Lance was in the same state. Keith lost himself, the world dipped in and out before he lost consciousness entirely. Just as he did, he realised the Lion had done its best to get him to sleep. As the world was stolen, he whispered a thanks. Sometime later, he heard a clunk. Stillness, then voices he had not heard for months. Voices, the universe had not heard from for months.
“Red... you found them.”

Shiro’s voice, maybe. The seriousness of the tone was so familiar yet felt so distant as Keith was swallowed by the void.

Oh, flower of forgetfulness. Just an hour away to the moon.

The only thing certain was certain of was that he was cold. A chill had settled lightly on his skin. There were muffled noises amongst a plunging darkness, a place for serenity. A distant humming rang accompanied with the sound of gas escaping a pipe. Everything was cold, it sunk into Keith’s skin. There was a sharp pain in Keith’s knee, worry in his heart. He didn’t feel peaceful, in the abyss it was intense. He felt a pain in his heart, tightness in his throat and suddenly he gasped. The lack of oxygen had built up in his chest until he finally breathed. And when he took that breath, he woke up.

The cold set in first, then his vision returned. He stumbled forwards, catching himself on the side of the cyropod. He held himself there for a few seconds,
“Keith!” He looked up to see Shiro, face looking somewhat relieved. The smallest of smiles on his face. He linked his arm under Keith’s and helped him to sit down.
“He’s awake?!” That was Pidge, she jumped from where she was sitting and darted over. Quick and silent.
“W-Where’s Lance?” Were the only words Keith could muster as he sat.
“Beside you.” Keith looked up to the other pod, smiling to Hunk as a thank you. Keith could only see the silhouette of Lance but was enough to feel a stab of pain in his heart.

“How long was I out?”
Shiro narrowed his eyes, an expression of disturbance falling over his face.
“You’ve been out only a few hours, Lance however...”
“He’ll need a while longer.” Pidge finished Shiro’s sentence, “Lance memories, there’s something wrong with them.”
“They’re gone.” All eyes fell on Keith.
“What happened? How did you find Lance??”
Anger bubbled in Keith’s chest but he was much too tired to yell.

“I was on a mission for the Blades, I was onboard a Galra cruiser. It was strangely positioned, didn’t seem to have much tactical advantage. And I found Lance. He was strapped to a table, I think they’d been torturing him. I took him back with me to the Blades but, I’d sabotaged the mission, they outcasted me. We started looking for you when we crashed. Red found us.”
“You were close to dying, Keith. That wound on your knee is nasty. Lucky you got here when you did.”
Laying eyes on the wound wasn’t the shock Keith was expecting. The pod had healed him a lot better then he had expected, the scar pulled the skin at strange angles but it was preferable to the gaping wound it had been. It didn’t hurt nearly as much, merely a dull sting.
“Lance’s memories are gone. He can’t remember anything. Not us, not Voltron. Only someone named Kage. The only thing he remembers about this Kage person, is that he cares about him.”

“Kage?” Shiro muttered. “Doesn’t sound familiar... Pidge, any chance you could find anything about him?”
“I’ll search the database now.” She skipped back over to the panel, lip between her teeth as she focused.
Keith wasn’t entirely sure if he even wanted to know who Kage was. Lance had been solely fixed on the idea of this Kage person and Keith’s gut had told him there was something beyond wrong with the thought of him. Then again, Keith was more then slightly biased.
“Kage Rentai?” Keith shot up as Pidge inquired. He walked his way over to the screen, surprised he felt only stiffness in his knee and not pain.

The screen projected no images and only text. The name Kage Rentai appeared in very few documents.
“Who is he?” Keith was good at analysing documents but Pidge had a keen eye for it. She was incredibly efficient.
“Seems to be not much at all. The word outcast appears quite often but other then that...” her eyes skimmed the next sentence and she frowned, “... he’s Galra.”
Keith nodded.
“That’s him. Lance forgot who Galra were, I had to explain, he told me it sounded like Kage... no pictures?”
“Nope.”
“There’s not enough to know for sure...” Keith stood back, frustrated.
“I’ll find out as much as I can.” Keith smiled to Pidge. “Other then that, this guy doesn’t have much of a profile.”
“For now, Keith,” Shiro firmly placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder, “get some sleep.”

Take a deep breath if you are reaching for truth. While you're in the stupor. The door knocks and death takes another youth.

It was so strange being back in his room.

Keith stood at the doorway, scanning every centimeter of the room. It was exactly how he had left it. Sheets crinkled in the corners, jacket where he’d last hung it up. He’d missed that jacket. He’d put it back on when he woke back up, he felt regret in the Marmora armour. He tucked it away in the farthest corner of the cupboard, not wanting to see it. It was strange clambering under those sheets, they were cold and his skin became alive with goosebumps.

Sleep usually came to Keith without struggle. A moment came, a few minutes after his head touched the pillow, when he became entirely unconscious. He did not dream vividly too often, he did not usually remember any of his dreams. That nightmare had been one hell of an exception. He feared if his eyes were to slip shut and he was to sleep that he would surely find himself back where that nightmare cut off. Fall into the realm of uncertainty, wander amidst dreams of a lucid nature.

He let his head fall against the pillow, to sink into its form. He trusted himself enough to close his eyes. And he slept. Only this time his usual blackout was being interrupted with horrific states of fragmented consciousness. No nightmares- only reality warped by confusion. His eyes would slip open enough to see the outline of objects from the light that shone from under the door. He’d see his room distorted as he lapsed between states.

As the brief periods of consciousness continued he came to feel himself grow hot. His shirt was sticking to him with sweat. Bedsheets drenched in patches as he tossed and turned. He wasn’t awake enough to sit up and deal with it but he somehow managed to tear his shirt free from over his head and cast it aside.

He only awoke entirely when, once his limbs had been entangled amongst sheets, he’d hit his knee hard enough to jolt himself. Emerging from the state of restless sleep, he found himself panting. A draft swept through, chilling the thin layer of sheen sweat enough to send a shiver down his spine. Holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers, he took a deep breath. It was not flawless, his lungs stuttered and the breath was drawn in through fragments. He pulled back the sheets dampened with sweat to find the bandage on his knee growing crimson. Nothing but a small stain, the scar had not been torn back open.

Distractions. Distractions had always been good at distractions. When the Kerberos mission failed, he’d distracted himself with the Garrison. When the Garrison shut away the truth, he’d distracted himself with what lead to the discovery of Voltron. Distractions had always worked well, he figured they’d work here too.

Keith found himself on the training deck. The white walls of the castle still felt foreign to him. The absence of purples and greys was so different, the lack of shadow seemed wrong. A tactic of the Marmora was to watch the shadows, track and follow them to their source. Out in the bright white of the training deck, Keith’s eyes were overwhelmed. He wasn’t too certain he knew where to look. Laying eyes on the sparring bot, Keith tried his hardest to steady his breaths. The first few swings were easy to dodge. Keith felt himself settle back into familiarity, the instinct that came with fighting. The peace he found in running. His thoughts focused, no longer scattered. It was the only kind of dancing Keith could find the rhythm of. He’d never been a dancer, but the fluid motion of battle came naturally to him. More so than any kind of dance.

Keith liked fighting. Not for the violence, not for the pain, nor for the suffering. But for how he synced with his surroundings. He felt displaced everywhere else, a distinct tear between him and reality. But in fighting, in the motion, everything felt closer. Stitches drawing him and reality closer, closing that tear. He never felt as in-the-moment as he did while in battle. Fighting for good, fighting for that tear to close permanently.

Even with his back turned, Keith knew the Guardian was coming up behind him. Taking its opportunity for an attack, Keith ducked as quickly as he could, the Gladiator’s blade ripped at a part of his hair that didn't make it out the way. The sharp edge barely missed Keith’s nose, he felt oxygen drain from his lungs. As soon as the Gladiator’s hand whipped over his head, Keith grabbed its arm and elbowed its shoulder with his other arm. The metal bent all through its shoulder and collarbone. It swung out, metal colliding with Keith’s back and impacting with a thud. He was thrown forward but managed to catch himself.

Keith didn’t hesitate as he ran back at the Gladiator, grabbing the blade from his boot and slipping through the Gladiators middle chest plate with the weapon. The Gladiator stumbled back as Keith let go of the blade, it was lodged far enough to stay there. Throwing himself back at the sparring bot, Keith pushed down on the knife with all his force. Grinding the blade deeper into the circuits and wires, it twitched and jolted before falling to the floor. Machinery failing, lapis fading.

“Load Level—“ Keith was cut off.

“Keith… Lance is awake.”

A boy I used to know, a boy I used to know who's laughter rang to the skies. Was a joy to behold.

Keith left everything exactly where it was. His jacket, his knife, it could wait until later. He didn’t say a word to Shiro as they walked, Keith’s strides quickened in pace. Silence bloomed from anxiousness. A thousand thoughts formed no sentences. Lance looked up to Keith’s as soon as he stepped foot in the room. Those eyes were still wide and unfamiliar, shaken to the core. Lance looked at Keith like he was the only thing that made sense. With a heavy heart, Keith accepted that Lance still didn’t remember anything.

“Nothing?” Keith asked. He didn’t know who he was asking, only that it was the only thing that needed asking.

Pidge shook her head, adjusting the frames that rested upon her nose.

“I’m sorry Keith, I haven’t figured it out yet…”

“We will though, right?” Matt hit his sister’s arm, “we’ve figured out worse.”

“Of course you will, we trust you guys.” Hunk smiled, although that smile fell when he looked back to Lance.

Lance, who was sitting in a posture so unfamiliar. Dead straight, chin up, a serious face. Keith missed his horrific posture. The way he’d take up two seats when he could easily fit on one. The way he’d rest his cheek on his hand when he couldn’t be bothered holding himself up.

“I’m sorry, I...” Lance’s eyes drifted, seeming to stare at nothing of importance. He was avoiding looking at any of the Paladins. That ripped a hole in Keith’s heart. The person he saw before him was ashamed and disappointed. The shell of Lance looked as though he thought he deserved any anger that would be spat at him. The person before Keith wasn’t Lance, but he so desperately wanted to be Lance. He wanted his memories restored but even more so, he wanted to no longer be the empty shell that he was. “I still can’t remember...”

Keith felt his nails dig into his palms, sharp and quick without restraint. His brow furrowed, lips beginning to quiver. Keith felt as though his lungs had been trodden on and his ribs had been cracked. An overwhelming pain pulsating through his chest. He could feel cold spread through his warm veins, pumping poison throughout his system. There was little he could think as it reached his stomach. When that venom reached his stomach he was helpless. All logic and reason was gone and replaced by a powerful, unbeatable, painful entity that caused Keith to shake and shiver. He could feel himself drown in it, become swamped by it.
“Please...” he whispered, biting his trembling lip. “Please!” He spoke louder, voice rising in fear. Keith took Lance’s shoulders and stared him dead in the eyes. Lance stumbled slightly, only catching his balance by gripping back onto Keith’s arm. “Lance, please, you have to remember. It’s me, your boyfriend. You can’t have forgotten this past year, please.”
Tears had begun streaming. Keith was begging.
“You’re my..?” Lance’s voice was only a mere whisper. His eyes had widened, his mouth ajar.
“H-how long for?” Hunk stuttered over his own words.
“Since when?” Shiro’s voice trailed off lightly.
Keith had heard the whispers of disbelief and the questions. He could hear and listen but the words didn't get to his brain. Fear tore the sentences word by word, letter by letter. He refused to believe Lance was gone.

Then I looked into his eyes, a look so cold, boy grown old, a zombie who kneeled in a field of poppies. Red poppies.

Chapter Text

Wait what?

“No- no- I’m with Kage. I have been for nearly a year now.” Lance stuttered taking a step back, his hands were shaking violently as the room spun. He stared at Keith, studying his features carefully while trying to believe him.

But I can't get too close to you my darling, can't get too close

“No, Lance, you’ve been with me for nearly a year now. We agreed to hide it so no one would worry. So Shiro wouldn’t yell at us for being irresponsible. It was meant to be us against the world Lance. Please.” Keith breathed out, his voice was shaky and his hands gripped Lance’s face a bit too tightly but he didn’t care. In that moment he wanted to believe everything he was saying, he wanted to forget about Kage and the war and just run away with the boy in front of him. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t speak. His voice stuck in his throat as tears fell from their faces.

The silence became too heavy for lance as he watched Keith with wide eyes, he wanted to remember. He wanted to see Keith smile, to hear him laugh. In that moment of confused emotions, Lance kissed him. He told himself it was to prove that the other boy was lying, that he was wrong and he was tricking him into feeling these emotions; yet everything felt so right, exactly how he remembered Kage down to the smell that lingered on his skin. Their lips locked together as if they were two sides of a coin, the noses didn’t touch as if they’d done it a hundred times before. Lance felt himself melt into the kiss the second Keith relaxed, his hands moving to tangle in his hair as Keith pulled him closer heat radiating through their bodies. A sob vibrates through their lips as Keith started crying, his hands shaking as they gripped at Lance clearly scared he was going to disappear in a second. Lance could almost feel his memories returning the deeper they kissed.

And God help me if I do, you'll leave me broken hearted

And then it was gone. Lance had to stop himself from finding Keith’s lips again as he whined. Everything had been so familiar, so natural. His memories of Kage started to muddle together in his head, images of his boyfriend slowly morphed into Keith. The height, the hair, his eyes, they all looked so Keith . When he finally looked at Keith properly, more tears fell down his face, his cheeks puffy and red as he cried.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that?” Keith said softly, sniffling loudly as he stared into lance’s ocean blue eyes. Lance could feel the blood rush to his cheeks as Keith stepped away from him, his arms wrapping themselves around his body as he sat down. All his pent-up emotions had broken the dam and he couldn’t stop them now. He didn’t know if he just made things worse or better.

Lance didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t help but look around at them. Pidge looked severely uncomfortable and like they wanted to get out of there. Matt and Hunk were face-to-face pretending to talk while the rest just didn’t look at them. He wanted to help them all, to explain that their friend would come back to them and that it would be all okay. He just couldn’t get the words out because he didn’t know if that was true or not. The high of the kiss finally left his body, an unpleasant cold returning to his skin as he watched them all. He hadn’t realised he was moving until he backed into the control panel of the ship.

“I’m sorry I’m not him.” Lance finally spoke, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry that I’m not the person you want me to be.”

“Lance- What are you talking about?”

“Of course you’re Lance, don't be an idiot.”
“Lance- No, I know what you’re thinking. Don't be stupid.” Keith words were harsher than the rest of them as he stood up, his hands balled with white knuckles by his sides.

You'll leave me stitching my lips up again everybody now

“I think I should leave, go find Kage- try and see if it’s even possible to get my memories back. You don't need me now. Keith can pilot the red lion now like he was meant to.” Lance took a step again, trying to distance himself from the group. He couldn’t read their expressions as they stared at him. They wanted him so desperately to remember at that moment and he felt like a huge disappointment when he didn’t. He ignored the hurt look on Keith’s face at the mention of Kage.

“You know I’m right, you can’t form Voltron when I’m like this! How do you know I’m even him? Maybe I’m a clone or some stupid trick the galra set up. What if I turned on you? W-what if I hurt one of you?” He paused for a moment, watching them for any hint at to what they were feeling. Shiro was the first to move, his hand moving to Lance’s shoulder as he frowned.

“You’re right, you’re just going to get in the way. We’ll get a pod ready and you can leave when you’re up to it.”

“Shiro- what the fuck?”

“Wait no!”

“You can’t let him go when he’s like this.”

Even Allura and Coran looked shocked as Shiro frowned and held up his hands.

“It’s unfortunate but there’s nothing we can do, there’s no point keeping him around. He’s useless to us.”

“We just got him back!”

“He’s my best friend!”

“He’s my fucking boyfriend, you’re not doing this Shiro.”

“No, he’s not. He’s just some shell of someone we knew. Lance is gone. This is just a waste of space.” Shiro snapped, his hands clenched by his sides as he got all up in Keith’s face.

You'll leave me lonely at best, lonely at best

Lance watched with wide eyes as they argued over him, Shiro’s words echoing around his head believing them more and more each time. His breathing speed up, his head became dizzy as his limbs felt like dead weight. He tried to call out to his friends, to Keith. But his voice stuck in his throat and he choked on his words. They noticed him now.

The castle suddenly became large, the bridge grew to the size of a football field with his friends on the other side all shouting at him as his vision blurred and his legs gave out. He was falling yet it felt like the world was slowing down. Keith was screaming the most, yet the more he ran, the further away he appeared. Lance heard the crack of his skull on the floor as his eyes rolled back into his head and the world went black, the image of Keith calling out to him, as his arms wrapped around his body burned into his mind.

------------

It was cold when Lance woke up. An icy chill set in his bones as his muscles ached from being in the same position for too long. From what he could tell with his eyes shut, his arms had been secured above his head with shackles that felt as if they were made of ice. His heart started to speed up, as opened his eyes as quickly as he could. His head ached from the sudden light as black dots swam across his vision, but he could clearly see where he was.

He was in a cell.

Panic set in and he found himself screaming and pulling at the chains. He was back on the cruiser, it had all been a dream. No one had saved him. The voice that echoed around the room wasn’t his own, it was dry and husky laced with pain and sleep. Lance couldn’t remember what he sounded like before all of this as if that mattered to him. He wanted to remember everything but found he was just forgetting more, he couldn’t picture the cave or the waterfall over the entrance. He couldn’t begin to imagine what the Galra looked like on the ship. He missed the sound of Kage’s voice, he had indirectly hurt the man he loved and he felt disgusting for it, however he couldn’t find the tears to be sad about it.

You'll loosen your dress, you'll pull at my neck and we'll break what can't be broken

Someone came running into the room minutes later causing him to shut his mouth. It was Keith. This meant it hadn’t been a dream and he got away, he just didn’t understand why he was back to being locked up.

“Lance- please. I’m sorry, this wasn’t my idea. Shiro- He- it won't be for long. I promise.” Keith mumbled softly, leaning forward so his head was touching the glass as he sunk to his knees. From what lance could see from the bed Keith’s face was bright red from tears, his right eye was shut and a purple bruise was forming around the bone.

Lance gasped.

“Who hit you?” he whispered meekly, his voice faltering as he watches Keith flinch at his question.

“Shiro. It’s my fault though, I pushed him. He used his Galra arm and everything. I don’t understand why he doesn’t trust you. You’re still Lance.” he mumbled softly but he refused to look at him. An uncomfortable silence fell over them as Lance sat back, trying to find a more comfortable position. He felt tired as if all the energy he’d gotten from the pod was sucked from his body the second his head hit the floor; the bump on his head throbbing painfully. A constant buzzing noise laced Shiro’s words as Lance gulped and shook his head, finally speaking.

“He’s right.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You can’t trust me,”

“Lance- Please, not this again.”

“Keith, you have no proof he’s wrong.”

Spin me around, keep me spinning around keep me swaying to the band

Keith was silent for longer this time, his head resting on the glass of his cell as his shoulders shook slightly from echoless sobs. Lance couldn’t help but stare at him. His hair was oily, his skin was caked with dirt, he looked like he’d barely slept. Lance pitied him more than anything. They were all so young, yet they’d been forced to age and mature faster than any other person their age. It was a hard fact to consider that this war may never end, always lingering in the back of their mind, the unspoken topic at every meal.

Lance wanted to remember what it was like not to care about anything except for school and gossip, before he was a prisoner of an intergalactic war, before he was supposedly a paladin of Voltron before he was sad and his alien boyfriend was missing.

“Keith, you have to let me go.”

“Lance, don't you think I want to do that more than anything?”

“I’d appreciate you letting me go as well, but that isn’t what I meant.”

“What did you mean?

Keith finally lifted his head and was looking lance in the eyes, those beautiful broken indigo eyes shimmered dully causing Lance to forget all his words. The other boy just sat there waiting patiently for him to speak, not once breaking eye contact.

“Let me go, forget about me. I have to find Kage.”

Keith frowned, tears growing in his eyes as he slammed his hand on the glass wall. He choked out a couple of words in a language that Lance didn’t understand before he frowned.

“You’re mine Lance, you promised! He’s not your boyfriend, I am!”

“Well then why is he the one I remember?”

Another uncomfortable silence fell over them as Keith muttered under his breath, he stood up and stormed off towards the door. Lance tried to sit up in an attempt to apologise, to beg him to stay, not to leave him strapped to this bed like the galra had but he couldn’t find the will to beg. Deep down he that he deserved this. That it was better this way. Keith would stop hurting, he’d move on and find someone better. Someone more worthy. Someone who didn’t get themselves caught and tortured.

He shut his eyes, waiting for the darkness to return as Keith left. Second’s passed and the uncomfortable white of the lights in his cell didn’t darken causing him to open his eyes again. Keith was standing next to the control box for the cell, his fingers typing furiously over the unusual looking keys.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to make you remember me. Fuck Shiro.”

“Keith-”

He simply held his hand up as he finally opened the glass wall, the metal shackles clicked and fell off Lance’s wrists with a thud on the floor. He couldn’t help but gulp as Keith walked back to him, determination present on his face as he grabbed Lance’s hand and dragged him towards the doors. He wanted to pull away, to tell Keith he was being an idiot but his body told him not too. He hand was warm, he could feel his heat filling his body fighting back the chill in his bones. Lance didn’t fight when Keith laced their fingers together, it was extra support for walking as he felt unsteady on his legs while it seemed to help Keith calm down considerably.

“Where are we going?”
“Just shut up, you’ll see.”

“You’re not going to murder me are you?”

“Don't tempt me.”

Your fingers are quivering, it's hip when you're shivering I wanna hold your hand

Lance smiled softly when Keith chuckled at him, glad to be lightening the atmosphere as they walked. The floor was cold underneath Lance’s bare feet, his shoulder shook with a chill as he shivered. Keith seemed to notice as he sped up and pulled Lance closer to him. They rounded another corner and Lance was officially lost, this place was huge and he just couldn’t figure it out in his mind. It felt like they’d gone in a giant circle.

“You’re not just walking around until someone shows up to get me in trouble are you?”

“No, shut up, get in the elevator,” he mumbled softly pushing him towards the door, Lance’s hands catching the doors as he looked over his shoulder.

“I feel like I don't like elevators. What if it breaks down?”

“Shut up Lance.”

Lance fell silent as they went up a numberless amount of floors. Keith’s hands lingered on his arm as they stayed close to each other, enjoying the heat that came from their bare skin. He was still dressed in the thin clothing the pod requires them to wear when healing. It didn’t do much for protection against the elements including the cold. He shivered again leading to Keith grabbing his hand with a sigh.

“Come on, you need to get changed” he mumbled softly as the elevator stopped and they got out. From there it was only a couple of steps before they were in front of metal doors. A blue L hung above one and a red K above the other. They looked hand made which made Lance smile.

“Who made those?” He asked pointing, not paying attention to what Keith was doing. He barely looked up as he answered.

“You did, for Christmas.”

Oh

“I must be very good with my hands.”

Keith chuckled and rolled his eyes as he squeezed Lance’s hand.

“Put your free hand on the pad. That way you can get in your room and change. I’ll be right back okay.” He gave his hand another squeeze and then went into his own room, the door beeping as he placed his hand on the pad. Words flashed on the screen but Lance couldn’t read them clearly.

He stood in front of his own door for a couple more seconds before he gingerly placed a tanned hand on the door panel.

‘ Welcome back best looking Paladin.’ The door flashed and lance frowned. He wondered who put made it say that because clearly, they hadn’t seen Keith, or Allura, or Shiro.

Lance audibly gasped when the door opened and he stepped inside, the room was a mess. Clothes lay littered on the floor, scrunched up paper covered the pullout desk on the corner of the room while random items lay carelessly on the top of a chest of drawers, fairy lights hung above the bed with paper stars stuck to the ceiling with some sort of glue. Lance sighed deeply as he started picking up clothes off the floor dropping them in the shoot in the wall before moving onto the paper on the desk. Monochrome drawings of the team members, the lions, and Keith were all half finished or crumpled up with broken pencils and erasers lying among them, a thin layer of dust had settled over everything proving just how long he’d been gone.

At least they hadn’t touched his stuff. Yet, it meant nothing to him now and he had no hesitation in throwing everything into the bin that sat in the corner of the grey room. His arm stuffed the paper deeper into the bin as he turned to the drawers.  Bottle caps, pebbles, gum wrappers with words he couldn’t read, dried flowers, and a small bear on a keychain almost stared back at him as he rubbing a rock between his fingers. All of these little things had to hold some significance right? He wouldn’t just leave them here because he was lazy. He stared at them for another couple of minutes before using his arm to sweep everything into the bin except the bear that fell to the ground.

But I'm kissaphobic, don't wanna get too close to you

“Why are you so important?” he asks the bear as if it would answer. It was black and covered in a small red jumper that looked oddly specific.

“An old lady gave us a matching set,” Keith said standing in the doorway, a deep frown itched into his face as he looked to the bin.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning, it was messy in here. What do you mean a matching set? Where is the other one?”

“In my room. She gave them to us after our last date together before I joined the blade. She said our love was true and this way we would always be by each other's side.” Keith explained, crossing his arms over his chest and sighed deeply. Lance didn’t know what to say, his eyes looking back at the bear in his hand.

“You’re going to be really mad when you get your memories back and all your treasures are in the bin,” Keith said, causing Lance to look up with a frown.

“It’s just junk, it doesn’t matter.”

“Can you say that again so I can record you and show you when you get your memories back.”

“Sure-” Lance started as Keith grabbed some orange device from his pocket and held it up to lance who just looked confused on camera as he complained about the mess. Keith chuckled and smiled, mumbling something about he couldn’t wait to see Lance’s face. He couldn’t help but smile too, he seemed so happy at that moment he almost didn’t want to ruin it.

“Keith?”

“Yes, Lance?”

“What- what if I don't get my memories back?”

Silence

“Well, then, we’ll make new ones. We’ll teach you about your family and your friends on earth and us. You will remember Lance. I promise.” Keith stepped closer to him, taking the bin from his hands before placing it on the ground. “Look me in the eyes and promise me that when you’ll try your hardest to get your memories back. Promise me you’ll stay.” he wrapped his arms around his neck, his palm of his hand resting on the taller boys cheek to make him look at him.

Lance gulped, unsure of what to say. He wanted to stay, these people clearly cared about him; Keith clearly cared about him. But Lance wanted answers and he felt like staying would just get in the way of that. He was going to tell Keith that he couldn’t promise anything, that he couldn’t stay when he needed to find the truth; but his voice melted away when he looked into Keith’s eyes. There was so much hope hidden in the folds of his indigo eyes.

Lance found himself agreeing before he could stop himself. Anything to see Keith smile. Anything to make this easier for his friends.

“-ance, are you listening to me?” Lance blinked a couple of times and focused back on Keith’s face. He frowned softly and looked down.

“I’m sorry, about everything.”

“Shh- we’re going to fix it. It’s okay,” Keith mumbled softly as he moved to the tip of his toes and pressed his lips to Lance’s. It only lasted a couple of seconds before the alarm rang throughout the castle while the lights flashed red. Lance found himself trying to find Keith’s lips again as he pulled away. He looked scared as if Lance was the reason the alarms were sounding.

“Paladins, report to the bridge. There is a galra ship approaching us!” Allura’s voice said over the speaker as the alarm died down and Lance gulped as Keith grabbed his hand and they ran.

It wasn’t okay.

Your mouth is a hurricane, you'll drown me in the rain

Chapter Text

“Maybe this is what we need.”

Keith felt bad for thinking it. He felt awful for thinking it. As the sirens blared and the beautiful colour scheme of the Castle was flooded with red lights, Keith couldn’t stop himself from thinking those few dastardly words. That maybe, just maybe, that was what they needed.

To work as a team.

For the first time in a long while, the comfort that came in the silence of running wasn’t a comfort. It was a mess. The closeness he’d shared with Lance in mere fragments of moments was not anything like what they had shared. It was Lance’s shell trying to work things out in his own seemingly empty head, nothing more. So, Keith’s comfort in the silence of running and his moral compass were being tormented. Maybe they needed this threat to wake Lance from his state. Maybe that risk of war and wounds was what would trigger Lance’s instincts. To form Voltron once more. To be a whole team again.

I remember when we used to be so close.

Irritatingly, Keith’s head kept returning to the elevator. “I feel like I don't like elevators. What if it breaks down? ”. Breaking down of an elevator; that had happened to them. On their way to the Castle’s pool, they had to climb up it by using each other as counterweights. Could Lance remember that? That was either Lance making a small connection or Keith making a large overreaction. With Keith’s luck, he assumed the latter. That he was over thinking not just that but everything happening around him. He smiled to himself, remembering how convinced Lance had been that the Castle was haunted. That the Castle was ‘out to get him’. The Lance that Keith remembered would try and pick fights with huge ancient buildings, the one running beside him was not that person. The man beside him would jump at his own shadow, the man beside him wasn’t Lance.

Maybe Keith was thinking too much.

He had to stop that whirlwind of thoughts. He felt although time was repeating itself. When he’d first joined the Blades it had been similar, he was worried about Voltron and his team. He was worried about a lot of things. The first few missions had been a strange adjustment, now he had to repeat that. Adjustment wasn’t the easiest, Keith felt worse for Lance. If he never remembered, he’d have to re-adjust to the entire universe. A perpetual scale.

The next question was; was Lance willing to readjust? Or, would he stay in his own world of dead-ends and unanswerable questions?

There was a sudden whirring and clanking of metal, but Keith couldn’t see an origin. The sound echoed the corridor they ran through,
“What the quiznak was that?!”
“I don’t know.” Keith grimaced and quickened his step. He nearly skidded to a halt as he and Lance entered the bridge, the rest of the team was already there.

Red curse left on the counter.

“Keith, Lance, you’re safe!” Coran exclaimed, there was fear in his eyes. Fear much more concerning then the mere worry he usually showed.
“We’re good, what was that sound?!” Keith automatically noticed that they weren’t at their assigned stations.
“Whoever it was, they’ve boarded.” Lotor grimaced, a hand brushing his chin as he thought.
“Are you sure—” Lance was cut off as the Castle’s monitor burst into static. Lights of red shades glitched between screens of grey.
“What’s going on!?” Hunk seemed to be thinking aloud, assuming his thoughts were confused yells.
“Someone has control over the screen.” Pidge looked down at her own station’s screen.
“Who?!” As Allura asked, words appeared on the monitor, white against glitching red.

I would appreciate compliance.

“Well I would appreciate clarification!!” Coran yelled at the screen, shaking his fist at it as if he were threatening it.
“Compliance? Compliance for what?” Hunk was seemingly asking nobody, or at least nobody had any real answer.
“This doesn’t look like a hostage situation, and ambush maybe, but there’s only one craft on the radar. Which is both grounded and tiny. Perfect for like two people, max.”
Keith had forgotten what it was like to share thoughts aloud. The jumping back and forth of comments and questions was so different to what he’d become used to.
“Pidge, if they’ve boarded, could you find where they are?” Keith asked, looking towards Pidge. Sliding her frames up the bridge of her nose, she began typing.
“Yes, probably yes… give me a few seconds.”
“What’s our plan of attack?” Shiro inquired,
“Why plan an attack? They didn’t shoot the castle, they’ve not done anything yet. Why don’t we just wait and see who this is?” Hunk reasoned,
“We won’t be waiting long…” Pidge mumbled, looking up in concern, “ they’ve reached the bridge… ” Pidge was right. Just as the words left her mouth, the door to the bridge slid open. A figure stood, engulfed in shadow, menacingly by the door.

Every now and then I think of when we broke.

The figure that stepped out the shadows was not who he expected. Shadows were distorting, deceiving, disguising. So when the colour of the void slipped from his face and was met by the light, Keith froze. Froze would be an inaccurate word to use. He felt on fire, his heart thudded with raging paranoia. A consistent thumping of a muscle ready to burst. He felt chills, numb at his fingertips. Unable to move. He felt heavy; heavy in the heart and heavy in the feet. He felt light, as if his connection and understanding of everything had been severed.

The Galran looked a lot less rough then Keith was expecting. Not saying he wasn’t threatening, the daggers for eyes made up for what he lacked in the image of brute strength. There was sense of elegance there, an elegance simmering with danger. Like a blade, much quieter than a gun but just as deadly. His eyes were whiter than snow, glimmering. They had yellow irises, bright at the outside and fading back into white. White pupils, yellow irises, they were horrifically hypnotic.
The armour was certainly Galran, shades of grey alight with only mere aspects of bright pink. His hair a deep shade of purple, nearly black. It hung loosely around his ears. The most notable feature was his skin. The colour. The shade.

The lilac.

Lilac just as Lance had said. Skin of flawless lilac. The thing Keith found, the longer he stared at who had to be Kage, was that he wasn’t a ghost. Up until that point, Keith had been set in his beliefs that Lance’s memories were beyond incorrect. They were fabricated and distorted by Lance himself. A coping mechanism. But there, in front of them, was Kage. Picture perfect to what Lance has described.
“Kage?” Lance’s voice had so many tones that they conflicted. He was surprised and shocked, yet there was a hint of happiness tainted with a sense of confusion. As if Lance hadn’t believed his own story until then. As if he’d been hoping the memories of Kage were not the fabrications everyone had been telling him that they were.

I know that they will say I'm crazy, but I don't care

The Galran was silent. Keith didn’t know if he wanted to hear him talk. If he spoke, Keith felt as if his whole world would spiral. As if the syllables would tear the last threads holding him to the ground. If he heard him speak, he was there. Not some nightmare, not some lucid dream. Real. Reality.

Keith saw the Galran grip the handle of his sword, fingers tightening with a strange sense of elegance. The sword was holstered to his belt, on his left side. It was of a medium length, Keith guessed about 30 inches, and was one of the most refined pieces of weaponry Keith had ever seen. The sword itself was a deep shade of ebony, highlighted with silver patterns and blade edges. The ornate cross-guard was something to behold, swirls and lines of no identifiable pattern wound their way across the handle. At the point where the blade branched from the handle, curving out before curving back in, was the Galran symbol shimmering in silver. The same as Keith’s dagger. There was another sword, the same, holstered to his back.

“And who might you be?” Keith wished he felt even a mere fragment of the confidence Allura had in her voice. The Galran looked at her, white pupils piercing. He ignored her and took a few moments to look at each of them, to stare every Paladin down with eyes of Tuscan suns. When they met Keith, he felt a hole open in his heart. It was fear he hadn’t felt before, the type of fear people feel when they’re having a nightmare. Raw, vicious and seemingly unending. Keith wanted to wake from his nightmare. Looking to Shiro, his head tilted, his eye narrowed.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kuron.”

It was only so often that words sent chills down Keith’s spine. Those words sent a blizzard. Keith felt as though the voice was disembodied, he didn’t want to place the sound waves to the figure before them. He didn’t want to make that connection. He didn’t want to accept the reality of it all. The Galran’s voice could only be described as honeyed, nice to hear but difficult to trust.
“I-I’m sorry?” Keith could see the fingertips of Shiro’s metal hand begin to glow in violet.
“Kage Rentai. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” His words flowed like the gentle lapping of waves, but Keith knew better then to wade into a rip. He feared a tsunami was building. His world was already crumbling, he didn’t need a tidal wave to sweep the remains of it away.

I'll never let it hold me down. I'll never let you walk through hell.

“You’re real…” Lotor was speaking his thoughts aloud, eyes narrowed.
“Indeed. Unless your eyes are betraying you. I was unaware that my existence was in debate. Guess this is the tie breaker.”
Kage’s voice was hypnotic, the kind of voice you listen to and follow without much question. Keith found the honey tone repulsive; so sweet that it was sickly. He found himself grinding his teeth, jaw clenched, he wanted to break the Galran’s pretty face.

Keith’s fury sprang to life. He lashed out.

He swung out without meaning too, the anger that bubbled through his veins drove him forwards. Keith had succeeded in stopping his thoughts, pure hatred was all that was fuelling him. Kage took a step to the side, dodging Keith’s dagger by a mere millimetre. There was the briefest moment of hesitation, where both Keith and Kage met each other’s eyes. Keith couldn’t read anything within those white pupils, but the rest of his expression hadn’t changed in the slightest. There was no fear, no anger, no surprise. Nothing. That lack of emotion angered Keith even more, just as he tried to swing out again he was stopped. Fingers tightened around his collar, he was pulled backwards and held too far away to touch Kage. Keith was quivering with anger, thrashing slightly to escape the grasp. Turning his head at an awkward angle, he saw that it was Lotor who had pulled him back.

I would lose myself for you. And don't you know that all I need is a little bit of company.

Kage took a closer step forward, tilting his head and staring Keith down.
You’re Galran… those markings are distinct… new, are they?”
Keith bared his teeth, refusing to reply. From that distance, Keith could see Kage’s markings. A darker shade of lilac outlining his eyes; thin at the inside and growing wider to the outer part of his eye. Those markings trailed down his cheeks, ending just above his jaw. Two smaller parallel markings below each corner of his lips and similarly, larger ones further up his cheeks.
“Kage, is it?” Lotor kept his voice smooth and calm, “You’re also Galran, are you not? Do you know who I am…?” Lotor trailed off, his grip on Keith’s collar not loosening.
“Oh I know exactly who you are, Prince. Worked quite closely with your father, I’m sorry for your lack of loss. Cut him down yourself, I hear…”
Keith saw Lotor’s eyes narrow.
“How is it that I don’t know about you?” That question intrigued Keith, he stopped struggling.
“There is a lot you don’t know, your Highness.” Kage’s words were made of acid.
“What is it you’re here for?” Lotor lost his patience. Kage hesitated.

'I'm here for Lance.”

I would lose myself for you...

Chapter Text

“ Lance”

Silence followed Kage as he spoke, his tone was thick and he could feel everyone turn to look at him. He couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes as he looked up at the person he was meant to be dating. He looked almost exactly like he remembered him; the same fluffy hair, the same deep yellow eyes, yet he was taller. Lance found himself having to look up at him rather than just look ahead.

Gold and rose, the color of the dream I had

“Kage…” His voice cracked as he walked forward, the tears actively streaming down his face now as he got closer. He smelt different, like charcoal and smoke. It was suffocating to the point that Lance felt dizzy, it made his legs weak and his hands shake. A nagging voice in the back of his head told him it was wrong as doubt flooded his mind. The voice around him were barely a whisper, his ears pulsating with blood distorting all sound in rhythmic thumps. He felt like he was under water, drowning in his own betrayal and selfishness. When he finally looked away, his eyes found Keith before he’d even planned to look. His eyes were dark, his face twisted into disgust as Lance clung tightly to the taller male. He looked heartbroken, and it was Lance’s fault again. His hands tightened on Kage’s arm and he didn’t let go until he chuckled and leant down to nuzzle his cheek.

“Did you miss me, Blue?” He purred softly, his breathe hot against his ears as he spoke. He was using his body to block Keith, he could tell the moment he shifted carefully in front of him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you.” He said it louder this time, his eyes held sadness but he couldn’t help but smirk as Keith growled.

Not too long ago a misty blue and the lilac too

It was an inhuman noise that sent shivers up Lance’s spine. It screamed anger and possessiveness. Lance understood it as if it was his own thoughts, as if he was feeling the same way causing him to push Kage away and take a step back. His hands were shaking as he watched everyone with wide eyes.

Silence followed his reaction.

“Keith saved me.” He said before he’d really thought about it. Kage watched with furrowed eyebrows, the Paladins were holding their breaths involuntary while Lance just gulped. Keith walked closer to the blue Paladin, standing in front of him slightly as he glared, his hand still tight on his bayard.

“Is that so?” Kage sneered as he looked to Keith with disgust. “I suppose I should thank you for saving my mate .” the term of endearment purposely stood out of his sentence as the paladins watched in silence. Keith stepped forward as confusion flashed across his face, Kage smirked in return his body lowering in preparation for the oncoming attack. Before any conflict arose, Hunk coughed and stuck his hand up awkwardly as if he was asking to go to the bathroom during a test with Iverson.

“Hang on, back up a second here. Your mate ? As in your friend? As in the stereotypical Australian term for a friend.” Hunk asked looking at them with crossed arms, Pidge snorted and shook her head.

“Crikey, well how could I be so bloody blinkered, we had no idea you were such good Buddies. Fair dinkum. ” She said sarcastically with an awful australian accent, earning a quizzical look from Hunk as he continued.

“But, I thought they were meant to be together… like, together-together?”

“Wait, are we not being sarcastic about that? Really? Clearly he means it in some weird Galran term for a life long partner.”

“O h .”

The entire room fell silent as Hunk blushed softly and coughed, “Sorry, Sorry, go back to your angst.” Pidge rolled her eyes again and grabbed him by the arm as he dragged him towards the door, muttering under her breath as they walked.

“Kage’s a bit of a drongo…”
“Pidge! I don’t know what that means! I don’t speak Australian!” Hunk exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air causing everyone to turn and look at them again,
“For the last time Hunk. It’s not a language;” Pidge trailed off, looking away, “it’s a prison colony!”

The paladins stared at the two retreating figures, Kage looking to Lance as if he’d have some idea of what was going on but Lance just shook his head, almost as confused as Kage.

There you were under the tree of song

“Forgive them, they’ve taken on Lance’s role of fixing the situation with awful humour.” Allura explained as she crossed her arms, her eyes pinned on Kage yet her expression was still and void of all emotion. Coran looked almost the same, yet there was anger hidden in his eyes as he stared between the two Galran’s. Lotor was expressing his emotions clearly through his facial expressions, he was not impressed at this stranger.

Shiro was the first to speak, “Well, Kage, I’m sure you and Lance would like to catch up. How about we leave you be.”

“No!” Keith snapped almost instantly moving to grab Lance’s arm. His eyes burned into Lance’s as he stared at him, so clearly ready to stand back next to Keith. He wanted this nightmare to end, he just wanted his memories back. He wanted to be back in the dark room with Keith, surrounded by Keith’s scent of sandalwood and leather. He took a step away from Kage who frowned, his eyes glaring down at Lance uncomfortably; his yellow out of place to their normal deep purple. Kage pulled him back to his side and smiled to Shiro, who politely pointed towards the door.

“My mate and I are going to go have a break before we leave, we’d appreciate some privacy.” He explained as he half dragged Lance towards the door, his claws digging uncomfortably into his sides.

“Now, you’re going to explain why you smell like another, ” He growled softly as they went through the door that closed with a hiss. Lance didn’t remember any of the rooms, but clearly Kage knew where he was going because they ended back up in the prison cell. His claw were still burning in his side as they walked. An awkward silence hung over them as Kage let go continuing to walk towards the control panel of the cage. Lance felt his heart jump into his throat as the lights dimmed and the room felt cold.

I have never laid eyes on you not before this timeless day

“Kage?” Lance mumbled softly, his hands clenched by his side as he gulped.

“I’m going to give you a chance to confess Lance,” Kage tilted his head as if menacingly.

“Confess what?” Lance asked, his breath barely a whisper.

“You cheated on me.”

“What… no? I would never, I love you!” Lance stuttered out, moving forward to reach out to Kage. His expression was dark and there was pain in his eyes. Lance’s regret skyrocketed at his face, because he did cheat on his boyfriend; he betrayed the one he loved most for a stranger .

“You’re lying.” Kage mumbled softly, sadness lacing his tone as he took a step back from Lance who tried to reach out to him.

“I- I’m not!”

“Lance, don't pretend like you’re innocent!”
“Kage- please I swear!”
“I can smell him on you! I could feel the betrayal through our bond you! You betrayed me Lance!” He snapped loudly, lashing out in anger and getting into his personal space. “We’re bonded for life and you broke that! Why? Why am I not good enough for you?” Tears filled Lance’s eyes as he gasped his hand covering his mouth. Kage was not the threat the Paladins had assumed him to be; standing before Lance heaving breaths through a mix of anger and sadness. Lance felt a swell of pity amongst his guilt. Kage’s hands came to rest on his face, their breaths mixed together as Lance searched his eyes for any signs of forgiveness.

“Kage, I’m-.. Sorry.” He mumbled softly, tears finally pouring down his face as he whimpered, his lips turning into a pout while he looked down. “I was so confused, and lost, and scared, and I just- I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m sorry, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

The galran sighed and pulled him into a hug pressing his lips to the top of his head.

“I know Blue, I know.” He sighed softly as he pulled him away and looked into his eyes again. Lance gulped, feeling his mouth almost flooded from salvia which was an unattractive trait he’d had from his youth, at least he thought so. He couldn’t remember. His thumb trailed over Lance’s bottom lip as he sighed.

Once smiled my name and you stole my heart away

“Look at you, my gorgeous star. They’ve ruined your pretty face.” He tsked as he rubbed his cheek.

“It was an accident- the ship crashed. Keith, he was injured.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you’d just stayed there Blue, I would have found you.”

Lance was silent, Kage wasn’t listening to him which made him feel like he was wrong.

“T-They were going to kill me..” he muttered doubting himself and his words.

“No they weren’t. You’re being over dramatic Lance. They didn’t even hurt you. It’s just a lie those people came up with to hurt and manipulate you.” He said more firmly this time.

“No- you’re- they wouldn’t.” He mumbled, tears filling his eyes again as he gulped. Kage’s hands burned against his skin, his nails pressing uncomfortably into his cheeks as he made Lance look at him.

“Would I lie to you, Blue? Have I ever lied to you?”

Lance shook his head as tears rolled down his face again, he let out a sob and sniffles.

“No.”

“Exactly. Because you’re mine Lance.”

Their eyes locked for a moment, Lance could see the colours swirl in his irises like the sun setting on a cloudy day. Bright flashes of oranges and yellows swirled in the milky whites of his eyes and clashed together to the point where lance couldn’t really tell where his iris end and where his sclera finished. Lance remembered there being more purple in his eyes,in his expression. He remembered adoring the lilac colour that spread across his cheeks when he blushed. He didn’t find it in Kage, yet his breathe stopped in his throat when the taller male looked at him, he felt weak in the knees, he believed he loved this boy more than anything.

Kage relaxed his fingers on Lance’s face when his sobs slowed down and his breathing returned to normal.

“Thank you, you’re ugly when you cry.” He mumbled softly and Lance laughed as if it was a joke. He smiled softly and Kage smiled back, his fangs pinching the top of of his lip as he wet his lips with his tongue.

Lance closed his eyes and if on cue their lips where connected. It was rough from the start, all teeth and biting and his tongue forcing his mouth open in such an uncomfortable way that caused lance to whine and pull back; or at least try too. Kage pulled him closer again and bit down on his bottom lip forcefully. Lance yelped in pain loudly as blood trickled into his mouth.

This caused Kage to pull back and frown.

“I’m sorry, I could taste him on you and I got mad.” He mumbled softly, kissing the boys neck softly as if that would make up for everything. It didn’t. Lance was shaking and he couldn’t help running his tongue over the puncture in his lip. It was like a lip piercing gone wrong.

“Blue?” Kage said softly, letting his words vibrate against Lance’s neck.

“Mhm?” He whimpered softly.

“I need you to listen to me when I say this, I am leaving and that means you are leaving. Do you understand?” His tone was harsh and his grip has tightened on his arms again.

“But- they know who I am. They could help get my memories back.” Lance stuttered. He didn’t want to leave them; not really. They seemed important and he felt happy with Keith around.

“Maybe I should rephrase that. You’re coming with me, because, anything could happen to them if you stay . Do you understand now? They are nothing. You belong to me. You’re mine.”

----

“ Lance !”

The former blue Paladin sighed as he looked up at Kage’s jet; he was getting really tired of people yelling at him. Not that he’d voice it out loud. His lip sting from the freshly opened wound and his eyes were red and puffy. He could guess what he was going to see before he turned around. Keith was standing there with that same heartbroken look on his face from the day they met. Pidge and Hunk hung back, their expressions blank and their eyes dark. As if they knew something but wasn’t sharing.

Gold and rose the color of the dream I had misty blue and lilac too

Allura walked in the doors with Coran and Shiro trailing behind, who really didn’t seem to care at all.

“Lance, you can’t leave. Not with him.” Keith said, walking closer to him. He was trying to make himself seem bigger, more intimidating but lance couldn’t help but think he was just a little bit cute acting so jealous. It was awful of him really. Since he was the one who was hurting him. But he had an ever growing fire for the half galra and it was burning him alive.

“I’m- I’m sorry. Kage said he knows where they’ve got my memories. I have to get them back.” He said softly, walking closer to him. Like a moth to a flame. He needed Keith’s warmth. All of this was terrifying and he didn’t know what to do.

“Lance,” Kage warned, causing lance to take a step back in fear, which seemed to just piss off Keith more.

“You promised Lance, you promised you wouldn’t leave again.”

“I know- I know- I don’t have a choice- he’ll-“

“ Lance! ” Kage snapped this time coming out from the ship, his facial markings seemingly doubled, two marks appearing from the base of his chin to the bottom on his lip. His eyes were glowing and he looked angry.

“He’ll what? Lance?” Allura said, finally stepping forward, her face slowly melted into one of concern when lance didn’t answer. He looked to Lage who tried to smile at him in a reassuring way that he was doing the right thing, yet when he reached out to grab his hand. Lance pulled away.

“I don’t- I can’t- I don’t want to go.” He stuttered, holding his head in his hands as he tried to get away from Kage, running straight towards Keith.

As stereotypical as it felt to say, lance felt as if time slowed down, as if his body stopped moving when Kage spoke and suddenly he wasn’t in control of his limbs anymore.

“Operation: Shadow. Codeword Lilac” Kage finishes. Lance felt himself reply in a monotone voice that wasn’t him at all.

“Codeword accepted.” The voice said, causing everyone to gasp. Lance was in his head screaming, he didn’t understand what was going on. Seconds later his eyes shut and he fell to ground, only to be picked up by Kage, who held a dagger to his throat.

“ What did you do to him !” Keith screamed, summoning his bayard.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you, Red Paladin. I’ll kill him if you come any closer.” Kage said, walking into the ship his back turned to them with such confidence.

Just before he shut the door of the Jet, he turned to look at them and smirked.

“ And here the witch thought the blue Paladin meant nothing to you .”

There you were under the tree of song sleeping so peacefully

Chapter Text

Over all the years of Keith’s life; he’d figured one thing out for certain. He felt three main types of anger: defensive, denial and devastation. He knew, all too well, that the spectrum of anger spread much further than those terms, but most fitted under them as headings. Summaries, if you will.

Defensive anger was the kind that materialised itself when it was facing a threat. It usually took form in real issues, it could be fought or stopped. The Galra sprang to mind. A force to oppose, war to win. Defensive anger was the fighting against upturned noses and snide threats. The fight against tones sharper than glass and words of acid.

Denial was Keith’s strong suit, the middle-ground between defense and devastation. Ignorance can be bliss or, alternatively, a somewhat simpler means of coping. It’s the enraged lack of acceptance towards something which has been lost. Keith was good at denial; at simply covering his ears with his palms. Pushing how he felt aside and simply adapting. There was less to deny on the back of his eyelids, he could deal with his own company until things had calmed.

Devastation, however, hit Keith with so much more force. Something he’d never learnt until Kage’s jet was out of sight.

Devastation, which Keith had never fully addressed, was the fighting of what has already transpired. The heartbreak which accompanies a serious loss. The battle of that which cannot be changed; the past . Its danger lies within its silence, becoming dark when it lingers for too long. Fighting the what-if-I-had-have’ s. When thoughts spiral.

Keith’s thoughts were spiraling.

Keith had fought countless battles, been in so many fights that he knew them like the back of his hand. But all these what-ifs were foreign, unfamiliar and confusing. What if that plane had not crashed, would they have ever found Voltron? And, in turn, would Kage ever have found Voltron too? What if Keith had fought Kage, stopped that jet from taking off? What if he’d gotten Lance caught in the crossfire? What if he had just never found Lance in the first place… what would’ve happened?

All these questions had a grand total of zero answers, leaving Keith frustrated. Even more so when he felt all the Paladian’s eyes on him. Well, nearly all the Paladins. Those stares were burning into Keith, watching and waiting for something . But Keith stood, dead still, staring at the light trails from Kage’s ship. As that light dimmed, Keith realised he couldn’t stand on the Castle’s bridge. He couldn’t stay standing where he was. He had to be somewhere else- anywhere else.

“Keith…?” Shiro’s voice was a mere whisper. It was concerned, it cared. Keith clenched his jaw, not believing the tone. Not after locking Lance away, not after giving up on him. The call brought Keith’s body back into the moment. Keith’s eyes were locked only the jet’s trail, watching the mere sparkles in space which were the only proof that Lance had been there. Gone, vanished, into the void of space.
“We need to go after him…” Keith whispered,
“And what? Kage will kill him!” Shiro responded, “Keith, look at me, we have limited options here…”
“No, we have one option!” Keith snapped. The only thing he could see was the dead look Lance’s eyes had had. “Figure out what the hell Operation Shadow is and save Lance!”
Operation Shadow. It felt wrong on Keith’s lips. Codeword Lilac. It felt wrong in Keith’s mind.
“Save him from what? None of this makes any sense! Lance is his ‘ mate’, whatever that is, and he can’t remember a damn thing! God knows what the hell this ‘operation’ is but we can’t go after Lance now!”

Keith wasn’t taking that as an answer and, suddenly, he could move again. He ran. Shiro reached out but he just barely missed Keith’s arm.

I wish you would've listened. Can you hear me now?

Keith knew Shiro had followed him. The yells and protest echoing off the Castle’s walls was evident enough. Keith had lost him, and the walls seemed to be growing closer to him with every passing second. Enclosing and trapping him. He was being suffocated in his own home. Keith craved that silence. That goddamn silence that brought peace and calmness with it. His vision dipped in and out, his heart was skyrocketing, he was falling into panic. Falling into devastation. That third stage of anger he always refused to reach. Time became an irrelevant entity. It existed, yes, but Keith couldn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t know how long he had been running for by the time his legs gave out from under him and he crashed to the ground. It didn’t matter, he’d reached where he unconsciously intended to go.

Keith hadn’t intentionally run to the airlock but that’s where his feet had taken him. He crashed, exactly where he had many moons ago. When Alfor's A.I. has been corrupted by the lingering effects of the Galran crystal and the Castle had begun to malfunction. Keith had been training with a Gladiator robot who didn’t know how to disengage. It had pursued Keith, all the way to that airlock. That airlock which was not only counting down to deployment but was also holding Lance hostage. Keith had jettisoned the Gladiator into the void and, by some miracle, saved Lance from the jaws of death. It was there, all that that time ago, where he and Lance had fallen to the ground in exhaustion. It was there, in present time, when Keith and only Keith fell to the ground in exhaustion.

He was trying to kill me!
Well, is he the Castle? Because that's who's trying to kill me!

Lance had been convinced the Castle was out to get him. ‘ Apples and bananas’, he’d said. The ridiculousness of it nearly tugged a smile in the corner of Keith’s lips. That was a memory. A real memory he could not have fabricated. Yet the void suffocating Keith’s heart was trying to tell him something else that he didn’t want to hear. That Kage was real and Lance was gone.

Keith was pressed up into the corner by the door, knees by his chin and hands over ears. His face was sticky with tears he hadn’t even been aware that he was crying. He tried to take a breath, but it was shaky and broken. Keith’s eyes stung, they felt puffy and he imagined redder than his lion. Tremors ran through his limbs, poisoning his veins. Keith was shaking so uncontrollably that he had to clench his teeth. With eyes slammed shut, he breathed long, painful breaths between gritted teeth. It wasn’t all successful, any time his heart settled even the merest bit, a shudder would wreak havoc through Keith regardless. Tears began to dampen his clothes, his eyelids felt glued shut. Unconsciously, he bit at the skin of his lips until little beads of blood told him that he best stop.

You're in control. The thin red line.

It was then that Keith realised how wrong he had been about being a loner.

A change in life. The pride that cries.

Logical over emotional, maybe. But loner? No . It was then that Keith realised just how many walls he’d built up. So many walls that they had congregated into forts. For all his life he’d only known the pain that came with closeness. The loss of his parents, the loss of his home. Walls had been built, too thick to break through and too tall to climb over. No one had ever tried, besides Shiro. Shiro who had had accepted that fort’s existence and done his best to take care of him. Lance, however, hadn’t accepted it. Lance had dived head-first into the torrentially deep moats.

Lance had scaled those walls.

Somehow, sometime, by some miracle, Lance had managed to find a place in Keith’s fort. Keith remembered their rivalry at the Galaxy Garrison and how much of a nuisance Lance had been. How he’d suddenly appeared when he was saving Shiro, how they’d then go on to form Voltron. Then came the constant badgering and bad pick-up lines. Keith was convinced that he said yes to a date just so he could shut Lance up. As time passes, Keith found he wanted just the opposite. Lance had raw enthusiasm and energy, something Keith was no longer being tired by. He wanted that voice now. That enthusiasm, that energy.

The lesson we should learn from lies.

But in the cold darkness of the hallway, Keith could only find the energy to lash out. With a tightened fist, white skin stretched over knuckles, Keith hit hard enough to have broken bone. The ache that pulsed through it was enough for him to take a breath. His knuckles would discolour into deep shades of purple, he was sure of that. That pain gave him something to focus on, something to distract him.

“Keith...?” The words reached Keith’s ears but he didn’t respond. He wouldn’t respond. Isolation was what he craved, to be left to his own thoughts. To cry waterfalls until the source ran dry. There was no conversation that could right all these wrongs. “Keith I’m so sorry this has happened...”
There was a small hand on his arm, the contact was enough to raise Keith’s head in the slightest. Pidge sat cross-legend beside him, her glasses nearing the end of her nose as her eyes fell downcast. How she got there so quietly, Keith wasn’t sure of. Keith didn’t say anything, he just wanted to hide his puffy, red eyes.
“I can’t imagine what this is like...”
She could. Keith knew that Pidge could. The search for her brother and father had been torturous. The disappearance of dear person.
“I’m... I’m just...” no words connected between Keith’s thoughts and his mouth. Each syllable just tumbled from his tongue with no direction.
“You dropped this.” Pidge held her hand out, offering an item in her palm, “I found it, outside Lance’s room. Figured it was yours though... where did you get it?”
Keith outstretched his arm to take hold of it. There was little light to identify it immediately but Kieth shortly figured it out. It was the old lighter, the one he’d found in the ship that had crashed.
“W-when the Blades sent me away... they gave me a ship, it was old and dodgy. When we crashed on that planet, it was storming. I used this to make a fire in a cave.” Keith’s voice started functioning again, the tears were slowing. His heart was still clenching, feeling as if it were short circuiting.
“You didn’t tell us much about that planet... gave us a hell of a fright when Red woke up and just took off.” Pidge’s words were quiet and soft.
“It’s was...” Keith trailed off; thinking, remembering, “it was strange.”
“How so?” Keith hesitated at the question that Pidge posed.

“For one, it was the strangest colour scheme... like Earth but in dark shades.” Keith recalled how at first the lightning had illuminated it. The colours of the land had been the last thing on his mind, “it was all shades of navy and mahogany. The trees were all a deep red and the lower plants, the bushes and grass, they were all a deep blue.”
Keith thought about how he’d noticed it more when Red had showed up. When he and Lance were leaving and the storm had cleared. Although, just like when they crashed, Keith had a million other things on his mind. He did distinctly remember, however, standing at the entrance of that cave. With torrenting waterfalls in the cave behind them and trees of gorgeous shades before them, that Keith had wanted not much more then to take Lance’s hand.

For a split second Keith had forgotten everything that had happened in the past few hours. It hit him again, hard. Pidge hadn’t said much, she’d let him talk in unnecessary detail. He tried to hold it in but he clenched his teeth as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Mahogany and navy, huh?”

Pidge’s voice was still quiet however, this time, much more confident. Keith sniffed, wiping his cheeks.
“What?” He whispered, meeting her eyes.
“Mahogany and navy.” Keith tilted his head until she elaborated further, “red and blue, none of this lilac bullshit. I don’t know about you, but, I think that’s a sign.”
Keith screwed his face up.
“What?”
Pidge rolled her eyes,
“I think the universe is trying to tell you something. Without the blue soil, can the red trees grow? Maybe, but not well...” Keith furrowed his brow as Pidge tried to explain her thoughts, “what I’m trying to say is, I think Lance grounds you... and without that I worry you may fall...”

Keith processed Pidge’s strange but somewhat accurate analogy. Could Keith live on without Lance? Probably, yes. But it would barely be living, it would simply not be worth living. Keith imagined a world without Lance and he could only see a dull universe of dying stars.

“What...” he wasn’t sure how to respond, “what do you suggest...?”
“Without trees, we can’t breath.” Keith wanted to tell her to stop with the analogy but, a part of him needed a fresh perspective, “and that means the team falls apart... we can’t let that happen.”
Pidge pushed the glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“We’re going after that jet.”
“You heard Shiro?” Keith bit his lip.
“I mean sure the guy is basically your brother, but, d’ya know how often I listen to my brother? Not as much as I should, I can tell you that for free. I’m getting you to your lion and you’re going after that jet.”

“Why? Lance chose to go with Kage…? He wouldn’t remember me. He doesn’t.”

“Because…” Pidge took a sharp breath, lowering her volume, “because we found something you need to see.”

I wish you would've listened. Can you hear me now?

Pidge led Keith down the corridors of the castle. Her steps almost hesitant despite all their urgency. She lead him to a small room with a few computers, the lights were out but the computer screens dimly light the room in shades of washed, pale blue. Matt was leant against the furthest wall and Hunk sat in front of one of the computers solemnly. Pidge shut the door behind Keith as he entered with caution, not caring whether he looked as if he’d been crying.

“Don’t freak out…” Matt inisted,
“The only thing that could freak me out is you telling me not to freak out…” Keith mumbled, looking to Hunk, “just tell me.”
“We looked over Lance’s results.”
“Results?” Keith asked Pidge.
“I took scans, before Lance woke up, I feared he had brain damage of a sort.”
“And?”
“I found nothing.” Pidge looked to the floor,
“Then Hunk and I looked over them, looked normal to me but…” Matt trailed off, “Hunk found something.”
Keith raised an eyebrow,
“I found what looked like a fragment…” Hunk didn’t meet Keith’s eyes, instead he showed Keith the scans, “see here, this little break here, the dips, I think they’re… interruptions. Like broken Delta waves, Lance is awake but he’s not really awake...”
Keith couldn’t make sense of the mess of waves and colours and patterns on the screen but Hunk was pointing and gesturing as if all made perfect sense.
“What do these mean…?”
“I don’t think Lance has amnesia, I think his memories are all there just, altered in some way…” Hunk was staring at the display, star struck,
“ Altered?” Keith repeated in a breathless whisper. It was that single moment that Keith put a thousand stay pieces together.

It's us against the world

It made very little sense, yes, but was somehow the only thing that did make sense. Lance still had all those memories, he’d just been made to believe they featured other people. When Keith had first stumbled across Lance the Galran had said ‘....has been extracted ’. They were talking about memories. Lance’s memories had been stolen; extracted and manipulated. It all made some sort of sick sense. Somehow by some means...

Kage was Keith.

Chapter Text

(This chapter is dedicated to Carthix, because man I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks.)

The End.

Right, that’s what happens next. They move on, forget about Voltron and go back to their lives. Yet, Lance was stuck by the window watching the stars pass in colourless blurs. As if all colour had been stripped from them and all that was left was an empty shell of something that once shone bright and beautiful. He ignored the tears in his eyes as he tried to avoid moving his wrists, the cuffs that Kage must have put on him rubbed his skin raw. Nothing made sense anymore, he’d lost control of his own body, his own memories had failed him, and now the supposed love of his life had him shackled in a ship as they flew away from answers. Even his silent sobs sounded foreign to him as they echoed around the cockpit. Each time he sniffled he could hear Kage grip the controls just the bit tighter, that bit harder, he was slowly losing control of the ship yet lance said nothing.

Love it's hard, I know all your lights are red, but I'm green to go

“There are tissues right next to you, use them and stop making that fucking noise.” Kage finally snapped which only lead to lance jumping in his seat and pulling away from him as much as he could. Kage was beyond mad, he’d spent the first dobash talking to himself about how everything had gone to shit, how it was all Voltron’s fault, how they had just let the blue paladin go none of this would have happened. They weren’t meant to care about him. Hell, Kuron had purposely hidden the location of the blue paladin so this wouldn’t happen.

It was another dobash before Kage spoke again, this time his voice was gentle and kind. He’d put the ship into autopilot before walking down in front of Lance and sighed.

“Oh blue.” He stopped and sighed as Lance looked away from him.

“This wasn’t meant to be this difficult,” He said with a sincere expression. His shoulders hung low as he leaned against the opposite side of the window from Lance. “Not all is fair in Love and War. I didn’t ask for this either you know.”

Lance was looking at him now, as if Kage would tell him what was really going on.

Used to see you high, now you're only low

“My parents weren’t the greatest people in the world. After Daibazaal was destroyed, Galran colonies started popping up everywhere across the universe, most were rich and could handle themselves.” He shuffled a bit on the cold metal before continuing, still refusing to look at Lance who watched with furrowed eyebrows and questions hanging on his lips.

“But other places suffered, people turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with the times. My parents did this, they sold me before I was five to pay back their debt. I became a toy for the witch.” Lance couldn’t take it anymore, this was wrong.

“Hang on, you don’t have parents anymore.” He interrupted causing Kage to look at him with those piercing yellow eyes.

“Your dad died when you were little and you haven’t met your mother before,” Lance said with confusion as he held his head, the dull throb that had been there for days had started to grow more intense like it did every time he felt so close to remembering something.

Kage looked at him as if he was dumb, like he should have caught on by now but he didn’t acknowledge his comment, he simply continued with his story.

I want you I'll colour me blue

“I grew up doing everything she asked of me. I became the soldier she wanted me to be, I changed my name when she asked, I killed people, and the lied to others. And I never felt any regret. I was a soldier, this was my job.” His gaze travelled to his hand and he sighed deeply staring intently at his nails. Something inside of Lance wondered how many innocent people had been murdered by that hand, by the person in front of him. Part of him was scared, another part of him felt like he’d killed people too.

“I was unstoppable. Then you came along Blue, my biggest mission yet.” he was looking at him properly this time, his piercing yellow eyes burning holes in Lance’s skin as he watched the boy.

“It was simple, be the face for someone else. Convince you that I was right and they were wrong and then take you away. But the memories they gave me, these fake ones they’d made to make it seem like I was who you wanted me to be. I found myself falling in love with you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you snuggle into the blankets when you sleep. Your hair in the mornings. I found myself straying further from my mission of just using you to defeat Voltron and just wanting to enjoy my time with you.”

Lance remained silent, the gears turning in his head were working overtime to process everything that Kage was saying. Yet he could feel the lack of emotion on his face as he looked on, as if he wasn’t surprised anymore.

“Lance, do you understand what I’m trying to say? I’m not who you think I am. But I love you nevertheless. And if you’ll have me, for me this time. I think we’d be really happy together.”

He’d been kidnapped, tortured, hurt, threatened, locked up, and now he was sitting here listening to everything fall into place and even if he still didn’t truly understand what was going on and no matter what his memories told him. He knew what was true now and it needed to be said.

Anything it takes to make you stay

“ I don't love you.” The words hung in the air. They were suffocating, and he could see the recoil on Kage’s face but Lance didn’t care, the entire world had fallen off his shoulders and he was free. He’d made a small hole in the brick wall that held back who he was, just enough to breathe again and he wasn’t going to stop until it was gone.

“I have never loved you, maybe the thought of you or these memories that the Galra gave me. But not you. I don't know who you are.” No one said anything after that, there wasn’t anything to say anymore. Lance was tired, he was sore, and boy was he done. Kage knew then that he’d lost that he’d never been in to begin with. He could tell that Lance was serious now, as if something had clicked in his head like a switch and he’d just changed. As if they’d pushed this boy to his breaking point and he just didn’t care anymore.

“But-” Kage started only to fall silent, he didn’t know what to say. Lance stared at him, a challenge in his eyes as he watched the Galran stumble around with his words. Lance could tell he was becoming desperate and he almost felt bad for him. Kage reached over and took the shackles off his wrists, his hands lingered on Lance’s skin as their eyes locked together.

“I have- I have your memories. I’ll give them back to you, if you promise to stay with me.” He said in barely a whisper, ‘Please Blue. We can run away together, we can make a life for ourselves. You can learn to love me, the real me. I- I can’t lose you.” He muttered, his eyes pooling with tears as Lance just frowned the more he spoke.

Kage let go of his hands and sat back, he knew the answer before Lance spoke. The boy could tell he wanted to get angry, he wanted to yell and scream, but he also knew it was hopeless.

“You don’t really love me, Kage, if you did you wouldn’t have to bribe me.” He said softly and leaned forward pressing his lips to the Galran’s forehead. He felt tears drip off his face that hadn’t been there as the other in front of him let out a sob and curled up into Lance’s chest. He rubbed his back gently and whispered words of comfort trying to get him to calm down as he cried.

Lance remembers seeing one other Galran cry before, in almost a mirror situation. Except for this time in his mind the purple melted off his skin replaced with gorgeous porcelain skin and mulberry eyes staring at him.

Only seeing myself when I'm looking up at you

“I’m falling for you Lance, and it’s scaring me. I’m a monster. You deserve better than a monster.” Keith sobbed softly, refusing to come out of the wardrobe. The night cycle told him it was barely three in their pretend version of the morning. Lance never thought he’d see Keith cry but it was becoming such a regular thing. He’d wake up to the soft whimpers travelling through the walls, he’d walk in with his pillow and blanket and sit in front of the door of the closet until Keith was ready to talk.

At first, he was mad that the blue paladin had broken into his room and refused even make a noise until he left, then he opened up one night and slowly they talked more and more every night it happened, it became a routine that he was more than happy to have. Until Lance found he couldn’t sleep unless Keith was near, he couldn’t calm down unless Keith was stroking his hair, suddenly his world revolved around this boy and to his own surprise he wasn’t scared.

“Keith, you’re being an idiot,” Lance muttered, resting his forehead on the metal door. The cold made him shiver but he didn’t mind really. He knew Keith would calm down soon, and that boy was always so warm.

“You’re not a monster. You’ve never been a monster.” he kept his voice as quiet as possible, his heart racing harder than he ever thought possible. “I’m not the type of boy to fall for a monster Keith,”

He heard the gasp, the shuffling of blankets that he had set up in the bottom of the closet and slowly the door opened showing the face of the red paladin. Lance smiled softly at him and placed a hand on his cheek, he couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips as he studied his face. Keith had snot dripping down his face, his eyes were puffy and red, his hair was a mess from his nervous tendency to run his hands through it and pull. But Lance couldn’t help but think how gorgeous he looked. He looked so natural, so real. He wasn’t scary emo Keith, he was just a boy falling for the other.

“Do you really mean that? Because I will shank you if you’re fucking with me.” Keith said with a laugh as he placed his own hand over Lance’s. Lance laughed back and leaned forward, pressing his forehead to his.

“I’m falling in love with you Keith Kogane, and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

------------------

Swore I'd never lose control then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow

When Lance woke up he was ready to accept the aches his body would have from sleeping in the window, he was expecting to still be there, yet he was curled up in one of the bunks with bandages on his wrists. The lights in the room were dull causing a dark violet light to be cast around the room. He wasn’t sure when Kage had moved him but that really was the least of his concerns right now. He had to contact Voltron. No. He had to contact Keith. The dream had been so vivid it had to be a memory, which meant something had changed. He just wasn't sure what.

Slowly he climbed out of the bed keeping the blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he headed for the cockpit. The temperature in the ship hadn’t changed, the floor was still chilly beneath his feet as he walked yet he felt the need to shiver and pull the blanket around him tighter. Something felt off about the ship he just couldn’t figure it out. He could hear the hum of the engine and it appeared to be the same as when he arrived. It was just very silent. He wasn’t used to the silence.

“Kage?” He said, his voice echoing off the walls of the ship as he entered the cockpit. Kage was seated at the control panel rolling a small ball up and down the console. He looked up at Lance when he walked in and smiled as he stood up and walked over to him. He placed both hands on his cheek.

I know you're seeing black and white so I'll paint you a clear blue sky

“How’d you sleep, Babe?” He purred softly, leaning down to press his lips to Lances who quickly turned his head causing Kage to kiss his cheek.

“I’m not your babe,” Lance mumbled and tried to pull himself away while wrapping the blankets around him tighter. “I have Keith. Or at least I will when I call him and tell him to come to get me.” He said moving past him to try and get to the console. Kage put his hands out to stop him but decided against it and leaned against the wall.

“What if he doesn’t want you back? You left him, remember?” He said not trying to hide the venom in his tone, perfectly okay with being an asshole again. He knew they were out of range for the castle so who cares if Lance tried, no one was going to answer.

“Because you threatened their lives, like a dickhead.” Lance fired back as he picked up the microphone, “Calling the castle of Lions, does anyone read me. This is Lance McClain, the Blue paladin of  Voltron.”

“Lance they’re not going to answer” Kage frowned, which only grew into a full-blown scowl when the radio crackled and a voice cut in.

Without you I am colour-blind It's raining every time I open my eyes

“H-Hel-. Hel-..llo?” the voice said breaking up in mixes of silence and static causing Lance to laugh triumphantly, the screen shook as it tried to hold a picture. He shot Kage a look that screamed ‘Sucked in’ as the Galran frowned and balled his fists.

“Hello? This is Lance. Is that Keith?” Silence followed. “Hello? Keith! It’s me, Lance!”

“Lance, It’s Shiro, what’s wrong?” the voice asked causing Lance to frown for a second as his image finally appeared clearly on the screen.

“Shiro, send someone to get me. Please.”

“But you left Lance, why the change?” He said and Lance could see him frown as he spoke. His attitude made it seem like he’d rather be anywhere else than having this conversation.

“I only left to protect you, Kage threatened your lives.”

“That’s not what you said when you got into his ship and left willingly.” Shiro fired back almost instantly and crossed his arms, clearly bored.

“B-But I didn’t. He took me, the code word. Shiro, you were there! Please just put Keith on the comms.” Lance said, his voice raising an octave as he started panicking. What was he talking about? Did they really not want him back?

“Why would he care? You broke your promise, Lance, if anything Keith deserves better than you . You’re pathetic to think he’d want you back. You must an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think you were ever important to the team, Matt is going to fly Red from now on, He’s already better than you were. Goodbye Lance.”

“No, wait! Shiro, why are you doing this?!” Lance almost screamed as his eyes watered but the screen went dark and no matter what he did he couldn’t get the connection back.  It took a couple of minutes for the reality of the situation to hit him, he stayed silent as he stood up and wiped his eyes.

“Oh blue,” Kage mumbled softly as he stepped forward to try and comfort him, yet Lance simply brushed him off and walked out of the cockpit with his hands balled into fists. Shiro was wrong and he was going to prove it.

I'll colour me blue anything it takes to make you stay

Chapter Text

“Kage is... me?” The words sounded ridiculous. Outrageous. Impossible. Unbelievable. But a part of the words rang truth in Keith’s core. He could understand, somehow. “I’m Kage?”
“Not entirely. I believe...” Hunk’s eyes travelled over the screen once more, there was a spark in them, “wait.... ohhh I understand now!”
“Wanna share that info with the rest of us?” Pidge asked with a shrug. Hunk bounced over to the display again, energetic and excited.
“Okay okay, so, here! Here!” Hunk pointed to the display, a part of the waves that seemed indented. “This was the strange part, the waves shouldn’t be going backwards, right? They usually can’t. It’s impossible. I assumed it was a mistake, but!” Hunk took another few moments to re-read the display. “I was looking at it all wrong. This indent, it’s not an indent, it’s an overlap. These memories were overlapping here. And here. And here...”
“I get it!” Matt jumped forward from leaning against the shelf to better inspect the display. “The overlaps are the artificial memories taking place.”
“Every overlap is the switch in Lance’s mind turning Keith into Kage...” Pidge whispered, amazed.

The entirety of the conversation was utterly insane to Keith. Indented and overlapping waves, altering of memories, it all seemed so unnecessary.
“At what point did the Galran’s decide to not kill us and, instead, mess with our heads?”
“Kage said something about the witch. Haggar. This could be part of a much bigger plan, we really have no idea.” Pidge was talking to Keith but wasn’t looking at him. Glasses reflected the dancing display, neon lights flaring off them.
“Can we flip the switch?!” Keith asked, realising just how much he didn’t care about the notion of a plan being bigger. He cared about Lance and not much past that. He didn’t get an answer, not an immediate one. There was a lot of silence and vacant eyes. Hunk sat down, the chair’s wheels rolling back slightly. Eyes met the screen, or stared at nothing as minds whirled.
“We could try and flip the switch… if we had access to the Galran’s equipment?” Pidge whispered, her incredible mind doing it’s best to find a solution.
“Where would that type of equipment be?” Matt asked, Keith knew the answer. Keith was repulsed by the answer.
“Kage’s ship…”

Your picture is still on my wall.

There was an insignificantly small amount of hope in Keith’s heart. He wanted, more then anything, to believe the key to fixing Lance did indeed exist. More likely than not, the hope that Keith was feeling was nothing more than synthetic. Unrealistic more than anything. They decided it would be best to discussing the plan with Shiro regarding the ideas. To their dismay, he wasn’t as open minded as they had predicted.
“Memory modification? Don’t be so ridiculous. Next you’ll be telling me that the Galra can clone people?!”
Keith knew what it was like to see absence in people’s eyes. To recognise when someone wasn’t themselves, after everything that was happening Keith could have deemed himself an expert. Looking into Shiro’s eyes; he could see that same absence.

“We’re going after him, Shiro. We know you feel differently, but we aren’t following this order...” Keith didn’t want to threaten Shiro but a part of him knew that was how far he was willing to go. A rescue mission, at the cost of threatening the team leader.
Every reasonable part of Keith told him that Shiro wouldn’t care enough to fight back. But as Keith met Shiro’s eyes, he found something different in them. When Shiro’s irises sparked in a sudden purple, Keith’s heart stopped in disbelief. Shiro’s eyes were alight in that shade, that goddamn shade.

Lilac .

“What...?” Keith whispered, watching as Shiro’s entire expression become that of a stranger. Keith couldn’t recognise the man before him, not with eyes sparkling in that awful shade of lilac.
“You should have listened to me, Kogane.” Shiro hissed, metal hand beginning to emit purple light. Before Keith could even move, the metal was grasping around his throat. With lungs beginning to scream for air, Keith tried to pry Shiro’s hands from his throat as he thrashed in a desperate attempt to escape. He could feel his skin beginning to cave in under him, he knew it would bruise. The darkest colours would seep into his skin and stain it, if Shiro’s grip wasn’t tight enough to puncture the skin itself. Desperately, Keith clawed at the hand that was locked around his throat. His lungs felt as if they were on fire, drained of all oxygen, failing slowly. The world dipped in and out, distorting and discolouring. Just as the world slipped from him, Keith heard Shiro whisper,
“You should have listened to Kage…”

The colors are bright. Bright as ever.

Keith did not sleep easy. The plane of unconsciousness he found himself in was dark and ominous. He felt fluid, unstable, there was no solidness to his bones. The entire world around him was black, empty of anything. So silent that it hurt. He could see himself clear as day, with no clue where the light that illuminated him came from. Keith was sat amongst a seemingly endless stretch of nothingness. As time past he noticed that he, himself, was crumbling into dust. The skin on his fingers seemed to drift off of him in the same way that ash would detached from burning paper. His world was crumbling and he was disintegrating with it. Only his own ash, the parts falling from his own self, was that sick shade of lilac.

Keith awoke with a gut-wrenching gasp. He shot up, by some miracle, bursting out in coughs. The room was unrecognisable for a minute but slowly returned to him.
“Woah, woah, easy!” Matt hissed, a hand on Keith’s chest and the other catching his back. Unconsciously, Keith lent into them to hold himself there.
“W-what happened?” Keith looked around to see all the crew besides Shiro standing before him. The room was nearly entirely dark, only a small light from the crack above the door let anyone see.
“Shiro… lost it…” Lotor spoke, eyes cast to the ground.
“Pidge and I found him standing over you,” Hunk told him. Keith looked to Pidge, whose left eye was darkened by bruising. Keith trailed his fingers over his own neck, feeling the raw skin beneath his fingertips, “he- he knocked us out too. We woke up in here.”
“He brought Lotor and I in here conscious, threatened to kill you if we didn’t comply.” Allura spoke steady but Keith could hear her pain. “He’s not himself. I have fear it has something to do with Operation Shadow…”
Nothing more was said, there was so little too say. At the same time, somehow, there was an endless amount of things to say. The room fell into a silence that seemed irreversible. If someone was to talk, it felt as if the room would collapse into itself. An atmosphere of such high tension, Keith felt swamped. Yet, from that silence, came a voice.

“Calling the castle of Lions, does anyone read me...? This is Lance McClain, the Blue paladin of Voltron.”
Keith’s heart nearly stopped. He was certainly awake.
“Blue Paladin...?” He whispered the words so lightly it seemed he believed they’d be crushed by his tongue.
“He remembers...?” Pidge whispered, eyes alight with new found hope. Keith could see them simmering behind smashed lenses.
“Hello? Hello...?” Shiro, or what was possessing Shiro, was answering the transmission.
“Hello? This is Lance. Is that Keith?” The mere mention of his name made his chest clench. He wanted to badly to smash his fists in the walls and scream until Lance could hear him. “Hello? Keith! It’s me, Lance!”
“Lance, It’s Shiro, what’s wrong?”
“Shiro, send someone to get me. Please.” A brief pause.
“But you left Lance, why the change?”
Keith had grown up with Shiro; he knew every minute detail of the man’s voice. He knew when Shiro was genuinely happy or if he was faking it. He knew when Shiro was down and trying to hide it. He knew when Shiro was excited, usually it had been to see Adam. He’d heard Shiro’s laugh, he’d heard Shiro’s cries. Keith knew every aspect of Shiro’s voice, as brothers usually did. The voice of the man talking to the screen was not Shiro, in any universe.
“What’s Shiro doing...?” Hunk was the first to gasp,
“I was only leaving to protect you, Kage threatened your lives.”
“That’s not what you said when you got into his ship and left willingly.”
“B-But I didn’t. He took me, the code word. Shiro you were there! Please just put Keith on the comms.” Lance was clearly starting to panic.
“Why would he care? You broke your promise Lance, if anything Keith deserves better than you. You’re pathetic to think he’d want you back. You must an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think you were ever important to the team, Matt is going to fly Red from now on, He’s already better than you were. Goodbye Lance.”
“No wait! Shiro, why are you doing this?!” Lance almost screamed just as the transmission ended.

A moment of silence. Then, Keith yelled. It was the kind of yell that could tear vocal cords, his clenched fists slamming desperately at the locked door. He screamed all sorts of desperate sentences, nothing he could identify much of. Pure agony, utter horror. Keith punched the door until the skin on his knuckles split, until the metal was slick with blood, until he felt as if he were too pass out. When he reached those points, he kept punching. There was a drive in him that screamed for him to never stop. He wanted his knuckles to break under the force, he wanted to feel the pain he felt like he deserved. Snap his wrist even. In the distance, Red’s roar echoed the corridors of the castle.
“Keith! Keith stop this!”
Matt screamed, running over to him and catching him from the side before he could throw another punch. With one arm around Keith’s chest, and the other around his shoulders, the man crumbled in Matt’s arms, falling to his knees. Matt held him as he sobbed into his collar, lungs desperately gasping for air. Nails imbedded so far into Matt’s arms that it drew little beads of blood. His body was shaking with such a violent jolting that Matt held on tighter, scared he was making it worse. But as the sobs drew out longer, and Keith’s breaths sounded less like hyperventilating, Matt knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Keith’s blood stained his sleeves but it barely passed Matt’s mind.
“I-- I need…” Keith’s voice was croaky and raw, muffled by Matt’s jacket, “I need to find Lance, I need. I need to get out. Please. How do I… how can I make up for all this…”
Then, in the most desperate croaking voice, Keith whispered.
“How could I ever go on without him…?”

Matt felt his heart shatter in that moment. The broken fragments forming energy, he felt an overwhelming swell of anger.
“You won’t have to.” Matt hissed, “I’m getting you out if it’s the last thing I do.”
Keith wearily lifted his head,
“W-what?”
Matt stood and approached the door, pummeling it with the side of his fist,
“ Hey! ” He yelled with such ferocity that even the team jumped slightly. “Shiro!! Let me out, I’m on your side. I owe you, remember, from the tournaments all those years ago.”
“What are you doing?!” Lotor hissed,
“I am trying to bait him. Once the door opens, Keith, you run. All of you, are you ready?”
Eyes in the darkness glimmered in defiance. It wouldn’t be enough bait, Keith knew that.
“Hit me…” Keith whispered and before anyone could reject the notion, Keith spoke up, “you know it’s the only way…”
“I can’t.” Matt whispered. Keith looked around,
“Someone has to… it’s the only way.”

Keith knew just how much strength it took for Matt to throw that first punch. Keith held his fists up, cuts of all sizes visible across his knuckles. Split, raw, open skin. The blood there had dried and was being held down by sweat. A compound of pain. Keith could see apology for whatever was about to happen in Matt’s eyes. He could see the trust he had in Keith, Keith let his gaze mirror it. Even when the first punch hit. Even when the second punch hit. The third. The forth. There was no real strength behind Matt’s fist, only enough to make it sound like a real fight. Keith felt the swelling of bruises and stabs of pain. He kept going with a clenched jaw and a tight chest. When the door slid open Keith breathed a sigh of relief. Before Shiro could even recognise the bait he’d fallen for; Keith was gone.

Rock bottom. Keith was at rock bottom. His feet were pushed by the idea that his world had ended and if he didn’t make it to Red then any chance of fixing it was obliterated. His lungs were starved, his hands stung but his speed refused to slow. There were cries and yells from behind him. Matt telling him not to stop, Pidge telling him to run, Hunk telling him to bring Lance back, Allura telling him to not give up. He felt himself slip from his body, he felt as if his mind were elsewhere. An out of body experience reinforced by the sound of his thumping heart and gasping breaths. He couldn’t feel the raw skin of his knuckles nor the acid in his muscles. The bruise growing beneath his eye became mere background pain, he barely acknowledged the trickle of blood making its way down his forehead. Boarding the ship was mere instinct and every button he pushed or lever he flicked was natural. He felt unconscious while conscious. Reality briefly flashed before his eyes as he boarded Red. The lion took off nearly instantly, but Keith had just enough time to see the fight between Shiro and the crew. There were shots being fired and projectiles being launched. Keith had to turn his head, there was too much to worry about.

Thankfully, Keith’s assumption about Red had been correct. The moment they had left the Castle, Red knew where to go. Keith was debating taking the Black lion, but Lance didn’t have as much of a connection with it as he did with Red. Numbness flooded him. The strength from the souls of his feet were stolen from him and he felt untethered from everything. The darkness of space seemed to swallow him, he felt as if he were in his dream. He kept close watch on his hands, scared the skin encasing his bones was going to split and drift away as lilac dust. Over and over Keith told himself Red knows, Red knows, Red knows. Keith felt like he knew nothing and his entire trust was being placed in the Red lion. At times, everything ceased from his mind. He was not looking, thinking, seeing, hearing. His eyes were vacant, filled by the absence he’d seen in Shiro’s. Even the thought of Shiro made Keith shudder; the sounds of the fight echoed his ears.

When Kage’s ship appeared in his sights Keith didn’t feel any more in touch with reality. The numbness felt like an infection. The Lion seemed to know exactly what to do, autopilot at the most convenient level. It landed itself in the ship’s open hanger. There were no lights on, no movement, no fire from the ship. He’s left, Keith thought as tears bloomed in his eyes, Kage’s taken him away. As Keith dragged himself to the exit of the Lion, he felt a little stutter in his heart. Nothing much more than that before questions rushed in once more. What were the chances Lance and Kage were on the seemingly abandoned ship? And is so, would Kage even let Lance leave? Keith hovered the top of his boot over the floor of the hanger, almost scared to take a step onto the sleek, flawless metal. It was so dark, the only light was from the starlight shining through the windows. With a quick breath he put his weight onto the foot and then the other. Who knew simple step onto some metal could make someone feel so sickly? It was a disgusting feeling, a conglomeration of all the emotion Keith had learnt to bottle up over time. The bottle had been smashed.

“Lance?” Keith whispered, voice no more than a whimper amongst the hanger’s darkness. Nothing. Keith felt a tear bloom. “Lance, are you here?”
Suddenly, the lights flickered on. A buzz of electricity, lighting up the hanger, From the doorway into the ship, a figure stood with his face immersed in darkness. A face covered by shadow. There was no movement for a few moments, until he stepped into the light.

Red is strong. Blue is true.

The moment Keith saw Lance, his heart was shaken to its core. The look in the Cuban boy’s eyes was the Lance that Keith remembered. The Lance that badgered Keith ruthlessly until he reluctantly agreed to a date. The Lance that loved to hold his hand in so many different ways that Keith could never predict it. The Lance that would show Keith the constellations and tell him all the stories behind them. The Lance that’s smile was brighter than the stars that made up those constellations. The Lance that would video him on the daily just to let him know he was thinking of him once he was with the Blades.

That was Lance. That was quiznakking Lance.

There was standstill. The both of them, frozen in time and space.
“Lance...?” Keith was almost too scared to ask. The name drifted from his tongue, laced with anxiousness.
“Keith...” a smile broke out, a smile accompanied with brimming tears.
“It’s really you...” Keith couldn’t believe his own words, his feet took off without permission. The words left his mouth before he was able to think about them. He was flooded with such relief that he took off running. By the time Keith reached him, he half crashed into Lance. Keith held onto him tighter then he’d ever held anyone before. Keith could feel the moment Lance realised, he moved to return the gesture. The Galran felt Lance’s nails dig into the back of his neck as he held Keith’s head, Keith imagined he was probably doing the same to Lance. He sniffed, letting out what brief sobs, pressing his head into Lance’s neck. Lance buried his face in Keith’s hair, never having held someone so close.
"Keith, god, I-- I’m so sorry." Lance’s voice cracked and he stopped talking. He felt his thin chest heave, he was crying.
"It’s okay." Keith held the back of his head, fingers tangled in his short hair. His grip on Keith tightened, somehow.

They stood in a moment of pure relief, holding each other as if they were the only good things left in the universe. Which didn't feel wrong. Keith felt himself lose it. Years of hatred and pain he’d neglected seemed to hit him at once. It hit him so hard he couldn't breath. All the sharp nails of everyone who'd ever hurt him seemed to reach through his throat and tear the breaths from his lungs. It was as if suddenly every scar staining his light skin was alive and burning. Lance’s presence was enough to settle the fire. Make the wounds seem irrelevant, calm the burning in Keith’s veins. He moved his head back only to press his forehead into Lance’s. Their noses lightly brushed. Lance’s hands grabbed Keith’s neck, he felt Lance’s tears fall and tumble down Keith’s armour. His nails were imbedded into Lance’s neck, grasping desperately as if Lance could slip away from him at any second. Lance mumbled something that Keith couldn’t hear through his face being pressed in so close to Keith’s ear. It was only when he mumbled it a second time that Keith heard it properly. "I love you."

Some things last a long time. Some things last a long time.

They were said in sureness yet simmering with doubt. Doubt, not from the word's honesty but the timing of their vocalisation. After all the unsureness, after Lance’s back and forth, Keith couldn’t help but fear just a little that Lance’s memory would fail them once more. Yet, he mumbled them a third time, grasping Keith’s neck again. "I love you." He, somehow, held Keith closer. Keith could tell, that grasp was the touch of someone who knew exactly what was happening. There was no longer any doubt that Lance was himself. Keith felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his connection the universe was retired. So he took a quick breath, and said the words that had always terrified him. “I love you too, Lance."
From the pit of his stomach, where fear so often churned itself into chaos, was an entirely new feeling. It did feel infectious, somewhat invasive. But it wasn’t a bad feeling, more so a new one. It did prompt him, to say a sentence that was singing out to him. So he mumbled them, so quietly he wasn’t too sure if Lance had even heard them.

“Losing you felt like all the stars were stolen from the sky...”

Chapter Text

(For Mitosis who helped when I really needed it.)

An empty heart with an empty mind. Half filled soul and a hopeless expression. Lance tried to keep up appearances of being okay, of being able to feel something other than the complete dread that filled his gut and stuck in his throat. However it didn’t matter how much he tried to pretend that he was okay within the handful of dobashes since the phone call, Kage knew him. He knew this was the final shattering point.

We've been waiting, anticipating change coming our way

Lance had been so ready to prove his point to Shiro that in his hasty exit of the cockpit he’d forgotten where he was. He had nothing with him besides the crappy clothes he arrived in, nor did this ship contain any drivable pods. It did have escape pods but those had been ejected into space by Kage in an attempt to stop Lance from trying to escape, not that it would have done him anything if he had used one. Instead, the boy just sat in the middle of the floor, waiting in utter silence for something to happen. His eyes stuck on the airlock as if he could open it with his mind if he just wished enough if he just imagined his body floating in the emptiness of space as his eyes fluttered shut. What a painless end to the heartbreak that was his life.

“Keith deserves better than you.”

What an annoying statement. Keith deserved to be happy, to find a home in someone, to feel wanted and loved. It was your own basic right as a living breathing person to decide what is good for you, not someone else. Lance couldn’t help but laugh as his thoughts started arguing with themselves over his own messed up statements. The noise echoed throughout the empty ship and almost gave him a horror like feeling. His laughter was blank and empty, holding no real emotion as it died off. The silence was quickly welcomed back as Lance continued not to move. Shiro didn’t really know anything about Keith if he believed that Keith wanted better. Lance knew Keith. He was there for every panic attack, every episode, every training session. Lance knew how Keith’s body worked better than he did his own, he knew every sensitive point that made Keith melt, every ticklish spot. He knew every scar and mark that covered the paler boy and which ones still hurt even after time in a pod. Sure, it took him a while to remember everything trapped in his mind, but the longer he sits here just thinking and staring the more comes back to him. His mind was like a collection of padlocks and he was finally given a box of keys with no labels, it was taking time but he was unlocking them one by one.

You're my baby through the bad lights to the greater days

“Lance you need to eat,” A voice spoke shattering the peaceful silence that Lance had grown used too. He didn’t voice his disappointment in the situation, he just turned to look at the Galran with a frown in silent protest. Kage simply groaned as he walked over, sitting down next to Lance while shoving a spoonful of space goo into his mouth.

“I know what’s wrong with Shiro. Well, most of it, I don't think the witch told me everything but I might be able to help?” His voice was soft like he was trying his hardest not to scare Lance or say something wrong but the entire sentence was just so funny to the boy. Of course, he’d know what was going on, the universe just loved to be ironically annoying.

“Well, isn’t that fucking convenient.” He snapped looking to Kage who flinched and looked down at his hands.

“Lance, they’re going to kill me once they find out that you remember, I have no one’s skin to save but my own. Why would I lie?”

“Because you're a liar, a big fat liar mcliar pants who probably just speaks in lies and wears pants made of fire.” Lance huffed before looking back at the door. Silence followed his statement as Kage looked at him with confusion.

“Why would I wear pants made of fire?” he asked, his ears drooping in confusion as his previous statement was pushed aside.

“Because liars get their pants set on- oh never mind. The point is that you’re a liar and I don’t trust you.”

Silence fell over them again with the occasional noise from Kage which really wasn’t anything too important, he just opened and closed his mouth like a fish struggling to breathe before sighing. Lance just kept his eyes on the airlock, still trying to bend metal with his mind in an attempt to get it to open now with the added bonus of also flushing Kage out into space too. It still didn’t work.

The silence was once again interrupted by the ships alarms system accompanied with blood red lights that flashed uncomfortably behind Lance’s closed eyes. Kage stood up with a startled noise before turning to look at Lance, his eyes were wide and he looked terrified.

“No one should have been able to find us, something’s up.” He mumbled in a hushed panicked tone before running off towards the cockpit, “I’m going to turn the ship’s power off, hide please Blue.”

Lance stood up quickly, his hands moving to his thigh waiting for his Bayard to appear. The solid weight he was used to didn’t appear causing his heart to race, he was defenceless. At that moment time appeared to slow down, Lance moved around running for the door of the hanger his pathetic excuse for shoes causing him to slip on the ground as he skids into the wall. He remembered noticing a sniper rifle near the doorway, it wouldn’t be the same as his Bayard but right now it was better than nothing.

I know that something good is waiting just around the corner

Once the cool metal of the gun was in his hands, his body moved in rhythmic movements into a position that felt almost natural. His breathing slowed as he looked through the scope, his scope set onto the ship docking in the hanger as the doors shut behind it. Lance almost squeezed the trigger in fear when the red lion looked to him with its emotionless yellow eyes. His breath stuck in his throat painfully, he felt sick as if his stomach was doing flips in his stomach and just everything he’d ever eaten in his life had come back for vengeance. He heard the mouth of the lion open with a small hiss of air before someone moved down the walkway. It was Keith. It was quiznacking Keith.

“Lance?” Keith whispered, voice no more than a whimper amongst the hanger’s darkness. Lance froze, his entire body seizing as his voice echoed around his head, “Lance, are you here?”. He dropped the rifle in a state of panic before standing up, trying to get up the nerve to go out there and talk to him after all the pain and heartbreak he’d caused.

“Keith deserves better than you.”

Shiro’s words echoed in his head again, yet for the first time, they caused panic in the boy. True, untamed panic. Because what if he was right?

Kage must have turned the ship back on when he saw the lion as the lights flickered on. Lance watched Keith stumbled over his own feet for a moment as he shielded his eyes for a moment, using this moment to step out into the doorway and just stare at the former red paladin. He watched the panic on Keith's face drain away as he stepped further into the light. Keith smiling was more beautiful than any memory. His eyes were bright in the artificial light of the ship, tears pooling in his eyes as he stopped and stared. Lance suddenly felt ridiculously self-conscious, he felt weak and tired and gross yet Keith still looked amazing if not more so. He’d grown into his hair even managing to learn how to control it, his suit filled out nicer than before where it used to hang awkwardly on his arms. There was his Keith. His Keith who would tuck him into bed every night when he thought Lance was asleep making sure to always kiss his forehead. His Keith who would make sure that there was always breakfast left over when Lance slept in. His Keith who snorted when he laughed which just made him laugh harder after milk flew out of Lance’s nose. Keith, whose smile lit up a room and reminded Lance that he was loved and needed.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been standing there, frozen in time just staring at each other but it had been too long. When Keith spoke, he couldn’t help the tears that overflowed from his eyes.

There's a new day dawning, there's a new life for us

“Lance...?” Keith was anxious, Lance could tell. His voice was just that tiny bit higher than it normally was and he held back so much emotion as he felt his heartache. He’d hurt him so much these past god knows how many pheobs. Yet Lance smiled because he remembered just how much he loved the boy in front of him.

“Keith...”

“It’s really you...”

Time slowed again as Lance moved forward, his feet carrying him across the cold metal that appeared to stretch hundreds of metres between them. Lance knew he was crying the second their bodies collided together. He hadn’t been expecting the sudden force of the impact as Keith’s arms flung around his waist protectively holding him to his chest. The force of their collision knocked the wind from Lance’s lungs as Keith made fists with his hands in the fabric of his shirt as if he was scared to let go like Lance would disappear again if he wasn’t careful. The thought broke Lance’s heart. Hot tears rolled down his face as he sobbed loudly into his boyfriend's neck, his arms gripping tightly onto his neck before he spoke.

"Keith, god, I-- 'm so sorry."

Keith’s hand travelled up his back before tangling in his hair. He tugged slightly as if to test that it wasn’t fake and this wasn’t a trick of the mind before speaking.

"It’s okay."

The only noise to fill the empty hanger was Lance’s dying sobs as they stood there embraced in pure relief, holding onto each other as if they were the only good things left in the universe. Lance felt like he was truly safe for the first time in months simply standing there wrapped in the arms of someone he loved.

"I love you." The words slipped out of his mouth in barely a whisper, he hadn’t meant to say them so quietly he just didn’t want to ruin the mood. Keith was struggling with his own mind right now, Lance could tell from the way his fingers twitched in his hair and he stumbled around on his feet like he was balancing on a tightrope. They were both out of sorts as they stood in silence, Keith making no attempt to pay attention to his voice as calmed his breathing.

Got to keep on holding on for just a little longer I know

“I love you.” He said again, this time louder and a little more forceful. It didn’t shake the doubt from his tone. The uncertainty that this was all over, that they were free from their problems with written permission to move on with their lives. Lance held Keith tighter, their bodies pressed together in an uncomfortable tangle of limbs and clothes. Lance’s scar on his chest ached with from the contact but he didn’t pull away, he refused to move.

“I love you.”

There was no longer any doubt as Keith’s shoulders relaxed and his grip loosened. Keith pulled away to look at lance, their foreheads touching in an attempt to see into the others mind as Lance’s declaration settled in the air and covered them like a protective blanket. Keith took a short breath as he stared into Lance’s eyes, refusing to break contact. His mouth moved before his voice did as he stumbled and stuttered over his words.

“I love you too, Lance.” He muttered them so quietly Lance was sure if he hadn’t been waiting for Keith to speak he would have missed them. There was a pause before Keith continued, his hands holding tightly onto Lance’s sides

“Losing you felt like all the stars were stolen from the sky...”

Lance felt his nose tickle and his eyes water as a soft smile appeared across Keith’s lips. Lance just stared back with the straightest face he could muster before he filled the silence.

“Marry me.”

“What?” Keith laughed awkwardly, unsure that he’d heard correctly.

“Marry. Me. Keith.” Lance repeated his tone firm.

“What now? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding Kogane.”

“We don’t have a priest Lance, or rings, or anything.”

He just laughed and shook his head, moving his hands to rest on Keith’s cheeks.

“You’re missing the point here, I want you to marry me. Simple as that.”

But that it's gonna be blue skies for you and I

Neither of them spoke and it got to the point where Lance was sure he was holding his breath from the fear building up in his chest. Keith this entire time has just been staring at him, mouth slightly ajar as his eyes glossed over. Lance waved his hand in front of his boyfriend’s eyes only for the boy to reach over and pinch Lance’s cheek.

“Ouch! Keith what the quiznak!” Lance whined loudly rubbing his cheek as Keith seemed to come back to reality.

“I wanted to check that I wasn’t dreaming.”

“By pinching me?”

“Yeah?”

“Keith, babe, the light of my life, my stars and moon, you pinch yourself when you think you’re dreaming!”

“Why on earth would I want to do that?”

Lance laughed, his brain wouldn’t let him do anything else. He just laughed and held onto Keith with his forehead resting on the other boy’s shoulder. It took him a while to calm down but when he did he couldn’t help but smile at the entire situation.

“So are you going to answer my question?”

“Oh! Oh right! Yes of course.” Keith stuttered, his cheeks going bright red as lance chuckled again. “Yes Lance, I’ll marry you.”

“Good.” He hummed quickly before leaning forward and connecting their lips properly for the first time. Lance remembered thinking that Keith’s lips would taste as fiery as he was, that kissing him would be like watching fireworks; loud and exciting with each spark. But it wasn’t. It was soft and gentle like each kiss was their first. Lance loved it, he loved this side of Keith. He loved this boy with every part of his heart and now he was forever his.

Keith’s hands moved to Lance’s hips almost instantly while Lance tangled his fingers in Keith’s hair which had definitely grown since they last shared a kiss this passionate.

We'll step out of the shadows and walk into the light

Everything in that moment was completely and utterly perfect. Until an awkward cough broke them out of their trance.

“So sorry to interrupt-“ Kage started, gesturing to both of them with a wave of his hand and a disgusted look on his face, “whatever you're doing. But we have a bigger problem, the castle of Lion’s is trying to contact us.”

Lance groaned loudly, gesturing wildly as he wanted to punch Kage and then the ship and just everything.

“Way to ruin the mood you off-brand purple mullet ken doll,” Keith mumbled under his breath which caused Lance to snort before kissing him again quickly.

“So you admit it’s a mullet?” Lance purred, his voice was low and teasing and if it wasn’t for the fact that something was majorly wrong with Shiro he was sure Keith would have dragged him off to a spare room in a heartbeat.

“Yeah okay, whatever you say fiance ” Keith muttered in reply, a slight smirk across as Lance stopped with red cheeks and his hand over his heart. “Ugh, don’t be all sappy on me, dork.”

“Any Quintant now!” Kage called as he walked off towards the cockpit. The two boys groaned but followed after with linked hands.

In the cockpit, Kage stood around the display screen where a video feed was running. The screen showed the bridge of the castle of lions, the room Keith had been trapped in and Shiro standing at the console with an unnatural smirk and glowing lilac eyes.

“Oh Keith, how good to see you alive.” He said in such a sing-song voice it was even weird for Lance to listen to in contrast to the what they were seeing. Yet, he knew that look in Shiro’s eyes. It was the same look he had when he told him off for defending Allura. Both boys squeezed each other’s hands at the same time but remained looking at the screen.

“Kuron, you shouldn’t have been activated yet. What happened?” Kage asked with arms cross, an unimpressed expression across his face. Shiro’s image faltered for a moment as the transmission cut out but when he returned he looked mad.

But my heart beats slow as the storm carries on up high and the clouds roll by

“You failed Kage, The blue paladin regained his memories without the use of the serum. How does one quiznak up an entire operation this badly?” His voice was different this time as if he was a speaker and someone was speaking through him. Lance heard Keith growl next to him, a deep low rumbling noise that gave lance goosebumps up his arms.

“Haggar.”

“Oh yes, Red Paladin, How correct you are!” The voice through Shiro giggled with manic delight, “Did you enjoy my little game with your ‘boyfriend’?”

Keith bared his teeth this time, moving closer to the screen.

“You didn’t get away with Lance and you certainly won't get away with Shiro!” He spat, anger rising in his chest as he spoke. Lance winced as he squeezed his hand tightly, pain shooting up his arm.

“Babe, Keith, Please, you’re hurting me.”

This was enough for Keith to take a step back and calm down, instantly apologising to his fiance. Lance smiled softly and moved to his other side, holding his other hand without a moment's hesitation. He could hear a gagging noise from behind Shiro, the screen focusing on Pidge who was pretending to throw up from their room. Keith mumbled a quick apology in Lance’s ear before they went back to watching the screen.

Kage simply rolled his eyes at the entire ordeal, a fraction of a frown appearing on his face as he looked back at the screen.

“What was the point in contacting us, Haggar? Keith wasn’t going to leave here alive, let alone with the blue paladin.” Kage stated, to which both boys looked at him as if he was dumb.

“You’re to return to the base with both paladins, Shiro here is going to bring us Voltron and you have the missing piece.”

“Understood.”

There was silence for a few ticks after the video call ended before Kage turned around to look at the two, Keith already with his Bayard in hand in case he wasn’t kidding. Kage simply raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are we going to save your friends or not?”

Yeah it's gonna be blue skies for you and I

Chapter Text

Roses I send you roses with all the love their tender blossoming discloses.

Did Keith want to hear Kage talk? Not particularly. Did he want to hear Kage’s life story? Definitely not. He would’ve much preferred if silence would flood the ship, if maybe just for once he had the chance to sit calmly. To think free of stress was an unheard-of idea. But no, the universe willed it to be that Kage was explaining himself to them. As if either Keith or Lance’s wounds would be magically healed by the beauty of context. Kage monitored the steering of the Red Lion even though it didn’t need to be. They’d put in a course and set it to autopilot but there Kage stood, at the helm of the Lion, making sure it knew where to go. In a brief moment of pity, Keith realised it gave him a distraction. Kage could talk his heart out but he couldn’t bring himself to look at either Keith or Lance in the eyes. Instead, they stared out into the vastness of the void. So, Keith and Lance had sat towards the back in a dark corner with intertwined fingers. Although Keith didn’t want to hear the story, he did listen.

“I was the son of two traitors. They were killed when I was young. Executed. I was told that I was good for nothing, simply another mouth to feed. So, I worked to become a good soldier. A fighter. A true ally of the Empire. But I always had to work twice as hard as everyone else. I was beneficial to the Empire in their ranks before I was much older, but my parents left a tarnish on my reputation. A stain that could not be removed, no matter how much I tried. So, I did my best to separate myself from them. I did my utmost to adapt a new persona. I embraced my ability to adapt to identities that were not my own. It just so happened that in doing so, I became a good actor.”

The more he spoke, the more Keith begun to listen. And seriously listen, in the hope that just maybe there would be a good answer to Keith’s endless amount of questions. Keith briefly looked at Lance, as the Lion begun to pass by a nebula. His skin reflected the nebula’s shades of blue, his eyes sparkling with the cosmic flare. Lance was listening. Because Lance, more than anyone, wanted to know one crucial thing. Lance wanted to know the why.

“So, I started doing work that was a lot more... specific... I wasn’t training to be a soldier anymore, I was training to be something else entirely. Someone else entirely. I was barely an adult when I began to forget who I was. And slowly, the Empire was beginning to forget too. The mark was fading. The Empire had me making trades, going undercover, gathering intel. Eventually I was anywhere but with the Galra. I was a traitor, I was a slave, I was a war criminal, I was whatever or whoever they told me to be. I played my roles to perfection and nothing less”

Kage’s voice still sounded like a whisper in a breeze. It was graceful like a leaf in the wind. But it was also angry, and Keith was easily able to find that spark in Kage’s tone. Keith was a close friend of anger. It was difficult to hide anger from Keith. The Galran’s word could never be trusted. Keith knew better than anything that Kage’s lips were only taught how to lie. Every word could be fake, every sentence false. There was no real telling.

“One day, the Witch came to me with a proposition. She told me that the plan was one of the biggest moves the Empire would ever make. That it could turn the tides of the war. She offered me the role of you, Keith. She didn’t tell me who you were, just that my role would involve a closeness with a boy named Lance. Being undercover for so long, I didn’t know much about Voltron’s paladins. So, I accepted the role. If I had known, then what I know now...”

Lance’s hand gripped Keith’s so tight so suddenly that Keith nearly jumped. Keith could feel his fingers tightening their grip. Lance’s shoulders were pulled back, his chest still as he held his breath. Keith muttered a quiet ‘it’s okay’ before Lance allowed himself to breathe again. Keith mustered up the nerve to ask.
“And what is it, that you know now?”
There was moment where Kage tried to talk. His mouth opened, and his eyes searched frantically for the words. Nothing escaped his lips except for an exasperated sigh. Knuckles paling as he gripped the ship and recomposed himself.

“Nearly everything I’ve said up until now has been a lie. The sob stories, the memories, all of it was smoke. Apparently, I see clearer through smoke. I did not know that Lance would be what I want to fight for. I did not know that Lance would remind me of who I was. If I had known then, despite the Witch’s interest, that I would end up genuinely caring for Lance. Then I would have said no... even if it meant I never remembered who I really am...”
“I-I had no idea... if you can be so many people, Kage, why don’t you take the chance to be who you want?! Ignore the witch, ignore the Empire, be whoever you want to be.” Keith was the first to speak. There was another silent response. Kage was searching for the right answer. He seemed to think that answer was buried amongst a nebula, judging by the intensity in which he stared at it.
“Because, I still can’t remember exactly who I want to be...” he trailed off as his thoughts took over his lips, “...we’re here.”

Just like my arms they'll open wide you'll see my heart inside.

Here was a rather blanket statement. There were no true details to where Here was or why they were Here. It was only once Lance and Keith laid eyes on it themselves did they realise at the term Here was acceptable. Because there was no real way to explain the complexity of the planet they were on. It was made of a purple rock, lined with opaque white cryo-pods. All Keith and Lance had been told was that there was a way to ignite the core of the planet and bring it down. All they knew was that Kage could trigger the timer and they would leave before it detonated. Kage had quickly placed the two of them in handcuffs and escorted them out of the Lion. To seem genuine, that was.
“You can’t seriously think this will work? What if they figure out it's a trick?” Lance asked,
“They won’t.” Kage muttered,
“You could die if this goes wrong?” Keith spoke more as a realisation then a proposition.
“If I do, then so be it. Maybe that’s my true role in all this.” Kage shrugged, his previous straight shoulders were slumped forwards. He was scared enough to cower. The three, all feeling the fear, walked out of the mouth of the Red lion. They’d locked in the coordinates the second Shiro, or as Lance liked to call him, Shitro had sent them. The plan was simple; pretend to surrender to save Voltron.

On the ship Keith had asked Kage just exactly where it was they were going. The answer he got had been a mere, ‘I can’t say, I need your reactions to be real’. Just what exactly that could involve was worrying Keith. Lance was itching to protest further about how the plan was idiotic and that no one had to die. Before he could voice any of his opinions, there was a screech. An ear piercing, jaw clenching, physically repulsive screech. From the shadows of a rocky overhang, sentries showed themselves.
“Hand over the weapons. We’ll take them from here.”
“I was sure they left everything back on my ship, not even the Lion, there’s nothing on them.” Kage almost yelled at them, his whispery voice echoing across the great expanse. With piecing yellow eyes staring through his deep purple fringe he made an observation, “the Witch isn’t here… where is Kuron?”
“We’ll take them from here.”
“With all due respect, you mound of metal, I’d like to personally congratulate Kuron on his mission.”
The sentries exchanged a look, brushing off the insult, and turned to face the shadows.

Two piercing eyes of lilac hovered amongst the darkness. They blinked slowly, then Shiro stepped from the shadows. The look in his eyes sent a shiver through Keith, he felt his blood turn to acid. Whoever it was, the man standing before them, was not Shiro. He was not the brother Keith had loved, he was someone else entirely.
“Ah, Haggar, nice of you to not grace us with your presence as usual.” Kage stepped passed the sentries towards Kuron.
“Of course not boy, I did not want to be disgraced by your presence.”
“Well at least have the courtesy to tell me where the other Paladins are, and the Lions?” Kage had to muster his frustration.
“Kuron here did your job of securing the Paladins. They are on the Castle of Lions, they will be moved to a more secure location once a cruiser reaches us. You badly messed our plans around; our reinforcements were not prepared for you incompetence. The Empire isn’t happy, Kage, the Blue Paladin’s involvement in this plan was crucial…”
“Oh, when is Empire is ever happy?!” Kage hissed through his fangs as he reached Kuron. Their heights differed enough for Kage to have to crane his neck to look into his lilac eyes,
“Your only hope of returning to the Empire and not being executed is if you bring Voltron to us…”
Kage then paused. Keith and Lance could see something different in the way he held himself. His shoulders tensed back, and his hands tightened into fists. He took a breath and allowed himself to let go,
“...I know…” His tone; vulnerable, “Now!!!”

Please dear embrace the roses until I come to you and when the long day closes.

Both bayards were unsheathed the second Kage screamed. The Galran had already lashed out at Shiro, catching his cheek with sharp nails.|
“Don’t hurt him!” Lance yelled as a sentry opened fire at him. He threw himself forward, tucking into a barrel roll and skidding to a halt behind a rock. Keith had found similar cover not too far away. He crouched, holding his head down as bits of rock were detached by rounds. Easy, Keith thought, two bots and then we help Shiro.
“It’s not him!” Kage yelled back, just as Kuron caught the back of Kage’s head. He hissed as he hit the ground but was quick in spinning back to face Kuron. Before he could register the move, Kage had ducked under Kuron’s legs, grabbing his right ankle, and flipping him on his back. He hit the ground with a thud, dazed. Lance shot down both of the sentries as Keith yelled,
“What does that even mean!?”
Keith wished he hadn’t asked. Keith wished that he had been spared from the answer. The opaque cryopods faded. Their glass panels became transparent and behind them hid horrors that could not be imagined. Clones. Each and every cryopod had a clone of Shiro. Every clone looked at peace, dwelling in their own solitude. All of the pods glowed with a sickly lilac.
“What in the hell…?” Lance let the words hang in the air.
“What is this?!” Keith yelled at Kage who turned around,
“This is Operation Shadow. They cloned Shiro after the Kerberos mission. Took his DNA, sent him home, and eventually… this.” Kage threw his hand up into the air, as if presenting the clones. His eyes apologised a million times over. “We take the planet down, all the wiring will come loose, you’ll have your leader back.”
Just as the words left Kage’s mouth, the doors of the cryopods slid down. There was no movement, only stillness. Keith could hear his heart thudding through his chest. Then, simultaneously, their eyes opened. All in a single flash of lilac.
“You will die here Kage, as a failure to the Empire.” One of them spoke,
“We’ll take the Paladins with you.”
Another raised its voice,
“This is the day the Empire cleans itself of you.”
Kage narrowed his eyes and, as calmly as ever, he said,
“Let’s end this.”
Shots were being fired as soon as he’d spoken. Lance and Keith ducked back down behind the rock but Kage charged forward.

“These aren’t Shiro, Keith.” Lance’s hand was on his knee. Keith looked at Lance’s hand, then up to his eyes. He nodded, knowing it but struggling to comprehend it. Keith stood and jumped over the rock, plummeting his sword through the chest of one clone. Two to his right fell as Lance shot at them from over the rock. Kage took them on with not much more than a dagger and his fists. He was quick, quicker than Keith had expected of him. Each move was swift and almost flawless. Two sentries got the better of Keith and had managed to corner him. He looked up at the enemy who bore the face of a friend, his mind whirling. He couldn’t hurt Shiro, he couldn’t hurt Shiro. He knew, in his heart, that it wasn’t Shiro. But he felt guilty at the idea of hurting them and struggled to hold his blade up to the clones. To his left he heard a gasp. A clone froze, slowly moving a hand to his chest. There, the tip of a blade was visible. The blade was ripped back, and the clone fell. Before the other could open fire, the blade had been thrown at it. It impacted square in the chest and the clone fell to the ground. Kage ran to the body and tore the blade free,
“They’re not him, Keith.”

Keith took a deep breath. Right, he thought, they’re not him. He got back into the action. Kage and Lance had taken a good deal of the clones out by the time Keith snapped back into it. Surprisingly, the three of them made for a half decent team. Keith was weary of Kage, at no point did he think he never would be. Kage was the enemy, at least he had been. He took all the anger the past few weeks had caused him and gave himself the energy to fight. The world begun to blur. Over and over and over, his sword was bringing them down one by one. Until, suddenly, he saw something that pulled him into the reality of it.
"Ah, quiznack!! " Keith exclaimed,
“What is it??” Lance yelled, fear pulsating through his heart,
“Kage’s been hit!” Keith screamed back, running back out into the open,
“What?!” Lance peered over the top of the rock. Kage was propped up against one of the cryopods. Crimson overshadowed lilac.
“How bad is it?!” Keith asked as he skidded to Kage’s side. The Galran was looking paler than usual, his hand gripping his stomach. The blood and his arm hid most of the wound, Keith couldn’t analyse it. Lance was by their sides in a second,
“It’s… pitiful.” Kage was stammering in a desperate, human way. He held his hands out before him to look at the blood, "maybe this is my role in all this…"
"Kage, you son of bitch..." Keith hissed at him, he laughed a broken laugh.
“We’re getting you out of here…” Lance promised, watching blood escaping the
corner of Kage’s lip,
“Oh, Blue…” His trembling hand raised to his face and delicately rested on Lance’s cheek, leaving a hand print. "I don't want that."
Keith shuddered as he felt warm blood soak through the fabric of his pants where he knelt. Keith felt uncomfortable kneeling there, listening to Kage’s short breaths. Watching his torn stomach pumping blood out onto the ground.
"I mean this when I say it." He choked on the blood, coughing ferociously to unclog his throat. “I'm sorry."
“What do we do…?” Keith whispered to no one,
“I’ll tell you what you do. You take that body, there, the original. You board the Lion. I blast this place to hell. He’ll wake up. All will be as it was. All will be how it was meant to be.”
Silence. In reality there was no silence. Not with the firing of guns from the clones. But there was silence between the three of them.
“We can’t just—”
“Yes. You can, and you will. If I’m dying, I’m going the way I want to. The Empire can’t tell me who do be anymore.” Kage grabbed both their hands, ‘this is what I want. This is who I am.”
Keith tightened his grip on Kage’s hand. He had hated Kage, more than anything, but he realised in that moment that they were both better than that. Kage was a soldier, Keith was fighter. They both did whatever they could to prove themselves. Morals didn’t play a part in war. Keith looked at Lance, the Cuban boy’s eyes more lost then they had ever been.
“Goddamn you, Kage.” Lance’s eyes welled with tears, “I should hate you…”
“Go, Blue, be safe.”
Lance leant forward and kissed Kage lightly on the forehead.
“Thank you.”
Keith’s hand felt cold when he let Kage go. The both of them did their best not to look back at Kage as they lifted Shiro’s body from the ground. The wind cooled the blood that was slick on their hands, Kage was spilling more of it as he got to his feet. He then repeated in his low, whispery voice more ferocious than it had ever been, “let’s end this.” They couldn’t look back to him, not while they were under fire. Shiro slipped from their grasp a few times over but never fell. Kage’s blood was making it difficult to hold on. A final unintentional sabotage.

By some miracle they hauled Shiro into the Red Lion without being shot, or worse, killed. The sounds of chaos behind them were haunting, Keith wanted nothing more than to clap his hands over his ears and block out the universe. Lance stood at the helm of the Lion, staring out into what had been a battlefield. The clones were disbanded and spread across the planet in no meaningful attack formation. Some climbed the outside of the Lion, others tried to break in. Some had turned and run into the shadows, following Kage’s trail of blood. Lance and Keith’s eyes lingered over that trail. Keith felt Lance take his hand. Something foreign tugged at Keith’s heart. He felt weighed down, he felt almost guilty. He leant forward, placing his left hand on the panel of the Lion and commanded in an unintentionally low and whispery voice, “let’s go…”
The Lion roared, as if to signal, and took off. The planet’s surface disappearing from beneath them. The chaos becoming nothing more than a view. Lance’s hand gripped so tightly that Keith could feel him slow the blood flow. Lance lifted his other hand to his cheek, resting just over the drying blood of Kage's hand-print. The Lion became consumed by the planet’s lilac clouds and as they reached the outer atmosphere, Kage completed his mission.

The core detonated.

Our spark of love will burst to flame and put the red red roses to shame

Chapter Text

Mere movement of paralyzed limbs. Cold sweats and growing goosebumps. Bursts of light amongst darkness. Echoes of sounds, be it dirt being kicked from the ground or feet thudding on the floor. The phantom punch of gun recoil. Unintelligible yelling and cries for help. Tossing and turning beneath a sweat soaked quilt. All leading to the moment of awakening.

Four months and a trip to Earth later; Lance was still having nightmares.

Lance didn’t like waking up in the dark. The room did have a small light night on his bedside table. Blue shades shimmering from lilac and sapphire to baby blues and pastel colour. He had been turned away by its default colour of lilac. Strange, how a single colour could make him feel so many emotions. Lilac would always bring him back to that one moment that haunted him. The core detonation.

Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons.
We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue.

Hindsight was a beautiful thing. Both Lance and Keith has learnt the importance of hindsight. Kage, to their memory, was much more honorable than the Kage that they had gotten to know. Although he had been raised in the Empire, with war being the only thing he would ever truly know, his actions were undeniable.

But with those undeniable ruthless, cruel actions came the undeniable reality of his selflessness. The core had successfully blown. As Kage had said, all the wiring had fallen loose. Shiro had awoken half way through their trip back to Earth. His state had been touch and go but he had since made a recovery. He could not remember the events of his time as Kuron, and he had asked that he tried to remember on his own time.

Things had been somewhat peaceful. Only, that was, until the nightmare started. Lance saw Kage in every one of his nightmares. One night he was the enemy, the next he was an ally. But no matter who Kage was or what role he was playing, he was always destined to that moment of combustion. The countdown clock always ran out. No matter the situation, Kage always suffered that fate. Incineration.

And sometimes living's too hard.
We're like two halves of one heart.

Lance didn’t like Kage. But he did respect him for his self sacrifice. Once he had realised he was on the wrong side of the war, he had done his best to change it. The idea of reform and retribution was difficult to wrap one’s mind around. But in saying so, Lance imagined that detonation to be the closest possible form of retribution. Kage had proven his worth and it had costed his life.

Returning to Earth was a lot of rebuilding. Rebuilding relationships, rebuilding the team, rebuilding a livable life. Keith had come to realise the importance of perspective. The world is only what the eye of the beholder makes it. Keith was dedicated to making the rest of his life absent of those who threatened to take what he cared about from him. So he always kept Lance close and couldn’t help the flare in his chest when things seemed suspicious. But with time came adaptation. Shiro and Adam finally, finally, got married after years of Shiro leaving Earth. Hunk and Pidge returned to their families, collaborating with Matt and the rest of the Garrison to adapt to the idea of future warfare. Coran and Allura made peace with Earth, only questioning why water fell from the sky when it rain instead of rocks. And Keith, well, Keith found himself wherever Lance was.

It was a month into their return that Keith turned to Lance and whispered a fearful,
“Were you being serious?” Lance’s puzzled expression beckoned context, “when you asked me to marry you?”
“I…” Lance trailed off but didn’t break eye contact for even the minutest of moments. Keith felt that same fearful flare that maybe his fears were real, “Keith, why would ever think I wasn’t being serious?”
Keith was lost for words but he eventually stumbled across a coherent sentence.
“Because… fear makes people do things they don’t really understand…”
“So you think that I proposed without understanding?”
Keith’s mouth opened to speak but not a single syllable left before Lance started laughing,
“Keith. I don’t understand many things in this universe. Like anything Pidge talks about. Or parallel universes. Or, hell, even giant robot lions that can combine to make a super-weapon in defense of the galaxy. But if I were to tell you the one thing that I truly understand. It’s you .”

Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money.
All I need is you.

So the wedding was on. Keith nor Lance really knew exactly how to work a wedding. Who to invite, where to hold it, how to… buy a ring? The two of them were somewhat useless. Thankfully Shiro and Adam took it upon themselves to organise it. They held it in a place with no address; the cave system where they had found the Blue Lion to begin with. Lance’s mere presence had caused the walls to light up in sparkling blue. Once the Garrison had implemented safety measures, it worked perfectly. The rings were beautiful silver bands embedded with swirls of ruby for Keith and sapphires for Lance. How Coran managed to acquire a marriage license was not something they inquired but he took it upon himself to bless the two of them, wish them a happy marriage and shed a tear. Amongst the milling of guests, someone had caught Lance’s eye. From across the court, standing by the entrance to the cave, with a face obscured by shadow, stood a man with skin tinged in an all too familiar shade of lilac. But before Lance could recognise reach him, guests moved in front of him. And once they had gotten out of his way, the figure was gone.

“Lance?” Keith called out, “Lance.... what’s wrong?”
“N-nothing.” He eventually stuttered, aware of his husband taking his hand,
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Keith smiled lightly, brushing loose strands of hair from Lance’s eyes,
“I just…” Lance’s mouth had gone dry, “I thought I saw a ghost.”
Keith frowned slightly, concerned. Lance brushed past the moments and held his hand out to Keith,
“May I have the honor of this dance kind Sir..?”
The smile on Keith’s face was the only answer he needed. Lance just so happened to be an incredible dancer. He moved with such ease that Keith felt beyond uncoordinated. But as they went, Keith felt himself settle into Lance’s arms.
“When you were taken from me, Lance McClain, it was as if every single star was stolen from the sky.” Keith mumbled into Lance’s ear, “and now you’re back with me, they’ve never shone as bright as they are shining right now...”

All I need is you.