Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kai

I heard a song far away—a non-stopping sound that wouldn't let me sleep properly. I circled the bed, recognizing the sound that was interrupting me from sleeping. It was my alarm clock. The night went away so fast. I thought I was going to sleep enough, yet I’d slept for only two hours. Who sleeps the night before the first day of school, anyway? Besides, it was my last year.

I had to use all my willpower; I really wanted to keep sleeping. However, I’m a responsible guy; I like to be on time, and that’s what I was going to do.

The morning at home had nothing special; my mom had left for work earlier in the morning, breakfast was done, and there was some money on the table. My parents were divorced; there were no dramas; I saw my dad from time to time, and we were happy that way.

I ate my breakfast, put on my uniform, and sighed as I left the house. Despite having taken a shower, I was still sleepy. The road to school was around fifteen or twenty minutes away by walk, and I did walk; I wasn’t going to spend my money on the bus.

“Sweety!” I heard someone’s voice near me. I would recognize that voice even if I were half deaf. I was going to turn around, but the voice’s owner didn’t give me the chance by hugging me tightly and so fast that I nearly fell down. “Good morning, sweetheart, did you miss me?” He gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“You nearly killed Kai “ said another voice.

I managed to smile, though I was terrified of facing the ground and saying, "Yes, Aoi. You are so savage sometimes," I added, giving him a kiss back.

“You two are so cute.”

“Kouyou, no comments, please,” said Aoi with a serious voice.

I laughed while starting to walk again. “This is your first day of high school; are you nervous, Kouyou?” I started talking, feeling awake at last.

“I feel normal; Taka will be there, and there’s you. So, I’m not worried about making friends,” explained, reaching for Aoi’s hand, which he took smiling. I pretended not to notice.

You see, Aoi was my boyfriend. But our relationship had to be the biggest scam ever portrayed by two people, why? Well, let’s say my raven haired friend was totally in love with someone else, and if I said I had an impossible love, his case would be even worse. Anyway, he wanted to distract himself from his true feelings, and I helped.

Why did I say yes? First of all, Aoi is one of my best friends, and second, well, I didn’t have anything to lose. I couldn’t fall in love with him; he was too complicated for me, and...

I sighed louder than I wanted to.

“What’s wrong with you?” Aoi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I was just thinking," I answered nonchalantly.

“Thinking makes you ill, Kai," he said, giving me little taps with his finger on my forehead.

“Brother, don’t be rude,” said Kouyou, pouting.

“Don’t tell me what to do in front of my friends,” Aoi showed his tongue to his little brother.

The other made an offended face. “Don’t get mad,” he hugged Kouyou from the waist, “it’s just that we are not at home; I can lose my reputation if someone sees that my little brother is telling me what to do.” Aoi gave him a little kiss on the cheek to calm him down.

Kouyou rolled his eyes “You and your reputation. Really, you worry about it too much,” he said, crossing his arms and letting Aoi lead him by the waist.

The raven-haired boy looked at me and flicked his tongue. I made a face. It was barely Kouyou’s first day of school. He wouldn’t understand the things that happened in our lives; he never could. During summer vacation, Aoi warned us about his little brother knowing the activities we liked to perform. A task nearly impossible.

We reached school, and I started to feel nervous about it. Two weeks had passed since the last time I saw him, and I wondered if he ever thought about me during that time. I wished he would. My mind flew to different scenarios where I arrived at school and he kissed me with passion, then asked me to be his boyfriend. I blushed at the thought.

However, my illusions broke as we entered the school’s huge front patio. There he was—the most handsome boy that my eyes had ever seen. He was tanned due to vacations, but that was the only difference about him; his incredible blond hair was perfectly combed, his well exercised arms were marked even if he was wearing a lame school uniform, and of course, the band across his nose. Someone should write in the dictionary that Akira Suzuki is a synonym for perfection.

We went straight to where he was: on a large bench beneath an enormous tree, beside the biggest building in school. He was alone, playing with his phone.

“I almost didn’t catch you there,” said Aoi, still holding his brother’s hand.

“Really? I’ve been here waiting for you for almost ten minutes,” he complained, raising his voice. His sight went immediately to Kouyou: "Look what we have here; I almost forgot this was your first day. Aoi, you better be careful; your brother looks gorgeous," he smiled, and I felt my heart sink.

“Don’t even think about it, Reita,” warned Aoi, calling him by his nickname.

The blond smirked “I don’t say it because of me,” he played the innocent face. “But you know damn well, some will want to approach him, and if they know he is your brother, he will get the attention,” he stood up, taking his backpack. “Hi, Kai,” he finally said, like he had just noticed me.

While Aoi and him were having a disagreement about something I didn't understand, I made a gesture with my hand and immediately felt foolish. Kouyou was looking everywhere with curiosity, and I stood silent.

I wish I could say that Reita and I were best friends or something, but that wasn't the case.

He saw me as his best friend’s boyfriend, another member of the team, and a very forgettable friend. Ironically, despite being a member of the most well-liked group at school, I wasn't able to impress the boy I liked. And yes, who thought falling in love with the most beautiful, handsome, popular, and talented boy in school was a good idea? I was kind of stupid.

And of course, there was this thing.

"Taka!” Kouyou screamed, finally letting Aoi go.

Takanori Matsumoto was a short boy with his hair dyed cherry red. The worst thing that ever happened to me. He was Kouyou’s best friend and Reita’s boyfriend. The two of them met two months earlier thanks to Aoi, and they almost immediately started a relationship; they actually looked in love.

The cherry-red-haired boy arrived and hugged Kouyou happily; Aoi sighed, and Reita complained. “You should say hi to your boyfriend like that, Ruki,” he said.

Takanori smiled, but Kouyou seemed confused: “Ruki? He gave you a nickname. You too?” Asked, offended.

“Two days ago," he answered, approaching Reita and rubbing his lips against the blond’s softly. I tried to ignore it by looking the other way, trying to stop my heart from beating too damn fast.

Jealousy growing in my stomach while they hugged—that was a terrible feeling; I wanted so badly to be in Ruki’s place. I deserved to be in his arms; I've loved him since the first day, two years ago. I was there for him from the beginning, even if he didn’t notice. The only one who could make him happy was me. Why was he with someone else? It was a mystery to me, and I didn’t know how to make him notice me.

“I want a nickname” Kouyou’s voice interrupted all thoughts.

“You have to earn it; I already told you that." Reita hugged Ruki from behind.

Aoi crossed his arms “And what did Ruki do?” asked, disbelieving Reita’s words.

“He is my boyfriend," he answered simply, like it was obvious, and kissed him again.

“So, I have to be in a relationship with one of you?” Kouyou said, he was annoyed, but his brother went pale at the same time the bell rang.

“Nonsense, don’t ever say that,” said Aoi, angry.

Ruki took Kouyou by the wrist “Calm yourself down, Aoi; let’s go. I don’t want to be late to class," he said, trying to pull him to the building.

But Aoi stopped them.

“During breaks we’re at the back, in the garden, beneath the other tree that looks like this one," he pointed above us and caressed his brother's hair.

Kouyou nodded, smiling, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Ruki and him got lost in the wave of students arriving for class.

We walked to our classroom, and Reita was grimacing, saying, “You act like if you were your brother’s boyfriend." He teased, “Say something, Kai; it’s your territory we’re talking about.” He gave me two pats on my back.

I nodded stupidly, and my face felt like it was going to explode due to the intense heat Reita provoked in me.

“Don’t be an idiot, Reita, and leave my boyfriend alone.” Aoi held my hand, dragging me away. I could have killed him in that moment; the only person who knew about my feelings for Reita was Aoi, and yet he acted all possessive around me. I was going to kill him later.

We entered the classroom; it was almost full. We didn’t say hi to anyone; they waved at us or tried to talk to us. I sat on the second last desk, with Aoi next to me—one desk for two students. Reita sat on the last one, and I fixed my sight on the door. Even if the bell had rung, the teacher was not there yet, so there was plenty of time for another of our friends to arrive. A minute later, an auburn boy with big eyes entered, breathing heavily.

The boy looked at the desk and sighed, noticing there was no one there yet to give him a retard. He waved to some and walked quickly to sit next to Reita.

“I almost don’t make it," he said, trying to breathe better; finally, he crossed his arms over the desk and lay down on it, closing his eyes.

Aoi and I were totally backing the blackboard; we looked at each other confused. "Why were you late after all, Shou?” I asked.

Shou raised his head with a big smile on his face. “I was getting out of the house when suddenly a guy came by.” Reita and Aoi were going to say something, but Shou made gestures to let him finish, “The point is, the guy was a messenger with a delivery. Guess what it was.” His big eyes were shining. "Computer," he said slowly, without letting anyone guess.

“At last?” Asked Reita with excitement, while Shou nodded even more excited.

“My baby will run soon,” he said, leaning back in the chair, satisfied.

“Assuming you find a mechanic who can properly install it," Reita said.

Aoi frowned. “I can do it," he said angrily.

Shou sighed. “Aoi, if I had to change it, it was because of you in the first place. Take it, you are an amazing race driver, but as a mechanic, you suck.”

“I can do it.” I said that before Aoi could reply.

“Good point, it has to do with the electrical system,” answered the auburn, “even though we need a mechanic. Don’t get offended, Kai, but..."

“The engine’s not the same, don’t worry; I understand,” I answered calmly.

Shou changed his face; he looked bitter all of a sudden. “If we don’t have a mechanic, we cannot beat those idiots.”

“Last time, we won,” Aoi replied.

Reita crossed his arms. “Yeah, thanks to Kai," I said, my face turning red. “And that was a month ago.” He closed his eyes. “Shou is right, we need our own mechanic.” He didn’t open them back; he was thinking about something.

“No pro will enter; he will charge us, and we will spend too much. More than we already do,” Shou sighed without much hope. We used to have the same conversation over and over again, and it came to the same conclusion every time: nothing.

“I know about someone,” said Reita, finally opening his eyes and looking at Aoi firmly.

The raven opened his eyes with surprise, understanding what the blond was trying to say. "No" was said without giving much space for further conversation. “I won’t get him involved.” His eyes were so serious, it almost made me scared.

Reita changed his eyes to his beseeching eyes. “C’mon, he is great. You know it, I know it, and everyone else knows it.”

“He is,” he turned his back on the blond, looking at the blackboard. “But it doesn’t matter; we need to find someone else.” He didn’t reply to anything else.

“Who are you talking about?” Shou asked, but the question remained unanswered as the teacher stepped into the classroom.

I turned around and looked at Aoi quickly, almost certain he was thinking about what Reita had said. The blond was right; I was a witness myself of how Kouyou was a genius with any car engine; for someone so young, he was an expert. On the other hand, I also understood Aoi; the places we went were not the best places for an innocent child like Kouyou.

“So?” The teacher asked, but I wasn’t listening. I looked at the entire class; no one seemed to be paying much attention.

“It should be Kai,” I heard, but didn’t believe it. Reita had mentioned me for something, and I couldn’t care less about what it was; I was fascinated by the fact that he said my name out loud. Once more, my face turned red.

“It’s the first time I hear you talking with some sense, Suzuki,” said the teacher. “Does anyone else agree on making Yutaka the class leader?" she said loudly. Aoi raised his hand, and like magic, the whole class followed. “I’m glad to know you all agree, Yutaka, and I hope you will be able to control the gangsters you have as friends.” Her attention was fixed on some papers on the desk.

“Thank you, we love you too,” screamed Aoi, turning again to face Reita and Shou, i did it too.

"Congratulations, Kai! Let’s see if you can control these gangsters,” said Should sarcastically.

Reita leaned on his hand, scribbling on the notebook. “I think Kai is a great leader,” he said, remaining focused on the notebook. “I insist, if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have won last time,” he said. He looked at me for five seconds, then kept scribbling.

I was flying among pink clouds.

-x-

After four long hours, the bell rang, announcing our first break. Thank God. To be honest, I did not pay attention to class; I was busy thinking about Reita, the last time, and how he had said I was a good leader.

We sat beneath our usual tree, and soon after Kouyou and Ruki arrived, the second took place between Reita’s legs. I was right next to Aoi, but he wasn’t paying attention to me; instead, he was worried about Kouyou.

“Nothing important,” answered Ruki to a question Reita asked him in a low voice. “But Kou, being incredibly good at math. Really, it’s quite scary, and...” He remained silent, staring at the fence.

I turned around to look at whatever had caught his attention, noticing immediately what was happening.

There was a boy jumping on the fence; he was trying to pass to the garden. The school lacked good security, but it had a very tall fence; not all people dared to climb it. Nao was a different story.

He jumped and let himself fall onto the grass in a very dramatic move. He joined us limping with his right foot. No, lay down as soon as he was close.

“If you came here on time, you wouldn’t have to jump, you know?” Shou said, staring at his food. Nao complained, making weird noises that became incomprehensible because he was facing the grass.

“You didn’t make it on time, either. Actually, five more minutes, and you would have had to jump as well,” I said. Shou opened his mouth but didn’t say anything back; he just started eating his onigiri. “But, four hours late, seriously?” I continued.

“I couldn’t wake up,” he finally said, crossing his legs. “I wasn’t even going to come," he smiled.

“Why am I not surprised?” Said Reita.

Nao wrinkled his nose. “I have good news; we have a date to ra…

“Nao, have you met my brother?” Aoi interrupted in a fast move. “Kouyou, this is Nao. You haven’t met Ruki either, right?” asked, pointing at the red-haired boy.

Ruki raised an eyebrow and waved shyly, the same as Kouyou. Suddenly the conversation was diverted, and Nao's comment was forgotten, at least during the break.

I guess keeping a secret was harder than it seemed, and that was just the beginning.

Chapter Text

Aoi

The only sound I could hear was bla, bla, bla. Really, I felt like I was going to fall asleep any minute. I kept staring at the clock, but it seemed to be going backwards! I hated school. Everything about it made me sick. I really wanted to drop out, but I promised my parents I’d finish. After that, BYE, ADIÓS, SAYONARA, I was not made for school.

At last the bell rang, ending my eternal suffering. Along with Reita, I was the first to get out of there. Usually I go out for a cigarette, but that year was different, so I decided to go to Kouyou first. A lot of people thought I was overprotecting my brother; maybe that was true, but I preferred it; I’d never be able to live if something happened to him.

“Did you bring your car?” Reita asked as she walked alongside me towards the first-year building.

“No, my dad broke his, and he took mine,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Wanna a ride? I’m driving Ruki as well," he offered.

“Nah, thanks. I walk with my brother and Kai. Besides, I don’t wanna interrupt."

We waited outside the classroom, waiting for Ruki and Kouyou to exit. Ruki got out first, taking Reita’s hand; my brother kept me waiting a little longer, which made me a little desperate. All forgotten by the time I saw him, he made me smile right away, and I felt my heart at peace just by looking at him. Kouyou had that effect on me—he made me forget about everything, good or bad.

We arrived home almost half an hour later, after leaving Kai, but not before he told Kouyou all kinds of embarrassing stories about me. I was going to kill him one of these days. And of course, my little brother was fascinated by them, though not in the way I hoped he would be.

I saw my car parked, which meant that, for some incredible reason, my dad went out earlier from work. I imagined the reason, so I didn’t brag much about it. I sighed while Kouyou, instead of entering the house, went straight to the patio, where my dad’s car was elevated with a hydraulic jack.

My dad owned a used car business, and of course he was a huge automobile fan. He was an automotive engineer, and Kouyou wanted to be just like him. Of course, automobiles were also my passion, but I projected it in a different way.

My brother, for example, was some kind of engineering genius; my father thought him everything since he was five. On the contrary, I was more into driving the car; I loved the sensation of driving at more than a hundred miles per hour. And I knew how it felt very well, although my family would have killed me if they found out.

That was my beautiful little secret.

“You used the breaks like a grandma” I heard Kouyou saying. He was underneath the car, probably fixing something.

My dad smiled with his hands on his waist. “More like a taxi driver,” he said, looking at me and moving his head in greeting. It was obvious that my dad preferred hanging out with Kouyou, and I didn’t blame him; I wasn’t too eager to spend time with him either.

“Kouyou Shiroyama, get out of there, right now!” I heard my mom screaming. My dad loved Kouyou, but my mom was very different. “You’re going to get dirty, and you don’t have to do the laundry, so you could not give a fuck, right?”

"Leave him alone, woman." Dad rolled his eyes. "He’s just checking the car. Should I remind you, it is broken?” They started screaming at each other, while Kouyou stood up, embarrassed.

I approached him, taking his hand and dragging him into the house. I was very used to hearing my parents get into a fight; they were screaming at each other for almost everything, especially if it had to do with his children. My dad was always defending Kouyou, while my mother was on “my side,” though she didn’t like to call it that way because my brother and I were pretty close regardless of their fights.

Dad always said I was some kind of minor offender —not far from the truth — and mom always found something about Kouyou that bothered her. It was like that for as long as I can remember; apparently, my mom wanted a little girl for a second child, but Kouyou was born instead, and she has taken it against him ever since.

"C'mon, Kou, I’m hungry,” I said, entering the house.

“I hate when they fight, even more when it is my fault,” he said with sadness in his voice. His eyes were glued to the floor.

“Yesterday they fought cause I said I wasn’t going to college. ” I caressed his left cheek. “Those two always find something to fight for; don’t let it get to you.”

He looked at me with his beautiful honey eyes and smiled shyly. I smiled back, and his lips brushed mine in a little kiss, a gesture we have done since we were little.

He leaned on my shoulder, letting out a sigh near my neck. "Thanks, Yuu, if it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be crazy by now,” he said, giving me another kiss on my neck. I took him by the waist; his kisses were completely innocent compared to my touch on his hair.

I had a beautiful secret, something that made me feel proud. However, that wasn’t my only secret. My horrible secret, my terrible sin: I loved him; I loved him with all my heart and soul; I wanted to protect him; I wanted to hug him; I wanted to caress him; I wanted to kiss him; I wanted to make him mine; and I knew I shouldn’t and couldn’t. He was my little brother, but a long time ago I stopped looking at him with fraternal eyes.

Everything started three years earlier, when I was fifteen and Kouyou was thirteen. Of course, my hormones were wildly awake; I had a lot of girls and boys after me, but I wasn’t interested in anyone. Until one afternoon, when my little brother sat down to eat dinner wearing only shorts and a shirt.

That wasn’t the first time I saw him wearing something like that, but it was the first time that something inside me became restless, and I couldn’t stop looking at him. For the first time, I noticed how beautiful he was—his fine features, the way his lips curled when he was pouting, his honey eyes. All day, I struggled against the need to taste those lips.

I tried for months to ignore what I was feeling about him; it wasn’t a mere attraction; it was a need to make him happy and be with him; it wasn’t brotherly love; it was more than that. I fell in love with him. Everything about Kouyou drove me crazy; I couldn’t stop thinking about him, but as soon as the realization came, my heart crashed into a million pieces, knowing that my love was not only impossible, it was sinful. Having all those thoughts about him was a curse, one I was willing to take if it meant making Kouyou smile.

A long time had passed since then, and I was totally resigned that it would never be, but the feeling became stronger. And there were times like that that made me feel like maybe he felt the same way. He let me kiss him on the lips, hug him, and sometimes we even slept together. On the other hand, he probably thought it was normal for brothers to do those kinds of things. He was totally innocent about it.

I cupped my hand underneath his uniform shirt, stroking his lower back; his breathing became agitated; it was driving me mad.

“I’m hungry,” he said, sending the moment away. Another proof that Kouyou was only my little brother. As it should be.

I went to the stove where the food was, and Kouyou started taking out the dishes. Knowing my parents, they would keep screaming without eating, and we were hungry, so we didn’t wait.

“So, how was your day?” I asked once we started eating.

He swallowed, "Fine, it wasn’t extraordinary. Teachers introducing themselves, telling us to introduce ourselves, same as always,” he answered, bored, playing a little with the chopsticks. "Although,” he remembered all of a sudden, “there was this guy asking a bunch of questions about you; he was excited that I am your brother.” He raised an eyebrow.

When he asked, "What was his name?" I had no idea who he was referring to.

Kouyou paused, trying to remember. “Tora, he said; it was his nickname. Seriously, I want one," he insisted, while I started panicking.

I knew perfectly well who Tora was—an annoying boy who was trying to enter our team. I’ve never imagined he would be in the same class as my brother; that brat could ruin everything. I lost myself in my thoughts until Mom entered the house, making loud noises; she didn’t look at us and locked herself in her room. I sighed, while Kouyou stood up and looked out the window.

“He’s gone," he said while dad got away in MY car, who knows where.

I hugged him by the waist “Kou, I need you to promise me something.” He looked at me, confused. “I don’t want you talking to Tora, ok?”

“Why?”

“Just do it; that guy shouldn’t be trusted.” I was overreacting, but I needed to keep him away from him if I wanted to keep my secret safe. Later, I would manage Tora.

Kouyou nodded. He trusted me blindly. “On one condition,” he said, moving his eyelashes and looking extremely flirtatious, at least to me. “Kiss me the way I like it,” he said, smiling.

I hated when he asked that. Of course, I loved kissing him, but it was bad. How was I going to get over him like that? How was I ever going to explain that kissing him was bad?

“Kou, I can’t. What if Mom sees us? Remember what happened last time?” I said that, trying not to sound disappointed.

Kouoyu pouted, sending goosebumps all over my body.

“Please, I like the way it feels," he said, his cheeks flushing pink.

Because I was the one who stole his first kiss and the only person to ever kiss him, I felt terrible every time he asked for one. He said I was enough.

I sighed, took his chin, and raised it a little. “I cannot say no to you.” At first, I only met his lips with mine, but almost instantly, the kiss became deeper. Kouyou answered easily. I remember when he had no idea what he was doing; by then he was almost an expert. I traced his lower lip with my tongue, asking for permission, which was granted immediately. I loved his taste in my mouth. Unconsciously, I took him by the waist, dragging him to me. Soon, I would need more; I couldn’t contain myself any longer.

I could make love to him, but that was going too far.

So, I didn’t.

-x-

Dad returned a little after eleven at night. I was in my bedroom doing some homework. It was the first day of school, and teachers were already being annoying. There was no one online, and I couldn’t sleep. Kouyou was already asleep in my bed. I watched him like the idiot I was before my cell phone started to ring. Fortunately, Kouyou slept like a rock, so he didn’t notice.

“What do you want? It's a little late, don’t you think?” I answered Reita.

“What the hell are you talking about? Where the fuck are you?” He said it angrily.

“What are you talking about? I’m at home; where else?"

He grunted. “You weren’t paying attention again, right? The race is today,” he said, struggling not to shout more. I took a moment to think; I didn’t remember when the race was mentioned: “I want you here in twenty Aoi, I’ll send the address to your GPS.”

“Wait, ok, but...”

“Ruki brought the M5, hurry!” He read my mind.

“You let that shorty drive it,” I got angry.

“It’s my father’s car; you should be thankful I let you drive it,” he said and hung up.

I jumped off my seat. I had twenty minutes, and I was certain it would be far. I saw my brother, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and opened my window. I lost count of how many times I did the same, jumped to the nearby tree, and from there to the patio. Who would have thought that the early fight would help me get away? Dad left my Lancer parked in the street, which made everything a lot easier.

I turned it up, and the GPS started working, showing me the address. I started driving, sighing. Don’t get me wrong; I loved my car. It had one of the best engines in the country and could reach incredible speeds if it was modified. Mine wasn’t. So I had to drive the BMW M5 of Reita’s father; I couldn’t complain, and no one can complain about 400 horsepower. However, my Lancer could run faster if it had the proper engine, if only I had the money. More than once, I was tempted to tell Kouyou to modify it, but it meant so many explanations that I preferred not to.

I don’t recall how many red lights I crossed or how many cars had to brake in order to let me pass; it wasn’t the first time, but the police can be pretty annoying. The good news was that I arrived sooner than I expected. I got out quickly looking for Reita; he found me first.

“Dude, i thought you wouldn’t make it,” he said, shaking my shoulders.

“When did you say it was today?” I replied.

“History class,” Shou answered.

“I was asleep in history,” I said. “Wait, Ruki brought the M5? That means he’s here; you told him! And….” I started panicking for the second time that day.

“Calm down; he won’t say anything to Kouyou; I warned him about your paranoia. Besides, why didn't you tell me about his brother?” Reita smiled bitterly.

Shou shook his head; he didn’t know either. My brother and Ruki had been friends for a long time, and although I watched them both grow up, I didn’t get along with Ruki’s older brother.

“Wow, Speed Racer just arrived,” said a voice behind us. “You think you are so important you can’t make it to other races? Be careful, Aoi, do not trust yourself too much; you are not that good,” he grimaced.

I replied coolly, "Kyo, I'm sure you don't trust in your team that much if you have to come and be an asshole."

“Just saying” he wasn’t angry. “One day, Shiroyama, I will beat you and your borrowed car. When you become brave enough to drag,” he was close to me.

“Anytime, maybe you should try with a circuit; surely it’s harder, but I’ll give you an advantage,” I smiled.

Kyo walked away after that.

I sighed, relieved. “I surely cannot stand that guy,” I said while walking to the cars. The M5 and Reita’s yellow Viper.

“I’m sorry, my brother is a good person; he’s just a little competitive,” Ruki apologized.

I was going to say something, but Kai appeared with his tablet. “Leave the drama for later. Listen, Die is running this race, obviously. There are two more guys; nothing to worry about. Now, the circuit is pretty simple except for these three curves “ he tapped the screen “The third, the fourth, and the sixth are troublesome; they come right after going straight, and they are too closed. Just slow down a little, and you will be fine,” he explained. “You have to win or have to be in second; that’s our next week.” I nodded.

Less than two minutes later, I was sitting inside the M5. Feeling the adrenaline’s rush, I loved those moments before a race, with a shiver passing through me from head to toe. Those were the moments you didn’t think about anything else; there was only you and the car, as one. The road was the only place to conquer; everything else didn’t matter. Racing on the circuit was very simple and safe; the streets were already closed, so you needed to end it fast.

Some girl stood in front of the cars. I turned around to see the yellow Corolla next to the M5. Die, its driver, winked at me, and I sent him a kiss. After that, all the cars were behind me. I don’t love to brag about it, but driving was a natural for me; I’d been doing it since I was twelve, when I used to steal my dad’s car and drive around the block.

"Aoi,” I heard Kai in my headphones. “Die is close by your left; don’t speed up; he will try to pass you in the first curve, almost 100 meters ahead,” and that’s what happened; he passed before the first curve. A piece of advice: if you don’t want to kill yourself, don’t ever try to pass a car within a curve, unless you drive like me. I sped up, feeling the car lose control to the left, and turned the wheel to the right, applying the parking brake. I dragged the car towards the straight road, the car turning around 180 degrees in front of the Corolla, then released the brake and started speeding up again. Die had to stop in order to avoid colliding with me. “Stop bragging,” Kai said with an angry tone. “There’s plenty of road ahead,” he warned.

“I don’t brag, it's just that I never lose.” I couldn’t see where the other two cars were; Die was just behind me but couldn’t catch up. Sometimes I got bored of winning; I was always waiting for someone who could actually beat me.

Less than ten minutes after I crossed the finish line, Die was just milliseconds behind me; i didn’t even need to use nitro. I stepped out of the car with a big smile; Kai hugged me by the neck and gave me a little kiss. I always forgot that we were boyfriends.

“Who’s going to race next?” I asked, approaching my friends.

That’s how it worked; we were a team. Reita raced in straight-line drag over a short distance. Shou was a drifting expert; even if he drove a Mustang, a car far too heavy for drifting, he made it look like art. I drove in circuits, which was the hardest, and Nao drove the most dangerous form against the police.

"Me,” Shou answered.

“That means…”

“I’m going against Sakito,” the auburn said, with sadness all over his face.

Chapter Text

Ruki

I was already awake, and I was trying to convince myself to get up for a whole fifteen minutes. I enjoyed going to school, not because of the classes or studies; I liked going out with my friends and hanging out with my boyfriend; they were the only reasons I woke up every morning, but sometimes I was just too lazy to get up.

I heard my door open; I didn’t move, and I knew exactly who had entered. Suddenly, I felt his weight on top of me.

“Kyo, move!” I yelled, trying to move for him to fall.

 “You were already awake; that’s not fair,” he stood up with a smile. My older brother was nothing but subtle.

 “You’re an idiot,” I said, fixing my hair.

 He laughed hard. “Hurry up, breakfast is ready,” he said already by the door. I paced to my bathroom.

 “Are you tired?” He asked, mocking me.

“I’m not used to staying up,” I answered.

“If you want to keep going to the races, you better get used to it, especially if Voldemort wants you to go,” he said.

“Don’t call him that,” I said angrily.

“He has no nose, not my fault.”

Kyo was awesome, funny, took care of me, was very responsible, and achieved great scores at school. The only problem was that he hated Reita and his friends, who were also mine, each one of them except for Kouyou. They were rivals, and there was nothing I could do about it. Sometimes I thought they enjoyed hating each other. It was nothing dangerous, just a silly teen rivalry. Which was fine by me, except when my brother started mocking my boyfriend and vice versa, it made me feel like I was in the middle of World War III.

Kyo laughed.

“You want a ride to school?”

“Sure” I slammed the bathroom door.

Kyo and I lived with our parents, well, actually, we lived alone, and sometimes our parents came to visit between their pleasure travel and their free time. They were never around, not for birthdays, school events, or important dates. Every employee in the house raised us, and Kyo took care of me most of the time. And it was fine with me; I wasn’t some angsty teenager seeking his parents attention; I couldn’t even hate them; I didn’t know them well enough. It was sad, maybe; sometimes I used to think how it would be to have one of those families on TV, but it wasn’t bad either.

After thirty minutes, I entered the kitchen. Kyo was talking on the phone, so he pointed his head towards breakfast. I sat happily, eating peacefully, while listening to my brother’s conversation. When I finished, I brushed my teeth and went for my school bag.

“Hurry up, midget!” Kyo yelled.

“I’m taller than you, c'mon,” I answered, going down. “Besides, we still have time.” Kyo and I studied in separate schools; I chose to study with Kouyou.

"No,” he said, opening the door. "We're picking up someone.” We walked towards the garage; I went straight to the Corvette, but Kyo stopped me. “We’re taking the Escalade, and you’re going in the back.”

“Why?” I pouted. “Oh, we’re going with Toshiya?” I mocked while my brother avoided my eyes.

“Get in,” he said, poking my waist. “Zero comments,” he warned.

Outside Toshiya’s house, Kyo repeated his warning, and I tried really hard not to burst out laughing. He had been in love with Toshiya for as long as I could remember, but he had never dared tell him anything; for me, it was absurd. Kyo was the bravest person I knew, and yet he couldn’t talk about his feelings with a person who had been his friend since elementary school. We were very different that way; the moment I realized I had a crush on Reita, I told him, and he answered immediately, without all the drama.

Toshiya entered the Escalade and gave Kyo a small kiss on the cheek, and he blushed; once again, I tried not to laugh.

“Hi, Taka,” said Toshiya with a smile. After that, he started talking with Kyo. “How was last night?” He asked.

Kyo frowned and gave no answer.

“Reita won,” I answered proudly. I shut my mouth when Kyo looked at me over the rearview mirror.

“It was my fault; I didn’t change the gear fast enough, and Voldy took advantage.” I was going to add something, but again, his look didn’t let me.

We arrived at my school ten minutes later, during which both of them were flirting hard. By the moment, I begged for them to say anything, to kiss each other and fuck hard. It was getting uncomfortable. I said goodbye and got off the Escalade.

I walked to our usual place, where Reita and Aoi were arguing about, you guessed it, cars. Kouyou was listening, and Kai, well, Kai was such a mystery to me. Sometimes I thought he liked Reita, but then when he was with Aoi, they looked so in love that it made me feel like I was imagining things. But the thing was that he never talked to me; he avoided me at all costs, like he didn’t like me at all, and it wasn’t like I wanted his approval or something, but it made me wonder: why didn't he like me?

“The Ferrari glides; it is absolutely light,” said Aoi, moving his hands so hard that several people turned toward him.

“Yeah, but the Ford is faster.” Reita looked at him like he was crazy for even arguing the statement.

I approached Kouyou and decided that the best thing was not to get involved when those two were talking about cars. “Can we talk about something else, beside cars?” I asked, sitting next to him. Kouyou smiled and looked at Aoi. “You could at least try to hide, you know?” I said quietly for his ears only; the other two were already screaming at each other while Kai was trying to calm things down.

“What are you talking about?” Kouyou looked scandalized.

“Maybe someday you will face the fact that you have a crush on your brother?”

“WHAT!?” He screamed as white as a ghost.

Reita, Aoi, and Kai looked at us, surprised.

“Taka, how long have you been here?” Asked Reita confused.

I rolled my eyes.

-x-

Don’t get me wrong; Kouyou was my best friend, but sitting next to him during classes was boring as hell. Kouyou was some kind of math genius, so he understood every single word the teacher was saying, and he truly paid attention. While I thought I was hearing Chinese.

"Hey,” a voice behind me called. “Do you understand any of this?” He pointed at the blackboard.

"Any,” I answered.

“He seems to understand,” he said, referring to Kouyou.

“Yeah, he’s a nerd.”

Kouyou turned to me. “I heard that, and I’m not a nerd just because I can understand math,” he said.

But I was already laughing, just like the kid behind us.

“I’m Hiroto,” he introduced himself once the class was over.

"Ruki,” I said. “This is Kouyou,” my friend smiled shyly.

“That’s a beautiful smile.” That was not Hiroto; instead, it was a boy who had introduced himself the day before, but I couldn’t remember his name. He stared at Kouyou vigorously, like he was some kind of wonder.

Kouyou blushed. “Thanks, Tora,” he managed to say.

Tora smiled and sat down at our table. “So, how's life going?” He asked, still staring at Kouyou.

My friend was going to answer when I caught a glimpse of Aoi standing by our classroom door. Most of the students watched him as he walked toward us and entered without knocking. Reita was with him, but he remained by the door, frowning.

“Remember our conversation yesterday?” Aoi said to Kouyou.

“Aoi, what a pleasure,” Tora said before anyone else. For some reason, the whole class was now paying attention to us. “I couldn’t make it yesterday; my parents had an important dinner at my house,” he smiled.

Kouyou looked confused, Aoi grew pale, and my eyes went from Tora to Aoi to Kouyou to Aoi once again; the conversation was heading to disaster.

“Don’t worry, I was late too." Aoi tried to look calm, which, for me, he failed at. “Can we talk outside? Your teacher will not come until next week,” he smiled. Tora went outside, but Aoi looked at Kouyou. “You stay here,” he said, angry.

By the time they had left, a group of students had gathered close to us and were asking about Aoi and Reita, including whether or not they were still single. It got worse when they found out I was dating Reita; they didn't stop talking for almost fifteen minutes. Finally, they left us alone, but Kouyou seemed upset.

“What’s wrong? Those girls stand no chance with your brother,” I said, but he frowned more.

“It’s not that; it’s just that I hate when we argue.” I didn’t need to be an expert to know who he was referring to. “Yesterday he made me promise I wasn’t going to talk to Tora; did you see his face? He was so mad” he closed his eyes.

“Why can't you talk to Tora? He is a good person,” Hiroto asked. “I have known him since we were little; he can be a little enthusiastic, but he is great," he explained.

I rolled my eyes.

“Kou, seriously, Aoi is your brother, not your boyfriend. He can’t decide who is your friend and who is not. Not even your boyfriend can decide that,” I said.

It was obvious; Tora knew about the races, and Aoi wanted to prevent him from talking to Kouyou about them. Ridiculous.

Finally, Tora entered with a happy face, almost triumphant. “Kou, I talked to your brother, and he is not angry. He said it was ok for us to be friends” he smiled and took Kouyou by the chin. “Everything's fine,” he assured, winking his eye.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, what was wrong with him? I turned around; Aoi and Reita were still at the door, and the blond was holding Aoi to keep him from entering once again. Reita took Aoi away without anyone noticing it but me. When I finally returned to the conversation between Tora, Hiroto, and Kouyou, they were talking about, guess what?—cars.

I was going to lose my mind.

-x-

“What are you thinking?” I asked Reita when he turned off the Volvo outside my house.

“The race,” he answered.

“The one you won, or the next?”

"Both,” he sighed. “I’m worried about Shou. Kai was able to install the computer, but his car is so high maintenance. We need a mechanic, and Aoi keeps saying no.” He looked at me and said, “And Tora, he put the icing on the cake.” He smiled.

I was very curious about it.

“He’s a good guy,” I said.

“Maybe, but now, thanks to Aoi, he is going to run with us." It took several seconds to understand what he had said, so he continued. “Tora wanted to be part of the team, but we kept saying no; we are complete. But now, since Kouyou can’t know any of this and they are in the same class."

He can join the group as long as he keeps his mouth shut around Kouyou, right? I completed it, and Reita nodded. “At least, is he a good racer?” Reita nodded again.

“He’s not bad, but we’re complete. Although he agreed on being a substitute, sooner than later he will demand running.” Reita closed his eyes. “I don’t understand why Aoi wants to keep this from his brother. It’s not that bad, and Kouyou can handle it,” he said, angry.

I bit my lip; I couldn’t understand either, but Aoi was extremely overprotective with Kou for one reason, and Reita didn’t seem to know. In fact, I knew because one day my friend asked if it was normal to kiss your brother. I didn’t know what to say back then; when I thought about it with Kyo, I immediately felt sick, but Kouyou seemed normal. I could only say that if it was okay for him, then it was okay. I wasn’t.

“What else is on your mind?” I asked, trying to forget the whole thing.

"Nothing,” he said, getting close to me and kissing me. I liked his sweet kisses, but I liked them more when they were passionate, like that moment. I felt his hand go up my leg.

"Rei,” I said. “I’m not ready.” I blushed.

He smiled, giving me another kiss. “I’ll wait.” He kissed me once again, upgrading his passion.

Sometimes I forgot I wanted to wait; something inside me wanted more of Reita, but I was so scared that I couldn’t make up my mind.

I heard someone knocking at the Volvo’s window. We broke the kiss, and Kyo was there looking at us as if he were getting ready to murder someone, most likely Reita.

“Gotta go,” I said to my boyfriend, and got off the car. “That was pretty embarrassing,” I said to Kyo.

“Does he have to be all over you?” Asked my brother while we entered the house.

“Well, he is my boyfriend.”

“And you are my brother.” He walked to the kitchen. “Look, I hate that guy; I’m trying my best to endure him; please try not to be that romantic in front of the house. I don’t want to punch him in the face,” his cell phone started ringing.

I laughed quietly. I knew Kyo was talking seriously; he was capable of hitting Reita if he considered he was doing something indecent to me, but it made me feel ridiculous; I could take care of myself without being the jealous brother.

Kyo yelled over the phone. “No, it’s ok. Sakito will win the race; don’t need to worry,” he said, biting his lip. “Shou, yeah, he’s on the same team. I don’t know; they don’t like those kinds of offers. Yeah, I know. I know, but they aren’t my friends. You don’t have to worry; Sakito will win. Just tell me if he’s OK,” he sighed, relieved. Although I was paying attention, I couldn’t understand anything. “Toshiya, don’t worry, we will win...”

That was not good. At all.

Chapter Text

Sakito

My phone rang for the fifth time, and I knew it was time to get out of the bathroom and answer. But people need to know that I take my time getting ready.

“Good morning, honey.” I heard on the other side of the phone, with a clearly sarcastic tone.

“Good morning, love.” I laughed. “Why are you calling at this hour? I’m getting ready,” I said, frowning.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get why, tho. Your sugar daddy doesn't come 'til the weekend, right?” My best friend said.

“Hitsugi, don’t call him sugar daddy. What the fuck do you want, anyways?” I said faking i was mad.

I wasn’t angry at all; maybe if it were some years ago, I would be punching Hitsugi right in the face. But now, he was the only one who knew about my situation, and it made me feel relief in a kind of way that he could make jokes about it. That meant my best friend truly, really accepted me for what I was, which was, well, I don’t know if I could call it a prostitute, but it was similar.

I had two lovers, yeah, I wasn’t ashamed anymore, and although I didn’t tell everyone I knew, some of my friends did know, even though they never heard the whole story of why, but that wasn’t important. Both my lovers gave me money; the first one, whom I saw every now and then because he was a very important married man, helped me with my school, my department, and even gave me some extra cash for food and random stuff. Only for being available some days.

The second one was more like a thing every two months. He was a very important businessman from the USA, whom I met by coincidence. And he helped with everything related to my car; he had bought me a bright yellow Camaro and paid for everything the car needed.

I wasn’t in love with either of the two men, but I was a penniless orphan who needed to work for a brighter future. I wasn’t planning on living like that forever; I was studying my ass off to enter law school. I wanted to be a lawyer since forever, and if everything went well, I would be independent, but until then, I could at least have fun with it.

“We know the time and place for the race.” Hitsugi finally said something, and I could swear he was smiling.

I sighed, preparing myself with an odd feeling in my stomach. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t looking forward to a race. “Where?” I tried to remain calm and keep it cool. But Hitsugi knew too damn well.

“That’s not important, right? The fact is that he is going to be in the race, and I want you to be as cool as possible."

“I know. We knew it was a possibility his car got fixed by now. ” I didn’t want to think about him; I couldn’t even say his name without having a headache; I hated him with all my heart. “We can at least avoid the drama.”

Hitsugi laughed hard.

-x-

I was lying on the grass, my legs up against one of the trees where we used to hang out. Hitsugi was next to me, eating, and Ni-ya, his boyfriend, was laying on his legs, more asleep than awake. We weren’t talking about important matters, usually just school stuff and cars. I was feeling anxious about that night’s race; it had been about two months since the last time I had seen him, and I knew I was not prepared at all.

“I’m sleepy,” said Ni-ya, getting my attention.

“You always are,” I answered, raising my brow.

The wind was blowing through the trees, playing with my hair and caressing my face. I closed my eyes, trying to get hold of that sensation, until someone stood over me, blocking the wind. I opened my eyes, and Kyo was there watching me like I was some kind of art piece—that, or he was beyond worried about the race. Probably the second. He had been angry since he lost against Reita, and somehow it would be my responsibility to win that night.

"Hello, handsome, need anything?” I said it in my sexiest voice.

Kyo frowned; usually he answered with another flirty phrase or at least laughed. Lately, he seemed stressed, and although I didn’t know why, I assumed it had something to do with Toshiya. Kyo finally sighed and sat next to us.

“I need to talk to you,” he said.

Ni-ya remained with his eyes closed, but I sat down, and Hitsugi stopped eating.

“We’re in trouble.”

“Trouble?” asked Hitsugi with an impossible calm.

Kyo grimaced; he seemed uncomfortable, like he was having a fight with himself. After several minutes, he continued.

“It’s about Toshiya; you are aware of his family situation,” he said, beginning to avoid our eyes. “The thing is, his father asked for money from the wrong people, and now he can’t pay it,” he explained.

I wasn’t surprised, and it didn’t bother me either, but I couldn’t quite understand why he was telling us that.

“You want us to give him money?” I was sure that wasn’t the problem. Kyo had more money than any of us, together. I asked the question because I truly did not understand.

"No,” he said, closing his eyes. “Toshiya told me about it; he said his family was threatened, so I offered to pay the debt. It’s not an issue for me, but the real problem began when I went to see this person.” His voice trembled. “The guy knew who I was; apparently he makes business within the races or something like that. He told me that our team and Reita’s were making him lose money. Don’t ask me how. But the point is, he told me the only way to pay for Toshiya’s debt was by winning races for him” he said it so quickly it was hard to understand.

“When did all this happen?” Asked Hitsugi without having a real reaction.

“About three months ago,” he said. “Everything was fine; we weren’t running against Gazette9, but in the last races we lost, and the guy, well, he’s not pleased.”

I felt a tic in my left eye. “Are you telling me that for the past months we’ve been running for some dude from the mafia, and you didn’t say anything?” I wanted to scream, but all I could do was show my greatest frown. I knew what we were doing was already illegal, but that was ridiculous. “Have you lost your mind? What if we have lost since the beginning? What if they kill us, rape us, hit us, or do something worse? Why didn't you say anything?” Even though I didn’t want to yell, I was yelling.

“Sakito, calm down.” Hitsugi put his hand on my chest, preventing me from standing up. “We have only lost two races. How many do we have to win to keep this guy happy?

“Fifty. He is making bets in our favor, and of course he got angry when we lost. You know I don’t do this for the money; I love to race as much as you do, but he said he was going to..." Kyo closed his fists. "I don't want Toshiya or his family to be hurt, do you understand? I didn’t want you to get involved; you have your own problems. But what was I supposed to do? We are not talking about something unimportant; he threatened his family. I…”

I sighed. “Ok, don’t turn this into a drama. We just have to do what we always do. To win.” I crossed my arms.

Kyo smiled lightly, and Hitsugi looked at me. It was obvious we wouldn’t abandon him, but maybe we didn’t even have a choice. However, we were a team, and above that, we were friends.

"Thanks,” Kyo said, looking at me with imploring eyes. “We cannot lose, and I know it’s not easy what I’m asking of you, since you’re against him, but please try.”

“I’m capable of winning.” I pouted. “I’m going to enjoy his face once I do it. Trust me, I’m the best.”

Truth be told, I was the best when he was not around. He was the best. But I needed to be confident, even if it was a false confidence.

-x-

“You really need to calm down,” Hitsugi said. He was driving my Camaro since I was a bag of nervous ants. Why? That’s what I wanted to figure out.

“I know, but there’s a lot of pressure here.” My phone started ringing, and I felt some kind of relief by looking at the screen. “Hello, love,” I answered with a strong, cheesy voice, and got out of the car.

“Hello, my little angel. Are you about to run?” Said my lover’s voice.

I leaned on the Camaro and remained still, looking at the pavement; I didn’t want to cross with any of the other team. “Yeah, almost ten minutes for the race.” The man wished me luck and said a bunch of dirty words I prefer not to say. When I hung up, I felt worse. I sighed, knowing I had to face the people around me. There was no sign of him, which made me feel calm for at least ten seconds. I tried to walk toward my team but ended up bumping into someone’s back. "Sorry,” I said, raising my eyes, but my expression changed at the moment I saw his face. “Cool, you’re here. Are you stalking or something?” I smiled.

“You wish,” he answered without changing his expression. “I don’t enjoy being among the trash, so if you'll excuse me,” he tried to pass through, but I didn’t allow him to.

“What? Are you afraid you’re going to like it?”

“Get out of my way, you’re not worth it.”

I wanted to punch him in the face so badly, but I wouldn't. I would have my revenge in the race; that way, I wouldn’t get into more trouble. So I let him pass and saw him walk away. I couldn’t help sighing while I closed my fists; I wondered how it had come to that.

“You always told me I was worth it, Shou,” I murmured, swallowing my anger.

I arrived with my team feeling dizzy and upset. Every time I saw Shou, I felt that way, no matter what the circumstance was; I hated that effect he had on me. I knew it was my fault that Shou loathed me; I made him feel that way, and I couldn’t complain at all. However, every damn time I was near him, I felt like drowning, and his scent remained with me, acknowledging what I had lost.

“After this one, it will be your turn,” said Kyo, pointing with his head at a car that was drifting in the parking lot.

Drifting was different from the others; every driver had a turn to show his technique. Points were awarded by the number of cones put all over the curves of the circuit. You had to avoid those cones by drifting. That meant slamming on the breaks at high speed, making your car turn just by the movement. Every time a cone fell, the punctuation went lower. In the event that two or more cars are able to do the circuit without knocking over any cones, the winner will be the one that completes the circuit in the least amount of time. It had never happened, at least in my time running.

A couple of minutes passed when I was already behind the wheel. I didn’t dare look at anyone from the other team, even when Kyo started yelling that his brother was acting like a spy for both teams, walking from one to another every five minutes.

Ruka, our team’s coordinator, told me the exact position of every cone, and after changing the tires, I approached the starting line. Without wanting to, I turned to my left, and my eyes crossed his. There was Shou, with that beautiful, serious face and his arms crossed, willing to watch every damned move I made. I couldn’t stand looking at him, so I took a deep breath, and without thinking about it, I released the clutch and hit the throttle pedal.

In less than five seconds, I was already at the first curve, so I switched gears and pulled up the hand break. You can achieve the same results if you use the engine, but the Camaro is an extremely heavy car for drifting. Why I used it? There were only two people who could drive heavy cars and make them look lighter. Shou and myself. If I didn’t want to lose control, the hand break was the best option.

I passed the first curve successfully; I sped up the gears like I was supposed to; the second and third ones weren’t a problem. The fourth one was the real issue; my gear was not fast enough, and when I pulled up the hand brake and the car turned, I knocked out two cones.

“Shit.” I cursed. You have to keep driving as if anything happened, or you lose rhythm—that was the first thing I learned. And that was the moment my mind went to him; I got distracted, and in the last curve, I knocked down another cone before gaining control again.

I got off the car as angry as hell, three cones. I was in first place, but it wouldn’t be enough. Shou was too damn good. Kyo approached me immediately, giving me a pat on the shoulder as a way of saying, We will think of something. I felt so stupid. We had to win; a lot was at stake, and I lost focus due to him. It was always because of him. I hated him and wanted to hate him so bad.

I remained absent, although I could hear the conversation. They were trying to be positive, hoping Shou would screw it up, but I know there wasn’t any hope. He was better than me; he had been driving forever, and his drifting was nearly perfect. I felt frustrated when I saw Kyo’s pale face. I had ruined it for him and for Toshiya.

I heard the Mustang’s engine; I could recognize it anywhere, that freaking amazing car. I turned around when the tires sounded on the first curve, and Shou started the circuit. That man drove in such a beautiful, almost artistic way that it kept you watching; the car never lost control, and he never seemed to get into trouble while driving. And just as I thought, the three first curves were perfect, and the sound of the engine felt like music to me.

During the fourth curve, the Mustang slid perfectly; I was lost; he was going to win. I kept watching the tires like they could give me an answer, until the braking sound caught my attention. The brake was sloppy. For a nanosecond, Shou hit the brake sooner, totally on purpose, and when he pulled up the hand brake, the Mustang went to the other side, the worst way to drift. Four cones were knocked down, and he hit the brakes at the finish line.

I didn’t move while he slammed the door. My friends were celebrating; I won. I had won, but no one seemed to know why. Without thinking it twice, I went straight to Shou before he could get to his team. I punched him really hard in the face.

“I don’t need you to feel pity for me,” I yelled. “You don’t have to do any favors for me.” I really convinced myself I hated him.

“You get distracted too easily.” It was his answer. He was rubbing his cheek. “I told you a million times that while you are in the car, you leave your problems outside; that’s the way cars move.” He tried to walk, but I didn’t let him.

"Why do you let me win? You thought I wouldn’t notice,” I put my hands on his chest. “You’re only trying to humiliate me, right? I hate you, Kohara. You don’t need to make me feel any worse.”

Shou grabbed my wrists hard. “I got distracted too, thinking you needed to win more than I did.” I was shocked, how did he know? “I’m not doing this for you; it’s for Toshiya and the team. Don’t go thinking you’re special, because you’re not,” he said, getting very close to my face. “To humiliate you, I have to feel something for you, and you’re nothing to me.” He let me go and walked away.

My team got close to celebrating. I had won, but I felt terrible.

Chapter Text

Reita

I didn’t want to wake up; seriously, I just wanted to stay asleep a few more minutes. I wasn’t able to sleep properly the night before, and that morning I had to wake up just to go to school. I hated school, and I hated that I had to be awake so early in the morning. The alarm was ringing, at least that was what I thought at first, but I was too sleepy to be sure what that sound was. Until I realized it wasn’t the alarm, it was my phone ringing nonstop.

I opened my eyes and turned immediately to pick it up, but when I tried to reach for it, I ended up falling from the bed with a loud sound.

"Ouch,” I complained, pushing the button to answer.

“Reita, are you all right?" I heard Kai on the other side of the line. Why was he calling at this hour?

“Yeah, what’s up?” I stayed on the floor, ignoring the pain in my back.

“Well, I just wanted to verify you were awake; if you keep coming late to school, you’ll get detention," he said with insecurity in his voice.

I smiled naturally. I loved how Kai was so kind to me. Even if we were just friends, he worried so much about me; not even Ruki was like that.

I sighed. "Thanks, Kai; you’re right. I’m on my way,” we hang up, and I gathered all my will in order to get up.

After I got a bath, I felt better and more awake. All the events from the last race kept rushing through my head; it was very stressful, and I wanted to murder Kyo. How did he end up making such a deal? The Mafia was not a joke; if he did accept a deal with them, it was almost impossible to get out of it.

I was not a big fan of Kyo and his team, but they got into something that I wasn’t sure they would be able to handle by themselves. Not that I was an expert either, but my team was now involved. I had to talk to him; I didn’t care if Ruki got mad at me; this was beyond the races. Unfortunately.

I went downstairs, trying to avoid going to school, but what Kai had said was right.

“Good morning, Akira,“ said my mother. I entered the dining room, where my parents were having breakfast quietly. Both of them were kind of strange; they married due to an agreement when they were very young. They had just one child to keep up with social standards and behave more like friends than a marriage. It was not surprising that they lived their lives separately, and I was expected to do the same. “You have tennis class today,” said my mother to my father, while I took a seat.

“I forgot; I can’t. I have to get lunch with a Russian client,” he answered without looking at her; she wasn’t looking at him either. “Akira, your mother and I will go to Osaka for the weekend; we have a dinner party. Are you going to be alright or do you need more money?” Asked boringly.

“I’m fine. Just remember to pay my credit card; I don’t want to go to the bank. ” I started eating my fruit.

Our house and even our way of living were very western; my dad wasn’t into traditional Japanese habits.

“All right, I might just transfer some cash anyway, just in case.”

We kept eating without talking, although I wanted to ask my father about the mafia. I knew that he had worked with some bosses before, not doing anything illegal, but my father said that when you run an important business, you end up meeting a lot of people. I remained silent, giving it a second thought. I didn’t want to be the kind of guy who runs into his daddy’s arms at the first sign of trouble; also, I didn’t trust my father that much; we didn’t have a relationship beyond some light talks. I was worried about how he might react to our problem. I had to do it on my own, for the moment.

I got out of the house with a plan. My beautiful blue Volvo was waiting for me. I resolved I would be at school for the first period and then I’ll skip second to go and talk to Kyo.

-x-

“We are not going to let them win. We won’t do that, right? I certainly won’t, and I don’t think that’s a solution” Aoi was really serious about it; he almost said the words shouting. “Kyo shouldn’t have done that, for a start,” he said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes.

“Mafia wouldn’t take the money; what else was he supposed to do?” Ruki said. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

“It’s easy for Shou to let Sakito win,“ started Nao. “But I don’t think Aoi would be...”

“It’s not easy for me to let Sakito win,” said Shou with fire in his eyes. “You know what? I don’t even have to explain what happened.”

"Yeah, right, you’re always so considerate. I bet my life that you wouldn’t do it for anyone else,” said Aoi, smirking.

“Fuck you, why don’t you mind your own business?”

“Cause it’s my fucking business too, in case you didn’t notice,” Aoi was about to argue some more when his little brother approached us; he shut his mouth with a frown.

“I cannot talk like this,” Shou stood up, very upset, and without saying anything else, he walked away.

Nao made a sound with his tongue. “He’s been in a terrible mood these past few days," he smiled.

Kouyou sat next to Aoi, watching Shou go away. “I’m sorry, I think he doesn’t like me," he said apologetically. He noticed Shou stormed as soon as he got near.

“Of course not,” said Aoi, hugging him. “He’s angry at himself, that’s all.”

Aoi was one of my best friends, the best one, actually, but sometimes I thought I didn’t know anything about him. For me at least, it was very odd the way he treated his little brother; if I didn’t know they were related, I would have said they were a couple. I felt chills down my spine; Aoi was with Kai. Why did he behave like that with Kouyou? If I were Kai’s boyfriend, I would be the most attentive boyfriend ever. Kai was so caring, always watching out for others; he was funny and had the most amazing smile in the world. I wanted to ask him out for some time, but before I got to do it, Aoi started dating him, and also, I was with Ruki, and it wasn’t that I didn’t like him. Also, Kai was totally out of reach, but I just couldn’t figure out why Aoi behaved like that.

“Reita” Ruki’s hand waved in front of me; I was in deep thought.

“I’m sorry, what?” I said immediately.

“We were thinking of having a party this Saturday; what do you think?” Repeated Nao.

I smiled right away. “In my house, my folks will be out of town.”

Everyone smiled.

-x-

I texted Kyo as soon as I got to his school. I waited for him by the back gate; the security there was far less useful than at my own school. He kept me waiting for ten minutes, and I was getting desperate.

“Wow, it’s true,” I heard his voice. “The great Reita has come to be seen by the peasants. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?” He said that while I turned around, I smiled at him and gave him the finger.

“You know exactly what I’m doing here; now jump the damned gate so we can go and grab something to eat. I’m starving.”

Kyo rolled his eyes but did what I said. Less than ten minutes later, we were having a hamburger outside a little restaurant without caring that we were wearing uniforms.

“I don’t need your help, Suzuki," he said after a few minutes of silence.

I took a sip of my coke and watched him closely. “If you hadn’t, Shou wouldn't have had to help Sakito in the last race.”

“If he wants to do things for Sakito, it’s not my problem.”

“You know he didn’t do it just for Sakito.”

“So my brother told you everything after all.”

I finished my burger calmly. “Mafia is dangerous; it’s not a game.” I was trying to sound like an expert when I said that.

“Don’t you think I know that?” He shouted, and he regained his senses when people stared at our table. “I didn’t have much of a choice, Toshiya..."

I sighed. “You should have offered money. You have enough resources to keep Toshiya’s family safe. Why get involved in matters that would be hard to get out?” I drank more Coca-Cola.

“I told you, I don’t need your help. My team is with me; all we have to do is win.” He smiled; if he tried to look confident, he didn’t make it.

I took another sip. “As long as Gazette9 is running, you won’t win. You know that for a fact.” I wasn’t being arrogant; out of 10 races, we won six and they won four.

“Stop being such an idiot.”

“Look, my dad might know a way out of this. We can talk to him and get you out of the shithouse you’re in.”

“I don’t need your help.” Kyo repeated slowly; he was beginning to get mad.

“Stop being such an idiot.” I said his same words.

“Reita the Hero,” Kyo added with sarcasm. “All right, maybe we could...” He stopped mid sentence and looked at me intensely; he was warning me about something, which I understood.

We stood up in silence, walking very fast. Almost instantly, two people were behind us trying to reach for us. I was able to see them lightly, and they were clearly some kind of delinquents. Kyo and I started running as fast as we could, and of course the other two followed.

“They told me they wanted Gazette9 to join; I think this is their idea of recruiting,” said Kyo, gasping.

While we were running, I understood something, it didn’t matter if my father knew someone. The person who had hired Kyo wanted us to drive for him; he had the balls to send someone to scare us, as if he knew what we were thinking. I could try telling my father anyway, or I could talk to the team and help Kyo.

The two chasing after us were very resistant; I felt exhausted already, but they kept running as if it were a piece of cake. Kyo’s school felt very far away. When I was beginning to think they might catch us, a green Peugeot 206 cut our way; we were lost.

“Quick, jump in.”

I acted by instinct; without thinking about it, I got up, almost jumping to the other side, for Kyo to have enough space to jump in. He closed the door immediately, and the car moved away.

I let out a relief sigh when I saw it was Tora driving the car.

“What the hell?” I gasped.

“I saw you running, and I thought you might need help.” He answered smiling.

“Thanks,” Kyo said.

-x-

“What the fuck? You were supposed to talk to Kyo and get him out. What happened?” Aoi asked, crossing his legs on the couch. The team was gathered in my living room.

“It would’ve been worthless.” I said giving my cigarette a drag. “I’m starting to believe this has anything to do with money; if that were the case, they would have accepted Kyo’s money. They are looking for something at the races.“ I explained.

“What do you think it is?” Nao asked an uncomfortable question.

“Dunno. It’s not good, tho. All movies about cars talk about this.” I answered. We laughed a little.

“I don’t want to be annoying, but we have to make a decision.” Said Aoi, although we knew he was being annoying on purpose. “We are not being forced to win.”

Shou sighed as he joined for the first time. “We’re not being forced, but it is true that as long as we keep competing against Nightmare en Grey, they won’t stand a chance. We might as well kill them now for the mafia. And I think I’m speaking for Lord Driver, here,” he pointed at Aoi, “when I say that we are not willing to let them win, but we cannot let them lose either.”

“So, it’s decided then?“ Asked Kai. “We are going to work for the mafia?” He smiled.

“If we want to stay alive, yes.” I bit my lip.

Aoi closed his eyes. “Like I didn’t do enough illegal stuff, if we get caught.”

“It is the best solution, and besides, it’s just for 50 races.” Nao said, trying to convince himself.

That was true. But I had such a bad feeling about it, and sooner than later I discovered I was not wrong.

-x-

“And you expect me to give you flowers?” Even if Kyo wasn’t saying thank you, I could tell by his tone that he was kind of relieved. “All right, if you only call for that...”

“Let me talk to Ruki,” I interrupted.

“We might be working together, but that doesn’t mean I like you or that I want you near my brother. We will keep competing as always, looking for the same benefit, but we are still rivals. So, leave my brother alone.”

He hung up. I couldn’t believe it; I was saving his ass, and he dared to hang upon me.

-x-

“Stop drinking, Nao. You have a race in less than an hour,” said Shou, laughing and taking away his cup.

“Quit it; I drive better like this. Gives you courage, you know?” Nao grabbed his cup.

I was just looking at him and laughing the same way. If he drank another, we wouldn’t let him drive. At first I thought the party was a good idea, but the race was the same day and we wouldn’t miss any. My house was full of teenagers; the whole school was there, and maybe a lot more people from other schools. I loved to do parties that way, like little unforgettable raves.

“Let’s get you some air.” I said to Nao, and with Shou, we took him outside.

I lived in a cliché residential area; everything was full of trees and gigantic houses; mine was the biggest in the street. Everyone had to register at the entrance and announce their exit; there were a few cars that transited the street, and by that hour, it was pretty much empty.

Nao got out of the house singing something I didn’t recognize but that sounded like he was trying to speak Portuguese. He was as happy as ever, but we didn’t know why. Maybe it was just the alcohol that was making him dance all over my front garden.

“He is not gonna race like that.” Said Aoi, following us to the outside. “He is gonna get killed.”

Nao’s style was the most dangerous of all races; it consisted of daring a police car to chase after you. Once you did that, the race started. There was a goal, yes, but you had to get there without being arrested within the minimum time. If the police didn’t come after you and you made it to the goal, you lose anyway. The thing about it was that it was not only about the police; this race was also done in the streets, between regular cars and people walking around. The goal was usually set on the other side of town.

“Yuu, is everything all right?” I heard Kouyou’s voice; he was standing by the entrance. He smiled when Nao began to dance near the street.

“Well, if he doesn’t make it to the race, Nightmare en grey will win. It sounds nice to me,” I continued, but Aoi gave me a hit in the ribs. Kouyou didn’t seem to catch what we were talking about.

“Are you Reita?” I raised my head to hear the voice talk. It was a tall guy with a crappy look; he was walking towards us with nine more guys behind him. I didn’t see their cars parked near the house.

“That depends; who’s asking?” I asked with a threatening look; I wanted to let them know they were not welcome.

“I’m looking for Gazette9 team’s captain. That's you, isn’t it?”

“What do you want?” Asked Aoi in front of Kouyou guarding him.

“That’s Shiroyama.” Said one of the other guys. “Also Kazamasa and Murai.” He pointed towards Shou and Nao, and he was holding a piece of paper that I imagined had our picture or at least a list of our names.

“So we have the whole team here; this would be easy.” Said the first one. “You see, we don’t want you driving a car.” He smiled, raising his fists.

Chapter Text

Nao

I was the farthest, and adrenaline was making me feel sober in less than a minute. I was not that drunk; I was able to notice everything that was happening around me, which, actually, was not good.

I carried a glass full of liquor, and Aoi had a bottle of beer in his hand; that was it. Those were our weapons against 10 men that looked a lot more experienced than teenagers feeling kinda drunk. I was scared, yes. I was going to let them know that? No.

Nobody was moving; I could feel the tension in the air, like we all knew what was going to happen next. One of the men got near Aoi; he had blue hair. My friend backed down, not letting his brother leave his back.

“That boy is too cute." The guy smiled while talking about Kouyou. “And he doesn’t belong to the team, so he will be at our mercy,” he said in a disgusting way.

Everything happened in slow motion after that. Aoi pushed Kouyou away with his right hand, and with his left hand, which was holding the bottle, he threw the bottle up, taking it by the top, and when he held it again, he threw it right to the blue haired man. The bottle smashed right in his forehead; he went back a little because of the bottle, and Aoi hit him with his fist right in his cheek.

“I wish you hadn’t done that,” I said, running towards them. As soon as the blue haired man received the hit, everyone started fighting.

We weren’t going to win, not even if the planets were on our side; they were too many. Taking some advantage, I jumped right above two men that were fighting against Shou, and we fell onto the ground. I gave one of them a punch with my fist; his head bounced on the ground. My strategy was to knock them down so we could get a chance at beating them. Somebody kicked me in my ribs, and I rolled due to the force.

I turned around; Kouyou was entering the house, but I couldn’t get distracted; the guy who had kicked me before did it again while I was laying on the ground. I don’t know how I did it, but I took his ankle before he could hit me again, pulled, and was able to make him fall. I raised him with some difficulty, and when I was about to kick him, another one got me by the back. Those guys didn’t get tired; it was hard to breathe by this point, and I couldn’t think properly either.

Shou was smiling at some guy; he was bleeding from the forehead. “You’re mistaken if you think I’m going to be scared of you,” he said, as his opponent held a knife in his hand. I was about to panic when Reita approached behind him; he used his elbow to hit him in the nape, and the opponent fell. Without noticing it, I received a blow to my beautiful nose.

“Son of a bitch,” I said, punching back; fortunately, my nose didn’t break.

“You always need help, right?” I heard, and I turned around to see Nightmare en grey.

Kyo was very fast and was already on top of one of them; Sakito held one by the neck and was looking directly at Shou. While Hitsugi helped Aoi fight against three. Reita took one of them by the arm, threw it to the ground, and put himself on top of him. The other men started running away; we were more now.

“Who sent you?” Reita asked, but the other didn’t open his mouth, so my friend grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face against the pavement. “You said that we weren’t going to drive a car, why?”

“We will keep coming as long as you race for Gackt.” Finally answered. Reita looked at Kyo, who nodded; that was probably the name of the man we were racing for.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just the messenger; you can either race for Mana or you can’t drive. I don't have anything else to say; now let me go.” He tried to fight, but Reita was very strong.

After several minutes, the private security that watched over the residence at Reita’s place showed up. I wondered why it didn’t happen sooner, but we were fine. They took the guy who didn’t say anything else.

We remained outside without saying a word. Apparently, our situation started to get more difficult with another mafia boss interested in our races, and I was beginning to feel that the whole issue was a lot more complicated than just racing.

Kyo was going to say something when Kouyou left the house, walking towards his brother.

“Are you alright?” He hugged him. “I was so scared; who were they? Why did they want to hurt you?” He said pretty unease.

Aoi looked at Tora, who was behind Kouyou; apparently, he was distracting Kouyou while the whole fight happened.

“Don’t worry, they were some guys from another high school. They got mad because they weren’t invited to the party” He tried to simile, but it looked like he was in pain; his lower lip was bleeding. “Let’s get inside,” he said, grabbing Kouyou’s hand.

“His lie is not going to last at this pace.” Said Kyo, but he entered back the house.

In less than two minutes, Kai went outside and gave us a death stare. “Can you explain why you didn’t say anything?” Asked frowning.

“It was kinda difficult to let you know; we were fighting after all.” Answered Reita.

Kai sighed. “I was very worried," he said, removing some blood from Reita’s chin. “Lucky that Kouyou let Kyo know what was happening.”

“Then, why you weren’t here?” said Reita, smiling at him.

“I remain inside with Ruki and Koyou; they were nervous, and if they did some scandal, the whole party would be outside right now.” Explained. “Kouyou was really worried; Ruki trusts you and his brother.” He smiled again.

Reita nodded. I was expecting another reaction, but it didn’t happen. I thought Ruki would be outside by now, asking Reita if he was ok, but that didn’t happen. I was expecting him to be outside, but I wasn’t that lucky.

“What were you thinking? He had a knife!” Sakito’s voice distracted me from my thoughts. He was arguing with Shou again.

“Why do you care? Nothing happened; stop yelling!” Shou was also yelling.

“Of course I care. And it has nothing to do with you; don’t be such a smartass. If that guy hurt you, the party would be ruined. Now that I think about it, maybe it would have erased that stupid smile from your face.” Sakito said angrily.

Shou started walking. “Every time you start screaming like that, you look less sexy.” He said so, smiling, and walked back to the house.

“Son of a…” Sakito was going to follow him, but Hitsugi grabbed him. “I hate that bastard.” He said it plainly. “Let’s go; you have to race.“ He and Hitsugi walked to the Camaro.

“The race,” I said.

-x-

I was two blocks away from a train station, the best place to find a police car. Kai had already shown me three possible ways to get to the goal, which was a storage place. He always prepared three in case I wasn’t able to get rid of the police on time, and we were always talking in case anything else happened.

“Are you sure you can race?” Ruki asked me before I got into the car. It wasn’t the first time he asked, but I didn’t get tired of hearing him. Sometimes it made me feel like he worried more about me than, well, never mind. I tried not to get too happy about it.

“Yeah, having a fight made me sober up instantly.” I smiled. “Thank you for coming.”

He smiled back. “Someone has to watch over you; the team is not complete thanks to their party ideas.” He was right; some had stayed at Reita’s while the party kept going.

We were just Kai, Reita, me, and, of course, Ruki. He was so thoughtful sometimes, and although he was only there because of Reita, it made me happy.

In case you haven’t noticed, I was into Ruki. Hard. Well, I was kind of in love with him. How did I feel about it? Bad. How would you feel if you were in love with one of your best friends' boyfriend? I mean, he was not only his boyfriend. I care for Reita like he was my own brother. It was against every code; even if they broke up, the code said I couldn’t do anything about it. It sucked, but Reita was way too important for me, more than any boyfriend. I was really hoping my infatuation wouldn’t last, because seeing them together was making me miserable.

It was not nice; I fell in love with him right after I met him, which meant they were already dating. But soon after, Ruki and I began communicating via text message and phone for the majority of the day. We had so much in common, and it was so easy talking to him, although he always showed me how interested he was in Reita. And that broke my heart every time. I hated that I was beginning to act like a child, but that was the truth.

Ironically, nobody knew about my situation. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. What for? If I said it out loud, it meant that it was real, and I was very comfortable with my negation period, thank you very much. And I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, and it would be just needless drama; I could even lose one of my best friends in the process. No, I was going to be a good friend and nothing else.

“Just be careful, ok? Because you are really crazy.” Ruki smiled at me and gave me a light punch in the chest. He left with Reita, and I needed like three seconds to react before getting into my beautiful girl.

My car, a Lotus Spirit V8, is the most beautiful machine on earth. The only car in the team that had two turbos, and that made me really proud. When you ran from the police, the important thing wasn’t about the speed, it was about dexterity; of course, some extra horse power helped.

My only true opponent was Hitsugi; he was the only one who worried me. He was the real crazy driver. I had always tried to be careful with public property; I had only crashed twice and didn’t hurt anybody. Hitsugi was not like that; once he crashed a light post. I was sure he made a pact with the devil because he never got hurt. No one could be that calm and drive like a monster. Once, he almost hit an old lady. An old lady! If we don’t count the several times he crashed with the police, he was pretty wild. I was worried he would get in my way because avoiding him was a real challenge. The only true advantage he had over me was that his car was smaller than mine, an Audi TT, but I was a better driver.

I went into the car. The hardest part was not running away from the police; actually, it was finding a police car that actually wanted to chase you. There were a few cars in Japan fast enough to follow us. Maybe a Charger could keep up, but if you found a lazy policeman, the persecution wouldn’t happen at all. That was just luck. I hated losing that way, but it happened.

I sped up, Hitsugi went left, and another driver was next to me, but I couldn’t care less.

“At the street light,” I heard Kai over the headphones. “You’ll find a car; good luck.”

I smiled; I was really good at making them angry. Nobody liked a rich kid with a nice car who mocked them. It was easy to hurt their pride. I turned right, and like Kai had said, I found the car. I slowed down and gave the patrol car a little bump with the Lotus. I smiled at the officer as soon as he turned around; I showed him my tongue and moved my head as if I were dancing. I sped up again; in less than thirty seconds, I heard the Charger’s engine, and I was on.

I switched to reverse; I had to drive like that in the avenue because the street light was on. The officer driving felt really capable; he chased after me without caring that I was driving in reverse. It was a lot more fun like that, because they felt like racers. I turned left, but instead of keeping the car in reverse, I switched back and sped up right in front of him. The car had to push the breaks to not crash me. I must have scared him and made him mad, because he started going faster after that.

“Go straight for two streets and go right, then left,” I heard Kai. “You have to lose him in the next avenue or you’re going to be late.” He warned me.

“Oh, that’s too bad, I was having fun.” I said it sarcastically. “Should I take some route? Or should I improvise?” I couldn’t hear the answer because another police car came in behind me. “He came out of nowhere,” I said, making a U turn. I wasn’t a fan, but I had to watch as the two police cars crashed into each other.

“That was not a pretty way,” said Kai.

I smiled and accelerated. “Don’t worry, just tell me how it's going." Should I speed up or can I go buy a coffee?

Kai sighed.

“There’s no trace of Hitsugi, and another driver is two streets in front of you. Can you hurry? I don’t want any surprises by the end.”

I passed a street light. “Right, I want to go back to the party. Son of a..." Hitsugi’s Audi TT got in front of me without a warning, and a fucking police car was behind him as well.

“Just ignore him; go to the storage place,” said Kai.

It was exactly what I wanted to do, except for the fact that I had missed the red light, in front of a police car! Over the speed limit! If I did something to lose Hitsugi, I was at risk of the police starting to chase me instead of my opponent.

“He did it on purpose.” I said. I was looking everywhere for a way out.

“You’ll have to lose them both.”

“How far am I?” I asked.

He remained silent for a minute before answering.

“By time, like five minutes. Less than five big avenues.” Kai answered.

I hit the wheel hard; I hated what I had to do, but it was my only chance, and the surprise factor would be a nice touch. The only way I could do it was if I drove in the pedestrian area because the street was only one way and driving through the cars meant driving behind Hitsugi.

I had to; if there were any pedestrians, I wouldn’t do it, but luckily it was very late. I turned the wheel hard, making some cars break. I got into the area, and feeling really bad about it, I crashed against three trash cans and a big mailbox. I sped up and turned right into a small alley that led me to another avenue.

“Go straight.” I could hear Kai’s tablet working, possibly tracing another route so I wouldn’t be near Hitsugi again. “Hurry; if Hitsugi gets rid of the car, he is going to be there before you.”

I had to win; my body ached due to the early fight, and I was racing due to my stubbornness. The less I could do was to win. I accelerated the car and turned in the right direction, and finally I was able to see the storage place. Nobody was around me; I had done it.

I supposed it was the excitement, or maybe I was still a little drunk, but the thing is that I crashed against the storage place door instead of waiting for it to be open.

The car turned off immediately due to the crash. It wasn’t a hard crash, but my car.

"Fuck,” I said, getting down.

-x-

“It’s cool; it wasn’t that bad,” said Reita.

I had to ride back with Hitsugi and leave the Lotus at the storage facility. I saw him with my most hateful stare.

“The engine didn't start, and, should I remind you, you are not a fucking mechanic? You can’t say it’s not that bad,” I said, pouting.

“It was because you drove in that state,” Ruki mocked, sitting in Reita’s lap. He gave me a glass full of vodka. “You better drink; drown your problems in alcohol. Because you’ll have to wait until you find a full time mechanic.” He said.

“Life is not fair,” I answered, drinking. “By the way, where’s Aoi?” I asked.

Reita looked around. “I don’t know, why?”

I pointed with my head to the stairs, where Tora was talking very close to Kouyou. “I don’t think he would be so happy about it.”

Chapter Text

Kouyou

I liked Tora. I mean, he was not ugly and was easygoing; he made me laugh, and he knew about cars. I liked him and really wanted him to kiss me in that precise moment. I was very curious about it; I had never kissed anyone except for my brother, but he was out of the question. From the beginning of the party, Tora had been by my side, and since last week, I spent the whole time, er, flirting? With him. I was beginning to think I could have a boyfriend; everyone seemed to have one, and I had to be realistic about it. For a long time, I only wanted one person to be my partner, but that was impossible. Everything I felt was wrong, so I had to start seeing other people.

"Kou,” Shinji’s voice called me. “Are you alright?” He smiled, and I nodded, feeling my cheeks turn red. He was staring at me with such an intense gaze, it made me feel dizzy.

“Yeah, I think I drank too much,” I answered, staring at my cup, which did not contain alcohol anymore.

“Do you want more?” I was not able to answer; he just gave me a kiss on the cheek and left for the kitchen.

I stood there, absolutely delighted by him.

“Are you mad?” Ruki approached. I looked at him without knowing what he meant. “There was already a fight, do you want another?” He said.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“If your brother sees both of you..."

I got mad instantly. “I think I’m pretty capable of doing my own thing without my brother's intervention." I said it angrily.

“Did you have a fight?”

Why did I have to ask my brother's permission every time I wanted to do something?

“No, I think I can do whatever the fuck I want.” I sighed. Ruki did not believe me and remained silent. “It’s just that; sometimes I think it’s not fair. He went upstairs with Kai."

Ruki rolled his eyes. “We have talked about this; the way you love your brother is not the best. He just sees you like a little brother, that’s it.” He said it apologetically.

I did not need a repetition; I already knew that the way Yuu treated me was only out of brotherly love. But every time he kissed or hugged me, it made me feel special, like we could have a chance to be something more than just brothers. I knew it sounded sick, antinatural, or whatever you wanna call it, but it was just the way I felt. My brother was the most important person for me in the whole world. I couldn’t help falling in love with him after the way he treated me. I knew he was just taking care of his little brother; however, I loved Yuu way before I understood what love was about. Even if Yuu did not feel the same way.

That was why I hated when he was with Kai, every time they kissed and touched. I hated that he was able to kiss him in some ways he had kissed me. I wanted Yuu to touch me or do me the same way he did to Kai, because I had heard it a million times when my parents were not at home and they were in his room. Why couldn't he see me the same way? I would have given up the world for that, just once. But it was a sin; it was wrong. That was why I wanted to forget all about him. I wanted to start doing things I had never done because I was waiting for him.

“I know Taka, but if Yuu wants to start a fight, I’m going to stop him myself. I like Tora.” I confessed before the black haired boy came back with my cup.

“There you go.” Said Tora and grabbed me by the waist.

Ruki smiled with some intense pride in his eyes. “Well, you seem to be getting along just fine; I’ll leave you.” The red-haired boy left us.

“Is everything all right?” Asked Tora.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” I smiled and took a sip. “Tora, can I ask you something? Do you like me?” I tried to sound as normal as possible, but I felt my cheeks were red.

Tora opened his eyes, very surprised. “Well, in fact, yes. I like you a lot.” I did not expect that, but it felt fine. “I’d love to have more with you than just friendship.” 

He got close to me, and I panicked a little. I was not prepared for that; I’d never kissed anyone before, just a little. With that thought in my head, I felt Tora’s lips on mine. It wasn’t anything like the ones I shared with Yuu; this one felt more... passionate? Free?

He grabbed me by the waist, and I pulled my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. When we finally stopped, I was smiling widely, as was he.

“Wow, that was great,” he said, bitting his lower lip. “So, you wanna go out with me?”

-x-

Ruki crashed his books against my classroom table, and I looked at him startled.

“So, do you mind telling me what happened last Saturday?” He demanded, and Hiroto was also there and paid attention almost immediately.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I played the fool.

“Are you dating Tora?” Asked Hiroto since Ruki was about to collapse or something.

I moved in my chair, feeling a little bit weird. “Something like that, it’s not official or anything. I thought I wanted a boyfriend, but I think I’m not ready.” I answered.

Ruki looked at me like I was talking shit. “Something like that? You're not ready? What the hell? Does Aoi know? OMG, Aoi is going to kill him.” He panicked.

“Calm down!” I said it louder than I expected. Even if the classroom was half empty, some of the students gave us a strange look. “You need to breathe. And no, my brother doesn’t know; that’s why I didn’t tell anyone. Wait, how do you know?” I asked. The real reason I was not ready was, in fact, my brother, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud.

Hiroto sighed. “Tora told me, he’s my best friend, y’a know? And I thought Ruki knew, so I kinda of told him, and well, here we are.”

“Ok, yeah. He asked me out, and we kissed, but nobody needs to know. So, don’t tell anyone, especially Reita.” I warned Ruki. “I’ll talk to Aoi, if needed.”

Actually, I was afraid of talking with my brother, so that weekend I tried to avoid him as much as I could. That morning, I woke up earlier just to leave without him. I told him that I didn’t want to be the third wheel between him and Kai. Truth to be told, I was trying to avoid his reaction; he would be mad with jealousy, and somehow that made me feel good, so realizing how sick that was, I avoided him. But deep down, I knew I had to talk to him sooner rather than later.

“Kou?” Ruki’s voice called me.

“Yeah, don’t tell anyone. Now, I need your help. I know it's too soon to think about this, but if I’m going to date Tora, well, sometimes things get out of hand like with hormones and all that.” I said as quickly as possible.

Ruki laughed out loud, and Hiroto raised a brow.

“Are you that innocent?” Asked Hiroto. “Have you ever done anything with anyone?”

I was not able to answer. Ruki kept laughing.

“Oh, shut up, you dwarf; you are also a virgin.” I was sick of his laughter.

The red-haired boy closed his mouth, and his face turned the same color as his hair. “That doesn’t mean I haven’t done anything; my god, you haven’t even watched porn.”

“WHAT?” Hiroto screamed, and our classmates looked at us again.

"SHHHHH!” I moved my hands, trying to shut him up and distract everyone else. “I know what porn is, but I’m not interested. Why would I wanna see that? I don’t even like women.” I crossed my arms.

Hiroto rolled his eyes. “There’s also gay porn, y’know?” He explained as it was obvious.

“What the fuck?” Said Ruki.

“Hey, I’m a curious boy.” He grabbed his backpack that hung from behind his seat. “So, let’s see little kittens.” He opened the backpack and took out a box filled with CDs. “There you go,” he said, putting it on the table.

“What’s that?” I asked, looking at the box.

“What d’ya think?”

Ruki gasped. "Why did you bring that to school? You’re disgusting,” but he looked way too curious about it.

“You never know when it can be useful,” he answered matter-of-factly.

“All right, you watch them first.” Ruki said to me. “You need them more.”

-x-

“I love your car,” I said to Tora honestly. He gave me a ride home because I finished school an hour sooner than my brother, so when he offered, I accepted it immediately. “I love the way the engine roars; it’s modified, right?” We were outside my house, and we kept talking for around ten minutes.

Tora laughed. “You knew that just by hearing the engine, you're good.” He lowered the volume of the music.

“I like to fix cars, but my brother doesn’t let me touch his Lancer,” I explained, a little disappointed.

“You can check mine whenever you want; besides, my Peugeot is way more interesting than a Lancer.” He winked at me. Tora kissed me again a few times before I needed to enter the house. “I have to go,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a good idea if your brother comes back and sees me here. And also, I don’t want to be alone with you in a house,“ he laughed. “You’re too beautiful for your own good,” he said, grabbing my cheek.

He kissed me again, and we got as close as we were able to. I felt Tora’s hand go below my shirt without breaking the kiss. I blushed but didn’t pull away; his lips were on my neck all of a sudden, making me feel dizzy.

“See you later, Kouyou.” Said Tora, stopping suddenly. He gave me a kiss on my forehead.

I left the car with his kisses lingering on my skin; I could not believe he stopped. I mean, I knew we were not going to do anything in his car, but it felt nice. I did not know if I was doing anything wrong or what. I felt awkward; I felt like I did not have any experience at all. I wanted to do something to not feel so naive, to feel like a grown up.

I entered the house and climbed the stairs; I knew there was not anyone at home, and I had around an hour before Aoi arrived, so I decided just to grab one of the movies Hiroto gave me, watch it, and learn something from it. That was even possible? How do people learn anyway? It was the only way I could think of.

My parents' bedroom was the only room with a DVD player; at least I preferred their room to the living room. I took the box and discarded my backpack immediately. I put on the DVD and turned on the TV, and I was terrified. It was not anything out of normal, right? Everyone watched those kinds of movies; it was totally normal, and I was the weirdo for not watching them before. For thinking my brother would teach me.

I sat on the bed watching the movie displayed; it was like any other movie: two guys were drinking at a bar and having a strange conversation. That was ridiculous; however, as the movie continued and the two guys started doing the things that they were supposed to do, I felt more nervous than ever.

One of the guys was touching the other in a way that made me feel tickling in my stomach; it was the way I always fantasized being touched. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Feeling aroused, I felt my groin moving as it grew. More than paying attention to the two guys, I was imagining we were...

-x-

Aoi

I skipped my last class so I could return with Kouyou, but he had left with Tora. I was jealous as fuck about it; it was obvious he liked Kouyou, and I was losing my mind about it.

But I talked to Kai, and he said something that got me thinking. My brother had all the right to be with whoever he wanted; it wasn’t like we had much hope or anything. I was his older brother, and he only looked at me that way. Kai was supposed to be my boyfriend. Why couldn't Kouyou have one? Although the idea was driving me crazy, I couldn’t stand it. I closed my fists as soon as I got to the house.

I wanted Kouyou to be there; I didn’t want him to be with Tora. I felt relief when Tora’s car was not parked outside, and I forced myself to believe he was in the house, not with him.

I closed the door quietly; even if my parents weren’t there, I did that all the time. I didn’t call for my little brother; I remained silent, trying to hear something. If I heard Tora’s voice, I was going to kick the hell out of him. But instead of hearing a voice, I heard a moan. I just reacted and climbed the stairs.

The sounds became clearer as I was approaching my parents bedroom, and I soon realized the moaning wasn't coming from anyone I knew; then I realized Kouyou was watching a movie.

The door was open, and there he was. The cause of all my problems, my sleeping problems, my fantasies, everything. My brother was lying on the bed and was caressing himself over the school uniform. It was so obvious what he was doing and what was watching. I lost it.

It was the sexiest scene I had ever seen. I had sex so many times before that; I’d watched porn but never seen a scene like that one. My brother’s innocence was getting away fast, and I didn’t feel bad or angry; I felt terribly aroused. My erection had never appeared so quickly in my life. 

Kouyou didn’t notice I was watching him; he opened his trousers, making me feel very dizzy. I had to remain by the door so he was not able to see me; I wasn’t able to see him either, but his noises were enough to make me feel like I was going to explode. I heard clearly how he was touching himself and moaned while doing it; everything around me disappeared.

I sat on the floor and opened my legs. I was trying not to do it, but I had to. I was fighting against my impulses to enter my parents bedroom and make my brother mine.

I listened to a loud moan coming from Kouyou’s lips. I unbuckled my trousers, took my cock out, and started touching it. I masturbated slowly; I didn’t want to rush. I wanted to take everything I could from what life was giving me. Soon, my hand went faster and faster as Kouyou kept moaning; I was so close.

"There,” I heard him say. I peeked into the bedroom one more time. I felt I was going to climax in that moment. Kouyou had two fingers inside him, and he was moving them at a regular pace. "More,” he said, gasping. He went faster; he was imagining himself with someone; his eyes were closed; and he was moaning. “Yuu, faster…”

As soon as I heard him, I began to masturbate again; I thought I was hallucinating but couldn’t care less. I went as fast as I could. I saw myself on Kouyou; his fingers inside were mine; it was my cock; it was me.

"Yuu!” he screamed my name as he reached his orgasm, and I did the same. I had to put my hand over my mouth so he wouldn’t hear me. "Yuu,” he called me. I opened my eyes as his eyes were on mine.

Chapter Text

Aoi

The time seemed to stop in that moment, and we were both trying to catch our breath. I couldn’t believe what was happening; after all, Kouyou was also a guy, and he had needs just like mine. It’s just that sometimes I kept forgetting he wasn’t a child anymore.

"Yuu,” he said in a whisper. “Don’t be mad; I’m sorry.” He actually looked scared.

It took me a few seconds to realize what he had said and why he had reacted like that? He didn’t have to ask for forgiveness; I was the one who should be asking for it. I was the one who committed an unforgivable act in front of him; I was the one abusing his innocence. We were looking at each other with our pants still down; it was like we were frozen.

“I could never be angry with you.” It was the only thing I managed to say; I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He did look beautiful—agitated and blushing—and it was nearly impossible to focus on something else. “Just be careful if my parents find you.” I stood up, raised my pants, and buckled them up.

“I swear, I’ve never done anything like this before; it’s that Hiroto, he..."

Why he kept apologizing? Why didn't he say anything about what I was doing? I saw him! I touched myself while doing it!

“Don’t worry.” I entered my parents' bathroom and grabbed a small towel. I got near Kouyou and gave it to him. “Here, you have to clean yourself.” I felt my face turn red; I am not the blushing type, but with Kouyou, everything was different. My brother was in the same situation; he couldn’t even move to grab the towel. "Kou,” I called him again, and he just moved his head slightly and covered his groin. I sighed. “It’s okay, really, it’s fine. Here, let me help you.” I joined him on the bed; he didn’t say anything. Trembling, I cleaned his hand softly. “I’ll clean you up.” My little brother stood still without saying a word. I felt nervous suddenly. I was trying so hard to make him feel secure and not ashamed at all.

"Yuu,” he whispered when I touched his penis when cleaning his stomach.

I was having a battle with myself; most of my fantasies were coming true in that moment, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I kept repeating myself, he was my little brother, over and over again. Why did he have to moan every time I touched him? He wasn’t doing it on purpose, right? I felt an erection trapped against my pants once again. Shit, think of something else, Shiroyama, I thought to myself. But it was almost impossible. Kouyou’s legs were in front of me; I was touching them with just a towel, and I could almost feel the softness of his skin. I tried to distract myself and not notice that my brother had an erection as well; it was normal; I was touching him; it was a reaction and not because he felt something.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. Distracting me from my terrible thoughts.

I shook my head. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not; I’ve never done anything like this, you know? I was touching myself,” he said in a really low voice.

“You’re sixteen.” I said this without really believing his words.

“I know, it’s just that I’m really shy.” Why was he saying that to me? “And you were the only person I’ve ever kissed; I just felt I was getting behind; everyone has a boyfriend and is doing things, kissing and all that. So Hiroto lent me the movie because I knew anything about it, and then, well, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing; why didn't you tell me before?” I grabbed his cheek. “I’m your older brother; you can talk to me about things like that,” I said, feeling annoyed.

“And what are you going to do about it?” He smiled for the first time.

Everything in my head went downhill from there; I wasn’t thinking straight anymore. Was that an excuse? I smiled back. “I taught you how to kiss, isn’t it? And I haven’t received a single complaint about it” I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

“It’s because I don’t have any.”

“This isn’t any different.” I got closer and put my lips against his. I was having a battle and lost it completely. I said to myself that the opportunity was there and it would never be presented again. I had to try to see how far I could go.

He closed his eyes and stayed that way after the kiss. “Yuu, teach me. Make love to me.” I don't have enough words to describe how I felt in that moment.

Everything I ever wanted, his beautiful body, was about to be mine, even if it was a lie, even if it was just because he wanted to learn and not because he loved me as much as I loved him. Even if Kouyou wasn’t going to be mine in reality, I could at least fulfill his request. Show him how much I love him, for once.

I kissed him again, desperately; I had to do it without too much thought or I was going to regret it, and I couldn’t do that. I’ve never felt so much adrenaline before, not even while I was driving; actually, all races and cars in the world couldn’t compare with Kouyou beneath me.

How I ended like that? My little brother was moaning while my lips marked his body like I was some kind of animal. I wanted to be soft, but I couldn’t manage. I liked it rough, but it was more than that; I was desperate to make him mine. My skin against his felt so hot. My fingers were trying to cover all of his body. I moved my hips against his and heard Kouyou moan loudly. I felt dizzy just from hearing him.

I took away his shirt; my hands caressed his chest; he was so beautiful, truly beautiful.

“You like it if I do this?” I bordered his right nipple with my finger. Kouyou nodded, arching his back. “It’s easy; you just have to make me feel good and I have to make you feel good; if something hurts or makes you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop, ok?” I asked. I was going straight to hell for that, but I couldn’t care less, so I pinched his nipple.

“That hurt,” he said, smiling.

“Sometimes pain can make it feel better, but I won’t do it again if you don’t want to." I was being the most selfish bastard in the world.

“Do it,” he said, closing his eyes and moaning while I did it again. I knew none of us were thinking clearly.

I smiled. “Let’s see if you like it this way,” I said, licking the zone, and bit him softly, harder by the second. The scream Kouyou gave me said I was doing it fine. My hand went to his stomach; still with my mouth in his nipples, I went down to his hip and pushed over his bone, and when Kouyou lifted his back, I took his penis in my hand and started touching him with security, at a slow pace. “It feels better if I do it, right? How are you feeling? Tell me how you are feeling." I was doing everything wrong, but I was drowning in a sea full of Kouyou, and I was fine with it. I had always wanted him and fantasized about his moans and his expressions.

“It feels nice,” he said shyly but also delightedly.

“Now it’s your turn to make me feel good, Kou." I had to stop. I needed to stop.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” I felt my penis reacting only to those words.

We switched positions, and I opened my pants faster than I wanted, but I was so desperate. “Do the same as I was doing,” I asked.

Kouyou settled between my legs. “And if I do it with my mouth?” I had to admit, I was thinking about it, but I was so ashamed of asking, but when he said it, I felt my penis growing harder.

“No bites,” I said, laughing but also a little scared; after all, it was Kouyou’s first time. He went down breathing quickly, and I was about to lose it. He licked my cock a couple of times before putting it in his mouth, starting with the tip, then half of it, and then the whole thing. I thought I was about to faint with all the sensations I was feeling; yes, he was not an expert, but he did it so well, or maybe it was due to all the things I felt for him.

Without notice, I was moving my hips so I could go farther. I felt his throat against my cock; I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but damn, it felt so good. Kouyou was doing it just fine without choking him. I was reaching my limit and didn’t want it; I couldn’t have my orgasm without doing what I really wanted to do. Without too much effort, I grabbed his hair and pulled hard.

“Did I do something wrong?” He looked at me mesmerized, without complaining about my harsh movement.

“Not at all, but it’s time for both of us to feel good.” Without releasing his hair, I laid him in bed. Was I being abusive? “Open your legs,” I ordered, and he obeyed. “This can take a while, but I don’t want you to get hurt.” Kouyou looked at me with fear in his eyes. “It’s okay; it will feel awesome, I promise,” I said to his ear, using my tongue to play with it. I rushed to my bedroom and grabbed the lube without looking at myself in the mirror; I wasn’t going to stand it. I reached him, pouring some lube between his butt cheeks and my fingers. I could tell he was a little nervous, but as soon as I put my finger in, he closed his eyes and remained still. “See, your body likes it,” I said, moving it slowly. It was delicious feeling him like that; his body was so narrow, I felt him taking me in, his virginity about to be lost. I moved my finger in circles, and I was able to put a second finger in. “You look delicious this way, Kou.” I moved my finger to the spot he was going to love.

“I can’t, oh my god, Yuu, I’m going to finish if you keep doing that,” he said, grabbing the blanket below him.

“Let me in, then,” I said, pulling out my fingers. I wanted to be inside him so badly.

“Do it, put it in me; I’m not going to resist any longer." He bit his lip as soon as my cock went inside him. “It's so big, it hurts,” he said, staring at me with little tears in his eyes. I knew that was going to happen, but I also knew it was going to pass. Kai was the same; it took him a little to get used to it.

“Relax; you’ll feel fine. I promised” I started to move, and his expression softened. I was going faster and harder; I wasn’t going to resist longer. Kouyou grabbed my arm, and I felt his nails on my skin. He started screaming, asking for more, and opened his legs wider. He was driving me mad with his body, his entrance, his beautiful face, his quick movements, and my love for him. At last, he was mine, just mine. He was going to be mine forever; I took his virginity away; I was his first; he wouldn’t forget that.

“Kou, I can’t anymore." Words were spoken, but he only trapped my cock harder between his legs. He moaned loudly, reaching for his orgasm. “Don’t ever leave me,” I said, reaching out and releasing everything inside him.

We remained silent and stared at each other afterwards. Kouyou hugged me by the neck. Guilt was rushing inside me worse than an earthquake; all my fears came back and were terrible.

I had done something horrible, and there was no going back.

“I’m home!” My mother’s voice alerted me; she was standing by the door.

Chapter Text

Kyo

It wasn’t my intention to hear the whole conversation through the door; actually, I was not interested in my brother’s private life unless he wanted to share it. However, the situation was very complicated. It was two in the morning, and Kouyou kept crying; somehow I understood. I never thought it would get that far, but somehow I knew the way the Shiroyama brothers were with each other was not normal. The boy had arrived at our house crying and urging to see my brother.

I got worried almost immediately. After all, he was my brother’s best friend; they had known each other since kindergarten. Even if I hated Aoi, I looked for Kuyou like he was also my little brother. So, even if I felt like some curious neighbor, I listened to the whole thing outside the bedroom.

I was able to catch that Aoi crossed a line with his little brother, and their mother caught them. I wasn’t getting the entire conversation because Kouyou was talking between sobbing and a door kept getting in my way.

“You. I told you it wasn’t good for you,” said Taka. “Aoi was just being horny, and now you’re devastated.”

“I know Yuu has feelings for me; you didn’t see him arguing with Mom,” he wept. “He said he loved me, Taka. He shouted to her, he loves me!” Kouyou raised his voice, holding onto his words, but suddenly became quiet. “If she hadn’t called Dad, none of this would’ve happened.” Sighed.

“He said he loved you?” Asked Taka surprised. I couldn’t catch the answer. “And, then?” I rolled my eyes; he was just being nosy about it.

“My mom started panicking; she caused a scandal. Began to cry, saying that Yuu was his little boy and was ruining his life with something like that. She hit me, saying it was my fault, and Yuu lost it and started screaming like crazy. Then my dad arrived and everything was chaos; he said terrible things to Yuu, but mom kept defending him, saying it was my fault. She said I was a slut and tempted Yuu on purpose to ruin his life. My dad started saying that my brother was the bad one.” It wasn’t a surprise to hear a story like that; everyone knew the Shiroyamas were a very dysfunctional family. The parents kept arguing all the time, but for unknown reasons, they remained together even if it was destroying their kids. “After that, everything happened so fast. My dad tried to hit Yuu, but he dodged him like it was nothing. Then they began to fight physically. Mom started to cry, repeating that it was my fault over and over, and finally my dad ordered Yuu to leave the house and never return. That he was no longer his son, and that if he returned, he would accuse him of raping me.” He started crying again.

I heard some things moving, so I guessed Taka was hugging him. “So he left” didn’t hear the answer. “I’m assuming he’s with Reita. I don’t know what else to say or what to do in this case. I mean, I never imagined this would get out of control so quickly; I thought you were dating Tora. Yuu, well, he is your brother!” Taka screamed.

“I love him! I don’t know what else to do. I know it’s wrong, I shouldn’t, I know it’s a sin, that it’s against normal. But I can’t help it; I didn’t want to come to this. My parents are crazy; I understand that. They didn’t have to react like that. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to see Yuu again."

“Tomorrow at school,” answered my brother.

“No, my father let me come here because he wanted to discuss with my mother what to do next. He forbade me to talk to Yuu if I didn’t want him to call the police. I can’t go to school for the moment, and I don’t know if Yuu will be there or not. They took away my cell phone, and I don’t want to talk to him; Yuu must be furious and needs time to process.” He sighed.

I stopped listening by then; it was way too much. I wanted to be unaffected, but the reality was that Aoi would be impacted by this in a variety of ways, including racing. We were in a lot of trouble, and this was just another thing to add to the list. I was beginning to think problems wouldn’t stop coming soon.

I grabbed my phone and wrote a text. I wasn’t keen on doing it, but I wanted the best for everyone, even if Aoi was an idiot.

“Reita, Kouyou is at my house. I hope Aoi is with you and things don’t get any worse.”

Since when have I cared about Aoi Shiroyama or Reita Suzuki? I remembered the last party; I didn’t understand why I had helped them with the fight, even encouraging my team to help. I hated Gazette9, they weren’t my friends. My phone alerted me to a message.

“He is with me; he’s staying here. We have to try if we don’t want any more trouble. It’s so nice of you to worry (kiss).”

I rolled my eyes more out of anger than relief—that idiot could have avoided sarcasm. I sighed; I was feeling very tired, and lately I was thinking about so many things that I wasn’t getting any sleep. I couldn’t help but think this mess was all my fault, but I couldn’t help it either; it was for Toshiya, and I would’ve done anything for him, although I didn’t want to get so many people involved. And I never thought it would get so serious.

There wasn’t a single day that I felt calm. I deserved it; I had a long history with illegal stuff. My last name helped me over time when police caught me doing something, but they were all misdemeanors and nothing like this.

I walked to my bedroom, thinking about how many races we had to win and the next race that was going to be held on Saturday. It was only Tuesday, and I already felt like my head was going to explode.

-x-

I woke up before my alarm rang. I had slept only three beautiful hours; I was getting really good at not sleeping. I remained in bed until the alarm actually rang and went to the kitchen. I liked making breakfast for Taka. I went to his room, being very quiet in case both were still asleep, but to my surprise, my brother was alone, awake, and looking at the floor very seriously. There wasn’t any trace of Kouyou.

"Taka,” I called him with a low voice; he raised his head and smiled. “Where’s Kouyou?”

“He left about ten minutes ago,” he answered sadly.

I entered the room and sat next to him. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m worried. But I can’t help but think this whole thing could be avoided, don’t you think?” He smiled at me, knowing perfectly well that I was listening through the door. “I want to support him, and I know his parents are crazy, but I can’t agree with him. It’s not normal; Aoi is his brother!” He made a disgusting face.

I gave him a pat on the back. “You cannot choose the one you love, Taka. Brothers or not, they’re in love; it’s not lust. I understand it can be difficult to understand, but he’s your friend, and you know this situation won’t have a happy ending. So, try not to judge him; just be for him,” I said as unwanted advice. “You want me to take you to school? I doubt Reita is going.” Taka nodded.

-x-

Soon after I dropped my brother off, I started driving the Escalade to school. I was so concentrated that when my phone rang, I didn’t bother to see who was calling.

“It’s good you’re awake so early." I didn’t recognize the voice; it was a man and talked so deeply that I thought it was the wrong number. “But thinking about it, you must still be at school, right, Kyo?” I didn’t know who it was; the screen only said Private Number.

“Who is this?” I asked, not scared but not wanting any trouble.

“You forget too fast; I’m your boss,” the voice laughed.

“I don’t have a boss.” answered, beginning to understand who he was.

“I like your attitude; I hope it remains the same during the race on Saturday.”

I cleared my throat. “My attitude is not the same but quite encouraging as well. Of course, it would be easier to win if there weren’t people trying to kill us” I overreacted, I know, but I wanted to know what was happening. Why has everyone suddenly shown such an interest in illegal car races?

“Trying to kill you?” He actually sounded surprised.

“Yeah, something about someone named Mana?” I said.

He remained quiet for almost a minute and finally said, “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry about that; just keep winning; that’s what I’m paying for.”

“You’re not paying me anything, motherfucker.” One thing is that he thought he was my boss, and another is that he actually had my respect.

He laughed harder. “I think you should talk with Toshiya about that. He has been receiving a percentage of every race won. He said you were ok with the arrangement, but be careful; maybe you’re not getting the whole picture,” he said viciously.

"Gackt,” I said before he hung up, and he waited for me to continue, “You’re not lying, right? Because if you are, you can forget about us,” I warned.

He laughed once more. “I don’t have to lie to you, Kyo; you’re making a lot of money for me. I need you to be on my side at all costs.” It sounded more like a warning, but I didn’t say anything else.

I hung up looking at the red streetlight; I grabbed the wheel so hard my hands hurt. Toshiya was the only thing on my mind.

-x-

I had to wait until break to be able to talk to Toshiya; our schedules were very different. I reached out to him not so sure about what I was going to say or do; I didn’t want him to be angry with me, but it was not ok for us to accept money from the mafia. I was the thing that got us involved in the first place.

"Toshi,” I called him. He was sitting with Die, and he smiled when he looked at me. I loved his smile. “Can we talk? Privately?” I looked at Die with an angry face; he was on my team, and we were kinda of friends, but I always felt jealous of his friendship with Toshiya.

“What’s up?” He said as soon as we were alone, walking through the school hallways.

“I talked to Gackt today.” I started not daring to look at him, but thanks to my peripheral vision, I saw him biting his lip. “He said something really interesting, that he was paying us some kind of commission for every race we were winning, and that you were the one receiving it.” I dared to look at him, but he remained with his head low. I didn’t want him to think it was some sort of complaint, but I wanted to be clear about it. “Toshi, we cannot accept money from them; it will only dig us deeper. We are giving them excuses to do whatever they want to us. They can even kill us, you know?” I swear, I tried to sound calm.

He stopped so suddenly that I had to do the same a few seconds later, and I stared without knowing what had happened.

“I need the money, Kyo.” It was the only thing he said; his fists were really tight.

“I know, but these guys...

“NO, YOU DON’T KNOW!” He shouted. We were alone in the hallway, so no one heard him, just me. “You have no idea what it is like to need anything.” He looked at me, his eyes full of tears, but I couldn't figure out if it was because he was angry or sad. I felt my heart break. “You have everything; you don’t know what it's like to be wondering if you’re going to eat. You don’t know what it is like to see your father crying because money is not enough. Your mother is not sick, and even if that were the case, you have the money to buy medicines, while we don’t. Don’t you dare say you know, because you are rotting in money and have never had to get money from anywhere without thinking if it’s illegal or not, because it’s not for you. Yes, I’m keeping the money, but it’s not for buying all those pretty things you have; I’m not as selfish.” I could sense the disgust in his voice; every word he said was like a needle pinching right through my heart. “I couldn’t care less who has the latest phone or the best car, or all those other things you and your friends do. I have better things to think about than all those vain things.”

I remained silent; he was right on one side. I didn’t know what it was like to endure all those things, but Toshiya never told me he felt that way. “Why you didn’t say anything?” I asked in a low voice.

“For what? So you can give me money?” He snorted. “Thank you, but I don’t want to be like Sakito,” he said with hatred.

I widened my eyes. “What are you talking about?” I knew where the conversation was headed, but I was not prepared.

He grabbed some air. “I know how you feel about me, Kyo. You don’t have to be an astronaut to notice that you’re in love with me. I know you think you can fix my life, but you can’t. I don’t feel the same way about you, and accepting your money will only make me feel like some kind of prostitute, and I won’t do that. I will feel compromised if I feel something for you, and the truth is I don't.” He said it so coldly that my pride was the most hurtful thing in that moment.

“You don’t want to take my money, but it’s ok that my team and Gazette9 are risking their lives for you, right?” I was so angry. I didn’t want to feel sad or devastated; that would be later. Right there, I had to feel a little better; I had to stand up for my friends, and if that meant punching him in the face, I was going to do it.

Toshiya smiled, the son of a bitch, like nothing was happening. “Who told you to do that? Because I don’t recall saying anything to you asking for you to pay my father’s debt. I didn’t ask you to accept that stupid deal with Gackt; you were the one taking all the decisions, and you did it without thinking about your friends. I’m sorry, because it was for the love you say you feel for me that you did what you did, but I never asked. You found out about my situation because Die told you; I didn’t.” I was stunned. He was right, so right. "Look, Kyo, I like you, but not in the way you’re expecting. I don’t love you; I don’t feel anything for you. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and also, I’ll understand if you want the money from the races; I’m just telling you why I’m keeping it.” He sighed.

My stomach ached, my eyes were watery, and I felt this knot on my throat keeping me from saying anything. I knew Toshiya since we were kids; I had been in love with him since forever, and I did everything for him, taking him to school, taking him to races, even getting into trouble for him. I never said my true feelings because I could be so brave for some things except for feelings. However, he knew, and I knew he knew about it. I was waiting for him to make a decision. I expected all his smiles, his kisses on the cheek, and his hugs to be for me. I thought it was because he felt the same, not because he felt he owed me something. I was just some rich and vain friend for him.

I was the kid who had it all. Everything I wanted, I got: phones, clothes, cars, accessories, travels, whatever, popularity, women, and men. Why, in that moment, did I feel empty inside? I felt so unnecessary. Every fucking time I cared about someone, they went away, starting with my parents and now Toshiya. It didn’t matter how much money I had in my bank account; nobody had ever held me and whispered, I love you, not even my parents. The person I dared to care for, and it was a lie, only an illusion. I was such an idiot.

-x-

I decided I wasn’t going to feel depressed about my conversation with Toshiya; ain’t nobody got time for that. I hated feeling sad, so I kept everything inside, ignored it, and that was it. By Saturday, I felt fine. Like always, I was not going to waste time; I had a race I had to win.

“Are you ok?” Takanori asked. We had just arrived at the place where the race was going to be held. We were sitting in the Corvette without saying anything to anyone.

I blinked several times before answering. “Yeah, totally fine. It’s just that I want to race already, and I'm totally winning this time,” I snapped my fingers.

“Well, I’m not on anybody’s side, but I’d like to see you win. Lately you look like shit.“ He laughed, and I thought Takanori was the only person worth it in my life.

“Taka, I’m not going back tonight. Can you ask Reita to give you a ride?” I asked without looking at him; I needed some distraction, like having some drinks and maybe getting laid.

Taka nodded. “I’ll ask Nao,” he said, which caught me off guard but didn’t say anything.

We got out of the Corvette and walked straight to Reita’s Viper, who was leaning on the car while smoking with Aoi. Taka ran immediately to greet them while I was looking for the other members of my team. Ruka was talking to Sakito, Hitsugi, and Ni-ya. I said hi with my head and approached Reita.

“I have to talk to you.” I had already spoken with Nightmare en grey about the money Toshiya was keeping, and I didn’t think talking to Gazette9 was going to be easy. Reita nodded and walked with me away from the others. “So, I talked to Gackt, the guy who is in charge of the mafia shit,” I explained since he seemed confused. “Apparently he’s been paying for winning the races.”

Reita raised a brow. “And of course, we haven’t accepted a single yen, right?” He was about to have an attack.

I wanted to say yes, but the truth was otherwise. “I just found out; apparently someone who is not part of our team is getting the money. I’m telling you this because I don’t want any surprises later, and to let you know, we are not holding any responsibility with this money; for us, it’s like we’ve never received it.” I thought about it and couldn’t keep risking everyone just for Toshiya. If he needed help, I would help him, but not with the mafia; if he wanted help, he would have to swallow his pride and ask for it.

Reita nodded, understanding what I meant. “I trust you; just don’t give us any more trouble; we already have a lot,” he said in a worrisome tone and looked at Aoi’s way.

I sighed. “Since when do you trust me?” I asked ironically, smiling.

“Don’t think this means I like you.”

“Don’t worry, I can’t stand you either.” I waved goodbye and approached my team.

In less than fifteen minutes, I was in the Corvette, hearing the engine roar before speeding up. Drag was a race style that lasted only seconds, and we raced for only a few miles. Knowing when to apply the gas was the key; if I didn't, I ran the risk of losing my starting position, just like in cartoons where characters always stay in the same spot. It was also important to know when to switch gears because, since it was a short distance and cars can reach a high speed, you could lose control very fast. I hit the pedal.

I loved racing; every time I was in a car, I forgot about everything else, including my rivals. The car and I worked as one for a period of time less than a minute, a lapse so incredibly short that the adrenaline ran like a punch, stronger than in any other.

I went down the Corvette, ignoring the girl who hugged me by the neck. I was trembling hard. Reita was pouting. I won. Everyone was cheering me up and celebrating, but I couldn’t hear anything. It was an empty victory since I wasn’t feeling as happy as I should. However, I was good at faking, so I smiled while grabbing the girl by the waist.

My phone rang in that moment, and I unblocked the screen and felt the world spinning around me.

“I want you to race for me, Mana.”

Chapter Text

Shou

I had so much in my hands: a phone, keys, papers, books, and the empty thermos of my morning coffee. Without mentioning the several other things I had in my head, those were very normal. I closed the door of my Mustang using my foot.

“I like your car; what model is it?”

“You are a dude, don’t you know anything about cars?”

“I’m not like any other dude you met.”

I closed my eyes. I hated having those memories. I hated that every single thing made me remember all about him. I was paying some kind of karma, I swear. I walked to the house entrance, keeping everything from falling off my hands, and it was working fine until Nao came out of nowhere and gave a freakin’ scare, throwing all my things to the ground.

“You idiot, I thought I might die!” I said it while Nao was laughing hard. He was helping me grab my things, and when I opened the entrance to my house, my heart kept beating fast. “What are you doing here? You never come.” I said it matter of factly.

Nao smirked. “Of course I come; you’re my favorite person in the whole world.” He laid down on the couch. I lived by myself, and for some reason my friends thought they could do whatever they wanted in there, like they didn’t know how much time I spent cleaning.

“Those words work for your mom, not for me." I put all my stuff on the table and turned to the living room. “What do you need now?” I asked, raising my brow.

He opened his mouth like I’d said the worst thing ever. "Why do you think every time I visit, it's because I need something?” I just stared at him. “Ok, ok, it’s not that I need something; I just want to talk to someone, and you’re one of my best friends.” He was suddenly so pale. Nao wasn’t the kind of person who went around telling others about his personal life; although he wasn’t bad at sharing like me, he was the listening type. The fact that he needed someone to talk to worried me instantly.

I sat on the couch next to him. “You’re scaring me,” I tried to joke, but he didn’t comply.

“I have a huge, enormous problem. Like tremendous.

I sighed. “Another problem?” Why did it seem that all problems kept accumulating?

He barely smiled. “I know we have plenty, but I don’t know what to do anymore. It will sound absurd, even stupid compared with other problems, but I have to take it off my chest.”

“I’m listening.”

He opened his eyes suddenly, alarmed; he got close to me, so close that he grabbed me by the shirt. “First, you have to promise you won’t tell anyone about it; if you do, I’ll kill you and take your ashes to Sakito," he said hysterically.

“Then if you do that, I’ll come back as a ghost, and so will you as well. What’s the matter with you? Cut the drama and say it already!” I shoved him off my shirt.

Nao sighed; he was behaving quite strangely, more than he was used to. “Well, remember yesterday when we were at Reita's?” I nodded. “He was trying to calm down Aoi because he heard that Kouyou would be attending another school, bla bla bla. Well, the thing is, the one that was able to calm him down was Kai; they went upstairs and everything. When all this happened, did you see Reita’s face?” I said no, I never notice any detail like that; Nao is always aware of everything. "C'mon, Shou, you have to start paying attention to the world around you! One day, something is going to happen to you because of your distraction. Anyways, it seemed like Reita was going to kill Aoi, you understand? Aoi is his best friend, but he was giving him a killing stare!” He was pretty excited about it.

I pressed my eyes shut. “That’s not good; if they are best friends, they can’t be mad at each other.” I gave my opinion.

“No, no, they’re not mad at each other.” He started talking faster. “Don’t you get it?”

“What?”

Now, Nao was looking at me like he was going to kill me.

“Pay attention!”

“Pay attention! We can crash and you wouldn’t even notice!”

“What? You can’t say that to me; your head is always in the clouds”

“Yeah, except while I’m driving.”

“I’m learning.”

“And I’m regretting teaching you.”

“Hey, that was mean!”

“You know you love me.”

“One day you won’t be able to use that as an excuse, Kohara.”

When I returned from my memories, Nao was looking at me, waiting for an answer to something I didn’t get to hear.

“What?” I asked shamefully.

“Reita likes Kai," he repeated, waiting for a reaction.

“What?”

“Shou!”

I blinked several times trying to understand the conversation. “And why does this have something to do with you? Or with me in any case,” Nao blushed. “Don’t say you like Reita, Kai, or Aoi; fuck no.” I wasn’t prepared to make our lives a fucking soap opera.

Nao shook his head immediately. “No! It’s not one of them," he said quickly.

“So, there’s someone you like.”

He rolled his eyes; it seemed like he was having a debate with himself. “You can’t tell anyone,” he repeated, and I nodded. “It’s Ruki” We remained in silence for a few seconds, then he started to explain. “At first, I didn’t want to tell anyone, but this is getting out of hand. We speak all the time, we send each other messages, and we share things on Facebook. Last Saturday, he asked me to drive him home, not Reita, me. He keeps doing things that are way too confusing.” He sighed. “Once he told me he liked to talk to me because he was able to be himself and doesn’t feel pressured. And I feel like it's a good thing that he says those things, but at the time, he’s still with Reita, and I don’t know what to think anymore. We have hugged, and last night we were so close that I thought we were going to kiss, but he pulled apart and, oh, god.” He grabbed his hair. “I think I’m losing my mind,” he said, waiting for an answer.

I bit my lip without knowing what to say. “And if Reita likes Kai, then you wouldn’t feel guilty for liking Ruki,” he nodded. “You have to talk to Reita,” I said, grabbing a cigarette.

“What for?”

"Well, I think it’s obvious; you have to tell how you feel about Ruki.”

“I’m not that crazy. I don’t even know if Ruki feels the same way.”

I took a drag on my cigarette.

“So, you’re going to wait for something else to happen or that Reita might find out on his own and do something disastrous about it.”

“He doesn’t need to know; no one else knows, just you. And you’re not going to tell anyone.” He asked for the pack of cigarettes.

“That’s so cool.”

“I just needed to talk. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Great! I was in the middle of my own sentimental problems; now I had to carry Nao’s. Whatever a friend needs.

-x-

“I have never made love,” he said seriously. We were seated on his couch. He never told me why he lived on his own or from where the money came; I just assumed he was like me. His parents lived far away and sent him money.

“You mean you’re a virgin?” I mocked.

He shook his head, painfully?

“I mean, I had sex, but never with someone I loved.” He smiled.

“Same here; I keep thinking making love is overrated.” I moved, trying to make him feel better.

“The thing is, I love you. You know that, right?”

“I tend to cause that effect,” he pouted as I laughed. “I love you too.” I caressed his cheek. “I don’t know what you did to me, Takahiro.”

“I don’t know either; you weren’t in my plans." He smiled, giving me a kiss on the cheek, then the other, then in the corner of my lips, and finally, he kissed me.

We kept kissing for a while until he hopped on my legs. I wasn’t expecting that, but I let him be. I grabbed his waist with my arms, pulling him closer. He made some space between kisses; “make love to me," he said, almost without air. I didn’t need more words; we kissed again, I pulled him up, and he put his legs around my waist. I carried him to the bedroom; he was so light.

We laid down on the bed and watched him closely. I wasn’t lying when I told him I loved him; I’ve never loved anyone like that. He was so perfect, so beautiful, sharp on the edges he needed to be, and his eyes were enough to send me to heaven. I kissed him again, getting rid of his shirt in the meantime, and I was so happy that the next day was a Saturday.

I traced his stomach lightly; I wanted it to be more of a trace than a touch, and it was perfect the way his skin reacted with my fingers. I passed each of his ribs and focused on kissing his stomach. I heard him laugh when I circled his navel with my tongue.

I unblocked his trousers, and his breathing became faster. I was kissing him on the lips again, then on his neck. He got rid of his trousers finally, and I gave him a love mark near his clavicle; he complained about it.

We laughed.

“What’s wrong?” I was amused.

He didn’t say anything; he just raised me, taking me by the shoulders, and pushed me to lay down. “I want to be the one that does everything, that’s all.” He removed my trousers, struggling a little with my belt, but he managed to take it all off, including my underwear.

He traced my chest with his hands several times, smiling widely. I loved that smile, one that was just for me. He kissed my chest, circling my nipples with his tongue. I arched my back just by his touch. He was moving on top of me, making his groin brush against mine. I was so excited; I felt so good; never have I felt so right at the right time and place like that moment. He was the place where I belonged.

His head kept going down, but before he could do anything else, I managed to stop him. “Let me do it; I want to spoil you.” I switched our positions in less than two seconds. He remained with that beautiful smile, and he smiled more when he felt my lips kissing the tip of his penis. I couldn’t stop watching him; I didn’t want to lose any detail in his expressions. I took his whole member, and he moaned in such a beautiful way.

"Shou,” he said. I loved how he tasted, his sounds, everything about him. “you’re driving me crazy.” He couldn’t speak or think properly; I was in the same situation.

I kissed his thighs, masturbating him, and he opened his legs without shame. I smiled and licked his entrance. His reaction was so violent; he screamed and opened his eyes in surprise; he moved his hips, and I did it again, preparing the place that would receive me.

"Shou,” he repeated. “Just do it already; I’m going to explode,” he admitted, blushing.

I had never seen him that way; his attitude was always cynical and sassy, and I loved watching him so vulnerable. So passive with me; with everyone else, he was someone different, unreachable almost, but with me, he was just himself, and I loved him for that. The way he was with me and the way he was with everyone else. He talked to me about everything, his dreams, his ambitions, and his future plans. I admired him so much for being so ambitious about his future.

I was between his legs purring the lub when he pouted. “What’s the matter?” I smiled.

“I love you,” he said. And I entered him softly; it didn’t take too much time for him to get used to me inside; he was the one that started moving. And soon I was lost in another world; I was feeling so many things at the same time and watching him lose himself in all that pleasure almost as if it were his first time. I felt the heat of his body surrounding me, offering me that pleasure mixed with the love we were showing at a non-stop pace, which made my body crash against his.

He grabbed the bedsheets and moaned. I finally put his legs on my shoulders, changing the angle, and he screamed, knowing I hit the spot I was looking for. We were sweating like hell, but all he managed to do was bite his arm to prevent more moans. Then he grabbed my arms, trying to hold on to something; scratches appeared in my skin; I was so close; his heavy breathing kept him from talking; I wasn’t any better. I wanted to finish; inside him, I wanted the world to know that he was mine, mine, and no one else's.

“I can't,” he said, biting his lip, and as he climaxed over his stomach, he tightened in that moment, pushing me to the limit. And my orgasm hit me while I was screaming his name.

-x-

“Sakito!” I opened my eyes.

I had another dream with him; it wasn’t the first time, and surely it wasn’t going to be the last one. Maybe I had to go to therapy or something; I wasn’t able to forget about him after all this time. Well, it was true, I hated him. But my hatred was because I couldn’t forget about him.

My alarm sounded nonstop, so I shut it off, wishing to sleep a little bit longer. I looked at my phone wallpaper and sighed; it was pathetic that I still had that picture of the both of us, but to delete it took so much effort. I sighed again, resolving to sleep another ten minutes while bathing. Yeah, I can do that.

I arrived at school a little bit earlier than usual; I was used to being late everywhere. I walked to our spot on the form yard, where, to my surprise, Ruki, Nao, and Aoi were already there chatting. I was going to meet them when my phone started ringing.

I couldn’t believe who was calling. “Weren’t you supposed to arrive with Aoi?” I answered.

“Yeah, I know. I’m in the bathroom; can you come?”

“Want some help?” I mocked.

“Ha, ha, you’re hilarious,” he said sarcastically. “I need to talk to you.”

Why did everyone suddenly need to talk to me? I was starting to believe that my friends thought that I had no life, and to my horror, it was true. Since he left me, I hadn’t dated anyone, and my social life was reduced to the parties my friends did and races. I hadn’t even gone to the movies in months, which is so pathetic.

I entered the bathroom carelessly, but as soon as I entered, someone grabbed me by the sleeve, the door closing behind me with a loud noise.

“Reita, what the fuck?”

“Shhh.” He moved his hands, signaling, and watched through the window; he looked like a stalker.

I looked at the closed door; the key was on, and then to Reita. “What are you doing?” I asked, realizing there wasn’t anyone else with us.

He moved his hand for me to approach him; I did so and watched through the little window. The tree where we usually hang out was pretty visible, and I was able to see all of our friends chatting.

“You know, nothing says more that I’m your friend than stalking them through the bathroom window,” I pointed sarcastically.

“I’m not stalking, well, kinda, but not in that way.”

I gave him a weird look, but he kept looking through the window. Nao was talking, probably saying something stupid because Ruki and Kai, who were already there, were laughing. Aoi didn’t look amused.

“Aoi seems better,” I said, trying to figure out what we were doing.

“He has his moments. But I’m sick of talking about him; I will say that all his problems are his own fault,” he said, frowning. “I support him and all, it’s just...”

“Yeah, I get it.” From the moment we knew the truth between Aoi and his brother, I have to say we were very surprised. It was something very difficult to understand, although he had all my support.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t notice who Reita was watching. “Poor Kai, he must be devastated.” He said, trying to sound cool about it, “I mean, they were together after all.”

I kept watching the scene. Ruki was holding Nao in a way that didn’t seem like they were friends. Kai and Aoi were close to each other but not too close, like just two friends.

“Don’t you think you worry too much for Kai?” I asked, wondering if he could see Ruki with Nao.

“If I don’t worry, who would? Anyways, I worry for everyone, and I don't think anyone has thought about Kai and how it must feel to know that his boyfriend was in love with someone else.”

He is not the only one. I thought.

“Why don’t you just tell him you like him?” I asked naturally and didn’t put too much thought into it.

Reita looked at me panicking; he tried to say something but couldn't and just kept stuttering. “I’m with Ruki” was all he managed to say, but he didn’t deny how he felt.

“You should look around once in a while.” I said, but he obviously didn’t get what I was talking about.

"Shou, nobody can find out; I’ll kill you if you tell someone.” Great, two dead threats in less than a week.

How did I get involved in everybody’s shit? These guys were acting out their own soap operas, and I was right in the middle. Let’s see, if they liked each other, why didn't they say it and get it done already? I couldn’t see anything that kept them apart; it wasn’t something like the thing with Aoi; none of them were hating and loving someone at the same time. None of them had a love so wonderful just to lose it suddenly. It was so clear that Ruki had feelings for Nao, and he didn’t say anything because of Reita. It was more than obvious that Kai was only with Aoi to cover up the truth, and actually, Kai always looked at Reita like he was the greatest thing ever created. I had so much free time.

I didn’t think it was that difficult to say, I’m leaving you because you’re in love with someone else. The difficult part was loving someone who didn’t feel the same way; the difficult part was that the person you loved left you for someone else because he offered something you couldn’t. That person left you because the only thing in his head was money; he fell in love with someone who wouldn’t love him the same way you could. That was the difficult part. What they were going through was nothing compared with that; maybe if they had such problems they could make a drama out of it and leave the shit behind. But who am I to judge their decisions?

“Nobody will know.” I sighed.

Reita smiled, and I rolled my eyes.

-x-

I arrived at the place of the race feeling a little tense; I was always tense, thinking I could see him. I just got mad with his insinuations, like nothing ever happened between us; he was just making fun of it. I hated it.

“I want to drift.”

“No.”

“Why? You always say I’m a good driver; teach me.”

“It’s way too dangerous, and you are distracted all the time.”

“Teach me, c’mon.”

“If I do, can you at least promise me you will never race?”

I got out of the car and approached Kai, who was tracing the route for Nao on his tablet. Races weren’t always in order; sometimes you only got an email saying the time, place, and type; the people sending it just waited for confirmation, and that was it. Sometimes you could even enter at the moment, but it was very rare. We had to assist every race now.

Reita, Ruki, and Aoi were talking with some other drivers, and I located Nightmare en grey immediately. Kyo was kissing with some random girl, Hitsugi and Ni-ya were discussing something probably about the race, and Die was nowhere to be found, which didn’t surprise me because he only appeared when it was his turn to race.

“I miss you.”

“Leave me alone. Don’t you get it? I love someone else; I cheated on you with him again and again, and I enjoyed it. You were just a killer, but I got bored. Get lost.”

I hated him.

“Earth calling Shou,” Nao’s hand crossed in front of my face.

“Huh?”

“I cannot go into the car if you’re standing there.” I was right at the Lotus door.

"Sorry,” I said, moving to the side. “Be careful, alright?”

“Don’t you trust me? I’m the best.” He winked at me.

“Sure, but I don’t trust anyone else.” Nao was one of my best friends, and his type of racing was the most dangerous; it was obvious that every time he raced, we got worried. He was very prone to crashes, which made me nervous.

Ten minutes later, I was standing next to Kai, listening to the instructions he gave to Nao. Usually I just remain watching the GPS, but I had a bad feeling; I needed to listen to everything that was going on. Ruki was on the other side listening as well. How did Reita not notice the way the guy acted?

“You have to go right,” Kai said.

“The avenue is closed.” I could hear Nao from where I was. “I’m taking a U-turn in the next one.”

“It’s an illegal turn...”

“It won’t be the first time I do something illegal, Kai,” Nao laughed.

Kai checked his tablet. “You have five minutes, or Hitsugi will arrive sooner.”

He sped up, and I could hear the turbo.

“Why the fuck are you using a turbo in an avenue full of cars?” I was frantic.

“I’m bothered by your lack of faith,” Nao answered; he probably heard me through the microphone.

He went faster; I could tell by the sound of the engine. I looked at the screen. He had to make the turn in that moment; he wouldn’t be able to if he was that fast.

“Nao, you have to slow down or you won’t make it,” warned Kai, alarmed.

“Relax.”

He did a perfect turn, the tires made a little noise but nothing else, and the idiot drifted perfectly at a great speed, not impossible but really reckless.

“I said I could,” Nao mocked. Until I heard the sound of the breaks, the tires, and the most terrifying crash ever.

“Nao.” Kai called after the noise. “Nao, please answer, Nao...”

Chapter Text

Reita

I don't know how fast I drove; I don’t even know how I parked the car. Actually, I have problems remembering how I got to the hospital. I just know we heard the crash, drove full speed to where he was, and called an ambulance.

I cannot explain how I felt; I mean, we were all fully aware of the risk that came with racing that way. We also knew the kind of danger the type of race in which Nao was competing posed, but that was beyond me. We have never been in such a strong crash; it had never happened to one of us, not like that.

What were we supposed to do in a case like that? We were just teenagers trying to be adults, and I was the one who had to pick up the phone and let Nao’s parents know what had happened; it was my responsibility. I was trembling just thinking about it, but we needed Nao’s parents; they needed to know.

I kept looking at the phone over the receptionist's desk. I had been debating with myself what to say for over five minutes when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Ruki was there, his eyes watery. “Just call them. Every minute that goes by...” He wasn’t able to continue. I nodded and dialed the number, feeling my stomach ache as soon as Nao’s father answered.

“Mr. Murai, this is Akira Suzuki.”

When someone calls you at late hours, it is never a good thing.

-x-

Nao made the U-turn in a perfect way; he drifted a little, and he crossed the avenue on the left side of the road. Everything was fine, until some truck driver passed the red light, dragging Nao’s Lotus from its side and crashing it against a lamppost. It was a mistake, but not our mistake, and that fucking mistake made my friend, my almost brother, fight for his life.

It got worse when we had to explain what we were doing when the accident happened; we had to make up an excuse. What was the proper thing to say? I couldn’t say we were racing; we always got out without permission; we did what we wanted, and we were so deeply involved in this. We finished saying we went to a party. The truck driver was drunk; ironically, it wasn’t our fault.

We were in the waiting room, and it was so quiet; everything was so quiet. I could only hear Ruki talking to Nao’s parents, but they were too far away for me to understand what they were saying. Several hours had passed since we arrived. The doctor gave us an update on his status, which was not good.

The crash caused several of his ribs to break, and one of them punctured his lung. He was in surgery at the moment; we didn’t know what to expect.

-x-

After two hours, he was still in surgery. How long did those things take? I felt very tired, maybe from being seated all the time; maybe I needed some sleep; maybe it was everything; my eyes kept closing in that small and uncomfortable waiting room.

A terrible noise made me feel fully awake. Aoi was all over an unknown man; he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with his left hand and kept punching him with his right hand. Shou stared at him like he was some kind of zombie, expressionless and not moving. It took me a few seconds to understand that Aoi was punching the truck driver, who was unharmed.

I walked quickly towards them; Aoi kept pounding the driver almost desperately. I had never seen him that way; he was about to cry, but the anger on his face was unrecognizable. It took all my willpower to grab his shoulders and pull him off.

“Leave me alone,” he shouted. “I’m going to kill him, because of him. Nao is inside, and he’s just fine. I’m going to kill him!” He tried to fight me.

I dragged him, using all my strength, to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. Shou looked at the driver but finally followed us. Kai did the same after all the noise, and Ruki stayed with Nao’s parents.

"Why didn't you let me kill him?" Aoi demanded, hitting the wall to the point of hurting his fist.

Kai hugged him from behind, pulling him away from the wall. Jealousy invaded me, making me forget everything for a moment. "Let him vent," I said a little more abruptly than I would have liked.

“Have you seen his fists?” Answered with anger.

Aoi was in shock; his hands were covered in blood, and he was full of bruises. He wasn’t saying anything; he let Kai hold him by the waist.

“I know, but he has to vent; all this is too much.” I passed my hand over my hair.

Kai nodded. “It’s too much, but it’s not the answer. Killing the guy won’t solve anything, Nao won’t get better, and Kouyou won’t return by punching a man.” He said it with such cruelty that it made me feel more angry. “It won't make the races less dangerous; it won't fix our problems.” Aoi crashed on the floor; I had never seen him like this. “Letting him smash his fists isn't going to help him,” he said, suddenly seeming so mature.

“You should worry less for Aoi.” I said it without really meaning it; maybe the situation was getting the worst of me and I couldn’t notice it.

“Rei…” Shou got going, but Kai cut him off.

“Why? I’m still his boyfriend; I have every right to be worried about him. And even if I wasn’t, he's still my friend, and he’s in bad shape.” Said serious.

I snorted. “Of course, he’s so in love with you that the first thing he did was fuck his..."

“Reita” Shou warned me.

Kai smiled. "Regardless of what Aoi did or not, I’m his friend. If your partner prefers being with someone else, it’s not our fault.” I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I approached him and took him by the shirt, daring him to repeat what he had said. “I would worry the same if it were you.” I opened my eyes, very surprised at his words. “Maybe more, but you couldn’t care less, right?” I let him go without knowing what to say. “If you think I’m going to feel bad because Aoi loves someone else, you’re very wrong. I knew it from the start.”

"Kai,” Shou said, trying to conceal his panic and acting like the end of the world was coming.

“What really makes me feel bad is watching the person I like with somebody else. The fact that I try to do anything for him, but he doesn’t even notice me. What do I have to do for you to notice me, Reita?” As soon as he finished saying it, my stomach started to ache, and I felt dizzy.

Ruki entered the bathroom at that moment. “Nao is out of surgery; he’s stable," he announced with a beautiful smile on his face. He hugged me, but my gaze never left Kai.

-x-

He had been in intensive care for two days; he was still fighting for his life; he could get worse and not wake up, or he could improve; nothing was known. We were trying to avoid the fact that something was missing, trying to pretend everything was fine because, after all, we were friends and were supposed to support each other.

“Who’s going today?” Aoi asked, and he was calmed by that moment. He apologized for his attack at the hospital. He was the same Aoi as always; I assumed it was too much for him and he merely exploded.

“I’m going,” I answered. We were all in my living room; I hadn’t talked to Kai, didn’t know what to say, and kept wondering what he meant when he said those things. “Ruki will be there sooner.”

Aoi rubbed his eyes; he looked like shit. “I don’t want to be a pain in the ass, but we have to keep racing.”

Shou sighed. “I hate to agree with Lord Driver, but we need to cover Nao’s place; we don’t know if he’s coming back or not.”

Kai shook his head. “Don’t say it. We have Tora, but I don’t think he’s good enough to cover for Nao.” He looked at Aoi.

The raven nodded. “I’m racing instead of Nao, and Tora will race circuits.” He explained.

"No,” I said immediately. “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you race against the police. Aoi, don’t get me wrong, but you’re way too reckless.”

“Hitsugi is the same,” he said in his defense. “Besides, let’s admit it, Shou only drifts, and your Viper only works in drag. I can do this; I have to; I’m the only one good enough; I’m the best, and you know it; and we’re in far more danger outside the car.” At that moment, his phone rang with a text message notification. He looked at it without paying too much attention, but suddenly he went very pale. “Son of a bitch,” he said, dropping the phone almost as it burned. “He’s crazy, fucking crazy,” he said, trembling.

Show picked up the phone, and his face changed as well. “I’m always thinking about you, so I did you a favor and finished what you started,” he read, showing the screen.

It was a picture. At first, it was difficult to understand what was in it, but then I could distinguish a body, a man. He was dead! He had been shot, and I didn’t recognize the man until it seemed very clear that it was the driver involved in the car crash.

“Who the fuck sent this?” I asked almost screaming.

“Gackt.”

-x-

I walked down the corridor of the hospital; by that time, I already knew the way by heart. More and more things were in my head, and although they were all serious and probably threatened my life, the only thing I could think about was Kai and his words of utter contempt for me.

I mean, did Kai have feelings for me? And not any more? So why had he agreed to be with Aoi? Why didn't he tell me anything from the beginning? Of course, I would have said something. I wouldn’t even try to be with Ruki from the beginning, and it wasn't that I didn't like him or something like that, but Kai was different from everyone else in so many ways.

I was about to open the door when Ruki's voice stopped me right outside. It seemed to be talking to Nao.

"You have to be strong, okay? I know I was a coward, but I promise you that when you wake up, I will tell you the truth, and I will tell it to everyone. I was a fool. I want to be with you. I realized that the day we went to your house. Never in my life have I felt so comfortable with a family. Your family is great; they love you so much that they opened the doors of their house to me, and I opened the doors of my heart to you. Remember that time when you smiled at me while I was being stupid and bought you an ice cream? I feel like I love you more every time I receive one of those ridiculous messages from you in the morning. you're such a baby, and I love you like that. Wake up, Nao, please; you're going to be fine, I promise you."

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. When had that happened? When had my boyfriend fallen in love with one of my best friends? The most important thing seemed to be that Nao felt the same. Why hadn't he told me anything? Suddenly I felt betrayed and foolish for not having noticed earlier. I wondered how long we had been fooling each other. I opened the door carefully to let Ruki know that I was there.

He turned and smirked at me. “I try to talk to him; they say they wake up faster that way.” He shrugged.

"Whatever works,” I replied, looking at my friend.

Seeing a person like that can be very impressive; they not only look weak but also vulnerable with all those cables connected and the machines making strange noises. Nao had a broken leg, a huge neck brace on, a few patches spread across his head, and his face was very swollen from the blows of the impact. I could tell that the body lying there was not even ten percent of who Nao really was.

"Put on the mask," Ruki said. Intensive care only allowed two people to enter at the same time and only if we were covered from head to toe. The reason was that we could give him an infection, which would make things worse. “He looks so helpless,” he said, brushing against one of the scrapes on his arm. “I don't want you racing anymore.” His voice was firm.

“You know that’s impossible.” I shook my head.

“Sure, if the mafia don’t kill you first, a car will do.” He said it ironically.

“Ruki…”

“All the people I really care about are involved in this; it suddenly seems logical that Aoi would not want Kouyou around this environment. It's just that I don't understand when it stopped being a game.” He grimaced.

My cell phone rang at that moment, and I received a disapproving look from Ruki. I had to leave the room because cell phones can interfere with the signal of the machines.

I opened the cell phone that was showing a new message.

"If you keep racing, your little friend Nao won't be the only one in the hospital. Kisses, Mana.”

Chapter Text

Saga

I finished breakfast. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to eat it, so I just served it to my father and ate a little bit of bread. I took my backpack and put it on my shoulder.

“I’m not going to repeat it; it's going to get cold.” I said, louder for my father to hear.

“I'm coming”, he said, getting out of his room, looking annoyed. It was very common for him; sometimes he behaved like a little kid. He smiled when he saw the breakfast. “Well, you seem to be in a good mood.” He said he was approaching his place, making his wheelchair turn.

I smiled a little. “An exhausting day is waiting for you. I want you to have energy.” I answered.

My father had been in a wheelchair as long as I can remember, but it wasn't an impediment for him. He was just as independent as anyone else, and he could do almost anything like anyone else. But I was always a little worried about him. Maybe I overprotected him, but we only had each other. My mom died in that car crash that left my father disabled. I was very little, and I wasn't with them in the car. Something for which I am thankful every day.

“It's weird that you want to go to school today.” He started eating.

“Well, last time I missed chemistry. I was left without a team for the environmental work. If I don't have a team, I might fail,” I smirked. “So, today we're going to make teams for the final work in physics, and I don't want to be left alone,” I explained, walking to the door. “I’ll see you later.” I said goodbye, and I went to school.

I had no real obligation to go to school; it was totally unnecessary, but my manager said that it was best to give me an education because the art world was very changing sometimes. I did it because I didn't want to have any problems with her. With the money that I had earned, I was able to give me and my dad a proper life for the rest of our days without problem, because I didn't spend it on stupid things. I saved it. And I only spend on the necessary things, like food or my dad’s doctor. Maybe I just spend it on little things, but not too much.

For me, I could have stayed home and just painted. That's what I wanted to do, and I did it pretty well. Sometimes I was even called a new revelation of modern art, not that I care. I just wanted to paint, and that's it. I was discovered when I was 12, and since then I have been able to earn money from just my paintings. The people didn't get tired, and neither did I. But school was another thing.

I wasn't far from school, like 15 minutes by walk, and I didn't want to buy a car, not after what my parents went through. When I arrived, the class hadn’t started, so I looked for my best friend and approached him calmly.

“Well, this is new.” He said when he saw me. “You didn’t want to be left out of the team?” He asked.

I made a nose with my tongue. “Yeah, if I fail physics, Akemi will kill me.” I explained. “Besides, I miss you, Yomi.” I hugged him.

“Don't touch me, you animal,” he pulled apart; he hated affection; who knows why; he has been that way all his life, and I knew him for a long time.

“It's just that you hate me.” I said pouting. Yomi just rolled his eyes, and I laughed a little. That's when I saw him; he was just seated without looking at anyone. He had transferred to our school the week before and hadn’t talked to anyone. I thought he was shy because, well, it's difficult to transfer when the curse had already begun. “Hi,” I said, calling for his attention. Yomi turned to see who I was talking to.

The boy saw me and smiled a little bit. “Hi,” he said with a low voice.

We approached his seat. “Your name is Kouyou, right?” I said. I was really bad with names.

He nodded. “Kouyou Shiroyama,” he introduced himself, smiling. He was really attractive.

“My name is Takashi, but everyone calls me Saga, and this is Jun, but we call him Yomi, so feel free.” I said, but he frowned, “What's up?”

Kouyou smiled. “Why does everyone have a nickname? I cannot believe it,” he said ironically.

“I don't know. Saga is my artistic name; that's why they call me that way.” I explained.

Yomi rolled his eyes. “Oh, please don't ask why he needs an artistic name, or he won't be shut up within the next hours.” He warned.

“Hey, that's not true.” I said. Kouyou smiled, which made me feel like it was a good sign. For the last week, he was like, well, he looked depressed. I wanted to talk to him, but I was missing school a lot.

“So, what got you transferred? Did you move?” I asked him.

His expression changed immediately; he looked paler. He looked right at his table. “I don’t want to talk about that.” He seemed sad.

“Of course,” said Yomi, “don't worry; hey, you will be in our team, right?” That's just how my friend was. He trusted people immediately, making them his friends too soon. A beautiful quality and a big default to me. Sometimes people can hurt you.

Kouyou looked at him without understanding? “I guess. I didn't know that we have to make a team for physics as well.” He said confused.

“Well, that's the way it goes here. At least in physics, chemistry, and biology. They give you a project to work on all year, and if you do it right, you don't have to do the final exam. It's either an advantage or a disadvantage. If you're really bad at that.” Yomi explained.

“Yomi is really good at chemistry and biology. But I'm really bad at anything, and neither of us knows anything about physics. We are not a good team, but we will appreciate the company.” I smiled.

“I…” Kouyou tried to speak, but the professor's entrance interrupted him.

Never in my life have I met someone who speaks that way. Within two minutes, Kouyou had already solved the problem on the blackboard, called the professor two times, and even corrected him once. The first week, he was just not talking, and then he seemed more comfortable. After the first four hours of class, we went to recess; Yomi insisted Kouyou come with us, and even though he said no at first, he finally agreed. The three of us were seated and talking about everything and nothing, like music tastes and things like that. We had very similar tastes. But suddenly our talk was interrupted by the sound of a cell phone. Kouyou made a look and answered; he prepared to leave, but I made a gesture assuring him that it was okay for him to stay.

“Hey Taka.” He said, his face expressionless. “It's too soon. I know, but you are missing a lot of classes. And that’s not going to help you at all. There's nothing you can do. His parents are with him. You have to think positively; he's going to wake up.” When he said that, I felt weird in my stomach. He was talking about something really bad. “I can't, I'm not allowed to; they think Yuu might be there.” He said it sadly, and even I felt hurt by his expression. “I know. But what do I have to do? They come for me after school; they also give me this new number; you and Tora are the only ones who have it.” He said, desperately. “I'm sorry; I would like to support you, but I don't know what else to do. I know. I know and thank you.” I could swear he had tears in his eyes. "Well, you have to talk to Reita. Yes. And it's not fair; you've already decided, and it's going to be worse when Nao wakes up, okay? But don't tell him we talked. I know him, and he will put some pressure on you to give him my number. I have my reasons; it's too soon, and I don't want him to do stupid things. Okay, thank you. I love you too. Bye.” He hung up.

I didn't want to ask any questions. It was like having a secret; if he wanted to tell us, he would, but we were not going to put any pressure on it immediately. I started talking about his physics skills instead, trying to relax the environment.

“I don't know. It's easy for me to understand every problem. I just think about cars, and they solve themselves.” Kouyou said.

“Cars?” I ask without understanding.

He nodded. “Yeah, you know, like the mechanism of the car, its speed, what it takes to do it, how it works, etcetera.” Explained.

“Do you like cars?” I asked, feeling sick. It wasn't my intention; I just couldn't help it.

“Saga” started Yomi.

“Yeah, my father has a car business, and I fix them and things like that. I understand if you don't like it; my best friend doesn't either.” He smirked.
“No, I don't like them. I could tell you that I hate them, but it's not like I'm going to stop talking to you or something. I actually like you.” I said, moving my head, and Yomi sighed, relieved. Generally, I ended up having strong discussions with car lovers all the time. I wouldn't be friends with Kouyou because I actually liked the boy and he needed a friend.

Someone interrupted our talk with "Whoa." I turned around, and I was actually surprised to see who was talking. I have never spoken to that guy before, but everyone in school knew exactly who he was. “So, it's true. Shiroyama’s little brother is here. It seems like your disaster brought you here.” He smiled. I knew it couldn't be anything good.

Kouyou looked at him, confused. “Can I help you with something?” He asked blinking a lot, like if he was really surprised that the other was talking to him.

“Not really, I was just curious,” he answered, smiling wider. “You're really cute. I thought they were joking when they told me you were here, but it’s true.” He looked very interested.

“I don't know who you are. I don't know if you are friends with my brother, but I have never seen you. How do you know him?”

“Die!” Another person, whom I knew by name but who had never spoken to me, was approaching fast. “I found you, Die. I need to talk to you.” The seriousness on his face gave me a chill; he didn’t flick for one second.

Die rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Whatever,” he said, winking an eye at Kouyou and walking away.

“It's everything, ok?” The guy asked.

Kouyou smiled. “Hi Kyo, yes, everything is fine.” He waved his hand.

“Just a little bit of advice. Don't get too close to Die in here; Shiroyama is not here to protect you, and I don't want you to talk to him, all right?” He warned; the other one just nodded. “Good, see ya later.” He followed Die and got lost.

Yomi and I turned to look at Kouyou immediately. “Do you know those two?” Yomi said. He was really surprised.

Kouyou nodded, looking at the way Kyo walked away. “No, I don't know Die. Kyo. He is my best friend's brother. It's like my older brother in some kind of way, and he also happens to hate my actual brother.” He opened a lot of his eyes, looking at us.

“Those two are the most popular guys in school. Kyo is actually like the king here, you know, I don't like them.” I made a gesture with my nose.

“Why? Well, Kyo is a good person.”

“It's not for that. It's just that I don’t like their activities. I don't agree with them,” Kouyou looked at me really confused. “C’mon, everybody in the school knows.” His expression didn't change. “You know, about the races and everything. Like how they drive cars and everyone acts like it's a big deal. They are going to kill themselves, you know?” Suddenly, Kouyou’s expression changed.

“Car races.” It seemed difficult for him to say anything else, and then the bell rang, telling us that we had to go to class. We stood up, but Kouyou didn't move; he actually stopped us by the arm. “Kyo is involved in car races.” We both nodded. “Have you ever gone?” He was about to faint.

"Never,” I answered, and Yomi denied it as well.

“Also a guy named Sakito?” We both nodded again; it was impressive that the boy knew all the people who were most popular in school. “I cannot believe it; they wouldn't be capable of that.” He spoke to himself, but his grab became harder. “Just don't leave me.” Yomi and I just remained there without understanding anything. It was not the first time we skipped class, but we didn't understand what was happening. Kouyou grabbed his cell phone and made a call.

It was answered almost immediately. “Taka,” he said, having an internal struggle. “What was Nao doing at the moment of the accident?” I opened my eyes in surprise and looked at Yomi, who looked as surprised as I did. “Don't you dare lie to me, Takanori.” Kouyou put the speaker on; I don't know why, but he wanted us to know what was happening with him.

“I’ve already told you, we escaped to go to a party,” a voice replied. “I was not going to tell you; you're a good kid to go and escape.” He seemed really nervous about something.

“Seriously, Taka, you wouldn't lie to me, right?” There was silence. “Tell me Nao wasn't running a race.” There was no answer. “When were you going to tell me?” There was a sigh. “Oh God, it’s true.”

“Just don't make a big deal out of it.” Takanori tried to say.

“Reita has a Viper,” Kouyou interrupted. He was really upset. “It's not any Viper, he also runs, right? Shou has a Mustang, and Nao has a Lotus. How could I not notice before? And you didn't tell me. What kind of car does Yuu drive?” I didn't know what to say. I understood perfectly; I hated cars, and he seemed to have a friend that had an accident related to them. “Don’t lie; don’t you think I know what kind of person he is? I'm not an idiot, what kind of car?” He closed his eyes.

“What makes you think about that, Kou?” Even if the boy tried to avoid the question, he knew he had to answer it.

“HE IS MY BROTHER!” He shouted angrily. “You think I don't know him? He's a sick guy.” He tried to remain calm. “He loves driving, and I know perfectly how he does it. How his Lancer is not capable of running a race. From whom does he borrow the car?” He was grabbing the cell phone so hard.

There was another sigh. “Reita, he lent him a BMW, but he didn't want you to know; it's a very dangerous world, if you only knew.”

“Obviously, I don't know, because you think I'm an idiot. Don't say anything, Taka; just forget about it.” And he hung up. He remained for several seconds without moving. He seemed to be having an internal struggle.

Yomi approached Kouyou, “Are you okay?”

He looked like he was about to cry. "What do you do when the person you love the most lies to you? Not only does he lie to you, it's just like, he thinks that you're an idiot and you're not capable of anything?” He began to cry.

“Well, you get over it, and then you send them to hell.” I answered without hesitating.
-x-
"Yes, ma'am, you can call this number or any of the other numbers I gave you. That's my cell phone and my home phone; he's not leaving from here. I will make sure of that.” My father was talking to Kouyou’s mother.

Two weeks had passed since he talked to Takanori. And from that day on, he let us know that his brother had run away from home, that his parents weren’t letting him see him, and that's why he went to our school; he even told us about the races. Although I felt like he skipped a part of the story, I couldn’t understand why his brother had to run away in the first place. But as soon as I met Kouyou’s mother, I thought it was possible.

We were going to spend the weekend together, Kouyou, Yomi, and me in my house. The boy decided to forget the person who lied to him, even when he didn't tell us who he was. Also, we talked about changing a little bit of his looks and teaching him some things so he would never be mocked again. Because, well, I had only talked to him for two weeks, but he was really innocent and was a little overprotected. So after half an hour of discussion with his mother, his parents left at last.

“I’m sorry,” Kouyou said to my father.

He just gave him a smile and went to his room, saying, “If you need anything, don't look for me.” He laughed, closing the door.

My house only had one floor for obvious reasons. It had really wide hallways because of the wheelchair, and my father's bedroom was the first one. My bedroom was at the end of the hallway. The bathroom was in front of my bedroom because my father had his own. However, mine was the biggest one because I used it as a studio as well.

“Wow,” said Kouyou when he entered. “You painted this?” He asked with admiration, looking at the canvas.

I nodded, feeling proud. Even though I was used to getting ovations, I always felt happy when someone else who didn't know anything about art said something, because while critics could be hard, it was better for improving if people who didn't know anything about it said anything.

“It's not finished yet.” I sat on my bed while Yomi sat on the chair next to my desk.

“Your bedroom is amazing.” Kouyou said, looking at the paintings on the wall.

“Oh my God, you have another fan,” said Yomi, annoyed. He wasn't really angry or anything, but he knew me so well that he wasn't amazed by my paintings; sometimes he gave me comments on whether he liked them or not. And actually, I began to listen more to Yomi than to my agent or critics. He had a good eye, and when he didn't like them, I knew that I had to paint again.

Kouyou blushed. “I'm sorry. It's just that I've never met a painter before. I'm surrounded by mechanics and drivers and all those things,” he frowned.

“Well, let's see.” I said while moving my hands. “Tell me again, how are we supposed to go to this race?” For the past week, we had been planning this “escape”, mostly because Kouyou wanted to confront his brother about the races, and he asked for support, so there we were. I don't know who's worse, Kouyou because he had to do it, or us because we were helping him.

Kouyou sat on the floor with his legs crossed. “Tora will be here for us. He will take us and drive us back.” He said again, it was like the number 10,000, but I needed to hear it.

"Ok, and this Tora, he’s your boyfriend. Not the one who lied to you, but the boyfriend who is a good person.” I repeated.

“Yes. That one.” Kouyou seemed annoyed by the description, but he didn't say anything else. “That would be until tonight; meanwhile, we have all afternoon to do whatever we want. So, your father knows, what are we going to do?" He was worried.

I made a sound with my tongue. “Well, my father and I get along quite well. And it would be just too stupid not to tell him where we are. If something happens to us, it would be dangerous. Yomi doesn't have to ask for permission while he's with me, so it’s ok. And even though my father didn't like that a lot, he trusts me.” I finished.

“You’re lucky,” said Kouyou.

I just nodded, and Yomi got up off the chair excited. “We have all afternoon, so I was thinking...”
“That's new.” I answered sarcastically.

“Don't be a moron.” Yomi looked at me and then continued. “I was thinking that the best way to change is by changing your whole appearance,” he said, grabbing his hair while he was saying it. “Like a total makeover.”

“Oh my God, we are in a teen movie.” I said. I knew immediately what he meant and what he was going to do because he had this stylist complex. The last time my hair was brown, it was because of him. I mean, he was good, but he was too enthusiastic about it, like all problems could be solved by dying your hair.

“Should I cut my hair?” Kouyou asked Yomi.

“Just a little, but I'm going to do that later.” Yomi answered with a lot of security. Poor Kouyou, he didn’t have any idea what he got himself into. “First of all, I'm going to change the color of your hair.” He explained it like it was so normal that he seemed to be saying, "The sky is blue."

“I don't think that's a good idea.” Kouyou said a little bit panicked.
I looked at him, trying to give him my most comprehensive look. “Believe me. He knows what he's doing, and he's going to do it even if you don't want to.” I pointed at my hair. “It looks good, right?” Kouyou nodded. “Well, Yomi did it. I was blonde before, also because of him, and before that I was a brunette, all of them with different haircuts.”

“Actually, I'm going to use that blonde you used to have.” He explained, taking out a bunch of dye tubes from his backpack. “I'm going to cut his hair to have all these beautiful motions,“ he said, doing a curve with his hands, like making a wave. “And finally, some makeup,” he pointed to his eyes.

“If you only knew how gay you look in this moment,” I smiled, but he threw me my pillow; it was totally worth it.

During the next three hours. I dedicated myself to drawing sketches while Yomi was doing his job over Kouyou, who just accepted his fate. My father went to my bedroom just once, and I could tell he didn't want to do it again, which I found really funny. Kouyou wanted to be swallowed by Earth. The boy was covered with foil and had a strange face.

“Now all we have to do is wait for the dye to work its magic; in the meantime, I brought something for you. Because obviously you're taller than me, and that's why I have to use Saga’s credit card.” Yomi smiled, giving me his best puppy eyes.

“So, I already spent my money; you have to use it.” I said, without looking at Kouyou, just looking at my sketches. Yomi and his problems with Extreme Makeover: He bought clothes with my money. It's not that I was cheap or something, but what was wrong with him? And he said that it was for a good cause. What am I supposed to do with that? And he knew me so well that he knew I wouldn't mind.

“Are you crazy?” said Kouyou, surprised to see the enormous quantity of clothes. “You don't even know me that well. What if I am some kind of sociopath or something?” His cheeks were red.

I raised a brow, said, “I really doubt it,” and started drawing again.

“Thank you.” He smiled.
-x-
No. Actually, I was not happy at all to go to all this racing stuff. I hated cars because they took my mother away from me, because my father was disabled because of them. And now I had to go and watch a bunch of guys trying to look cool while risking their lives inside one of those horrible machines, just for fun? It was just beyond my comprehension, but I really wanted to support Kouyou.

We were outside my house, waiting for Tora to arrive. Kouyou looked a little more nervous than he was admitting. Although I wasn’t sure if it was because of the race or the way Yomi had worked his stylist magic on him. Honestly, he looked amazing; his now honey blond hair made him look great, and the clothes really fit him. He looked quite different, older and more centered than before. That was for sure.

“You should have a nickname,'' said Yomi once he finished. “After all, you are not the same Kouyou.” He put his hand on his chin to think while he was looking at Kouyou with concentration.

I did the same thing, invading some of his personal space. “You actually are beautiful.” I was amazed.

“Don't think anything funny. It's just like, he's really impressive.” I assured.

“He's beautiful.” Yomi looked at me, thinking the same thing I did.

“Uruha,” I said.

“Uruha?” Kouyou raised a brow.

Yomi nodded. “It fits you. It’s the second kanji in Kirei; it's more original.” He got a little bit too excited.

So there we were, waiting to go to a race. Kouyou had lied to his parents to be able to put himself in some kind of danger if everything went wrong. Looking completely different and with a new name, I was actually proud of being part of that. It was like doing something different, putting the routine behind me, and doing whatever the kids my age did. It was much better than going to parties with grownups.

I saw this green car parking in front of my house. I didn't remember the brand, although Kouyou told me about it a dozen times, and I didn't care about it. Someone went out; I couldn’t see him well because I was too nervous.

Uruha approached the guy first. “So? What do you think?” He asked, insecure about his looks.

Tora, because I was certain it was him, opened his mouth speechless at first. “You look beautiful,” he grabbed him by the waist and gave him a little kiss on his lips.

And finally, they approached us. “He's Yomi; he's the one who did all of this,” Kouyou introduced us, blushing. Tora said hi, offering his hand to my friend. “And he’s Saga; you should see his paintings; they are so great.” And it was at that moment that I paid attention to him.

When he touched my hand to say hi, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He was beautiful, that guy in front of me. It was just so hard for me to react, and I gave him my hand back in such a clumsy way that I almost felt a chill. I didn't believe in love at first sight, but when I saw Tora, he proved to me that it existed.

We arrived at the race without further inconvenience. Tora explained everything about the drivers and how races worked, so I assumed Uruha's brother was going to race that night. Actually, I wasn't paying a lot of attention to that; I couldn't care less about it. I was trying to remain calm about the whole situation.

“Lately, Aoi has had to run more than five times,” Tora said when we arrived, he parked the car and we remained inside.

Uruha made a smirk. “Why?” he asked, worried.

“Because of his type of race, those are the only races that are organized. Sometimes it happens. Besides, your brother has won all of them. He's an impressive racer.” There was true admiration in his words. However, Tora’s words didn’t seem to impress Uruha; the honey blond looked a bit more angry, or maybe disappointed.

We got out of the car, and I have to admit the place was intimidating. There were a lot of parked cars that were very expensive. There were a lot of people walking around with golden chains around their necks. And there was music playing really hard. A lot of women and men walked around almost without clothes on and with more than one companion. Also, there were people that looked important and a lot of guns.

“Don't worry, it's very difficult for this to turn into something dangerous,” Tora tried to calm me down, but it didn’t work.

A lot of people were staring at Uruha; he looked really good. Tora grabbed him by his waist and got him near him. I felt jealousy tickling in my stomach. I mean, I wasn't in love or anything; that would be impossible; but I couldn’t help but think Tora was incredibly handsome, which was something really bad to think due to the fact that he was Uruha’s boyfriend.

“It's not that easy.” A voice took me out of my thoughts. “To find a person that's capable of beating him, he's unique. He has a natural talent, okay. Do you want to start with Shiroyama?” I stopped when I heard the last name and paid more attention. “Okay, we’ll let him be for now. All right.” I had to stop listening after that, or it would be very obvious. But I felt a little bit worried because I knew they’re talking about Uruha's brother.

I made my way back to my friends. Kouyou was standing in front of a short guy—not as much as Yomi, who had cherry red hair. The boy was looking very surprised at Uruha. There was also a blonde boy with a piece of clothing around his nose, which was really curious.

“You look amazing,” said the redhead.

“Do you think it's a good idea that you're here?” Asked the blonde one, crossing his arms, he was warning him.
“I can do whatever I want, and you are here. Why shouldn't I?” Uruha answered defiantly, then he turned around and introduced us. “These are Yomi and Saga; they are my friends from the new school.”

I said hi to the new guys, who first introduced themselves as Reita and Ruki; I had already heard them mention them, but it was good to see their faces. The blonde was going to say something more when, out of nowhere, a black-haired guy grabbed Uruha by the arm. He tried to pull him apart, but the honey blonde managed to slip away.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” The black haired said. It gave me the chills; for a moment, no one dared say anything, not even move. It was very tense around us; a lot of people were looking at us.

“I came to see the race. After all, I love cars as much as you do,” my friend answered like nothing was happening.

The other one sighed, “It's too dangerous.” He said trying to calm himself down.

Uruha pushed farther from the black-haired boy. “I can take care of myself, Aoi.” He put so much hate in that name that it made me feel like he was talking to someone else.

"No, you can't. I know that. That's why I protected you and I didn't tell you anything about this.” Aoi said in a low voice.

“Well, maybe you should trust me, or maybe you should start teaching me everything. Instead of making me live inside a bubble, and I’m kinda sick of that. You lied to me, and it's not just that; you think that I was an idiot. And I'm going to show you, I'm not.” He wanted to get out of there.

“Kou,” Aoi said.

The honey blonde just looked at him. “I'm Uruha for you now.” And started walking far from him, Tora immediately followed him, and that's when I figured out: Aoi was the one who broke his heart, and not just that, I was so certain that he was his brother.
-x-
During the race, Uruha stayed with Tora, and impressively, Yomi remained with Ruki and Reita, such good friends I had. A couple of hours had passed, and it was obvious that Yomi was into the blond and that the other guy was his boyfriend. But for some reason, he wouldn’t mind that Yomi was all over Reita. It was this guy called Kai who seemed like he wanted to kill my friend; Reita noticed it and started talking a lot more with Yomi. Those people were complicated, if you ask me.

I also met Sakito, Kyo, and Hitsugi from our school. Kyo actually talked several words with Reita before getting back to his friends, so I was able to understand that they were competing against each other, although they seemed to have a friendship or something like that. I was really bored by then, although I had to admit I was getting inspired by all those feelings, including the looks that Aoi and Uruha shared right after the black-haired guy got out of his car after winning the race. I was dying to draw them and, lately, to paint them, all those feelings that I was beginning to understand in my head about this infatuation with Tora.

We arrived home around 4:00 a.m. and slept all morning. We were exhausted. That kind of environment was surely heavy; it felt really different from the parties I was used to going to. We woke up around noon and had more lunch than breakfast. Uruha’s cell phone rang when we were eating, and I got used to it calling him that way really quickly; after all, his nickname fit well. And he looked pretty satisfied with that.

“Of course, let me ask,” he said to his caller, then looked at us. “Do you want to go for an ice cream?” he asked with his eyes sparkling. You didn't need to be a genius to know who was on the phone, Tora. I nodded without giving Yomi a chance to say anything. “Sure, we’ll go. We’ll wait for you, kisses.” He hung up.

Half an hour later, we were outside an ice cream shop. We were walking towards Tora’s car, talking about the race from the night before. We remained outside the car, finishing the dessert.

“Do you know how to drive?” Yomi asked Uruha.

The honey blond nodded. “Yeah, but it's not my thing. I'd rather fix them than drive,” he said, finishing his ice cream.

“Do you want to drive the Peugeot?” Asked Tora, he looked very excited.

Uruha bit his lip and said, “I’m not as good as Aoi.”

Tora smiled and said, "It doesn't matter.” He handed the keys to Uruha, who grabbed them.

I wasn't lying when I said I detested driving, but I was experiencing genuine panic. It was one thing to ride in a car with a capable driver, and another to do so with a driver who claimed to lack much driving experience.

“If you want, we can stay here,” Yomi said.

“I know how to drive; don't worry.” Uruha reassured, “I just don’t do it as well as my brother.”

Uruha was driving around the area; he actually drove quite nicely and wasn’t going too fast, which made me feel better. We were going up some road when Tora’s phone alerted him to an SMS. He was next to Uruha, and I was right behind the honey blond, so I could see his expression when he read the message.

“What does it say?” I asked him.

“To watch my right.” He answered, staring at the road. He was going to say something else when that red car got out of nowhere and got close to us, hitting the car. It was not strong enough to crash it, but it made Uruha do a strange move.

“What the hell?” Uruha said, speeding up while the phone rang again.

Tora became paler. “Uru, to your left.” At that moment, another car was approaching; it was blue and started bumping against us.

All Uruha managed to do was speed up more, which made my heart race quickly. “Tora, who are they?” He asked with some panic on his face. He made a rough turn to the right, trying to lose them. Both cars were very close. Another message. “What does it say?” He was driving without leaving his attention to the road; we were on the wrong side, but he was driving with a lot of skill, he avoided a Windstar with both cars behind us.

“What does it say?” Shouted Yomi.

“Don't try to run; we are going to kill you anyway.” Answered Tora

Uruha looked at the rear and said, “I have to lose them.” He said it with amazing security.

Tora dialed another number. “Hiroto,” he said when the phone was answered, “do you remember the last time you said that if I got into trouble not to call you? Well, I’m in serious shit, some guys are chasing us by car.” He spoke quickly while the other cars were next to us, leaving the Peugeot in the middle. “It’s this mafia thing; I can’t do anything scandalous about it; they are going to kill us.”

I became paler trying to figure out what kind of people those two were and why I had become friends with one of them.

“Fuck,” said Uruha, the first time I heard him curse. “Since when is a Renault faster than a Peugeot?” He asked, frustrated. After that, everything happened so fast: he sped up, we were going so fast, and then, with a strong movement, he pulled the handbrake up. The car made a perfect turn and started going to the exact opposite side. The two others didn’t have the same reflexes, so they weren’t able to make the turn, and they passed several meters before understanding what had happened. “How much can I speed this car?” He asked desperately, as we were going between cars in an impressive way. It was a Saturday morning; there weren’t a lot of cars, but it was incredible, just like a movie or something.

“You can speed up, almost to 200 or 220, if you press the turbo.” Tora answered without leaving the phone. “There are two Renault Clios, one red and one blue. Just send patrols or something; maybe it will scare them away. Yeah, yeah, the Peugeot. Okay,” he hung up, “Help is on the way.”

Uruha didn't say anything; he was acting so differently, he even looked older with his eyes fixated on the road. His hands moved merely by instinct; every movement was calculated to the smallest degree. It was like someone else was driving the car.

“Okay, ahead of us, there's a bridge. I will let them reach me, ok?” Uruha explained. “I’m sorry, Saga. I know you're not into this.” He apologized.

“Just be sure we don't get killed or caught or anything,” I said.

“The Renault is also modified, but it's not as good as this one. Besides, the drivers, they don't know what they're doing; they are just driving a fast car.” Uruha continued, “They won’t react on time.” He sped up, and the tires made this strange noise. I turned to see the cars behind us. Uruha started slowing down for both of them to reach us. “When we get to the bridge, I’m going to press the turbo,” he said. I knew he was explaining everything to make me feel better. “We are going to reach 220 kilometers per hour. If I am right, they will deviate drastically, and maybe one of them will crash. Just make sure to tell Hiroto where to find us,” he said to Tora. “Ready?” He asked as soon as the cars were next to us.

I wanted to say no, but there was nothing else I could do. So I had to trust blindly in someone that I knew for two weeks ago. I saw the bridge in the distance, and the cars kept bumping us, and we dodged the cars every time one came from the front; Uruha never deviated; the cars were taking off, and he didn't have to avoid them. I wondered if he knew they were going to take off or if it was mere luck. We were less than a hundred meters from the bridge when I heard the speed change. It was very strong, and I saw Uruha's hand press the blue button on the dash.

An incredible nausea seized me when I felt myself hitting the seat abruptly; the movement of the car was very abrupt due to the speed at which it was possible to maneuver. However, I could see how the red Renault crashed into a gate after not having reacted fast enough to climb the bridge, while the blue car, trying to turn to go up, lost control of the car and crashed into a wall of containment that separated lanes.

Nobody breathed for a second until we normalized the speed and a message reached the cell phone.

"I want the one who was driving your car. He will tear Shiroyama to pieces; kisses, Mana."

Chapter Text

Kai

He hit the wall for the third time, making me flinch at the sound of the impact. He had been upset for who knows how many hours, I dare say weeks. Since he saw Kouyou, I mean, Uruha, in the place of the races, which, to his bad luck, was not the first nor did it seem like it would be the last. Kou began to attend each one of the races, and of course, he did not make my friend happy.

"Aoi", I called him for the third time, holding his arm so he wouldn't hit the wall again. It took more force than I thought, but in the end, he didn't put up any more resistance; he just stayed there, staring at the floor. "Stop torturing yourself," I told him; he didn't answer me, but I could perfectly read his look. I knew him too well.

"What do I do?" he finally asked. We were at my house, just the two of us; we had gone after Aoi had some kind of crisis at school, and we ended up leaving to calm him down. "They won't let me talk to him; I can't explain to him, and the worst thing is that he doesn't even let me get close; he hates me,” he finished with a sigh.

I made him sit on the bed while I affectionately stroked his back to reassure him.

"He doesn't hate you; it's obvious that he feels hurt; you lied to him; let him calm down." I didn't quite know what to say; I didn't know whether to continue helping Aoi with his brother's issues or simply tell him to forget it once and for all. I mean, they were brothers, so it was wrong; on the other hand, I knew how much Yuu loved Kouyou. However, those kinds of situations were more complicated than they seemed. Aoi made a face and nodded.

"Thanks, Kai. I'd probably be going crazy if it wasn't for you." He hugged me back, hiding his face between my neck and shoulders. I felt his breath hit my skin. Neither of us had been this close since Aoi had been with Kouyou. You'd think I'd walk away, but he wasn't the only one who needed it. I also had my own problems; even if they didn't seem to be as strong as the others, they were still my problems, and I hadn't found a solution. Maybe in the end I was too proud to talk to Reita, and maybe Reita wasn't smart enough to realize what had happened a few weeks ago in the hospital. "What's wrong?" Aoi's question woke me from my dreams, and his lips gently kissed my neck.

I denied it. "I would like to forget everything for a second, to feel at peace from time to time." I raised my shoulders, while Aoi's arm began to encircle my waist.

"Let's forget together, Kai," he said as he laid me down on the bed, placing himself on top of me.

It wasn't that I wanted to be with my friend; it wasn't that having sex with him would make me forget about Reita, but maybe it would provide some kind of relief, even if it was just for a moment, and we were both desperately looking for the same thing. Although sometimes preferring pleasure to facing problems is more dangerous than it seems, However, I needed it.

That's why I didn't stop Aoi when his hand began to make its way under my uniform shirt, caressing my waist. We just let ourselves go, and maybe we would forget everything we had in our heads. We kissed intensely, and while Aoi's hands anxiously undid the buttons on my shirt, I didn't stay behind, untangling his tie and opening his shirt with more force than should be. It wasn't long before we switched positions, me on top of him, both shirtless.

"You're beautiful, Kai," the black-haired boy said, caressing my chest, surrounding my nipples with his fingertips, and pinching the left one with more force than it should. It didn't hurt; I was used to Aoi's savagery, and at that moment I needed it like that.

I smiled widely, undoing his belt, and opening his pants under his expectant gaze. It wasn't long before my mouth was around Aoi's member, and he let out hoarse moans of satisfaction. He had my hair tightly attached, imposing a strong and accelerated rhythm. I had already mastered the technique, so to avoid choking when his member collided with my throat, I swallowed because it was easier that way, and we both enjoyed it even more.

"Kai, I can't take it anymore." He pulled my hair hard, pulling me away from his member abruptly.

"I need you," I said, dropping to my knees and leaning against the wall above the bed.

Aoi bit his lip hard. "Say it again," he uttered in my ear behind me, hugging me around the waist while unbuttoning my pants with his left hand and caressing my buttocks with his right one.

"I want you inside of me." I leaned back, leaning against his shoulder, licking the skin within my reach.

My friend stifled a groan as he lowered my pants and boxers, not even bothering to remove them completely, only lowering them to my knees and pushing slightly on my back so that I leaned for better access. I felt the tip of his member at my entrance, and I immediately panicked.

"Aoi," I warned. One thing was that he was a savage, and another was that he really hurt me, and what he was about to do was going to hurt a lot. Out of sheer instinct, I stepped forward, away from the contact. However, he had me around the waist, so it was easy for him to bring our bodies back together.

"I need it, Kai, like this; I promise it won't hurt; I'll stop if it hurts too much." His voice sounded pleading, and it was more than obvious that my friend needed to feel in control of something, and the only thing he had within his reach at that moment was me. For my part, I was not better; I also needed that control, and making the decision would make me feel that way; it was crazy. I ended up nodding, and Aoi smiled slightly behind me.

He positioned himself and began to make his way—or try to make his way—without any preparation, and my entrance narrowed even more as I tried to prevent the trespassing of my body. By mere instinct, I tried to get away, but the grip on the waist did not make it possible. It hurt, it hurt a lot, and sometimes even when I was getting ready, it was difficult to get used to the intrusion. Now, without any kind of dilation, the pain was almost unbearable.

"I have to go in at once," he said without much success because my own body refused to let him pass.

"Are you crazy? Just get me ready, and that's it." The sentence didn't come to an end because Aoi entered abruptly, and I let out a scream without really wanting to. "You bastard, you are a savage. Do you want to kill me or what?" I clenched my fists tightly.

"It was the only way you would stop complaining," he said without moving, in case the pain was unbearable; if he moved suddenly, I would probably start crying. "Tell me when you're ready," he said, stroking my hair, moving a little involuntarily, which actually helped me get used to it, little by little.

I started to nod as Aoi increased the pace of his thrusts; actually, he did a lot without my permission, but I quickly got used to it, and although there were still traces of that intense pain, they were gradually replaced by the waves of pleasure that I was receiving, directly at that point that Aoi found without any problem within me.

The rhythm changed from fast to brutal in less than a minute; it was an urgency, unloading all the frustrations in that way. We were both enjoying it, forgetting even our names for a minute, unloading everything unconsciously.

"Aoi..." I warned, leaning against the wall so I would not fall from such strong thrusts. As soon as I said his name, his hand went directly to my member, massaging it to achieve orgasm.

"You're very tight, a little more, and I won't resist," he said between gasps. Our bodies were sweating, and drops of that sweat fell from Aoi's chest towards my back. I lost track of time and space at the moment my climax came so strong, like being hit by a car at 200 km/h. My friend's scream warned me that he was also finishing, and his thrusts decreased in intensity until he finally stopped.

He came out of me with some care to not hurt me more, and he faded by my side, breathing heavily, while I remained leaning against the wall, still trying to fix my thoughts, which were swirling in a scandalous way. It had been great; I mean, sex with Aoi was always great, except that it wasn't really what I was looking for. It felt good at the time, and now that it was over, I felt worse than before.

I kept my eyes closed, trying to feel better and fool myself into thinking that this was what I really wanted, that everything else didn't matter, and that, in the end, I wasn't doing anything wrong because, in reality, Reita and I were nothing. There would be no problem; there never had been. So why did everything suddenly feel so wrong?

I felt Aoi move to sit on the edge of the bed; his breathing had calmed down, unlike mine.

"Kai," he uttered on a whimper. "Kai, I'm sorry; I didn't want to; I know this is not going to change anything; it's just that..." he didn't finish. When I turned to look at him, his gaze fell to the floor.

I moved as best I could, my entrance burning and throbbing with pain. I sat up even if it was a bit uncomfortable—well, it was very uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't stand. I hiked up my pants and sat next to him, shaking my head. 

"You didn't rape me, Aoi; you had my complete approval," I said to comfort him.

Aoi looked at me and smiled bitterly. "We're crazy." He got up and began to get dressed; he threw my shirt in my face, and we both laughed, breaking the tension of the moment.

"Have you talked to Reita?" Just hearing the question made my stomach drop.

I snorted. "What for? Lately, instead of talking, we've just ended up fighting,” I said, buttoning my shirt. "This is just stupid. I tell you, I shouldn't have said what I said at the hospital; it just came out." I said it regretfully.

"I already told you that he has feelings for you; I know him; I live with him," he smiled.

"You're so gay.

"It's not my butt that hurts."

-x-

It was already night; there were a few hours left before the race, but it was already dark. I was lying on my bed just looking at the ceiling; Aoi had left a few hours ago, and I, well, had remained in my own thoughts; even my homework had been left to oblivion, something quite rare for me. Even though they were condescending to us at school, after Nao's accident, we were all quite tense, and I wish I could say it was only because of that.

Shou had become quieter than usual, Aoi had sudden fits of anger, and Reita and I couldn't talk without ending up fighting. We didn't see Ruki much; he was spending all his time in the hospital, and when we saw him, he always went somewhere else with Reita. I didn't even understand how we managed to win the races; the level of concentration was not optimal for any of us, and I can say that Nightmare en Grey was no better.

I was in my thoughts when my mother opened the door. "Darling, come down to dinner," she said with a radiant smile. I wondered if she would smile the same way if she knew what I was up to. If our parents knew the truth, what would happen? Sometimes I wanted to tell her to leave it all in our parents' hands and let them sort out the mess we'd gotten ourselves into the way they used to when we were kids.

However, it wasn't that easy; my mother couldn't do much, and we didn't have as much money as my friends. Aoi's parents were busy fighting with each other, and Reita's were lost in themselves; while Shou wouldn't see his parents for another six months, Nao's were already worried enough about their son, and there was no sign of Ruki's.

Not even going to the parents of the new boy named Hiroto was an option because, despite the fact that they were policemen, we couldn't accuse anyone without hurting ourselves, and, well, I had no idea what Tora's parents were doing; they didn't seem to be very helpful. We were alone and didn't understand what kind of trouble we had gotten ourselves into.

I sighed, tired of thinking so much about the same issues. I got up to go to dinner, and I opened the door to leave the room, but my cell phone, which was on my desk, started ringing. At first, I thought about not answering because I really didn't want to talk. However, the device did not stop ringing.

I retraced my steps and took the device with some annoyance, not even checking who was calling. "What do you want now?" I answered, not caring who it was; I would have answered any of my friends like that, and it did not occur to me that someone else could have spoken to me at that moment.

"Yes, hello?" An unknown voice spoke.

"Oh, sorry," I immediately corrected my tone. "Who is this?" I asked, a little embarrassed, scratching the back of my neck and pacing around my room.

The voice cleared his throat. "Good evening. I guess I'm talking to Yutaka Uke, right?" The voice asked.

"Yes, that's right." I raised an eyebrow, unable to recognize who could be calling.

"Wow, it's nice to finally talk to you," the voice said cheerfully. "I suppose you don't have the slightest idea who is talking.” He didn't let me answer. "Don't worry; I didn't expect you to. But I assume that you have heard of me." Again, he did not let me answer. "They call me Gackt," he paused on purpose, perhaps to be able to enjoy the panic that invaded my body at that moment. I had to sit on the bed because immediately the world began to spin. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you." He seemed amused by my muteness. "In fact, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time,” he said, sincerely.

"I don't understand why. I'm not a driver, and I'm not even sure how you can know about me.” I rubbed my eyes as I stared at the ground, trying to sound as calm as possible.

Gackt said some words that didn't seem to be directed at me and then began to speak louder on the phone. "You're wrong; maybe you're not a driver, but you're the most important member of the team; you're the leader,” he said with some malice or perhaps emotion. I remained silent, waiting for him to continue, because I really didn't know what to say. "I have noticed that all members of Gazette9 listen to you, and I have realized that your route planning is one of the best I have seen in years. Let's face it, Shiroyama couldn't win if you didn't tell him where to go; you're the mastermind behind the incredible racers on your team." My face felt hot from the blush that his words had caused, and I couldn't honestly believe that the words of that man would have praised me in a certain way. "I realize that if I want to do things my way, I have to talk to you and no one else.” I couldn't see him, but I could swear he was smiling.

I frowned. "I'm afraid I still don't understand,” I said, a little scared.

"Kai, can I call you Kai?" I nodded even though he couldn't see me, though I think he would have even if I said no. "You see, I think I've been a little unfair to you, all these races without knowing why you were doing it; I mean, there's no doubt they like to run, but I guess it must be a little strange for someone to win races and not even understand.” He sounded like an understanding father, at least one who wanted to be one. "Well, now I would like to tell you the reason and ask you to help me." He was silent for a moment.

I couldn't even breathe; I couldn't believe that this man was talking to me and that he was also asking for my help, although I thought that asking for help meant something like an obligation. Anyway, the man behind all our problems was about to reveal the reason to me, and maybe, just maybe, we could think of something to get out of this whole thing once and for all.

"I don't know how I can help you more than we already have," I said, catching my breath and getting courage from who knows where.

"You see, Kai, for a long time I have used the best drivers to do small tasks, you know, distribute "packages", transport objects, and clean up some damage. You know the usual," he said, like it was no big deal. Again, my stomach felt empty; this man was telling me things that I could only imagine happening in mafia movies, and he told me as if it were an anecdote from his vacation. "This time is different; I accepted a job with a nice Chinese family. Everything was going great, until someone else accepted the same job for someone else, a not-so-pretty Russian family,” he explained and actually sounded worried.

I cleared my throat. "That sounds terrible, although I still don't know what part we play in this,” I said honestly and a little desperately. Nerves were starting to get the better of me as my mom continued to yell for me to come down for dinner.

Gackt let out a laugh. "You will see that I need you to do this great assignment,” he replied with a somber voice. "I need them to do it before Mana manages to get a team.” His voice came out as matter-of-factly as if we were talking about potatoes.

I, I could have fainted at that moment.

-x-

"Are you completely sure?" Shou asked me again as he closed the hood of his Mustang.

I rolled my eyes. We were outside his house, about to go to a party. Two days had passed since Gackt's call, and I had only found the courage to tell Shou about the conversation. I didn't know what Reita's reaction could be, let alone Aoi's, and I was afraid they would get violent.

"I still don't understand many things," he admitted, wiping his oily hands with a small cloth. "I mean, it's crazy. One thing is a car race, and another is..."

"Shhhh." I was in total paranoia; letting him say the word out loud was too much for me. I felt like everyone could hear the conversation, and if they did, they would probably call the police.

Shou looked at me seriously and shook his head. "Anyway, we should tell the others, we're all in on this, and now that we know what they want, we have to come up with a plan to get out or something.” I could hear a little panic in his voice, but he was fighting not to show it. Shou was always the most sensible and serious of all of us.

I shrugged.

"I'm scared, Shou. When I spoke with Gackt, he didn't give me many options to get away and... "My voice cut off at that moment. I felt my friend's arms wrap around my shoulders to hug me. I had no brothers, but I was sure that my friends were the closest thing to that feeling.

"Wow, you look cute." Sakito's voice sounded behind me. 

I had to hide the fact that I was about to burst into tears. My friend's face became even more serious, and a hateful look appeared in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked scornfully.

"I was just passing by," he replied cynically. However, I realized that he was squeezing the pocket of his pants with force.

"You have nothing to do around here," Shou warned.

Sakito clicked his tongue and smirked. "As far as I'm concerned, it's a free country, and if I want to walk around here, I will." He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Anyway, are you going to the party tonight?" He blinked in a way that tried to show innocence.

Shou got a little closer to the shorter one. "It's none of your business; now get the hell out of my sight,” he said harshly. Sakito seemed to want to say something else, but he didn't, and Shou didn't seem to notice. "Come on, Kai, I have to get the grease off my hands." He headed towards the door of his house.

I was going to follow him when Sakito quickly stopped me by the arm. "Take good care of him, please," he whispered in my ear and released me. All this happened in less than a minute, and when I had a chance to react, the shorter one was already moving away, and Shou was already waiting for me at the door.

Sometimes those two confused me. As far as I understood, Sakito had left my friend, and even more, he had cheated on him with several people and had the nerve to leave him for someone else. And even if he didn't admit it, I knew that Shou had never gotten over Sakito. It was out of place that the shorter one told me that.

"Hey Shou, are you going to the party today?" I went in and sat in the chair while he washed his hands in the bathroom behind the living room.

"Why shouldn't I go?"

"Because you never seem to have fun; I mean, we do drink and all that, but in the end, everyone ends up drunk except for you." I turned on the television and began to change the channels without looking for anything specific. "Or they end up with someone, and you don't.” I heard him leave the bathroom, and I turned to see him. "Since you broke up with Sakito, you haven't dated or been with anyone. Do you think that is healthy?" I followed him with my eyes as he smeared himself with orange oil so as not to leave his hands smelling.

Shou smirked as he approached the room. "I can't, Kai, I don't feel like it,” he said sincerely, sitting down in the cream-colored single chair. "I don't find someone interesting enough, and if I don't find him, I don't want to have sex.” He looked at the TV.

"I couldn't," I confessed, also looking at the TV.

"That's because you are all animals; if you spent less time sleeping with each other, maybe you would have the courage to say what you really feel to the person you really want." I turned with wide eyes as he smirked. "You adore Reita, but you keep sleeping with Aoi; I cannot understand that." He said.

I frowned. "It's different; Reita doesn't like me. Aoi and I have needs," I explained awkwardly. "Besides, I'm not an animal; you are." I defended myself like a little child, hiding that he was right.

-x-

I don't even remember whose party it was; it belonged to one of those forgettable students, from a forgettable high school, because, as far as I understood, he didn't even go to our school. I only remember that the place was packed and I had promised to talk to Aoi and Reita about the matter with Gackt. According to Shou, it was better at the party because we wouldn't look suspicious, I saw too many flaws in the plan, but hey, there I was among a sea of people looking for Reita.

Someone could think that we wouldn't feel like going to parties or anything after all, but in the end, we were teenagers. In the end, we were irresponsible. In the end, how were we supposed to get out of the problems we were in if we couldn't even control the way we drank?

I saw Reita climbing the stairs, and with all the pain in my heart, I had to go up to find him and talk to him. Aoi was nowhere to be found, but for me, the blond was the most important. Reita was acting very strange; it seemed that he had fought with Ruki since the latter had not attended, and he acted as if he were single.

I looked at my drink, trying to get enough courage to follow the blond. I drank all its contents in one go and ventured towards the stairs. It was not easy for me to get drunk, but for some reason that night, I felt that the alcohol was going to my head very easily. It was already my fifth glass, and it was not going to be my last.

I must admit that I was feeling a little dizzy; although my senses were alert, I was wobbling a bit, but not enough to fall while climbing the stairs. I wish I had been a little soberer to understand why Reita had gone up to one of the rooms with someone else; at that moment, I didn't seem to care much. Blame the effects of alcohol.

I went to the door of the room where I saw him enter and I stayed for a few seconds without knocking; the noise of the party didn't let me hear anything, that or nobody was saying anything.

"You know? I've liked you since I first saw you." I finally heard Reita's voice.

"You're drunk," answered another voice I didn't recognize.

"Maybe that doesn't change the fact that I like you," he drawled.

"You have a boyfriend."

Reita's laughter crashed against my ears. "So, what? Ruki doesn't want to be with me anyway," he said with some regret, although he didn't sound completely sad. "Imagine how pathetic my life is, that my own boyfriend fell in love with one of my best friends, and I would look like the bad guy if I didn't let them be together,” he almost screamed when explaining things. "And my life would become even more pathetic if you knew that..."

His pain had hurt me. I was angry with Ruki for having broken Reita's heart, but I was even angrier with Reita for falling in love with someone who ultimately hurt him. Why didn't he notice me from the beginning? I would never have done something like that to him; it was me he should have been with, not that ungrateful dwarf, and the worst thing was that he felt hurt and had not come to me; he was talking to a stranger. And as if all the problems weren't enough, I felt a thousand times worse. Apparently, everyone was good for Reita except me; I would never have a chance with the most perfect boy in the world.

I went down the stairs stumbling a couple of times; I didn't feel anything; suddenly, even the Gackt issue had been erased from my mind; my chest hurt, and I had an immense desire to cry. I wouldn't let Reita break my heart again; I was sure of that, but at that moment I needed to get it off my chest, and fast, before I collapsed.

However, I had to suppress all those feelings when I realized that Hiroto was coming toward me; he wasn't the one I needed to talk to.

"Kai," he said, quite concerned. "You have to come soon. Shou told me that you're the only one capable of calming him down, and they're going to kill each other." He spoke very fast, and in my state, it was more difficult to understand him. "Just come." He pulled me through the sea of people towards the entrance of the house. I wished to myself that there weren't any more problems, but as always, that was impossible.

Although I must admit that even if I had been sober, the scene would have surprised me just the same. There, in front of the house of the happy party, was an electric blue Nissan Skyline parked, and it wasn't just any car; you could tell how modified it was, at least from the outside, although I had no doubt that it was also modified from the inside. The opaque wheels must have been very expensive, and the car shined like new. The worst part was not the car; it was who was next to the car. Uruha and Tora were almost sitting on the hood, while the boy whose name was Saga was standing in the middle of the discussion. And of course, there were Aoi and Shou; the first one was screaming completely incomprehensible things.

"Are you jealous that my car is better than yours?" Uruha said, smiling.

"It's not the car, but whoever drives it," Aoi answered seriously. "And no, it's not that; tell me where you got it from,” he demanded with clenched fists.

Uruha frowned. "Mind your own business," he said bravely. It was strange to see Aoi's little brother behave like this, but it came quite naturally to him.

"You're not going to run, Kouyou!" The black-haired boy yelled; he was furious.

"You don't tell me what to do, Yuu! Not anymore!" He yelled back; they were making a scene. Kyo, Hitsugi, and Ni-ya had come out to see what was happening. 

"You're afraid that I'll beat you, or what?" Uruha walked around the car and opened the driver's door. "I'm sure Mana would love that," he said, smiling.

It took me less than three seconds to react. "Kou, tell me it wasn't Mana who gave you that car," I said with panic in my voice. Aoi looked at me blankly. "Because if that's the case, you don't have the faintest idea what you're getting yourself into,” I warned, trying not to sound too drunk.

Uruha shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kai; right now there's nothing you can tell me to convince me not to run." He got into the car, followed by Tora and Saga; he started the engine and left.

I saw Aoi collapse from anger and hit the floor. When I was about to approach him, Kyo grabbed me by the shoulder. "You and I need to talk," he told me seriously; even more, he was being scary. I could only nod like a moron and started to follow him back to the party.

Kyo began to move quickly back towards the stairs, and I was following him, struggling not to fall. I was still quite dizzy. Before I got to climb any steps, Reita managed to intercept me.

"Kai, where are you going?" He was really puzzled to see that I was with Kyo.

"It's none of your business, Suzuki," the blond dwarf replied, taking my hand and pulling me up. The alcohol was playing a joke on me. I didn't even understand what was happening.

"Of course it is," he said, angry. "Everything that has to do with Kai is my business." I felt like I was hallucinating.

"Really? I think you lost that opportunity some time ago." Kyo pulled me up, and we locked ourselves in a room.

As soon as the door closed, I began to hear the strong knocks on the door that Reita was making.

Chapter Text

Kyo

It was difficult to concentrate with Reita knocking on the door desperately; besides that, Kai didn't seem to be in his five senses, which for me that was the least important thing; he had mentioned Mana's name, and I needed to know why.

"Kai, are you okay?" I asked him when I saw that he looked like he was about to vomit. I rolled my eyes; the only thing I needed was for him to start crying. "Hey, what's up?" I walked over to the edge of the bed where he was and sat down next to him.

The boy was already having a hard time breathing due to the many tears that were falling from his eyes, and between the scandal of Suzuki and the party, it was hard for me to catch what he was saying. I got up for a moment and went to the door, where he was still hitting eagerly. I hit so hard that I noticed how Kai had jumped in fear.

"DAMN SUZUKI, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR NECK!" The blond cursed a couple of times but finally walked away. I sighed and moved closer to him. "Now, tell me what's wrong with you." I didn't feel like doing the therapist, and even less with a drunk guy, but I needed him to calm down.

He shook his head and cried some more. "I don't think you care,” he said with a sob.

"Well, it's not that I know much about your personal life; it just shows that you're not fine, and I think it's because of that Suzuki moron," I said ironically. Kai smiled slightly. "See? You look cute when you smile, you should always do it." I was being honest; there was no one who didn't think that Kai had a beautiful smile.

The boy smiled again and gradually calmed down. "What are we doing here, anyway? I doubt you've brought me here because of my love problems.” His eyes widened. "Oh no, you're drunk, and you thought that...” he walked away. "I've had enough with Aoi, and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you're not attractive.” He blushed. "I mean, you are quite a bit.” He looked away, playing awkwardly with his hands. "But I'm in love with someone else, and then there's the fake relationship with Aoi, and..."

I smiled unintentionally; it was extremely cute to hear him babble. "Kai," I said while he kept saying incoherent sentences. "Kai... KAI!" He stopped suddenly and looked at me, a little scared. "I'm not trying to hook us up or anything like that.” I wrinkled my nose. "I wanted to talk to you because you mentioned something very important down there,” I said seriously. He blinked several times without understanding what I meant. It took all the patience I had left, and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You talked about Mana." I waited to see his reaction, which was extremely confusing, but in the end, he ended up clearing his throat. "What do you know about him?" I was really interested.

He shrugged. "Not much; I had a conversation with Gackt," he said. He looked extremely uncomfortable, and I, well, let's say that I was trying to process the information without getting upset. His mouth twisted. "He told me he wanted us for a job before Mana got a team to do it,” he explained. I felt faint at that moment. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, ruffling it a bit. "Kyo, you have also spoken with Gackt, right?" I nodded. "Do you know what kind of job it is?" I refused to look at him, so I just denied it. I had no idea, but it wasn't the first time I'd heard of that.

"Then, according to Gackt, Mana doesn't have the team," I said.

Kai nodded as I stood up and walked towards the nearest wall, not sure what to do.

"At least I thought so, but Kouyou showed up talking about him, and I really don't think it's good news." He kept talking even though I was turning my back on him.

"No, it's not good news," I agreed. "The problem is that Kouyou isn't the only one who has had encounters with Mana,” I told him with concern. "Actually, regardless of what Gackt might believe, Mana already has a team." I turned to see his reaction, which was not comforting.

The problem was not that the teams would have to face each other; the problem was what kind of situation we would have to face.

-x-

"Kyo...Kyo..." I heard it in the distance, but I didn't pay attention. "Kyo...TOORU!" The scream almost killed me with a heart attack. I got up so fast from the bed that I almost fell when I got tangled with the sheets.

Takanori looked at me, laughing, with his arms crossed in front of him. The scene seemed quite entertaining.

"What do you want, dwarf?" It's very early and it's Sunday,” I complained, rubbing my forehead, the strong pain of the hangover attacking my head.

My brother frowned. "You're shorter than me. I'm going out.” He twisted his mouth.

I looked for my pants among all the clothes thrown on the floor, and I wrinkled my nose when I realized that there weren't just my clothes that had been thrown away. Who had I fucked? I was so drunk I couldn't even remember having sex with someone, even though it was pretty obvious, actually.

"You're going with Nao," I said. In the end, I resolved to wear some light gray sports pants. "Do you want me to drive you or what?" My little brother shook his head. He looked a little disturbed. "Are you okay?" He shook his head again, and I sighed. "He's going to wake up." I patted him on the shoulder.

"I want him to wake up; I'm just afraid of what will happen when he does," he confessed.

I heard the sound of the shower in my bathroom, and I assumed that the person I had spent the night with was taking a bath, but I ignored that and turned back to Takanori.

"I've told you a thousand times to talk to Suzuki." I saw him roll his eyes. 

"Taka, you are in love with someone else. Why do you have to make Suzuki's agony longer?" I asked.

Although I didn't like Suzuki at all, what my little brother was doing didn't seem very right to me.

"Yes, it's best if you leave him. Although it seems like Reita got over you already." Kai's voice hit my ears. Taka was wide-eyed, while the Gazette9 leader stood behind me with a towel around his waist. "You know he doesn't waste time,” he said with complete contempt.

Ruki narrowed his eyes. "I don't have to listen to this. I'll be back in a bit," he told me and stormed out of my room.

I turned violently towards Kai, who was picking up his clothes from the floor with absolute speed. "You could have saved the comment," I told him dismissively.

Kai smirked wryly. "He'll get over it. As you said, Ruki doesn't feel anything for Reita; it shouldn't affect him." He said putting on his socks.

"But it affects you, right?" Suddenly everything made sense; Kai was lost for the blond.

"That's not your concern," he replied without looking at me.

I sighed. "Do we really sleep together?" I felt a little used. There was nothing worse to make Suzuki jealous than knowing that Kai had slept with me.

Kai shook his head. "You fell asleep before we could do anything,” he explained, getting up. "Which I am infinitely grateful for; I think we both would have regretted it,” I agreed. "Look, Kyo, I am telling you not to meddle in my personal business, and therefore I shouldn't meddle in yours either. But I think you should try to forget Toshiya; he's not a trustworthy person." He stared at me while the color left my face. "You didn't stop calling me that during the journey home." He shrugged. A really uncomfortable silence formed between the two of us until the sound of a horn interrupted the moment. "That's my taxi." He walked out of my room and turned to look at me one last time. "Think about it, and don't worry; I know the way out.” 

I couldn't move until I heard the sound of the taxi driving away.

How many people did I call Toshiya? Because it was a reality that Toshi had rejected me, I've slept with the first person that was in my way since. I felt a pain in my chest, and some tears accumulated in my eyes without coming out completely. Maybe Kai was right, although I did care about the truth. I was condemned to be one of those people without a love life, one of those who stay alone while they see the people around them be happy. Everyone, except me.

The sound of the doorbell brought me out of my reverie. For a moment, I had forgotten that it was the day off for all the servants, so there was no one in the house who could open the door but me, and if they kept knocking with such insistence, it was because they really wanted to see me. I shook my head and went to open the door; the doorbell was driving me crazy.

"I'M COMING, THE FUCK! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RINGING LIKE CRAZY." I yelled as soon as I entered the hall. Who said that having a big house was the best? I opened the door with an angry face, which didn't change at all when I saw who was knocking. "Are you idiots? If you already know that there are no servants today, why keep ringing like that?" In front of me were Sakito, Hitsugi, and Ni-ya. I let them in, heading immediately to the kitchen; I was starving.

"We thought you were asleep," Ni-ya said. "We weren't wrong, it took you ages to open.” He sat in one of the high chairs at the kitchen counter while I took food from the refrigerator. "Do you want something?" For Hitsugi, the question came too late since he was already helping himself to cereal. Sakito shook his head, and that's when "the prettiest" of my friends caught my attention. "Hey Sakito, what happened to your neck?" He was wearing a green scarf, and even so, I could see there was some kind of bruise underneath it, but I couldn't see an end to it. I approached him, but the dark blond immediately put his hands on his neck, hiding it.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

I turned to Hitsugi, who just shrugged and continued to pour milk onto his plate. "Nothing? Have you seen how he left you? Why didn't you tell us that your little boyfriend was in the country?" I was quite annoyed.

I knew perfectly well what my friend did to survive. He had decided to tell us shortly after the race in which Shou had let him win; as he explained to us, only Hitsugi knew, but he wanted to be sure he could trust us. He had two lovers just to be able to eat, study, and have a place to live, and I sincerely hated that. I had offered him my help in the same way as Toshiya, but Sakito had profoundly refused, arguing that it was his problem and that he was fine. The problem was that American moron he had for a second lover, the jerk who gave him the Camaro. He didn't see him very often (thankfully), since the bastard had very specific tastes in what he liked and was proving it the hard way.

Sakito shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Yeah, it's nothing. Don't make a scandal," he told me, trying not to sound upset.

"Nothing?" I repeated. "One day he will end up killing you. Is a Camaro worth that much?" I immediately regretted the comment, and my friend looked a little embarrassed. I didn't want to make him feel like that. "Look, I'm only saying this because I care.” I tried to correct myself, and he nodded in response.

Hitsugi was making a lot of noise while he was chewing the cereal; he ended up swallowing it and spoke with that monotony that characterized him. "We have a bigger problem to worry about." He looked at Sakito sternly and turned to me.

The only thing I could do was pour myself a glass of orange juice and roll my eyes desperately. "There's more? Really? Did we fall into some kind of vortex of problems, or what kind of karma are we paying for?" I shook my head, giving the juice a drink.

"It's Die," he said matter-of-factly.

I widened my eyes. I wasn't very close to Die; however, he was a member of my team, regardless of the relationship he might have with Toshiya.

"What about him?" I wrinkled my nose at the acidic taste of the juice.

"He left the team," Hitsugi replied.

"What? How? Why? Doesn't he realize we're in the middle of a crisis here?" I asked, unable to believe it.

"He says he doesn't want to be a part of the illegal activities anymore and that he better get out before this gets worse," Hitsugi continued. Well, it was kind of obvious if I thought about it, things were going to get worse. "And also said that this is no longer something to help Toshi; on the contrary, we strayed a lot from that, and blah, blah, blah." He rolled his eyes. "If you ask me, that guy is a coward.” Although his voice was monotone, he really seemed annoyed.

That's when Ni~ya snorted, and we all turned to him.

"I think that guy is more into it than any of us," he said. I looked at him without understanding. "Think about it; he never complained or said anything about having to run the races for Gackt; he just accepted it, and that's it. He was the first to know about this mess with the mob, but he never gave any sign of being scared or anything. He has not had any visits, messages, or strange calls; it is as if he were not part of the team. How weird is that? And he's sort of very close with Toshiya, the guy who got us into all of this to begin with.” He took some of his boyfriend's cereal. "Even Ruka was the first to talk to Mana." I twisted my mouth at the mention of the boy who planned all our routes, even if we weren't very close. He always showed solidarity with the cause. "I just want to say that it's too weird that he's like nothing ever happened while we're here..." He paused. "Fucked," he finished.

"That doesn't mean he is in the mob, does it?" I asked awkwardly. "I mean, maybe Mana has other things on his mind, and Die wasn't part of them.” I looked to Sakito for support but couldn't find it. "I'll talk to him," I said regretfully, fearing the worst.

Sakito sighed, taking out his cell phone. He searched for something for a few seconds and showed it to me. I took the cell phone, unable to read what it said from the distance at which I was. I turned pale when I saw the number of messages from Mana, but only the last one was fully deployed.

"Tell Kyo not to worry; I have a replacement for Die, and as for us, I can't wait to meet you."

I read and reread it and still couldn't believe it. I looked at my friend, who only saw me with a certain confusion in his eyes.

"Since when did he start sending you this?" I returned the phone.

"For two days, he's written to me that he wants to meet me." He put the phone away and twisted his mouth.

"You haven't answered him, have you?" I knew he wouldn't, and I just wanted to make sure. Sakito shook his head. "How did Mana know about Die?" Suddenly I realized that the amount of information he possessed was not very normal.

"I'm telling you, Die is keeping things from us," Ni~ya said again.

-x-

I arrived at the race a nervous wreck, and it wasn't even my turn to run; my stomach hurt, and my head kept giving me little pangs from time to time. Mana's messages to Sakito continued throughout the day; the last one had arrived twenty minutes before we arrived at the race location.

"He said the driver was going to be here," said Sakito, who was riding in the passenger seat of my Corvette. I kept having a bad feeling about all of this.

I parked the car, and we both got out. I immediately felt the icy wind hit me; it was too cold that night. I locked the car and put the keys away. I turned to all the people who were already there, trying to locate my companions or acquaintances.

My gaze collided with Kai's, who winked at me. I gave him a grimace and continued looking for someone else. Unfortunately, it was Suzuki who I saw next; he seemed to want to beat me to the ground, so I showed him my prettiest finger and passed by.

I walked directly toward Ruka, who was looking at me with concern. "Did you find a racer?" he finally asked me with a strange gesture.

I shook my head regretfully, shoving my hands into the pockets of my black coat. "I don't want to sound excited, but Mana said he'd send one,” I mentioned inadvertently.

The taller one looked at me as if I were crazy. "And we're supposed to trust,” he said sarcastically, looking back at his tablet.

I shrugged, fervently wishing that I had a cigarette so I could calm down. "The truth is that I don't even know what to trust anymore or who I trust,” I said with absolute sincerity.

We stayed like that for several minutes without saying a word. What I liked about Ruka was that, despite his lack of vocabulary, it was not difficult to be with him. Unlike Hitsugi, who was also quiet but in a heavy-handed way. He was always watching you, as he expected something from you, and every time he opened his mouth, I was afraid that he was going to say something horrible. With Ruka, it was not like that. It was comfortable.

I saw Shiroyama suddenly go by; who knows where he was going, but he was going at full speed. I didn't pay much attention to him until I saw him go by again five minutes later and two more times in a span of ten minutes. Finally, he approached me with a tired and desperate face.

"Need something?" I asked him mockingly when I saw his expression. No matter what, I was never going to like that guy.

"Your mom, bastard," he replied immediately.

"Fuck you, Shiroyama." I got closer, but not too close, as Ruka grabbed my coat.

Aoi snorted. "I heard Die left the team.” I nodded. "Just like that? No threat, thugs, bombs?" I nodded again. "What did you do to make it so easy?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and put his hands on his

 waist.

"I have no idea." I saw him take a pack out of his pants, and I longed to ask him for a cigarette for the sake of my sanity. "I don't think it's as simple as it seems,” he agreed with his eyes as he lit his cigarette. I held out my hand for him to share, which he did with no problem, like we were friends.

"My brother will be your new driver," he said nonchalantly, which nearly caused me to choke on the smoke from the puff I'd just taken. "Do you even smoke?" He snatched the cigarette from me.

I coughed a little. "What did you say?" I asked, unable to believe it; between the affirmation and the tranquility that Aoi gave off, I didn't know who was going crazier, him or me. "How do you know that?" He didn't answer me; he just sighed. "Shiroyama," I warned after two minutes of silence.

"He just told me," he said with some disappointment, offering me the cigarette again and looking everywhere except at me.

I took a puff, letting out the smoke slowly. "How come he tells you and not me that I'm the team captain? And how come you're so calm?" That was the truly unusual thing about the whole situation.

Aoi smiled. "Because he won't compete against Tora,” he said. "I'll be the one to stop him.” He snapped his fingers as he let the cigarette rest on his lips.

I widened my eyes. "Do you plan to run against him? Did you go crazy?" By now, officially, we had all lost our minds.

He shook his head. "On the contrary, he will stop running if he is unable to beat me. Do you think I don't know why he does it? He's taking revenge on me." I wrinkled my nose as I remembered the fateful affair between Shiroyama and his younger brother.

"It's not that easy," Sakito's voice made us look away.

The black-haired boy looked at him badly. "Why won't it be easy?" He asked skeptically.

Ruka finally looked up. "Let me guess, Uruha has to win," he blurted out like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Sakito nodded. "Is it not obvious?" He asked, looking at Shiroyama. "It's the first race that he runs; Mana wants to test him as a driver. Do you think that if he loses everything will be okay? He was stupid enough to accept the Skyline." He ended up rubbing his neck, which he was still covering with a scarf.

"You have to lose," I said seriously. "Only you are skilled enough to lose and make Uruha win." I had no doubt about what I was saying.

Aoi clenched his fists. "A BMW against a Skyline modified by the best mechanic I know,” he pronounced.

"A rookie against the best racer here," I completed.

Half an hour before the race.

Chapter Text

Ruki

You know when things are not going to end well, and what's more, we know it so well that it surprises me that we don't run away from those situations. In my case, I was dying to do it, but it was more than obvious that I was not going to leave my best friend alone while he was bragging about something that was NOT going to turn out well.

"I can beat him," Uruha assured me, overconfident. Certainly, sometimes it was hard for me to recognize him when he behaved like that, but I liked the way he was now; he had more confidence in himself, he was no longer so easily fooled, and he still had vestiges of the Kouyou I knew, at least when he was with me, because if it was something regarding Aoi, the story was completely different.

"No, you can't Uru," I told him, trying not to sound rude or like I did not trust him. "I'm not saying you're not good,” I corrected when I saw his expression. "But you need to understand that Aoi is the best runner around here," I explained, trying to reason with him.

Uruha rolled her eyes. "I modified the car myself; I can beat him. My Skyline is much better than Reita's BMW,” he tried to convince me.

I shook my head. "It's not about the car; it's the racer." We stared at each other, and I could recognize a bit of doubt in his eyes, but he didn't say anything else. At least if he wanted to do it, he couldn't, because the organizers began to call the drivers to start the race.

Feeling nervous as hell, I approached my brother, who looked even worse than me, biting his nails and moving his leg excessively fast. It was not difficult to get Ruka to show us on his tablet the trajectory that they had to follow in the closed circuit.

Sakito was next to me. "Don't worry," he said quietly. "Whatever has to happen will happen." It seemed that he was saying it more to himself than to me, although I appreciated the gesture.

They started less than five minutes later, and I think I wasn't the only one who felt a hole in my stomach, because both Gazette9 and Nightmare en grey had strange grimaces on their faces.

To no one's surprise, Aoi was the first to take the lead, and for some miraculous reason we were all gathered in the same place. I could hear Kai speaking through the headphones just like Ruka; we knew what was going on with both of them.

"You have to go straight," Kai ordered without taking his eyes off his tablet. "Uruha hasn't reached..."

"What the hell?" I heard Aoi say, and by mere instinct, I turned to Ruka, who on his tablet showed how Uruha had crossed over, completely blocking his brother's path. Aoi hadn't been able to hit the brake fast enough, so he had to turn sharply left to avoid the Skyline, and he lightly bumped into the parking lot wall that was part of the loop.

Few runners dared to cross that way, basically because it was very risky, to ensure that both cars escaped unscathed. Uruha started a minute later, taking the path to the left since he had managed to lose Aoi. The drivers had to follow a circuit, but they did not necessarily have to follow the route.

"Go right, Aoi reversed and is after you," Ruka informed with a calm voice; it was obvious that he was highly concentrated.

"Aoi, forget it; get another one; try to pass him; you're just chasing him," were Kai's words. 

The black-haired boy flatly refused and followed behind his brother.

Uruha stopped dead and did a full 180-degree turn. The stability of the car was impressive, and there was no doubt that it had been his own doing. No car in normal conditions could have made that kind of tight turn without drifting or losing the stability of the car, which saved him a wide corner.

"Slow down!" Kai yelled at Aoi, and the response he got was a laugh.

Aoi didn't slow down; he jerked the wheel to the right trying to get around the turn, but a miscalculation caused the entire left side of the BMW to slam into the rear of a parked car. A huge screeching sound was heard at that moment.

"Son of a bitch, he did it on purpose," I heard Reita say.

Aoi caught up with Uruha without any problem, even though he no longer had his front light. Neither of them had reached even halfway, and they had already caused too much chaos; if they continued like this, they would draw the attention of the police. Sometimes it happened that the police persecuted us despite not being the modality. When it happened, one had to get out or lose them before finishing the circuit.

"In front of you," Ruka said. "There are three patrol cars; slow down.” There was no response, but the Skyline stopped near the vehicles.

"Listen," Uruha said. "A madman in a BMW is chasing me.” He pretended to be scared. "He's even hit a parked car already," he breathed heavily. 

We all looked at each other without understanding what was happening. Two of the patrol cars started their engines when they saw the BMW.

"Fuck," I heard Aoi on the comlink. He backed up with impressive dexterity, avoiding all the cars that were coming towards him since he was already going in the opposite direction and in reverse.

Uruha continued on his way, and I could swear he was smiling.

"Aoi, you have to lose them!" Kai yelled, unable to believe what had just happened.

On the other hand, Ruka gave instructions to Uruha to reach the end of the circuit.

"There are two of them, Kai. How the hell do you expect..." Aoi stopped talking because he realized that he was only two streets away from finishing, at least I know that because he told me later; he had inadvertently managed to overtake Uruha. He looked around, analyzing the situation in less than three seconds, and found the perfect solution to mislead the patrols and reach the goal. "Where is Kouoyu?" he asked desperately.

Kai looked at Ruka. "He'll be here in less than ten minutes,” he replied, and Kai passed on the message.

"A long time, I'll beat him," he answered, accelerating.

"What are you doing?" The leader's voice was choppy.

Aoi took a small, one-lane street, made two right turns, and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about your car,” he finally said.

Reita paled at the moment when Aoi braked and reversed again, colliding directly into the police car behind, and it collided with the second one. He had calculated perfectly where an alley was and had managed to get the last patrol car to hit the wall squarely, as well as taking a hit from the patrol car ahead.

It was a millisecond of silence.

"ARE YOU SICK?" Kai yelled at him angrily. "Get out of there before it gets worse.” I heard the BMW started easily despite the earlier maneuver.

"Where is Kou?" he asked again; he was dangerously close to the goal.

"One street behind you," Kai replied.

I'll never know if what happened was real or if Aoi faked it all. He was ahead, and it was more than obvious that he was going to beat Uruha, when the car turned off, just like that. The Skyline passed by less than a minute later, leaving the BMW behind and getting to where it needed to be before Aoi.

"The car won't start," the black-haired boy finally said, with a tone I couldn't recognize.

-x-

"Don't worry, young man; the insurance will pay for all the damage, including the damage to the patrol cars," said a tall, slightly obese man. "Those criminals, it is not enough to steal the car; they must also cause damage," he shook his head. "Are you sure you didn't see anything?" He asked again.

Reita denied. "As I told you, I was with my friends, and when I came back, I realized that the BMW was missing; that's when I called the police,” he explained with an incredible performance.

"I swear I'll pay you, love," Aoi said once the insurance guy had left.

The blond looked at him, wanting to kill him. "You don't have to pay me anything, and you know that, but I would love for you to be more aware of the things you do. And anyway, did you let him win or not? I mean, at least you owe me an answer." He sat next to me.

We were all in Reita's room the morning after the race. Shou, as always, only had a grimace drawn on his face, while Kai looked angrier than usual. Aoi immediately changed his expression upon hearing my boyfriend's question.

"I don't know what you're talking about," was the only thing he answered. "I already told you a thousand times that the car didn't start," he explained, a little annoyed.

"Have you talked to Uruha?" asked Shou with that serious tone that characterized him.

Aoi clicked her tongue. "Not even when the race ended. Actually, I want to talk to Kyo; surely he knows if he talked to Mana or what the hell" he pulled at his hair frustratingly.

"Kyo doesn't know anything," Kai said with a tremendous calm, which made everyone turn to him. "What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"And how do you know?" Aoi asked without his serious face disappearing.

Reita shifted uncomfortably next to me. "They talked on the day of the party; I suppose that was it.” He shrugged, trying to downplay the matter.

Kai blinked at him several times. "Yes, that's what we talked about,” he said quickly.

"The talk must have been very long for you to wake up at my house," I said suspiciously.

By that moment, I already hated Kai; I couldn't stand him for a bit, and it wasn't my fault; I didn't care about the boy until he started making sarcastic comments about my relationship with Reita. It was obvious that he was in love with my boyfriend, and although our relationship was no longer completely sincere, he was still my boyfriend, and Kai didn't have to interfere. The truth was that I expected a reaction from Aoi, not what happened next.

Reita got up violently from the chair. "DID YOU SLEEP WITH KYO!?" He yelled madly.

"No," was Kai's flat answer. "I just love it that this dwarf says something and you automatically think I slept with someone," he said calmly.

"I didn't give you permission to call me a dwarf," I answered, challenging him.

Aoi nervously looked at Shou, while Kai laughed wryly. "I certainly don't need your permission,” he finished emphatically.

I was about to answer him when Reita interrupted me.

"I didn't say that for you." He remained standing. "Kyo sleeps with the first person he finds, and I find it very sad that you've fallen into such a trap," he said spitefully.

Kai got up too. "So the only reason Kyo would sleep with me is that I was the first person that crossed his path," he said, offended. "Bravo, Reita; you do know how to make someone feel special." He clicked his tongue and grabbed his things, ready to leave.

"I'm protecting you," he told him, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Kai turned even more annoyed. "And for that matter. What the fuck do you care what I do or don't do?" He pointed at me. "There is your little boyfriend; protect him and LEAVE ME ALONE!" It sounded almost like a plea. 

He then left the house, slamming the door.

We stayed in awkward silence until Reita snapped again. "Why is he behaving that way?" He pointed to the door, offended. "It's obvious that I care about him; we know what Kyo is like, and besides, he's dating you." He said this to Aoi using an excessively sharp tone of voice.

Aoi looked at him without moving. "You are the greatest asshole," was all he said.

-x-

"I'm going crazy," I said, throwing the rest of the cigarette on the floor and putting it out with my foot.

"To tell you the truth, you earned it; you shouldn't have said that," said Uruha, shrugging his shoulders.

I frowned. "Maybe, but I wanted Aoi to make a scene, not Reita." I stopped when I saw my friend's expression. "How are you?" I asked. 

It was Sunday afternoon, and the two of us were enjoying some time together, sitting on the sidewalk in front of my friend's house.

"Weird," he replied. "My parents just fought; my mother is upstairs crying, and my father knows where. I haven't seen him much lately; since the thing with Yuu happened, things are getting worse every time," he smiled sideways. "At least, before I could talk to him.” He stared at the floor.

"You can talk to me," I said, smiling.

He also smiled. "Thank you, Taka. So what did Reita do?" He diverted the subject.

I flatly shook my head while lighting another cigarette. "I don't know why Kai bothers me so much; I mean, I know that Reita and I should break up, but... I'm still his boyfriend, right?" I took a puff of the cigarette.

"You don't use the bike, and you don't want to give it away," he said mockingly.

I raised my eyebrow. "Basically," I agreed. "Where did you learn those phrases?" I smiled instantly.

Uruha smiled. "Saga keeps saying things like that," he answered amused. "I don't understand what doesn't work with Reita; I mean, you seemed very much in love and everything. I don't think it was just Nao," he said curiously.

I sighed; even hearing his name made me feel sick to my stomach and short of breath.

"I don't know; you're right, it wasn't Nao. There were too many things, and at first everything was going very well, until I realized that Rei is... dominant? No, I don't think that's the right word; that is, he's a gentleman; he opens the door for me, takes care of me, and pays for everything." I ran out of air.

"Everything you like doing," my best friend completed.

I nodded. "Exactly, I'm usually the one who pays, but with Reita." I twisted my mouth. "It's like I'm the girl in the relationship. There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm not like that. With Nao..." I couldn't help but smile. "Nao is different; even though he's older than me, he lets me take care of him and pamper him. I love how he is intimidated every time he talks to me, things like that." I shrugged. "I suppose that our personalities are alike, and mine and Reita's collide." I clapped to do the simulation.

"You're completely lost over him," was his only response.

I opened my mouth to answer him when my cell phone began to ring; the number made my soul drop at my feet.

"Who is it?" The brown-haired man asked me when he noticed that I didn't answer. "Ruki, answer." He woke me up from my thoughts.

I opened the cell phone and answered. I feared the worst, although I was no longer sure how much worse it could get. "Hello?" I said with a shaky voice. The call did not last more than ten minutes.

"What's the matter? Who was it?" Uruha asked me once I hung up. I was unable to say anything; I was too shocked by the news, and I didn't know how to react. "Taka, you're scaring me.” He looked worried. He grabbed my arm and began to pull on it, demanding an answer.

"Nao," I was finally able to pronounce, and the pulling stopped. A whole minute passed before I could continue with the sentence, and I looked at Uruha carefully. "He woke up."

-x-

I wasn't surprised to arrive at the hospital together with Uruha and see that Shou, Reita, Aoi, and Kai were already there. My first impulse was to hug my boyfriend, but for some reason, I held back; I really didn't feel like it. All I wanted was to see Nao, to know that he was okay, to be able to talk to him. It was driving me crazy, and not being able to show my concern in front of everyone else made it even worse.

"He's in a room; he's not in intensive care anymore," Reita informed us when he saw us arrive. I felt that a huge weight was leaving my shoulders; some tears even accumulated in my eyes, but they didn't come out completely. "His parents are with him now; they don't want to overwhelm him too much; after all, he hasn't heard from the outside world for quite some time.” He made a nasty face.

"Will any of us be able to see him?" I asked with a more shaky voice than I wanted.

Reita stared at me for what seemed like ages; for a moment I thought he was going to say something about my feelings for Nao, which made my stomach drop, but then again, he didn't know anything, did he? Why should he know? The only one who knew was Uruha, and it wasn't like my friend was gossiping or something; however, the way Reita looked at me didn't make me feel very safe, so I ended up diverting my gaze to the floor without knowing what else to say.

"Apparently only two of us will be able to stop by to see him, for the same reason, so he doesn't feel bad or something," Kai explained in a monotone.

I agreed with a lump in my throat. Of course, one of those two would not be me; that is, any of them had more right to see him than me because they knew him for longer; they were his best friends, teammates, blah, blah, blah. I was just Reita's boyfriend. And I hoped with all my heart that for Nao I wasn't just that. I wanted to hit myself against the wall.

"I'd like to come in if you don't mind," said Shou a little more seriously than usual, which for him was already saying a lot.

They all nodded without refuting anything, and Reita looked at me again I could feel it, but I didn't dare to look up from the floor. They were silent for a few minutes until the blond finally spoke.

"I think you should go as well, Ruki," he said with no expression in his voice.

I looked up in disbelief; I had to blink many times before I could see Reita clearly. There he was looking at me without any gesture on his face; he remained serious and even calm because in his mouth a half smile was drawn as he nodded to me confidently.

"Rei..." I heard Kai; they immediately looked at each other, and the blond looked at me again.

"You've been here longer than any of us; you deserve it." It was Aoi who uttered the words that broke the strange atmosphere that had formed.

I didn't smile; I just nodded to show my appreciation. I turned to Reita; his countenance hadn't changed; I think he hadn't even blink.

Finally, after about 10 minutes of long waiting, Nao's mother came out and gave me a big hug, you could tell she had been crying with happiness.

"He's awake and making jokes for a change." She smiled as she shook her head. She wiped away some tears with a handkerchief she had in her hand and turned to us. "At the moment, only two of you can go; the others will be able to see him tomorrow and during the week. They were indications from the doctor; believe me, if it were up to me, I would let all of you in; I know that would do Naoyuki good, but indications are indications." She explained in a serious tone. "Anyway, who will come to see him?" She immediately turned to me, which caused a severe blush on my cheeks.

"Ruki and me," Shou warned, taking a small step forward.

His mother seemed satisfied, as she nodded immediately. "Down the hall, it's room 407.” She waved her hand.

Shou and I walked down the hall, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. I couldn't help but look back and notice the strange scene that had taken place in the small waiting room. Aoi looked sideways at Uruha, who was leaning against the wall playing with his cell phone; there was no trace of Reita anymore, and I noticed that Kai was running towards the bathroom. Shou was a bit ahead of me when I looked back to the front. I walked a little fast to catch up with him, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

"I'll go first," the auburn informed. "Maybe I'll take less time," he kept looking at the door. I felt pretty stupid just nodding when he wasn't looking at me; rather, he saw me or didn't care at all about my opinion.

As he said, he didn't spend more than ten minutes in his room, although it was the longest ten minutes of my life. I didn't know what to do; taking out my cell phone and starting to play wasn't the right thing to do in my situation; walking down the hall either; it wasn't like I was waiting for my son to be born or anything like that. The only thing I could do was lean against the wall and bite my nails like crazy while I stared at the clock nailed to the top of the door next to Nao's.

Shou left the room with a slight smile on his face, patted me on the back, and headed for the waiting room. I swallowed as I approached the door and stretched out my hand. I was shaking too much; I had to take a deep breath to calm down a bit and finally turn the handle.

The first time I saw him after the accident, it was one of the most painful images I had ever seen. He was in intensive care, and it was very difficult to see him in a coma, connected to so many cables and tubes, with so many blows and plaster casts all over his body. To be honest, I was expecting something similar when I entered the room.

However, it was nothing like that; there was Nao, my Nao. He still had the cast on his leg and the collar on, most of the bruises on his face had completely disappeared, and of course, he was no longer connected to any machines. The wonderful thing about it was the beautiful smile on his face when he saw me come in.

"Ruki," he said in a raspy voice. "I didn't think it would be you who..."

"The important thing is that you're okay." I smiled, approaching a little more abruptly than I would have wanted. Without thinking for a second, I approached him and gave him a small kiss on his lips. Nao opened his mouth but couldn't say a word; he was quite red, and I hoped it wasn't bad for his health. "You gave me quite a scare,” I said hoarsely. "For a moment, I thought I wouldn't be able to tell you face-to-face what I feel."

"Ruki... that day," he stammered.

"Let me finish."

Two days before his accident, Nao and I were leaving the cinema; it wasn't the first time we'd gone, since Reita didn't like horror movies and the only one willing to accompany me was Nao.

"This time it really scared me," he told me once we were in his car.

I laughed out loud. "It was noticeable; you almost broke my arm," I winced.

"Sorry," he said, rather embarrassed.

"You look cute scared," I agreed without really thinking.

Nao looked at me without really understanding what had just happened; his gaze went immediately to the wheel.

"Ruki, do you love Reita?" he asked me quietly.

I frowned immediately. "Why you ask?" I raised my eyebrow, still slightly annoyed, because I was having such a good time. Why would he have to bring Reita up on the subject?

He shrugged. "The things you do with me, you should do them with him, the things you tell me or do for me. Shouldn't they be for him? I'm confused,” he finally admitted. "You confuse me, and I'm really tired of feeling like this." He closed his eyes.

I felt a little jump in my heart. I knew exactly what he was referring to, but at that moment I didn't want to accept it.

"What are you talking about?" I knew the answer, but I refused to accept it; I wasn't ready.

"I like you a lot," he confessed without looking at me, even with his hands fixed on the wheel without the car moving. "I can say that I have fallen in love with you; however, you are with one of my best friends. I do not understand your behavior. I don't understand anything, and now I'm just hurting myself, which I don't want to do anymore. So tell me once and for all how you feel and what I can do about it." He stared at me.

"Do about it? What are you thinking of doing?

"If you feel the same way, I can talk to Reita, and we could get over it together. If you don't, I think this is the last time we go out like this.” He trembled a little as he said it, but he sounded determined.

At that moment I did not know how to respond. I ended up getting out of the car and telling him that I did not have an answer to what he was telling me, that I was confused, and that it was better that we not see each other again. Knowing that he was right and that I was hurting him, I told him that we would talk later, although I had not the slightest intention of doing so. I didn't talk to him, and then the accident happened.

"I shouldn't have left like that," I told him, sitting down on a small chair next to his bed. Nao didn't have that much mobility because his ribs were still recovering, not to mention his lung; even if he had already woken up, he was still delicate. "I was a coward and stupid." I smiled when I saw that Nao tried to nod.

"I realized how you felt when you ran away like that; I guess it has to do with Reita and all the trouble we're in," he said, looking ahead.

I nodded. "Now it's completely different, and I'm not saying it for Reita; I'm saying it for myself. It's ironic that these things have to happen, and I hate myself for it, but it gave me strength to understand that I want to be with you and that my relationship with Reita is an absolute lie," I said, embarrassed. I didn't really have a face to look at him; I felt so bad.

"You're still afraid," it wasn't a question.

"Yes," I confessed. "I don't want to make any more problems than we already have.” I twisted my mouth.

"Life is full of problems, Ruki," he said without looking at me. "Having someone by your side while you solve them is what makes it worth it.” He smiled.

I looked at Nao in a different way, more deeply. He was no longer the same, and I loved that; suddenly I felt a strength that I thought I had lost after so many problems. He was fine, and we would be fine.

The moment would have lasted longer if it hadn't been for the fact that my cell phone began to ring insistently. I was surprised to see Uruha's number on the screen, so I answered without knowing what to expect.

"Ruki, please come soon," he said, sounding agitated. "Reita and Kai are going to kill each other."

Chapter Text

Aoi

I don't know how I managed to separate them, but there was no doubt that when he wanted to, Reita had impressive strength. Shou stopped Kai, who was still struggling and trying to get away to throw himself on the blond once more. I held Reita by the waist, who no longer made the attempt to even move but just breathed heavily. However, I must admit that the look he gave Kai was enough to make him look frightening.

For some strange reason, none of the four of us spoke. Kai was usually the voice of reason; he scolded us if we did something wrong or let ourselves be carried away by our impulses. Now, what were Shou and I supposed to do? I certainly didn't see myself scolding anyone, and neither did Shou. I felt like I didn't even have the voice to tell them anything, even if I thought they had gone completely mad. Reita was bleeding from his lip and Kai from his eyebrow, but the visual contact between them never broke. Without saying a word, they seemed to be killing each other with their minds.

We were in the hospital bathroom, and I couldn't stop thinking that it was ironic that in one of those same bathrooms, I had lost my mind and Nao's accident had just happened. At that time, it had been Kai who had calmed me down, Shou who had motivated me, and Reita who had understood me. Now all the roles were reversed, and not in a pleasant way. I wanted to say something, but the words just wouldn't come out, although I was sure they would have been useless. My two friends seemed to be in a completely different world.

"What happened?" It was Ruki who broke the strange atmosphere in which we were submerged. He raised an eyebrow at us, not seeming surprised at all. Kouyou was right behind him.

Kai smiled, and I can swear it was the most sinister laugh I've ever seen from him. Well, Reita, he's here. Ask him, but don't come looking for me when the answer is not what you expect." He managed to get away from Shou with a jerk, but he didn't move.

We were all static. I felt Reita tense in my arms.

"I don't need to ask Kai; I already told you. I don't understand what else you want," he said seriously, not with contempt, the tone that the other was using.

"You can't tell me those things and expect everything to be easy, Reita; the world doesn't work that way." I suddenly felt terribly uncomfortable; we shouldn't have been listening to that, but it seemed impossible to be able to leave. I noticed Kai's voice crack as he said things. "You can't expect me to believe what you tell me when I know that your boyfriend is in love with someone else, and it weighs on you more than you're willing to accept." The words were so direct that if they had been knives, we would all have fallen dead.

Ruki's eyes widened, and he began to stutter. "I, how?" He looked down at the floor.

It was Shou who spoke. "That doesn't matter, Ruki; we knew," he reassured.

Reita sighed. "Don't worry, I won't make a fuss,” he said calmly, which caused a snort from Kai.

"What is really bothering you?" Ruki spoke with an annoyed tone and surprised us all. Kai looked at him indignantly. "Did you hit him because he still didn't want to go out with you? Because despite everything, doesn't he want to be with you?" If things could get worse, Ruki did it without any problems. Kai even paled. "Come on, Kai, face it. Since when are you in love with Reita?" he asked venomously.

Shou approached Kai when he noticed that he had closed his fists. "That's the least you should be interested in," he replied to Ruki coldly.

"Really? Do you think I didn't notice how you looked at me? How did you see him?" Ruki demanded. "From the moment we started dating. How long, seriously?" He sounded so haughty that he even looked taller.

"Kai," Reita started to speak. "You, since when?... I thought..." He couldn't finish the sentences.

Our leader seemed about to explode, and I was unable to do anything. How in the hell was I supposed to get into the discussion? It was getting too personal, which didn't stop it from heading straight for disaster, because that was exactly what was about to happen. What I didn't know was who would have to pick up the pieces, Reita or Kai.

Kai laughed wryly.

"Since when? Seriously? You are an idiot, Akira Suzuki. I love you," he said, exhausted, raising his arms and letting them fall. I've loved you since the first stupid moment I met you. I was just an annoying shadow to you, Aoi's friend.” He waved his hands. "I've loved you even when you didn't even turn to look at me because, of course, everything has to revolve around Reita,” he said mockingly. "And there you always had me; every time you needed something, you had something, you felt bad, there you had me as your moron. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU," he cried, with tears rolling down his cheeks. It was extremely painful to see one of my best friends in that state and not be able to do anything for him. "I put up with too many things, from waiting for you to notice me as a friend of yours to hanging out with Ruki. I endured seeing how Nao and this dwarf fell in love, and you didn't even know; it hurt me not being able to do anything about it. It hurt me when you realized what was happening and you preferred to act like it was nothing instead of turning to see who was really there with you always. And now that your pride is hurting more than anything because of Ruki, do you come and tell me that you are in love with me? And you really expect me to believe you?"

My brain rumbled at hearing that. Thats what had happened, and that's why they had fought. I looked at Ruki, who was biting his lower lip hard; he seemed to be sorry for what had just happened. I let go of Reita out of inertia. Of course, I knew what he felt; I've known it all this time. But I never thought that this was going through my blond friend's mind; he had never mentioned anything about Kai. Which made Kai's theory true: that he only approached him because he was feeling hurt. However, it also seemed unlikely to me that, in recent weeks, Akira had taken behaviors with Kai that he had never taken since — me and Kouyou —

"And you expected me to read your mind, right?" That was Reita's answer. "My thing with Ruki is none of your business," he yelled. "My decisions or my questions about that aspect should not matter to you. What should matter to you is what I say.” He clenched his fists again.

Kai shook his head. No, Reita, not like that. Not with Nao recovering; not when you don't even know where you stand with your relationship; not when your actions have always shown me otherwise," he kept crying.

"And you, being with Aoi, showed me many things," he claimed with intensity. "After all, neither of you bothered to tell me you'd put on a farce,” he claimed.

I was about to answer when a nurse entered the bathroom, leaving us all silent.

"Boys, I'm going to have to ask you to remain silent or leave the establishment; the scandal you are causing is bothering the patients," she said quietly.

"Don't worry, there's nothing else to talk about," Kai said and bolted. The blond tried to follow him, but I held him back; things were too hectic already. The nurse came out of the bathroom, leaving us alone again.

Ruki looked up.

"Rei, I was going to tell you. I'm sorry," he said in a shaky voice.

"Don't worry; if you're really in love with Nao, I won't get in the way. I also should have been honest with myself from the beginning," he said, more to himself than to Ruki.

"You couldn't have known." It was Kouyou who spoke for the first time. "If Kai and Aoi decided to set up such a farce, they must also live with the consequences of it," he said in a soothing voice.

-x-

I didn't see Kai for the rest of the week, and Reita looked like a walking zombie. Only when we saw Nao did he pretend that everything was great. While I was a bundle of nerves, at any moment there could be a race, and my team was a total disaster, and I was a total disaster. Everything was a mess.

"Love sucks," Reita said, entering the room I used in his house. "It's useless." He let himself lie down on the bed. I had to bring my legs up to prevent him from crushing them.

I left the car magazine on the furniture and looked at him with a bit of pity. "Rei, do you really like him?" I hadn't dared bring it up until he was ready. He was face down and hidden under the covers; I saw him nod. "Why didn't you say anything?" I raised an eyebrow.

He turned to me, still lying down. "Because I'm an idiot,” he replied simply. "Then you began to go out, and I had no choice but to resign myself." He rested his head on his hand, resting on his elbow.

I twisted my mouth. "I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking that all this mess is my fault.” I shifted uncomfortably.

"It is," he said mockingly. "Well, in a certain way, there was no other way," he shrugged. "Maybe if you had trusted me from the beginning." He looked hurt.

I sighed. "It's not that easy; it was hard for me to accept it too. I think doing the charade with Kai was the only escape I found, but if I had known from the beginning how you felt, I never would have asked him. He saw you as a lost cause, and that's why he accepted." I explained, trying to sound as calm as possible. I knew my friend wasn't going to get angry, but I preferred to prevent it. "I am going to tell you something. You're not that bad; Kai is hurt and thinks you're only looking for him to have an escape, the same way I did. He has the right to be like that; you never showed anything until recently." I swallowed saliva.

"Until I realized that what you had was a hoax." He smiled sideways. "I think that at that moment my feelings came to light, even though I wanted to push them away, and when the thing with Nao happened, that conversation in the bathroom..." He threw himself back on the bed, this time on his back.

I blinked. "You still have a chance; it's not like it's impossible,” I said bitterly.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Why doesn't it feel like it?" He huffed a little desperately.

"When you're in my situation, then you talk to me about impossible things." I just wanted him to understand that if he wanted Kai, he had to fight for him. Reita was used to getting things when he wanted them. Even with people, it was the same situation. "On the bright side, things can't be worse." I grabbed the magazine again and opened it to a random page.

"And you, who made you the heart doctor?"

"Idiot," I said.

Reita continued to toss and turn on the bed. "Hey, Aoi.” I made a sound to let him know I was paying attention even if I didn't look up from the magazine. "The date is approaching," he said, a little scared. "Aren't you nervous?" At least, he seemed to be.

"Honestly, I'm more worried about my brother than about us. I know that we will be able to do the job, but I don't know what will happen to the team that doesn't make it." I felt a pang in my head. "They can't make us compete like this.” I swallowed hard. "And the worst thing is that I have no idea how to get out of it." I ended up leaving the magazine behind.

"I talked to Kyo," I nodded; I hate the guy, but like it or not, we were in the same trouble together. "We both agreed that we should divide the work, so neither of us would be competing with the other," he said, blinking excessively.

I settled better. "That would mean neither of them would get the job done, wouldn't it be more dangerous?" And then the solution to our problems came to me like someone had hit me with a rock. "We have to make them both believe they have what they want,” I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Reita looked at me blankly. "Look, if you have a piece of candy and both people want that piece of candy, you would think that they would have to fight over the piece of candy, right?" Reita nodded. "But if you have two sweets, there doesn't have to be a fight,” I explained.

My friend's face lit up. "Are you talking seriously? We can't buy or match the other's candy,” he said without understanding.

"Nobody knows that we give the candy to a child, then, without him realizing it, we take it away and give it to the other child," I explained.

It seemed that Reita's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. "Do you know how dangerous that would be?" Despite questioning me, he seemed to agree completely with me.

"Can you think of something better?" I couldn't keep the emotion out of my voice.

Reita shook his head and smiled as well.

"We would have to be very fast."

-x-

"Are you crazy?" Kyo said. Without being able to believe it, we were at the devilish dwarf's house, as if we were lifelong friends, discussing school things. "Do you think we are in a movie? We're talking about thousands of dollars worth of drugs,” he asked, wrinkling his nose and lowering his voice as if he were saying something forbidden.

I nodded. "It's the only way we can do it; do you have a better idea?" I was a little fed up; that guy really drove me crazy. "We're already in it up to our necks; the least we can do is try to get the best out of it.” I drank some of the juice that one of the servants from the dwarf's house had served me.

Sakito rolled his eyes. "Two mobster hire a bunch of teenagers to transport drugs in one night,” he said in a storybook tone. "The first thing children do is steal from them." His eyes widened. "How can that go right?" He seemed to be swallowing bitterly.

"We deliver the drugs; what they do next is not our problem,” Reita said in a calm voice.

Hitsugi, who hadn't spoken up yet, clicked his tongue. "It's not a bad idea." The rest of us looked at him a little surprised; that boy didn't have many opinions. "So neither of the two teams will be competing, and neither will be in danger from the mafia. I like it," he agreed.

"Speak for yourself." Sakito's mouth twisted, and Kyo looked at him in such a way that he immediately fell silent. I could see that Shou was looking at him carefully.

Kyo ended up sighing resignedly. "It's okay, but we will have to do everything very carefully; the most difficult thing will be stealing from one or the other. If we see that it is impossible, we won't do anything.” He didn't say it presumptuously. "And even more, it must look like we're competing with each other,” he said, sounding like an adult.

"Unifying forces would be a good idea," Reita said. "Let the two teams take everything to one place and then to the other. We have to plan it very well," he said, twisting his mouth, since the teams at that time were incomplete and it was not possible to speak clearly or get anywhere.

"This is going to be crazy," Sakito said in disbelief. "More than that, we can't even be in the same room for more than an hour without ending up fighting or calling each other names. Now you want us to rob a gangster? Sure, maybe later we'll get together by the campfire and sing camp songs.” He was staring straight ahead.

Kyo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't make this more difficult," he said calmly.

Sakito puffed out his cheeks. "I'm not being difficult; I'm being realistic. Let's see, you're going to tell me that from one day to the next, this guy," he pointed out to me, "and his little brother are going to get along really well, or that Shou is going to pretend that he doesn't hate me. If we can't agree on this, much less on some work that involves risking our lives. I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but I would like to see that Kyo and Suzuki don't end up arguing or that Aoi doesn't do something stupid for showing off." He stopped when he saw that Kyo's gaze was growing darker.

"You're right," said Kyo. "You," he pointed to Sakito, "and you," he pointed to Shou. "You're going to fix your problems right now. And that goes for you too," he told me seriously, then turned to Reita. "I propose a truce; nothing will be done unless we both agree." He held out his hand.

I opened my mouth in disbelief, although it was more entertaining to see the expressions that Shou and Sakito had. They knew that if Reita and Kyo shook hands, they were also committed to getting along. Something Shou didn't want in a million years. However, it happened as if the prime minister of Israel and the prime minister of Palestine shook hands and declared world peace, so it happened with Kyo and Reita because the shake was sincere. It turned out that those two were more mature than I would have imagined.

"Now go talk to your brother," Reita said, as if he had just climbed Everest and was asking me the same thing. "And you guys fix yourselves." He nodded at Sakito and Shou.

The shorter one didn't seem to agree, and Shou sighed. "You'd also have to settle with Kai if you expect this to work out,” he said quietly, looking at his nails, while Reita paled.

Sakito stood up abruptly to demand something, and at that moment the scarf that he was wearing around his neck slipped and fell to the floor. Usually, I wouldn't have cared if it hadn't been for the huge bruises that adorned his neck, and it's not like I was going to say anything; it was Shou who couldn't keep quiet.

"Who did that to you!?" he asked angrily.

"You don't mind." He quickly put the scarf back on.

"You're right," he said sarcastically. "I don't care about your little boyfriend's fetishes.” He crossed his arms.

The other raised an eyebrow. "If there are people who are more men than you and know what they like, it's not my problem,” he challenged with venom in his voice.

Shou smirked. "It's good that you got yourself a man because it's obvious that you don't know how to keep a gentleman by your side." He got up. "Let's see if you learn something and stop acting like a child." He turned his back, looking at Reita and shaking his head.

He left after that, leaving an extremely uncomfortable environment.

"SEE!?" Sakito yelled in an excessively high-pitched voice.

Kyo looked at him, a little fed up. "Did that just happen?" He said, unable to believe it. "I hope you two do better." He shrugged, looking at Reita and me.

Of course, it would be easy to go and make a truce with my brother.

-x-

I rang the doorbell expecting the worst, not really knowing what to expect. Finally, after about two minutes, a man in a wheelchair opened the door. I couldn't help but be surprised, but I acted as naturally as possible.

"Yes?" He said when he noticed that I had been completely paralyzed. I didn't know what to say; I felt completely ridiculous standing there, but I also knew that it was my only chance.

"Excuse me, is Kouyou here? I'm his brother, and they told me that maybe he'd be with your son,” I asked, ruffling my hair nervously.

The man raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know he had siblings." I must admit that the statement hurt me a lot; he hadn't even talked about me. Before, we were inseparable.

"I can show you my ID if you'd like," I offered, reaching for my wallet in the pocket of my school pants.

I had gone looking for him after school, just after getting confirmation from the devilish dwarf that he had gone off with this Saga guy. Of course, it was easier to find him there than at home; my father would never let me see him, and I couldn't risk knowing if he was there or not.

"It's not necessary." The man backed off. "Come in; I'll tell him that you are here.” He moved his chair toward a long corridor. I sat at the dining room table because it was the closest. It was quite a nice house despite being only one story; it was full of beautiful paintings, and there was a bit of a mess. It felt more like a single house than a family house.

"Are you sure, he said, brother?" I heard Kouyou's voice in the distance, and it was as if my stomach received several blows at the same time.

This was crazy, although it was for the good of both of us. He looked at me and stopped short. I got up from my seat, feeling completely stupid.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, unable to believe it. He looked divine in that uniform; the light way in which he put on makeup and fixed his honey blond hair highlighted his beautiful features in an extraordinary way.

I closed my eyes, forgetting those thoughts. "I need to talk to you," I said, trying not to stutter.

He nodded. Saga's father left us alone in less than a minute.

"Kyo told me about the agreement they reached," he said calmly, and there was no doubt that my brother had changed, even in his attitude. "He told me that he wanted us to make peace for the good of the plan." He smiled ironically, putting his hands on his waist. "Honestly, I have no choice; I'm not going to put everything at risk just because I can't stand you," he said with such contempt that I thought I might start crying at that moment.

I, the great Aoi Shiroyama, was reduced to that.

"I'm worried about you, Kou," I said without missing a beat.

"Do not be. I don't love the plan, because after all, I would be cheating the person who gave me the Skyline. But I'm not stupid enough to put all of you in danger either; I told Kyo to count me in but not to expect me to talk to you like it's nothing,” he explained seriously, without any expression in his voice.

"Why did you accept the Skyline?" I asked, struggling not to lose my head.

"He offered me the car in exchange for my winning; it was a very easy deal to accept," he answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Have you seen Mana?" I continued with the questioning, and he just nodded. "Did he tell you something? Something that could be useful to us to achieve the objective." I moved my hands.

He shook his head. "The only person who can help us with that is Sakito." He crossed his arms.

"Sakito? What does he have to do with it?" I changed positions.

"You'll have to ask him." His mouth twisted. "Are we finished?" He already wanted me to leave, even leaning towards the door.

"Kou..."

He shook his head again. "Don't say it, Aoi." I hated that he called me by my nickname. "You know it's wrong, and I, I can't forgive you for seeing me like an idiot. Something could have happened to you, and you lied to me." He didn't lose the calm tone of his voice. "You are the person I trusted the most, and it turns out that you did not trust me. In the end, I gave you everything, and you, what did you give me?" He did sound a little hurt.

"I want you to understand why I did it," I said quickly. "Look at the mess we're in; if this goes wrong, we'll end up dead. Why should I bring you into this life? I love you too much to do that," I said without thinking.

"Yuu..." and I saw how tears slipped down his cheeks. "You are my older brother; you always will be, and I understand your concern." His words pierced my heart.

"Is that how you see me now? Like your older brother?" I didn't want to hear the answer, though I had to if I wanted to get over this one day.

"I always saw you as my older brother," he answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I narrowed my eyes. "Liar," I told him under my breath, and his eyes widened unbelievably. “If you only saw me as your brother, you would never...” I clenched my fists and bit my tongue to keep from finishing the sentence.

He approached me. "I'm your brother,” he murmured. "I've spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with that idea, getting mad at you for not trusting me and acting like my big brother when it comes to racing. Hating you because you pushed me aside like I was your annoying little brother and not..." He stopped talking at that moment.

"I did it for your own good." I lifted his chin. "I never did it for that; I never thought you were my little brother, much less thought you were annoying. I did it because I didn't want anything to happen to you. I did it wrong, and look where it got us.” I caressed his cheek. "Exactly what I didn't want was what happened." I lightly kissed the place where my hand was.

"Aoi, go away." More tears slipped from his eyes. "We are brothers, and as brothers, I forgive you."

"And as lovers?"

Chapter Text

Sakito

I was fed up with the sound of my cell phone; messages were coming non-stop all day long. Several times I thought about turning it off, but I didn't like being cut off from communication. I moved my neck slightly as I walked to my apartment, and I felt the twinge of pain all the way to my back. Maybe I should go to the doctor after all. I wasn't a fan of using the elevator, though truth be told, I was too tired and sore to climb the stairs.

I opened the door to my apartment without too much concern. Everything was going well until I felt someone grab me by the shirt and throw me against the wall. I only moaned inconsolably due to the blow and the shock of the impact, even though I was perfectly aware of who it was.

 "You took too long," the person who had me cornered against the wall said to me in broken japanese. 

 "I had to go to school," I answered with difficulty, as his body was pressed tightly against mine, preventing me from breathing properly.

 His tongue was already fervently licking my earlobe. He wrapped his arm around my waist. "While I'm in Japan, you shouldn't go to school. I don't have enough time to be here not to take full advantage of you," he squeezed my ass hard.

“I don't think it's a good idea," I said sincerely. However, his gaze changed in an instant, and I knew I had made a mistake, no matter how small. "Allen, I..." It was too late; the damage was done.

 All I could do was close my eyes when I felt the strong grip of his hand in my hair, pulling me straight to the floor. I fell on all fours, a little dizzy from the struggle. 

 "You know, for a moment I thought you were questioning me," he said with that authoritative tone I hated so much. I didn't move an inch or say anything. "You weren't, were you?" He asked ironically. I denied it fervently, but that didn't prevent the hard spanking I received. "It would be stupid of you to be insolent after taking me so long to train you. Unless you were looking for intentional punishment," he spanked me harder than before, and the scream I let out could have been quickly taken as a whimper. 

 I had met Allen in a bar exclusively for foreigners; it hadn't even been my intention to meet him. I was there, working—yes, I was working there as a waiter, convinced that soon I would be able to earn my own money and be with Shou without any trouble. I was quite naïve.

Allen kept hitting on me all night; I didn't play along for a second. I was head over heels in love with Shou; I wasn't interested in anyone else. All night long he kept insisting, and it wasn't just that night; it was the night after that and the night after that.

Finally, one night, fed up with my rejections, he cornered me in the bathroom. 

"I want you," he said, hugging me from behind.

I smiled mischievously. "Good thing I don't." I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me. 

"I like them insolent like that; I enjoy training them, bending their will until they are humiliated, then asking for more," he said in a voice that made me feel ashamed.

I tilted my head to one side and said, "I don't need your money, and to your surprise, you can't buy me." I smiled, ready to leave.

"Strange," I paused to listen to what he had to say, my back to him. "I doubt that in this place you earn enough money to keep the apartment you own." I was sharply surprised at what he was saying. "You'd be surprised how many contacts I have," it was his turn to smile. "Tell me, does your little boyfriend know?" I clenched my fists, ready to break his face. "Calm down; I'm not jealous. I assure you that you will enjoy being my lover. I can show you things you would never imagine, and I wouldn't have any problem with you having another lover. Although I'm sure that Kazamasa Kohara wouldn't be very happy to know that his boyfriend is a vile prostitute," his look turned dark.

I rolled my eyes and said, "You can't threaten me, you know that?" I turned back to the door once more.

"I'm not doing it, you'll be the one to come and get me yourself," he hugged me from behind again, holding out his card. "Ask for what you want, and I'll give it to you. I can see you are an ambitious boy, and I don't think you want to ruin your life by depriving yourself of all the things you can get quickly. I don't think Kohara has much to offer you, unless you want to stop going to school or unless you don't want to have all your luxuries anymore. That boy won't help you at all in your bright future; I can give you whatever you want, even letters of recommendation for colleges in America." He kissed my cheek and said, "Think about it." He went out of the bathroom after that.

Was it wrong to be ambitious? Was it wrong to want to pursue my future? Was it wrong to want to be somebody in life? To study, to excel; to live well, to graduate and have a career. Why, if it wasn't supposed to be wrong, did it feel so wrong? I made Shou believe I didn't love him to protect him, so he wouldn't be disappointed in me when he found out what I really was. I preferred to make him think I was cheating on him with someone else rather than let him find out the truth; after all, I would rather he hated me than find out I was a vile prostitute.

So why did I still feel so bad? Why did I still think about Shou every moment that psycho made me his? Allen was a fucking psycho who was fixated on having rough sex with me and was also fixated on beating, humiliating, and abusing me each time we engaged in it. I never enjoyed our sex; I only learned to pretend to enjoy it in exchange for a Camaro and a few letters of recommendation that would have allowed me to have a better future. Which didn't take me away from feeling dirty and empty, which didn't make me miss him any less, and which didn't make me feel better about myself for doing what I did.

Before I knew it, I was no longer wearing a shirt; I was wearing a collar that I had grown accustomed to, and Allen was pulling me tightly on a leash. I was already prepared for what was coming, but the doorbell rang, interrupting whatever Allen had planned. I usually didn't answer the door while I was with him; it was one of his rules, but this time it was different.

The American lifted me by the leash, smiling mischievously. "Open the door," he said, taking off the leash but not the collar. "You deserve someone else to see you like this; it will be your punishment for your insolence." I opened my eyes wide, not really believing what he had just said. It wasn't the first time he humiliated me in public, but this was different; it could have been anyone. "What are you waiting for? Open up!" he ordered, sitting down on the living room couch.

They knocked again, and I quickly put on my shirt without taking off my collar. I knew that if I resisted, it would be a thousand times worse. I opened the door hoping that a hole would magically open up and swallow me right there and then—or at least that it wouldn't be someone I knew. Nothing would have prepared me for what happened next. I opened the door, and there he was—of all my evils, that was the worst—in front of me: Shou.

For a minute that seemed to last forever, neither of us said anything. We just looked at each other without being able to believe that we were in front of each other. Without taking into account that I had a collar on, besides the fact that my cheek was red from the slaps I had received.

"What are you doing here?" I stammered.

 He didn't say anything; he just pushed me and entered my apartment without permission, walking straight to Allen. 

"Wow, Sakito, I thought you had gotten rid of him quite some time ago," said Allen with a calmness that I hated at that moment. 

Shou turned sharply toward me. "So, this is the big man you left me for," he said with venom in his voice.

The American stood up haughtily from his chair. "I'm Allen White," he introduced himself, holding out his hand—a greeting that Shou didn't return. "Wow, I thought the Japanese would have better manners," he said, and the smile on his face didn't disappear.

"And I thought Sakito would have better tastes." Shou turned to me and back to the other. "Do you really need to hit someone to feel more manly?" He raised an eyebrow.

Allen let out a laugh. "I doubt you understand, kid; besides, it's clear that Sakito prefers me for something," he laughed, putting his hands in his pockets.

"You're not like this," Shou told me with absolute seriousness; he knew me too well. "Then why do you let him do this to you?" he asked without understanding.

"Yes, Sakito, tell him it's because you like it." They both looked at me intensely, but the look that really pierced me was Shou's.

"Why else would it be?" I looked at him. "Why else could it be?" I looked at Allen with contempt; he knew perfectly well my reasons and my feelings towards Shou. Why did he have to behave like that? It was obvious that he wanted to make it clear that I belonged to him; he wanted to overshadow Shou in that way because he knew that in my heart there would never be room for him.

Shou sighed. "Look Takahiro..." I hated that he used my real name. "I only came here because I think it is important to make peace, although it is clear that you are busy, and it is also clear to me that we can never reconcile," his words seemed like needles sticking in my chest. "While all this madness is still going on, I can assure you that I will not start any fights." He prepared to leave. "Do not expect us to be friends, partners, or anything like that either. You and I can never be anything," he said, and he walked out of my apartment, slamming the door.

Allen approached me, hoping to continue with what Shou had interrupted, and without knowing why, I collapsed at that moment. It was too much; everything I had been avoiding and everything I tried not to feel came to me without anyone being able to stop it. I fell to my knees with tears in my eyes, sobbing without being able to help it.

The American sternly remarked, "Come on, you're not going to be a little girl now. I thought you were over him." I looked at him with hatred. "Do you really miss him? Think about your future, Sakito; that boy has nothing to give you; I do. You've earned what you have: this apartment, your studies, the Camaro. Kohara hasn't given you any of that; I have."

I nodded, trying to hold back the tears. He lifted me up and started kissing my neck. I just shook my head. "I can't," I said, hearing Shou's voice, his presence, and his scent. Everything was still too present to act and fool myself. It wasn't the first time I cried for him, nor was it the first time I missed him, but it was the first time I couldn't control it.

"Sakito, I'm leaving tomorrow for America, and I'm certainly not leaving without getting what's mine," Allen's voice sounded threatening.

"I'm not yours," I said, suddenly getting brave. Not knowing why I didn't care about anything anymore, the only thing I wanted was to run after Shou and have him hug me and say that everything was going to be all right. Because at that moment, more than ever, in the middle of the chaos, I needed him.

"What?" he said in disbelief. "You're very wrong, little boy; the Camaro in the parking lot can tell you otherwise. Now, from whom else are you going to get a college recommendation worth a damn? Besides, do you really think that guy will accept you when he finds out who you really are? Sakito, you're nothing but a whore. You sell yourself for money, all this," he pointed around. "You got it by sleeping with me and another poor idiot; who knows how many others you've done it with? Do you think he'll accept you like this?" I hated feeling so vulnerable and unprotected; I couldn't take it anymore. I was curled up on the floor listening to what Allen was saying, and I cried even harder knowing it was true. "Now stop trying to be a normal person for a moment and do your job. I pay you too well for you not to do it," he said, unbuttoned his pants, and I closed my eyes tightly.

He was right; as hurtful as the words were, they were the truth. I slept with people for money, and if I knew Shou would be able to accept it, I would have told him; of course, he didn't deserve someone like me. 

 I waited for some movement, a blow, or something to come, but it didn't happen. I opened my eyes without really understanding and saw Shou holding Allen by the arm.

"He said no," he said hoarsely.

Allen snapped, "He has no right to say no. I pay him a lot of money to have the luxury of saying no," he spat angrily.

Shou looked at me quickly and turned back to the American. I felt like my world was falling apart; it certainly wasn't in my plans for Shou to find out, much less in this way.

"If he said no, it's no. If your damn problem is money, tell me how much it is and I'll pay you, take the damn Camaro if that's really what you want." His voice didn't waver for a moment.

"Of course, I should have known that the son of one of the most powerful families in Japan would have no problem offering me money. But what do you think, little boy? I already paid my whore; this is not about money." He didn't take his eyes off Shou, while I remained lying on the floor without knowing what to do. Usually, I would have stood up and run to Shou, or at least defended myself, but at that moment, I couldn't do anything. I was paralyzed, and my mind was not reacting properly.

"Don't call him that," Shou merely replied.

Allen laughed hysterically and said, "What do you call someone who sells himself for money? Get over it; he's mine," he kept smiling.

In less than a second, Shou grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the wall. "You're wrong, no matter how much money you've given or offered him. He will never be yours. Do you really think he thinks of you when you do anything to him?" Allen's countenance changed abruptly. "Do you think he thinks of you when you're not with him? For him, it's only a matter of money, and it's clear to me that for you it's not, and that bothers you too much." It was his turn to smile. "Get out before I call the police; I bet they will be very interested in a foreigner who performs illegal activities with a minor." He slammed him against the wall again.

"They would take Sakito too," he tried to threaten, something that made my skin crawl instantly.

Shou denied, "In that case, you would see why my family is one of the most influential in Japan." He was boasting, but he sounded so confident that anyone would have believed him. His parents would never put their hands in the fire for him, would they? "Get out." He let him go and pointed to the door. 

Allen looked at me and snorted, "This ends here, don't expect anything more from me and forget about getting into a prestigious university, forget about the Camaro," he slammed the door.

I struggled to get up, Shou was still breathing heavily. Without meaning to, an extremely strange atmosphere had formed between us, I dared to approach him because he wouldn't even look at me. 

"Shou," my voice was shakier than I would have liked.

-x-

"And then?" Ni~ya looked at me with his mouth open and a piece of apple still unchewed inside it. 

I looked at him with some disgust. "Nothing," I answered, a little disappointed. "He left, he didn't say anything else." I sighed. I was telling Hitsugi, Ni~ya and Kyo what happened not because I was really interested in their opinions but because I needed them to solve yet another problem that had arisen. "But that doesn't matter. We have a bigger problem than that," I changed the subject.

"Isn't it important? Are you going back to him?" Ni~ya kept talking like a gossipy old woman.

"No," I replied with some exasperation, "can we take care of the other matter?" I looked at Kyo pleadingly. 

The blond midget scrunched up the bridge of his nose and asked, "What are you supposed to do without a car?" He looked at me sternly, and I felt myself getting smaller all of a sudden.

"I didn't mean to," I tried to apologize, "I didn't know this was going to happen."

"In a way, I'm glad it did," Kyo interrupted me. We'll see what car you can use," he tried to sound calm, but failed.

I shifted in my seat a little uncomfortably. "The problem is not the car, it's the modifications; even if we could get a car, we would need to find someone capable of modifying it in time." I clucked my tongue, reprimanding myself for my bad luck. "I could always ask Mana for a car." I said it as a joke, and apparently, by the way they looked at me, none of my three companions liked the idea.

"You just stepped out of one and into another," said Kyo, rolling his eyes.

I raised my shoulders. "My idea isn't that far-fetched; after all, he already gave Kouyou a car. I don't think he would say no to me; besides, it would be a great opportunity to get closer to him," I said, sounding more convinced than I really was.

During the last few weeks I had been receiving messages from this Mana, some just greetings, others asking me questions, and others with not at all innocent proposals. I had not answered most of the messages, but I did answer some of them because I was sure that the charm that Mana seemed to have with me would be useful to us in some way or another.

"Mana already made his intentions clear to me; he wants to take me to bed." I said it as if it had been the most normal thing in the world, so I earned another reproachful look from everyone. "Come on, we don't know how much it can benefit us. I mean, the more you know your enemy, the better you can destroy him." I hit my left palm with my right fist.

"Are you serious? Sakito, you don't know what kind of sick man he can be. He's dangerous enough as it is; imagine if it's sex," Ni~ya said, scandalized. 

"It's nothing I haven't faced before," I said, twisting my mouth bitterly. "I'm the only one of all of us who has the moral high ground enough to approach and have sex with him without any trouble. If I do that, I can investigate him, and we can come up with a better plan. We're going to rob him; we might as well do it right," I tried to smile.

Hitsugi cleared his throat, "I don't think Shou likes the idea very much," he said for the first time.

I wrinkled my nose, "What does he have to do with it?" I asked in confusion.

"He took a maniac off your hands, so you go and want to mess with someone else," Ni~ya explained. 

I felt slightly offended—how had Shou suddenly become some kind of hero? 

"Yes, but I didn't ask him to," I clarified, ignoring the expressions of the other three. "And I had been thinking about Mana for some time. I would have done it with or without Camaro," I explained seriously. I needed their approval; I really wanted to do it. Destroy the evil that was stalking us from within, and I knew I was the only one capable of doing it. If we wanted things to go well, we had to have someone on the inside, and I was the most suitable one.

"You're crazy," Ni~ya said.

I was more focused on Kyo, who seemed to be having an internal battle; he was considering it. In the end, he looked at me with resignation.

"We have to talk to Gazette9 first," he frowned unwillingly, "I promised that all decisions regarding this matter would be made together. It's clear to me that you will do it even if we don't give you the approval, so at least we have to do things right," he said. He didn't seem very convinced, but he knew me well enough to know that he was right: I would do it whether they liked it or not.

-x-

I must admit that the meeting with Gazette9 was a bit disappointing. I really wanted to see Shou and clear things up. I don't know; I wanted to talk to him for five minutes, but he never showed up. It was more than clear that Reita and Kai hadn't solved their problems either since they didn't even look at each other when they talked or said more than three words to each other, and Uruha and Aoi, well, that topic was too confusing for me. They talked to each other, smiled at each other, and flirted with each other. I couldn't tell if they had made up or if it was their natural state, but at least they weren't fighting anymore.

"We just ran out of another car," said Reita seriously.

 "Another one?" I asked without understanding.

 "Aoi crashed the BMW, remember? It was a total loss, and they haven't delivered a new one yet. I doubt they will in time," he explained bitterly.

We were at Kyo's house, pacing the living room in an effort to settle our differences amicably.

 "Aoi's car problem is solved," said Uruha, with a blush on his cheeks that became more evident as we all looked at him. "I'm going to modify the Lancer," he said, looking away and scratching the back of his head. 

 Kyo and Reita opened their mouths; neither of them said anything; the second one just smiled, while the shorter one looked at me while twisting his mouth.

 "Now we just need to find out where we will get a car for you," Kyo said thoughtfully.

 "I already told you how," I answered calmly.

"I'd like us to figure it out for ourselves. If you're going to approach Mana, it would be best if we didn't owe him anything," said Reita, crossing his arms.

I looked at Kyo with an indignant face; I couldn't believe that he had already told Suzuki what he was planning to do if the meeting was supposed to inform them. And the midget went and told them as if they were bosom buddies.

"It pleases me to know that I have your approval," I said sarcastically and angrily.

"It's not approval," Kai interjected for the first time. "Unfortunately, I think we are in a position where we have to take a risk, and we have no choice but to let you try. That's why we didn't say anything to Shou; he would never agree."

I felt a knot in my stomach, and I hated that they talked as if Shou still had feelings for me, when more than once he himself had made it clear that he did not. My cell phone rang at that moment, breaking the strange atmosphere that had formed. I pulled it out with a little fear, and the knot in my stomach tightened even more when I saw who it was. 

"It's Mana," I announced, trying to sound calm.

"What did he say?" asked Aoi, raising an eyebrow.

I swallowed. "He's asking when we'll see each other."

At that moment, everything became chaotic; everyone was shouting and trying to agree on what would be the best answer, when would be the best day, the situation, and the place. Nobody, for a change, could agree; I could no longer even think clearly amidst all the shouting. Uruha approached me timidly, while everyone was still shouting non-stop. 

"Tell him you'll see him on Saturday," he said quietly. "I'll see him that day, so we can go together. It will be safer."

I thought that; I felt an emptiness in my stomach, and I wondered what Aoi would say about such a thing. Unfortunately, I didn't have to wait long to find out. 

"He has a meeting with Gackt, Die, and Toshiya will be there too," Aoi said loudly enough for everyone to hear. 

"WHAT!?" they all shouted in unison. 

I swear I saw Kyo turn pale quickly.

Chapter Text

Uruha

I turned off the car in front of Reita's house and sighed; I didn't feel like getting out even though I knew I should. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the rearview mirror and smiled a little. It was impressive how much my look had changed in such a short time. It had nothing to do with now wearing makeup to adorn my face; it was my whole expression. For some reason, I looked tired, even fed up; it was nothing like my look from a few months ago.
I turned my eyes towards the huge house; everyone would be in there by now, and I was still outside, not knowing what to do. I had an uncontrollable urge to start the car and run far away. I felt a pang in my stomach at the thought of Yuu; maybe I could talk to him, he would come out, and the two of us would go where no one knew us, to a place where we weren't siblings. My mouth twisted up at once—what stupid thing was I thinking?

"And as lovers?" he asked hoarsely.

I pulled away and looked at him blankly. "What do you mean?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, surely I was going crazy by then.
He bit his lip and said, "You know perfectly well what I mean." I moved my head; I didn't want to have that conversation, not when I had spent most of my life refusing everything I felt. "Don't tell me I was the only one who felt something else that day in my parents' room; if I was the only one, then why did you respond? Don't tell me I hallucinated it. Don't be so cruel as to delude my heart only to break it into a thousand pieces; I don't think I could stand it." He looked like he was about to explode and start screaming.
"Aoi, I...

"STOP CALLING ME THAT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" he shouted. He shut up as he remembered he was in someone else's house, and he approached me, saying, "Why can't you call me Yuu? You're the only person who calls me like that, who I love and calls me that. Was it really that bad what I did? Don't you understand why I did it? I was trying to protect you; I love you too much to see you involved in something like this. I care too much about you; if you were hurt, I would never forgive myself."

I didn't want to hear it; I didn't want to know anything.

"Stop it, please; don't say anything more. This is crazy, it's wrong, don't you dare tell me anything," by mere instinct, I put my hands to my ears to block any more words, I closed my eyes tightly as if I were a little child throwing a tantrum, and immediately I felt his hands around my wrists and pushing my hands away.
"What don't you want me to tell you?" Our gazes collided in that instant; my eyes were flooded with tears that refused to come out while his gaze seemed pleading, a kind of gaze I had never seen in him. "I love you, Kouyou." I closed my eyes again; his hand took my chin, and I forced myself to look at him again. "Forgive me. I know it's wrong; I know it's forbidden; that it's sinful and unnatural. But I can't... I don't want to avoid it. I have loved you since we were children. I struggled with this feeling; believe me, every time I saw you and had an impure thought about you, I tried to punish myself. I would tell myself I was going crazy. I tried to forget you with Kai, and look where it has gotten me. I can't, not anymore. I know we can never get anywhere, but at least don't tell me I'm alone in this, because that day," he caressed my cheek. "That day was the best day of my life. Don't tell me you didn't feel the same," he said almost in a whisper.
I rested my forehead on his shoulder while my gaze remained down, and I felt tears finally sliding down my cheeks.

"I hate you," I uttered. "I hate you because you're the only person I could forgive for anything. I hate you because even when you hurt me by lying, I knew why you did it, and I hate you more because you are my brother," I finally blurted out. All that I refused and all that I wanted to mistake for brotherly love went out of my hands along with the tears that fell to the floor. "I hate that you are my brother and that I love you in this stupid and senseless way. I hate that you're my brother because I can't be with you without going crazy. I hate the damn moment fate put us in the same family. Why Yuu?"

I felt Yuu's hands caress my hair.

In the end, we came to nothing. What were we to say after that? We were brothers, and there was nothing to be done about it, so it ended there. At least we could talk like always, with no secrets. Me with Tora and him—well, he would find someone, and he should be happy about that. I had to learn to see him for who he was—my brother.
I got off the Skyline and ventured out to ring the doorbell. As expected, they opened immediately. It was not at all surprising to see the entire Gazette9 team, Nightmare en grey and co. packed into Reita's living room shouting non-stop; it should be noted that they all fell silent when they saw me enter.

"Where were you?" Kyo asked with his eyes almost bulging out; he looked terrifying.
"Don't talk to him like that," Yuu interjected, and they both gave each other death stares.
"Calm down," Kai said, looking at them with the desire to kill them. "He was only ten minutes late. Can we stop the drama?" The two nodded as I blinked at the scene.
I looked for Sakito, who was sitting next to Hitsugi; he had a blank stare and a rather serious look on his face. He looked at me as if he felt he was being watched.
"What, are you ready?" He stood up with that haughty look that characterized him, and I couldn't help wondering if he was really as confident as he wanted to appear.
"This is stupid," Kyo finally blurted out, sitting in a single armchair with his arms folded and his right leg over his left knee swinging restlessly. "If something goes wrong, they'd better not go." His voice cracked for an instant.
It was Kai who put a hand on his shoulder; he didn't say anything. Simply by exchanging glances, it appeared as though they were communicating internally. Reita didn't seem to like it very much; by the face he made, he looked like he wanted to hit someone. However, I felt a light touch on my hand that distracted me; Yuu had a tight grip on me.

"If anything happens—if anything at all," he said in a serious voice.
I nodded and said, "Don't worry, it's not the first time I've seen him." I tried to reassure him, apparently to no effect.

It was surprising to me that only I had had the "pleasure" of meeting Mana; I mean, half of them were working for him. What I was really worried about was Sakito; he looked a little paler than usual, which was to be expected, and there was also Shou. He had not been told anything about Mana's intentions with Sakito; he had been told that he was going to see him because he had requested it. The news did not go down well with him, and he seemed to be completely against it.

"Let's go." I said to the shortest one, and he nodded awkwardly before heading to the door.

-x-

"I definitely don't like this area," said Sakito, sinking into the passenger seat of the Skyline.
The huge bar that Mana owned was of course not in a residential area; on the contrary, it must be in one of the worst neighborhoods of the city. I wasn't afraid of it since Mana had said that no one would do anything to us in that place as long as we mentioned his name. Which I didn't love either; although it was better than nothing, I still preferred nothing bad to happen.
"Don't worry, we are close," I reassured him. I didn't look away from the road; I didn't need to see him to feel his discomfort.
"It's mostly the amount of bad memories I have of this neighborhood," he shivered as he said it.

I was driving through some pretty narrow streets; we were five minutes away from the bar, and it was a bit laborious to maneuver.
"Remember? Have you ever been here before?" I asked him more to make conversation than out of curiosity; surely he had a drunken anecdote to tell me.
I heard a snort: "I was born and raised in this neighborhood." He twisted his mouth, folded his arms, and looked out the window as if he wanted to avoid my gaze.
I didn't want to make another comment, but the neighborhood was known for the prostitutes that prowled the place, the ill-fated bars full of illegal gambling, and the occasional Yakuza who made sure that no one from another family came near the place. It was impossible for a child to have grown up in that place without being directly affected. I must admit it was incredibly strange for me to think of Sakito in a place like that; I didn't want to delve into the subject for fear of violating his privacy.
Without saying anything else, we arrived at our destination. It was still too early for the bar to be open, so I had to knock several times on the door before a huge man with a suspicious look received us. He was bald and had the face of a few friends, but he did not speak; he just nodded and let us pass. There appeared to be just the two of us when he led us into one of the bar's private rooms.
"Well, look who little Uruha brought." I looked up and found Mana's bodyguard, a man of somber appearance and deep gaze named Klaha. "Nice to finally meet you, Sakito," he said, nodding.

He tilted his head to one side, "You are Mana?" he asked without fully believing it.

The man laughed lightly and said, "My manners, sorry. My name is Klaha. I am Mana's bodyguard and butler; he will be with you in a few minutes. Please order whatever you want; it's on the house," he clapped his hands, and out of nowhere a waiter came out to serve us. However, for security reasons, neither of us ordered anything.
And just as he had said, no more than five minutes had passed when I saw a figure approaching; it was unmistakable. He had just enough makeup on to make his face look white, and his lips were completely black. He was dressed in a huge black lace dress. He had a very elaborate hairstyle, and if you didn't know he was male, he could easily be mistaken for a girl. Sakito appeared to be struggling to control his impression, as I could see him opening and closing his mouth. Finally, he arrived, greeted us with a nod of his head, and took a seat in front of us.
Klaha, for his part, remained next to him without sitting down. Mana blinked many times without saying a single word.

"Mana is very happy that you finally decided to come, Sakito," it was Klaha who spoke.

The blond raised an eyebrow. "I can tell," he said with noticeable sarcasm.

"You are the spitting image of Alice," continued the bodyguard.

At the mention of the name, Sakito's face lost all color. "I don't think you and I have anything to talk about," he said, standing up suddenly, but Mana took him by the arm, looking attentively at Klaha until he spoke again.
"Relax, your mother and Mana knew each other once," the other turned to Sakito and nodded, giving him the reason. For me, it was a lot of information to process; after all, I knew nothing about Sakito's life, and I was in a conversation that was none of my business. I shrank a little in my chair, trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. "The two of them spent some time on the streets together, long before you were born." Mana kept nodding; he had let go of his arm once he had caught the shorter one's attention.

Sakito sat down again. "Really?" His haughty tone had suddenly returned. "The two of you were prostitutes together or what?" he said mockingly. Mana nodded and remained silent. "Well, what does that have to do with me? That lady and I have nothing to do with each other anymore; in fact, I have lived very well without her the last few years of my life, and I plan to keep it that way." He crossed his arms and looked away.
"Don't worry, Sakito; your mother is fine. Same old ways, but fine," said Klaha, even though no one had asked. "That's not why you're here. The messages you have received, each and every one of them are true," he continued in a monotone voice.
In less than two seconds, his expression changed; he turned to the table, leaning back on his elbows, and cocking his head slightly.
"Really?" His voice was flirtatious and even a little deeper than usual. Certainly, a side of Sakito I had never seen before showed itself when he stepped forward a bit. "I'm not cheap, you know?" He turned fully toward Mana.
"Mana is aware of that. Ask for what you want, and he will give it to you," the monotony of Klaha's voice continued.
"In exchange for what exactly?" he leaned back in the seat. "One night, three outings. Be your sex slave."

I swallowed. I couldn't believe I was overhearing that conversation; I felt my cheeks flush, but fortunately no one was paying attention to me.
"We know you ran out of car," Klaha continued as if it were any other negotiation. "We offer you the car you like, maybe one that is lighter for the tasks you do," he said, smiling slightly as if he were a father offering a gift to his son.
Sakito was looking at his fingernails; he had fallen back in his chair. "A new Camaro would be nice, but what do you want in return?" He kept focusing on Mana as if he were talking to him and not Klaha. Mana smiled and turned to look at me. I suddenly felt terrified without knowing why. "That's right, I don't plan to negotiate in front of him; I don't want him to know my work," he pointed at me, and the man in the dress nodded.
They could not continue talking because at that moment the door of the bar opened abruptly. A man with a powerful blue gaze entered, smiling mockingly. He came with two other guys whom I could recognize as Toshiya and Die. The man was very handsome, with dark reddish brown hair, which he wore short. His clothes were simple: a suit without a tie and without a jacket, with the first buttons of his shirt slightly open.

They quickly approached where we were sitting.
"I can't believe you started without me," said the blue-eyed man in an offended tone. He looked at me and Sakito and smiled with a strange grimace. "Doing business without me," he shook his head. "That's bad, very bad." He bent down slightly and gave a kiss on the cheek to Mana, who did not show any kind of expression. He turned to us and smiled, "I'm Gackt; nice to meet you."

Needless to say, we both almost went backwards.

When I was told that Gackt was going to attend the so-called meeting, I always thought it was entirely business, and I certainly believed that these two were enemies. They had always stated it that way, and now that they were together, they appeared to be a contented couple. Gackt had a tight grip on Mana's hand, and Mana was talking in his ear without anyone else hearing what he was saying.
"You look confused," Die finally mocked, as none of the other three seemed to pay much attention to us.
Sakito looked at him with hatred. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, really annoyed.

"Gackt is my boss," he answered without any problem and with a huge smile. Hello, Uruha," he greeted me with a tone I prefer not to remember, while the shortest one did not take his eyes off him. "Is there anything you want to say?" he asked with extreme sarcasm.
"Since when?" Sakito took a breath. "Since when is he your boss?" He looked like he wanted to hit him.

The other smiled sideways. "Since some time ago, the pay is good, and if that makes you feel better, it was before all this mess," he said.
Immediately, Sakito turned to Toshiya. "And you?"

He looked down as if he were ashamed of something. "He pays my mother's bills and medicines." That was the only thing he answered in an apologetic tone without looking up.
He appeared to be about to kill someone when he said, "It wasn't what I asked," and if he had the ability to do so, Sakito undoubtedly would have. There were sparks of hatred in his eyes.
"He's been around as long as I have," Die finally replied with as much venom in his voice as anyone could have, and I was sure he was enjoying the moment.

Sakito snorted but paid no attention to him; he was still looking at Toshiya. "And all that talk about how you didn't have any money? Because let me remind you that if we are here, it is because of you," he said. He was quite annoyed, as anyone would be.
"I see you two are getting along very well," Gackt interrupted, and we all turned to look at him. "Die and Toshiya are my star boys; they got you guys to run for us in no time at all. It is something spectacular for someone of their rank; I had to promote them almost immediately," he said happily.
"Son of a bitch," said Sakito, still talking to Toshiya. "From Die, I can understand, but from you, you sold us out, you bastard," he stood up abruptly and threw himself at him despite being several centimeters shorter than him. "You took advantage of Kyo and cheated him." He gave him a blow on the left cheek and another one straight to the jaw; no one seemed to want to separate them. Until finally Klaha did.
"Gentlemen, please," Gackt blinked many times. "There's no need for violence; it's obvious it's a misunderstanding," he tried to sound like a sympathetic father.
I turned sharply toward them. "The only thing I understand is that we don't know half of what's going on here," I finally said, my tone so sure that for a moment I doubted if it was really me speaking.
Gackt sighed, "All you need to know is that you have to run for us, that's all," he leaned back in his seat, and he lit a cigarette.
"You were supposed to be racing each other." I was also quite annoyed by the situation. Yuu had risked a lot of things for this, and now it seemed to be a farce or worse.
It was Klaha's turn to speak. "Let's say it's a little bet between the two of them to see who can deliver the packages faster and to whom," he explained as if they were talking about anything.

I stood up in disbelief and said, "And we are supposed to be the tokens? Are you crazy? Why are you doing this?" I was dizzy from the information I had just received.
"It's a game, kid," Gackt finally answered. "The drug has to be delivered anyway; we just wanted to add a little excitement. Of course we weren't going to tell you that from the start; you wouldn't have agreed," he said, taking a puff on his cigarette.
"There are two different families." It was Sakito who spoke; he still had his fists clenched from the confrontation with Toshiya, and from his voice, he didn't seem to have calmed down.

Mana nodded and said something to Gackt in his ear.

"That's not something you need to worry about; just win," he winked.
"What happens to the team that loses?" I ventured to ask without sitting down again.
I saw the man with the blue eyes smile. ·That's for the loser to know, there's no need to scare them for the moment," his calm countenance didn't change a bit.

-x-

"Are you all right?" I asked Sakito.
We had already left the bar; neither of us could stand being there much longer. It turned out that they only wanted me there to find out about the others. They were using me as a kind of spy, so I didn't have to do much lying. I mean, I couldn't talk about all the internal problems we had; what was I supposed to say anyway? I was driving back to Reita's house, where we had arranged to meet.
"What you know about me now," he said in an almost inaudible voice, "I ask you not to repeat it, only Hitsugi knows my story, and..."
"You should trust people more, you know? I didn't plan to tell anyone; it's your life, it's none of my business, and I'm not the one to judge you." I raised my shoulders.
"Wow!" replied the other. "You're more mature than you look," he said, smiling slightly and focusing his eyes on the passenger window. Neither of us spoke again after that, and we would have continued in dead silence if it wasn't for Sakito's cell phone ringing. Without giving it much importance, he answered it, and it didn't take a genius to realize that his look had completely changed. "Is that all? Of course it can be done; just make sure the Camaro is in the parking lot of my building today," he said and hung up.
I wanted to concentrate on the road, since it was obvious he wasn't going to tell me what kind of deal he had made with Mana. I calmed down when I saw streets I recognized, but my mind was still elsewhere, too many things were happening at the same time. That feeling of wanting to leave and run away with Yuu settled in my chest again, stronger than ever. How crazy was the idea?

-x-

It was incredible that they had all stayed in Reita's living room and did not end up killing each other. As expected, they had already smoked whole packs of cigarettes and apparently had been drinking, the pretext being that they needed to relax.
"So, are they playing?" asked Reita once we told them everything that had happened with Mana, taking out the details about Sakito, who was sitting on the stool of the grand piano at the back of the room. "Doesn't that make it easier?" he asked, sounding hopeful, but we all knew it was not.
I was sitting on the floor, leaning on Ruki's legs, and he was sitting on the right edge of the larger chair, stroking my hair to calm his nerves. Next to him was Hitsugi, who was saying absolutely nothing unless it was necessary, and on the other edge was Ni-ya, with a glass of liquor in his hand and moving his leg faster as the conversation progressed. He kept his eyes on Kyo, who was sitting in one of the individual armchairs with Kai next to him, sitting on the arm of the furniture with his arms crossed. Directly in front of him in an armchair for two were Yuu and Reita, with Shou sitting in between them on the floor with his legs raised and his arms resting on them. Ruka, on the other hand, was sitting on a bench between the larger armchair and the middle one, leaning his elbows on his knees, slightly bent over.
"Toshiya and Die planned everything from the beginning," Ni-ya said with a sigh, not taking his eyes off the Nightmare en grey leader. "Are you alright?" His silver hair glistened as it came in contact with the light coming from the window.
I saw Kyo sigh. "I shouldn't be; in fact, at this point, I'm not surprised," he replied bitterly. Kai's hands fell on his shoulders, squeezing them lightly.

Despite the moment, Reita snorted. "What, you're already with someone else?" he blurted out of sheer jealousy. "I mean, you'll sleep with anyone, but having a relationship?" he clicked her tongue. "I don't think so, unless you've found yourself a personal bitch," he glared at Kai.
The room erupted in less than five seconds; at least no one had gotten up this time; it was just screams bouncing off the walls.
"ENOUGH!" Ruki shouted in despair. "I'm sick of the damn fights; can't we have ten minutes of peace without wanting to kill each other? Don't you understand that if we don't solve this, we might die?" he swallowed. "Really die. You," he pointed at Reita, "if my brother does what he does, it's none of your business; it's clear you don't know how to take chances, and nobody has to put up with your bitterness; personal matters go outside." His voice had changed; it was deeper than usual. "For God's sake, Nao is still in the hospital, and you don't understand the risks we are taking. Let's figure out what the next step is; if my brother and Kai are together, it doesn't matter," he said, so angry that no one reacted to his words for fear that he would burst out again. The spark that appeared in Reita's eyes when he said the last thing was very obvious.
"Did you get the Camaro?" asked Shou in a calm and serious voice, turning slightly to where Sakito was.

"Yes," he answered flatly, "it's no big deal what I have to do." He was leaning on the piano, playing keys randomly from time to time.
"What do you have to do?" It was Kyo who spoke.
Sakito raised his shoulders. "It's my business," he said in a tone that left no room for further questions.
"Whatever you do, don't let it get out of hand," Shou said, taking out his cell phone and playing with it.

The other raised his face with a surprised expression but said nothing more and returned to the piano.

Ruka spoke after a long silence. "What is the plan? "There are ten of us, and two of us don't run; we just give instructions, which I believe we should follow," he nodded, his gaze fixed on Kai. "Still, eight racers are too few if we want to steal all those drugs twice in one night," he said, taking out his tablet.
"I'll help you." Ni-ya raised his hand heavily.
"And me," Ruki finally said, as we all stared in disbelief at him. "I know Nao would do it for you, and I know he can't, so I will do it," he answered the question we all had in our minds.
"Kouyou won't run," Yuu informed staring at me. I opened my mouth to complain, but he beat me to it: "We need a mechanic, and there is no one better than you; you have to stay in case someone needs help. Besides, this way you don't take any more risks than you are already taking." I kept quiet, partly because he was right. Many things could happen, and it was best to be prepared.
Reita approached the coffee table, pushing Shou in the process, and poured himself more liquor. "We have to explain to Tora everything that has happened; we have to know if we can count on him or not." He leaned back on the armchair.
"I'm sure he will," Ruki said. "Maybe..." he remained thoughtful. "Hiroto's father is a policeman."

-x-

I left Reita's house almost three hours later; some had left before me, like Ruka, Kyo, Kai, and even Ruki. The moment I saw Shou get up and head towards Sakito, I knew it was time to leave. I didn't really know why, but all the things I had learned about him had helped me understand him a little better. Maybe that was part of the reason why his thing with Shou hadn't worked out; I didn't really know much about the story, so before I got curious, I decided to leave and not ask any more questions. I took out the key of the Skyline and put it in to open the car.
"Kouyou," Yuu's voice reached my ears, and I immediately looked up; my brother was walking towards me. "Wait," he said, still in the distance.
I put my keys back in my front pocket and waited for him to come to my side. Without saying much, he took me by the cheeks and pulled me close to him, giving me a deep and passionate kiss.
"Yuu," I said, pulling away a little. "Not here," I said, looking around in case someone had seen us.
"I'm sorry," he looked down and kicked the small stones on the asphalt. "I just couldn't do without doing that," he apologized, putting his hands in his pants pockets.
I smiled slightly; my cheeks must have been redder than anything, and I tried to keep my composure. "We can't do this; it's wrong; we talked about it." I leaned against the car door, closing my eyes.

"Let's run away," Yuu said instantly.

My eyes widened wildly. "What?" Although I had thought of it myself, his saying it completely threw me off.

"I thought about it a thousand times. Let you try with Tora, try it myself with someone else, and the truth is I can't," he said, looking at me with fire in his eyes while my head was spinning non-stop. "I can't conceive of you being with someone else; the very idea makes me sick. If the only thing keeping us from being together is the last name, it's this damn blood; then let's go, let's go somewhere where no one will judge us, where we could start over. I've made enough money from racing that we could support ourselves. We'd look for something; Reita could help us." He really sounded like he was serious. "Let's go."

I don't know why I nodded.

-x-

Die

The meeting with Mana and Gackt had gone on forever; Toshiya had gone to run some errands, and Klaha had gone who knows where. I had spent the last two hours playing with my cell phone while they were discussing, I don't know, what; it was very annoying to listen to them talk, or rather to listen to Gackt talk because Mana kept saying things in his ear. The incredible thing about it was that they didn't care in the least that I was present and that I was bored out of my mind.
I was about to get up, but Gackt always wanted me to be by his side in case he needed anything. So I had no choice. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a chair dragging. I quickly opened my eyes and saw Gackt and Mana in front of me.
"I promised you a reward for your excellent work; tell me, what do you want? Anything: a car, money, a house, to get rid of someone," he said with a chuckle, but I knew he was serious.
"Anything?" I asked, correcting myself.
"As long as it's within my reach, of course," he assured me, "go on, ask me for the most expensive diamond in the world, and I'll have it stolen for you." That wasn't entirely true; he just wanted me to understand that I was free to choose whatever I wanted.
I smiled; finally, so much effort was going to be recognized, and of course I had lied to Sakito when he asked since when I was working for Gackt. I had been doing it for quite some time; I started from the bottom, and finally I had a good position within Gackt's organization.

"It's very simple what I want," I said, happy and satisfied.

"Tell me," he said, raising his arms in invitation.

"I want Kouyou."

Gackt smiled. "You're a clever boy," he turned to Mana, who nodded his consent. "Consider it done," he affirmed.