Archive of Our Own ^beta

~

torn and restored (and torn again)

i.

Harrison creeps out of his room, bare feet padding across the cool, wooden floors, and listens.

The house is quiet. It’s always quiet, now that William’s gone. No loud, beeping toys. No cartoons playing on the television. No children’s music blaring from the little portable CD player in the playroom.

His parents’ room is quiet. They’re always quiet now, tiptoeing around him both literally and figuratively. They rarely speak to him, no more than a few words here and there. The only times he really hears their voices now is late at night, when they cry behind their closed door.

The room across the hall, William’s room, sits quiet and empty. No one’s been inside for a month now.

Harrison walks past it, towards the staircase to get himself some breakfast. It’s early, and all the lights are off, the house illuminated only by the sunlight streaming through the windows. It may be a Saturday, and the first day of summer, but Harrison is awake anyways. As far as he’s concerned, summer just means he’ll have more time to work on his magic.

Every day, when he gets home from school, he goes straight to his room. He spends all his time practicing, struggling to summon the spark that will bring his brother back. He works late into the night, only coming out to grab his dinner (now cold, left sitting on the kitchen counter) or use the restroom. He works until the neon green numbers of his digital clock start to blur together under his heavy eyelids, and he collapses onto his bed from exhaustion. All too soon, his alarm wakes him up so he can get himself ready for school and drag himself to the bus stop, only to repeat the same thing, day after day for the past month, no change, no chance of possibly-

His stomach growls.

Breakfast. Right.

Rubbing his eyes, Harrison flicks the kitchen light on, turning to the pantry-

He freezes.

His mom and dad sit at the kitchen table, staring into coffee mugs that are no longer steaming. There’s such a stillness to them, but it’s not calm- it’s the stillness you get when the ice cracks underfoot, or of a deer caught in headlights; when the flight or fight reflex fails, and you’re left frozen with dread. Harrison considers retreating back up the stairs when they turn to face him.

The transformation they’ve undergone in one short month is incredible (read; horrifying). Their faces are washed out and hollow, contrasted by the dark bags under their eyes. Hair unkept, clothes wrinkled, eyes tired (but scared- always so scared).

Harrison cringes under their gaze. “Sorry.” His voice is hoarse, a consequence of the early morning. “I’ll just-”

“Harrison.”

He startles at his mom’s voice, head whipping up to meet her eyes. He holds his breath, tense and listening, as Mom swallows hard, seeming to gather her resolve. She holds something out to him; a folded paper, shaking slightly in her grip. Harrison takes it from her carefully, eyes never leaving her face, before retreating a step to read it.

It’s a brochure for something called Camp Campbell- the words MAGIC CAMP shout out at him from the cover. He unfolds it with growing curiosity, skimming the paragraphs of information.

‘Learn real magic! Uncover the truth! Hone your abilities and realize your true potential!’ it reads. ‘No tricks, no gimmicks, satisfaction guaranteed.’

His heart skips a beat, and he looks up at his parents. The hope building in his chest is reflected in their eyes.

“We think this can… help you,” Dad says quietly. “The bus leaves tomorrow.”

Harrison blinks back the sudden sting of tears. “Okay.”

A real magic camp… this might be just what he needs. This whole time he’s been on his own, trying to reverse his magic without even understanding it. If he had someone to guide him, teach him how to control it… he might be able to bring William back.

Overcome with emotion, he moves to hug them. They flinch away, and Harrison remembers. He steps back and gives them a weak smile.

“I won’t let you down,” he promises.

Without waiting for a response, he turns and disappears back up the stairs to start packing.

ii.

Harrison is six years old when they bring William home from the hospital.

He marvels at the tiny bundle cradled in his mother’s arms, and thinks it’s the grandest magic trick he’s ever heard of; to make life appear out of nothing. He asks her how she did it, where she got the baby from (forgetting all the times she’s told him why her belly has gotten round) and she laughs- a beautiful sound- and replies, “a magician never reveals their secrets.”

(When Harrison is six, his interest in magic is something sweet, something harmless.)

His father laughs too, and puts a hand on Harrison’s slim shoulder. “What do you think, pal? How’s it feel to be a big brother?”

The baby, William, stares at him with wide green eyes, and reaches out an impossibly tiny hand.

Harrison feels a spark in his very core, a warm feeling spreading to the tips of his fingers and mirroring the huge smile that spreads across his face.

He answers in the only way a six-year-old can; small words to sum up big feelings, beyond his capability to accurately describe. He chooses his words reverently, thinking of the greatest feeling he’s ever felt- his first successful card trick, won after several hard weeks of nonstop effort. He thinks about how once the surprise wore off, the pride and excitement and joy had grabbed his heart and squeezed in the most thrilling way, and all that was left to do was say the magic words.

“Ta-dah,” Harrison whispers.

~

Years pass.

Harrison is still very close with William, and makes an excellent big brother. The two are a dynamic duo, despite the difference in age. His parents couldn’t be happier.

Though, as Harrison grows older, they notice more and more the real passion and talent he has for magic. It’s all he talks about, consuming his every waking moment. Despite his young age, he’s mastered sleight-of-hand that would make professionals jealous.

(It has to be sleight-of-hand. There’s no other explanation, even if the cards sometimes end up in places Harrison didn’t intend them too.)

It’s a slightly concerning development. They don’t want their son to pursue a career as a magician, after all. But he’s having so much fun, and there’s no harm, really, so they humor him, sitting down to watch his little performances and clapping at every little card trick.

(More often than not, their smiles become genuine despite themselves. He just enjoys it so much, and he’s really, really, good.)

Today is one of those days. They’re seated on the couch in the family room, the coffee table pushed back to make room for Harrison’s ‘stage’ (a trifold poster board that’s been covered in sequins and ribbons). There’s some suspenseful music playing on the CD player to set the mood.

William looks up at Harrison with a gap-toothed grin. “It’s time, Harry?” he asks, bouncing on his heels.

Harrison hums his agreement, excitement churning in his stomach. “It’s going to be amazing, buddy!” he stage-whispers. They’re trying a new trick today, one that is sure to blow his parents away.

From the moment he could walk, William’s been acting as Harrison’s assistant. Most of the time, that means he stands to the side and holds props, or helps Harrison come up with stage names. But for a four-year-old, that’s exciting stuff. And, if Harrison’s being honest, it’s kind of nice that his younger brother looks up to him.

Clearing his throat, Harrison steps forward, straightening his top hat importantly.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, lovers of magic… prepare to be mystified and astounded beyond your wildest dreams!” He bends into a sweeping bow, holding a hand out for William to pass him the cape. “For tonight, I, Harrison the Magnificent, have prepared a very special act, the likes of which have never been seen before!”

(Presentation is very important.)

“Watch in awe as I make my assistant… disappear!”

Harrison whips the cape around with a flourish before draping it over William’s smiling face. His grip tightens on the shimmering fabric.

“Abra-kadabra!”

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and pulls the cape away.

“Ta-dah!”

There’s nothing underneath it.

Harrison stares at the empty space for a moment before breaking out into a grin. A thrill of adrenaline rushes through him, spreading all the way to the tips to his fingers. He did it, he actually did it! This was a huge step; all he’d been able to manage before was cards, flowers, stuffed rabbits… typical cheap magic stuff. But this- this was the real deal. This was impressive, this was incredible, this was impossible!

Harrison the Magnificent, indeed.

He’s brought back by the expressions on his parent’s faces. What was first amusement and interest has become shock, confusion- Dad looks around like he might see William hiding behind the couch, and Harrison’s never seen his mom’s eyes that wide.

Right, of course.

“And now, to bring him back.” Harrison holds the cape back out, a winning smirk on his face. “Ala-kazam!”

William isn’t there.

Harrison falters, blinking at the empty space. His mind comes to a screeching halt, skipping like a scratched disc in their CD player.

“Um. This- this isn’t supposed to happen,” he stammers.

Mom looks amused. “Trick needs a bit more work, huh? Will, honey, come on out now,” she calls, glancing around.

She thinks William must’ve missed his cue, Harrison realizes, his heart starting to pound. She doesn’t believe he really made William disappear.

Harrison waves the cape again, a bit frantically, and tries again. “Ala-kazam! Abracadabra! Uh, hocus pocus!”

Mom sighs. “Okay, Harrison, where’s William?” Her voice is annoyed now, but there’s a slight crease of worry at her eyes.

“Uh, don’t worry, I can bring him back!” Harrison says quickly, with a confidence he doesn’t feel. “William, appear! Presto-change-o!”

Dad stands up and starts looking around the room, into the kitchen, the bathroom, up the stairs-

Mom stands up as well, putting her hands on her hips. “Harrison, this isn’t funny, where is your brother?”

Harrison forces down a wave of panic and tries again. “I- um, just- just hang on a second.” He squeezes his eyes shut and waves the cape again, concentrating with all his might, willing his brother to appear.

Nothing.

“Will? William, where are you?” Dad’s voice calls from upstairs, growing more and more desperate. “William?”

“Harrison?” Mom prompts. “Where is he?”

Harrison feels sick with dread. “I- I don’t… I don’t know.”

Mom stares at him, and the color drains from her face, realization and horror dawning in her eyes. “Harrison, what did you do?”

The question crashes into him like a wave, adding to the whirlpool roaring around him- the shock, the confusion, the fear. Ice-cold terror seizes him by the heart and squeezes in the most unbearable way, and there’s nothing he can do.

The cape slips through his gloved fingers, pooling to the floor like water, and Harrison’s knees buckle.

What has he done?

(Harrison the Monster.)

iii.

Harrison doesn’t see his parents again until the next day, when they leave for the camp bus stop.

He drags his suitcase down the stairs and outside, his nerves thrumming with excitement and anticipation. He’s never been to a summer camp before (summer is a time for family, they always spend it together) and he isn’t quite sure what to expect.

His parents are waiting by the old station wagon, as nervous as ever. Their faces twist when they see him, full of pain and fear.

It takes him a moment to realize why; he’s dressed in his magician’s outfit, a black lapelled vest and top hat with white gloves. They haven’t seen him in it since that day. He’s worn it since then, of course. He always wears it when he practices, locked away in his room.

(The magic has something to do with the outfit, he thinks. That’s why all the great magicians wore one.)

They don’t say anything, though. Harrison gives them an apologetic smile and climbs into the backseat.

The drive there is quiet. They don’t listen to the radio, they don’t talk. Every now and then, Harrison catches his dad’s uneasy eyes in the mirror before they dart away.

He swallows his disappointment and leans against the window, eyes tracking the blurs of trees that pass by. They didn’t used to be scared of him. But after William… everything changed.

And it doesn’t really help that since then, he’s had more… mishaps, than before. Sometimes, his intense concentration sets spontaneous fires in his room, small bursts of flames erupting from his gloved hands without warning. Just last week, he got frustrated, lost his temper, and the ground beneath their house started to shake.

His parents won’t say it, but he knows they’re afraid he’ll hurt them. Or make them disappear, like William.

Harrison brushes the thought away. He isn’t dangerous- and once he brings William back, everything will go back to normal.

(It has to.)

The drive is a couple of hours, and then he gets on an old yellow bus and drives for a couple more. (His parents don’t even get out of the car to wish him goodbye, giving him tight smiles and quick waves before they speed off, the station wagon vanishing down the road.)

If this ride seems to go by a little faster, it’s only because Harrison is nearly beside himself with anticipation. When the bus shudders to a stop with a high-pitched screech he’s the first one off, eager to get a look at what will be his home for the next three months.

Harrison’s expecting a magic camp, someone with real training who can help him control his powers.

Instead, he gets David and Gwen (who have no magic experience whatsoever), a stack of magic books (old and torn), and a bucket of magic props (broken and cheap). A shoddily-constructed stage with a ratty curtain, and that’s it.

When he brings the question up, David (the friendlier of the two counselors) takes him aside and explains in the nicest, most polite way possible that their advertisements are “a tad bit exaggerated”- (read; completely fake). Apparently, the guy in charge of the camp, whom they have yet to even meet, thinks he has to outright lie to attract campers.

Looking around at the dilapidated buildings, overworked staff, and equally disgruntled campers, Harrison almost finds himself agreeing.

It has thrown somewhat of a wrench into his plans, however. If there isn’t anyone to teach him real magic, he might as well have just stayed home and saved his parents the cost of tuition.

But Harrison isn’t one to give up. He’s here now, so he’ll have to make the best of it. At least he’s out of the house, away from that suffocating, too-quiet atmosphere. A change of scenery will do him good.

Besides, he made a promise.

(Harrison the Determined.)

iv.

Camp is… eventful, to say the least.

The counselors are interesting, even if David tries too hard and Gwen doesn’t try at all. (The Quartermaster, Harrison has decided, is to be avoided whenever possible.)

The other campers are even more interesting.

Preston is fun to hang out with, his flair for the dramatic rivaling Harrison’s own. Ered is cool, Dolph and Space Kid are nice, if a bit naive, and Nikki is… enthusiastic, to say the least.

But the best part? They actually like his magic!

The first time one of them asks to see a magic trick, it takes him a second to realize it’s not a joke. No hint of scorn in their voice, no teasing, and, thankfully, no fear- just genuine interest reflected in curious eyes. So he obliges, hesitantly, making a card from the deck he’d been shuffling absentmindedly appear inside Space Kid’s helmet. (He’d been aiming for the pocket of Ered’s jacket, but the effect is the same- wide eyes and gasping and cheering all around.)

From that moment on, his magic is cool. A welcome change of pace, to say the least, from the life he’d been living at home. And he didn’t even realize how much he’d missed it- his magic is a part of him, whether his parents like it or not, and to have it be accepted…

It feels… nice. Nice to be himself without sending someone screaming.

But of course, not everyone feels the same way.

Nurf, unsurprisingly, sees the magic get-up and immediately adds Harrison to his comprehensive list of targets. (Harrison’s not surprised- there’s a reason why he was bullied in school.)

Max hates everything and everyone, and isn’t afraid to go to extremes just to let you know it. (Harrison isn’t sure if Max even has a problem with his magic, or if he just hates Harrison on principle.)

Nerris is annoying. (Comparing her silly fantasy game to his magic cheapens it, makes it feel trivial, somehow, and Harrison doesn’t appreciate that.)

Neil is even more so, proclaiming loudly to anyone who will listen his disbelief in magic. (“A hoax, a sham, a trick,” he calls it, and Harrison seethes- losing his brother wasn’t a trick.)

For the most part, he’s able to ignore it. Stick to his own, and try to survive the endless crazy hijinks the camp gets up to (and practice, always practice), but it still grates on him. The other kids like his magic, so why the hell can’t Neil? After a while, even Nerris comes to an understanding with him (which is putting it generously; she still, laughably, believes herself to be the superior ‘magic kid’). But Neil won’t let it go.

It all comes to a boil on an unassuming day- Harrison’s taken Nikki on as a pseudo-assistant (she can’t do real magic, of course, not like him, but it's company), pushing down the panic that flares up at the thought of including someone else in his tricks. He promises himself he’ll be careful, and Nikki wouldn’t leave him alone until he agreed, anyways, so really, he didn’t have a choice. But if he’s being honest… it’s nice to have someone looking up to him again.

(He pushes that thought down even quicker than it comes; Nikki is not William.)

Everything’s fine until Neil storms their magic show, ranting about science and sleight-of-hand and ‘magic isn’t real’ and Harrison can’t take it anymore. He’ll make Neil believe, by doing something unexplainable, impossible, something nobody could fake.

(Harrison the Indescribable. Harrison the Awe-Inspiring. Harrison the Unbelievable.)

Needless to say, it doesn’t quite go to plan.

The trick he pulls with Max leaves him a bit shaken, even though he won’t admit it. It was a bit extreme, even if he’d intended it for Neil, and he doesn’t like how much it seems to have affected Max. He might’ve (should’ve) checked up on Max afterwards, to make sure he was okay, but Max was never his friend. If anything, he’s been just as big of a pain as Neil, with his dogged determination to make everyone as miserable as he is.

Besides, he’s fine, it’s not like Harrison really hurt him. It’s no big deal. He gets Neil to say he believes in magic, enlisting Nikki’s help in an elaborate plan, and afterwards Neil finally stops trying to get Harrison to ‘explain’ his ‘tricks.’ Everyone moves on with their lives, and everything turns out just fine.

And in any case, he makes a personal vow not to direct his magic at people again, should something go wrong.

Not that it will. Harrison is confident in his abilities. That was a fluke.

(Harrison the Capable. Harrison the Reliable. Harrison the Totally-in-Control-and-Not-Worried-At-All.)

v.

Parent’s Day is a train wreck.

In retrospect, Harrison’s surprised he ever thought it wouldn’t be. After all, they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and the campers are batshit crazy, so it only makes sense that their parents are, too.

From inmates, to FBI agents, to honest-to-god-astronaut Buzz Aldrin, it’s immediately apparent that the day will be far from boring. Harrison, however, has other things to focus on.

He never thought there was a chance his parents wouldn’t come, but he’s still overjoyed to see them. This is probably the longest he’s ever been away from them. In fact, he’s so excited that for a moment he forgets exactly why they sent him here. He remembers quite abruptly, though, when they cringe away from him in fear.

It doesn’t bother him. He’ll just have to show them how hard he’s been working.

(Harrison the Try-Hard. Harrison the Desperate-to-Please.)

He’ll admit, suggesting the ‘saw-someone-in-half’ trick was a bit ambitious, but he really wanted to show them how much he’d changed. He wasn’t dangerous, and he could prove it! Of course, they never gave him the chance, but he likes to think it would’ve gone off without a hitch.

(… despite the little hiccup he had with his fire earlier.)

But somewhere in between Nikki’s mom and Neil’s dad hooking up onstage, and David, Gwen, and Max up and vanishing from the camp altogether, Cameron Campbell gets arrested by Ered’s FBI agent dads, and Parent’s Day is over before Harrison can blink.

Some of the parents are hesitant about leaving their kids for the remainder of the summer (especially since they found out Camp Campbell was nothing like advertised), but after David turns up to calm things down (and, as it turns out, take ownership of the camp), everyone ultimately stays.

At the end of the day, Harrison has a weird feeling in his stomach, watching the old bus drive away. As much as he missed his parents, it was… hard to be around them.

(Like that makes any sense…)

He supposes it would be easier if they weren’t so scared of him. If, instead of shaking and stuttering and watching him with wide eyes, they actually talked to him. Treated him like their son, instead of a venomous snake.

But that’ll all change- once William’s back. Harrison’s certain of it. Yes, it’s difficult now, and things will probably be awkward or tense for a little while, but soon enough his loving, caring parents will be back to take the place of these scared, distrustful strangers wearing their faces like masks. Harrison just has to be patient.

(And never once does he consider that things might not go back to normal.)

vi.

Parent’s Day was a wakeup call.

Admittedly, Harrison had lost sight of the reason he was at camp, and that had to stop. From that moment on, Harrison is focused on one thing and one thing only; bringing William back.

He breaks away from his friends all at once, forgoing Nerris’ game sessions and Preston’s rehearsals in order to retreat to his stage to practice. He skips meals as often as he can get away with it, David dragging him back to the mess hall more often than not. He skips any camp activity that isn’t mandatory, sitting through the ones that are with impatience and anxiety before rushing back to his stage at the first opportunity.

For the most part, his behavior goes unnoticed. The camper’s parents have become the new hot topic of conversation. The revelation that Space Kid is actually related to Neil Armstrong is unexpected- there’s a short time where they debate on whether they should call him Neil or not. (Ultimately, the nickname stays. Two Neils would be too confusing.)

Max runs a betting pool on why Nurf’s mom was arrested, and pretty much everyone has a guess. Nurf finds out about it, but instead of being mad he starts dropping vague and cryptic hints about her sentencing, leaving everyone more confused than before.

And of course, the scandal between Nikki’s mom and Neil’s dad is hard to beat.

Some topics, however, have silently been deemed off limits, like why Preston lives with his grandmother, or how Nikki doesn’t know her father, or the fact that Max’s parents never even showed up.

Harrison assumes his parents are included in that- anyone could see just how bad things were between them. But once again, he’s surprised by the sheer obliviousness of his fellow campers.

It happens unexpectedly, about a week after Parent’s Day. Harrison’s on his stage practicing, as is common now.

He’s been working on his vanishing and summoning for most of the day, making a small prop appear and disappear in his hat. He’s using a lightbulb- after the platypus egg incident, he wants to learn to manipulate fragile objects without breaking them. (After all, he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt William when he brings him back.)

Small steps; once he can consistently bring back vanished objects, he can try something bigger. Harrison’s pulling the lightbulb from his hat (after only three tries this time!) when Nerris runs up to the stage.

“Harrison! There you are!” Nerris is slightly breathless in her excitement. “Guess what? My questing party’s found a level 7 dungeon with an Elder Druid boss battle! You’ve gotta come see-”

“I can’t right now,” Harrison cuts her off, ignoring the painful twinge of protest that rises within him.

Nerris’ face falls. “What’s up with you? You never wanna hang out anymore!”

“I’m busy-”

“With your magic, I know, I know.” Nerris huffs in annoyance. “Is this about your parents?”

Harrison freezes.

“On Parent’s Day,” Nerris continues. “They were being, like, super weird around you. And I overheard them shouting something about your brother disa-”

The lightbulb in his palm explodes with a loud pop, showering fragments of glass onto the stage floor. Nerris breaks off abruptly, taking a surprised step backwards.

The sudden silence is overwhelming. Harrison’s jaw tightens, and he stares carefully at the ground.

“I don’t want to hang out with you, Nerris,” he says. “Go bother someone else.”

Nerris inhales sharply, takes another step back and she’s gone.

Listening to Nerris run away is shards of glass in his chest, but he doesn’t call out to stop her. The look Preston gives him later that day, filled with hurt and confusion, pushes them in deeper, pricking at his heart, but he doesn’t say anything. The atmosphere in the tent the three of them happen to share is suffocating, but he doesn’t apologize.

He gets his wish, in the end- Nerris and Preston leave him alone, and he couldn’t be happier.

(Read; more miserable.)

(Harrison the Heartless.)

vii.

Harrison’s eyes burn.

He stares at the cape as if trying to will it to burst into flame (though he’s careful not to; this is his second replacement). He gives it another half-hearted wave, the magic words slipping out in a tired mumble.

“Hocus pocus…”

Nothing. Just like for the past three hours.

Harrison pinches the bridge of his nose, allowing his eyes a moment’s rest. The midsummer sun beats down on him, hot and oppressive, as the ambient sounds of camp float through the air.

It’s been two weeks since Parent’s Day, and he’s hardly made any progress. It’s his own fault, he reasons. He should’ve been working on this from the start, not getting distracted by goofing off with…

Preston’s voice rings out across the clearing from where the thespian is rehearsing. Harrison knows Nerris is likely with him. The pair are almost always together now, soothing their hurt with each other’s company.

Harrison’s heart gives a painful ache. He longs to be with them, but knows he can’t. William must come first, William should always come first, and besides, it’s not like Nerris and Preston will take him back, anyways. Not after what he did. It’s been hard, staying away from them, but it’s necessary.

(If he tells himself this often enough, he might believe it.)

Shaking his head, Harrison snaps himself out of his thoughts. Focus on what’s important. Taking a deep breath, he lifts the cape up and tries again.

He hasn’t even said the magic words before there’s a flash of light and a loud crack and a burst of fire at his feet knocks him backwards. The explosion dies out as quickly as it came, leaving the faint scent of gunpowder in the air as Harrison stares at the scorched spot on the stage.

Frustrated tears gather at the corners of his eyes, and he struggles to blink them away. Why won’t it work? In all his life, Harrison can never recall something being so difficult. Whenever he was determined to learn a new magic trick, a few weeks of hard practice was usually enough to start to get the hang of it. He was naturally talented, and his good work ethic combined meant that nothing was really unattainable, so long as he didn’t aim too far beyond his current skills. And he’d made William disappear in the first place, right? Bringing him back shouldn’t be more complicated than that!

And yet here he is, almost three months later, no closer than he was the day it happened. No matter what he does, not matter how hard he tries, it just isn’t happening. And he wants it, badly, more than he’s ever wanted anything- so why?

Harrison picks himself up, gripping the soft fabric of the cape in clenched fists. Tears blur his vision, and he can’t help but think that all his effort has been for nothing. The result is always the same. And he doesn’t know how much more of this he can take.

Harrison’s tired. He’s tired in the bone-deep, world-weary way, and right now he wants to give up his self-imposed exile and apologize to his friends. To stop working himself ragged, to let himself breathe and enjoy things again.

Because punishing himself won’t bring William back- and that’s what he’s doing, Harrison realizes, because how could he justify skipping meals and sleep and isolating himself just to work on his magic? None of it worked before, and it won’t work now.

(What would William say, if he could see his big brother now?)

Chewing his lip, Harrison makes his decision. He’s done carrying on this way, because it’s not productive and it’s not healthy and, god damn it all, he doesn’t deserve it. He never meant to do anything to endanger William, never in a million years; it was an accident.

And he can fix it, but he’s not going to do it alone. Harrison turns on his heel, the cape billowing behind him as determination reignites within him. He’s going to make up with his friends, explain everything, and hope they’ll understand. Hell, maybe they can even help him! Nerris is always going on about her ‘illusion skill’ and it couldn’t hurt to-

“Harry?”

Harrison stops as if he’d turned to stone. The small voice is one he hasn’t heard in months, but is instantly recognizable and painfully familiar.

When he turns around he does it slowly, carefully, as if any wrong movement might break the illusion. But when he finally faces the source of the voice, it’s real flesh and blood that greets him, dark brown hair framing a slightly chubby face, and Harrison drops the cape.

“William?” he breathes, hardly daring to believe it.

“Harry? Where is this?” Green eyes, the same as Harrison’s, blink and look around in confusion. “Is the show over?”

Just like that, the spell is broken.

“William!” Harrison falls to his knees and pulls his brother into a hug, tears streaming down his face. “I can’t believe it, you’re really here! I thought- I thought I’d n- never see you again!” he cries.

William makes a noise of protest, squirming in his grip. “What happened? Where’s Mommy and Daddy?”

“Um, what just happened?”

“Holy fucking shit, that’s a kid!”

“What the hell, Harrison?”

It seems they’ve attracted an audience; the other campers are gathered in front of the stage, staring in shock and disbelief.

Harrison would tell them off for their language (he’s picked up some bad habits himself, but he’ll be damned if his brother will, too) but he’s too busy trying to catch his breath. He pulls away from William and wipes his face, managing a wobbly smile.

“It’s okay, buddy. Everything’s- everything’s okay now.”

(Harrison the Victorious. Harrison the Rescuer. Harrison the Absolved.)

~

It takes a little time to explain everything; first to the other campers, then to a dumbfounded David and Gwen, and then to William himself.

As far as Harrison can work out, that last thing William remembers is their magic show. He isn’t hurt, he isn’t hungry, he isn’t tired- just confused. He looks exactly the way Harrison remembers him, and he starts to wonder if any time passed for William at all.

There’s no easy way to tell a four-year-old he’s been missing for the past few months, trapped in some mysterious, unknown reality or dimension or wherever the hell Harrison sent him, but William accepts it fairly quickly.

“That’s a good trick, Harry,” William tells him, mildly impressed. “Can we go home now?”

David calls their parents, and tells Harrison that they’ll be there that evening. In the meantime, he cancels the day’s planned activities in order to chaperone the two brothers, as William is technically too young to be at camp and thus requires constant adult supervision.

While normally Harrison would find being shadowed all day by David unbearable, he can’t bring himself to care. He decides to just go with it, asking David to give them the Campbell tour.

God, how he’s missed William. He’s missed the sound of little feet trailing after him, the small hand tugging on his vest to get his attention, and the endless, pointless questions (“What’s that, Harry?” “Ered’s skate ramp.” “Why?” “Because she likes to skate.” “Why?” and so on).

Surprisingly, William’s a big hit with the other campers. Harrison would’ve thought they’d find him annoying, but that’s clearly not the case. Maybe they find his innocence refreshing, who knows.

“You’re one cool dude, Will,” Ered tells him solemnly.

“I didn’t even know you had a brother, Harrison!” Nikki exclaims. “Jealous!”

“Perhaps young William would be interested in finger-painting?” Dolph offers.

“Oh, or joining me on my space-ship!” Space Kid chimes in.

“Hey, don’t crowd the little guy!” Nurf warns them. “Children in this stage of development are super prone to being overwhelmed, okay!”

Ultimately, the novelty starts to wear off, and the campers disperse, taking advantage of only half the usual amount of adult supervision (Max was gone the second David made the announcement, Neil leaving shortly after to go try and make sense of everything). Soon, only Nerris and Preston have stuck around.

“Harrison, your brother is adorable!” Preston shouts, pinching William’s cheeks. “Oh my god, look at your little face!”

“So he’s been missing all this time?” Nerris gives Harrison a look of understanding. “That had to suck.”

Harrison smiles half-heartedly, watching as William sticks his tongue out at Preston. “It’s been… hard, yes.” There’s more he wants to say, but now’s not the right time.

Nerris nods, watching him out of the corner of her eye. “But you brought him back.”

“Yes.” Harrison’s eyes sting with sudden tears. “Yes, I did.”

(Harrison the Restorer.)

~

To Harrison’s surprise, they spend the rest of the day together. It’s almost awkward being around Nerris and Preston, the atmosphere thick with the subject they’re avoiding, but he suspects they’re starting to piece it all together. He still feels awful about what he did to them, and he plans to talk to them when he gets the chance, but for now they help keep William entertained and make David’s constant presence more bearable.

(It’s more than he deserves, and Harrison couldn’t be more grateful for it.)

Dinnertime comes faster than expected. Fortunately, William isn’t picky, though he is a messy eater. Harrison’s cleaning a gravy stain off William’s shirt when he hears a familiar car engine outside. He sits up and glances over at David, who nods.

His parents are here.

Pushing down a sudden wave of nausea, Harrison slides off the bench and takes William’s hand. “Time to say goodbye to our friends, Will.”

“Okay, bye!” William waves at Nerris and Preston.

“See ya, little guy!” Preston says cheerfully. “Nice meeting you.”

“For sure!” Nerris grins. “You’re welcome to join my campaign anytime.” She glances over at Harrison, brows knitting together. “You okay, Harrison?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Harrison turns to follow David outside. “I’m finally going to make things right.”

The door of the mess hall closes behind them, sealing off the chatter and noise, and everything is suddenly quiet, almost painfully so. Unconsciously, Harrison squeezes William’s hand tighter.

They round the corner of the building, and Harrison’s throat closes. Their parents are standing by the car, looking like they’ve seen a ghost.

William gasps happily. “Mommy! Daddy!”

And just like that, the spell is broken. Mom and Dad rush forward to embrace William, the four-year-old stumbling on short legs to meet them.

The reunion is emotional, and Harrison looks away, uncomfortable. It’s just another reminder of everything he put his family through.

Seeing his parents so upset makes William upset, and it takes a few minutes for everything to calm down again. When it does, Harrison approaches his parents tentatively, a hopeful smile on his face.

“So… I brought him back,” he says. “Everything is okay now?”

Dad jumps at his voice- a force of habit now. “Yes, I- I suppose so,” he says hesitantly.

They still seem wary of him- which, he reminds himself, is to be expected. They’re all going to need some time to put this behind them for good. But for now, William’s back, and he’s safe, and… he’s going home.

Harrison’s heart aches at the thought of being separated from William so soon. He bites his lip. “Maybe… I could come home early?”

His parents exchange a quick glance, looking alarmed, almost.

“There’s no need for that!” Dad assures him. “There’s only a month left of camp, anyways. Just… enjoy the rest of your summer, pal.”

Mom gives him a smile- hesitant, like she’s forgotten how to. “You did a very good thing, Harrison,” she says softly. “You’ve made our family whole again. Thank you.”

Warmth blossoms in Harrison’s chest, and he suddenly finds himself blinking back tears. All his hard work and dedication… all his pain, and struggle, and despair…. it was all worth it. He’s fulfilled his promise.

Everything’s okay.

“That’s all I ever wanted,” he whispers, returning his mom’s smile.

So, maybe it’s alright if he doesn’t come home right away. After all, William won’t be pulling another disappearing act any time soon (or ever, for that matter). His family isn’t going anywhere. He’ll see them after summer.

His parents straighten up, each with a hand still on William. Dad clears his throat and glances away as Mom purses her lips. The message is clear as day; it’s time to say goodbye.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Harrison kneels down to hug William (and when he does, he doesn’t see the way his parents tense).

“I’ll see you after summer, buddy,” he says.

“Okay.” William gives him a gap-toothed grin, uncomprehending.

Harrison watches his family climb back into the car. His parents give him a tight smile and a quick wave, and then they’re gone.

He watches the car disappear down the road. He sighs happily, feeling the weight melt off his shoulders for the first time in almost four months.

He watches the sunset, and ignores the small knot of unease that’s formed in his stomach. He ignores the painfully knowing look Max sends his way later that night.

There’s nothing to worry about. He’ll see them after summer.

viii.

The last day of camp arrives faster than he expected.

With William back, Harrison is finally free of the dark cloud that’s been hanging over him. He still practices his magic- not for any specific purpose, but for fun, and it’s like it used to be. He writes a letter home almost every day, asking about William, or telling his parents about a new trick he can’t wait to show them. (They haven’t answered yet, but he doesn’t mind.)

He properly fixes things with Nerris and Preston, opening up about everything and apologizing for cutting them off, and it’s better than it used to be. He collaborates with Nerris on ideas for their next campaign, gives Preston suggestions for his next script, and dazzles them with special tricks he designed just for them.

Time seems to absolutely fly, and just when Harrison is actually enjoying himself. It’s unfortunate, but he accomplished what he came here to do, and that more than makes up for it. So when the time comes to pack up their things and wait for their parents, he consoles himself with the knowledge that he can come back next summer (a decision shared by all the other campers, despite how much they all complained).

Harrison manages not to get overly emotional when saying goodbye to Nerris and Preston. They all exchange phone numbers, and ignore their blushes and the butterflies in their stomachs.

(Or, in Harrison’s case, coughing up the actual live butterfly that spontaneously appears in his throat.)

One by one, the campers leave. Cars come and cars go. The counselors drift by now and again as they take down the campsite and bid fond farewells.

Harrison’s got a lot on his mind, thinking about the sleepover he’s going to have in Will’s room tonight, reuniting with his parents, making plans to call Nerris and Preston first thing tomorrow, and he doesn’t even realize how late it’s getting until the sun slips below the horizon, cloaking the mountainside in darkness.

It’s just him and Max, the smaller boy sitting hunched over a few feet away, and it has been for several hours now. The knot of worry is back, Harrison’s stomach tangled and twisted up like the colorful scarves he conjures up.

“What- what time is it?” he asks.

“And he lives,” Max says in mock surprise. “It’s almost nine, genius. Looks like we were both duped.”

Harrison turns away from him, refusing to accept what Max is saying. There has to be some kind of mistake- his parents should be here by now.

“Come on, come on,” he murmurs, staring at the road. “Any second now.”

“Harrison.” Max’s voice is flat, impersonal. “They aren’t coming.”

“You don’t know that. They could be running late. Or- or maybe they got the date wrong, and they’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Preston’s eight-hundred-year-old grandma managed to get the fucking date right, Harrison, they aren’t coming!”

Harrison tenses. “Shut up.”

“God, open your fucking eyes, idiot!” Max stands up, hands balled into fists at his sides. “Look around! All the kids with caring parents have already left! David and Gwen are probably off trying to get ahold of ours and having panic attacks because, guess what, they can’t, and now all of us are royally fucked! So the least you could do is stop living in denial, and realize exactly how much of a bitch this situation is like the rest of us!”

“Fuck you, Max, what do you know?!” Harrison finally snaps. “My parents love me- something you clearly don’t understand!”

Max’s eyes widen, and Harrison almost regrets the words- right up until the smaller boy tackles him to the ground.

Harrison lands hard, the impact forcing the air from his lungs in a painful gasp. It’s kept away by Max’s knee, digging into his ribs- before Harrison can move, a small fist finds it’s mark above his cheek. The pain of the blow shocks Harrison back to his senses, and he acts without thinking.

He throws Max off with a solid kick to the stomach and scrambles to his feet- to retaliate? To run? His muscles tense as he freezes with indecision. Max recovers quickly, ducking his head as if to lunge again-

“Hey, break it up you guys!”

“Cool it, kid!”

A pair of strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him away- Harrison twists around in confusion to see Gwen, who looks at him with surprise and no small amount of concern. Max is being similarly restrained by David, who struggles to hold the kicking boy.

“Let me go, asshole!” Max shrieks. “Harrison, you son of a bitch, I’m gonna make you eat those words!”

Harrison glares at him, but makes no move to break out of Gwen’s grip. He can feel fire stirring inside him, yearning to be set loose, and it’s a struggle to push it down, to control himself.

Stop. Breathe.

“Max, Harrison, what’s this about?” David demands.

“None of your fucking business,” Max snaps, ceasing his efforts to break free in order to scowl at the counselor. “God, why do you always have to get involved in-”

“He said my parents aren’t coming!” Harrison says accusingly.

Max’s head whips around. “That’s because they aren’t!”

“You don’t know that!”

“Like hell I don’t!”

“Boys, stop it!” David says sternly. “It doesn’t matter who said what; violence is never the answer.”

“Fine, fine, lemme go!” Max squirms out of David’s grasp, like he can’t physically stand being near him. “You don’t have to make such a big deal about it,” he huffs, looking away.

Before an awkward silence can settle, Gwen speaks up. “Well. I certainly didn’t expect today to be this much of a shitshow when I woke up this morning.” She looks over at David. “Quartermaster’s already left, and we were supposed to be done with takedown. What do you wanna do?”

David bites his lip, glancing at the partially deconstructed camp site. “It’s getting late. Go ahead and get them settled in our cabin for tonight, Gwen,” he decides. “I have to go make some phone calls. And Max, Harrison, no more fighting.”

Max rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Whatever. As long as he watches his damn mouth.”

Harrison bites back a retort of “you started it!” and follows Gwen to the counselor’s cabin.

The sudden rush of adrenaline has left him feeling drained, a cold chill sweeping through his bones. He moves as if in a trance, hardly paying attention as Gwen lets them inside. His feet find their way to an armchair, and he almost falls into it. He sits motionless as Gwen moves around digging out extra blankets and pillows, as David drags their suitcases inside, as Max bitches about going to bed because “it’s only 9:30, I’m not a senior citizen!” but listens to Gwen anyways when she tells him to go get changed.

Everything fades to static as a kind of numbness spreads through him, all the way to the tips of his fingers. Weight seems to press down on him like his body’s suddenly turned to lead, but at the same time there’s this lightness building in his chest, as if something inside of him is trying to drift up, out, and away. It’s a dizzying sensation- contradiction woven into his very being.

He’s brought out of it by Gwen’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, you doin’ okay, kid?” she asks, her voice low.

Harrison turns to look up at her. “They’ll be here,” he says. “Don’t worry.”

Gwen gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes before letting her hand fall away. “Okay. Why don’t you go get ready for bed?”

Harrison nods and slides off the chair. Now that he’s told Gwen not to worry, it would be hypocritical of him to do the same, so he pushes the uneasiness and doubt and fear to the back of his mind.

He doesn’t think about it on his way to the bathroom.

He doesn’t think about it as he brushes his teeth and changes into pajamas.

He doesn’t think about it when he lays down to sleep.

(They’ll be here.)

ix.

It storms that night.

Curled up on an old armchair, Harrison stares at the sheets of rain pounding against the window. Occasionally, an arc of lightning will flash, illuminating the counselor’s cabin just enough for him to see Gwen’s sleeping form, the huddled shadow of Max on the chair opposite him, David’s empty bed.

(The redheaded counselor, who moved to the mess hall to make his phone calls so he wouldn’t keep them up, had offered them use of his bed, but they both declined; Max, because he hates charity of any kind, and Harrison, so he wouldn’t get shown up.)

Pressing his cheek against the soft fabric of the chair, Harrison lets out a quiet sigh. Everything feels confused, like pieces of him have been shuffled around like a deck of cards. Max’s words keep ringing in his head, adding to the nausea in his stomach.

His parents wouldn’t leave him. He knows this. Sure, things might take a while to go back to the way they were, but he’d brought William back! Everything was fixed now, no harm done, and honestly he’s being ridiculous, to even consider it… they live quite far from the camp, and right in the path of the storm as it travels up the mountains, so they’re probably waiting it out. The station wagon is an old piece of work, and Dad is a very careful driver, so he wouldn’t want to risk it, and they’ll come tomorrow. First thing.

More memories drift through his mind, flashes of moments like the lightning through the window. His mom’s hand combing through his hair in calm, soothing strokes as he cries, curled up against her (it’d been a particularly bad week for bullying, back when he was younger and more vulnerable). His dad’s laugh as he bends over to pick him up, lifting him onto his shoulders (Harrison liked to pretend he was levitating, like that magician he’d seen on the TV). Both of their smiles as they sit together on the couch in the living room, watching him drape a cloak over William and-

A clap of thunder shakes the wooden cabin, trembling through the foundations.

Harrison swallows, his throat suddenly tight, and squeezes his eyes shut. He pushes the treacherous thoughts away, angry and unsettled. There’s no use getting worked up about it- everything will make sense in the morning. He just has to hang on until then. He can do that.

Resolved, Harrison spends the rest of the night watching the rain.

(And if he notices Max’s shoulders shaking with silent sobs, he doesn’t say anything about it.)

x.

It’s a slow crawl to morning, waiting as the storm dies down and the sky outside changes from black to grey. The sun’s hardly risen before Gwen ushers them up and out to see David at the mess hall.

Their shoes sink in the rain-softened earth. With the camp half-deconstructed as it is, the mud, puddles, and fallen tree branches make the place look like a disaster zone. Most unnerving is the silence; being the only ones at camp feels wrong, like being at school on a weekend, and Harrison can tell even Gwen doesn’t like it.

The heavy wooden door of the mess hall opens with a creak, and they shuffle inside.

David looks like he hasn’t slept at all. From the amount of phone calls he’s probably had to make, that’s a very likely possibility.

“Hey there, campers.” David gives them a tired smile, more genuine than usual but sadder, too, and it’s bittersweet. “Sleep okay?”

Max laughs without humor. “About as well as you did, from the looks of it. Jesus, you look like an extra from The Walking Dead.”

“Yeah, well, it was a crazy night,” David says mildly, exchanging a look with Gwen.

They all take a seat on the long wooden bench, but no one reaches for the food that’s been set out. David seems to read the questions written on their faces, because he sighs.

“Okay. Well, the first thing I did was try and call both of your parents.” He turns to Harrison first. “After trying both contact numbers several times, and getting nothing, I had to call local child services and explain the situation. We’re technically supposed to give it a twenty-four-hour wait period, but since we have to be off grounds by noon today, I managed to get them to dispatch an officer to go check on your home.”

There’s a pause as David runs a hand through his hair, steeling himself.

“Harrison, it’s… not good news.” Though his voice is soft, David’s expression is too serious, too honest. “The police have reason to believe your house has been abandoned.”

He goes on to explain, saying that when the police found the house empty, door unlocked, they asked the neighbors when they’d been there last. Turns out that was one month ago (right after they brought William home). The house was a mess, clothes and things pulled out and left lying everywhere (they’d packed in a hurry). There was food rotted in the fridge, utility bills left unpaid, and mail piled up in their box.

(His letters; unread, abandoned-)

Harrison only hears half of it, soft and distant over the blood roaring in his ears. He feels something break in his very core, and clenches his hands into fists, extinguishing the flames that are forming at the tips of his fingers.

Before he can even register it, his legs are moving- stumbling backwards out the door, outside and away, into the forest. He might hear someone calling after him, but it’s distorted, like he’s underwater, and it fades away as he runs farther from the cabin.

He doesn’t look where he’s going, he doesn’t think. His chest is tight with panic, a frenzied need to get away- he runs as if he can escape it, runs until he can’t anymore, bursting into a clearing surrounded by trees. He almost trips to a stop, bracing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

It’s quiet out here, everything still save for the rusting of leaves that might be a bird startling away, disappearing in a flurry of feathered wings like doves vanishing into his hat. The only sound is the pounding of his heart, exhilarated by his sprint, that beats a frantic rhythm in his chest.

There’s a small puddle of rainwater at his feet left over from last night, collected in what might’ve been a rabbit’s burrow once upon a time. He watches his reflection waver on its surface- a boy with a face like a broken mask, dressed in a magician’s costume.

Harrison is suddenly filled with hate.

Gone first are the gloves, their pristine white darkening into brown as he stomps them into the soil. Next is his vest and tie, torn with a loud rip and discarded. Followed finally by the top hat, hurled to the ground with a wordless cry and flattened beneath his shoe.

Gone is the costume, the showman, the glitz and glam and presentation of a boy playing hopelessly out of his depth. His persona, his very essence of self, lies muddied and shattered on the forest floor, leaving him stripped and raw and burning.

(The face that looks back up at him now is plain and scared and different. It’s as if he’s pulled another vanishing act, this time on himself, and left a stranger in his wake.)

The air is filled with static and his mind is screaming and it’s all too much. Harrison drops to his knees as the breath leaves his lungs in a strangled gasp, hot tears streaming down his face. His whole body shakes as sobs tear through him, baring his teeth in a grimace.

(Harrison the Unwanted. Harrison the Abandoned. Harrison the Unloved.)

Breathless, he digs his fingers into the damp earth, the sensation cool on his bare skin. He squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to inhale slowly, hiccupping and trembling.

They left him. They actually went and left him. The words echo around his thoughts, and he still can’t make sense of them. He’d been so sure that bringing William back would fix everything, that they could go back to the way they used to be. But instead, they took William and fled from their home to make sure Harrison wouldn’t- couldn’t- take him away again (the amount of distrust and fear they have for him is staggering- to think he would ever do anything to hurt them-) and he realizes now they must have decided that they loved William more.

The part of Harrison that hates William right now is only rivaled by the part of him that is screaming for his brother, revolting at the thought of never seeing him again, at the unfairness, at the cruelty of it (he thought he had his brother back). It’s confusing and disorienting and he thinks he might be sick.

(How could they do that to him?)

Harrison hears footsteps behind him, and wraps his arms around himself, swallowing hard. “Go away, David, I don’t want to talk right now.”

“If you ever call me David again, I’ll kick your ass.”

Max. Great.

The younger boy comes to stand next to him, taking in the destroyed magic costume with slightly raised eyebrows. Harrison sniffs, wiping absently at his eyes.

“What do you want?” he asks miserably.

Max jerks his shoulders in a shrug. “Look, David was gonna come check on you, but I figured we both needed a break from his ‘positivity’ and fake caring and that stupid fucking ‘kicked puppy’ look in his eyes so I came instead.” He scuffs at the grass with his sneaker. “So, not that I care, but… are you okay?”

Harrison laughs hoarsely. The thought that Max might be worried about him is funny, almost. “No. You?”

“Only never,” Max says dryly. “David said that when the cop knocked on my parent’s house, they said they weren’t coming back for me. That I was someone else’s responsibility now, because they didn’t want me anymore.”

A lump forms in Harrison’s throat. Not only are the words horrible, but the way Max says them, like he isn’t even surprised…

“I’m sorry,” he tells Max after a moment. “I… I don’t understand how someone can just… stop caring, just like that.”

“They can when it’s convenient.”

Harrison glances sidelong at Max. “Is that what happened with yours?”

Max shakes his head, sighing heavily. “Nah, mine never cared. Not since the day I was born.” He sits down next to Harrison, tucking his knees to his chest. “Not that I give a shit. It’s always been like this, so I’m used to it. In a way, I guess you’re even worse off than I am, and that’s saying something.”

It might’ve been an insult, if Max’s voice wasn’t so raw.

Harrison blinks away rapidly forming tears, biting his lip. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he says quietly. “I brought him back, things were supposed to go back to normal. I just made a mistake…”

(Harrison the Fuck-up. Harrison the Freak. Harrison the-)

Stop. Breathe.

The buzzing in his skull recedes enough for him to take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “You were right, Max,” he says simply, the words like wood chips on his tongue. “They don’t want me anymore, and it’s all my fault.”

“To hell with that!” Max snaps, bright teal eyes narrowed in anger. “They’re the ones who’re wrong! What they did was pretty fucking messed up- any moron could see how much you cared about your brother! I mean, what kind of shitty people just abandon their kid at a summer camp-”

His voice breaks abruptly, biting off the words, and he glances away, fingers digging into the sleeves of his faded blue hoodie.

Harrison feels a pang of sympathy. He shifts over slightly, just so that their shoulders are lightly touching; a quiet show of solidarity.

Max curls in on himself, but doesn’t move away.

They fall into silence, watching a few wispy clouds drift slowly across the pale sky. They listen to the pines sway in the breeze, with air that still smells of rain. They don’t acknowledge the tears when they come, dripping quietly down their faces. They breathe with the forest, taking in its deep browns and greens and the grays of the distant mountains, looming tall and indifferent and impressive over them.

It’s a beautiful backdrop, Harrison thinks, for his life to fall apart to.

~

Torn and Restored; noun. A classic magic trick in which something is destroyed, and then restored to its original state.