Chapter Text
Epilogue
Waking up sucked. It was like crawling through molasses which had been sitting for a month. The air smelled of cleaning chemicals, the hospital, he was in the hospital. Dragging his eyelids open took effort and concentration, how long had he been out? Days? No, it felt like months. The groan which he forced through his chest hurt. A tightness pulled at his vocal cords and was unpleasant.
“Sammy,” Gabe whispered. His familiar was very close.
Worry and hope poured through the bond. Sam smiled, well he tried too.
“Hey.” He croaked and glanced over to the concerned looking familiar.
The lights assaulted his eyes, “Gabe, the lights.”
A shuffle and click later and he could open them without the pain.
“How do you feel?” Gabe asked.
“Like warmed up shit…”
He felt the smile more than saw it, everything was a little fuzzy. Gabe’s hand stroked his, it felt warm and safe.
“You’ve been out for six weeks; it scared the shit out of us all.”
Sam rolled over with some effort and rested his head on the pillow, his whole body ached.
“Wow… you look tired.”
Gabe grinned, “Thanks babe, I haven't slept for six weeks.”
Squeezing his hand Sam smiled, “I’m fine, honestly.”
“Yeah, the doc’s kept saying that but still who trusts doctors?”
Sam laughed and tried to sit up, the room span, “I’m starving.”
“Well you’ve been on a liquid diet for six weeks, I bet you are.”
“How is everything?”
Gabe sighed, “Fine, Dean and Cas will be over later, your Mom and Dad are still fighting over, well, everything. The council has had a reshuffle and Mr Bradbury has been promoted. Your Mom is now head of the council which is insane but awesome.”
“Yeah, that’s crazy but good for her.”
Gabe grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it so Sam who was suddenly very thirsty.
“Thanks.”
“Jack and Jesse have visited a few times; I think Jack misses his BFF.”
Sam smiled, “Yeah, it’d be nice to catch up with him.”
“Charlie and Amara are around; they’ve been worried about you.”
Sipping the water Sam winced as his throat objected to the fluids.
“They haven’t found Balthazar yet.”
Stopping mid sip he glanced over to Gabe.
The familiar huffed, “They think he’s with Syphon. MEIO are putting pressure on them and Cas has done nothing but search but as of yet, no luck. I still can’t believe he’s training to be an assassin… it's insane.”
“Yeah, just a little.”
“Oh and Cole has been separated, I helped with that. It seems like I can do the separation smoother than the potions with no side effects. The CDT is begging me to intern with them this summer.”
Sam grinned and his face hurt, “That’s amazing. If you’re happy with it I mean…”
Gabe frowned, “I’m sorry about my thing before you slept… I panicked…”
“Yeah, I know. I just want you to be happy.”
“I know Sam; I know we’re a team. And yeah I went over to see their organisation and I’ve been helping where I can, it feels really good.”
“That’s amazing Gabe, I’m so proud of you.”
Same felt the warm pulse of love from his familiar, it was amazing.
The door pushed open and his Mom walked in, “Sammy Baby.”
He leaned forward into the hug she offered, “Hey Mom.”
Growling she added, “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”
Sam smiled, “Sure Mom.”
“I take it Gabriel has filled you in on current affairs?”
Nodding Sam glanced at his familiar, “Yeah, he said you couldn’t find Balthazar.”
She grimaced, “No luck so far. We’re not giving up though. The good news is that John has managed to disband the House of Mori, so the attacks have stopped.”
“That’s good Mom. Now when can I go home?”
The answer came an hour later when the doctors signed him off and released him. Walking was hard work; even with the physiotherapy, the muscles were tight. It would take time to get back to normal.
Cas and Dean met him at home a few hours later.
“Sammy!” Dean yelled as he threw himself onto the couch and hugged him. Cas followed and sat the other side and they crushed him between them.
“Hey, guys.”
Dean glared, “Don’t ever do that again!”
Sam smiled, “You sound like Mom.”
Cas laughed, “I keep saying that.”
Leaning over Dean punched Cas’ arm.
“I know you felt that too, was it worth it?”
Grinning, Dean nodded, “Totally.”
It was nice to see them so happy.
Gabe returned from the kitchen with snacks, Sam had never been so hungry in his life.
They sat and ate in front of the TV, Charlie and his Mom joined them a little later. Relaxing with them all made him feel so happy and grateful that it warmed his insides.
This was how the next few weeks passed and eventually, Sam decided it was time to go back to school. Cas and Dean had returned at the start of term. So were Charlie and Amara.
He walked into his room at college feeling like he’d been away forever and also not at all. When huge things happened in life but stuff stayed the same it felt wrong. Like your whole world had changed so the rest of life should've changed with it.
Gabe sat on the bed and frowned, emotions battered at Sam through the bond. He dropped his bag and sat next to his familiar.
“Everything okay?” Sam asked knowing it wasn’t.
Gabe nodded, “Yeah, I think so. It’s just weird being back here.”
Sam smiled, “Yeah, everything goes back to normal and it feels like it shouldn’t.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s six, do you wanna go grab a coffee?”
“Sure.” Sam stood and waited for Gabe to follow then wrapped him in a tight hug. He’d been doing that a lot. They didn’t take anything for granted any more.
Gabe pulled back, “Come on, I need my caffeine fix.”
Laughing Sam pulled him out of the door.
Days rolled into months and spring was drifting into summer. Sam felt great, well except for the nightmares. Well not nightmares, one dream. It came to him at least once a week and he was finding it harder and harder to shake.
“Babe, that's the third time this week. Please tell me what you’re dreaming about.”
Sam rolled over in bed and put his head on Gabe’s chest, “It’s stupid, I don’t even know why it bothers me so much.”
“Tell me.”
“Okay.” Sam sighed, “It's just this park, like six flags but old, broken… like in a horror movie and I’m walking through it. It’s the sensation more than the place, like… panic, fear and then lightning cracks and I’m awake.”
Gabe froze, "And it always the same?"
Frowning, Sam nodded.
“Was there a name or anything on the signs?”
Sam thought back to the dream, “There was a hut I think it said, Lake Shawnee? Why?”
The familiar rolled from the bed and flew through the bedroom door. Sam watched and had no idea what was happening. The next sound was Cas and Dean moaning about Gabe waking them at 7 am.
“Oh, my goddess Gabe put on some damn clothes.” Cas cursed.
“West Virginia, Lake Shawnee, the old amusement park, we checked there right?”
Sam had moved to the door so he could watch.
Dean frowned, “What are you-”
Growling Gabe repeated himself, “Balthazar! He is in Virginia, Cas was right. He’s there; we just didn't look hard enough.”
Cas moved to the door and looked at the ceiling. Sam passed Gabe his robe as he went over to them.
“He’s clothed Cas.” Sam laughed.
“Thank you.” Cas sighed.
“Now explain Gabe.”
Gabe scowled, “Sam keeps having this reoccurring dream, “West Virginia, Lake Shawnee.”
“Right, and that has to do with what?” Dean scowled back.
“He said it feels creepy, panic overwhelms him, I think it’s a message from the Goddess. She's telling us that Balthazar was there this whole time and we missed something.”
They all stared at Gabe like he’d lost his damn mind.
“Sam, have you ever been there?” Gabe asked.
“No.”
“See!” Gabe hissed, “It’s a message, I’m telling you.”
Cas looked at Dean and then at Sam, “It can't hurt to check it out.”
Dean shrugged, “I’ll call Mom.”
“I need to go.” Sam added and they all turned to him.”I feel like I should go there, I think I can find him.”
Gabe squeezed his hand, “Are you sure?”
Nodding, Sam smiled tightly, “Yeah, now you said that I’m sure. Tell Mom I need to go Dean.”
“Sam… she won't-”
“I have to go Dean.” Sam reiterated as he stared at his brother, “The Goddess is willing it, I have to go.”
It was a battle but thirty minutes later they had portled home and were making a plan with his Mom and MEIO.
“Sam you will stay with Cas. You will not leave Cas’ side do you understand me?”
He nodded, “Yes Mom Sir.”
Gabe giggled.
“Samuel Winchester, I mean it. You will not undermine this operation with your childishness.”
Sam scowled, “Fine, yes Mom I’ll stay with the babysitter.”
Cas rolled his eyes and clipped Sam around the back of his head firmly.
“Ow.” Sam cursed, “So tetchy.”
A smile flicked over Cas’ face and Sam grinned.
“Dean you will wait at HQ with Gabriel.”
“Mary-”
“No Gabe, no. It’s bad enough having two of my boys in the field when one is distracted protecting the other. I will not endanger you all.”
Gabe’s jaw snapped shut, they all knew that tone, and she was done. Sam could feel Gabe’s frustration through their bond and leaned into him to taper some of the emotions.
“Listen to me, of something goes wrong just get back okay. Home, HQ wherever… I can’t” she sighed, “I can’t lose you again, any of you.”
Sam moved to hug his Mom and she held him tight, “We’ll be okay Mom, the Goddess, she’s watching.”
Mary nodded and stepped back, “Right, the portal is being cast and we’ll be a go in five, four, three-”
A swirling mass of orange light opened and the MEIO team headed through. They packed full paramilitary gear, Cas and Sam were dressed the same and followed them into a field. It was dark, really dark but they had spells that helped them see.
Sam felt the change as soon as his feet touched the grass. The air smelled like spellwork.
“Can you smell that?”
Cas nodded, “How can you?”
Shrugging, Sam moved to the left, MEIO went right. Cas followed Sam and radioed that there were changing direction. He told them to check the perimeter and fall back with them when they were done. The stars were clear and bright in the night sky. The moon gave them a shred of light to see by, it would have been nice if it wasn't so creepy. Sam moved on instinct, wading through the waist-high foliage like it was parting for him.
“Sam-”
“Shhh.” he cursed.
The throb of direction in his chest pulled him south, then south-west. They ended up at a hut with the theme-parks name on it. It was old, worn and looked like it was falling apart. This place was so creepy he wanted to run and never look back. He frowned, and then ran his hands over the wood. Electricity scratched over his skin and he jumped. Protection, it was faint but there. Sam had never been able to feel spells; maybe this was his power developing after being tied with Gabe for a while?
“Something is here Cas, it's hidden.”
Cas frowned, “You can feel it?”
Nodding Sam pushed against the spell; instinctively he dug his fingers in and closed his eyes. It felt a little like jelly, his hands sunk, then his arms. Before he knew it Cas was cursing as Sam disappeared through the barrier.
The other side was different. There was a black door, it was shut, it was the only thing in the field. No frame, no Cas, no moon… weird. Sam decided against his better judgement to move forwards. The invincibility that he’d experience in the church had returned. The Goddess was riding him and he could almost feel her winking.
Sam touched the door and the spell disintegrated. A portal opened and he stepped through. The chamber was huge. Marble floors with yellow veins flowed in every direction. Brick walls rose from the floor and curved into beautifully arched ceilings. There were no windows and no doors that he could see. The inner pull told him to start walking. The journey only lasted a few minutes. Well, it felt like a few minutes but he could have sworn this red, ornate looking door had not been visible before.
His fingers hovered over the wood and the spell crumbled, another portal opened. This one was blue like the night sky which he was suddenly missing in this windowless space. Stepping through, his boots hit the tile floor with a thud. Except the tile floor was a perfect circle surrounded by sand. The stars shone again and the air was cold, Sam shivered. The red sand dunes seemed to go for miles in every direction; even the stars looked strange here. That's when Sam heard voices breaking the silence. Creeping over a high dune he collapsed on his stomach in the sand, it was freezing. Who knew the desert could be so cold?
Peering over the sandy ledge Sam watched. People in red surrounded a figure who cowered on a tile covered circle. It was similar to the one he’d landed on. These tiles were back and embedded with runes and spell work. Shuddering, something told him that it was a bad place for that person to be. The Goddess whispered in his mind and she was very clear, be bold she said, be bold and know your power. She filled him with light and certainly that he was safe, he would always be safe with her.
Sam moved down the sandbank towards them and stopped on the periphery. Shock hit him when he realised who was in the centre of the circle.
“Balthazar,” Sam whispered and the obscured faces of the group turned to him.
Each wore a golden mask that had four red stars on the right cheek. Their clothes were red, each outfit different but all the same perfect shade of fresh blood. That couldn’t be any creepier a small voice groaned in the back of his mind. The faces were hidden but Sam knew they all wore shock; it was as if he could feel it.
Balthazar was near comatose and he actually felt sorry for him. His skin had been carved into and he appeared nearly dead. The goddess wept, Sam could feel it and he wasn’t sure why. Balthazar was bad, he’d hurt Gabe, he’d tried to hurt Sam. She urged him to listen and he would because she was their maker. Something wasn’t as it seemed. A second figure lay on the floor by the witch. Sam hadn’t seen Lilith as she curled into him just as still, his heart broke, it was all so awful.
The Goddess apologised for this next part and let him know it was probably going to hurt. Sam agreed instantly. Whatever she needed from him she could take, his family was alive thanks to her. She took over his body, Sam was still him but not. His eyes were a swirling flaming gold as he stood there staring them all down.
“You tried to hide from me?” she spat.
Sam’s voice was his but also hers as if filtered through a machine that blended them together.
The group stepped back as one.
Sam paced towards them and they stopped moving. She’d done that, not him. Approaching Balthazar, Sam fell to his knees. The witch was naked and completely unconscious. He stroked the witched face, it was bruised and bloody. Instead of triumph or justice he got pain, it lanced through the Goddess and he felt every moment of it. Confusion raged in the back of his skull where he observed from.
“Balthazar, come back here.” She whispered, “Come back to this place. I know it’s nicer there, safer, but you are needed here.”
A tear rolled down his cheek and was shed by them both as her pain became his. The broken man took a deep and shuddering breath but remained unconscious. Sam knew he was out of immediate danger and so was Lilith. Standing, he watched them all through the Goddesses eyes, she was incensed.
“How dare you.” She threw at them. The words slashed like a whip had them cowering to their knees in the sand. “How dare you use my gifts this way, this perversion of my offerings ends now!”
Sam felt her power as it rushed out and struck them all. One by one they collapsed into a heap and lay unmoving. Dead, they were dead. Then the strangest thing happened, the Goddess stepped outside of him. He could see her as clear as day, a woman. Though he couldn’t tell how old but she was golden like the sun. Sam sagged to his knees as exhaustion swamped him. The tall female image smiled at him, his soul glowed and he smiled back.
“Hello, Sam, my morning star.”
“Hello.”
“Thank you for listening to the dream, I’m sorry it was not more direct… this mess-” she sighed, “It should not have become this.”
Frowning, Sam looked at the bodies.
She fell to her knees and cupped his face in her hands; it was like staring into the sun. Not blinding as such but overwhelming.
“Sam. You are the North Star in my group of chosen. You will guide them all. Not lead, no, that burden is for Dean. He is my knight. You will be my channel and his wise counsel. Do not worry about how you will understand in time. Gabriel, the conduit and Castiel the warrior are going to be, spectacular, if I do say so myself. They are guardians, your mates… you will all be amazing together but you're missing some pieces.” She glanced over her shoulder, time seemed to stand still.
Sam frowned.
“Sam, Balthazar is your third pair. He and Lilith were always made to be your third pair. Bound by blood through the familiars, Balthazar is your soul and Lilith the heart.”
Pain flooded him again and tears soaked his cheeks.
“This-” she whispered. “This was never meant to be, his father poisoned his soul from birth, what he did was an abomination. Part of his father lives in him when Gabriel arrives you must convince him to help. Pull the black from Balthazar, bind him to his familiar and you will see what was meant to be. I must leave before I hurt you again my son, my perfect shining light in this world of darkness. Be safe, be strong and fight like I know you can.”
The golden visage vanished and then the yelling started.
“Sam!” Gabe called as he skidded to his knees in the sand and wrapped himself around Sam. The familiar looked tired and had stubble, a few days worth. Wait; wasn’t he clean shaved this morning?
“Hey, Gabe.”
“Hey, Gabe! Are you kidding me?!” he yelled, “You’ve been missing for three days!”
Staring at him Sam tried to understand the words, “What?”
“Three days Sam!” Gabe hissed, “You walked through that Goddess damned spell and then Cas lost you and you’ve been gone for three days!”
The bond must have completed because Gabe seemed fine and Sam hadn’t felt a thing, wow that was quick.
Cas was the next to assault him, the hug was hard and brutal.
“Where in hell's name have you been!?”
He glanced at the MEIO team as the poured through the green portal, one of Dean’s obviously. His Dad and Mom weren’t far behind.
Dean tackled him as he stood and almost knocked him on his ass, “Hey big bro.”
Hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him, “Don’t hey me!”
Mary and John were next and he hugged and grinned at them. They all stood around him, “Gabe, I need you, come with me?”
Sam felt calm, it was an almost unnatural calm and Gabe frowned but followed.
His familiar hissed, “Balthazar.”
Rage flowed through the bond but Sam took Gabriel’s hand, “We need him. You have to help him.”
Gabe’s jaw dropped as he turned to his witch, “Help him? Are you insane?”
Dean and Cas were off to the left checking the corpses for signs of life that Sam knew they wouldn’t find.
Turning, Sam stroked Gabe’s face and stared into his golden eyes, “I love you, I’m sorry you were so scared but he needs our help. Look at his aura, really look and see the parts that aren’t his. Remove them, I know you can.”
“You’re scaring me,” Gabe whispered.
“I know but I’m fine, the Goddess came but now she’s gone I’m just a little high, please help him. You’ll see…”
Gabe shrugged and walked over to the broken man on the floor. MEIO were already wrapping Balthazar in blankets and using healing spells on him. Sam followed quietly and knelt on the tile next to the other witch. He stroked Lilith and everyone recoiled. None but Gabe could see how hurt she was, no one could understand how alone she was. They could, they’d been separated, they knew. Sam watched Gabe frown as he reached for his power and then smiled as his eyes became wide.
“I see it.”
Dean ran over, “What's happening?”
“It's okay, let him work,” Sam whispered.
They all stood and watched as Sam held Balthazar’s hand and Gabe pulled slithers of black from his aura.
Cas leaned over to Dean, “Are you seeing this?”
“Yeah… not sure how though.”
“She wants you to.”
“She?”
“I think he means the Goddess,” Cas replied.
Sam nodded, “Balthazar is a victim just like we were.”
He could feel them scowling but they’d understand soon.
Gabe was pulling darkness for over an hour but after it, he was stable enough to take back through the portal. His familiar refused to bind Lilith back to him without her express consent. While his inner Goddess grumbled, she also understood, consent was important.
Sam was so tired of being poked and prodded but his Mom and Dad insisted that he was checked out.
“Sam.” Gabe said as he poked his head around the door frame, “Balthazar is awake.”
Shooing the doctor away politely Sam rose and followed Gabriel.
Balthazar’s room was like his and he smiled as he faced the man who had tortured his familiar. He knew the Goddess was overriding his emotions and he wanted to be mad but he couldn’t. Balthazar had nobody. No family left, his biological mother and brother's didn't want anything to do with him. It would change but for now, Sam was his only ally.
“Balthazar?” Sam sighed as he walked over and sat by his bed. Lilith was curled in his lap and Gabe let him know they were bound back together. Good, as it should be. Balthazar stroked her with tears in his eyes.
“Hi, Sam… I… I can’t”
Taking his hand, the one not stroking Lilith he smiled, “It’s okay… you couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t you’re fault.”
There was a spell surrounding the witch and it felt sticky. MEIO's standard containment incantation for witches, those due for prosecution surrounded him. Sam ran his fingers through it and simply thought ‘be gone’ and it was. A second later his Mom ran urgently into the room. The alert must have been tagged to her.
“Sam?” She asked, “Are you okay? The spell.”
He frowned, “I removed it and you’re going to drop all of the charges.”
“We're doing what?” Gabe hissed.
Mary was staring at him.
It took a little fighting but eventually, his Mom conceded.
“Leave us, please? Gabe, you stay.” Sam asked. The room had become quite full as they’d argued but now it was just the four of them.
“Gabriel, I’m so sorry,” Balthazar whispered.
Gabe scowled, “I know that Sam is okay with you but I’m not and I don’t think I ever will be. But I saw your aura and it was… evil, what he did, was evil. So, I’m willing to see who you are without him. I won't guarantee anything but I felt it, so I understand.”
The witch nodded as more tears slipped from his eyes, “How could he do that? To his own son? I don’t understand…”
Sam stroked his hand, “It’s over now and you're not that person anymore.”
“The things I’m done, Sam…”
“No, that wasn’t you, you couldn’t stop it.”
Balthazar cringed, “I have nowhere to go… no family, none that are speaking to me, Cas… oh, Goddess…”
The sobbing was hard to watch but Sam did and he rubbed his back gently until he could speak again.
Balthazar looked at him, “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Smiling, Sam glanced at Gabe, “Because you’re family.”
The second argument that day ensued when Sam insisted on taking Balthazar home. Everyone fought him and they all lost. The Goddess had a plan and they wouldn’t go against her, he knew it and eventually, they caved.
Three weeks into the new living arrangements and it started to feel normal. Lilith and Cas started to bond within a week. When Amara came over they were like the Three Musketeers: Leather and Hell Fire Edition. Charlie took a while to come around. So did his Mom but in a strange turn of events, Cas bonded with Balthazar quicker than anyone thought he would. Sam had known because they were twins so of course, they would bond. Balthazar, without his father's influence, was kind. So incredibly kind and considerate but also sarcastic and funny. Lilith was a caring soul and made sure the whole group was emotionally healthy. Dean had been the most surprising and saw Balthazar’s new nature quicker than anyone else. Sam couldn’t have loved his brother more than in those first few days. The witch had helped their new guest settle into the spare suite and made sure he had everything he needed.
Sam sat mulling it all over as he watched everyone. They laughed and relaxed, summer was in full swing and the Lake was amazing. Dean and B were running circles on the water in the speedboat and Cas was off flying with Jodie. Gabriel had curled up in a ball next to Sam’s leg with Lilith to the side. The sun was shining in the clear blue sky and Sam felt truly blessed. No matter what happened moving forwards. No matter what magical mayhem ensued, he would have his family and they would be just fine.