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There is always a before and after. While looking back at your life it can usually be separated into those two distinctive categories. There was a time when I could wake up in the morning and my breakfast would be delivered to me, my best friend would be by my side all day to romp around and mess with the staff, and my father and mother would kiss me goodnight in the evenings. I didn’t have to fight for my life. I didn’t have to wonder if I would live to see the sunrise. I didn’t have to worry about what was happening to the kingdom behind those stone walls, or the throne that rightfully belonged to me. And I wholeheartedly didn’t have to bat an eye thinking about him.
Then the before became an after.
Dong
“Rin, wake up!” My mother’s hysterical tone ripped the sleep from my eyes. My stomach felt like it was in my throat and my body was so stiff with panic I didn’t think I could move. My first question was why the noises were so loud. Why was everyone up at this ungodly hour?
Then, while rolling out of bed, I began to wonder where he was.
Dong
The day I turned seven another before became an after. That was the day he was gifted to me. We were inseparable. Haru was a mage, but not just any magic wielder. His striking azure eyes gave him a very unique power. I was too young at the time to fully understand the circumstances behind my gift, but even at that age, I could sense how steady his magic pulsed through his body and into the ground at our feet. That day we were both branded with the Matsuoka seal over our ribs, a bond that would withstand death itself.
Dong
“Where’s dad?” I remember frantically asking. My mom had Gou clenched in her arms while practically dragging me across the floor toward the library. Soldiers were darting past, sword and shields held in defensive positions. The same fear that ripped through my body seemed like a mutual emotion shared from one person to the next. Perhaps we were feeding off each other and real source was something I could have only dreamed of at the time.
Her face was turned away from me. The more I thought about that day, the more I remember the tears streaking down her rosy cheeks and the blood of our fallen comrades splattered across the marble floors, tainting the tapestries. This marked another before and after.
Dong
That night, they took my father, they took my best friend, and they took my second half. The soldiers hastily piled my mother, my sister, and me into the back of a carriage before taking off in the night. A few followed, but the extra guards loyal to my father took care of them quickly. While my sister’s sobs filled the coach, I snuck a peak through the red velvet curtains. It was the last time I saw our kingdom’s castle as it was. Half of the grounds and the west wing were in flames. Part of the wall was crumbling to pieces. All of my happiness seemed to drain away like the heat emanating from the blaze was coaxing my soul from my body.
Dong
His fingers slid along my bare sides sending a chain reaction of goosebumps across my flesh. Something like this shouldn’t feel so guilty. His mouth left a trail of warm kisses from the bottom of my ear to the tip of my shoulder. Arching my back in the need to feel more, his teeth nibbled my soft skin. I swallowed my moans, but with the storm tearing across the kingdom, I doubted anyone could hear them anyway.
Dong
Fifteen years we lived off the grid. Fifteen years we endured our life outside of the castle walls. It was a rough adjustment at first, but with the aid of the few soldiers that saved us from the mutiny, everything seemed like it would be okay. We lulled ourselves into the false sense of security thinking that the Yamazaki family had forgotten about us.
And maybe they had.
I trained with the soldiers frequently; sharpening my skills so one day I could take back what belonged to me. I wanted to erase the tears my mother shed every night with the brutal murder of my father, to allow my younger sister to grow up outside of the slums of Ecrus. She wasn’t one to complain, but I could see the stress building behind her beautiful crimson eyes. The same emotions were reflected into mine.
Dong
Those eyes bore deep into my mind clawing at the barrier I put into place separating the false life I created to get here and my true nature. From day one he could see through me. I was under the impression he was the reason no one else could. Our lips met again. My mark, our mark, tingled with anticipation. While his tongue wreaked havoc inside my mouth, my hands slid down his back. With all of the whispers, all of the lies, all of the rumors and deceit, no one could know of this moment. It was dangerous enough attempting to make up for the last fifteen years of separation, but to sanctify this bond during a time like this?
It was a means to an end.
Dong
Those fifteen years created numerous emotions but anger sat presently at the forefront. How could someone my family trusted so dearly to make the right choices while my father was away and my grandfather was nearing his death? That dubious smile of his burned at my soul. It was tough to say if Sousuke knew anything about his father’s scheme. I often thought of him and the memories we shared growing up under the same roof. Did those same feelings exist after fifteen years? With an aching heart, I pushed back. If this was the end, I was going out kicking and screaming. They had taken nearly everything from me. By all means, I wasn’t going down without a fight.
Dong
When everything is said and done, who am I really? Am I the rightful heir to the throne? Or am I an outcast that the world tossed to the side aimlessly? Even if I won this fight, would I come out unscathed? I knew it would be difficult making my way into the castle by the greatest show of strength, but what I didn’t account for were the tangled webs of lies and deceit that greeted me once I passed through the gates. The corruption extended much further than the surface. Suddenly, it became a guessing game. Who could be trusted? Whispers echoed behind closed doors. The hushed voices told one story while the conversations between soldiers told another. It was a growing concern on all fronts, but the truth could only be found by digging deeper, or rather, much higher up the chain of command.
Dong
That moment we sat at the precipice unsure if we needed to cross that line. The heat we already created burned at the back of my throat all the way to the tip of my dick. His eyes never left mine as his grip tightened around my legs. Squaring me up, he sucked in a sharp breath. Understanding the meaning behind it was one thing, experiencing it for the first time was another. A moan escaped my lips before I could even bite my tongue. With one thrust, the world shook.
Dong
There was always a before and after. The day my gaze met those familiar, restless sapphire eyes after fifteen long years became another red streak in my life’s timeline. That day marked the beginning of my merciless climb back to the top, and ultimately decided whether I would make it there alive or be crushed under the iron fist of the absolute monarchy.
Those blue eyes hung the weight of the world over my head. Fifteen years I thought of how he probably perished in the uprising. Fifteen years I laid awake at night, tears running down my face wondering what became of his precious life if he did escape the grasp of death. Fifteen years I abandoned him. And after those fifteen excruciating years, I had to ask myself,
would he ever forgive me?
Dong
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