Chapter Text
Chapter 12
Hercules and Iolaus had no luck finding Argo. They concluded that the horse either didn't want to be found or she was waiting for her master to call her back. The following morning, Hercules suggested that they get a move on elsewhere in order to find Argo because her saddlebag held a very important leather armor. Xena was dressed in a linen sleeveless dress that hit a few inches above her knees.
Gabrielle remained inside of the hut within the Amazon encampment. She could hardly sleep last night and neither could Xena, but the two barely said a word to one another. The bard knew that this Xena was the real one, but still, there was something off about her. This warrior princess wasn't the same person she once was. Gabrielle didn't want to pry Xena for information and had yet to tell her what happened over the last few days. She could hardly believe that was only a few days of chaos. It felt like a lifetime for her.
Xena lay in the bed on her side, gaping at the wall. She heard Gabrielle shuffling around in the hut, though the air was thick and tense. Everything was awkward and silent. Xena felt like she wasn't in the same place anymore. She was locked away somewhere for awhile and she couldn't leave that horrible place. She couldn't remember anything and that was the most frustrating thing of it all.
If only she could recall her memories and why she was trapped in that fog for so long. She felt like years passed her by, but she knew that couldn't be true because Gabrielle was still the same. Hercules and Iolaus were here and she wasn't entirely sure why they were here. She wasn't even certain as to why she was inside the Amazon's camp and she also didn't understand why she was without her armor. She never went anywhere without it.
She felt like she was missing a piece of herself. Or perhaps she was in another time period or maybe she was still in a dream. Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Xena flinched in fear and looked over her shoulder to see the bard's concerned face and big green eyes gawking down at her.
Gabrielle felt a nervous tension from Xena and that was something she never witnessed before. Xena was always so strong and hardheaded, but she has a kind heart. This Xena was not the person she grew to love during their travels together.
"I was able to make some tea. I didn't know if you were hungry or not..." the blonde bard said and Xena rolled back over onto her side. She frowned sadly and set the cup of tea on a table near the bed. "Hercules and Iolaus went to look for Argo again," she said and received no response. Exhaling heavily she wasn't sure what to do now. She knew Xena could be quiet sometimes, but never this quiet.
"Listen, Xena," she began, "I don't know what you're thinking right now, but I just want to let you know that I'm really happy that you're back and I missed you a lot."
Xena furrowed her eyebrows and tucked her hand beneath her chin. "I didn't know where I was. If I wasn't with you then where was I?" she finally spoke.
Gabrielle's eyes grew and was relieved to hear her beloved friend's voice again. "Do you want me to start from the beginning?" she asked. Xena turned over onto her back and stared up into Gabrielle's eyes then gave her a curt nod.
Sighing, she started the long story, but made sure to leave some parts out. "We were in Thessaly fighting Ares' army. They were attacking a village for no apparent reason." She noticed the confused look on Xena's face. She wanted to ask if the warrior remembered that, but decided to keep going. "Ares was still upset that you wouldn't marry him or..whatever," she cringed in disgust then continued, "long story short, he made a deal with his sister, Hebe, to turn you back into your warlord self, but it didn't work. You reverted to a younger version of yourself: a teenager. You didn't even know who I was. I tried to get Ares to reverse the spell, but it didn't work. Anyway, Hercules and Iolaus helped me turn you back. It took a few days but here you are." She smiled faintly, hoping that her friend would remember some of what she said.
Xena pursed her lips and blinked rapidly as she continued gaping at the bard. Gabrielle sighed and saw the bemused expression on her face. "You don't remember any of it, do you?" she asked and Xena shook her head. "Well, maybe it's a good thing you don't remember because I thought for a second there that I'd never get you back and you'd be stuck in your teenage body forever!"
The warrior sat up in the bed and inched closer to Gabrielle. "I...was sent somewhere. I didn't know where I was. Everything was so foggy. So much fog." Her head began to hurt just talking about it. "I saw you, I saw Ares. I saw people I didn't remember but they remembered me. It felt like I was there for eternity. I thought I was in Tartarus. I didn't know how to leave until...you showed me the way." She smiled softly.
Gabrielle's cheeks flushed and she grabbed Xena's hand, squeezing tightly. "I guess you were stuck there because of Hebe's spell." She said and though it sounded crazy, she wouldn't put anything past the Olympians. She huffed and stared at Xena once more and her confused face. "Well, anyway, I'm glad that I was able to help you come out of...wherever you were. I'm really glad you're back. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Thanks Gabrielle."
"For what?"
"For showing me to my right path. I was given a choice. I could have chose Ares but I picked you. That was only way out of that place. I hope I never see that place again or Ares," Xena's upper lip curled as she thought of the God of War and his antics. It was no surprise that Ares was behind everything. Once again, his plans fell through and he made a huge mess for everyone.
Gabrielle chuckled. "I think we'll see Ares again but I hope it won't be anytime soon."
Hercules entered the hut breathlessly and smiled at Xena, seeing her awake and talking again. "Nice to see you back to yourself again."
Xena smirked, "I don't feel like myself, but I will...eventually." she shared a knowing look with the bard beside her.
He nodded and hated to interrupt. "I can't find Argo anywhere, Xena. She doesn't like me."
Gabrielle scoffed, "join the club. She doesn't like me either."
Xena frowned, feeling a bit insulted. "She does like you."
"No she doesn't Xena!" Gabrielle spat. "That horse is obsessed with you. She's like your baby," she teased and Xena rolled her eyes.
"She'll come back," Xena swung her legs out bed and smoothed the linen dress. "She always does."
Gabrielle hopped off the bed and watched Xena heading towards the exit. "Where are you going?"
"To get some fresh air. It is much needed," Xena cast her bard a soft smile then brushed by Hercules and left the hut.
She walked through the empty Amazon camp alone. Everything was the same, or was it? She had no idea what happened here but the Amazons were gone. A minor detail that Gabrielle forgot to mention it seemed. Surely, she would find out what happened eventually. For now, she wandered through the camp barefooted. She felt less and less like herself especially since her armor was gone. Everything was gone.
She felt connected here but at the same time she didn't. She missed Gabrielle but while she was trapped in that awful place, she didn't even know Gabrielle existed even when she looked into her eyes. Gabrielle was a stranger to her and now that she escaped that fog, she didn't want to feel abandoned ever again, from anything or anyone, especially Gabrielle. She was the most important person in her life and to lose her, even for few days, was enough to know that she could never leave Gabrielle's side.
Her hearing heightened and she halted in the middle of the forest. She was far enough from the camp now and knew she wasn't being followed by Hercules or Gabrielle. No, she was being followed by someone else.
"Ares," she said flatly.
He made himself visible to her eyes and he saw the horrible look on her face. She was not happy, that was for sure. He brought his hands from behind his back sheepishly. "I got your armor back for you," he said and lifted the leathers.
She raised an eyebrow and snatched it from his hand. Clutching the armor to her chest, she continued glaring at him. The war god's eyes averted away from her harsh stare and he folded his arms. "Why did you do it?" she asked.
His eyes lifted from the ground and saw her facial expression change from pure anger and hate to bewilderment. "Do what?"
"Put a spell on me to turn me back into the horrible person I once was. Why did you do it?"
This was not a question he wanted to answer, but he wasn't going to run away from her now. "Because I..." he began and saw her eyes widen, awaiting his answer. If he told her his real feelings for her, she might laugh or brush it off like she always has in the past. But if he didn't tell her then they would remain in the same relationship they've been having these last few years –strained.
He straightened himself and felt like he couldn't tell her why he really did what he did to her. He couldn't take the rejection again. It was bad enough that he got rejected by Xena's younger self, but to be rejected by her current self...he couldn't take again.
"Because I want you to belong to me. Why is that so hard for you to grasp? You can be so dense."
She was tempted to roll her eyes, but refrained. "I will never belong to you Ares. I don't belong to anyone. I can't believe you would stoop so low to ask one of your stupid sibling's for help. You used me and this is a new low, even for you, Ares."
He groaned and saw her about to walk back to the Amazon camp. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen," he said and she halted. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."
Xena smiled and placed a hand on her hip. "Oh? Enlighten me then. How was it supposed to happen then? That I would magically become your warrior queen and terrorize the world with you by my side? You know, Ares, I'd say you disgust me, but now I just feel sorry for you. The reason why I am not with you anymore is not because I hate you, but it's because I don't love you. You can't make someone love you, Ares."
She looked at his defeated self and never thought she'd see that expression on the Olympian's face. "I'm sorry," she said then walked off back to the hut.
Gabrielle was arguing outside the hut with Iolaus and then saw Xena walk up with her armor in hand. Both ceased argument and Gabrielle cocked her head. "Your armor...you found it...?"
"I didn't find it. It was given to me," Xena said. She felt self conscious standing in a linen dress. Iolaus cleared his throat whilst rubbing the back of his head.
"I'll go see if Hercules needs help. He's still looking for Argo," he said then ran off to find his friend.
Gabrielle approached Xena and they head inside the hut. Xena stripped herself of the dress and began putting on her leather armor, piece by piece. "Who gave your armor back to you?" she asked. Xena said nothing and strapped her gauntlets on. "It was Ares, wasn't it?"
Xena sighed heavily. "Gabrielle, nothing happened and yes he gave me my armor back."
"Why is he being so kind all of a sudden? Did he do something to you again?" Gabrielle's eyes roamed Xena's backside and then probed the warrior's body for anything unusual.
Xena hissed and smacked the bard's hand away. "He didn't do anything to me. Quit it." she put on her corset and tried lacing it up by herself. She felt Gabrielle's hands grab hers and began lacing up the corset as tight as the leather would bend. "Thanks..." she muttered.
As Gabrielle laced up the warrior's corset she said, "do you feel different? I mean, you aren't acting like your normal self." That was the understatement of the year after what the two had been through and the worst part was that Xena couldn't recall any of it.
"I don't want you to worry about me, Gabrielle. I'm sure I'll feel more normal as the days go on. For now, I want to focus on the present," she said and the bard quirked her mouth sideways. Curiously, she asked, "so, how was it living with me as a teenager?"
Gabrielle scoffed loudly and pat the warrior's back, giving her the signal that she was finished lacing the leather corset. Xena turned around with a smug grin. "Let's just say, I like the older you. But there is one thing that I will miss."
"What's that?"
"Your innocence," the bard said and Xena's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You had no idea how to use a sword. You were so curious about everything and your compassion was so great. You wanted to save the world. Even though I like you the way you are now, I will miss that innocence that I got to witness for a few days."
Xena half smiled at that. She too, had missed her innocent life back in Amphipolis with her mother and brothers. She missed playing with Lyceus and working in her mother's tavern during the day. There were a lot of things she wished she could do over again, but those times had long gone.
Later, they walked from the Amazon camp and into the other nation within the fields of Corinth heading towards the Centaur camps. Hercules and Iolaus were set on finding Argo, but Xena was able to convince them to head home because her horse was too stubborn or spooked to come to a stranger. Argo would come back like she always has before. She also thanked the two friends for their help even though she didn't and couldn't remember what happened to her.
She and Gabrielle walked in the grassy field together. Xena looked at the Centaur camp from afar. Only a few yards away and she felt like she was not going to be welcome there. It had been many years since she betrayed Kaleipus and the rest of the Centaurs. She was friends with them now, that much she knew, but still, she couldn't help but feel so guilty and terrible for what she did more than ten years ago.
Gabrielle sensed Xena's tension and grabbed hold of her arm for comfort. "Caesar came and tried to make the Centaurs submit to him and his army. Me, Hercules and Iolaus left before we could any information out of him."
Xena's eyes darkened and she surely remembered Caesar. It seemed that all her memories of her past and present were still there except for these last few days. "And where is Caesar now?" she asked. Her blood boiled inside her thinking of the arrogant Roman.
The bard didn't want Xena to spiral down into a tunnel of hatred just because of Caesar. "I don't know. I was too busy trying to rescue you from Ares and Hebe." She said and felt Xena's body tighten. "We could...go ask the Centaurs? I'm sure they know what happened."
They waltzed into the Centaur encampment and it looked much different than Gabrielle remembered. She was here yesterday and it looked like nothing like this. The huts were in different areas of the camp and there were far more children here as well as some Amazon women too. The Centaurs seemed to be going on with their daily activities and didn't notice their presence.
Gabrielle felt something awry when they entered the camp. She wagged her finger and stuck close to the warrior. "This wasn't like this yesterday. There were more men here and Romans destroyed some of the huts. This place looks like it hadn't been touched."
Xena raised an eyebrow and walked towards a young Centaur. She tapped his shoulder and turned around while in the middle of a conversation with someone else. "Excuse me, have you seen the Roman army come through here recently?"
The two Centaurs eyed her curiously and both shook their heads. "No Romans here, Xena. If there were we would have seen them."
"Thank you..." Xena walked off and Gabrielle felt even more confused than Xena did right now.
"Xena, I swear. There were Romans here. I was here yesterday!" she began to feel crazy and maybe she was in a different dimension right now, but that couldn't be because Xena wasn't a teenager anymore. None of this made any sense.
"You have to believe me. I was talking to Caesar! Right over there!" she pointed to the village square. "And he was chasing me and you. He and I...he, I –"
"Gabrielle," Xena interrupted, "I believe you."
Her eyes overlooked the large camp. She saw many Centaurs conversing, training and walking together. Everything seemed to be normal here and if Caesar never came here, then perhaps something went wrong when she was absent. If she really was a teenager like Gabrielle said and Ares was behind this chaos, then of course, something else would have had to go wrong.
She heard Gabrielle whispering to herself and sensed frustration in the bard's hushed tone. Turning her head, she saw a group of children, from small to tall, playing with each other. Laughing, smiling and running around the large totem poles in the center of the camp. She smiled watching the children together. The innocence of a child was definitely something to envy. She too, wished she had some of that innocence back in her life like Gabrielle mentioned.
Watching the children play together she heard a familiar voice in another gaggle of children, except these children were older and none were Centaurs. Her eyes immediately darted to the voice and she stepped forward, glaring at a boy with long blonde hair that reminded her of her son. The longer she stared and heard his voice, she was convinced that it was definitely her son.
"Solan?" she said barely above a whisper. Without giving Gabrielle warning she briskly walked over to the group of young boys. She stood afar, but close enough to see that the boys were comparing knives and daggers. Her eyes widened when she saw this boy that looked like Solan, smiling and nodding his head to his friends.
As much as she wanted this moment to be real, she knew it couldn't be. She held Solan in her arms when he died that day, nearly two years ago. She and Gabrielle were both there when it happened. She never got to tell her son how much he really meant to her. It was too late, but now, if this was real, then something must have happened. She hoped she wasn't stuck in another awful place that played tricks on her mind. She didn't sense anything malicious and perhaps Ares was not involved with this, or could he be?
The longer she stared at her son, the less real it felt. "Solan!" a voice from afar alarmed her. She spun around, recognizing that loud voice. Kaleipus, the man she betrayed long ago and whom had died the same day Solan did. He was alive too, but how? She backed away so she could not be seen by Solan and Kaleipus. She felt like she didn't want to exist here and was too nervous and anxious to say anything to them both.
Gabrielle ran up to her friend that was hiding. "Is that Kaleipus?" she asked and Xena didn't respond. "Solan?" she half smiled and glanced over at Xena. She was in a daze and didn't know what to do or what to say. For once, the warrior princess was speechless. "I don't know what is going on but obviously something happened during your little time warp."
Xena didn't even bother to respond, but watched Kaleipus talk with Solan aside from the other boys. He was speaking to him firmly and Solan repeatedly nodded his head, listening to his mentor. She gripped onto one of the carts and broke off a piece of wood. Sheepishly, she looked at Gabrielle and threw the broken wood on the ground.
Gabrielle frowned and rubbed her chin. She did leave part of the story out when she told Xena what happened. "Something did happen that I forgot to mention," she said and had Xena's full attention. Now, she saw the fury in the warrior's eyes.
"What happened?"
"Ares, you and I went into the past in Corinth. We met you...when you were a warlord. I don't know how this happened, but your teenage self met your dark counterpart. We had the Kronos Stone. Actually, Ares had the stone and you stole it from him. You disappeared with the stone and I was sent back to the present."
Xena's eyes widened and she folded her arms. "And you didn't think to mention this to me earlier?"
"It wasn't intentional," Gabrielle scowled. "You went somewhere else and Ares brought you back. I don't know where you went and since you can't remember what happened, I can't ask you. It's pointless now."
Xena's lip quivered and she turned around to see that Solan was gone. So close and yet so far. He was gone from her sight again. "Where did he go?" she ran out from behind the wooden cart, searching for him. She saw Kaleipus exit his hut and ran towards him.
Gabrielle gasped. "Xena! Wait!"
The large Centaur saw Xena approaching and he smirked. "Xena, what are you doing here? I wasn't aware of your arrival."
Neither was I. She steadied her heavy breathing. "Solan. Is he here?" she asked anxiously.
He nodded and thumbed to the hut behind him. "He's inside." He noticed the worried look on her face and knew something was not right with her. "Are you alright?"
She snapped her head around and wiped her brow and adjusted her bodice. "Yes, yes I'm fine." She kept eyeing the hut behind Kaleipus. "Can I see him?"
Kaleipus smiled, "of course but I'm afraid that your visit will have to be short. I am taking him hunting with a few of the other Centaurs."
Xena nodded and tried to remain calm. Unconsciously she smiled while eyeing the hut. So close, yet so far. She brushed past the tall Centaur and braced herself before entering the hut.
Gabrielle stood by the cart, watching Xena enter the hut after speaking with Kaleipus. She was just as confused as Xena was and couldn't wrap her head around it all. She remembered Solan dying and her own daughter, Hope. She remembered that horrible day and it was as if it never happened.
"Can't figure it out can you?" Ares appeared behind her.
She spun around with malice in her eyes. "Ares!" she whipped out her Sais, ready to attack. He smirked and backed away.
"Relax, Gabrielle. I didn't come here to antagonize you. Although, it would be very entertaining."
"Haven't you had enough entertainment for today?" she grimaced and lowered her Sais. "What is going on?"
He let out a deep exhale. "Little Xena made a trip down memory lane with the Kronos Stone before I brought her back to the present. She tried to save her precious son one last time. Amazing that even as a young brat, she had such compassion for a son she hadn't even birthed yet. Imagine that?" he chuckled and rubbed his bearded chin.
"What are you saying? That she saved him?"
"Well, he's alive, isn't he?" Ares winked then disappeared.
Gabrielle huffed and turned around, gawking at the hut that Xena and her son were in. If only Xena could remember what happened. Ares was no help with his riddles, as usual. She didn't expect anything less from the God of War.
Xena sneaked inside the hut and looked at Solan sitting on a large rug, sharpening a short sword. He was completely focused and she hated to interrupt him. She stepped inside and let the curtain behind her fall. She thought she'd never see Solan again and now that he was here right in front of her, she didn't know what to say. He was supposed to be dead and if this was some awful trick then she would find the person responsible.
Solan lifted his eyes, feeling a presence near. He beamed and set the sharpening stone aside. "Xena!" he rose to his feet and came up to her. He wrapped his lanky arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. Xena smiled softly and for a brief moment, she had to convince herself that this moment was in fact, very real. She embraced him warmly and squeezed his slender body against hers.
She didn't want to let go but knew she had to. Solan pulled away from her and she kept staring into his big blue eyes. He was so excited to see her and she was hesitant to show such affection towards him in case this was a dream.
"I didn't know you were here! When did you get here?" he asked. She kept staring at him and he lifted an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" he asked and she nodded. "Did Gabrielle come too?" he was anxious to leave the hut and she grabbed his shoulders.
He was so different from the last time she came here. He was taller, almost as tall as she was. His voice was deeper and another year older. Tempted to reach out and touch his cheek, though she refrained from doing so.
"I just came in awhile ago. I wanted...to see you," she finally spoke. He kept smiling and bobbed his head.
"I'm glad you came. You should have told me that you were coming. I have to go hunting with Kaleipus and the others soon."
She frowned in disappointment and he went back to the rug to grab his hunting gear. She just got here and he was about to leave her side again. "Well, what if I came with you?" she suggested.
He slung the bow over his shoulder and smirked. "Really?"
"Really. I can ask Kaleipus if it's alright that I go with you," she said and he eyed her curiously. "That is...if you want me to come?"
"Of course I want you to come! You can teach me how to use my new sword." He pulled out his short sword, admiring it with pride in his eyes. "It's not as big as yours," he jested and she smiled. "It's good for hunting rabbits and other small animals. I learned how to use a bow last year. I could show you during the hunt if you want?"
She nodded. "Sure, I'd love to see."
"Great! Let me tell Kaleipus that you're coming with us!" he ran past her and exited the hut.
She emerged from the hut and saw Gabrielle briefly talk to Solan before he ran off to talk to Kaleipus. The bard had a big smile on her face and noticed Xena standing by herself. "So, he's really here," Gabrielle said and Xena lowered her eyes. "I hear we're going on a hunt?"
"You don't have to come if you don't want to, Gabrielle." Xena said eyeing the concerned bard.
"No, no. I want to go with you two," Gabrielle answered and sighed. "Are you...going to tell him?"
Xena looked at her son talking with Kaleipus, or more like begging. "I don't know. Maybe in the future, but not today."
Gabrielle nodded. "I'm going to see if I can help Solan convince Kaleipus to let us accompany them. Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, Gabrielle, really." Xena smiled and the bard half smiled then ran off, waving her hand at the group of Centaurs.
"You're welcome," Ares appeared leaning on a large totem pole. Xena grimaced.
"What are you talking about?" she hissed.
His eyes glanced over at Xena's son standing beside Gabrielle. "You really don't remember what happened to you, do you?"
Silence.
"I'll have to give my sister a lecture later." He sighed and kicked himself off the totem pole. "I saved your son for you like you asked."
She scoffed, "I did no such thing." She crossed her arms.
"But you did. When you trapped in that scrawny body of yours. You begged me to save Solan for you and you promised yourself to me," he inched closer to her and her body became frigid. "I'm telling the truth, Xena."
She turned and looked in his eyes. For once, she saw sincerity. Glancing over at her son she saw him waving at her. It was obvious that Ares was not visible to the mortal eye. "You did that for me?" she questioned and he averted his gaze as if embarrassed. "Why?"
"If you have to ask then you really are dense, Xena," he said then vanished.
"Xena!" Solan called out and she turned at his voice. He ran up to her breathlessly with a big grin plastered on his face. "Kaleipus says it's alright that you come with us. Are you ready to go?"
She couldn't help but think of what Ares said to her. She didn't know if he was telling the truth and she didn't know what happened to her these last few days. But whatever occurred here obviously altered time and she didn't want to give that up and never see her son again. One day, she would find out the truth and hopefully remember what happened to her.
"Yes, I'm ready," she grinned and he grabbed her hand, hurrying her along.