Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

12:40

Mitchell added Scarlett, Sebastian, Piper, and 7 others

Mitchell: here’s the groupchat we talked about at the last cabin meeting. Remember, no cursing and keep it PG. This is mostly just so we all know how everyone’s doing/camp business. Hope everyone’s happy to be back at camp x.

Asher has changed their name to Meme overlord.

Meme overlord: sup fuckers

Mitchell: ….Asher. Really?

Meme overlord: it doesn’t count if it’s a vine reference

Sebastian: it doesn’t count if we said no homo

Sebastian has changed their name to punk prince

Mitchell: does everything you do have to be for the aesthetic?

punk prince: if not, is there even a purpose?

Mitchell: hm. so edgy. 

Stefan: oh, are nicknames gonna be a thing? yaaas

Stefan has changed their name to the gay one

Lacey: excuse you im gay too

Sophia: so is Mitchell? rite?

punk prince: who hasn’t had gay thoughts honestly

the gay one: you’re all right

the gay one has changed their name to the hot gay one

the hot gay one: fixed (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

Drew: it’s so cute when you try so hard.

the hot gay one: of course you show up only to insult me

punk prince: it’s kind of her thing

the hot gay one: w/e (Raised Hand )

Scarlett has changed their name to bleeding scarlett

punk prince: very original(Thumbs Up Sign ≊ Thumbs Up)

bleeding scarlett : better than yours, hun. I thought hipsters went out of style in 2012?

punk prince: ARE YOU CALLING ME A HIPSTER

1.00

Lacey:...any reason the groupchat went dead after that?

the hot gay one: um mitchell seb and scar are fist fighting help

omg seb knocked over a lamp

omg can a fire start like that

omg

omg

(Collision Symbol ≊ Collision)

Mitchell: IM ON MY WAY

1.30

Piper: anyone die or

cause i think i have to file that kinda stuff with chiron

Sophia: it’s okay, we found a fire extinguisher

Meme overlord: everything exciting happens when im working the camp store :(

Sophia: a house fire is exciting?

Meme overlord: are you saying it’s not?

Sophia: touché

Lacey has changed their name to Ben

the hot gay one: ? Ben?

Sophia has changed their name to Jerry

the hot gay one: oh

nerds

Jerry:  (Kissing Face With Closed Eyes ) (Kissing Face With Closed Eyes ) (Kissing Face With Closed Eyes )

Ben: almost everyone’s got a cool name now!! Drew? Micah?

Drew has changed their name to Queen(Crown ).

Ben: Yay! Micah?

Micah: Nah. I like my name.

Ben: Okay! (Two Hearts )

Mitchell: well, i think that’s enough groupchat for today.  

Mitchell has changed their name to Mitch the bitch

Mitch the bitch: SEBASTIAN

SEB COME BACK HERE AND CHANGE MY NAME BACK

SEBASTIAN

You guys are so lucky Sabrina’s too young for a phone.

2:38

Valentina: Ah, so I see despite Mitchell’s best efforts, this groupchat has already dissolved into chaos.

Mitch the bitch: Valentina, please, be my last tether to normality. Please. I beg of you.

please.

Valentina has changed their name to hot sauce.

hot sauce: nah. this sounds fun.

Piper has changed their name to Lightning McLean

Lightning McLean: agreed.

Mitch the bitch: my last breath on this earth will be an exhausted sigh due to all of you

3.10

bleeding scarlett: So funny story

I went into the closet

MY section of the closet

to find my Chanel jacket with the metal clasps - the one that’s worth more than all of your lives combined? :)

and funny enough

I couldn’t fucking find it.

How FUNNY.

Meme overlord: breaking news there’s gon be a murder in the aphrodite cabin 2nite

Micah: yeah im staying in the hecate cabin good luck

hot sauce: tell lou we said hi!

Micah: i will

bleeding scarlett: WHO TOOK MY FUCKING JACKET

the hot gay one: i’m not saying sebastian took it but….IMG.JPG

bleeding scarlett: IS THAT THE FUCKING BEACH??

DID YOU TAKE MY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR MINK LEATHER JACKET TO THE *BEACH*???

THE BE A C H?????

the hot gay one: we wanted to get tans

Mitch the bitch: no cursing in the family groupchat

Meme overlord: you do realize,,,,

Mitch the bitch: Yes, I know, but I also have no idea how to change it. Scarlett -- calm down, Sebastian, come return Scarlett’s jacket immediately, you didn’t ask.

Lightning McLean: ^^^ what he said.

Queen(Crown ): Great parenting, Pipes.

Lightning McLean: Still better than yours :)

bleeding scarlett: they better be back soon (Angry Face )(Angry Face )(Angry Face )(Angry Face )(Angry Face )

Mitch the bitch has changed their name to CAMP MOM

CAMP MOM: better, but can’t i just have my own name?

punk prince: no.

Jerry: wait if mitchell's our camp mom who’s our camp dad

Meme overlord: connor.

CAMP MOM: never say that out loud again

and never tell him that. It’ll be unbearable.

the hot gay one: tell him what

CAMP MOM: that you guys called him dad

the hot gay one: oh yea

ok i just did

punk prince: admit it,,,you just wanted to call connor daddy

the hot gay one: of course.

CAMP MOM: I hate you so much.

Jerry: mom(Crying Face )

punk prince: speaking of...

punk prince has added Connor Stoll

punk prince hi daddy :)

Connor Stoll has changed his name to CAMP DAD

CAMP DAD: hello my children (Face Savouring Delicious Food )

CAMP MOM has left the conversation

CAMP DAD: oh no

im too young to be a single parent

CAMP DAD has added CAMP MOM

CAMP DAD: you’re going to give the children abandonment issues

(Broken Heart ) (Broken Heart ) (Broken Heart )

CAMP MOM: im not going to be apart of this.

Meme overlord: sigh mom and dad are fighting again

punk prince: like connor and mitch fight.

they had a ‘fight’ over the school year bc mitch thought connor was spending too much time visiting and not enough focusing on ‘his own high school experience’ (gross ik) and connor offered to transfer schools and he hung up on him and w/in the hour mitch was sobbing on the phone line about how much he loved him

it was disgusting. totz ruined me & basil’s sexting.

CAMP MOM: you’re all grounded.

CAMP DAD: you’re all ungrounded(Heart With Arrow )

who wants to go get ice cream?

CAMP MOM: you WOULDN’T

CAMP DAD: babe....it’s so funny that you think I haven’t already (Heart With Ribbon )(Heart With Ribbon )(Heart With Ribbon )

Queen(Crown ): I can’t believe this turned into conchell flirting in our family groupchat

That’s enough

Queen(Crown ) has removed CAMP DAD from the groupchat

Queen(Crown ): that’s what you guys get for being gross

punk prince: honestly i agree your flirting is so weird

hot sauce: ice cream in the cabin for anyone who wants some!!

CAMP MOM: this was a terrible idea.

Chapter Text

~DAMN FAM~

2.30

Travis: get ready.

Katie: jfc

Mitchell: What?

Katie: part of me doesn’t even want to know

Travis: and the other part?

Katie: is already loading the paintball guns, of course.

Travis: god i love you

Marry me

Marry me rn

Katie: eh

Mitchell: ….ok straights

what are we getting ready for, again?

Travis: o yea.

See you soon (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

Mitchell: No.

no, you will not.

travis.

...travis?

TRAVIS.

Katie: RIP Mitchell (Skull )

Connor: @travis Is this why you locked me in the camp store?

Katie: omw. Mostly to laugh.

Connor: thx. (Thumbs Up Sign ≊ Thumbs Up)

Think they’re dead?

Katie: prolly

2.45

Travis: Hello my loves.

Mitchell: Fuck off

Travis: Oh Mitchell, you say the sweetest things (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

Mitchell: I’m going to murder you in your sleep.

Katie: Don’t wake me up when you do so

Travis: ;o katherine, will you not defend my honor?

Connor: My dearest brother you say that like you have any honor left to defend. We all remember Kansas.

Katie: I don’t think even Kansas can forget Kansas.

Travis: I bet they wish they could

Connor: Anyway, y does Mitchell want to murder u 2day

Mitchell: I always want to murder your brother, Connor.

Connor: Cool. That means i’ll always be the favorite.

Travis: You know, love and hate are actually very similar.

Mitchell: So is murder and assault :-)

Travis: Mhmmmmm tell me more. Tell me how much you wanna get your hands on me (Winking Face ) (Winking Face ) (Winking Face )

Mitchell: I hate you.

Connor, your brother is determined to singulate the Stoll bloodline.

Katie: sounds bout right

Travis: mitchell didn’t like my present (Crying Face )

Connor: travis got you a present?

Travis: i put so much thought in it and everything

Katie: I hope he’s only mildly traumatized.

Connor: you got mitchell a present?

Katie: o boy. Here we go.

Travis: ??

Katie: DM me.

Direct message between Connor and Mitchell

2.50

Connor: Travis got you a present?

Mitchell: ….

Really?

THIS is what you’re gonna get weird about?

Connor: presents are our thing.

Mitchell: he’s literally proposed to me.

He had a ring and I don’t trust him enough for it to have been fake diamonds.

Connor: of course they weren’t fake, who do you think we are, amateurs?

….did you like the present?

Mitchell: it was a twenty-pound teddy bear that inflated the moment I walked into the cabin. And it never stopped. It broke our windows. Scarlett had to stab it with one of her knives. 

I couldn’t see pass stuffing for twenty minutes

I think they’re still looking for stefan

Connor: and?

Mitchell: and while Sabrina is in love with it, stuffed animals don’t exactly speak to my soul.

Connor: :o what about all the stuffed animals I’ve gotten for you?

Mitchell: those are special.

Connor: Why???

Mitchell: Because my boyfriend gave them to me, and not his crazy annoying older brother.

Connor: omg you called me your boyfriend

Mitchell: we’ve been dating for over a year

Connor: omg still

“Boyfriend”

(Heart With Arrow )

Mitchell: dork.

Why don’t you come over? Cabin’s empty due to all the stuffing everywhere.

Connor: OMW!!!

(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant)(Face Savouring Delicious Food ) (Smirking Face )(Smirking Face )(Smirking Face )

Love kids

3.15

the hot gay one: so fellas what do you do when you’re stuck in the closet (ikr hilarious) due to teddy bear stuffing and you hear your brother and his incredibly hot boyfriend start to get it on in the next room.

oh there’s a hole in the door too.

nice.

my lookin hole. 

punk prince: sit back and enjoy the show i suppose

the hot gay one: what else can  i do honestly

Jerry: scream

Ben: cry

Micah: ^ both, probably.

hot sauce: omg say you’re in there! They can let you out. I’m on my way!

Please let them be dressed when I get there.

the hot gay one: I don’t think they can hear me??? But I can *Sure* hear them. Connor's pretty loud. 

Connor’s fit js

(Eyes )

hot sauce: I’m running!!1

Jerry: we can’t let our brother be traumatized

bleeding scarlett: but can’t we?

Jerry: Someone try calling Mitchell!!!

punk prince: not answering

the hot gay one: i can vouch for him, he’s a bit busy.

hot sauce: HERE!

3.45

Jerry: so??????

CAMP MOM: i hate you all. @Queen(Crown ) you were right next door, why didn’t you come get stefan??

Queen(Crown ): seemed funny.

Ben: Are you okay, Stefan? Being locked in there for so long couldn’t have been good.

CAMP MOM: he’s absolutely fine.

the hot gay one: I Have Seen God And He’s In Connor’s Abs.

punk prince: fckin knew it

pay up bitches

Queen(Crown ): Really? He has abs?

Mhm. Interesting.

CAMP MOM: Stay away.

Direct message between Katie and Travis:

4.30

Katie: so what was up with the teddy bear thing w baby m?

Travis: He’d be so annoyed if he knew that’s what you called him.

I’m gonna use it at dinner tonight.

Katie: of course.

So?

Travis: m and c haven’t gotten any time alone in awhile (i know this bc it’s ALL c talks about jfc) and gift giving is an incredibly infallible way to make c jealous

so

an inflatable teddy bear later, c is overcome w the desire to reaffirm his love for m

we should probably expect a big grand gesture sometime soon. w/in the next week at least.

Katie: hm. Smart. maybe you’re not just another pretty face.

Travis: don’t say that, you’ll ruin my street cred. all the other trophy husbands will never respect me if they know that.

Katie: whatever you say, dear.

wanna prank the apollo cabin? I can explain later

Travis: you know exactly how to turn me on

no explanation needed, im already outside ur cabin (Hibiscus ) (Hibiscus )

Katie: (Smiling Face With Horns )

Chapter Text

love kids 2

10.30 a.m.

the hot gay one: Where’s mom

Meme overlord: idk olympus prolly

the hot gay one: not that mom. where’s mitchell?

punk prince: did u check the cabin

the hot gay one: would i be asking where mitchell was if i hadnt checked the cabin already

punk prince: idfk

the hot gay one: he is not in the cabin.

Jerry: hermes?

Ben: Nope. alice says travis/connor are gone too.

the hot gay one: Piper’s gone too.

Ben: :o Do you think someone kidnapped them? This is too many even for the Stolls.

punk prince: they’re probably fine.

altho this basically means we have no supervision.

the hot gay one: yes and?

punk prince: …..

anyone wanna go to jamba juice

bleeding scarlett: let me grab my jacket

punk prince: hurry up im by the mess hall. can u still hotwire the vans?

bleeding scarlett: of course

Micah: I’ll come.

punk prince: hurry up we’re leaving in 10

Ben: Should we really be leaving? Mitchell might be in trouble

punk prince: if stoll 2 is gone as well i guarantee he’s fine

Meme overlord: can i audition for the new role of mitchell since he’s gone 5eva

punk prince: proceed.

Meme overlord: -clears throat- hi my name is mitchell im a nerd and my boyfriend is literally the most dramatic person on the entire planet, nee the galaxy, but for some reason i like it even tho my cool ass siblings dont understand it at all

punk prince: so far surprisingly spot on.

hot sauce: be nice!

bleeding scarlett: nice is overrated.

hot sauce: edgy.

can you get me my usual? medium #4 w pb2 powder?

bleeding scarlett: fine. but ONLY bc you lent me yr gucci handbag last week

hot sauce: (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

Ben: Do you guys think they’re okay? im worried.

punk prince: they can take care of themselves. but yet again --- they’re probably fine.

Ben: probably????

Jerry: now look what you did. You gave it anxiety.

Ben:(Disappointed But Relieved Face ) (Disappointed But Relieved Face ) (Disappointed But Relieved Face )

punk prince: stop it and i’ll bring u back a cookie

Ben: … (Smiling Face With Open Mouth And Smiling Eyes )

punk prince: fixed.

Queen(Crown ): You fools. It’s the first of the month.

Meme overlord: ….and?

Queen(Crown ): Idiots.

hot sauce: Oh, isn’t today the counselors meeting?

the hot gay one: Ooooooooh. Makes sense.

Queen(Crown ): (Face With Rolling Eyes )

counselors groupchat

11.07 a.m.

Annabeth added Katie, Leo, Mitchell, Percy and 9 others.

Annabeth: Chiron said to keep this business-only so we don’t clog up the important info.

…..

so come here often

Percy: are you trying to pick me up? (Smirking Face )

Annabeth: no i was talking to piper

Percy: :o

Leo has changed the groupchat name to “Can you believe Chiron has entrusted us to take care of kids I can barely brush my teeth what the fckkkkk”

Annabeth: speak for yourself, Valdez. I, at least, know how to take care of myself. 

Piper: oh, so you styled your hair to look like that?

Jason: Wow, that’s the first Aphrodite-like statement I’ve ever heard you say.

Like, ever.

Mitchell: I’m so proud.

Piper: the only thing stronger than my aesthetic is my need to drag Annabeth at every instance possible

Annabeth: wanna FIGHT mclean???

Leo: lolol you think there’s a moment in time ever that she DOESNT?

Katie: honestly…..truth.

Nico: jesus fucking christ it’s only been fifteen minutes how the hell is my phone already blown up

Leo: nICO SAID A BAD WORD

Jason: no cursing in the groupchat

ten points from hufflepuff

Nico: ok 1. Im a slytherin

2. Im turning off the notifications for this

3. (Waving Hand Sign ≊ Waving Hand)

Leo: we all know the only other thing you use your phone for is calling hazel and playing clans of catan

oh, and for sexting will.

Nico: actually ok wait im back

Nico has removed Leo from the groupchat.

Nico: Ah, so much better. It’s like spring cleaning.

Jason has added Leo to the groupchat.

Jason: No removing people from the groupchat.

Leo: Thx babe.

Jason: (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

Leo: (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

(Kissing Face With Closed Eyes ) (Kissing Face With Closed Eyes )

(Face With Stuck-Out Tongue And Tightly-Closed Eyes ) (Face Savouring Delicious Food ) (Tongue )

(Tongue )

(White Left Pointing Backhand Index ≊ Backhand Index Pointing Left) (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)

Percy: omg STOP

Leo: that’s homophobic

Will: it’s really not

Leo: oh hey will (Smirking Face ) (Smirking Face ) (Smirking Face )

how u doin???

(Winking Face ) (Winking Face )

Annabeth: are you purposely trying to call death onto yourself

Leo: ,,,,,what?

Annabeth: just wait.

Leo: what are you talking about?

…...who’s banging on my door

Oh it’s just di angelo

JESUS FUCK

Annabeth: knew it.

Will: No raising the dead for non-emergency situations!!!!!!!! Omw!

Nico: it was an emergency.

Will: What? What emergency?

Nico: Leo was there and he needed a punch in the face.

Jason: Where are you all? I’m coming.

Leo: babe i’d love to hear that any other time but huRRY

Connor: hahahahahaha this is all great

11.45 a.m.

Katie: the demeter calls the arts and crafts table after lunch today.

Travis: ummmm you wanna fight

Hermes clearly has dibs

Katie: Hermes also blew up the picnic table last week after their secession. Dibs gone.

Travis: fist fight me in the strawberry fields, winner gets arts n crafts hour

Katie: my love, if you even think about harming my strawberries I’ll commit genocide and Chiron will be my alibi.

Connor: I can’t believe i have to watch my parents fight

Piper: Smart money’s on katie

Connor: no doubt

…..were you kidding bout that? Cause i can have a betting pool going within the minute

Piper: go for it

Travis: already done

Will: why don’t you guys split the supplies and have one cabin use the mess hall tables? We can get them cleaned off before dinner, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Katie: hm.

Fine. But Hermes has to take the mess hall.

Travis: honestly, we could use the extra space so it works

i think riley wants to rig her sculpture to catch fire on queue

Will: shouldn’t you...stop her?

Travis: and strife her creativity?

Connor: we would NEVER

Piper: sound cool. Lemme know if it works.

Leo: i could TOTALLY help with the making of that.

Connor: we'll let her know! p sure she'll love a fellow arsonists opinion

Leo: (Fire ) (Fire ) (Fire )

4.30 p.m.

Piper: Where’s Clarisse?

Percy: must we ask that question. i was having such a good day.

Mitchell: She broke her phone again

Travis: Again??

Connor: hahaha travis owes me ten bucks

Mitchell: Really? @travis You took that bet? She goes through like, two phones a month.

Travis: What can I say, I have hope for the future.

Also, she’s already cracked three this month alone. I thought she would have like,,,,been more careful.

Leo: she probably heard that thought and took it as a challenge

Percy: i honestly would not doubt that.

Annabeth: you know perce, if clarisse wasn’t a lesbian i’d call what u guys have sexual tension.

Percy: I -

I can’t listen to this.

Goodbye.

Percy has left the groupchat.

Nico has added Percy to the groupchat.

Nico: no escape, bitch.

Chapter Text

counselors groupchat

11.30

Annabeth: CTF pushed back to 3 due to the explosion in the mess hall. Everyone do roll call yet?

Percy: Everyone from my cabin is accounted for.

Jason: Same.

Nico: Mine as well.

Annabeth: Fuck off.

Other cabins with actual members?

Will: Apollo is a bit hectic right now bc most of us are spread across camp as medics. I’ll let you know when I have a final count.

Leo: Hephaestus is all good (Thumbs Up Sign ≊ Thumbs Up)

Travis: Hermes is down 2 campers but honestly that was to be expected

Piper: my cabin is preparing for war against u as we speak.  

Will: Felix and Lydia are getting bandaged up rn. I’ll have someone escort them back there as soon as they’re done

Annabeth: was it really smart to pull this kind of prank RIGHT before CTF? pretty sure no one’s gonna side w u guys now. poor strategy, would not recommend.

Connor: Thanks W!

also to be fair, we never knew our bubblegum bombs could hit such a wide area.

I’m honestly a bit impressed with how they’ve improved on them

Leo: Oh, riley finally changed the formula? I offered her some notes last time we met

Mitchell: Why……...would you do that

Leo: I shall always aid in the quest of learning

Nico: I need you to know that I hate you.

Leo: Still upset the gum ruined ur aesthetic?

Nico: It got in my HAIR

Annabeth: If you two start fighting in here again I’m banning you both

Nico: Promise???????

Katie: Anyway back to business

I haven’t been able 2 find Basil, anyone seen him? @Will is he in the infirmary?

Will: No, sorry. I’ll have Hina check the makeshift one closer to the Mess Hall.

Mitchell: I saw him with Sebastian very briefly….which probably means they’re both gonna be gone for the rest of the afternoon.

Katie: If you see him again, put him in a headlock till I get there.

Mitchell: …..no promises.

Katie: dont b a baby, m.

also everyone’s been found in d cabin

Leo: LOL D CABIN

like dicks

get it ??

so funny

Nico: (Thumbs Down Sign ≊ Thumbs Down)

Mitchell: (Thumbs Down Sign ≊ Thumbs Down)

Percy: (Thumbs Down Sign ≊ Thumbs Down)

Annabeth: (Thumbs Down Sign ≊ Thumbs Down)

Katie: choke, valdez

Leo: everyone is so mean 2 me :(

Mitchell: Can we get an update on the injury count, @Will ?

Nico: Will’s busy w a patient but i can type out the numbers give me 1 sec

nothing more than a handful of minor injuries, worse include a sprained ankle, broken elbow, and some 2nd degree burns that can b treated no prob

also someone tried to chew the gum which,,,,wasn’t a g8 idea

Connor: Wait, really?

Travis: What happened? In detail?

Connor: Can we come by & take notes?? We’ve been wondering what happens but no1 wanted 2 try

Nico: i say go ahead but im 100000% sure will won’t let u in. u can try tho.

Travis: that’s basically permission thanks!!! this is great research honestly

Will: you do realize someone’s hurt, right?

Travis: you can yell at us in person. Be there soon!!! (Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )

11.50

Leo: haha and then what ;-) ;-) ;-)

Oh wait sorry that was 4 jason

11.55

Annabeth: Two things there.

1. Are you seriously sexting while we’re discussing campers injuries due to something YOU helped create

2. Pls don’t tell me you sext like a fuckboi.

Piper: he does.

Travis: Oh? And how would you know?

Piper: We have a groupchat.

I’m very familiar with his brand of sexting

Mitchell: I refuse to let this conversation go any further.

Btw Aphrodite campers are accounted for.

Annabeth: Thank you, Mitchell.

12.25

Clarisse: guess who got a new phone

Percy: idk i don’t think it’s new chiron always had that flip phone piece

Annabeth: sigh

Percy: oh shit wait

fuck

Clarisse: no thanks, jackson

Percy: DONT YOU EVEN

WHY THE FUCK

Annabeth: watch your language

Percy: You literally got marked up for language this morning when you spilled coffee on urself

Annabeth: so im familiar with why it’s important we set a good example :)

Percy: i do and i say what i want

Annabeth: okay.

1.10

Percy: Annabeth.

My love.

My dear.

The light of my life.

Nico: Ew. the straights are back at it again

Piper: it’s funny u think they’re straight

Percy: annabeth, my love, dear, sweetheart.

Annabeth: Yes?

Percy: WHY DID I JUST RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM MY MOTHER ABOUT MY USAGE OF HARSH LANGUAGE ????

Leo: omg you told his mom???

Piper: Damn. You got Sally in on this? Honestly impressive.

Clarisse: this is the best day of my life

Jason: Been an honor knowing you, bro.

Annabeth: What she did say?

Percy: I think im grounded

Can she even still ground me??? Im living at camp and like,,,ive saved the world like 10 times now. I dont think she can ground me.

Jason: You’re totally grounded, man

Piper: rip we’ll miss u buddy

Clarisse: I won’t.

Who wants to have a party to celebrate?

Connor: did someone say party

Travis: we can have this going in 20 mins maybe less just say the word

Percy: oh,,,my,m,,,gods? She talked to Chiron???? I’m ACTUALLY grounded for saying fuck??? No dessert privileges for a week?? ??

Clarisse: aw that’s it?

Percy: oh my god FUCK OFF

1.30

Percy: @Clarisse YOU TOLD CHIRON ON ME ?????

Clarisse: I hear it’s 2 weeks now

Maybe you should learn from your punishment

Nico: wow i cant believe we’ve witnessed a murder

Press f to pay respects.

Jason: f

Leo: f

Piper: f

Travis: f

Connor: f

Annabeth: eh he kind of brought this on himself

Percy: this pain is neverending

Nico: *this groupchat

Chapter Text

love kids

Lightning McLean: Alright, listen up nerds.

Mitchell’s officially off-duty and out-of-state so that means I’m completely in charge for the time being

punk prince: he didn’t mention this ?

Lightning McLean: It was a surprise

the hot gay one: Ah.

So he was kidnapped

Lightning McLean: semantics.

Anyway

Since Mitchell bailed out on us and you’re all devils

the hot gay one: offended.

Micah: but true.

Lightning McLean: ANYWAY -

I’m bringing in reinforcements.

punk prince: ….what?

Lightning McLean has added Leo Valdez and Jason Grace to the groupchat.

Lightning McLean: Say hello everyone.

Leo Valdez has changed his name to Matchstick boi

Matchstick boi: SUP EVERYONE ITS A JOY TO BE HERE

quick question tho…..eaxactly how flammable is ur cabin? Ive heard warning but honestly im a bit curious to how true those rumors are

Queen(Crown ): why…..would you do this.

Lightning McLean: Oh, did you want to step up as my co-counselor for the week?

the hot gay one: pls no. i cant go back to the mandatory highlights.

Queen(Crown ): Please, those highlights were the best part of your personality.

Matchstick boi: I promise i won’t make anyone get highlights

Maybe a tattoo but thats so-so

Ben: :o

hot sauce: i really feel like mitchell would be opposed to that

Jason: Hey everyone. Excited to be working with you guys this week!

Also, I promise Leo will NOT set the cabin on fire.

Matchstick boi: he’s already made up a schedule and activity chart

Also, (White Frowning Face ) (Broken Heart )(Broken Heart )(Broken Heart )

Jerry: Is snack time on there?

Jason: of course!

Ben: NOICE

punk prince: is our bedtime never?

Matchstick boi: Yes!

Jason: No.

Although completely honest i have no idea how bedtimes actually work with cabin members so…..@Lightning McLean ????

Lightning McQueen: Bedtime remains unchanged

I refuse to babysit any more than what’s required

Meme overlord: You’re not my real dads!

the hot gay one : Jason can be mine if he wants ;)

bleeding scarlett: @Matchstick boi don’t you have your own cabin to take care of ?

Matchstick boi : O yea. brb.

Meme overlord: did you….forget about your own cabin

Matchstick boi: forget is such a harsh word

Ok babysitter in place

punk prince: oh, I bet Nyssa loved that. You’re such a great counselor!

Matchstick boi: She didn’t mind actually! Had to cancel some plans with Kenna, tho.

Oh, wait, Kenna turned you down, right? She told me yesterday (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

What can I say, the girl’s got brains. runs in the family (Winking Face )

punk prince: fuck off :)

Jason: No cursing in the groupchat! (that’s a rule right @ Lighting McLean ?)

Matchstick boi: you ask that like you didn’t completely memorize the rule list piper gave us

Meme overlord: There’s a rule list?

Matchstick boi: it’s like, 4 lines. And one of them is ‘no killing/stabbing/etc. each other’

Queen(Crown ): damn it.

How flexible is that ‘etc.’?

Jason: guys no cursing :(

the hot gay one: If you want us to stop just send a shirtless pic and this can all go away

Lightning McLean: Do you want a trial by combat, Stefan?

bleeding scarlett: I BEG you to say yes stefan gods PLEASE

Queen(Crown ): It’s not like it would be entertaining. Piper would obviously win.

the hot gay one: not if i can submit a victor to fight for my honor

punk prince: ….Ellis?

the hot gay one: of course. Fighting for my honor is basically in the boyfriend contract.

punk prince: I’d actually kind of like to see that fight

Jerry: we all would

Jason: No one is fighting. After all, it’s almost arts and crafts time!!!

punk prince: yay us.

6.10 AM

Matchstick boi: GOOD MORNING MY LOVELIES

WAKE UP

RISE N’ SHINE

GET UP YOU LOVESICK FOOLS ITS BFEST TIME

WAKE UP

WAKE UP

WAKE UP

(Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)(Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)(Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)(Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)(Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)

hot sauce: leo.

it is an hour and a half before our alarm.

it is three hours before breakfast.

and you have woken me up.

Matchstick boi: Greet the day, Valentina! We have a morning of activities planned!  

bleeding scarlett: Great! Your murder is first on the list.

Matchstick boi: Stop texting and just let me in already.

Queen(Crown ): Oh, you’re outside the cabin?

Matchstick boi: Yes! Now let me in!

10.20 AM

Jason: Has anyone seen Leo? He wasn’t at breakfast.

Lighting McLean: I slept through all the action this morning, I haven’t seen him at all.

Queen(Crown ): Haven’t seen him.

hot sauce: He was gone all morning.

punk prince: who’s leo?

Ben: ….

(Persevering Face )

the hot gay one: Lacey, don’t you dare.

bleeding scarlett: say anything and you’ll regret it.

Jerry: Uh, are you threatening my sister?

bleeding scarlett: she has nothing to worry about if she keeps her mouth shut.

Lightening McLean: Okay, what’s going on?

Ben: OKAY YOU GOT IT OUT OF ME

HE’S IN THE CLOSET

HELP HIM PIPER THEY TIED HIM UP WITH OUR SCARF COLLECTION AND THEY’RE FORCING HIM TO WATCH 27 DRESSES ON REPEAT

Jason: I’m on my way.

punk prince: forced? He asked for entertainment. We gave it to him.

Ben: They made him miss breakfast!!!!

Micah: to be fair, we did give him a box of dry cereal.

Ben: it was special k!!! disgusting dry cereal!!!

hot sauce: those who commit crime must be punished.

bleeding scarlett: sooo who’s ready to beat lacey into the carpet for telling on us?

Jerry: try it :)

Ben: brb currently keeping asylum in the hermes cabin

Meme overlord: yea, mitchell is going to hyperventilate when he sees this