Archive of Our Own ^beta

Roman could hear a sound from one of the other rooms, like a grating whisper or a soft call. For a moment, he thought that one of the others were just watching something in their rooms, all of them had insomnia sometimes, it wasn’t uncommon, but then the volume raised a bit and he heard the word ‘please’. Immediately levering himself up, Roman pulled on the night jacket that Patton had given him a few years ago. It was well-worn and loved, a faded red with gold lettering and a crown that had softened with time that read ‘Our Prince Charming’. Logan rolled his eyes when he saw it, but Roman knew he had helped Patton create it, the clear lines and historical accuracy on the crown gave it away. It had been seeing a lot more use since Patton had gotten back from the Dark Sides. Nightmares were frequent and Roman was there to help battle them away, often rising in the night to go see to his friend.

Logan had researched nightmares and trauma with a fervor that belied any claim of emotional distance and had gone over his findings with Roman in careful detail, calmly describing what Patton would likely be going through and how to help him the most effectively. Patton had been missing for months and Roman knew that it was silly to think that he would recover so quickly from such a time in that house of horrors, but it had been quiet on all fronts for a few days and he and Logan had been hopeful. However, stepping into the hall and peering through Patton’s door, Roman saw that Patton was sleeping peacefully and felt his brow furrow in confusion, before he heard the sound drifting down the hall again. Wishing he had brought his sword, but unwilling to go back for it, Roman crept down the hall as quietly as he could until he reached Logan and Virgil’s door. It was coming from the latter’s door and he cautiously reached out for the handle. Regardless of all he’d done, Virgil was a Dark Side and it was difficult to forget sometimes, especially when entering his room.

“I heard him as well.”

Roman would never particularly admit to the brand of movement that he made in his alarm, a mix of ninja chop, reach for his sword, twirl, and near trip that had absolutely no effect on the side in front of him, likely to do with the fact that Roman had both failed to actually touch him and that he had nearly displayed what a Roman pancake looked like. In fact, Logan briefly looked almost amused, one brow raised sardonically in the manner that Roman sometimes practiced, but consistently failed at. But his face quickly rearranged itself to studiousness and carefully disguised concern.

“I likely would not have heard him at all, were it not for how quiet Patton’s nightmares have been. I admit, I have been focusing more on alertness than on a proper night of rest of late. It seems that house trains its inhabitants into silence.”

“More like Malice trains them into it.” Roman muttered, right before the sound drifted out again and they were both brought back to the choice at hand. Roman’s hand was still hovering above the handle and he and Logic still hesitated, wanting to help, but not knowing if they should.

“Oh, Roman, Logan, I was just going to –“Patton cut himself off with a yawn and they turned to face their last member who was drowsily drifting toward them in cat pajama’s and Virgil’s old hoodie. “I was just going to check on him too. I think he’s having a nightmare.” He reached them and blinked at Roman’s hand in confusion, since it was still hovering near the doorknob. “Are you planning on opening that, Roman?”

“Ah, yes, of course, Logan and I were merely waiting to-. That is to say, we wanted to ensure-. I mean-.”

“We were unsure if Virgil would appreciate our assistance and did not want to distress him further.” Logan precisely explained and Roman nodded almost frantically along.

“Oh, that’s so sweet! But kiddos, no one likes to wake up from a nightmare alone! Now, we shouldn’t crowd him, but we should definitely be there for him and wake him up and remind him that he’s not there anymore, that’s all! Now come on!” Reaching forward, Patton opened the door himself and immediately stepped in, Roman and Logan following closely behind. The room was dark and gloomy, but some of Patton’s drawings lined the walls and there were a few more Disney poster’s as well. What drew the eye the most was the massive bed and the bright blue quilt that Patton had made for Virgil in the center. The blanket was drawn up above Virgil’s head, but they could see him tossing and turning from the doorway. Patton immediately ran toward his friend and gently reached out to lower the blanket and shake Virgil’s shoulder. The action only seemed to agitate the darker side more and his voice raised in distress.

It was a mishmash of pleading and whimpers that sounded like Virgil was remembering pain and Roman felt his face drop at the sound of it. He wondered how long Virgil had been dreaming and how many nights he had been too quiet to hear, because this couldn’t be the first time. Patton began to shake more insistently and Roman saw Logan start forward to try to gentle Patton’s approach, but he was a hair too late and Virgil bolted upright. His chest was heaving and his eyes were wild in the brief second they all saw him before he cringed away to the headboard, curling up protectively and going as silent as he could.

“Virgil?” Patton cautiously asked, obviously wanting to move forward, but knowing he needed to approach carefully. Virgil shuddered, but he didn’t raise his head, still curled up and shaking.

“Virgil, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” Logan’s voice rang out clearly and calmly, though they could see the concern in his gaze. Virgil remained still for a moment more, before cautiously raising his head, his eyes frantically flickering between each of them.

“Virgil?” Patton asked again and this time Virgil focused on him.

“Patton?” His voice was hoarse, like the first time they heard him speak and Logan frowned in confusion. But Patton was not deterred and immediately came closer to Virgil, extending his arms to give Virgil the choice. Virgil paused a moment and then let himself fall into Patton, still trembling and breathing quickly.

“You’re okay buddy. Do you know where you are now?” Patton began to run his hand through Virgil’s hair and Virgil began to relax more, his breath slowly evening out as Patton continued.

“Your house, my room. Still weird.” His voice was still rough and Roman felt his face crease to match Logan’s as he approached to sit on the bed too.

“What’s up with your voice, Hot Topic?” Virgil shrugged and Logan stepped forward, straightening his glasses as he did.

“I suspect that this is a case of psychogenic voice loss, wherein an individual will encounter voice issues that range from total loss to regression to a prepubescent voice to hoarseness or forced whispering. Typically, these symptoms are associated with psychological trauma, some have experienced it after a car accident, while others have found themselves physically incapable of raising their voices after a childhood of abuse.” Roman waved his hand impatiently in a circle and Logan nodded. “Of course. Now, Virgil, your voice seems to have reverted to the state that it was in when you first came to join us, may I surmise that your dream was of the occurrences of your time with them?” Virgil hesitantly looked up and nodded. Logan’s eyes softened and Roman edged closer as Patton hugged Virgil more closely.

“Well, it is not a complete solution, but I believe it would be best if you discussed the content of your nightmare with us so as to begin healing from it. Do you feel ‘up to’ sharing with us and allowing us to help?”

There was a weighted silence after that question and Roman could practically see the question warring in Virgil’s mind.

“I think so.” The whisper was still very present and Roman winced upon hearing it.

“If you think you can’t, just tell us, alright kiddo?” Virgil nodded and smiled up at Patton. Logan cleared his throat and actually sat down on the bed.

“Feel free to tell us any occurrence or just the specific event that lead to your voice being in this state for the first time.” Virgil took a deep breath and nodded.

“Just the one this time, thanks. Mal has always been Mal, neither Dee nor I were strangers to his turning on us, but neither of us had actively tried to piss him off or disobey him before. But this time, I did. Patton, you were worth it, don’t go blaming yourself for this, okay? Actually, should I even be talking about this with you? Maybe I shouldn’t-“ Virgil stilled as Patton pulled him closer.

“Verge, I need to know. Plus, I was with them too, I understand. Do you think that I blame you for what they did?” Patton’s face dropped at Virgil’s non-answer before he pulled back to look at him properly. “I don’t. I didn’t then either. And I won’t. You were just as much a prisoner as I was and I remember what they told you about us. Of course you were terrified, you had no one. It’s not your fault. And- And I know I can’t tell you that without me forcing myself to know that what happened to you was on Malice, not me. I don’t completely believe that and I know you don’t either, but we can work toward that together. For now, let us help you. Let me help you, Virgil.” He pulled Virgil close again and went silent to let him decide. After a moment, Virgil’s hoarse voice resumed, though it seemed different than before. Smoother and Logan could only hope that this was helping.

“The last day that I brought you food, I was back upstairs in my room when they came up. I went outside, thought it was just Dee, when all of a sudden, he’s attacking me and I was fine, but it wasn’t just him. Mal was there too and I had no chance then, Mal had a knife to my neck and they both knew. They took me to Dee’s room, sat me down and started going on about how I was just confused by Patton but that they would fix it. Dee didn’t seem super on board, but he would never stand up to Mal. Next thing I know, they’re both touching my head and it hurt and then it was dark and then. Then it was,” Virgil’s voice was getting hoarser again and he was shaking in Patton’s arms. “Then it was awful. I don’t know what they did, it was some kind of combined thing, illusions from Dee and, and horrible things from Mal. It was like I was dying, over and over and over and over again, in every way he could think to let me die. Everything I’ve ever been scared of, everything that I ever imagined and so much worse, because it wasn’t just accidental deaths, it was him trying to make me suffer and it went on forever, one after another and just a few seconds between each. It was awful.” Patton had tears running down his face, but didn’t make a sound, Logan and Roman made eye contact over the two and each saw the same reflection in the others eyes, horror and dismay and trying to imagine that and failing.

“It went on for ages, I don’t even know how long. Next thing I know, Dee is crouched over me and pulling me out of it and I’m getting dragged along to the basement. Patton, you know the rest.”

“Three days.” Patton’s voice is hushed. “They had you under like that for three days.” Virgil nodded, still trembling and Roman stepped in.

“Virgil. I know that we are still new to each other, but I failed you once and I will never do so again. I swear on my honor as a Prince and on my dreams themselves, I will do my upmost to protect you. For what you have done for Patton and for who you are yourself. I swear.” Virgil nodded and his shaking was beginning to ease, though it was a slow process and the sight of the two curled around each other was like a dagger in the heart.

“Virgil, I too will do my best to protect and help both of you. What you went through was a gross injustice and it… pains me deeply to know that you have experienced such atrocities. But you should know, you are safe now. Roman and I have begun to fortify the areas surrounding the house and moreover, we will both protect you. Malice is not here and he will never be permitted near you again. Am I to assume that he has hurt you before?”

“Yes. Yes, he loses his temper sometimes, Dee and I are both familiar with the other discorperating. You just have to be careful and if you’re lucky, it’s only that. If I had gone back, if Patton hadn’t pulled me here, him killing me would have been just the beginning.”

“Then I am sorry for all that you have experienced and will do all I can to help you recover from your time there. But that time is over and we will not allow it to occur again.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” Virgil’s voice was small in the hush that overtook the room.

“We will not be wrong, Virgil.”

“But-“

“Virgil. He will not claim you ever again. I will show you the plans, the safety measures, everything. Roman can show you his training bouts. Patton himself can overpower them, the only reason they took him was by catching him off guard. You yourself overcame them. Tell me, if you hadn’t stalled them for Patton and if you hadn’t been through that torture beforehand, could you have defeated him and made your escape?”

“Well, I, I don’t know, I overpowered him, but it was just because he didn’t expect it, he’ll expect it now.”

“He will not, because that was just a glimpse of what you are capable of. You were exhausted at the time, hurting, in distress, and you overpowered him. To bring it back to our host, Thomas is a person with heightened anxiety, but he is not an especially cruel person. Malice is inherently limited by the very person that he exists within. You are less so. We will improve upon your communication methods at a later date for how you inform Thomas of concerns, but you have more influence. Malice seems stronger, because his power is obvious, blinding at first, but weaker than he first appears. Tamed if you are afraid of the outcome, hoping for a better solution, or more intelligent than to go with such a path. He seems powerful, but you are more so. We are all more so. You do not need to fear him any longer.”

Throughout Logan’s speech, Virgil’s eyes widened more and more and he forced away the inherent fear of what Mal would do if he heard such a thing. Mal wasn’t here. He wouldn’t be here again. And if he ever came, Virgil would be safe. Patton would be safe. They would all protect each other. And in that moment, Virgil allowed himself to believe.

“Virgil, I’m so sorry you went through that.” Patton murmured into his hair. “It’s going to be okay, kiddo. We’ll protect you. We’ll be there for you.”

And even though Roman and Logan were still only sitting on the edges of the bed and he was still only getting to know them, even though he and Patton were both going to have nightmares and little fears that the others wouldn’t understand, Virgil believed. He allowed tears to fall in the knowledge that it wasn’t a weakness here and believed. He would be okay. He would be safe. Malice was weak in this place and Virgil was not. Malice and Deceit were alone and Virgil was not. Malice and Deceit would only ever be Malice and Deceit, but Virgil was more than Anxiety.

He would be okay.