Chapter Text
Fletch sighed and rolled onto his back, folding his arms behind his head, he'd been trying to fall asleep for over an hour now but he just couldn't stop thinking about Jac. Dinner had been uneventful, conversation had flown easily between the two of them, Jac's hand had once again found his on the walk back to their cottage and, after changing into their pyjamas, they'd spent a while curled on the sofa together, Jac's feet in his lap as an old romcom played on the TV in the corner of the room. The ‘issue’ had come later, when they both agreed it was time for bed. They'd walked down the hallway together, Fletch had said goodnight and Jac had echoed him before pushing herself onto tiptoes and kissing his cheek, it had been so brief that Fletch half wondered if he'd imagined it, but he knew he hadn't. Jac had kissed him, and now he couldn't stop himself wondering what that meant. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to her, if he said he didn't care about her, and he was grateful that she was allowing him to see behind her walls, to help her when she was so clearly struggling, was the kiss just her way of showing that she cared about him too? Or did it mean more than that?
A loud thud and an unmistakable cry of pain broke him from his thoughts and he almost flew from the bed, knocking gently on Jac's bedroom door, ignoring the quiet and frustrated “don't” as he pushed it open.
“Jac” he fell to his knees beside her on the floor, “what…”
“Please” frustrated tears filled her eyes, “don't, I…”
“Hey” he didn't hesitate before reaching out to wipe at her damp cheeks, “it's alright, are you alright though? Are you hurt? Your leg…” he took a second to look her over, visually assessing the situation to try and work out if Jac was injured.
“I…” Jac sighed in frustration, but she knew there was no way Fletch was just going to leave her, and, if she was honest, she didn't think she'd be able to get back into bed without help, “I was trying to get to the bathroom” she admitted, “my leg gave way.”
Fletch nodded, “okay, does anything hurt?” He saw the look she gave him, “is anything hurting differently to how it usually does?” Jac shook her head grimacing as Fletch nodded before telling her “I'm going to straighten your leg out first, then we'll get you up off the floor.” Jac couldn't stop herself crying out again as Fletch helped move her leg from underneath her body, she knew he was being gentle but the simple movement sent a jolt of pain up her spine and she knew she'd need to take her painkillers before she'd be able to fall back to sleep, if she managed to fall back to sleep. Once Fletch had given Jac a quick once over, checking again that she hadn't injured anything other than her pride he talked her through how he was going to get her off the floor, helping her bend her ‘good’ leg, so that, with his help, she could push herself up off the floor and onto the edge of the bed. “Steady” Fletch could tell how much of Jac's weight he was supporting as he lifted her from the floor, feeling her legs almost give way beneath her again, “okay?” he asked once she was finally back on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah” Jac nodded, “thank you.” There was silence for a minute before she reluctantly asked, “can you help me?” as she gestured to the bed, knowing she'd struggle to get herself laid back down again.
“Course, do you still want to go to the bathroom?” he asked as he stood in front of her.
Jac shook her head, “I… I'll be fine” she knew there was no way she'd be able to make it to the bathroom and back, she'd ask Fletch to get her painkillers and, if she was lucky, sleep until morning.
“Jac” Fletch sat down beside her, “if you need help getting to the bathroom then I'll help you. It's just you and me here, nobody else will know, I'm not going to go back to work and tell everyone. Please just let me help you.” Jac nodded reluctantly, tears filling her eyes as he helped her cross the bedroom, Jac sure that his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her upright. He left her standing by the sink and told her he'd wait outside and she only needed to shout if she needed anything. And she accepted that, calling his name as she stood, clinging to the sink, once she was finished, allowing him to help her back to her bed. “Did you bring a swimsuit?” Fletch asked out of the blue as he got her comfortable on the bed.
“Yeah” Jac frowned, “why?” She'd had a text from him after her initial phone call to get the details of the weekend that suggested she brought a swimsuit or something she could get wet, and she hadn't questioned him, just did as he asked.
Fletch gestured to the window, “there's a hot tub, I… not like that” he rolled his eyes as he saw Jac raise her eyebrow, “I thought the hot water and… I just thought it might help.”
“It's gone midnight.”
“And? The neighbours are far enough away that we won't disturb them. If you want to give it a go…” Jac was surprised to find herself nodding and, after telling Fletch where he could find her swimsuit, he left it on the bed beside her and gave her privacy to get changed.
She managed to make her way into the living room once she'd changed, the white dressing gown she'd found hanging on the back of her bathroom door covering her plain black one piece swimsuit and she sat on the sofa for a few minutes before Fletch joined her in blue and white floral swim shorts and a grey tshirt. “Fletch” Jac frowned when, after he helped her outside, she found herself standing on a large wooden deck lit only by fairy lights, the hot tub bubbling away in front of her and a pile of fluffy white towels on a patio chair. “I don't… I can't…” Jac gestured to the hot tub, hoping Fletch understood that she wasn't sure how she was going to get into the hot tub.
Luckily he knew what she couldn't find the words to say, “do you trust me?” he asked, getting a confused nod in response. He waited for Jac to shrug off the dressing gown before placing one arm behind her knees the other behind her back so he could lift her into his arms. “Put me down you idiot” Jac almost squealed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she wasn't sure how he'd planned on helping her into the hot tub but she wasn't expecting him to lift her so easily from the ground.
“As you wish m'lady” he joked as he took a couple of steps forwards and lifted Jac over the edge of the hot tub before putting her down, keeping his hands on her hips until he was sure she had her balance. “Okay?” he asked as he joined her in the water.
“Yeah” Jac sighed quietly as she tried to find a comfortable position, “I… thank you.”
“You don't need to thank me Jac, in fact, I should be the one thanking you.”
Jac frowned? “me? I haven't done anything.”
“You're letting me in Jac, and I know that can't be easy for you, I just… I'm glad you're letting me help you. And I promise, this, whatever happens, it stays here. When we're back at work, you're Jac Naylor, cardiac surgeon extraordinaire and I'm just Fletch. I'm not going to treat you like you're made of glass at work, that's not to say I won't be looking out for you because I will, but I won't… “
“Fletch” Jac cut him off, “you're rambling, but as much as I hate to admit it, you were right, I needed a break and I needed, need, more help than I'm willing to admit to. I'm sorry I tried to push you away.”
“Truce?” Fletch held out his hand for Jac to shake, “clean slate? No more thank yous or apologies? Just two friends helping each other out when they need it?”
Jac nodded and shook Fletch's outstretched hand, “truce” she didn't let go of his hand and he didn't mention it, squeezing gently as he lowered them back into the warm water, fingers still entwined. Silence fell between them as they both relaxed, but it wasn't awkward, it never was with Fletch. Jac didn't know what it was about him but he always felt so comfortable, safe. He was strong and reliable, he was a constant, a certainty, even when Jac felt like her entire world had been turned upside down and that terrified her, Joseph, Jonny, Matteo, none of them had made her feel the way Fletch did.
“Jac?” if she wasn't in so much pain she'd have been touched by the concern in his voice when she cried out unexpectedly.
“Cramp” she hissed, unable to do anything about it “left leg.” Fletch didn't say anything, reaching for her leg and gently stretching it out, flexing her foot before beginning to massage her tight muscles, hoping to ease her discomfort.
She thanked him once the cramp had eased but he didn't stop his massage, until eventually she realised he was just trailing his fingers over the fine lines inked on her calf, “are those…” Jac nodded as Fletch traced the outline of the tattoo, confirming his thoughts before he voiced them, “Jasmine flowers.” She didn't really know why she'd got the tattoo, it had been Jonny's weekend with Emma, one glass of wine had turned into opening a second bottle and she'd woken the next morning to a message from a tattoo studio replying to an enquiry she didn't remember sending. She could have ignored the message, carried on as if it never happened, but she made the appointment, delicate flowers etched on her skin as a permanent reminder of the sister she never knew.
“I shouldn't have…” Jac had so many regrets about the time she'd wasted with Jasmine that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to voice them all, “Paula, nothing she did was Jasmine's fault, I shouldn't have pushed her away, I should have…”
Fletch gently lowered Jac's leg into the water so he could shuffle closer, “you were there” he told her softly, “when she needed you, when she was scared, you were the one she wanted and you were there Jac. When she needed you, you didn't hesitate to be with her.”
“I didn't save her” Jac whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “I should have saved her.”
“We did all we could Jac, we all loved Jasmine, we all wanted to save her, Bernie…” Fletch knew Jac wasn't the only one who felt guilty about Jasmine's death, “we all wanted to save her Jac, but her injuries… we all wanted to save her”. He found himself, as he often did, thinking about Raf, the man had been more than his friend, Raf was his brother, his rock, and Fletch knew he'd never fill the gaping hole that Raf's absence left in his life, and, although he knew there was nothing he could have done, he still wishes he'd at least had the chance to try and save him. “But I know that's not always easy to accept. I, Raf, I… if they'd let me in the hospital sooner, if I'd have known he was missing… Sometimes the what ifs are harder to live with than the reality.”
Jac took Fletch's hand in her own once again, she'd been so caught up in her own problems that she hadn't even thought about his loss, “you might not have been there but I'm sure Raf knew how you felt about him, he knew how much he meant to you and your kids, we could all see it, there's no way Raf didn't know.”
“I hope so” Fletch sighed quietly, “I really do.”
Silence once again fell between them, both getting lost in their thoughts, Jac didnt realise she'd moved closer to Fletch until she felt him drop her hand, Fletch choosing to wrap his arm around her shoulder instead, but she didn't fight it, she was sick of fighting, of making herself deal with everything on her own, so she gave in, tucking herself against his side and letting her head fall onto his shoulder. Fletch didn't know what had changed between him and Jac, but he was glad she was finally allowing him to help her, that she was letting herself seek out the comfort she was clearly so desperate for, and he could only hope that she wouldn't try and push him away again once they were back in Holby.
Fletch was happy to spend as long as Jac wanted in the hot tub, they had no plans for the rest of the weekend so he wasn't too bothered about the late night, but when he felt Jac's body begin to sag against him and glanced down to find her eyes were closed, he couldn't stop himself kissing her temple, smiling as she stirred at his touch, “I think it might be bedtime Sleeping Beauty, can't have you turning into a prune now can we?”
“M'comfy” Jac mumbled sleepily as she tried to curl even further into Fletch's side.
“We can get you comfy in bed, you're tired Jac, let's get some sleep and, if this has helped, we can get back in in the morning.”
“Spoilsport” Jac murmured as she reluctantly pulled away from Fletch, “I'm gonna need help” she yawned, getting nothing but a nod in response as Fletch climbed out of the tub, pulling off his wet tshirt before wrapping a towel around himself, “can you stand up?” he helped steady Jac as she stood to her feet, his hands on her waist as he asked her to sit on the edge, slowly helping her spin round so he could gently lower her onto the floor. “Thank you” she whispered, keeping her arms around his neck a moment longer than she needed to once she had her balance.
“Come on” Fletch draped the dressing gown around her shoulders as he felt her shiver, “let's get you dried off and into bed.”
“Lay with me?” the words fell from Jac's lips before she'd thought about them, but she didn't need to think about it, twice she'd laid against Fletch and twice she'd fallen asleep, he'd not tried anything, not even when she was only in her swimsuit, she knew she could trust him.
“Let me get changed” he covered the hot tub and turned everything off before helping Jac inside and locking the door, “I'll make us both a brew and then come through yeah?” Fletch checked Jac was going to be okay before making his way back to the bedroom he was staying in, quickly drying himself off and changing back into the grey checked pyjama bottoms and black tshirt he'd changed into when they'd returned from the pub. Jac was already in bed, sat against the headboard, duvet pooled in her lap when Fletch gently knocked on the door, Jac had half expected him not to return, assumed she was being too ‘needy’ and he'd want a break from her, but as always, Fletch did exactly what he said he would, placing a mug of tea on each of the bedside tables before joining her under the duvet, “you comfy like that?” he asked, “or do you…” he trailed off, holding out his arm, not at all surprised when she carefully shuffled closer.
“I still have nightmares”.
“I know” Fletch gently squeezed her shoulder, “you said.”
“You don't have to stay. I don't want to wake you up.”
“I don't mind” Fletch said honestly, “and anyway, I'd rather be awake with you if you have a nightmare than asleep while you struggle on your own.”
“Earlier” Jac paused, not sure if she should say what was on her mind, but as always, Fletch didn't push her, instead he gave her the time she needed to think about what she wanted to say, and, it was the fact Jac knew Fletch wouldn't push her if she decided not to continue that made her tell him, “when I laid against you, I erm, I haven't slept that well since before…”
“I'm glad I could help” Fletch resisted the urge to pull her closer, not wanting to hurt her, “and while we're here I'm happy to lay with you whenever you want so that you can get some rest.”
“And when we're not here?” Jac didn't know what made her ask, and she wasn't even sure she wanted to hear his reply, wasn't sure she wanted to hear that she'd be on her own again.
“Well if you and Emma wanted to come for a sleepover you'd always be welcome chez Fletcher, but, if that's not for you, ring me, even in the middle of the night, call me, text me, you don't even have to say anything, but I'll talk to you, stay on the phone with you for as long as you need me to. I'm not going anywhere Jac, good or bad, you're stuck with me now, and I'm not going to let you struggle on your own. Whatever happens we'll get through it together.”
“You'll stay with me?”
Fletch had never heard Jac sound so vulnerable and he couldn't stop himself placing a gentle kiss to her hair as he promised her, “always”, and somehow, Jac knew that he meant it.