Chapter Text
[jungkooks parents + husband]
fountjin: so i've been doing some thinking
fountjin: many of u lovely boys are blonde
fountjin: i've had my brown hair for a very long time
fountjin: and we are going on vacation in a week and a half
fountjin: so
fountjin: i did a thing
fountjin:
fountjin: oops?
hopefulsprite: oH MY gOD
hopefulsprite: SEOKJIN
fountjin: :)
hopefulsprite: gET UR ASS BACK TO THE DORM
hopefulsprite: I WANNA SEE
sleepysuga: seokjin was that really necessary
sleepysuga: you're already 100x more handsome than us, we get it
sleepysuga: don't need to make it worse
cuddlymochi: ^^^
cuddlymochi: YOU LOOK SO GOOD HYUNG AHHH
cuddlymochi: BLONDE REALLY SUITS YOU OMG
taeby: wHOA
taeby: hey there seokjin u single? ;)
cuddlymochi: ew taehyung you can't date ur mother in law
whippedkookie: ^^
whippedkookie: it looks really good hyung !!
sleepysuga: namjoon says he love it
sleepysuga: i think
fountjin: ?
sleepysuga: normally he only drools when he likes something, so i'm going to assume he likes it
hopefulsprite: is he deadass drooling
sleepysuga: no exaggeration, he drooled
lovebugjoon: i like it
taeby: haha i could feel the boner through that text
lovebugjoon: shut up
fountjin: do you joonie? :)
[fountjin, lovebugjoon chat]
lovebugjoon: baby i fucking love it
lovebugjoon: you look SO good
lovebugjoon: just when i thought you couldn't get anymore beautiful
fountjin: aw
fountjin: i'm glad <3
lovebugjoon: you wanna come to the coffee shop when my shift starts
lovebugjoon: and i can take you home from there?
fountjin: hmm
fountjin: convince me
lovebugjoon:
lovebugjoon: please?
fountjin: mm okay
lovebugjoon: :D
[jungkooks parents + husband]
taeby: hey seokjin
taeby: now that ur blonde
taeby: we can finally say this
fountjin: say what?
taeby: HE'S BLONDE
cuddlymochi: HE'S RICH
hopefulsprite: AND HE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A BITCH
whippedkookie: lmaooooo
sleepysuga: not a little bit
sleepysuga: he's a huge bitch
sleepysuga: the bitchiest
taeby: you just completely ruined it
taeby: that meme is LITERALLY seokjin
taeby: and you ruined it
[fountjin changed their name to barbie]
barbie: :D
whippedkookie: ew
taeby: omg
taeby: pls sing it
taeby: sing the song
barbie: i can't sing through text
taeby: you know what i mean
barbie: ahem
barbie: I'M A BARBIE GIRL
barbie: IN A BARBIE WORLD
barbie: LIFE IS PLASTIC
barbie: ITS FANTASTIC
sleepysuga: i hate you
[barbie changed their name to modelstatus]
modelstatus: i missed my accurate username tho
cuddlymochi: lolol
cuddlymochi: i mean with that hair ur beyond model status
modelstatus: ty <3
hopefulsprite: also whOSE EXCITED FOR BUSAN AND JEJU?!?!
cuddlymochi: MEEEE!!!
cuddlymochi: OMG WAIT
cuddlymochi: BOTTOM BOYS CHAT RN
taeby: OK
modelstatus: OKAY
sleepysuga: the fuck
whippedkookie: did they really just-
[bottom boys]
cuddlymochi: listen boys
taeby: my first love story
cuddlymochi: not now
cuddlymochi: we're gonna be at the beach
cuddlymochi: we gotta look GOOD
modelstatus: yes
cuddlymochi: we need to go shopping
cuddlymochi: because we gotta be the hottest thots on the beach
taeby: ugh your mind <3
modelstatus: i mean we're already gonna be
modelstatus: but i agree
taeby: WE GOTTA GIVE OUR BFS SOMETHIN TO LOOK FORWARD TO
modelstatus: so i told joonie i'd meet him at work during his shift
modelstatus: so we have time i'll drive you guys to the mall
cuddlymochi: AHH OKOKOK
taeby: YAYYY THANK U HYUNG
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[jungkooks parents + husband]
modelstatus: yoongi
modelstatus: on jimin do u prefer pink or blue
sleepysuga: uh
sleepysuga: idk?
sleepysuga: depends on what it is
modelstatus: well
cuddlymochi: SHUT UP YOU CAN'T TELL HIM WHAT IT IS
taeby: listen as long as i get the purple pair i'm happy
hopefulsprite: what are you three planning
taeby: oh we're not planning anything
taeby: kinda
[bottom boys]
cuddlymochi: screw it i'm getting the pink ones
cuddlymochi: they don't have the blue ones in my size
taeby: u slut
taeby: they are ur size you just want them to be tight as shit
cuddlymochi: well yeah
cuddlymochi: duh
modelstatus: kids i thought we were here to find beach outfits not booty shorts
cuddlymochi: LET ME LIVE MOM
modelstatus: where the hell are u guys anyway
modelstatus: wait you're
modelstatus: you're not in APOC anymore are you
taeby: :)
modelstatus: did you
modelstatus: are you in victorias secret
cuddlymochi: :)
modelstatus: god damn it
[jungkooks parents + husband]
modelstatus: i've lost the twin toddlers
lovebugjoon: you what
hopefulsprite: nOT MY BABIES
hopefulsprite: HOW WHAT WHY WHERE ARE THEY
modelstatus: we were in APOC at the mall
modelstatus: then they ran off
modelstatus: now they're in victorias secret and i can't get them out
whippedkookie: lol i love this family
lovebugjoon: have you tried threatening them yet
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: bribery?
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: reasoning?
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: hypnosis?
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: lying?
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: physical assault?
modelstatus: yes
lovebugjoon: you're gonna have to do it
modelstatus: i can't
lovebugjoon: you have to
modelstatus: i refuse to do this to them
lovebugjoon: you don't have a choice
lovebugjoon: public humiliation
whippedkookie: uh whoa there
hopefulsprite: dON'T U MOLEST MY CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK
modelstatus: brb
sleepysuga: wait
[sleepsuga, cuddlymochi chat]
sleepysuga: jiminie angel
cuddlymochi: yeah? :)
sleepysuga: seokjin told me you were in a certain store
cuddlymochi: mmm maybe
cuddlymochi: what about it
sleepysuga: you better hurry up and get out of there asap
sleepysuga: i want to see you
sleepysuga: get ur cute but over here now
cuddlymochi: but i'm shopping :(
sleepysuga: that was an order
sleepysuga: come over
sleepysuga: or i won't cuddle with you for a month
cuddlymochi: no >:3
sleepysuga: brat
sleepysuga: fine i was going to ask if you wanted to have a lil nap date but i guess not
sleepysuga: i'll just take a nap alone
sleepysuga: cold
sleepysuga: :(
sleepysuga: sad :(
cuddlymochi: wAIT
cuddlymochi: DON'T BE SAD PLEASE DON'T BE SAD
sleepysuga: :( :(
[jungkooks parents + husband]
modelstatus: yoongi what did you do
modelstatus: how
modelstatus: they just left
modelstatus jimin is begging me to take him back home what did you do
sleepysuga: nothing :)