Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 

All of Me

“This is for your own good, Hummel…” He whispered to himself in a breathy voice as he stared up at the doors of the all-boys prep school, Dalton Academy. “You’ll be safer here, just be confident, and everything should pass over unnoticed…” He once again reassured himself, clutching at his tote bag strap that was slung over his shoulder, taking a much needed and calming breath as he pushed his way into the front doors, glancing around.

He had been here once before with his father to discuss his transfer with the school’s head master, so it wasn’t like he had never seen the school before…

“I don’t think I can accept your… your son, Mr. Hummel.”

“Dalton is my only option right now, with the zero tolerance policy for bullies; no other school in the county has that. Please, I’m begging you… I need to keep my boy safe.”

He shook the memories of his first visit to the school out of his head, once again taking a breath as he put a smile on his face, heading in the direction of the head master’s office, his eyes still wondering over all of the fixtures inside of the building as he headed down a familiar flight of stairs. The walls were a creamy white color, and he could have sworn that if he stood against the walls nude, no one would notice him because of his pale skin complexion. It was an odd thought though, and he shrugged it away. He distracted his brain of the weird thoughts by admiring the beauty of the large glass dome above his head, iron rods poking out in an almost flower like and complex pattern, and the shiny grey of the spiral stair case that lead down to a small room, that room branching out to halls that contained all of the classrooms.

It was when he got halfway down the steps though, that he realized he had no idea where he was headed.

Letting out an exasperated sigh as he let his eyes wonder to try and remind himself of where to go, he eventually gave in, stopping one of the boys that was walking down the steps himself.

“Excuse me? Uhm, hi. Can I ask you a question? I’m new here.” He asked with a slight hesitance as he reached out to gently tap a passing boy on the shoulder, getting his attention and causing him to turn around with an obvious look of curiosity.

“My name’s Blaine.” The boy introduced with a friendly smile, reaching a hand out to offer in a hand shake. Kurt had to fight down the blush he felt trying to form on his cheeks as he realized exactly how handsome this boy, Blaine, actually was.

His hair was a dark brown, in contrast to his own lighter shade of brown hair, and was slicked back. It was easy to tell that the boy must have been slicking back a large mass of curls by the slight wavy texture. His bright hazel eyes glinted with a happiness that Kurt figured must have been there all the time, since already Kurt could tell that Blaine seemed to be a very positive person. His skin was absolutely smooth and blemish free, and once again in contrast to Kurt’s own features, quite tanned. He was also quite short and had quite a pair of eyebrows, but Kurt figured he could look past that.

He tried to hold back a smile that threatened to spread awkwardly across his face at the thoughts as he stared down at Blaine, his mind soon rushing back into reality. He had to introduce himself. He moved his mouth in an attempt to form some sort of intelligent response, but to keep from embarrassing himself past the staring, he settled for keeping it simple. “Kurt..” He replied as he took his hand to shake it, his voice sounding high pitched and flustered like it always did when he was nervous. Why was he nervous? “So, do you think you could help me? I’m trying to find the head master’s office so I can get my rooming info and my schedule. I’ve just gotten a little lost on the way…”

“Oh… Yeah, of course.” Blaine nodded and flashed him another friendly smile and then, much to Kurt’s surprise, reached out to grab his hand. Kurt couldn’t help the flare up of his cheeks this time as Blaine began to pull him down the last few steps. “Come on, I know a short cut.” That’s how he found himself being led down a short and unpopulated hallway, his delicate hand clasped inside of Blaine’s stronger one. It was strange; he’d never had someone be so forward with him about physical contact at his old school. In fact, most of the male population shied away from him when he came within a three foot radius of them. It was a strange change indeed, but definitely not unwelcomed.

Blaine led him down a few more hallways that were now starting to look familiar to him, and soon stopped in front of a wooden office door, the words “Head Master Nicholas” written out on a plaque attached to the door.

Turning to face Kurt, that friendly and simply wonderful smile was already in place on Blaine’s face, his arms crossed comfortably over his chest. “Welp, here you go. Hopefully I’ll see you around, you seem nice, Kurt. I’d love to stay to show you around to your classes, but I have to head to Warblers practice to make it to, so I’ll see you around-.”

“Warblers?”

“Yes?”

“That’s the show choir here, right?” Kurt questioned curiously, although he knew it was true. When he was in the New Directions in McKinley, they were going to be one of their next competitors at sectionals, along with the Hipsters.

“Oh, yeah, it is. The Warblers, and I’m not trying to toot my own whistle here, are pretty awesome.” Blaine replied cheerfully once the slight confusion at the sudden questioning of the Warblers had worn off. “The Warblers are like rock stars.”

‘So their glee club was actually cool?’ he thought to himself, his lips pressed together in a thin line as he thought. As much as it killed him to betray the New Directions…

“Can I maybe… Well- I’d like to audition. Can transfers do that? I have recommendations from McKinley if I need any; I was a part of the New Directions there.” He stuttered nervously as he requested an audition, biting down at his lip for actually sounding so nervous. ‘Breathe Hummel. If you get so flustered around every attractive guy you meet, you’ll get nowhere in life.’

“Oh, you were?” The shorter male questioned with a slight bit of surprise to his voice, but he nodded nonetheless. “I’ll be sure to bring it up with the council, but I’m sure they’d be glad to take you in for an audition. We’re always looking for fresh faces to join the Warblers. And we’ve heard lots of good things about the New Directions, so hopefully that will sweeten the deal for you, having had previous experience.”

Kurt flashed him a smile at that, though whatever he was about to say was cut off when the door in front of him opened, the familiar face of the head master, Mr. Nicholas, standing in the doorway. His face looked momentarily confused as the door swung open, though when his eyes landed on Blaine, it instantly went away. “Ah, hello Mr. Anderson. I thought I heard voices out here. Mr. Hummel, I’ve been expecting you. Please, come in.” He added with a strong accent (Kurt easily placed it as an English accent) as his eyes turned towards Kurt, stepping aside to allow him to come inside.

Mr. Nicholas was a rather tall man, probably around fifty if the wrinkles visible on his face were anything to go by. His hair was in the middle phase of losing its color, being a dark grey color. He wore a suit similar in design to that of the uniforms the boys wore at Dalton, though the blazer was plain and black, and his tie was just red. If Kurt didn’t already know he was his head master, he would’ve guessed he was a lawyer.

Taking a deep breath for the third time that day to cure his nerves, he turned back to Blaine, flashing him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Blaine. See you around?”

“Definitely, and don’t worry so much, you’ll fit right in.” He softly patted his shoulder with his hand, and then he actually winked at him, turning to head off to his rehearsals for the Warblers.

“That Blaine, always such a charmer.” The head master chuckled softly with endearment as he watched the other boy walk into his office, the door shutting behind him before he went around his desk, sitting in his chair. His expression had gone serious though as Kurt sat across from him, resting his bag in his lap.

“So, will I be having a roommate?” Was the first of his questions, nervously adjusting the tie that was tied around his neck. He remembered that being one of the main topics of discussion when he and his father had come in before.

A soft sigh left the elder man’s lips at the question, and he slowly nodded. “Yes. I’ve been thinking it over, and I think I’ve found a boy who would work well as your roommate, despite your… Situation.” Kurt squirmed a bit nervously at the look Mr. Nicholas was giving him, and he figured the sooner he had gotten out of there, the sooner he could relax and get into the school work he would have to do to catch up with that he missed in the beginning of the year. “Well, okay… I’ll just need m-my rooming information, and my schedule, th-then I can go…” He murmured, standing to let the head master know that he meant he wanted them now. So he could leave, now.

“Right…” The older male nodded and picked up two sheets of paper that were laid out on his desk, handing them to Kurt. “Your dorm room is in the west wing of the dormitories, room 23. You may need to ask for help to find your classes the first day.”

Nodding to show he understood, Kurt didn’t stay in the room long to hear anything else Mr. Nicholas had to say, and bolted from the room, heading to the dormitories as he pulled out his cell to call his father.

“Hey, buddy. You ready for me?”

“Yeah dad, you can bring my bags in now. I’m moving in.”

……

Seeing as he had to wear a uniform daily, Kurt thankfully didn’t have to push his father when he came in with two suitcases, one full of pajamas, the other full of casual clothes. Kurt followed behind him with a box in his arms full of other necessities (toiletries, his computer, a lamp, a few books, his skin care products, etc…), carrying the box tightly against his chest.

When he and his father had arrived in the dorm, there was no one inside of it, but it was still obvious that someone lived there by the tousled up bed sheets on one of the beds in the room, and the few posters were hung up on the wall, including some Harry Potter and Star Wars posters.

“I’m rooming with a total geek…” Kurt mumbled to himself after he had finished hanging his clothes in the closet on his half of the room and his father had left so he could settle in, quickly slipping a brown paper bag onto the floor of the closet in the process before shutting the wooden doors. He wasn’t all that picky about who he roomed with, as long as they didn’t smell and had an okay sense of fashion.

He was a bit busy setting up things on the desk on his side of the room that he hadn’t noticed the dorm to his room open, and a pair of hazel eyes fall on him in surprise.

“Kurt?”

Kurt yelped loudly at the sudden voice, nearly dropping his lamp as shot his head around to glance at whoever was in his room, noticing how the other boy seemed just as surprised as he did, and now a little shocked by the high pitched yelling from a few minutes prior.

“I- er, I just… Uhm, sorry.” He mumbled, and his face blushed a bright pink as he set the lamp down, though the bubbly laugh that he heard come from Blaine forced a smile onto his face.

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting you’d be here. I should have guessed though, Mr. Nicholas said I’d be getting a roommate soon.” Blaine smiled at him as he moved to his own half of the room, dropping his school books down onto his messy bed. “I talked to the council by the way. You can audition anytime, perhaps today during lunch?” He questioned, a curious look spreading across his features as he strutted over to Kurt’s half of the room, taking a seat on the edge of the other boy’s bed.

“Oh, that’d be wonderful.” Kurt grinned as he finished putting all of his things away, looking around at his handy work. They had given him his entire first two days here to set up his room and get his things together, and he had finished before lunch on the first day.

A large grin was sent right back at him at the agreement, though his expression turned a bit serious as he glanced over him. “So, you went to McKinley, that’s not that far from here… Why the sudden transfer?”

Kurt’s body stiffened as the memories of McKinley flashed back into his head. While he had so many fond memories there at that school…

Lady face!

The queen freak.

Super homo…

“I just had to get out of there… There was way too much homophobia that I couldn’t stay… It killed me to leave my friends, but… I’m afraid I would’ve gotten hurt, or would have hurt myself, if I’d stayed there any longer.” He mumbled in reply, looking down at his shoes nervously. He knew that while everything he said was true, he was leaving out a major detail. Him and his father had decided to try and keep that hidden for as long as possible though, so he fit in and wasn’t once again out-casted like he was at McKinley.

“Oh…” Blaine nodded, and Kurt noticed a strange look of understanding in his eyes. “I actually transferred here for a similar reason… I was harassed a lot for being open about my sexuality, so I had to get out of there. I ran, I’m sorry you had to do the same.”

“Really?” Kurt gave him a sympathetic look, although he couldn’t help but smile faintly at having someone who understood exactly what he was going through.

Well, maybe not exactly, but close.

“Well, hey, that’s in the past.” Kurt added in a chipper voice, grabbing his iPod off of the desk to quickly flip through the songs he had on his playlist. He found the perfect song to display his talents quite quickly, and glanced back up at Blaine with hopeful blue eyes. “Would you like to lead me to this council so I can do my audition? I have the perfect song, and I’m in the mood to wow some people.”

……

When Kurt was auditioning for the Warblers, he expected there to be the three people that Blaine had told him were on the council, Blaine, and himself in the room. When Blaine showed him into the choir room though, there was an entire room full of judging eyes, and Kurt felt his breath hitch in his throat at everyone staring at him.

“Kurt Hummel?” A voice behind the desk at the front of the room asked, and Kurt nodded his head quickly, setting up his iPod stand on the table where the three men were sitting, his fingers fumbling a bit with his nerves. He had no idea why he was so nervous; maybe it was because he was singing in front of so many new faces, though he guessed the actual reason rather quickly.

‘Calm down, Kurt, breathe. There are plenty of other counter tenors, they won’t immediately start thinking you’re a girl just because of your voice. They’d only start thinking you were a girl if you started stripping… Note to self, do not strip.’

Once he had finally gotten his iPod set up with his selected song on the screen, he glanced back at the three men at the desk, one of them giving him a nod. “You can go whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay…” He nodded and took a deep breath to calm his nerves slightly. His heart was thrumming in his chest, and he had no idea why he was so nervous. He pushed the play button nonetheless, hoping that the soothing beginning to the Evita song he had picked out would help to calm him some, it didn’t really. His eyes darted around the room quickly, and God, he didn’t feel this ill a few minutes ago-.

But then, his blue eyes met with a pair of equally intense hazel eyes, and his heart was beating quickly again, though not with nerves this time. ‘Jeez, Hummel, did you already have a crush on this guy?’ He thought to himself, though when Blaine gave him an encouraging thumbs up, he smiled to himself, feeling his courage build back up in his body. He could do this, he told himself. He could definitely do this.

“It won't be easy, you'll think it strange,

When I try to explain how I feel.

That I still need your love after all that I've done.

You won't believe me.

All you will see is a girl you once knew,

Although she's dressed up to the nines,

At sixes and sevens with you.”

He glanced around the room at all of the faces of the Warblers in the room, their faces lighting up by the pleasant surprise. Kurt’s voice was high pitched, yes, but technically, during his first one and a half years at McKinley, he was a soprano named Kara.

Well, to everyone else he was Kara. He had known since he was younger that he wasn’t like all of the other girls in elementary school, running away from all the boys because he had cooties. Hell, he thought he had cooties. Or in eighth grade, when there was a graduation dance at his middle school, and all of the little girls were worrying over how they were going to do their hair, or what dress they were going to wear, or what boy they were going to take. His little girl self did want to take a boy with her, although the fact that he would have to wear a dress made him feel extremely uncomfortable. A lot of things that the other little girls did that were his age made him feel weird (he did enjoy the fashion though), and it wasn’t until he got into high school that he learned what “transgender” meant. Everything soon fell into place in his head, and he knew then what he wanted. He wanted people to call him Kurt, he wanted to be identified as sir, and grow up to be a loving husband to the man of his dreams (the teenage girl half of his brain still freaked out at the sight of attractive men). He wanted to be, no, he was a man. Maybe a very flamboyant man, but a man nonetheless.

With his head held high and a new burst of confidence at the pleased looks on the other men’s faces, he continued with his song.

“Don't cry for me Argentina,

The truth is I never left you.

All through my wild days,

My mad existence,

I kept my promise,

Don't keep your distance.

Have I said too much?

There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.

But all you have to do is look at me to know, That every word is true.”

As he held out the last note, the room of boys erupted into a wave of hoots and hollers, and many loud applause. The praise caused Kurt’s face to heat up a bright red, even more so when he saw Blaine with as much of a shocked, pleased and amused expression of his own. He then mouthed to him “That was amazing”, and Kurt nodded his head back slightly, bowing before gathering up his things.

As he stuffed his iPod back into his pocket, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder, and glanced behind himself to see who it was. It was one of the council members (he later learned his name was Wes), who had a large grin on his face as he turned to face the rest of the Warblers. “Do we have any objections to Kurt Hummel joining in our choir? If yes, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Kurt glanced around the room, his chest tightening a bit. He had almost expected someone to speak up and say that they thought he was horrible, or even try to call him out on “not being a real man”, like he had so many times before back at McKinley. But, much to his surprise and thankfully pleasure, the room was silent. They had accepted him, and it made it feel like his heart was going to burst from his chest.

He walked back to his room with Blaine, a large grin… And a bird.

He had a feeling he was going to like it here at Dalton.

 

Chapter Text

“Do you know how much we miss you at McKinley?”

“I know, I know, I miss you guys too…”

“It’s nice having these ladies nights at my place. My dads love you guys.”

Even though Kurt wasn’t a biggest fan of the term ladies night since he came out to his friends, he knew that’s exactly what these were. They all slept at one of their houses, ate junky snacks, and watched some sort of romcom or dramatic romance movie. This week it was Rachel’s week, which meant they all crowded onto Rachel’s bed with popcorn, sodas and watched Moulin Rouge for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“So, Kurt.” Mercedes turned to him, pulling his attention from Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend. “What’s it like being surrounded by tons of cute prep school boys?” She questioned with a teasing smile, nudging him softly and causing him to laugh.

“It’s actually really nice… I mean, I feel a little like an outsider there, but they make me feel like I actually belong since they’re all seemingly oblivious to the whole thing. Though, there’s this one guy… Oh my god, I’ve only known him for a few days, but he’s just that amazing. And he’s actually gay, so that’s a plus!” He grinned as he explained how his first week at Dalton went when it came to the students there, and he let out a soft sigh as he thought about Blaine. Blaine with the adorable smile, and drop dead gorgeous voice.

“Ooooh, any pictures of this mystery man?” Rachel asked, suddenly curious as to who he was talking about.

“Uhm…” He hummed as he pulled his cellphone out from where it was tucked in his side, pulling it out to check through his pictures. He found the picture that Wes had taken of them when they were in library studying one day, and Blaine was glancing over his shoulder, trying to help him do his calculus homework. For being younger than him, Blaine was really damn good at math. “Here’s one. Wes, a friend of Blaine’s I met, told me once when it was just the two of us, and I quote, ‘It’s really cute and amusing to watch you fawn over Blaine, I feel like I need to document every time you guys do something cute.’ So far, he wasn’t exaggerating. That one is Blaine, if it wasn’t obvious.” He said, pointing to the guy standing over his shoulder. “According to Wes also though, he’s the most oblivious person in the world when it comes to romance.”

“He’s not the only one, you know?” Mercedes laughing, giving him a knowing look that made him groan.

“Oh god, don’t remind me…”

……

One year ago – Sophomore Year

“Kara!”

“Mercedes!”

“Oh my god!”

“Mercedes, what?!”

“I think Karofsky is totally checking you out!” Mercedes whispered, but still loudly, to the brunette beside her.

Kara sighed, rolling her eyes. “No way, what makes you think he’d be interested in me?” She mumbled, holding her books to her chest.

Kara Elizabeth Hummel looked like most girls. She was lean and busty and curvy, and her dark brown hair usually ran down her back with her bangs pinned off to the side, though that day her hair was done in a French braid that Brittany had done earlier that day. “Your hair is like really soft spaghetti…” She had said, and Kara had figured it was a compliment. Her outfit choice of the day was a bright pink blouse, the first few buttons undone and she had a black scarf wrapped around her neck. She wore a black skirt that came up to her knees, and a black pair of ankle high boots with short heels that clicked softly as she walked beside Mercedes down the hall.

“Who wouldn’t be interested in you girl? You’re drop dead gorgeous!” Mercedes scoffed as if what she had said had personally offended her in some way, and Kara just rolled her eyes again.

“No way…” She mumbled, suddenly feeling really dysphoric.

……

“Well, technically I wasn’t being oblivious, more or less self-doubting.” He shrugged and laid back against the pillows on the bed, the bowl of popcorn rested in his lap since he was in the middle of both girls. “Like, David couldn’t possibly like me if he actually knew what was going on in my head… He’s not my type anyway. Too mean and scary.”

“If I had known that before, I wouldn’t have tried to set you guys up on a date.” Mercedes said in reply, choking back a small laugh when Kurt shot a glare towards her at the memory. “I also wouldn’t have if I had known then that you preferred to be called Kurt.”

……

One year ago – Sophomore year

It was a Sunday afternoon at the Hummel household, and Kara was sitting in the living room with her father, who was watching his recordings of Deadliest Catch. Kara was brushing her fingers through her hair that she had laid over her shoulder, looking at it with a small frown. She loved her hair, of course, but she was thinking it was time to maybe take a small risk, and ask for something different.

“Hey, dad?” She asked suddenly, looking up at him. He turned his attention from the TV, which was on a commercial now, a small smile spreading across his face at his daughter.

“Yeah sweetie? What’s up?” He questioned back, and Kara couldn’t help but smile a bit at the nickname. His father had always called him that, though he used it a lot more often now, ever since her mother passed away.

“Can I call Mercedes over? She owes me a haircut from that time I helped her put highlights in Rachel’s hair, and I could use a trim.” A grin grew on her face when her dad nodded an agreement, and she quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket, calling up Mercedes.

…

“Kara, that’s really short… Are you sure you want to cut that much hair off? It’s got to be almost a foot of hair!” Mercedes protested a bit as they sat in the girl in question’s room, Mercedes gripping a pair of scissors with one hand, and a ponytail full of thick brown hair in the other hand.

“I’m positive Mercedes. Please, you can cut it now… Like I showed you.”

“You mean the snippet of the male model you showed me?”

“The extremely attractive male model I showed you.” She nodded, and held her breath as Mercedes mumbled a hesitant “okay” and reached up with the scissors, cutting the ponytail off.

“No turning back now.” She pointed out as she brushed out what was left of her hair, parting it and looking it over to figure out what she wanted to do next to make it how Kara wanted.

“Good, I don’t plan on turning back now.” She breathed out, though she still felt nervous. She was positive this is what she wanted, though she was still nervous about it. What if it didn’t look good? It would take ages to grow back out at least a little longer. Her back was facing away from the vanity she had pushed up again the wall, so she couldn’t see Mercedes cutting away at her hair. She could only feel it, the feel of the scissors snipping off more and more of her hair, and the feel of Mercedes’ fingers touching and brushing through her hair to get it how she wanted it.

“You’re helping out with the car wash tomorrow, right?” She questioned as she took a moment to stop, looking over the reference image again, trying to commit it to memory. She had been a little nervous about doing it at first, but now that she had started, the look really did look good on Kara. Just goes to show that the girl can pull off any look.

“Of course! The glee club needs the money, so I’m glad to help in any way that I can.” She grinned broadly, knowing that they’d need the money to rent a bus if they were going to get to their next competition.

“Great! Make sure to look smokin’, but are comfortable enough to not sweat like crazy.” Mercedes told her as she knelt down in front of her, looking over her hair to make sure it looked good. She smiled as she brushed the hairs off of her and onto the ground, grabbing the broom to begin sweeping it up. “Thank god your room has hard floors and not carpet. You’re done by the way; if you want anything else touched up, just let me know.”

“Thanks-.” She started, though cut herself off when she turned around and saw her reflection in the vanity mirror, seeing her new haircut. “Wow… I look great…” She said breathlessly, reaching up to run her fingers through her now short hair, a small smile spreading across her lips. “Uhm, Mercedes? Do you think you could show yourself out? I’m gonna hop into the shower and wash all this hair off me… It’s really itchy…” Kara mumbled as she stood up, and Mercedes nodded, watching as her friend walked into the bathroom connected to her bedroom, and left once she finished cleaning up the hairs.

After she took a quick shower, she stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body, going to sit herself down at her vanity. Without her makeup on, with the added haircut, it made her smile wide.

Quickly, she dropped the towel from around her body, standing to head into the bathroom, tearing open the medicine cabinet to search through it quickly. She grabbed the ace bandage she saw on the shelf, wrapping it around her chest haphazardly. She knew this wasn’t the safest way to do this, but she didn’t really have much else to use. She wrapped it tightly around her chest until she was sufficiently flattened before going to her dresser, pulling out an outfit for herself. She pulled out a baggy t-shirt and loose fitting jeans that she kept around for as work clothes, pulling them on herself after a pair of underwear and socks.

Getting up from in front of her dresser, she went to stand in front of her full length mirror, looking over herself and taking a shuttering breath. “I am Kurt Hummel…” He said to himself, looking over his reflection with a sad smile, taking a shallow and shaky breath because of the constriction on his chest. “I am Kurt… Son of Burt and Elizabeth Hummel… I think I like guys who like other guys, and I look handsome as hell… Well, as handsome as I can look with these clothes on.” He said to himself as he looked at his reflection, a small tear running down his face. “Yeah, I’m Kurt… I’m Kurt to myself, and probably about it…”

“…Kara?” A voice came from behind him, and he took in a choked gasp, turning around to look over his shoulder, seeing his father standing there with a bit of a confused expression on his face. His eyes went wide as he looked down over himself, and he sniffled loudly, reaching up to wipe his eyes from the tears.

“D-dad? W-what are you… How much of that did you just see?”

“Well, Mercedes said you looked really good with really short hair, so I waited until I heard the shower stop to see how your hair looked, and… Well, I walked in right in the middle of you wrapping your chest up in ace bandages.”

“You saw me naked?!”

“I’ve been seeing you naked for sixteen years, buddy.” Burt sighed as he crossed his arms a bit, but he still had a soft and understanding smile on his face. “So, uhm, Kurt. Do you wanna help me cook tonight, or do you just want to order out?”

A large grin spread over his face when he heard his dad call him Kurt, and he ran over to him to throw his arms around him tightly, his eyes tearing up again. “Thank you…” He whispered into his chest, taking in shallow breaths. God I really need to do some online shopping for binders… He thought to himself as he held onto his father, reaching up to wipe away tears from his face again. “And I want to cook… I found this really good chicken recipe I’ve wanted to try.”

……

“Wait, I thought I was the first person you told?” Mercedes gave Kurt a bit of a look when he finished telling Rachel about the first part of the memory of Mercedes setting him up with David Karofsky, and he glanced over his shoulder at her.

“I never exactly told my dad, he just heard me talking to myself, and he’s called me Kurt ever since… I mean, the first month he’d slip up sometimes, but I don’t really blame him, he got better.”

“So the haircut kind of prompted your whole transgender coming out and stuff?” Rachel questioned, raising a brow at them. “And this supposed date with Karofsky?”

“Pretty much.”

……

One year ago – Sophomore year

“I can’t believe your dad let you have this awesome SUV, Kara. It’s just… Wow.” Mercedes gushed as her and Kurt washed at the car, and he flashed her a small smile, nodding in agreement.

“It was my birthday present this year, I love it! And it’s nice having a mechanic as a dad, especially with a car that would be so expensive to take care of in the shop.” He laughed, cringing internally at how girly of a giggle he had.

“Well, enough about cars. Let’s talk dates.” Mercedes started the new topic, and Kurt flashed a strange look, blinking at her. “You’re still single right?” A nod. “Great! Well, I set you up on a date. With Karofsky.”

At that, Kurt choked on air and stared at her with wide eyes. “W-what?” He questioned, his voice getting high pitched, as it usually did when he was nervous. “Mercedes… I thought I made it very clear, I’m in love with someone else.” He said, glancing over her shoulder at his (at the time) crush, Finn Hudson.

Though, when Mercedes turned around, Rachel was now standing with a wet sponge in hand, she and Finn washing at the same vehicle, and Mercedes gasped, whipping her head around to look at Kurt in shock. “Rachel?” He asked in a loud whisper, but still a whisper.

Kurt’s eyes widened, but he found himself blurting out “Yes, for many years now” nonetheless. Shit, shit, shit, abort! He hissed to himself, biting his lip as he set the sponge down, backing away. “Uhm, I have to… I gotta go.” He turned on his heels and began to run off, though he could hear Mercedes right behind him. Great, now Mercedes thinks I’m a lesbian…

He ran into the halls of the school, to his locker, where he had a can of hair spray. He used that to distract himself until Mercedes got to him, and he glanced over his shoulder.

“You never told me you were a lesbian, Kara… You can tell me these things, you know.” He knew it was coming, but it still felt like a punch to the stomach.

“No, Mercedes… No, I’m not a lesbian. I mean, I’m gay, yes, but not that way…” He choked out, just letting it out, knowing there was no use in hiding it now, or she’d just think he were a lesbian until he told her otherwise.

“Wait… What? Kara, what are you talking about?” Mercedes gave him a confused look, mixed with concern at the fact that her friend looked like he was about to cry.

“I’m transgender, Mercedes.” He blurted out, looking down at her. He had always been a lot taller than his other girl-friends. “I don’t like it when people call me Kara, I don’t like my body, I don’t like how all of the guys I like could date me, but I’d feel guilty using them for my own pleasure. I just want people to know to call me Kurt, to treat me as a man, even if I’d be a very effeminate one…”

“Oh my god, Ka-, Kurt… I’m really sorry, I had no idea…” Mercedes whispered and reached out to soothingly run a hand up and down his arm, trying to calm down his shaky breath. “…You know, I think I have an idea, if you want to come out.”

…

“I’m suddenly feeling really nervous about this idea, Mercedes…”

“Kurt, relax. You’re looking extremely handsome. We’re just lucky my brother said we could borrow some of his clothes, and you both are around the same size.”

The night before, Kurt had slept the night at Mercedes’, and before they had gone to school that day, Kurt and Mercedes made sure as hell that Kurt didn’t look anything like Kara, but Kurt. Loose fitting jeans, the binder Kurt had bought himself online, a plaid shirt and nice shoes. It was all loose fitting enough to hide his natural curves, and with Mercedes’ help, he now found himself sitting in the passenger seat of her car, extremely nervous.

“I’m gonna die, Mercedes… I am going to literally walk onto the campus and just drop dead. I can’t, I changed my mind…” He breathed out, his heart beating erratically in his chest.

“Well, it’s too late to turn back now, Kurt.” Mercedes rolled her eyes and climbed out of her car, walking over to the other side where Kurt was seated, pulling open his door and holding a hand out to him. “So, are you coming or are you gonna sit in my car all day?”

Hesitantly reaching a shaky hand out to her, he grabbed it and pulled himself out of the car, his satchel thrown over his shoulder. It was now or never, and he knew if he didn’t do this now, he never would. So, with his arms linked with Mercedes’, they both strutted through the parking lot and into the school. Kurt could immediately feel the eyes of people who knew who he was on him; curious, disgust, and amusement. He ignored them though, and walked with Mercedes to their first class. They both shared American History first period, so they went there. As Kurt sat down in his desk, he pulled out a piece of paper for the quiz he knew was coming, and he wrote on his paper for the first time ever: Kurt Hummel. And it remained that way ever since.

……

“You know, I’ve never heard the whole story as to why and how you came out… I just remember you coming into school that one day dressed way differently.” Rachel said when Kurt finished explaining to her what exactly had happened that caused him to come out to everyone at school, but then her face deadpanned. “Wait, you pretended to have a lesbian crush on me?”

“It just sort of happened!”

Chapter Text

The day was finally here, sectionals! It had taken him some time to actually learn the routines and catch up with the rest of the group, but he was managing. The private lessons with Blaine in their dorm room definitely helped a lot. He still couldn’t help the nerves though. This was his first time performing on stage with the Warblers, and he just really wanted to do well. To show that he could do it, and that he deserved to be a Warbler as much as Blaine, Wes and David did. He felt a sickening feeling in his stomach, but he pushed through it, and instead ran into a screaming Rachel, yelling for Raisinets.

“Carb loading?” He questioned her as he walked up to her, a mischievous smirk on his face.

“No, we recruited Lauren Zizes to take your place, and she won’t go on unless she has her damn candy!” She practically hissed, causing Kurt to raise his brows a bit. “She’s a… Warm body.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“But anyway, enough about me,” Wow, that’s probably the first time ever that Rachel didn’t want to talk about her own problems. “How are you doing? I feel like it’s been forever since we last spoke. How are you adjusting to Dalton? We don’t need to send over our boys to show those boys a thing or two, do we?”

Letting out a soft laugh, Kurt shook his head and moved to lean up against the snack counter, the leaning taking a bit of the pressure off of his stomach, dulling the ache slightly. “It’s actually going very well. As you can imagine, being surrounded by gorgeous boys nearly twenty four/seven is wonderful, but actually fitting in as one of the boys is even better. I absolutely love it!”

“That’s good, I’m happy for you…” Rachel said with almost a sad smile, reaching to give his arm a gentle squeeze. “We definitely all miss you. That, on top of all of the other drama going on lately, it seems like the New Directions are just falling apart!”

“Oh, what happened this time?”

“Mr. Schuester changed the leads to Ken and Barbie,” Who? “Something is going on between Cohen Chang Chang and Bartie, and I just found out that Finn and Santana had intimate relations!”

“Wait, you didn’t know about that?” He questioned, confused. He thought everyone knew about that. By the look on her face, she obviously had no idea anyone else had even known. He was about to comment on that, when a familiar, firm hand landed on his shoulder, making his heart automatically skip a beat as he broke out into a grin.

“Hey, it’s almost time to get ready, we’ve gotta get warmed up. Meet us in the green room, okay?” Blaine said as he gave his shoulder a soft squeeze, acknowledging Rachel with a nod and a “Hey” before walking off, headed in the direction where a dozen other blazer clad boys were going.

“Thanks again Rachel, be sure to tell everyone I said hello, and give Mercedes and Finn an extra tight hug for me, okay? I mean… When you and Finn are done with your little argument.” He added quickly, seeing the sad look that crossed her face at the mention of his step-brother. Deciding that he had dug himself into enough of a hole for tonight, he quickly straightened up and pulled her into one last tight hug, pecking a tender kiss to her head before running off to join the rest of the group. Though he stopped running quickly, as that only made the ache in his stomach worse. It felt eerily familiar, and he was just praying it wasn’t what he thought it was.

……

It was about half way through warm ups when the inevitable happened, and it took ever emotional fiber of his being to not burst into angry, frustrated tears.

Now, it would be no problem if it was normal for boys to carry around tampons or pads, but sadly, and unfortunately for him at the moment, it was not.

When they finished warming up, he could hear the announcement for the Hipsters to start making their way to the stage. The Warblers performed after the Hipsters.

Fuck. Me.

“Hey, Kurt!” He heard and turned around, smiling a bit as Wes ran up to him, where he was sitting with a hand over his stomach in the green room. “Are you okay? You look paler than normal, which is really saying something.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine…” He nodded, shifting a bit uncomfortably as he slowly stood up, trying to hide the cringe at the wet feeling in his trousers. “I’m just a little nauseous… You know, a bit anxious… I think I just, uhm, need to use the restroom.”

“Oh, well that’s okay. Just please, try to make it back before we go on. It’s almost the Hipsters turn to perform, and we’re after them.” The counsel head said with an understanding smile, reaching to gently pat his shoulder. He probably deals with this sort of thing a lot.

“Okay, thank you, I’ll be back.” He nods, thankful, before turning on heel and nearly running from the room.

“Hey, Kurt, where are you going?” He heard Blaine say as he ran past him.

“Bathroom, be back, sorry!”

……

When he walked into the green room of the New Directions, Kurt felt like he could touch the tension with a knife. Everyone was spread about the room awkwardly, and they all looked up in surprise when he walked in. For a second, it seemed like they had forgotten their problems, because now Kurt was here, and they were happy to see him.

“Kurt!” He heard a few of them exclaim as they stood, and he grinned past his discomfort, allowing some of his friends to hug him before shooing them all away, raising his voice to the room.

“I need all females to please follow me out into the hall, I’m having a crisis!”

And with that, he turned and left the room, waiting for the heeled footsteps behind him. He didn’t have to look to make sure he was being followed though, he knew his girls would always be there for him, whether he was a Warbler or not.

When he finally stopped and turned around, he saw the group of girls that had followed him out, save for Zizes, though he could care less right now if she had followed him.

“Okay, ladies, I could seriously use your help right now. So, as you may know, if you saw one of your boyfriends walking around with a tampon, you’d be very confused. Well, sadly, because of my efforts to try and blend in more soundly with the Warblers, I am very unprepared and I need products. And maybe some Midol, because I really feel like I’m about to vomit right now.” 

When he ended his small speech, nearly all of the girls nodded in understanding, running back to the green room to grab their purses to see what little supplies they had to loan out. Well, all except for Brittany, who stood looking at him, confused.

“Wait, why would Artie have a tampon? I thought guys like you and Artie didn’t need them.” She said in the same soft voice that was just so Brittany, and her naivety made him smile. Brittany thought Kara dropped off the face of the Earth at the same time Kurt started coming around, and Kurt was more than willing to let her believe that.

A moment passed, and suddenly all the girls came running back with their purses in hand, digging around, asking him all sorts of questions.

“Flow?”

“Pad or tampon?”

“I have Advil, is that okay?”

“I have Midol if that’s what you’d prefer.”

“Ladies! Please, let’s not make a scene out of this.” He scolded, grabbing a tampon from Mercedes to stuff into his pocket so it wasn’t seen, and grabbing the Midol pills from Tina, nodding his head. “Tina, I’ll bring you these after the show, okay?” He said, to which she nodded, and he ran off to find the nearest men’s room to take care of his business.

……

Once he had finished taking care of himself and threw away the soiled pair of briefs he was wearing (dancing around commando would definitely be an experience), he made his way backstage, where the Warblers were getting ready to perform. His eyes glanced around, looking for a certain lead Warbler, when said Warbler came up behind him and laid a hand against his back, a friendly smile on his face. “Hey, you feeling any better?” He questioned as his hand gently rubbed his back, sending a small chill through Kurt’s body.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just a little pre-show jitters. The New Directions gave me a little pep talk though, and I’m feeling a lot better.” He lied. He still felt a little nauseous, but the Midol was definitely doing its job, and he felt sufficiently better.

“That’s good, because it’s our turn to go, you ready for this?” He grinned, his enthusiasm contagious, because soon even Kurt was hooting and hollering with Blaine and the rest of the Warblers, the whole group hushing simultaneously as they walked out onto the stage and into their positions.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, from Westerville, Ohio, the Dalton Academy Warblers!”

There was an excited cheer as the curtain lifted, and suddenly the lights were on them, on him, as they all started the rhythmic beginning harmonies to “Hey Soul Sister”, Blaine obviously taking lead.

It was thrilling, being up on stage in a group where every single person in the room, every single audience member, saw him as who he really was, and not just what his genitals or his birth certificate said. It hit him like a ton of bricks, the feeling that no one out there knew, no one out there was judging him, and it almost made him want to cry. Damn, his raging hormones.

He still could help the nagging feeling though, what if people saw right through the blazer, saw through him going to an all-boys school, and just saw him as Kara. They were judging him, and they just knew about him, about his gayness, and about his transness, and he doesn’t think he could handle being called a transvestite anymore-

When he looked out into the audience, panic building up into his stomach, he saw Rachel, watching him with a proud smile. She gave him a face a brought her fingers to her lips, pointing to her grin and mouthing smile to him.

So he did.

He had absolutely nothing to worry about. The only people judging him tonight were judging him and the Warblers for their performance, and the people who did know about him, they supported him. They loved him, and that thought got him through the rest of the performance. The number ended with a standing ovation started by his friends, and he had a wide grin on his face.

……

“And now, the winner of this year’s west-central sectionals… It’s a tie.”

A what?

“Congratulations, you’re both going to regionals!”

The judging ceremony just concluded with a tie, saying that both the Warblers and the New Directions would be going to regionals and Kurt… He had no idea how to feel about that. He supposed he should be happy for his friends, giving them an equal chance as him to compete for nationals, but that also means that he’d have to compete against his friends for nationals.

Still, he watched with a fond smile as Mr. Schue shook hands with Blaine, a congratulatory gesture, but Kurt could recognize the “I’m in this for the long run” look in Mr. Schuester’s eyes. If the Warblers are going to win regionals, Kurt can already tell that it’s not gonna be easy.

……

It’s the next day at Dalton, after their semi-big with at sectionals, and Kurt is still an emotional, hormonal, wreck. And now, his bird is dying.

Okay, maybe not dying, he might just be sick, but Kurt’s pretty sure Pavarotti’s dying, and has been sending urgent SOS texts to Blaine every ten minutes until he finally responds and says he’ll meet him in the commons room.

When he finally gets to the commons room where Kurt is with Pavarotti and asks what’s wrong, Kurt shoots him a concerned look, scooting over to give Blaine some room to sit with him on the couch. “It’s Pavarotti, I think he’s sick. He’s losing his feathers, he won’t eat, he won’t sing, he’s not dying is he Blaine? Please tell me Pavarotti isn’t dying. I couldn’t stand it if he died.”

“No, Kurt, relax, I’m sure he’s fine.” Blaine said in a calming tone, laying a hand on his knee to calm the other boy as he leaned down to inspect the bird. “Oh, he’s just molting, his body needs to shut down a bit so he can grow a new coat of feathers. But other than that, it looks like you’re taking really good care of him.” He smiled up at Kurt, which he returned. “I’ve gotta go, but remember, Warblers rehearsal tonight at five. Regionals here we come!” He said enthusiastically, getting up to walk out of the commons room.

That left Kurt alone with Pavarotti, his beloved bird who wasn’t dying. It felt strange to be this attached to a bird already, but he feels like Pavarotti is almost a symbolic representation of his life. He was a caged bird at McKinley. Here at Dalton though, he was a free bird. Free to express himself, free to be whomever he pleased, without a judging eye.

Well, he was a free bird now, but there was no way in hell he was letting Pavarotti go. Pav is his friend now.

Chapter Text

All of Me – A Very Glee Christmas

God, did Kurt hate studying for semester finals. Especially with history. I mean, who teaches an entire chapter on Charlemagne? Sure, he was King of the Franks, and united most of Western Europe during the early Middle Ages, and laid the foundations for modern France and Germany, but really, he was dead. Who really cared about what happened in the Middle Ages anymore? It’s not like there’s gonna be much else discovered from the Dark Ages… 

He was too busy wallowing in the fact that he still had about twenty five pages left to read before he could go to his dorm to get ready for bed, that he didn’t notice a rather handsome Warbler tiptoe into the room with a boom box. That is, until said boom box was set down heavily on a nearby table, causing Kurt to jump. He smiled though, when he noticed that the sound came from Blaine. 

“You scared me.” He said as he took a breath to calm himself, though his heart was still beating at a million miles a minute. That’s all it ever seemed to do nowadays while he was around Blaine. 

“Well…” Blaine almost mumbled in a soft voice, stepping towards Kurt slowly. “I’m actually Marley’s ghost, and I’ve come back from the grave to tell you that you need to stop studying so hard.” 

“The classes here are hard! Are you willing to take my history final if you’re here to make me stop studying?” 

“No! I have my own finals to study for.” Blaine laughed, leaning against the table, hazels eyes staring at Kurt with an amused smile. “But, if you wouldn’t mind, I need you to help me rehearse a song for a part I got in the King’s Island Christmas Spectacular singing Baby It’s Cold Outside.” 

Kurt nodded his head slowly as he showed his understanding, letting out a quiet “Ah… A personal favorite. Too bad they’d never let us sing it together.” He sighed in disappointment, looking over at Blaine with a dreamy expression on his face. He backtracked immediately when he saw the look of confusion on the others face though, sitting up a bit straighter. ‘Woah, slow it down Hummel.’ “I mean, as two… Artists.” That was probably the worst save in the history of awkward flirting, but Blaine still “Hmmm’ed”, which Kurt took as a win. 

“So, are you gonna help me out here?” 

“Anything to get me to stop reading about Charlemagne.”

“Very good then!” Reaching across the table, Blaine flipped Kurt’s textbook shut (I really hope I’ll remember where I left off, I didn’t save the page), before standing up and walking over to the boom box he had brought in with him, pressing play, the opening notes to Baby It’s Cold Outside filling the room. God, he loved this song. 

He also loved the fact that he was about to sing an extremely intimate duet with Blaine.

Oh god. 

“I really can’t stay” – “Baby it’s cold outside.”
“I’ve got to go away.” – “Baby it’s cold outside.”
“This evening has been.” – “Been hoping that you’d drop in.”
“So very nice.” – “I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice.”

‘I’ll shove my hands in a bucket of ice if it means you’ll hold them.’ Kurt thought as he tried his best to conceal the mad blush forming on his face. God, the flirty faces that Blaine was making while he sang were going to be the death of him. But god, was Blaine an amazing singer. He could probably sing Kurt a rock opera about that one time he punted a puppy across the Grand Canyon and he’s still be captivated by every second of it. 

“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” – “Think of my life long sorrow.”
“At least there will be plenty implied.” – “If you caught pneumonia and died.”
“I really can’t stay.” – “Get over that hold out.”
“Ah, but it’s cold outside.”
“Oh, baby, it’s cold outside.”

When the song ended, Kurt had the largest smile plastered onto his face. It had definitely always been a dream of his to sing a duet with his boyfriend or husband or whatever, and even though Blaine wasn’t either of those things (Yet), it was the closest thing he would have for the time being. He really just wanted to look Blaine straight in the face and say “I love you”, but that’d be a little too sudden, so he settled with “I think you’re ready.” instead. 

“Thanks! Uhm, I have to go, but trust me, you’re way better than that girl’s gonna be.” Blaine said as he stood from the couch, grabbing the boom box on his way out, Mr. Schuester walking in afterwards. 

That’s how he ended up Christmas shopping with his old choir teacher for a gift to get one Sue Sylvester. Sadly, Macy’s was all out of souls, so they just got her a new track suit with fur around the hood. 

……

As nice as it was being surrounded by boys (and Blaine) nearly twenty four seven at Dalton, he had to admit, it was nice to be home, finally out for Christmas break. His dad had given him the biggest hug when he came through the door, and with the pressure of his dad added onto the pressure of his binder, he was fairly certain his dad was going to suffocate him. He’d missed his dad, even Carole and Finn a bit too. It would be his first Christmas with a full family again, and even a brother. 

When he got back home, he fell right back into the swing of things. It was almost like he never left. He’d go out shopping with Rachel and Mercedes, hang out with Finn when Puck and a few of the other guys were over, getting his ass kicked at video games. Yup, it was good to be home. It almost made him not want to go back to Dalton when the break was over. He had missed his family so much, and he missed his friends and the glee club. They were his support group, and he felt sort of lost at Dalton without them. But, he knew he couldn’t go back to McKinley. Not while those jocks were still there. Still, a boy could dream… 

On Christmas morning, not even half past seven yet, Finn burst through Kurt’s door, leaping onto the sleeping heap in the bed, jumping up and down to wake him up. “Dude, wake up! It snowed!” 

Groaning in annoyance, Kurt swatted at the bouncing figure on his bed, still half asleep as he mumbled into his pillow. “Go’way… It snows allthetime in the winter. We live in Ohio…” 

“I’m not leaving until you get your ass out of bed so we can go play in the snow. I’ve always wanted a bro that I could have snowball fights with on Christmas!… Also, mom says we’ve gotta shovel the snow anyway so she can go shopping for last minute dinner supplies, and so Burt can do some quick paperwork at the shop. We’re gonna wait til they get back to open presents.” 

Kurt felt his heart melt a little at the mentioning of snowball fights, and it was enough to get him to sit up, even if it meant sending Finn a death glare. “Fine. Get out so I can change and make myself presentable. I’ll be down in like twenty minutes.” He mumbled, stretching, scratching at his chest and frowning a bit. Mornings were always weird for him, since he was so used to wearing his binder during the day, it was weird to wake up and feel boobs. He could tell it probably made his brother uncomfortable also, if the way he was now sitting stiff on the bed was any indication. Ever since he decided to come out fully at school, Finn had only seen him fully dressed up, so it was probably weird to see his brother with boobs. “Finn.” He said in a stern voice, getting the boy’s attention again. “Out.” 

“Right, right. Sorry bro…” He mumbled, to which Kurt just replied “Whatever.” Before getting up and changing. He put on his heaviest outfit, since he absolutely hated the cold, and wasn’t too fond of snow, but he had to shovel the driveway and apparently have a snowball fight with Finn. 

When he finished dressing, he put on ear muffs, a hat, gloves and a scarf, heading downstairs and into the backyard so he could grab a shovel for himself out of the shed. As he made his way out front, he saw that Finn wasn’t alone, and that Puck was there too with him, the two boys lobbing massive balls of snow at each other. At first Kurt was a little confused, wondering why Puck wasn’t at home with his family on Christmas, until he remembered that Puck was Jewish. His family didn’t even celebrate Christmas. ‘Whatever, more man power shoveling out the driveway.’ He thought to himself, smiling as he watched the boys play. Well, that is, until they spotted he was finally outside and decided to gang up on him. Kurt shrieked and ran away as he was assaulted with snowballs, trying to scoop up snow as he ran and throw it back at the same time. It basically ended up with him landing face first in the snow, snowballs pelting his back until they finally reached him, helping him up and brushing him off. 

“I hate you both…” Kurt mumbled, shivering as he felt the cold wet from the snow soak through his clothes. 

“Nah man, you love us.” Puck said back while rolling his eyes, clapping Kurt hard on the back, causing him to almost fall again. “Sorry man.” 

“It’s fine…” 

“Hey, boys!” He heard his father yell from the door, all three of them turning to look at Burt. “Hurry up with that driveway! The sooner we clean it up, the sooner I can leave. And the sooner I leave, the sooner I can get back so we can open presents.” 

“Okay!” The three called in unison as Burt nodded, turning to head back inside and finish getting ready for work. Finn and Puck both went to the backyard, since neither of them grabbed shovels on their way out, so it was just Kurt left to start the work. He dug the shovel into the snow to scoop up a large shovel full of snow, using all the strength he could to chuck it off the cement, starting a pile off the driveway. He got a good amount done, and Puck and Finn still hadn’t come back yet. “Dammit, stop dicking around in the backyard…” He mumbled to himself, sighing. He had been too busy working that he didn’t hear or notice the figures walking up behind him until it was too late, and he was being pelted with about twenty snowballs at once. 

“Shit!” He yelped in surprise, cowering in on himself and trying to block the snowballs with his shovel, already covered in enough snow. “Guys, this is really undoing the progress I just made on the driveway!” He groaned in frustration, peeking over the shovel to see the people who were throwing the solid balls of frozen water at him. Though it wasn’t Puck and Finn like he thought… No, who it was, it made his blood run cold. 

It was those jocks, smirking, each with a handful of snowballs nestled in their arms. Oh, shit… Even Karofsky was there. Shit shit shit… 

“What, did your own families not even want to spend Christmas with you guys?” He snapped, which probably wasn’t the smartest move on his part, because boy did they look pissed after that comment. 

“What was that, lady boy? We were all going over to Azimio’s for a Christmas lunch and just so happened to spot you out here all by your lonesome.” 

“At least I’m not a disappointment to my family.” 

“We ain’t no tranny like you.” 

“Stop it…” Kurt whined, cowering behind the shovel in his hands, his last line of defense aside from just running back into his house. Though with the way they were surrounding him, that didn’t seem like much of an option. 

“So, Hummel.” Azimio said, a sickening smirk on his face. “You gotta be honest with us, cause I don’t like liars. You a girl or a guy?” 

“I-I’m a guy…” Kurt mumbled, pressed up against the garage door, his body trembling from the cold and out of fear. 

“So, you’re gonna whip your dick out and prove it, or not?” Karofsky decided to speak up, the group of jocks laughing. 

Kurt glared at Karofsky, standing up straight and glaring directly into the other boy’s eyes. He has no idea where this sudden courage came from, but he was getting sick and tired of these guys, and so, taking a deep breath, he rose a brow, tilting his head. “Why do you want to see my dick so badly, David?” 

The look on David’s face after he said that made him immediately regret trying to be courageous. “You know, I usually don’t hit girls. But, since you’re so insistent that you aren’t one…” His face looked blank, but Kurt could see the seething rage in his eyes as he grabbed for one of the snowballs in his hand, the rest of the group following suit, and Kurt braced for the impact. 

For some reason, he expected getting pelted with snowballs would feel like being slushied. It did not. When the first snowball collided with his face, it was almost solid ice, and Kurt yelped loudly in pain, a few others hitting him in various places on his head and body before his reflexes kicked in and he tried to use his hands to cover himself. 

‘This is it. This is how I die. Being pelted to death with snowballs.’ 

“Hey!” A loud voice yelled, and god has Kurt never been happier to hear that voice. “You all better step away from my son before I call the cops!” 

“Shit, run!” He heard one of the jocks say as they all dropped the snowballs they were holding, running off down the driveway, and back the way they came.

Once they were gone, Kurt was left where he was crouched on the ground, cold and covered in snow, feeling a few bruises and a bloody nose. He was so in shock that he didn’t notice his dad coming down to him until he was being lifted into his arms, choking back sobs until he couldn’t anymore, laying his head on his dad’s shoulder and crying softly as he was carried back inside. 

Okay, so maybe going back to Dalton couldn’t come fast enough. 

……

After the whole snowball incident, Kurt was alone inside the house with an icepack to his face and a tissue to his nose, trying to ease the pain of the black eyes and the bloody nose he was now sporting, while Finn and Puck were stuck with the rest of the shoveling duties. Apparently the two had gotten distracted trying to see who could eat the most snow while they went to go get their shovels. 

So now, Kurt was snuggled up on the couch with dry clothes and a blanket, a cup of tea Carole made for him, and he was watching Moulin Rouge on the television. It would be a wonderful way to spend his Christmas morning if it wasn’t for the intense pain he felt in his face. 

He was subconsciously aware of the knock he heard at the door, but his dad yelled that he’d get it, so he stayed on the couch, absorbed into the movie until he heard his dad call to him, “Kurt, are you up for visitors?” 

“Sure, why not?” Kurt called back, shrugging to himself. Most of his friends would probably understand what happened if he explained his whole face issue to them anyway. 

“Okay, come in.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

Oh, shit. Blaine, he couldn’t explain it to. At least not fully. Sitting up straight, he fussed at his drooping hair before he realized it was no use, and that if he wanted to get Blaine as his boyfriend one day, he’d probably see all sides of him eventually anyway. So he just sighed in defeat, leaning back on the couch, glancing up when he heard his classmate come in. 

“Hey, Kurt! Mer- Oh god, Kurt are you okay?!” Kurt could hear the panic in Blaine’s voice immediately, and he smiled reassuringly at the other, nodding. 

“Yes Blaine, I’m fine. I just… Had a little snowball incident.” 

“Was that all it really was?”

Sighing, Kurt shook his head, a sad smile on his face. “No… But it’s Christmas, I’d rather forget about it. What are you doing here anyway?” 

Blaine seemed a bit hesitant to dismiss of the topic so easily, but he let out a sigh anyway and put on a smile, flopping down on the couch beside Kurt, pulling a small box out of his pocket, wrapped in a neat little ribbon, handing it to Kurt. “I wanted to bring you a gift!” 

“Oh, Blaine! That’s so nice… I have a gift for you too, it’s upstairs though, I can go and get it.” He said and set the box down, making to get up, but Blaine stopped him. 

“No, don’t strain yourself. You can give it to me when we get back to school.” Blaine said as he put a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, pushing him back down so he was sitting, putting the box back into his hand. “Just open yours.” 

“Blaine, my legs work fine…” Kurt mumbled, but sighed and sat back down anyway, taking the box and untying the bow, removing the lid so he could look at what was inside. “Oh!” He gasped, smiling widely at what was inside. Inside was a brooch pin in the shape of a golden warbler, with bright blue gem eyes, holding flowers in its beak. “Blaine, this is really beautiful… I hope this didn’t cost too much!” 

“Kurt, cost wasn’t an issue. Just enjoy your gift! Here, let me.” Reaching for the brooch, Blaine lifted it up and grabbed the collar of Kurt’s shirt, pinning it on. “It doesn’t exactly match the outfit you have on now, but I figure with your vast wardrobe you have something it would go with.” He chuckled, Kurt laughing along with him as he pressed the icepack back up to his eye. 

This action didn’t go unnoticed by Blaine, and his smile fell a bit as he glanced from Kurt, to the TV, then back to Kurt. “You know what? I’m gonna stay here and watch the rest of Moulin Rouge with you. I absolutely love this movie.” He said as he wrapped his arm around Kurt and pulled him closer, so his head was lying on his chest, stroking his hand over his hair. “I dunno what happened to you, but I’m gonna be here for you.” 

Kurt blushed a bit as he allowed himself to get comfortable in the hold that Blaine had on him, smiling a bit. For once, he wasn’t worried about Blaine somehow noticing that he wasn’t completely flat chested, or that he was lacking a lot of muscle definition or a noticeable bulge. He was just happy that Blaine was here for him, and that this Christmas was actually starting to look up a little.

 

Chapter Text

Kurt came out, both as trans and as gay (He doesn’t have a death wish, he swears), the previous year, his sophomore year, and ever since he has, his life has been a living hell. Ever since he started to express himself as a man, the way he really felt, the jocks have been giving him hell. Karofsky especially, probably because of the fact that he and David had a date set up by Mercedes before he actually came out and he had to call off the whole thing to save them both the embarrassment. They all keep insisting that he’s not really a guy, he’s just so gay he can’t even think straight. Original. They hardly call him Kurt, they don’t even call him his name in general, unless they’re calling him “Lady Hummel”. Everything they call him is either an insult or a slur. His friends all know this is going on, and he knows they’re trying, but there’s nothing anyone can do apparently. Not even the teachers help him, though he thinks that’s because they just don’t notice. Or they just choose not to notice so they don’t have to get involved. 

The only thing keeping him distracted from all the shit going on in his life right now is the fact that his dad is getting married. Which was a bit of a surprise, since when he first introduced his dad to Carole, Finn’s mom, he was only doing it to get closer to Finn, who didn’t seem all that interested in him, especially after he transitioned the little bit that he did. But even still, he and Finn grew closer, and now they were more like brothers. Which was appropriate, since they were technically about to become step-brothers anyway. His dad and Carole put him in charge of all the wedding plans, since they knew that he could give them a beautiful ceremony on a budget, which he was excited for. He was always looking to challenge himself. 

One day in between classes, Kurt was on his phone, searching the web for the best florist he could find in Lima, when suddenly, his phone was on the ground as a meaty hand slapped it away, and he was being shoved into the lockers. Hissing in pain, Kurt grabbed at his arm. He was beginning to collect quite a big collection of bruises on his shoulders from being pushed around so much. When he heard a familiar laugh that sent a sickening shiver down his spine, he looked over his shoulder to see none other than David Karofsky smirking at him, walking down the hall. At that moment, Kurt snapped. This has been going on long enough. 

“HEY!” Kurt yelled, turning on his heals to chase after him, catching the sight of David’s back as he walked into the boy’s locker room. He still wasn’t allowed in there, but he and his dad were currently working with Figgins about whether or not he could. Right now though, the gender specified locker rooms weren’t his problem, it was the Neanderthal inside of it that was his problem, and it was time they had a little chat. 

“I am talking to you!” Kurt yelled as he walked into the boy’s locker room, immediately spotting Karofsky standing at his gym locker. 

“Girl’s locker room is down the hall.” The jock said dismissively, a clear tone of annoyance in his voice. 

“What is your problem?!” Kurt said angrily, walking into the locker room until he was standing in front of David, cutting him off when he started to speak again. “What are you so afraid of?”

“Besides you sneaking in here to peak at my junk? God, you’re such a fucking freak, Lady Hummel. I can’t believe I almost went out with you.” 

“You can’t believe it?! I can’t believe Mercedes tried setting me up with you! Well guess what David, I don’t dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they’re thirty!” 

“Don’t push me Hummel!” Karofsky slammed his fist into the lockers, looking close to tears. ‘Yeah, don’t push him Hummel!’ Kurt yelled desperately at himself in his head, but he knew he was in too deep already. He couldn’t back down now, or he’ll risk making a fool of himself. Even though David looked like he was about to punch him at any minute. 

“Go ahead, hit me! You’re not hitting a woman! And you can’t hit the gay outta me anymore than I can hit the ignoramus out of you!” He stepped close to David’s face, hoping the intimidation would help get his point across, since he was small and dainty in comparison to the jock in front of him. 

What happened next would scar him for life. 

He wasn’t sure how it happened, but suddenly there was a rough set of lips on his own, calloused fingers holding his face in place, and he was frozen in fear. ‘Oh my god oh my god oh my god.’ He thought as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He couldn’t move, even when Karofsky finally let him go and he stood in place, eyes wide and his mouth hanging open in shock. What? 

“I don’t fucking understand you, Kurt!” David yelled, and Kurt’s sure that that’s the first time he actually used his right name. “You were kinda pretty as a girl, and Mercedes set us up on a date, but then you went and fucking had to become a guy didn’t you?!” He was crying now, Kurt had never seen such a tough guy break down like this. Kurt felt like he was crying too, but he was too afraid to move, to even wipe away the tears. “How come I’m still attracted to you when you’re a god damn man, huh?! Tell me! What did you do to me?!” 

Kurt’s mouth opened and closed, he wanted to say something, anything, or at least just run away, but he couldn’t. He was shocked by everything he was hearing. He did notice Karofsky moving in for another kiss though, and that’s when he got control of his body back, and used all the upper body strength he had to push David away, jumping back at the same time to put as much space between them as possible. “You tell anybody what happened in here… I’ll kill you.” David whispered menacingly, before angrily punching at the lockers with a noise of frustration, pushing his way past Kurt and out of the locker rooms, leaving Kurt there by himself. His breathing was jagged, and he felt like he was about to have a panic attack. He wasn’t a stranger to them since his mom died, though he hadn’t had one in a very long time. He just wanted someone, anyone, to come and tell him he was alright… 

“Kurt?” 

Blaine? 

“Kurt! Kurt, are you okay?” 

Blinking back into reality, Kurt took a shaky breath as he looked around the room he was in. He was laid back in his bed in his dorm room, “Of Mice and Men” haphazardly opened on his lap, and Blaine was lying on his stomach in the bed on the other side of the room. It was just a daydream… Well, a daydream of a memory.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked again, sitting up so he could face Kurt. “We started doing our homework and you just kinda spaced out… You looked a little upset. Is this about whatever happened over winter break?” 

They had been back to school for about a week, and Kurt still hadn’t told Blaine about what happened over the break. He knew that the other boy wanted to know, though he didn’t feel like talking about that. He felt like it was fairly obvious what happened anyway, so he just shook his head because no, it had nothing to do with what happened over winter break anyway. 

“Well then, what’s wrong?” 

Should he tell Blaine what really happened to him? He’d have to leave out a few details, and David did say that if he told anyone what happened between them, he’d kill him… Although, it’s not like Blaine and Karofsky knew each other anyway, and he really needed to get this off his chest…

“Before I transferred here, and I was still at McKinley, you know that I was going through a lot of bullying, right?” He started, and Blaine nodded his head slowly, a face full of concern, but Kurt knew he was listening fully. “Well, the bullying isn’t the reason that I transferred… I could’ve dealt with the bullying, even if I was getting the most out of all my friends for obvious reasons… But, I transferred because I felt my life was in danger…” Taking a deep breath, Kurt looked down at his lap, too scared to look into Blaine’s wide eyes as he continued. “The one guy who was giving me the most hell, one day I just snapped and I went to go confront him… I wanted, no, I needed to know what the hell his problem was. I couldn’t keep living my life scared like that. Things were said, and I thought it was going to end with him punching me, but he… He kissed me. I had never been kissed before, and I’d never been so afraid to be around David… Before he left, he told me if I told anyone what happened, he’d kill me… I eventually had to tell my dad, because he made me tell him when his fatherly instincts told him something was up, and he and my step mom decided they had to send me somewhere else, and that’s how I ended up here…” He mumbled the end softly, not realizing he had teared up until Blaine was standing up, walking over to lie in the bed beside Kurt, wrapping his arms around him in a protective hug. It made him feel warm inside as his heart began to race again, and he leaned into the others embrace, accepting it gladly and closing his eyes. 

“I am really, really sorry that you had to go through that… I wish there was something I could do…” Blaine whispered softly, not wanting to disturb the moment too much. 

Reaching up to wipe away the tears in his eyes, Kurt smiled gratefully, his arm carefully draping across the others stomach, letting himself be held. “You don’t have to do anything… I’m alright now, promise. I’m here now, and I have my McKinley friends, my Dalton friends, and my family standing between me and David now… By the way, Rachel and Mercedes want to go and get coffee tomorrow after school. Do you wanna come?” 

“Sure!” Blaine grinned as he nodded, letting Kurt take as much comfort as he needed from him. “We’ve gotta do it after Warblers practice though. I have a new song I want to try out, I think it’ll be a real show stopper.” 

……

Meeting with Mercedes and Rachel the next day after school, after the Warblers rehearsed a male rendition of “Bills Bills Bills”, Kurt discovered that things at McKinley were no better off than when he left. Which didn’t really surprise him, though he wishes that things were better for everyone there. Everyone thinks that the football team is going to lose the state championship, since they don’t even have enough guys to play. Also apparently the football team joined the glee club, which Kurt is kinda glad he missed out on. He feels bad for his friends, but there’s not much he can do to help. 

“If they figure out a way to make it work, you can bet we’re gonna be there to cheer them on.” 

“Oh totally, Blaine and I love football… Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves.” 

The next day, Kurt finds out via phone call from Finn that the game is back on, and that’s how Kurt ended up with Blaine, Carole and his dad at the football championship between the Titans and… whatever the other team was. He was here mostly for the halftime show. He didn’t see any of the Cheerios, nor did he see any of the glee girls, and he was growing concerned. Where were his girls? Where were the Cheerios? He thought the Titans got more guys? He was about to voice his concerns, when he heard Blaine’s voice from beside him. 

“Oh my god…” 

“What?” Kurt asked, concern in his voice as he turned to look at Blaine, who was pointing out to the field. When he followed his finger to the direction he was pointing, Kurt finally saw what Blaine was pointing at and gasped. “Oh my god! What on earth are they doing?!” 

“What the rest of the football team didn’t have the balls to do.” He heard his father say, and when he turned to look at him, he saw the proud look he had on his face. He couldn’t help but smile at that. His dad was fairly close with the rest of the glee club, between how often they come over and how much Kurt and Finn talk about them, and even if he doesn’t know them well, it’s almost as if he views them as some of his children. Anyone close to his boys were okay in his book.

“God I really hope they know what they’re doing…” Kurt mumbled, bouncing on his toes nervously. “They better not die!” 

“They’re heavily padded with those uniforms on, Kurt. Death is a very unlikely situation.” 

“But still sorta likely?”

“Well…” 

“Blaine!” 

“Kurt, relax! It’s starting anyway.” 

Nodding, Kurt took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the game, watching as it began. As the game progressed, he had a mini heart attack every time a football player’s feet got too close to one of his girl’s heads. Blaine would pipe in every now and again to explain what was going on, since Kurt had no idea how football worked. At one point, even Tina tried running with the ball when people started “fumbling it”, as Blaine told him, and he was so nervous when she was tackled. She wasn’t moving, and Kurt was tense as he waited for Mike and the others to see if she was okay. In the end, they lifted her to her feet, so he assumed she was fine. 

By the time they reached the end of the half, even Blaine didn’t need to tell him that the Titans were losing. 

All he knew now was that the halftime show was next, and from what Finn told him, it should be interesting. 

While they waited for the halftime show to start, he and Blaine sat down on the bleachers, huddling together for warmth in the early January chill. 

“Football is such a cool sport; I don’t know how you’re not into sports.” Blaine said jokingly as he gently nudged Kurt’s shoulder, causing Kurt to laugh softly and shrug his shoulders. 

“I dunno, I mean as fun as it sounds to watch a bunch of physically fit, sweaty men run around, it’s just never been that interesting to me.” Kurt replied back, a playful smirk growing on his face. “Do you wanna know a secret though?” 

“Yes, lay it on me.”

“I used to be the kicker.” 

“No way! I don’t believe you.” 

“It’s true! I helped the Titans win their first game of the season, and that was my first and last football game. After that game is when I finally came out to my dad as gay.” Which wasn’t a lie. He came out to his dad as being trans first, and told him about him being gay later. He didn’t want to overwhelm his dad with too much information at one time. 

“Hmmm…” Blaine hummed softly, giving Kurt a suspicious look. “I still don’t believe you. Prove it.” 

“Ask my dad! He watched me. I told him I was a kicker to cover up for the fact that I was just really gay, so I had Finn help me get onto the team.” 

“Mr. Hummel.” Blaine said as he turned to face Kurt’s dad. No matter now often he’s told Blaine to just call him Burt, he still insists on Mr. Hummel. “Is it true that Kurt was on the football team?” 

“Sure is, sport.” Burt nodded, getting that proud look on his face again as he thought back to that day. “One of the proudest moments of my life, right behind finding out I had a boy and marrying both of my beautiful wives.” He finished, Kurt and Carole both smiling at the man. Kurt because of how sly his father could be. To Blaine, Burt saying “finding out I had a boy” would mean finding out when Kurt was born. Even though the rest of them know what he really means. 

“Okay, okay fine. I believe you now.” Blaine laughed in defeat, putting his hands up in surrender. 

“Told you.” 

Just then, the crowd around them started to cheer again, and when Kurt and Blaine stood up to see what was going on, they were greeted with a field full of zombies. They looked like the glee club and… 

“Is… is that the football team?” Kurt said in utter disbelief, Blaine looking just as surprised. He knew that the football team was forced to join the glee club, but he thought they all quit? 

As the song started, Kurt immediately recognized the mash-up of “Heads Will Roll” and “Thriller”, and Blaine seemed fairly excited by the Michael Jackson selection, dancing along to the music with a grin.

About halfway through the song, Kurt noticed someone running out onto the field, and upon closer inspection, realized it was David. He actually smiled a bit at that, because he knows that going out there and dancing with the rest of them was probably hard for him, especially since it seems like he is really confused about his own sexuality right now. And with how much crap the glee club gets about being “gay”, he’s really glad that Karofsky found the confidence to go out there and perform with everyone else.

Soon enough, the halftime performance ended, and the second half of the game began… With the whole team dressed up as zombies. Well, come to find out, the zombie costumes would come in handy, with everyone in the crowd shouting “BRAINS!” at the top of their lungs. He doesn’t know how, but somehow it helped the team win the game, and the state championship. 

After the game ended, Kurt and Blaine headed down to the locker room, going to congratulate everyone. He knocked on the door to the locker room, his eyes covered as he peeked his head inside. “There aren’t any naked men in here, right?” 

“Not yet, but wouldn’t you love that?” He heard Puck say teasingly, and he uncovered his eyes to glare playfully at him, stepping inside with Blaine following suit. 

“I dunno, Noah, I’d be rather terrified if the first thing I saw when I came in here was my naked brother’s ass.” 

“Dude! Gotta talk about my butt?…” Finn frowned, working on removing the top half of his uniform. 

“Sorry Finn.” Kurt laughed, his hands on his hips. 

“We just came in here to tell you guys before I left to go home for the weekend that you all did really well. Even with the girls, I was really impressed.” Blaine said, Kurt nodding along since he didn’t really know what else to add about the actual game itself. 

“The halftime show was so good! I wish I could’ve been in it, I miss performing with you guys so much, as amazing as the Warblers are.” Kurt sighed, and before he knew it, he was being hugged by five sweaty men, some of them still in their uniforms. It smelled and Kurt felt repulsed, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. These guys were like brothers to him. 

“Okay, this is nice, but please go shower before I vomit.” Kurt eventually said as he pushed himself out of the circle of boys around him, going to stand in front of Blaine with a stupid grin on his face. God had he missed those boys. “You ready to head out?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

The two turn to leave, but before they can make it out, someone stepped in their way, standing in front of them and blocking their way to the entrance. Kurt tensed as he immediately recognized who it was. 

“So, this your butt buddy Lady?” 

“David, please move…” Kurt almost whispered, begging him with his eyes to not say anything else. 

“What’re you scared of, huh?” Karofsky taunted, a slow smirk forming on his face. “Ooh, I get it. He doesn’t know, does he?” 

“Know what?” Blaine rose a brow, glancing back and forth between Kurt and Karofsky. 

“Oh, well-.” 

“Stop!” 

“What’s going on in here?” Came a powerful voice, and Kurt immediately breathed a sigh a relief. “Karofsky, stop harassing Hummel and get your ass in the showers.”

“Yes, coach…” The jock mumbled, glaring at Kurt and Blaine as he walked out of their way, and Kurt immediately grabbed Blaine’s arm, pulling him out into the hallway. Never in his life has he been more grateful for Bieste’s presence. 

“What was that all about?…” Blaine muttered as he and Kurt walked down the hallway, headed out to the parking lot where Blaine’s car and Kurt’s dad were waiting for them. 

“I-it’s nothing, really…” Kurt shook his head dismissively, looking down at his feet. 

“Kurt, you keep telling me that it’s nothing, but that didn’t look like nothing.” Blaine said as he stepped in front of Kurt, stopping them from walking so they could talk. “What are you not telling me that he was trying to?” 

“Blaine, please… Obviously, if I haven’t told you yet, it’s because I’m not ready to tell you… I know it’s something pretty big, but… I-I’ll tell you when the time is right, okay? That time just isn’t now.” Kurt nearly begged with his eyes, pleading for Blaine to not push this any farther. “It already caused enough trouble while I was here; I don’t want that trouble to follow me anywhere else…” 

Standing in silence for a moment, Blaine seemed to be deep in thought before reluctantly sighing, nodding his head. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry for pushing… Let’s go, your dad’s waiting for you.” 

Smiling a bit, Kurt nodded and followed after Blaine, walking the rest of the way to the parking lot in silence. They exchanged a quick good night after Kurt got with his parents, and Blaine got in his car, on his way back to Westerville to spend the weekend with his family, while Kurt waited with his parents so he could go do the same.

Chapter Text

When the awkward month of February started, many other things started as well. The hanging on hearts, red streamers, little Cupids, and anything really that could be considered cheese and obnoxiously corny, that any love struck teenager would give to his or her significant other was put out on display for purchase. It seems that the Lima Bean was no exception, Kurt noticed, as he eyed a stuffed toy of two dogs kissing, a clear look of distaste on his face. The inside of his  favorite coffee shop looks like Cupid decided to come in and throw up all over the place.

Walking over to the little dogs, Kurt picked up the stuffed toys and turned back to Blaine, who had saved their spot in line, his nose wrinkling as he held up the toy. “Okay, I’m all for flare, but these Valentine’s Day decorations are just tacky… I mean, what the hell is this supposed to be?” He mumbled to the other boy, who simply rolled his eyes at him, taking the two smooching dogs away from him.

“It’s clearly puppy love, it’s cute, come on.” Blaine had said plainly, though he smiled down at the little stuffed dogs, toying with them in his hands before handing it back to Kurt, who fumbled it a bit. He must’ve pressed some button on it, because soon there was an annoyingly loud kissing sound, which startled Kurt, followed by a high pitched “I love you!”

Blaine had mumbled “Adorable” while Kurt simply settled for “That’s creepy…”

While he was a hopeless romantic, Kurt never really understood the need for Valentine’s day. It could be because he’s never had a Valentine before, but he thought it was most likely because he’s never really seen the point. To him, if you wanted to declare your love for someone, you shouldn’t have to wait for a random day in February to do it.

“It’s a simple excuse to sell candy and greeting cards on a holiday.” Kurt explained, when he turned and saw that Blaine was giving him a shocked yet still amused look.

The lead Warbler simply shook his head at him. “Not true, people have been celebrating Valentine’s day for centuries. And,” Blaine continued, causing Kurt to look up. “Call me a hopeless romantic, but, it’s my favorite holiday.”

“Really?…”

“I think there’s something really great about a day where you’re encouraged to just, lay it all on the line, and say to somebody… I’m in love with you.”

And God, if Kurt’s heart didn’t just melt at the sound of Blaine’s voice speaking those words. He had heard the other boy sing the word “love” plenty of times, but there was something about hearing him say the words that got to him. Especially since Blaine was looking him dead in the eyes when he said it. Has anyone ever had a heart attack because their heart was beating so hard from being around someone? He wouldn’t be surprised if the first person to experience that was him, considering his family’s health record.

He tuned back when Blaine started speaking again, not wanting to miss a moment of what the other had to say.

“So, this year I want to do something really radical, and I need your opinion on this.” He said, and Kurt turned his head up to listen more intently as Blaine took some steadying breaths, bracing himself as he continued. “But, there’s this guy, that I sort of… like, and I’ve only known him for a little while.” Oh, Kurt was growing more interested in this by the second. “But, I wanted to tell him that I think my feelings are changing into something… Deeper.” He emphasized, and Kurt had to hold back a gasp.

‘Oh my god, is Blaine thinking about asking me out for Valentine’s day? Okay, stay cool Hummel, stay cool… It’s impossible to stay cool.’

“So, I have to ask… Do you think it’s too much to sing to somebody on Valentine’s day?”

'NO! God no! Please, sing to me every romantic love song you can think of! I’ll even accept country, just tell me you love me, please.’

But, of course he couldn’t say that. So, he kept his answer simple, trying to not sound as breathless as he felt. “Not at all…” Okay, he failed. But he was excited, and also nervous as hell, that someone like Blaine might consider singing a love song to him! That had definitely never happened before.

There was a beat of silence between the two, before Blaine must have noticed that they were next in line, because he turned around to face the front again, walking up to the counter as the Barista asked, “What can I get for you?”

“Uh, a medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha for this guy, and maybe I can get him to split one of those Cupid cookies.” He stated easily, which caused Kurt to look over at him in surprise.

“You know my coffee order?”

“Of course I do.” Blaine said back, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

When the Barista said their total, Kurt moved to reach into his pocket to pull out his cash, but stopped in his tracks when Blaine spoke up again. “Don’t even bother, dummy, it’s on me.” He said, handing over the cash. He muttered a quick “Keep the change,” before walking off to where they’d be picking up their coffee, though Kurt stayed behind, still a little love struck as he watched Blaine walk off before turning to the Barista behind the counter.

“I do believe I have a new favorite holiday!” He giggled excitedly, a large grin on his face.

……

Ever since that moment he had at the Lima Bean with Blaine, Kurt had to try his damnedest to not act like a love sick puppy every time he was around him. But, according to how often Wes teased him when they were alone, it was pretty damn obvious. Or at least it was obvious to the Asian boy. Blaine, however, wasn’t picking up on it at all. Or if he was, he at least wasn’t saying anything.
But that didn’t matter, because Kurt was fairly certain that Blaine was going to sing to him!

While he was doodling one day in his notebook, a big heart that contained the words “Blaine + Kurt” int he middle, Blaine approached him and told him there was going to be an emergency meeting of the Warblers, and Kurt’s first instinct was to get excited. This was it! Blaine was going to sing to him, a song to declare his love to him in front of all the Warblers, and it would be so romantic that Kurt would probably cry.

Then at the meeting, Blaine said that he wanted to serenade said person off campus. And Kurt was a little confused at first, but he defended the lead Warbler, thinking this would be all the more better in his head. Yes, somewhere other than Dalton’s halls could be even more romantic! Like a park, or a field, or…

The Gap?

“Why the Gap?”

“The guy that I like is a junior manager.”

And oh, did Kurt’s heart just break into a million pieces.

……

The first thing he did when he got out of school that day, since it was a Friday, was ask Rachel and Mercedes for one of their famous girl’s nights. By the tone he heard from Rachel in the background, he could tell that she probably needed it just as much as he had. So, the three of them met up at Rachel’s house later that evening, immediately changed into some comfier clothes and ordered a pizza.

For the first hour that he was there, he may have cried. A lot. For about an hour. His friends just held him and let him cry, because they didn’t know why he was so upset yet, and they also knew his cycle. Kurt was told his vicious hormones came from his mother.

After he had calmed down sufficiently, the three of them finally opened the box of pizza that one of Rachel’s dads had brought in earlier, Mercedes and Kurt taking a piece to eat, Rachel sticking to the popcorn because of her vegan diet. While they ate, Kurt relayed the story of what happened to them, trying not to get emotional again. Kurt Hummel was not the type that cried over a man.

Okay, maybe he was exactly that type.

“I was so devastated…” He mumbled softly as he finished up his story, looking down at his pizza in disappointment.

“Did he ever actually say you two were dating?” Rachel had asked him from where she was seated behind Mercedes, braiding her hair.

“Well, not in so many words…” He started, which made the two girls look back at him.

“Well did he put the moves on?” This time it was Mercedes turn to speak up.

“No.” Kurt said, getting a little defensive. “But, we were always singing duets, and he was always smiling at me…” The looks his friends gave him, both a little sympathetic and pitying, was enough to make Kurt groan to himself. “Oh my god I made up the whole thing in my head didn’t I?” He frowned, his feeling disgusted with himself. How the hell could he be so stupid?

“Listen, we’ve all been there…” Mercedes tried to comfort him, but Kurt was already in too much of a funk. “I know I’ve been there, with you.” She chuckled, and he tried to laugh, he really did, but he couldn’t. There was just one thought haunting him, one thought nagging at the back of his head, and he just couldn’t shake it.

“… Do you think it’s because I’m too girly? That’s why he doesn’t like me?” He whispered, his voice sounding small, and it broke the other girls’ hearts.

“Hey, come on now, you know it’s not like that!” Rachel tried as she dropped Mercedes’ hair, crawling across the bed to lay against him, trying to comfort him.

“But I don’t know! Not really, anyway!” Kurt started, feeling a little worked up again. “I mean, how can I expect a gay man to love me? How can I lie to a man that I’m dating, telling him I’m a man when I’m not, not really anyway. If I ever told him, it would probably turn him off so much that the idea of dating me would just make him laugh!” He couldn’t hold back the tiny sob that escaped his lips after his rant, both of his friends cuddling him and holding him again at that point. “God, why do I have to be this way?… My sexuality already makes life hard, but why does my gender have to make it even harder? Who did I piss off in my past life to deserve this?”

“Kurt, babe, now you listen to me.” Mercedes said, a firm tone to her voice as she turned Kurt’s head towards her so he was looking at her, making sure he was listening. “There is nothing wrong with you. Being gay is completely normal! I mean, just look at Rachel’s dads.” She pointed out, to which Rachel nodded. “And yeah, being trans might not be as common, but it’s still completely normal. You are you, and that’s what makes you special. You’ll find a man who loves you one day, who doesn’t care that you might not be biologically male, but knows that deep down you are a strong and handsome man. That guy might not be Blaine, but you can’t let yourself get down over one little heartbreak.” She finished, all the while stroking his hair soothingly.

Her speech had helped a little bit, as Kurt had stopped crying finally, but he still felt a little sad, he just wanted Blaine to like him.

“Thanks Mercedes… I guess I’ll just hope to God the Warbler Gap Attack doesn’t go as planned…”

……

Kurt might have to start going to Church after the Gap Attack, because God was answering his prayers.

Not only did junior manager Jeremiah look extremely uncomfortable as Blaine serenaded him with a dirty love song, but afterwards, Blaine got turned down and Jeremiah got fired.

Okay, so he felt a little bad for the both of them, but what was Blaine expecting when he burst into song in the middle of the Gap, serenading another boy with “When I Get You Alone” in the middle of Homophobic Ohio.

So, to try and make him feel better, Kurt took the devastated Warbler out for coffee, mostly because he knows how Blaine must be feeling right now. He would know, he’s been there before.

“Ugh, don’t they have anything here that isn’t covered in stupid little hearts?… Gross…” Blaine said, his tone almost resembling that of a small child who wasn’t allowed to have cookies before dinner. It took everything in Kurt not to laugh at how endearing angry Blaine was, because he knew that the other wasn’t happy.

“Well, you’ve certainly changed your tune…” Kurt mumbled instead, his arms crossing over his chest to keep warm, still a little cold from the chill outside. Ohio never seemed to get warm in the winter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever made that big of a fool of myself…” Blaine started, his expression looking very frustrated. “Which is really saying something! Because I’ve performed at theme parks! I just…” The man sighed, and Kurt’s heart broke. He hated seeing him like this. “I just can’t believe I made it all up in my head…”

'Been there, done that…’ Kurt thought, before deciding to actually speak up, very hesitant at first. “Okay, can I ask you something?… Because we’ve always been completely honest with each other… You and I, we hang out, we sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order… Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?” He finished, and the look of obvious confusion on Blaine’s face made Kurt internally groan. Wes was right, Blaine is oblivious.

“What do you mean?…”

“I thought the guy you wanted to ask out on Valentine’s… Was me.” He almost whispered, biting his lip softly as he stared at Blaine, waiting for an answer.

“Why would you think that?”
“You’re not my type.”
“You’re too feminine.”
“You’re not even a man.”

He knew none of those responses would be the one he got, but his mind still beat him up every day for these sorts of things.

He really hoped he wouldn’t get one of those responses from Blaine, at least…

He had fallen silent, and he almost looked uncomfortable. Kurt regretted saying anything now… Sometimes, he just wished he’d keep his mouth shut.

“I really am clueless…”

“So Wes has told me.”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing… Continue?”

“Right… Look, Kurt…” He started, and Kurt really didn’t want to look at him, in case it was something bad, but he just had to look at him, holding his breath as he waited for him to continue speaking. “I don’t know what I’m doing… I pretend like I do, and I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is… I… I’ve never been anyone’s boyfriend.”

Kurt couldn’t help the small smile that spread on his lips at that, and he tilted his head at Blaine. It was almost sort of sweet, thinking about how the other boy had never been with anyone. Though it’s made a little less sweet if you think about the fact that they’re in Ohio, where the gay population is probably less than ten. “Me neither…” He muttered still, hoping that made something click in Blaine’s head. He didn’t care that he was inexperienced, he was inexperienced too! They could have the experience together, and it would be wonderful.

“Let me be really clear about something.” The tone in his voice made Kurt’s smile fall, it being much too serious to prove that his ideals have changed for Kurt’s favor. “I really, really care about you. But, as you and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I’m not very good at romance… I don’t want to screw this up.”

While Kurt was still a little upset that Blaine didn’t see him in a romantic way, he still forced himself to smile and make light of the situation. He just didn’t want to screw anything up with him, that didn’t mean that his chances were gone forever. He still had a chance.

“So, it’s just like When Harry Met Sally.” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. “But I get to play Meg Ryan.”

“Deal… Don’t they, uh, get together in the end?”

“Could I get a nonfat mocha and a medium drip for my friend, Billy Crystal.” He dismissed the others question, choosing to instead walk up to the counter to order their coffees. He was intending to pay this go around, since he was trying to cheer Blaine up today.

“You know my coffee order.” Blaine said, as more of a statement than a question.

Kurt was about to answer, until an idea struck him, and he turned to Blaine with his brows risen. “You know, I think I have an idea of what we can do on Valentine’s day.”

……

It was late evening at Dalton Academy, finally Valentine’s day, and most of the student body was either out with their dates, or they were in their dorms studying. The only exception to that were the Warblers, who were in the choir room, going over a couple of their harmonies to rehearse the song before they had to leave to go to Breadstix. It was Kurt’s idea to have a performance there for all the singles in Lima, calling it “The Lonely Hearts Club”.

The only problem was, Kurt wasn’t down yet, and Blaine was growing increasingly worried, as it was almost time to leave. He couldn’t leave the rehearsal to go and check up on him though, since he was the one put in charge for the day. So, while the Warblers were discussing as a group what they could to to perfect a part in “Silly Love Songs” that they were having a problem with, Blaine pulled Wes aside.

“What’s up man?” Wes asked him, raising a brow at their lead Warbler.

“Can you please go check on Kurt? I think he’s still in our room, and I’m getting a little worried. He said he’d be down in a few minutes. But that was when he got out of the shower probably about an hour ago.” Blaine said, biting his lip. He couldn’t help but feel concerned that something had happened to Kurt. He really cared about the boy, and he didn’t want him hurt.

So, Wes nodded his head, turning to go and check on his best friend’s roommate. It didn’t take him long to get to the two’s dorm, and thankfully the door was unlocked, so he let himself in.

What he didn’t expect to see as he walked in, was a body squirming around, struggling to get into a tight looking tank top, and a rather large pair of breasts staring right back at him.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” Wes gasped as he covered his eyes, causing Kurt to let out a surprised shriek, trying to contort his body to cover his breasts, but he was stuck in his binder, so he remained exposed.

“Oh my god, Wes! Hasn’t anyone ever told you about knocking?!” He yelled, turning his back to the other boy to try and hide himself a little more. “Close the door!”

“I’m sorry!” He defended himself, feeling behind him for the door knob so he could pull the door shut, still in the room with Kurt. “Normally when I walk into a room, the worst I’ve seen is a penis. I’ve never seen another guy’s boobs before… Well, I mean I guess I have, but not like those.”

“Oh my god…” Kurt whimpered, having given up on his struggle to get his binder on, too embarrassed to even move. The position he was in was cutting off circulation to his arms though… “Wes, can you please help me get my binder on?” He asked hesitantly, his voice small and shaky.

“Uhm…” It took the council member a moment to realize what Kurt meant, but when he figured it out, he swallowed thickly, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I- uh… I mean, I guess…” He stuttered as he moved his hands from his eyes. Thankfully, the only thing he saw now was Kurt’s back, so he walked up to him slowly and grabbed the sides of the tank top the other boy had been trying to get on, yanking it until it went down, freeing Kurt’s arms. He took over after that, successfully getting himself secured, taking a deep, trembling breath. He could feel the eyes on the back of his head just as much as he could feel the constriction on his ribs.

“So… What’s the deal with that?” Wes questioned, and Kurt turned slowly, his head hanging low out of shame. From his time here at Dalton, he had learned that boys could gossip just as much as girls can, and now that Wes knew, he’d probably tell everyone, and then Blaine would find out, and his life would be over.

“I… I’m transgender…” He admitted quietly, his voice weak and trembling with emotion, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. When he planned on telling his class mates about his gender identity, it had never gone like this in his head.

“Oh… I mean, I kinda figured that.” Wes shrugged, and Kurt looked up at him in surprise, a little shocked that that was all he had to say.

“You mean… You’re not repulsed by me? Not gonna call me a freak or a fag like everyone else at my old school did when I came out?” He spoke up, his voice full of bitterness as he recalled some of the old slurs that used to get thrown at him. “A transvestite or a lady?”

“What? No! Why the hell would I do something like that? Even if I did want to do that, which I don’t, Dalton has a no bullying policy. I’d get kicked out if I did that.” Wes got defensive, his eyes widening as he stared at Kurt in shock. Had things really been that bad for him at McKinley? “Does Blaine know about this yet?”

“No!” Kurt answered quickly, shaking his head. “No, and he cannot find out about it either. Not until I’m ready to tell him. I really like him Wes, you know that, and I want him to get to know me first, before my physical attributes come into play… Please, Wes, I need you to keep this a secret…” He was practically begging at that point, tears tracking down his face as he did.

“… Who else knows about this?”

“Uh… My family, everyone at McKinley, and the head master. Why?”

“Just so I know… But don’t worry Kurt, I’ll keep it a secret, I promise. Now we need to go downstairs, right after you finish putting your blazer on. Your future husband is concerned for your life.” He joked, hoping to get a laugh out of Kurt.

He did.