Archive of Our Own ^beta

God damn you look holy
        bathed in the January light

Familiarity can become dangerous if you let it. Human beings were creatures of habit, susceptible to many things, often falling victim to rituals and old comforts they can't let go of.

Genji was sure he wouldn't mind if this were his downfall.

Jesse was up first again, had been conscious long enough to snap his arm back into place and prop himself up for a better view. His hair wild around his face, falling past his shoulders these days, soft shadows across his features from the meager dawn that almost made him look like a blurry photograph. Genji blinked to make his eyes focus. The effect remained.

They did this every morning. Stared in silence until one of them chose to acknowledge it and finally greet the day, slide away from the warmth of the bed and go back to work. Nine months since they were reunited. Four since they started sharing a room. Two since their first kiss. Things between them were slow and complicated, but every time Genji awoke to the openness of Jesse's face, he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

McCree leaned closer, slight and hesitant, hardly noticeable, a question he was afraid to ask. The Jesse McCree he'd met in Blackwatch was nowhere near as empathetic, as gentle. Though he supposed the Genji Shimada that he had been back then was a little different, too. A hand lifted gingerly, pale digits uncurling to reach out, and Jesse shifted further and further until his long, long hair began to curtain the sides of his vision. Genji slid his fingers over one rough cheek with an easy motion.

Less than a minute passed before Jesse grabbed at his wrist. Not rude nor demanding, but pleading, nervous, as if he'd been waiting his whole life to be touched so tenderly and didn't want it to end. Genji's heart felt full. He followed the motion again, other hand on the opposite cheek, holding this man like the most precious jewel. The sensors on his prosthetic were nothing like nerve-endings, but if he pretended hard enough he could feel where warm skin tapered off into a full beard under both palms. Jesse closed his eyes with a little shake of his head.

Tilted his neck. Pushed his nose against Genji's pulse. Then his lips. Parted ever so slightly, hot breath over cool skin, pressed an open-mouthed kiss there and left it wet for the crisp air. That, he could feel. Spine curved like a cat, Genji shivered, a quiet laugh bubbling at the back of his throat.

Jesse continued up his arm, finding Genji's bare shoulder and daring to touch his chest and he ached, red in the face as he allowed himself to be explored. Teeth slid against his neck. A hint of want, there, like McCree would sink his canines in if he were given the chance. Must be saving it for another time.

He moved up once more instead, breathing right into the junction of Genji's jaw, placing a sweeter kiss underneath his ear and lighting up his nerves.

“¿Quieres que pare?”

Genji shook beneath him.

“Jamás.”

Jesse’s turn to laugh, this time, whether at his pronunciation or just the prospect. They wouldn't do anything. Not today. Not while boundaries were still being discovered, hardly talked about, tip-toed around in favor of attempting to seem normal. Genji didn't know why they even tried. But McCree pulled back, those big brown eyes open once again, shining as the sun really began to rise.

“I love you.” Gritty with arousal and exhaustion. He looked tired. Jesse McCree slept but did not rest, this life aging him in ways he preferred not to talk about. Genji pressed the pad of his thumb into Jesse's bottom lip. It was a secret, still, what they had. Those words, at least. Never spoken outside of these four walls. Maybe in the future, when the world took a break from needing to be saved. When they could say it confidently without fear of it being the last time. Still, Genji used his grip to pull their faces closer, noses bumping so he could have what he wanted.

Just a quick kiss. The kind that you give someone when you have every reason to expect infinitely more. They didn't have all the time in the world, but if he pretended hard enough...

“More than anything,” he agreed, shitty little smile just to get one in return.

“With all my heart.”

You were the one thing I got right.