Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I'm helping out with the theatre performance."

Jimin had never spat out his water so fast in his life. The liquid went all over the younger mans shirt, making him shift back in his seat in disgust. "You're shitting me, right?"

Jungkook wiped his face. "Asshole. Why'd you do that?"

Jimin rubbed the remaining water on his face into his arm, giggling into it slightly as his friend continued to snarl at him. It wasn't Jimin's fault he found what Jungkook said so ridiculous. They had just been bingeing old spongebob episodes when Jungkook decided to drop that bomb out of no where. He noticed the younger mans slightly tinted cheeks.

"Wait, you're actually serious?" Jimin asked, letting his arm drop onto the floor of their shared apartment. Their takeaway sat right next to them, waiting to be touched by the hungry males soon. Jungkook nodded silently, opening the box of the 3rd pizza they had ordered this week. Jimin couldn't believe what was actually happening. Jeon Jungkook was going to help out in a performance? With the theatre kids? Jeon fucking Jungkook?

Jungkook shot him a glare. "Stop looking at me like that, you fucker," pointing out Jimin's shit eating grin.

"This is brilliant. Oh my god. This is amazing!" Jimin almost bounced off the ground like a fairy. It wasn't often he had the upper hand on Jungkook. He was used to this being the other way round. Jungkook gloried the moments when he got to take the absolute piss out of Jimin. It became a regular occurrence, with Jungkook finding something to tease Jimin about. So Jimin cherished these rare moments that happened once in a blue moon.

"Shut the fuck up," Jungkook grumbled, shoving a piece of pizza into his mouth angrily.

"Look how the tables have turned, my friend," Jimin teased, the huge smirk still clear on his face.

Three years he had put up with Jeon Jungkook's ruthless teasing, despite the kid being a whole two years younger. He was going to enjoy this moment while it lasted.

"Put that fucking pizza in your mouth before I choke you with it," Jungkook warned, chewing on his slice.

Jimin shrugged and started nibbling on his pizza, still looking at Jungkook with the same glint in his eye. He might have been enjoying this a little too much.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "What's the big deal? it's not like I'm actually performing with them, I'm just doing them a favour," He tried to reason.

"This is amazing," Jimin repeats, mainly to himself.

"I'm going to beat your ass," Jungkook mumbles. 

"After all those years of talking shit about the theatre kids and making fun of them together, you're now deciding to help them out? Aw man, I wish I filmed all those times you called them fancy fuckers or ass plugs, just to see you reacting to it now. That would be so entertaining," Jimin said as he took an extra large bite of his pizza.

Jungkook narrows his eyes, then turns back to his food in a huff. He can be a real child when he wanted to be. Well, I guess Jimin was acting childish as well, but this was a rare exception for him. 

"What are you even helping them with?"

The younger sighs, scratching his head. "I'm helping them with props."

"What, making them?"

"No, you fucking idiot. I'm helping them move the props. You know, they got a big and heavy set, and they can't possibly hurt their precious fingers, so I'm doing it for them. Do I fucking look like an artist?"

On any other day, Jimin would argue that his roommate was actually quite the talented young sketcher, but today he was in an asshole I'm-going-to-annoy-my-best-friend kind of mood.

"Okay kiddo, I heard you," Jimin holds his hands up in defence. "I swear the theatre majors have asked you at least a hundred times to help out. Didn't you once scare one of them away?"

Jungkook chuckled. "Yeah. I still recon he pissed he pants. I think he was older than me as well."

Jungkook was a little bigger than most kids his age. His arms and legs were thicker than average. His jaw was more defined. His height was also a little daunting at times, especially to Jimin (NOT that he would ever admit that).

In other words, he's really fucking buff. That could be intimidating to some people, especially the goody two shoes theatre majors.

"So why the sudden change of heart?" Jimin asked innocently.

"Nothing in particular," Jungkook said, avoiding eye contact. Jimin pursed his lips, agitating Jungkook even more. "Is it so hard to believe that I wanted to do something nice?"

"Please. Don't try and bullshit me. I know you would never help those guys out just from the pure 'kindness of your heart," Jimin said, with air quotes. "So come clean. Did someone pay you?"

Jungkook looked like he wanted to rip Jimin's hair out, but the older boy was loving every second of it.

"Asshole," Jungkook muttered. He looked down at his abandoned food, pouting for a while, gathering his thoughts. He was a stubborn kid when he wanted to be. "There's this guy there…"

Jimin could not believe his ears.

Jungkook never went out on dates. Jungkook never talked about his love life. Jungkook never ever showed any interest towards anyone. Jimin was almost disappointed when he found out Jungkook hadn't secretly been in love with him all this time and was just waiting for the moment to confess his undying love to him. Jungkook always growled and got really angry whenever Jimin even mentioned Jungkook's lack of partners or very boring sex life, making Jimin almost consider him to not have interest in anyone at all.

"You're crushing on a fucking theatre kid?!"

Jungkook's eyes widened noticeably, and his cheeks turned a little more pink. He groaned loudly as Jimin sat there and stared at him, waiting for an explanation. When Jungkook doesn't answer, Jimin chuckles slightly, leaning his head on his hand.

"I guess its better than one of the poetry guys you used to hang out with."

"Shut the fuck up, Park Jimin."

"You know what? Lets celebrate!" Jimin cheers, heading towards their tiny fridge to grab a couple of beers. One for Jungkook, and three for him, of course.

Jimin dropped himself back down next to Jungkook again, in the same spot his was before, with a big grin on his face. He harshly pats Jungkook on the back, feeling proud of the boy. "It was about time, kook. I've waited years to hear about a special someone from you."

"Oh god, you sound like my dad," Jungkook groans, face palming.

"That's your own fault, you made me this way," Jimin winked, taking his first sip.

"You already sound drunk."

Jimin shakes his head. "I handle my alcohol brilliantly." He flicks Jungkook's forehead. "Stop changing the subject. I want to hear all about him. What's his name? What's he like? Is he cute? Does he have a nice ass?"

Jungkook punched his side, harshly.

"Ouch! Fuck, okay, okay, I get it. Sheesh," Jimin says quickly, rubbing his soon to be bruising side. Jungkook could throw a mean punch when he wanted to. Jimin had been a victim to it many times now. "Forgive me for getting a little excited when you finally have a crush!"

"It's not… a crush," Jungkook pauses, sounding unsure.

"Stop playing the innocent game and admit that you like someone. You can trust me, okay?" Jimin knocks back another gulp of his beer, enjoying the cold bitterness slide down his throat. "The last time I saw you get even remotely freaky with someone was at that party nearly three years ago. And that was with me!"

"Wait… what?"

"Don't you remember? The night we met, we made out and then you ditched me. I was so pissed off at you."

"Slow down. We made out and you never even told me?"

"I thought you knew and were just pretending you didn't."

Jimin pouted, remembering how much he used to like Jungkook. It hurt every time he flat out rejected Jimin, which is why his crush on him didn't last very long. Jungkook knew how much Jimin liked him, and spared him no mercy. How the hell did they end up best friends?

"You were so mean back then," Jimin muttered into his drink.

"It's not my fault you're such a hopeless romantic," Jungkook smirked, back to his normal self.

"You could've at least been nicer that night and politely rejected me instead of slamming me against the wall like an animal, and leave halfway through just as it was getting fun. What kind of a best friend does that?"

"I was drunk you idiot. And besides, you were an awful kisser."

"So you do remember!"

~

Jimin had become very familiar to the dance studios at the university. Some of them were very large, and were often used for big dance groups who were practicing for a very important performance, and classes for a large amount of students. And the others were much smaller, comfortable for regular practice and training. Jimin preferred using these studios, one in particular; It had the best natural lighting in the room, and the sound from the speakers seemed to bounce off the walls more naturally than in the other studios. Jimin always tried his hardest to snag the room first before any of the other dance majors could get their sweaty hands on it. He liked to think at the room belonged to him, in a sense. 

Today, he had reserved the room all day to practice the dance he was working on. He had choreographed it himself, and needed to make some serious improvements on it. It had so many flaws, this time practicing was crucial for him.

After yesterdays fiasco with Jungkook, Jimin still didn't know anything about his roommates mystery man. Jungkook was very tight lipped, despite Jimin's constant wining and begging the whole night. He thought the kid would eventually give in and spill his guts, but Jungkook wouldn't budge.

"Hey Jimin!"

Just as Jimin put the key in the door of the studio room, he heard his name being called. He turned to the direction of the voice, and saw the familiar red haired man approach him.

"Hobi-hyung!" Jimin replied, watching the said man get closer. "Hows the finger?"

Jimin's eyes zoomed into the small pinky on Hoseok's left hand, which had been tapped to his ring finger to keep it in place.

"Still broken, if thats what you're wondering," He giggled, hiccuping slightly. "Its not fallen off, so thats a good sign, I guess."

"How long do you need to keep it taped up?" Jimin asked, grinning at the green and yellow star tape Hoseok had unsurprisingly chosen to wrap around his injured finger. 

"Six weeks tops, but the nurse said that if I can move it properly after four weeks, I can take i off." Hoseok holds his hand out, wiggling his first three fingers and leaving his other two alone to heal. "Actually, I need to ask you a favour."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "What?"

"I need you to switch studios with me."

Jimin automatically starts to turn his back on Hoseok before the red head grabs his shoulder with his non-injured hand.

"Please please please, Jimin. I really need you to switch with me!" Hoseok begged, shaking Jimin's shoulder backwards and forwards slightly in desperation. 

"Hyung, this is my studio. You know I can't practice anywhere else," Jimin huffed, not wanting to look into Hoseok's innocent, pleading eyes.

"I'm begging you, please!" Hoseok continues.

"Whats wrong with your studio," Jimin asks, sounding sulky.

"It's haunted!" Hoseok answers, looking spooked just at the mention of it. He must've noticed Jimin's unamused face. "Okay, maybe not haunted, but it's damn unlucky in there. It's why I broke my finger!"

"You broke your finger because you slammed it against the wall in excitement."

"Yeah, but it happened in that studio. And plenty of other horrible things have happened in there as well," He spluttered, not sounding convincing to Jimin at all.

Hoseok was easily scared by small and superstitious things. The first time Jimin met Hoseok was when he told him he shouldn't be opening an umbrella indoors after their practice. Ever since then, he got used to Hoseok's excited nature. It could be endearing at times, but this time was just plain irritating.

"Hyung, it's not haunted, and it's not unlucky. You'll be fine in there," Jimin sighed, jangling the keys for his chosen studio in his hand, ready to abandon this topic and leave Hoseok out in the hallway.

"You always get first dibs on this room! I try so hard to get it but I never do, it's just not fair!" He whined like a child, crossing his arms but then quickly regretting it as the pain in his finger became evident.

"Can't help being the teachers favourite." Jimin stuck his tongue out at his hyung, feeling successful in this debate. 

"Please, Jimin. I'm only asking this once." Hoseok's tone made Jimin stop in his tracks.

Don't look back, Jimin. Don't do it.

He'll give you the puppy eyes. He'll show the sad face. Don't be an idiot.

Jimin looked back, and saw the full on Hoseok Puppy Face that he had seen many times before.

You son of a bitch.

~

Jimin huffed and stomped as he walked towards what was meant to be Hoseok's dance studio for the day, and far away from the room that should've been his. That mother fucking fucker, Jung Hoseok, stealing what was rightfully his.

Jimin always got up super early to request his favourite studio, and made sure to always be polite and kind to his dance instructors, complimenting them every now and then. Kissing ass was his speciality, and it earned him the right to choose whichever studio he desired. Hoseok had no right to demand Jimin to give up his well earned studio just because of his fucking stupid superstitions.

And yet, Jimin would do it anyway.

The studio wasn't far from Jimin's preferred room, but it still felt like a miles distance to his stomping legs. He knew that this day was going to be useless. He had attempted to practice in there once before, and it hadn't worked out in his favour.

This studio was one of the few without a lock on it, which meant anyone could walk in at any time. It also had glass doors, which made Jimin feel self conscious when he practiced. It was positioned in a busy hallway with lots of people often walking past and peering in. Jimin didn't want a bunch of snobby dance majors, especially the ballerinas, staring in and catching a glance of his messy state. There weren't a lot of dance majors that he particularly liked, except for Hoseok. They walked around in cliques and were constantly talking shit about everything and everyone. Definitely not Jimin's preferred crowd. Jimin knew he wasn't a pretty sight to see when he was in an intense practice, so it made things very difficult for him when all he could think about was the thoughts of the strangers who had caught a glimpse of him, pouring with sweat and bright red, his insecurities bare faced to all the shit-talking dancers.

He stood outside the large room, looking in. He noticed how the lights were just a little too bright and the walls were a little too wide and the ceiling a little too high, compared to his usual studio.

He sighed. This was going to be a long day, he thought.

He quickly set up his music and got himself started. Despite not being in his familiar and preferred studio, it wouldn't stop Jimin from trying his hardest. It was one of the few qualities about himself he actually liked. He was committed, and wanted to succeed more than anyone.

As the music begun, he started his choreography, keeping in time to the music and trying to flow along with the sound. He was very stiff in this piece, and needed to relax and feel the music, like his instructor told him. Hoseok was very good at being relaxed. His dancing always looked so effortless and smooth. Jimin was always so rough and sharp, never quite being able to achieve the same level of ease as Hoseok always did. It made him frustrated.

He really needed to stop comparing himself to Hoseok.

Halfway through the dance, the doors to the studio slammed open, making Jimin jump. In the doorway stood a tall, dark haired man, blinking rapidly. He looked familiar to Jimin. He had definitely seen his face before around campus.

"What are you doing?" The man said, furrowing his brows.

"Huh?" Jimin responded, heart beating a little fast from the scare.

"I have this room reserved today. You shouldn't be here," he says confidently.

Thats when it clicked. Jimin was talking to Kim Seokjin. President of the theatre association. Lead role in every production that he had participated in since he started college. Starred in numerous TV commercials starting from the age of 4. Voted most handsome guy on campus on an online survey taken even year. Everyone knew who he was, and that was a fact. As far as Jimin was concerned, Kim Seokjin was campus royalty. There was always someone talking about him, and there was always rumours and drama somehow centred around him. Last he heard, there were multiple huge companies trying to scout the wonder boy. Jimin wouldn't be surprised if the rumour was true.

Jimin blinked a few times. The man across the room stood tall, his posture oozing confidence and demanding your attention. His feet stood evenly apart, hands on his hips, and his head tilted slightly. Jimin's dance teachers always reminded him the importance of body language and posture; it changes the way someone perceives you, and gives you that hidden demanding aura that a performer needs. From that one glance Jimin took at Kim Seokjin, he could see the aura his teachers always told him about.

"It's not polite to ignore someone when they are talking to you."

Jimin snapped out of his inner monologue to look directly back him. His fingers automatically started fidgeting, and he slouched over slightly. "Uh, sorry but, um, I've also got this room reserved."

He was practically talking to a celebrity, Jimin thought to himself.

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, and looked Jimin up and down. Those were the eyes of someone analysing him. Jimin had seen that look many times before from lots of other performance majors.

"I see," Seokjin said, turning around the close the door. "I guess we'll just have to share."

Jimin hadn't been expecting that response. He'd heard about the famous Kim Seokjin's boiling temper. A lot of students double as dance and theatre students, so he knows a couple of students who have worked with Seokjin before. They have all shared their horrifying experiences with the famous theatre major, almost in tears despite being some of the toughest dancers Jimin had ever met. He wondered how someone could make anyone as thick skinned as those dancers change their entire demeanour, and it made Jimin scared to ever have the possibility of encountering Seokjin himself.

Unfortunately for him, that day had finally come.

Seokjin properly walks into the room, placing his bag down in the corner and started pulling sheets of paper out that Jimin could only assume were from a script. He looks up at the dancer innocently. "Is that a problem?"

Jimin shook his head quickly.

"Good," Seokjin nods, and turns back to the papers in his bag. "I hope you don't mind, but could you practice with headphones on instead of playing your music from the speaker? I find loud music rather distracting."

"Um, okay."

Jimin walked over to the speaker and unplugged his phone hesitantly. He knew that if it were anyone else who barged into his room, he would've told them to fuck off politely. Jimin very rarely can practice when someone else is in the room. He gets nervous easily and often messes up under pressure. Sometimes he'll practice with Hoseok, but only when the red haired boy promises to treat him to beef afterwards.

He plugs his headphones into his phone, and slips it into his pocket. He glances up at Seokjin, who has positioned himself on the right side of the room, currently flipping through his script with a frown on his face. He doesn't look anxious at all knowing he is about to practice in front of a stranger. Jimin is envious.

Just ignore him, Jimin. Look forward, and don't pay him any attention, he tells himself in his head.

He takes a deep breath, and presses play.

~

Lying on the floor of the studio, Jimin looks up at the lights, panting slightly. They are still too bright, and give him a headache. He felt far more ill and nauseous than he had in months. Jimin rarely skipped practice, even on his worst days. Dance was his medicine. He always felt better after relieving the stress for a few hours at the studio. His studio.

He wouldn't feel so uneasy if he were there right now, with its perfect lighting and fantastic speakers and a lock to stop strangers from entering. Fucking Jung Hoseok.

It didn't help that the second present figure in the room had seemingly been watching Jimin practice for the past hour.

Seokjin hadn't been paying attention to him for long, too immersed in his own practice. Admittedly, Jimin had been watching him first, whilst he had been pretending to practice a small dance move. Seokjin completely jumped into character straight away, and was reading from his script; a monologue from a play Jimin had never heard of. He was using lots of old and fancy words and speaking with an accent, so he guessed it was a Shakespeare script. He read out from the script with a bold, fearful voice. He couldn't understand what the character was saying, but he could tell he was angry, hurt, and deeply confused. The pure betrayal that dripped from Seokjin's voice and through the studio, made Jimin stop in his tracks and just… listen.

His words were so powerful, so raw with emotion. He completely became the character and stopped being Seokjin. Jimin found it hard to believe this was just Seokjin practicing. He now understood why the man had such a prestigious name. It was clear to him why everyone flocked to his performances and talked so highly of him.

He was talented.

Eventually, Jimin pulled his attention away from the actor, and turned the volume of his music up in his ears to try and block that powerful voice out of his thoughts. He needed to practice, and Kim Seokjin wasn't going to stop that. If the other man could stand there and do it without the bat of an eyelid then so could Jimin.

Eventually, Jimin realised that Seokjin had been watching him.

Kim. Fucking. Seokjin.

Naturally, that caused Jimin to panic, as he usually does whenever he gets nervous, and started messing up the choreography more than usual. He lay down on the dirty studio floor, tired and frustrated with himself. Once again, he curses Hoseok for making him switch, plotting a way to switch his red hair dye with blue to punish him.

A part of him knows Hoseok would actually enjoy that prank.

There is so much wrong with the choreography. It had flaws in every aspect that Jimin just can't seem to overcome. Its too sharp, too complex, and incomplete. Maybe it isn't even the choreography thats the problem, maybe its just him.

For a dance major, he sure does fucking suck at dancing.

"What piece of music are you using?"

Jimin opens his eyes and looks over at the source of the voice. Seokjin is sat by his bag, a packet of oreos open with his hand hovering over them. Jimin remembers the strict rule of no food allowed in the dance studios, only water.

He leans up off the floor. "You're not supposed to eat in here. It's, um, one of the rules," Jimin says timidly. If he leaves any crumbs and the instructors come in here and see, he'll get a lecture from one of the old crones.

Seokjin shoves a handful of oreos into his mouth, completely unbothered. "I know," he replies, nonchalantly. "But I'm hungry and tired, and since I don't have any coffee, I need some sugar to boost my energy."

Jimin is impressed by the amount of oreos the man stuffed into his mouth. He watches him chew happily, his cheeks puffed out and crumbs sticking to the sides of his lip, reminding him of a hamster.

He swallowed him mouthful. "I asked you a question, didn't I?" His full attention is on Jimin, the intensity of his gaze burning straight through him. "I could hear the music through your headphones. It's not good to be playing music that loudly, you'll damage your ears, and it was very distracting for me."

"Um," Jimin sits up properly, crossing his legs. He felt incredibly awkward. Was Seokjin giving him a lecture? "It's an original piece."

Seokjin raised his eyebrows. "Did you compose it?"

"No way, I'm not that talented." Jimin smiles a little. "I have a friend who's a music major. They composed it for me."

"And did they choreograph it as well?"

"Actually," Jimin starts, wondering why Seokjin is even talking to him in the first place. "I made the choreography."

Seokjin nods slightly, looking at the floor. "It's very good."

Jimin panics, not knowing what to do or say. "I'll, um, make sure to let them know!" Jimin half smiles, avoiding looking directly at the questioning man. "It's a very intricate piece, and it's called Lie. The violin is really mesmerising, and I'm so glad I got the opportunity to use it for-"

"I was talking about your choreography."

Jimin couldn't believe his ears. He was getting complimented by Kim Seokjin.

The Kim Seokjin.

"You get nervous easily, and don't work well under pressure, but you're talented. Your technique is good and its clear you have worked hard to achieve your skills," he continues, grabbing his water bottle and taking a sip.

Jimin feels like he will start hyperventilating if Seokjin doesn't stop talking. How long had he been observing him for? Hearing such praise from someone like Kim Seokjin… how does one process this? How does one react?

He quickly bows his head towards Seokjin incredibly formally, his head hitting the ground. "Thank you! I will keep practicing and improving my skills!"

A few moments passed before he heard a slight giggle coming from the man who just complimented him, and raising his head confirmed it. Seokjin was quietly laughing at his sudden bold actions, covering his face with one hand cutely. His face looked completely different when he was smiling. Seokjin usually came across as intimidating and cold. He was a beautiful man, and Jimin noticed that whenever he saw him on campus. Most people noticed it as well. Both his beauty and his reputation made him out to be incredibly powerful and fearful. But in this moment, whilst Seokjin was smiling and laughing, Jimin didn't feel the same presence. He was still intimidated, but in a different way.

Oh God. Jimin felt his whole face heat up. I can't believe I just did that.

"You just bowed to me like I'm some wise old man who has mastered the art of dance," Seokjin says, still laughing. "Relax, I'm just saying you're a good dancer."

If Jimin's face could've gotten any more red.

"Are you always this bold? I find it amusing." Seokjin composes himself, still smiling directly at Jimin.

"Sorry." He mumbles back. "I get nervous easily, and when I'm nervous I say and do crazy shit."

"Don't apologise. It's cute."

Jimin covers his face with his hands. This is so embarrassing, he thinks. Of all the conversations he could be having right now, the universe decides to completely fuck him over and make him act like a complete fool in front of a stranger who also happens to be the colleges golden boy.

He hears Seokjin shuffle around until he feels something on his head. "Here, have one."

Jimin looks up. Seokjin is leaning over directly above him, the packet of oreos placed on top of Jimin's head. "Usually I don't share but you've made my day with that little stunt of yours. I'd say you deserve it."

Jimin takes the packet from Seokjin's hands, and watches him sit down directly in front of him. "Thanks," he mumbles, making sure not to look like an idiot this time.

He takes one of the treats from the packet, and quietly nibbles on the edge. He takes this time to properly look at the man opposite him, also grabbing another few oreos to eat. They have almost identical posture as they sit; both hunched over, both legs crossed. It was far different to the poised and confident stance that Seokjin presented when he entered the room. Jimin thinks that he is more handsome up close like this. He can see the small detailed freckles on his face, the broadness of his shoulders, the fullness of his lips and eyelashes, the slight messiness of his hair. He is stunning, Jimin thinks. Seokjin looks up at Jimin, who quickly looks away.

Jimin ignores the shiver snaking down his spine, and takes his phone out of his pocket. He feels so incredibly awkward right now. Here he is, eating oreos in the middle of a dance studio, with Kim Seokjin. How often does shit like this happen? Should he say something?

"…Your voice is good."

Seokjin stops chewing. "What was that?"

Jimin sighs. "Your voice is good." He says clearer.

Seokjin's eyebrows raise, questionably. His mouth lifts into a half smile. "What do you mean by that?"

Shit, how do I explain, Jimin thinks. He knows how bad he is with words. "I just, um… Your voice, its really powerful."

Seokjin's smile grows deeper. "Oh?"

"I mean, you're Kim Seokjin. I wouldn't have expected anything less," Jimin practically whispers.

Seokjin reaches up a hand to sweep his fringe from his eyes. "You know my name?"

Jimin almost scoffs. He couldn't actually believe that this man didn't realise how well known he is. "Of course I do. Everyone does."

The dark haired man leans back on his hands. "Okay then, what's your name, dancer boy?" he asked, tilting his head. His hair falls back into his eyes but he doesn't attempt to sweep it away again.

Jimin wants to scream, wants to go back to his practice, wants to forget about this embarrassing conversation which he still has no idea how it started. But he meets Seokjin's questioning gaze. "Park Jimin."

Something lights up in Seokjin's eye. "I see. It's nice to meet you, Park Jimin." He holds out his hand.

Jimin freezes. He didn't expect Seokjin to repeat his name back to him. But it felt nice, having someone important acknowledge him. Seokjin didn't have any malice in his eye, no joke or sudden change of character, he looked sincere and kind, both of which Jimin didn't think Seokjin would ever be towards anyone. He was incredibly polite and showed a subtle gentleness. Jimin had surrounded himself with rude dancers for too long, he was so used to interacting with people who only cared about themselves. He just expected someone like Seokjin to be the exact same.

He took Seokjin's hand, and shook it gently. His hand was warm. 

"It's nice to meet you too."

~

Jimin quickly huddles himself into his dorm, fingers numbing from the coldness outside. He forgot to bring a coat with him before he left that morning, which obviously meant that it just had to rain. Of-fucking-course. He feels like he is going to start forming icicles on his skin any minute now. As he enters, his eyes instantly go to Jungkook huddled under a hoard of blankets.

Jimin notices a slight redness around Jungkook's eyes. He's been crying. Jimin walks towards the couch that Jungkook is sat on. Should he ask him whats wrong? Jungkook never cries, unless something really bad has happened. But Jungkook didn't like being seen as weak. Jimin had come to learn this about his best friend. When Jungkook's parents split up, it took him weeks to open up to Jimin about it, and refused to talk about it with him. Jimin wants to help him, but Jungkook won't let him. So Jimin usually decides to let him come to him when he's ready.

"Did you go to class today?" He asks instead, grabbing a blanket from the pile that Jungkook stole from Jimin's room. 

"I didn't feel like it," Jungkook whispered. "Feeling unwell."

The shorter boy recognised that as Jungkook's code for don't ask about it. 

"Stop stealing all the blankets, asshole. They're mine!" Jimin scowls, yanking a few more from Jungkook. "I don't want your sick germs all over them. How am I supposed to practice if I get sick from them?"

That earned a slight grin from the boy.

Jimin wraps himself up and heads towards the kitchen area. "Do you want a coffee or something?"

"Hot chocolate."

Such a kid, Jimin thinks. He boils the water then pours two cups of hot chocolate into their matching minnie and mickey mugs. Hoseok often teased them for it, calling Jimin and Jungkook out on acting like an old couple.

He hands Jungkook the minnie mug, and sits down next to him comfortably. Jungkook takes a big sip, already looking a little better than he did moments before. Jimin liked knowing the fact that his presence gave Jungkook a sense of comfort when he was upset. Jungkook didn't often show it, but Jimin could tell he appreciated it.

"Did I make it properly this time?" Jimin groaned slightly, knowing how specific his roommate was about his hot chocolate.

Jungkook licks his lips. "It tastes like ass."

"I'm gonna kill you." Jimin starts tickling Jungkook's side, playfully, causing him to shriek.

"I'm gonna spill my drink, ah, stop!"

Jimin does as he's told, mainly because he doesn't want a huge stain on his comfy blankets.

"You're such a dick. Boost my ego once in a while, will you," Jimin sighed, sipping his own mug. It tasted exactly how Jungkook always liked it.

"Okay, okay. Its very good." Jungkook giggled, letting the blankets fall off his shoulders and drinking some more.

It's very good.

Jimin remembers what Seokjin said to him in the studio earlier, complimenting him and his choreography, and instantly started going bright red. That had only been couple of hours ago. Did that really happen?

"Why is your face so red?"

Jimin turns to Jungkook who is looking questionably at him.

"It's just the hot chocolate," Jimin panics, slurping the whole thing down in one go. "It's really hot."

"You're lying," Jungkook grins. "I haven't seen you that red since the time you threw up on Taemin's birthday."

Jimin could feel himself growing more red from the memory Jungkook had just implanted in his brain. "Okay I was feeling ill that night and you still forced me to drink despite me telling you I didn't feel like it, so its completely your fault. I didn't even throw up that much!"

"It was on his birthday cake."

"Oh my god, shut up!"

He buries his face in his hands as Jungkook cackles like a witch.

"You're embarrassed about something. Did you slip and fall on your ass in front of one of those preppy tap dancers again?"

Jimin didn't care about cheering Jungkook up anymore. Not when this brat kept bring up humiliating stories that Jimin had buried deep in the corners of his memory.

"Please just drop it, asshole. I've made myself look like an idiot today and I don't need you making me feel any more like a clown than I already am," Jimin sighed into his hands, feeling his back slowly slide down the couch.

"You don't need my help for that, hyung," Jungkook winked. 

Jimin swore he will get a roommate divorce one day.

"How's lover boy? Still stalking him?" Jimin swerved, turning the embarrassment onto the boy opposite him. He saw the smirk on Jungkook's face disappear, replaced with the familiar tint of pink he saw yesterday.

Jungkook huffed and turned away, looking at his phone. Jimin was glad he got him to stop teasing for once. There is only so much of it he can take. He didn't need to think about Seokjin right now. As far as he's concerned, the whole thing was just an illusion caused by Jimin overworking himself. He's certain he'll never speak to the actor ever again, and he will go back to not knowing Jimin's name, if he hadn't already forgotten it by now.

It's nice to meet you, Park Jimin.

Get a fucking grip, Jimin.

"Come on, koo. Just tell me his name!" Jimin leaned his head on the boys shoulder. "I promise I won't look him up on facebook."

Jungkook ignores him, pretending to type on his phone. Jimin is set on figuring out who it is, just so he has something to annoy Jungkook with. If he won't tell him directly, then he'll find out another way.

"Fine. If you won't tell me, I guess I'll just have to figure it out myself." Jimin pulls out his phone and pretends to dial a number, causing Jungkook to pause.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling my trusted source."

Jungkook scoffs. "What source. You don't know anyone in the theatre association."

Jimin doesn't know why he's slightly offended by this comment. Is Jungkook indirectly saying he has no friends?

"Perhaps you don't know me as well as you think you do," Jimin smiles fakely, continuing to type Hoseok's number into his phone, hoping he wouldn't pick up.

"Oh yeah? Who is it then?" He challenges Jimin, staring him down.

Jimin doesn't think before he answers.

"Kim Seokjin."

Jungkook frowns, a look of confusion clear on his face. "Kim Seokjin." He repeats.

Shit shit shit. Park Jimin you stupid fucking FUCK. Why did he say his name? Wasn't he going to forget all about today and Kim Seokjin like he promised himself? He just needs to stop talking. Forever.

"Yeah," Jimin says, ignoring his thoughts.

"You know Kim Seokjin," Jungkook says as a statement, not sounding like he believes Jimin.

"We're friends, actually," Jimin blurts out quickly, hearing his inner voice telling him to shut up. 

"Bullshit. You hate people like him, Jimin. You said so yourself." Jungkook says slowly, calling out his lying.

He scowls at Jungkook for being right. He did say that, lots of times as well. He could barely stand the people in his own major, let alone theatre majors. They were on a different level of cruel. "Well, maybe I was wrong," He lies through his teeth.

Jungkook shifts, hugging the blankets close to his chest. "I don't believe you."

"Doesn't matter, I'm going to call him anyway," Jimin says, calling the number. It starts dialling.

Jungkook lunges himself at Jimin's phone, knocking Jimin over in the process. "Get off me you big oaf!"

"Give me the phone!" 

"Not until I find out your mystery boys identity!"

Jungkook continues to struggle, almost grabbing the phone. "If Kim Seokjin picks up, you're dead Park Jimin!"

"If Seokjin picks up, I'll ask him to meet me and we'll have a long discussion about lover boy over a meal together," Jimin taunts, still holding the phone out of reach. "I'm sure he'd be more than willing to spill the tea."

"Ok fine!" Jungkook pulls back, returning to his original position on the couch. He huffs slightly whilst staring at the ceiling. "You probably wouldn't find him, anyway. He isn't in the theatre department."

Jimin leans up slightly, sorting out his hair that Jungkook had somehow managed to destroy. He didn't expect him to give up so easily. "Is he a dancer then? Do I know him?" Jimin gasps slightly. "Is it Hoseok?"

Jungkook snorts. "No, you fucking idiot." He picks up his phone again. "He majors in music."

Jimin leans closer. "Then how did you get to know him? How did you even get involved in the theatre production in the first place?"

"You're so annoying," he sighs, looking back at Jimin. "I met him during athletics class. He came in asking if anyone could help move the set for the production over the next few weeks, and I just… signed up for it."

Jimin smiles. "So whats his name?"

"You don't need to know that."

Jimin whines and huffs, leaning his head back on Jungkook's shoulder.

"Don't bother. I won't tell you anything else," Jungkook deadpans, opening up a game on his phone to play.

"Please?"

"No way."

Jimin hits Jungkook with a pillow. He grabs his phone and gets up off the couch to head to his room. Jimin knew that was all he was going to get from Jungkook today. He was a real private son of a bitch about these things. Jimin's amazed he could even get that much out of him. He has Kim Seokjin to thank for that.

Kim Seokjin. A name that needs to be deleted from his mind. He will not allow himself to ever embarrass himself like he did today ever again. From tomorrow onwards, he will be a new man. The new and improved Park Jimin.

He enters his room and looks down at his phone. Shit, he forgot he dialled Hoseok's number. He quickly raised the phone to his ear.

"Hoseok?"

He heard a shuffling around before the voice of his cheery friend. "Jimin? Did you butt dial me?"

"Um, yeah," Jimin lied. "Why didn't you hang up?"

"I heard you and Jungkook bickering. It sounded funny so I listened in," Hoseok laughs. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"Fucking creep," Jimin snickers. "I'm hanging up. And blocking your number."

"Don't you dare-"

Too late, he thinks. He hung up on Hoseok, immediately followed by a number of fake angry texts from the man.

He throws the phone onto his bed, and sits by his desk. Opening his laptop, he sees new emails from his chemistry and dance professors, since he is a double major in both. He reads an email reminds him to send in his paper. Damn, he almost forgot.

He quickly opens up the word document and proof reads it again, making sure there isn't any grammar mistakes or sentences that don't make sense. He has always been good at organising his time for studying and socialising, and always handed in his essays on time, even with two majors. Jungkook is constantly asking him how he manages to do it, but Jimin doesn't have an answer. He is a good student, unlike some people. 

All he has to do is add his name at the end and then he is finished. He quickly types each letter out, proud of how the essay turned out. He enjoys chemistry. He doesn't find is stressful like most people. He presses send, making yet another teacher happy.

Jimin smiles at his piece, then goes to close the document.

Okay then, what's your name, dancer boy?

Jimin freezes. He thinks back to that moment. Seokjin sat in front of him, a look of curiosity and wonder in his eyes as he asks him for his name. It was unreal. Such a clash of worlds. Had anyone ever wanted to know his name before? Seokjin was a mystery to him. Someone Jimin viewed as untouchable. Like a character from a movie. He was to observe him from a distance. Seokjin was the actor on the stage, and Jimin was purely a figure in the audience, only meant to sit and watch, not to disrupt the performance. He felt out of place today, and somehow outside of a comfort zone he never realised he had. 

But Jimin knew that was over. That moment of words clashing, would return to where they were. And so would Jimin and Seokjin. Both back to strangers.

Chapter Text

There were many advantages to practicing with Hoseok.

"Jimin, you did the second step wrong. You need to put your foot in this position to get the right balance, then push yourself up off the ground, okay?"

1. He was a good teacher.

"Is it in the right place here?" Jimin moved his foot to the position Hoseok directed, towards his left.

"I think so. Give it a try."

Jimin repeated the step he was previously unsuccessful with, and was able to push himself up to the height Hoseok had demonstrated to him earlier. 

"You got it!" Hoseok praised him, giving him a high five.

Even though Hoseok was only one year older than Jimin, he had a lot of experience that Jimin wanted to learn from him. Hoseok had joined a street dance group when he was young, which was far different from the type of practice Jimin had grown up with. He liked to learn other peoples styles and where their strengths and weaknesses lie. Hoseok has a great fluidity in his dancing. Every move connected and looked like it was performed with ease, but Jimin knew that it was very complicated and took years to master. He really looked up to Hoseok. 

Not that he would ever admit that to him. Hoseok would bring it up at every possible chance he could get if he knew.

"You're a quick learner, you know?" Hoseok said, clapping his hands together.

Jimin shrugs. "I would've messed it up if it weren't for you."

Hoseok scoffs loudly. "You don't give yourself enough credit. I know for a fact you would've figured it out yourself. Or perhaps made it even better."

2. He is incredibly encouraging and patient.

Jimin continues to follow Hoseok's instructions on a new choreography he's working on, paying attention to every small detail. He didn't want to mess the whole thing up and make Hoseok's hard work go to waste. Troye Sivans Youth played on repeat through the hours, as both boys danced to the song endlessly. It was very different to Hoseok's usual style, and was a little more simple than the typical choreography he came up with regularly, but it still had an element of difficulty. Jimin knew this was a piece of cake for his friend, who yet again, seemed to have no trouble with any of the steps.

Jimin lost his focus during the chorus, and tripped over his own feet.

"Jimin! Are you okay?" Hoseok stopped the music and ran towards him.

A dancers whole career depends on the condition of their body. Any small injuries could impact that greatly.

"I'm okay, hyung. Just a small slip," Jimin half smiled. 

Hoseok sighed. "Well, you certainly slipped with style. I've never seen anything so dramatic!"

Jimin burst out laughing at Hoseok's expression, bringing his knees up to his chest.

3. Hoseok could always lighten the mood.

"Do you want to take a break? Let's catch our breath a little," Hoseok patted him on the shoulder and handed him a water bottle.

Jimin thanked him, and immediately gulped the cool liquid down his throat. He's glad Hoseok decided to give them a break, feeling a little light headed and delirious. They had been practicing non stop. Sometimes Jimin could take this kind of extreme training, but today he was tired and sore and had pushed himself a little too hard the day before, and he was paying the price for it now. He squeezed the last drop out of the water bottle, feeling better now that he was hydrated.

He glanced at Hoseok, who was stood in the middle of the studio, doing a few simple moves to keep him occupied. It was obvious that Hoseok wasn't tired yet, and only suggested a break so that Jimin could catch up. His stamina was beyond any other dancer that Jimin had encountered before.

Jimin clutched the bottle tightly, feeling a string of jealousy rise in him.

There were disadvantages to practicing with Hoseok as well.

1. Jimin always felt inferior around him.

He never blamed Hoseok for this. In fact, Hoseok is always trying his best to praise Jimin. He never showed off or did anything to directly push Jimin's confidence down. it was just Jimin's own insecurities and thoughts that made him think and feel the way he does.

Hoseok was a natural born dancer. Jimin wasn't.

Hoseok could dance with such ease and talent. Jimin had to work hard to get where he was today.

There was such a clear difference between the two. Jimin wasn't sure if Hoseok was blind to it, or just refused to acknowledge it because he was a kind person, but he never mentioned anything about their clear difference in experience.

Either way, Jimin feared he would never catch up. That he'd always be stuck where he is now, forever putting his blood sweat and tears into his training, and never have the work pay off in the end. Maybe that was just his destiny.

"Hey, Jimin?"

His thoughts are interrupted by Hoseok's voice. He looks up at the man who was now crouching next to him.

Hoseok bits his lip, then looks away. He sits down properly opposite Jimin. "I forgot to mention earlier, but, um, someone was looking for you yesterday." He taps his fingers on the ground to a beat.

Jimin frowns slightly at Hoseok's expression. "For me? Who was it?" Jimin can't imagine anyone looking for him, unless it was an emergency. Jimin had a few friends around campus, but they didn't talk with him much. He always suspected they were only friends with him because of Jungkook, who was much more popular and a certified party animal these days. None of them really wanted to interact with Jimin.

"Kim Seokjin."

Jimin suddenly feels faint again, the wind completely knocked out of his lungs. Hoseok could've told him that literally anyone else was looking for him, and he would've been less surprised. But Kim Seokjin? He didn't see that one coming.

It had been almost two weeks since that tragically embarrassing day that Jimin had buried in his memory. He refused to think about Seokjin once during the time that had passed. Whenever his mind had occasionally drifted off to thinking about Seokjin, he stopped himself immediately.

"I was training in the haunted studio, right? You know, after you made me go back, and then after lunch, Kim Seokjin walks in asking for you," Hoseok explains, his tone expressive. "I told him you weren't here and probably didn't want to be disturbed during your training, but he said it was important."

Did Jimin leave something valuable behind that day? He retraces his memory, every little detail coming to mind. He remembers coming up with an excuse to leave early to get away from the studio, and far far away from Seokjin. He remembers packing up in a hurry. He also remembered picking up everything he came with. So why was Seokjin looking for him? 

"Also, uh… I gave him your number."

Jimin was about to turn all hulk on Hoseok any minute now.

"You did what?!" He leaps up onto his feet, feeling a similar shiver in his spine he had two weeks ago. "Why would you do that?"

"Chill out, okay? I thought you two were friends!" Hoseok held his hands up in defence.

"And what what made you think that? When have you ever seen me and Kim Seokjin interact before?" He steps back, running a hand through his blonde hair.

Hoseok slowly stood up as well, rubbing the sweat from his hands onto his shorts. "I heard that conversation you had with Jungkook on the phone a few weeks ago. You said that you were friends with Kim Seokjin, remember?"

Jimin feels like his heart just fell out his ass. God, he's so stupid. He knew he shouldn't have called Hoseok that night. Hell, he shouldn't have even mentioned Seokjin's name in the first place.

"You don't need to freak out, I'm sure he just needs to talk to you about something," Hoseok says, his voice low and soothing. He could sense Jimin's panic. It was written all over his face.

Hoseok wasn't helping him cool off or calm down. He was making it worse. Jimin had endless thoughts running through his head about why Seokjin wanted to speak to him. Did he want me to give him the song piece I was using? Was he curious about a certain dance move and wanted to learn it? Did he perhaps want to tell me to my face that he was lying about all the nice things and say that everything he saw that day was total trash and that I should just give up now? His mind jumped to all the worse-case-scenarios, even though a part of him knew he was being ridiculous.

He heard his phone vibrating next to the speaker on the floor. His heart stopped.

Both men stared at the phone, then at each other.

Then they both lunged.

Hoseok obviously snatched it first, being slightly taller and faster than the younger male, and held it out of reach.

"Give it back, asshole! That's my phone!" Jimin tried grabbing it, but Hoseok was too quick.

"It's from an unknown number, I wonder who it could be?" Hoseok teased, moving the phone around quickly so Jimin couldn't grab it.

He cursed his parents for not passing on genes that would make him tall.

"Give me my fucking phone back!" Jimin stretched his arm out as far as he could, but once again, Hoseok outranked him.

In one quick move, Hoseok pushed Jimin away and pressed answer. "Hello, Jung Hoseok speaking!"

Jimin charged towards him at full speed.

"Sorry, Jimin's a little busy getting his asshole bleached at the moment. May I ask who is calling?" Hoseok blocked Jimin's full speed attack, and held him back with one of his legs. "Oh! Kim Seokjin! How funny! We were just talking about you!"

Jimin's eye twitched, clawing into Hoseok's thigh with his sharp nails.

"Ouch! Not that hard, Jimin. Go gentle on me please-"

Jimin managed to finally grab the phone out of Hoseok devious hands before he could inflict anymore damage on Jimin's already shattered pride, and shakily held it next to his ear. "H-Hello?"

He heard a faint chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Is this Jimin speaking?"

Jimin sent the most threatening glare at Hoseok, who was currently lying on the floor, wheezing with laughter. Jimin drew his finger across his throat whilst staring straight at Hoseok, planning his funeral in his mind.

"Yes, its me." He sighed, voice shaking. "Ignore my soon to be dead friend. He's a dickhead."

"I have plenty of friends who act the exact same. You don't need to worry about it, Jimin. I'm just surprised he said you were getting your asshole bleached instead of pulling out the classic 'doing drugs' card that most prank callers stick too. Your friend is far classier."

Jimin lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding in. He still feels embarrassed, but a little less so after hearing Seokjin's voice. He sounded so casual, like Hoseok hadn't said a whole bunch of humiliating things to completely throw Jimin under the bus with. He couldn't help but sigh with relief.

"I suppose I should explain myself," Seokjin coughed. "I got your number from-"

"Don't worry, um, Hoseok already told me," Jimin interrupted. "So, um, why did you want my number?" He knew he sounded nervous. He hated calling on the phone. Jimin was much more of a texting kind of guy. There he could sound confident and funny, taking as much time as he wanted to reply or think of a response.

"Oh, right! I wanted to speak to you about something really important, but I don't think I can really do it on the phone. Is there any chance you could meet me today? This evening, perhaps?"

Jimin didn't know what to say. His mind went back to the endless list of possibilities he had conjured up just moments ago. Something really important? Was he in trouble? Was Seokjin in trouble? Oh god, did the instructors find the crumbs in the studio from the oreos they ate and wanted to punish them? Or perhaps, it was all a trap from the beginning! Seokjin was set up as a test for Jimin, directly from the instructors, to see if he was breaking any rules in the studio, and he failed the test. He let Seokjin tempt him into eating the oreo. Damn you, Kim Seokjin.

"So? Is that okay with you?" Seokjin continues when he gets no response. "I understand that a dance major like you is incredibly busy, and this is very short notice, but I would really appreciate it if you would meet with me."

And just like that, Jimin reluctantly agrees.

"Great! I'll text you the building I'll be in. See you later!" Seokjin hangs up the phone, leaving Jimin as still as a stone cold statue.

He hears Hoseok approach him. "Sooooooo, what did he want?" He was still giggling, ever so slightly. "Did he ask you on a date?"

Jimin kicks him directly in the nuts as hard as he can. Hoseok hunches over immediately, clutching his now bruised pride and joy, and whines loudly about the pain. Jimin glares at him, not feeling an ounce of pity.

"Why the hell did you do that to me, you motherfucker," Jimin hissed above him, seeing the older man roll around in pain. "You know how nervous talking on the phone makes me. You know I get embarrassed easily. You know how much I hate it."

"I was just playing around," he groaned in response. "You didn't need to kick me that hard. Jesus, I think I need a doctor."

"Stupid, idiotic, treacherous asshole. I'm leaving." Jimin grabs his jacket and water bottle off the ground and gets ready to leave.

"No, wait! I'm sorry!" Hoseok wheezes, but Jimin ignores him. "I only did it because I knew you wouldn't have picked up yourself!"

Jimin stops, and turns his head back to Hoseok.

"Like you said, I know you hate talking on the phone, and get embarrassed easily, blah blah blah. I didn't want you to ignore this opportunity like you ignore everything else just because you're scared," Hoseok explained. "You never take any chances, or push yourself out of your comfort zone. This could be a chance at a new friends outside me and Jungkook! Don't you want that?"

Jimin turns away. "Well consider me officially pushed outside of my comfort zone. Are you happy?" And then he takes off, without listening to anything else Hoseok has to say.

~

Jimin stood anxiously outside the large theatre building, looking at the text Seokjin has sent him earlier.

I'll be in the seesaw theatre all day! Come and see me wheneverz best for you :)

He re-read the message a couple, well, maybe hundred times just to make sure he had the right theatre. Sure enough, there was a big golden plate just outside the building with The Grand Seesaw Theatre written in big black letters. They're pretty hard to miss. It looked like a pretty newly built theatre, considering how fresh all the paintwork was, and there were no indecent pictures or rude words scribbled over the gold plate by some imature jackasses who think drawing dicks over everything is funny. That sounds like something Jungkook would do.

He found the message Seokjin sent him to be quite cute, with the lame misspelling of 'whenever's' and the little smiley face added at the end. Jimin felt even lamer just from how much those two little aspects of the message affected him. Two little peaks into Kim Seokjin's personality.

So far, the only things he knows about him, besides the things he's heard about from students gossiping on campus, are that he likes oreos, he stuffs his cheeks full when he eats, he has long eye lashes and freckles that you can only see when up close, his posture is amazing, he is an amazing actor with a powerful voice that can fill up a whole room, his giggle is slightly squeaky and cute, and he deliberately misspells words in texts and adds smiley faces to the end of his messages.

Oh, and that he's also quite kind.

Such small traits, that give Jimin a glance at what Seokjin is like behind the rumours and gossip and his reputation.

He quickly realises he's overanalysing a small and insignificant gesture, that most young adults and teenagers use daily. It means absolutely nothing, he tells himself.

Once again, he looks up at the theatre. Of course, Seokjin chose the largest one on campus. Sometimes Jimin likes to think the universe is indirectly mocking him.

Jimin has never been fond of large studios or theatres. As a man who is slightly smaller than your average male, he prefers being in a space that is more fit to his own personality and size. Larger theatres just make him feel the same sense of dread that you feel whenever you perform on stage or have to give a presentation out in front of your whole class. It gives him the idea of being watched and torn to pieces on the spot by peoples opinions and judgements of his performance. He could take criticism anywhere else in his life, but this was something Jimin cared about far beyond any of his other interests. If someone so much as gives his hard work a disapproving look, it'll break him.

He slowly entered the fearful building, counting each step as a way of keeping calm. He had tried his best to distract his mind from asking himself why the hell was he here to keep those ridiculous possibilities far away from his thoughts and to stop himself from turning around right then and there and bolting it out the door, back to the warmth and safeness of his dorm, but every step further in, it seemed more and more tempting. He could text Seokjin saying he has the flu and didn't want to spread it. Or he could tell him Hoseok had a serious injury and needed to be rushed to hospital. 

That one didn't seem entirely too far from the truth, considering he did almost castrate Hoseok in the studio earlier. I'm sure Hoseok would be more than willing to be his alibi.

Jimin doesn't mean to let his thoughts get the better of him. He really doesn't. He just finds himself slowly start to back away once he is far enough in to the theatre, and sees how truly large it is from the inside.

"Where the hell has Taehyung gone?! When I get my hands on him I'll kill him."

Suddenly, a frantic man starts storming down one of the aisle of seats, seemingly looking for something. He eventually gets to the end of the aisle, right in front of where Jimin is standing. Jimin stands eyes to eye with him, noticing their equal height instantly. 

He stops walking with such determination, and glances at Jimin. "Can I help you?"

Jimin hunches his shoulders. "Um, I'm looking for Kim Seokjin."

He frowns at Jimin, looking pretty annoyed it him. Jimin isn't sure if it's just his face or if Jimin is bothering him somehow.

The guy readjusts his beanie and scratches his nose. Sighing loudly, he says, "Has Seokjin promised you a part in the show? How many kids am I gonna have to turn down at the door this week, that imbecile…"

Jimin suppresses a shudder at this guys worn out expression. "No! I promise he hasn't. He asked me to meet him here. Um, he said he wanted to talk to me about something important?"

The frowny man moves his hand away from his face to look at Jimin again. This guy has had a rough day from the looks of things. Jimin wondered how often Seokjin was the cause of this guys suffering. 

"I have a text from him if you want to see," Jimin quickly fumbled into his pocket for the proof lying on his phone, but the guy shakes his head to stop him.

"Don't bother. Just follow me, I'll take you backstage. He'll be lounging around there, probably."

He starts heading back up the aisle towards the daunting stage, and Jimin quickly trails behind. The theatre stage is placed directly in the middle, with the seats surrounding the area. Jimin has only ever been in classic setting theatres. This one looked very modern and contemporary. He already felt anxious being on a stage having to face people head on. He couldn't imagine having to perform in front of an audience surrounding him completely, absolutely no where for him to hide.

He showed him to the backstage area which was through a large door, where Jimin was suddenly faced with people all over the place, chatting and stretching and rehearsing. He could only assume they were all actors. Jimin clutched his coat tightly, looking around at all the people he had spent hours complaining about to the likes of Jungkook and Hoseok.

Jimin knew there was an upcoming show in the works here, which had been the talk of the college for the past few weeks. There were auditions sheets just about everywhere, and all the theatre majors were hoping for the chance to catch a large role, presumedly alongside Seokjin on stage.

He didn't realise the huge scale of this show, if this many people were getting involved.

"Taehyung! There you are you little shit, you fucking broke one of the buttons on my stage amplifier." He turns to Jimin quickly. "Sorry, I've got to deal with this scum bag real quick. You should find Seokjin around here somewhere."

He brushes Jimin off and heads in the direction of a very scared looking man, leaving him all alone in a crowd of strangers. 

Jimin feels his muscles begin to tense. The hairs on his arms stand on their ends. Every nerve in his body is telling him to get the hell out of there. He cannot stand large crowds. People surrounding him, making him feel so small and puny. A series of deep, shaky breaths escape his lips, forcing him to calm down.

He needs to get out of here. Now.

Raising his head, he can't even tell which way he came from anymore. He just starts walking blindly in a direction that his feet are forcing him to go. He can already feel people staring at him, he is just waiting for the whispers, then the giggles to come next. He knows he stands out. He knows he is drawing attention, but he can't stop it.

A hand is placed on his shoulder, gently. "Are you okay there?"

Jimin turns quickly to the source of the hand, nearly punching the poor guy in the face.

"Woah! Be careful," He steps out of the way before Jimin embarrasses himself even more. "Watch where you throw your arms."

The person Jimin nearly decapitated is much taller than him, with silver hair and a smile that is warm and caring. He holds his arm out again to steady Jimin, who looked ready to pass out. "You don't look so good, man. Come with me, I'll take you somewhere less crowded."

He directed Jimin towards a door with a poorly written sign that said prop room. Once inside, Jimin collapsed on a stall, letting himself breathe properly for the first time since he entered the building. He quickly checked his watch, realising he had only been inside the building for six minutes. It felt like hours he was wondering through that horrifying crowd.

"Do you need some water? Or a bucket? You look like you're gonna barf," He states, patting Jimin's back with ease.

"No… I'm okay. I just… don't do crowds." Jimin mumbled, his muscles relaxing ever so slightly.

The silver haired man smiles again, but this time its genuine, amused and affectionate. "I'm Kim Namjoon, the director. I think you might have stumbled into the wrong place."

"Actually, I'm looking for Seokjin. He asked me to meet him here," Jimin explains. "A-And my names Park Jimin."

Namjoon gives him a skeptical look, but nods. "I'm not sure where he is at the moment, but I'll go look for him. Are you going to be okay in here?"

Jimin nods back. "I'd rather be in here than out there."

Letting out an amused noise, Namjoon steps back towards the door. "I'll be back soon. I'm sure he'll be around here somewhere."

And then he was gone, and Jimin was alone again. Jimin is too scared to go out there and search for Seokjin himself, and too scared to leave this room without knowing what the man has to say to him. He always has to depend on someone else to help him. If Jungkook or Hoseok were here, he'd feel much more comfortable, but he was alone. He looks down at his small, shaking hands, and grips the together tightly. They were cold, sweaty and weak. God, he was so pathetic. Jimin looks at his phone one more time, reading the short, meaningless message once more, and asks himself yet again, why he was even here to begin with?

Was Seokjin's request worth this much stress? Definitely not. But he still went to the trouble of coming anyway. 

Jimin wondered what Seokjin would think of him stressing over a simple message, a crowd of strangers, and an almost panic attack. He would take one look at his pitiful self and start laughing. Jimin was so sure of it, he could even picture it, and it hurt.

He heard the dulled voices of all the people outside start to get a little louder. One voice in particular stood out. The same loud, compelling voice that he had heard only weeks ago. He would never forget a voice like that.

He's here.

It wasn't long before the door swung open and two people entered the room, bursting Jimin's thought bubble.

"Jesus, are you okay Jimin?"

Jimin looked up and saw the man he had been thinking about non stop for the past few hours.

Seokjin was stood in the doorway, a concerned expression evident on his face. His hair was messy over his eyes, just like the last time they had spoke face to face. But Jimin could still see a certain look in his eyes, filled with worry.

He walks closer to Jimin and leans down so they are at eye level. "If you weren't feeling well you could've just texted me. I would've understood why you couldn't make it. I don't want you forcing yourself."

Jimin starred back into Seokjin's eyes, still searching for answers in his mind. Why is he here? 

"That's such a lie, hyung. You know you would be sulking for the rest of the day if he didn't show."

Both Jimin and Seokjin's attention moved onto Namjoon, who was smirking back at them.

"Why are you still here? Go and do whatever a director does, okay?" Jin shoots back, waving his arms to dismiss him. "Shoo!"

Namjoon sighs, but complies by closing the door behind him.

"God, he really thinks he knows everything about me. Stupid Namjoon," Seokjin spits, pouting slightly. "I shouldn't have let him apply for the role of director. Next time he can be the stage cleaner. That'll show him."

Jimin watches Seokjin's lips form into a pout. he had never noticed how plump they were before. The pout only accentuated the plumpness.

Turning his attention back to Jimin, Seokjin stands up straight. "You haven't said anything. I'm going to take that as a sign that you're not feeling okay."

Jimin must've been easy to read. Usually he considers himself to be rather skilled at hiding his feelings, but the people close to him have often had no trouble in the past identifying his emotions. What Jimin doesn't understand is how Seokjin, a complete stranger, was able to see through him so quickly. It was the same as the day they met in that cursed studio, Seokjin reading Jimin like a script.

Jimin lowered his gaze and shifts in his seat. "I'll be fine. It's not a big deal." He notices the look on Seokjin's face. He isn't convinced at all. "You wanted to talk to me about something important?"

Seokjin frowns, but decides to not pester. He grabs a stool nearby and sits himself down in front of Jimin, looking down at him slightly. He slaps his hands onto his thighs. "When was the last time you performed on stage?"

Jimin watches the smile slowly appear on the taller mans face. Something about it scares and comforts him at the same time. "Not since I was twelve. I don't like large audiences." He only limits a certain amount of people to watch him at one time. Lots of his friends and teachers have always told him he could achieve so much more if he put himself out there and did actual stage performances, but he had always refused. He won't ever put himself through that kind of torment again.

"Okay…" Seokjin sighs, pausing momentarily. "How about, the last stage show you watched? Anything inspirational?"

Jimin thinks back to the last time he had willingly made himself attend a stage show. Clear and vivid pictures flashed through his mind. The endless colours and sounds rising to the surface of his memory. "I think, there was a play… two years ago?" He briefly closed his eyes, seeing it in front of him.

"Yeah? What was it?"

"I saw it here, on campus. It was before I was a student." Jimin had a close senior in the cast who made him promise to go watch him perform. As much as Jimin wanted to just ditch it and apologise later, he made a promise, and he never broke a promise. "Ah, I cant remember it's name. I just remember one character had, like, multiple personalities or something. It was pretty bizarre."

Seokjin seemed interested. "Oh? Did you enjoy it?"

"Surprisingly, yes." Jimin wasn't sure where this was going. "I only really remember that one character, though."

He remembers getting ready to leave the auditorium. The show was only half an hour in but Jimin was feeling anxious, being seated in between two very snobby looking elderly women who looked like they spent their evenings at art galleries and making fun of poor people. This was definitely not his crowd. But when he had just about seen enough, the entire show changed. It went from this incredibly dull and predictable love story to a psychological tragedy in a few seconds. The main character, who was madly in love with his soon to be spouse, ended up murdering her in cold blood. He remembers the way he cradled the actresses head, staring at the blood scattered across her body and his hands, fingers gently caressing her cheeks. Jimin took notice of all the simple details of the character, and his unique expression.

Something about it resonated in him. How well the man delivered the performance, how ever single movement and glance and pause brought this character to life.

"That's good to hear."

Jimin reopens his eyes, seeing the same glint in Seokjin's eye as the other day, when he had told him his name for the first time. He stares down at his small hands, tapping his nails. Thats when Jimin first takes note of Seokjin's hands, place delicately on his lap. He remembers how warm they felt, when he enclosed it in Jimin's own hand. 

"Why do you ask?" Jimin ponders.

Seokjin blinks a few times. "I'm just curious."

He was a strange person, Jimin thought. Everything he says and does is unpredictable, making Jimin unsure of what to say or how to act around him.

"Do you only choreograph for yourself?" Seokjin moves the hands that Jimin had not so subtlety been staring at and crosses them across his chest.

Jimin wasn't convinced Seokjin had gone out of his way to invite him here, simply to question him on his performing experience and theatre knowledge. There was clearly something he was testing Jimin on.

"Yes. I've never choreographed for someone else before." Not that anyone would ever want it, he nearly added. "I've never really been presented the opportunity."

Seokjin straightens. "Is that so?"

Jimin shrugs.

"Alright then, its settled. You will choreograph all the pieces for our upcoming play."

Jimin froze. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, staring at each other.

He couldn't be serious. This was a joke. There's no way someone like Seokjin would ask him to be the fucking choreographer for his show. These plays weren't some silly school project that only parents would come and see. The plays at this college were prestigious. Their reputation had them places on the same level as various majorly successful theatre musicals all across the country. People actually travelled from far away to come and see them. And despite all this, Seokjin had just asked the most unsuccessful and untalented dancer at this college to take part and be the choreographer? 

Jimin immediately stood up. "Is this a fucking joke?"

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, looking confused. "I'm sorry?"

"Do you even realise who you fucking are?! You're Kim mother fucking Seokjin. President of the theatre association. Pride and joy of the campus. Everyones favourite golden boy. Why the hell would someone like you ever ask someone like me to take part in this? That's like asking a fucking art novice to paint like Picasso." Jimin runs his hand through his hair. "If you wanted to make fun of me, you could've just said something in the dance studio that day. It would've taken you less effort. You didn't need to go to these lengths for a sick joke."

"And what if this was a joke? How would you react?" Seokjin asks, standing up and matching Jimin's stance. He steps a little closer to him, the same stoic expression on his face. "Would you punch me? Spit in my face? Maybe even try and ruin the set or the auditorium, just to spite me. I wouldn't blame you."

Jimin frowns slightly. What is he trying to achieve? "I would never do something like that. I'm not an asshole, like you."

Seokjin smirks. "Such a gentleman." The sarcasm and smugness dripped from his voice.

Jimin doesn't have time for this. He really came all this way for nothing. There was literally no point to all his worrying and panicking, thinking that Seokjin could possibly be a good person and have something actually important to say to Jimin. At the end of the day, he was just like everyone said he was.

He starts to head towards the door, but Seokjin quickly grabs his arm, halting him in his steps.

"You didn't let me finish," Seokjin says, rolling his eyes. "You have a short temper. I'm quite surprised, you know."

Jimin stares at Seokjin, scowling slightly but letting him continue. "So you do have some fire in you. I like that. No, actually, I'm glad. I don't get on well with boring people. I need people around me who can speak their mind, and aren't afraid of upsetting me. There are too many of those extras in my life. I'm only interested in the protagonists."

Did Seokjin think Jimin was boring before? Not that it mattered to Jimin anymore. He couldn't care less.

"I'm interested as to why you don't think I'm being serious." Seokjin tilts his chin up, staring directly down at Jimin.

Jimin frowns at him, feeling a little uncomfortable under his gaze. "Because the whole idea of it is a joke."

"Why would I joke about this?" Seokjin questions. "I am an actor. This is my chosen career choice. I will only ever choose whats best for me and what will benefit my future. Why would I ever give you such an important role, only to ruin my own image?"

Jimin raises both brows skeptically.

"I have big plans for this show. There are lots of agents showing interest and the expectations are rising higher and higher each day. There is a lot resting on my shoulders for this show. More than any other show I've been in. My entire reputation could change depending on the success of this production. And not just mine. There are plenty of other actors, actresses, stage crew, lighting crew, sound assistants, costume designers, make up artists, directors, and many others, who have their future pinned on this as well."

Jimin swallows and looks away.

"It could be a part of your future too, if you want."

He quickly looks back. There was sincerity on his face like before. He was making direct eye contact with him. There was no wavering in his voice. No slight snicker or smirk that would suggest he was just messing around. Everything sounded so.. real. He keeps looking at Seokjin, eyes searching for something, anything. But he finds nothing.

"Why me? There are so many talented dancers at this college, who far outshine me. My skills are so limited, and I make so many mistakes, you even said so yourself." He glances down. "If you were truly trying to make this show meet the expectations placed, you would be asking some other dancer."

It made no sense to Jimin. It had to be bullshit. He has never stood out next to his peers, always in the background, never to be seen. And he was fine with that. It meant he never had to deal with the pressures of being the best, and no one would ever have any high expectations for him, only to be disappointed in the end. He accepted a long time ago that he would always stand at the back of the crowd, hidden in plain sight. Why would someone like him, with his lack of abilities and no real experience, ever get offered such a high position, from someone like Kim Seokjin?

"Have you never really seen yourself dance? The first time I saw you in that studio you blew me away."

Jimin's throat tightens, unsure how to respond. No one had ever reacted to his dancing that way before. Jungkook and Hoseok and many others had always been positive, using kind words and encouragement, but Jimin always felt as though those words felt forced. 

But Seokjin's eyes shined brightly, and his smile looked so natural, and his words clear and honest; like there was no doubt about the way he felt. Seokjin had no reason to lie to Jimin and pretend that he had talent, like Hoseok and Jungkook. There were no warning signs, no bells ringing in his head, telling him it was all just a practical joke. Jimin knew that in his heart, he trusted Seokjin's words. He wondered the last time someone had looked at him the same, with those bright eyes that said a million words.

"I had never intended to watch you. I was practicing a piece from hamlet to improve my accent and pronunciation. I was far more concerned about my own worries. But you caught my eye instantly. And when I started watching you, I just couldn't stop." He smiles, eyes crinkling in the corners. "I meant what I said that day. You aren't the most refined dancer. You let your nervous and your thoughts and feelings get the better of you, ultimately impacting your performance. You move sloppy when under practiced and it takes time for you to learn and improve the steps."

The hand still placed on Jimin's arm, tightened slightly. "But that's what I'm looking for. You're imperfect, rough at the edges, slightly unrehearsed and with little confidence." He leans back down to Jimin's height. "That's what this show needs. A new insight. A new take. Something fresh. I'm tired of seeing lifeless dancers on the stage. They have no passion, no love for the art, unlike you. I can see how much you love to dance. It shows in the way you move. Your imperfect self is perfect for my show."

Jimin knows Seokjin has hit the nail on the head. He was able to gather all that about Jimin, from only two meetings. He summed up Jimin so perfectly, looking straight through him and laying all his insecurities and things he wanted so badly to change about himself, right in front of him. So why did it not hurt hearing Seokjin relaying them back to him? He described them as things to be proud of, things that he admired. Seokjin made him feel like he should be proud of them as well.

"Maybe I'm being a little too upfront," Seokjin lets his hand fall from Jimin's arm. "Of course, if you aren't comfortable doing all this, I don't want to force you or make you feel pressured. I understand dance majors already have a lot on their plate as it is, and this is a big commitment. I just wanted you to know how much this could do for you, and how much recognition you will gain."

Jimin doesn't like how the warmth from Seokjin's hand on his arm was quickly disappearing. "I… I don't really know what to say."

"Tell me you'll consider it. Please? I don't need an answer right now, and I will understand if you decide not to join us, but I want you to know that the option is here, and we would be honoured to work with you."

Jimin has always been bad at saying no, despite always wanting to say it so badly. But this time, something in the back of his head was screaming at him, telling him to say yes!! yes!! yes!! He was scared, uncomfortable, unprepared, and felt so unworthy of this offer. It all frightened him and it was happening so fast.

He looked at Seokjin one last time, and that one look made up his mind for him.

"Okay. I'll think about it."

Chapter Text

"Right over here is our quick-changing room. Not particularly fancy but when you need to squeeze yourself into a costume in less than forty seconds before returning on stage you find yourself caring very little about the interior in those moments."

Jimin let Seokjin show him around the theatre, and it's many rooms with their endless purposes. He doesn't even need to ask many questions, with the vast knowledge Seokjin is throwing at him at an impressive pace. He's satisfied just listening to Seokjin talk about something he deeply loves.

Jimin enjoys the way Seokjin's voice completely changes when talking about the the theatre. It's yet another side of him that Jimin hadn't seen before. His eyes light up and his cheeks turn a very light shade of pink, while he confidently tells him what the purpose of each light above them is. It's clear how much he loves theatre, judging from the passion in his voice. Jimin isn't even that interested in finding out why red lighting changes the structure of your face on stage, or why it's important to have dramatic make up on a larger stage because the audience won't be able to see your facial facials clearly if you are barefaced or wearing minimal make up, or whatever it was Seokjin was trying to explain to him. But he wouldn't dare stop Seokjin when he's clearly enjoying himself.

Too many times he has witnessed people shame others for being passionate about something. He refuses to be one of them.

"Wait," Seokjin says, halting in front of what Jimin guessed was another dressing room. "I'm not taking up your time by showing you around, right? We can always do this another time."

Jimin shakes his head and hums slightly. "Don't worry about it. I like being here with you."

Jimin felt his own cheeks heat up quickly. Him and his stupid mouth. He needs to start thinking before speaking. This is exactly why he always gets himself into embarrassing situations.

But Seokjin smiled deeply, making Jimin rethink his regretful thoughts. "That's good. I was beginning to think I was scaring you off. You were so quiet." He almost sounded nervous.

Jimin watched in amusement, the older mans almost shy like change in attitude. He really changes from fear-me-or-I-will-steal-your-first-born boy, to confident charming golden boy, to cute and childish actor boy.

"Hey, hyung! Where do you want me to move the sound box thingy?"

Jimin stopped smiling. He knew that bratty, annoying voice.

"Just put it in the prop room for now. I don't want Taehyung getting his filthy hands on it again."

Jimin glances behind Seokjin, seeing his roommate and best friend of two years, holding a large amplifier and walking in the opposite direction.

Jungkook. God fucking dammit.

He would definitely question Jimin why he was here. How would he explain all this? He knew that an endless amount of teasing would only come from Jimin telling him the truth, and he would see straight through any pathetic lie Jimin could come up with on the spot.

Jungkook could easily turn his head right now and spot him standing with Seokjin. So he did the one thing his panicking mind told him to do.

He grabbed Seokjin's hand and pulled them both into the dressing room.

He heard a sound of surprise leave Seokjin's lips, as Jimin peered through the crack in the door. He could just about make out Jungkook's figure through the small crack. He didn't seem to have noticed the two males jumping into the dressing room together. That was fucking close.

Why, of all the college shows for Jungkook to have been helping out on, did it have to be this one?

"Uh, Jimin?"

Jimin snapped his head to Seokjin, who was still holding his hand.

His face burned with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry!" Jimin squeaked, quickly pulling his hand out of Seokjin's. "I panicked and kinda just did the most logical thing my brain suggested."

Seokjin laughs, eyes crinkling and teeth showing. "What was that all for? You look like you saw a ghost."

He saw a large muscly brat instead, with a smug grin and a wit that Jimin could never match. 

Much scarier.

"Just someone I don't want seeing me here," he explains.

Seokjin scoffs lightly, nudging his shoulder. "If you wanted to drag me into an empty dressing room, you should've just said so."

Oh no. Seokjin had a teasing streak similar to Jungkook. He just keeps learning more and more about him the more time he spends with him. 

Jimin chuckles, trying to cool his cheeks down. "Next time I'll be sure to warn you, Seokjin hyung."

"Jin hyung."

Jimin blinks. "Hmm?"

"It's Jin hyung. I want you to call me that."

Well so much for cooling down his cheeks. Were they already close enough for nick names? Seokjin didn't strike him as the type to like cute names like that, but then again, there was a lot about Seokjin that surprised him.

"Okay, Jin hyung." Jimin made sure to emphasise each syllable. The name feeling so natural to him. It suited Seokjin perfectly.

Seokjin looks a little taken back, not expecting Jimin to have said it back so quickly. He replaces that expression with a sly smile. "No problem, Jiminie."

Cue Jimin's loud groan.

He laughed a little whilst scrunching up his eyes from the cringe. That sounded like something he would've been called as a kid.

"I hate nick names for myself. Just call me Jimin."

Seokjin hums. "Nope. I'm going to call you as many gross nicknames as I want."

Jimin's lips quirk as he raises an eyebrow. There's that childish side of his hyung again. Its very amusing to him. Just how much unpredictability was there to this man? Would he ever stop surprising him?

The door suddenly slammed open, making both males jump back from the shock. 

Jungkook stood in the doorway, looking equally surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asks suspiciously, crossing his arms over his chest. "Are you following me?"

"Why… why would I follow you?" Jimin responds, still recovering from the sudden scare.

A frown forms on the younger face. "Never mind. Was I interrupting something in here? I heard some strange sounds from out here," Jungkook's eyes narrowed on Seokjin. "You know, since you told me how well acquainted you were with Kim Seokjin that one time."

Was it Jungkook's life mission to embarrass him at every opportunity? Jimin completely forgot he lied to him about being close friends with Seokjin. He never thought Jungkook would've held onto that piece of information. God, he knew he never should've mentioned him.

"So, tell me, what were you up to in here before I came in?" Jungkook smirked, coldly. "What friendly activity did I interrupt?"

This must've been pay back for Jimin teasing Jungkook on his mystery crush. Jimin wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He knew that no matter what he said to Jungkook, he would still think that he and Seokjin were getting freaky in the closet. 

Well, technically the changing room, but that wasn't the point.

And he also knew that Seokjin was probably thinking that Jimin had told Jungkook that they were together together. He regrets not having been standing closer to the door and letting it smack into his face, hopefully ending his life then and there.

He glances at Seokjin who is staring at Jungkook, remaining quiet. his expression is unreadable, and that scared Jimin.

Jungkook is still looking at Jimin, practically taunting him. In moments like these, he found Jungkook to be an incredibly cruel person. He didn't know when to stop and kept pushing jokes until they no longer were funny. They just ended up hurting. And the majority of the time, he was the one on the receiving end of these jokes. They wore him out, and if Jimin had to be completely honest, he wasn't sure how much longer he could take this kind of attitude from Jungkook until he would inevitably snap.

"Is it any of your business what me and Jimin were up to?"

Jungkook and Jimin shift their attention to Seokjin, his voice sharp and direct, and his expression still a mystery.

Jungkook started to properly pay attention to Seokjin now, having almost been ignoring him only moments before. He had a problem towards addressing his elders and showing respect, and had gotten into trouble about it before. Of course, Jimin was the one to save his ass each and every time.

"I'm just curious. Jimin is my best friend, and also my roommate," Jungkook says, putting such emphasis on my.

Seokjin tilts his head. "Does that mean you are entitled to know every detail about Jimin's life?"

"Am I not allowed to ask him? Is that such a crime?"

"You shouldn't have to ask. If Jimin has something to share, he will share it himself."

Jungkook scoffs. "You don't know anything about him."

Jimin lets out a sigh. Neither of them were going to back down first. "Jungkook, please."

He ignores Jimin. "I don't like the way your friend is talking to me."

"Do my words offend you in some way? Would it offend you even more if me and Jimin were doing exactly what you are insinuating?" Seokjin challenges.

"I'm just looking out for him."

"Nothing about the tone of your voice or choice of words are making you sound like a caring friend. You sound possessive, spiteful, and act as if your are deliberately trying to hurt Jimin."

Jungkook sneers at him. "You've known him for what, five seconds? Stop acting like you know whats best for Jimin, or acting like you care about him the way I do." Jungkook's fists start clenching and unclenching. "Let's go, Jimin."

Jimin's brain is processing at lightning speed, trying to make sense of everything. "But I'm-"

"Let him do what he wants. He is his own person."

"You honesty believe Jimin would rather stay here with you than go with me?"

Seokjin frowns. "You have a strange sense of entitlement."

"Would you both shut up?!"

Jimin manages to silence them both. He almost felt out of breath from witnessing that argument. He could already sense a headache rising. God, he needs a drink after this.

One moment, he was he was laughing and joking - dare he say flirting - with Seokjin, quite light heartedly, and the next thing he knows these two meat heads are having a full blown argument. Jimin didn't have the patience to let this go on for longer than necessary. 

"What the hell is wrong with you both? Are you just picking a fight for the sake of it? Honestly, I'm so over this," Jimin runs his hand through hair for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. "Seeing you two acting like this is making me lose brain cells. I'm out of here."

Jimin pushes himself past Jungkook and into the main theatre, not daring to look back at either of them.

"Wait up!" Jungkook follows after him, making sure to catch up. "Are you going back to the apartment? I'll join you."

"No!" Jimin stops him, holding out his hand. "I don't want to see you right now. You've pissed me off, and not in a funny kind of way. Please just leave me alone."

Jungkook stops following him, his face full of regret, but Jimin doesn't have time to worry about his feelings right now. He doesn't really care either.

He eventually get's back to his apartment and instantly makes his way to his room, slamming the door shut after him and sliding his back down the wood until he was sat on the floor. It was cold, but Jimin couldn't be bothered to get up and grab a blanket.

So much had happened to him that day; Hoseok and him practicing, the phone call, meeting Seokjin in the prop room, Seokjin asking him to become the choreographer, seeing Jungkook in the auditorium, the fight that Jungkook and Seokjin caused. All those thoughts running through his mind, overlapping and flying at an impressive speed. He just wanted to switch his brain off.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Reluctantly, he pulled it out, and glanced at the message on his screen.

Are you okay? :) - jinnie hyung

Jimin couldn't stop the feeling of delight wash over him as he read the text, but instantly pushed the feeling back down. He was worried Seokjin would be angry at him for storming off like that, even though he had tried to defend Jimin back there.

i'll be fine. just needed to clear my head.

Jimin sighs. His head is still racing, the dull ache throbbing on his forehead. His phone buzzed a few seconds after he sent his message.

You seemed pretty upset. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries again. Your friend was right. I know nothing about you, him, or your relationship. It wasn't my place to act like that. I'll try my best to be more mature in the future :(

The little upset face at the end of the message made Jimin snort. It was supposed to be an apology, but that little detail made it quite humorous in his eyes.

jk was being an ass. i don't blame u for snapping at him. 

Jimin paused.

thank you for standing up for me.

He hadn't expected Seokjin to react the way he did. Jimin had the whole situation prepared in his head; Jungkook would continue teasing him, Jimin would make up some stupid and unbelievable  excuse to both of them, Jungkook would take the piss out of that as well, Seokjin would look at him judgementally and never want to see him ever again, deleting his number and forbidding him from setting foot anywhere near that side of campus ever again.

But Seokjin had looked out for him. He had the guts to say what he wanted, and retaliate on Jimin's behalf, which he didn't have to do in the first place.

Jimin was used to letting Jungkook get what he wanted. He let him tease the older boy as much as he wanted, because he knew it came from Jungkook's own insecurities and self doubts. He hadn't had the best first year at college; lots of older, much scarier sports majors ganging up on him and belittling the boy. There were many occasions when Jungkook took it out on him. Jimin hated it, but he wanted to help Jungkook, even if it meant his own feelings getting hurt in the process. He really wanted Jungkook to feel safe around him, and be able to trust him.

But it was nice to have his side backed up for a change. And the fact that it was Kim Seokjin doing it, made it so much more satisfying. It made him feel like someone was looking out for him, for once. A feeling he didn't often get the pleasure of experiencing.

His phone buzzed again.

Don't thank me. The kid was pissing me off. I just said what was on my mind. I was seriously holding myself back, you know. >:(

How many cute faces was Seokjin going to send him?

u sure do use a lot of emoticons.

He found it really endearing. Did he send them to everyone? Was Jimin an exception?

They're cute right? -3- It makes my messages look less threatening.

what kind of messages r u even sending ppl??

"If you show up late again to rehearsal like you did on Monday I will not only permanently cut you from the script but also permanently cut off something even more precious (◕‿◕✿)" That one was for Taehyung a few days ago, needless to say he arrived 10 minutes early!

Jimin snorted loudly, already typing his response. All the thoughts that were previously racing through his mind vanished into thin air as he talked to his hyung.

~

Seokjin checked his phone again. No new messages.

He sighed whilst shoving it back into his pocket. He could vaguely hear Namjoon talking to the costume designer about what he had in mind for the protagonists costumes. Ideas that Seokjin had STRICTLY forbidden, but Namjoon ignored him anyway, as he usually does.

He refused to wear a fedora on stage. No amount of bribery or threats could change his mind.

He stopped himself from grabbing his phone again to check for something new. He knows that he would get a notification if a message was sent to him, yet he still feels the need to check anyway. He lost count of the number of times he has looked in the past hour. A part of it was due to sheer boredom. He was supposed to be helping Taehyung with his vocal projection. The kid was a great actor, but couldn't quite get his voice loud enough to fill an audience yet. It seemed as if he was busy elsewhere, probably off breaking more of Yoongi's equipment by accident.

It had been over an hour and a half since he sent a message to Jimin.

Seokjin had asked if he wanted to come down to the theatre today, and find out more about the play. He realised he had asked such a huge favour of Jimin, without actually showing him what the show was all about. He had hoped it would sway his decision a little more towards saying yes.

It wasn't an impolite text. It was very reasonable and fair. He had simply asked Jimin if he was free again, and if he was, would he like to spend a little time with him at the theatre? Not imposing at all, and he had every right to refuse. But Seokjin hadn't received any answer at all.

And he was not a patient person.

Seokjin leaned back in his chair, whining slightly. He didn't care if he looked childish. He just wanted Jimin to respond. Even a simple 'no' would be better than this. Life wasn't fair, sometimes.

"What are you pouting about this time?"

Seokjin leans his head back up, seeing Yoongi stood in front of him.

"I'm bored, I'm tired, and I want someone to respond to my message," He huffs in response. "It's not fair."

"Quit acting like a baby." Yoongi sighs, rolling his eyes. "Shouldn't you be doing something more important? Like learning your lines?"

Seokjin leans forward. "I've learnt most of them already. I'm just waiting for the script writers to finish the rest of the script."

Yoongi scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. "This shit takes time and effort. If you don't like how I work, go be in a different play. I'm sure there's plenty of other directors that would love to take you under their wing."

Seokjin huffs again, turning away from Yoongi. It was often that they were described as a perfect match. Him and his roommate complimented each other perfectly, in almost every shape and form, but that doesn't meant they didn't have their differences, or traits that annoyed one another.

"Who are you even moping over, anyway? Another one of your groupies, I presume."

Seokjin didn't like his tone. It was vaguely similar to that of Jimin's friend from the other day. Unlike Jimin, Seokjin could handle that type of attitude. Growing up in a industry like this, you need to learn how to deal with people's harsh words and their actions, grow thick skin and a bit of a backbone, or else you wouldn't survive. But that didn't mean Yoongi was cruel or blatantly unkind, despite what he came across as to many people. He was just a very upfront person. Extremely blunt and honest. He would always say exactly what was on his mind, without caring about how rude or harsh they sounded. But Seokjin respected that. It was what made him like Yoongi in the first place.

Jimin's friend, Jungkook, had the same tone and slight sneer in his voice. But the difference was that Yoongi hadn't meant any true harm, and he knew Seokjin wouldn't take any offence to it. Jungkook was rude for no blatant reason, and it was clear as day that Jimin didn't reciprocate the joke. 

A joke stops being a joke when one side doesn't reciprocate it any more.

"It's the future choreographer of this production, actually," He said, matter of factly. "I wanted him to come in today, but it doesn't look like thats happening."

"Was it the kid you were practically dragging around a few days ago? Poor guy looked so overwhelmed," Yoongi shook his head with pity. "You really need to tone it down, or else you'll end up scaring another one off."

Seokjin blinks. "I thought he was enjoying it."

Yoongi half smiles, raising an eyebrow as well. "He was probably too scared to tell you to shut up. You have that effect on people, you know."

Seokjin didn't get that type of feeling when he was with Jimin. He felt like he was genuinely listening to him, eyes watching him and paying him all his attention. It didn't feel fake either.

Seokjin was good at telling fake people apart from the real, the background characters to the main cast. Jimin wasn't a background castaway in his eyes. He listened to Seokjin. He understood his love for theatre. it was written all over Jimin's face.

"Anyway, try not to slack off too much. For some reason, everyone around here looks up to you. They'll start to think it's okay to waste time." Yoongi turns his back on him, and heads in the direction of his desk, where all his script writing brilliance was completed.

As soon as the young writing prodigy was out of his view, Seokjin turned his head towards Namjoon again, who was still furiously scribbling notes down on his crummy notebook like some maniac. But this time, he was talking to someone else.

In front of Namjoon, stood Jimin's self proclaimed friend and asshole roommate, Jungkook.

Seokjin winced when he saw him, wondering why Namjoon had even asked him to be here in the first place. He knew the kid was a sports major or something, which meant he would be useful with transferring the set and props, but Seokjin didn't want him here, to put it bluntly. It was clear to him that Jungkook was one of those athletes that couldn't stand theatre.

How completely cliché, Seokjin thinks.

He noticed the way Jungkook disliked having to follow orders for everyone around here, unless it was coming from Namjoon. He responded rudely to all the members here, and had a real attitude problem.

They haven't interacted since that messy argument, and Seokjin was more than happy about that. He didn't want to waste his attention on entitled brats. He knew there was no getting through to people like him. They were so set in their opinions, no possibility of being swayed.

It made no sense that Jungkook started helping out. He had no ties to any of the members, and as far as Seokjin was aware, didn't owe any favours. So why the sudden interest?

"Namjoon," Seokjin calls out, gaining the attention of the two males talking. He notices Jungkook's entire expression change when his eyes land on him. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure." He says something to Jungkook before heading towards Seokjin.

Jungkook shoots a lethal glare towards Seokjin, making him smile in return. 

He couldn't help but wave at the boy, his attitude smug and unprofessional. It must've annoyed him, causing him to strut off elsewhere.

Seokjin was sure that Jungkook wasn't a complete grade A asshole. Jimin had put up with him for so long, after all. No one could be a bad guy if a super nice and easy going person like Jimin hadn't ditched them already. But Seokjin would probably never know. It was like they existed in two completely different planes of existence. He was happy to keep it that way.

"Do you know each other?" Namjoon asks, glancing at the boy leaving, then back to Seokjin.

Seokjin waited until he could no longer see Jungkook until he averted his attention back to Namjoon. "Not really. Actually, thats why I called you over. Why exactly is he here?"

Namjoon looks confused. "Is that the only reason you called me over? We needed people to help move equipment, and he's pretty strong." He rolls his eyes. "I swear I told you this the other day, hyung. I'm too busy to answer questions you could've answered yourself."

"Yeah, but, why him? Why did he want to help us?"

Namjoon shrugs. "He was the first person who offered when I went asking around in classes. Maybe he wanted extra credit? Or maybe he's just a decent person who was willing to help us out?"

Seokjin doubted that. The kid must be acting like a goody two shoes for Namjoon, who only saw the good in people.

The truth is, Namjoon was one of the few genuinely nice people in this place, which was rare to find considering the amount of snakes and vultures Seokjin has had to deal with in the past. Although, every once in a while, Namjoon says something deeply meaningful and incredibly poetic  that reveals a darker outlook on life that Seokjin isn't sure he always understands. He probably isn't smart enough. Or, debatably, dumb enough for that matter. 

He had no idea where Namjoon gets it from, sometimes. The guy did a lot of reading, so probably some highly intellectual book about the meaning of life and death.

Or maybe just Star Trek.

"Are you okay, hyung?"

Seokjin blinked a few times. "Why are you asking?"

"Well," Namjoon scratches his nose, cutely. "You've been moping around the theatre all day. I guess I'm just used to you being bossy and refusing my costume ideas."

"I still haven't changed my mind about the fedora."

"But it suits your character perfectly!"

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Seokjin had never grabbed at something so urgently in his life. But there was no new messages from Park Jimin. Just from some nobody who Seokjin had zero idea how they got hold of his number. He really needed to stop giving it out to people who meant nothing to him.

The disappointment washed over him, making him lose all hope. He just wanted this miserable day to end already.

"Who are you texting?" Namjoon looked curious. "Actually, never mind. I don't wanna know which one of your crazy one night stands it is this time."

Seokjin glared at Namjoon. As much as he valued their friendship, he had to admit that his friend really didn't know that much about him.

"Also, did everything work out with the choreographer you wanted? We need to start practicing soon, you know. I don't want everyone to feel unprepared." He says to Seokjin, the doubt as clear as day in his voice.

"I'm working on it," Seokjin mumbles, earning a sigh from the other.

"We need to know soon, hyung. If we don't get an answer in a week, you're gonna have to give up your dream ideas of there being any choreography in this show."

And then he left, presumably to continue doing the stuff that directors do. Whatever that was, exactly.

Seokjin knew that involving contemporary dance to their show would be adding a lot more pressure to all the people involved, and a lot more training. They had never discussed having any there before, until Seokjin suddenly sprung the idea on them almost three weeks ago. Namjoon and Yoongi had nearly refused the idea altogether, thinking that they had won their hour long argument with Seokjin over the matter. As per usual, they had under estimated Seokjin's persistence and persuasion, eventually giving in.

Sighing for what felt like the twentieth time that day, Seokjin decided to check his other less important messages for the time being.

Fifteen unread messages, all from no one he wanted to hear from.

They were all asking him if he wanted to meet up for a drink, go to a party with him, or begging him to give them a part in the play. He was very tempted to delete them all, but remembered how annoying it was to be completely ignored by someone who you really wanted to respond. So he sent them all polite, short answers, saying sorry, I'm busy that day or I don't feel like partying at the moment or I'm afraid all the parts in the show have already been taken, not a single emoticon present.

Seokjin wanted to send Jimin a second message, asking him if he was ignoring him, or simply too busy to answer his first message. But that was stupid. He knew how desperate that sounded. He needed Jimin to like him, to trust him, and no one likes a needy person. But Seokjin was desperate for Jimin to join. 

Every year, Seokjin had topped himself again and again. It was his reputation. His last show had gained so much attention and praise, it went far beyond Seokjin's expectations, and that scared him to the core. He needed this one to be even better, even if it seemed slightly impossible.

No. Nothing was impossible for Seokjin. He knew that when he saw Jimin dance for the first time that day.

He wanted this to be the best show he has ever been in before, and to do that, he needed Park Jimin to say yes.

~

He knew it was bad to ignore his messages.

Jimin was usually pretty good at responding within a reasonable amount of time. He never texted back immediately, not wanted to seem too eager, and never left it too late, fifteen minutes being the latest time after a text he would respond.

But as soon as he saw the message from Seokjin, his whole being stopped working momentarily.

He had been in the middle of practising again, still unable to perfect his sequence to his standards, when his phone pinged.

Jimin stopped the music and grabbed his phone, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his t-shirt.

Jiminie! I just realised that I never told you about the show in detail! IT'S SO SO GOOD!!! I know you would love it so much. How about you come to the theatre again today so I can tell you about it. But if you're too busy I understand. Hoping to see you soon! ㅇㅅㅇ

Cue instant panicking.

He didn't expect Seokjin to get back to him so quickly. He hadn't prepared himself, hadn't fully grasped everything that had happened at their last meeting, still processing the whole ordeal.

It was too soon, too fast, too much to ask of him.

Jimin knew his panicking was irrational, as it always was. Seokjin had sent a kind and polite message. There was nothing wrong with it. Jimin was the problem, not Seokjin.

But a part of Jimin had hoped Seokjin would've somehow forgotten about his offer, or maybe even realised how stupid he was for asking Jimin to do it in the first place. But he knew that was never the case.

He was scared to answer him. He didn't want to go back to that theatre, with its huge crowd of actors and its bright, blinding lights, and with Seokjin and his huge, sparkling eyes, looking at him with such respect and admiration as a fellow performer, expecting so much of him.

He didn't want to let Seokjin down. Just picturing the look on his face if Jimin turned down his proposition made his stomach muscles tense up uncomfortably. But Seokjin would inevitably be let down even more if he allowed Jimin to continue in the first place. Eventually, he'd realise his big mistake, and come to the conclusion that Jimin wasn't worthy of such a prestigious position.

Forgotten memories resurfaced his mind that Jimin had so painfully forced away. Hundreds of eyes all staring directly onto him. Whispers of disapproval and critiques so clear to him, like it was yesterday. The overwhelming feeling of dancing like his life depended on it, giving it his all for the first time of his life, and ultimately failing. That excruciating feeling Jimin had almost forgotten.

Somewhere deep down in him, Jimin was even more scared to say yes.

That small voice in his head, telling him to jump. To take a chance. 

He never listened to that voice. He rarely ever heard it, always pushing it to the back of his mind, letting his other thoughts cloud his judgement.

What if he just said yes? Would he succeed? Could he finally gain back his love for performing which he had lost so long ago? Can he conquer those fears and take a leap of faith?

Have you never really seen yourself dance? The first time I saw you in that studio you blew me away.

Jimin knew that if he saw Seokjin again, and he asked him one more time if he would join them, that Jimin would say yes.

"Is that really what you're fretting about?"

Hoseok took yet another huge bite from his burger.

"I didn't call you here for you to judge me," Jimin huffed, playing with the straw in his glass of coke. "I need your help deciding what I should do."

Hoseok simply grunts, chewing his food with an annoyed expression on his face. Jimin should've known he would be no help.

"I can't believe you're having problems over the simplest things," He eventually speaks, thankfully with no food in his mouth that time. "I wish my biggest concerns were about the devilishly handsome Kim Seokjin, practically begging me to join his life changing show, ultimately guaranteeing me success for the rest of my career as a dancer. Do you know how many damn classes my instructor has booked me in for the junior kids this month? I hate teaching those brats, and they never learn a damn thing."

"Doesn't it pay well though?" Jimin asked, wondering why on earth he was the one paying for both their food if that was the case.

Hoseok's head collapsed onto the table, hitting it with a loud bang. "Not as well as it used to." He groaned. "I hate my life. And this burger tastes like ass."

"You weren't complaining two minutes ago when you were shoving it down your throat." Jimin took his drink and sipped. "And I didn't come here to worry about your junior class issues. We are talking about me, remember?"

Hoseok frowns, poking his burger. "Why couldn't you argue this out with Jungkook instead? He has loads of free time to waste."

Jimin hadn't mentioned that Jungkook and him weren't talking at the moment. They had successfully avoided each other since the fight. At first, Jungkook had tried to talk to him, sending him texts apologising and asking him if they could talk properly, but Jimin ignored them. He was still pissed off, and had every right to be. So Jungkook stopped texting all together, and left for classes earlier so they wouldn't run into each other awkwardly in the morning.

He couldn't remember the last time they fell out this badly. They argued all the time, and even occasionally pushed it a little too far at times, but they always made up the next day.

Jimin didn't want to explain this all to Hoseok. To be honest, he didn't really know how to, either. He still wasn't sure what made Jungkook so angry that day, seeing him and Seokjin alone together in the dressing room. It was like something snapped in Jungkook.

"Jungkook took some extra classes. He's too busy at the moment," Jimin lied.

Hoseok purses his lips. "You're both even brattier than the kids I teach." He leans up properly and removes his head from the table. "I don't see what the problem is here. You got offered to be the choreographer for the biggest show of your life, earning you lots of potential scouters and offers from agencies at the end. You'll practically be famous when it's all over, so tell me, why are you even debating this in the first place?"

"Because I'm scared," Jimin whispers, barely able to hear.

Hoseok sighs from across him, shaking his head. "Listen, Jimin. When was the last time you worried this much over something?"

"During my entrance examination," he mumbles.

"Right? You were so terrified you even considered giving up and going home, but did you?" Hoseok stared at Jimin. He hated it when Hoseok was right about everything. "No, you didn't. And because you decided to stay and perform, what happened?"

"I got accepted into college."

"Precisely. If you didn't stick around, you would've never gotten into the college of your dreams. Those examiners thought you were good, right? Why else did they choose you out of hundreds auditioning?"

All his points made complete and total sense, but Jimin couldn't help but make up excuses for everything in his head. 

The examiners were tired out from the mass amount of auditions that day, and weren't properly paying attention to him, confusing Jimin for a good dancer.

They accidentally picked him instead of another Park Jimin, since it was such a common name.

They were stoned to hell and back, and pulled any random name out of a hat, he was just lucky that it was his name.

All these excuses sounded more believable to him than the examiners actually thinking that he was a good dancer with the potential and capabilities to attend their college.

"Park Jimin, I'm only going to say this once. Take a chance, and go down to the theatre to see Seokjin. You'll know your answer when you get there."

That's exactly what Jimin was afraid of.

~

"Hyung, I really don't get why he says this line," Taehyung whines, looking at Seokjin, who was staring at his own script.

"It's supposed to show the audience a glance into the characters weaknesses and vulnerabilities. He is an incredibly stoic person on the front, but hides a long range of insecurities and fears deep beyond the surface that he doesn't generally let slip though his persona. You would know all this if you read between the lines, once in a while," Yoongi groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's what differentiates you and a proper actor who's taken seriously."

"Ouch," Seokjin chuckles, flipping a page. He partly felt bad for Taehyung, always being the target of Yoongi's harsh words, but he had once been in the position, and was in no desire to go back.

Taehyung sighs, swimming through the script quickly. "He's always whining and complaining, like everything about his life is such a burden. If I were this character, I would've been thrilled to have a life like his," he mumbles just loud enough for Seokjin to hear, biting his nails like a child. "Why can't he be cool like Jin hyung's character?"

"What do you mean? You have the most important role in this play! No one is cooler than that, right?" Seokjin leaned over to gently pat Taehyung on the back. "Besides, he is only whiney if you choose to portray him that way."

Taehyung pauses his chewing and flicks his gaze to Seokjin sitting next to him. His eyes big and wide. Seokjin couldn't help but find him incredibly cute.

"Would you rather be this character, or be the guy on page thirty four?" Seokjin flicks through his script to find the name. "That right, Jihyun. Stupid ass character if you ask me."

"Hey, what do you have against him? He's a nice person," Taehyung protests, innocently.

"That's exactly the problem," Seokjin internally sighs. Taehyung wasn't aware that this character was to become the main antagonist towards the finale. He was a secretly cruel and sociopathic character, who controls the protagonist and uses him for his own good, disguising it as kindness. "Because he's so nice, people like you are completely fooled by him, and don't want to believe that he is capable of awful things, so you all let him off the hook."

"Can we stop wasting time and get back to reading the script? I need to know if it makes sense when spoken so I can change anything in good time." Yoongi grunts, raising his voice a little in order to gain attention from the other three people sat in the circle. "Also, stop insulting my choice of characterisation, hyung. Or I'll make you be the one to play him, instead."

"Calm down, hyung. We've got plenty of time to make changes," Namjoon says, yet again being the peace maker.

Yoongi pouts, crossing his arms across his chest and looking at the ground. Just like a cute grumpy cat, Seokjin thinks.

It didn't take long for them to actually listen to Yoongi's complaining and start going over the lines properly. Seokjin read them out like he would in a proper rehearsal, and made sure to read out the stage directions as well. Taehyung struggled a bit with how he wanted to present his character. He kept changing between lonesome protagonist to cold and abrasive. Seokjin knew he was a much better actor than this, it was why he had asked him to audition in the first place.

Taehyung was becoming somewhat of a rising star on campus, and Seokjin could understand why. He had only ever been in a few smaller shows, playing far less important characters, but he had far out shined everyone else in his pervious performances, gaining Seokjin's attention and approval almost instantly. This was his first major role, and Seokjin had hoped he would rise to the challenge.

No. It's too early to think like that. Taehyung had plenty of time to adapt into the role and make it his own. Seokjin was sure that Taehyung would rise beyond his expectations eventually, he just needed time and practice.

Yoongi had been scribbling notes non stop since they started, and Namjoon had been calling out subtle changes he thought were needed to improve the script and directions. They worked well as a team together. Seokjin couldn't have asked for a better cast this year.

"Um, excuse me?"

All four of them stopped what they were doing to turn and look at the source of the voice. Seokjin had to crane his neck all the way around, since they were standing right behind him.

There stood Park Jimin, clutching the handle of his backpack tightly and looking around the whole room, anywhere but at Seokjin.

"You're here!" Seokjin stood up quickly, unable to suppress the grin on his face.

He genuinely thought Jimin wouldn't come, since he never responded to his message. He had already started making a list of potential choreographers to look into and interrogate instead of Park Jimin, none of which were good enough for him. They all seemed so bland and boring compared to the man stood in front of him. They were all practically perfect in every way. A little too perfect for him. Jimin was the only one worthy enough.

Jimin visibly swallowed, scuffing his shoes on the floor. "Sorry I didn't respond to your text. I was, um, practicing."

Seokjin knew this was a blatant lie, but chose to ignore it, instantly forgetting how he had felt the past couple hours, moaning and groaning over the dancer that had left him hanging. "Well, you're here now! I have so much I want to show you." He turns back to the three other males still sat down. "Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung. This is Park Jimin. Our soon to be choreographer. Some of you have met him already, I believe."

Namjoon stands up and quickly makes his way over to Jimin whilst holding out his hand. Still as polite as ever. "Nice to see you again, Jimin. I'm glad you decided to join us."

"Um, well, I…" Jimin's face went pale.

Seokjin rolls his eyes and puts his hand on Jimin's shoulder. "He still hasn't agreed yet, Namjoon. Don't make him feel anymore uncomfortable than he already does."

"Ah, I see. My apologises," he bows his head, earning a slight smile from the corner of Jimin's mouth.

Seokjin pats Jimin's back, encouragingly. "Sit down. I want to tell you everything."

"With everyone else here as well?" Jimin asked, anxiously.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders, seemingly nonchalant. "I don't see why not? They're all involved in the process of creating the production in one way or another. If you have any questions they'll probably answer them better than me anyway."

He grabs another chair, letting Jimin take his own next to Taehyung, and sits down on the chair facing back to front. 

"So, Jimin, are you familiar at all with the play?" Namjoon asks.

Jimin shakes his head in response. "I know absolutely nothing."

"Okay then," Namjoon nods, looking towards Seokjin. "Would you like to explain the synopsis, hyung? You're pretty good at making everything sound dramatic and intriguing."

"I'll take that as a compliment, even though I feel like I've just been indirectly insulted," Seokjin huffs, cracking his knuckles. He turns back to Jimin, looking into his big doll like eyes. He hoped the boy was ready for it. "Picture this. There's a mysterious painter who is loved worldwide for the pieces he produces. His name is one of the most prestigious in the industry. Everyone wants to see his art, and travel for miles and miles to just catch a glimpse of one of his creations. But in this world, everyone is born with a curse that is chosen for them the day they are born, such as being cursed to be born ugly, or to never have any children. Things that cause the people great misery. This man had never known his parents, and grew up without any knowledge of his curse. He lived his life to it's full extent, and never has any long term problems that caused him any harm or difficulties. Understood everything so far?"

Jimin eagerly nods.

"Good. Well, everyone had just assumed he hadn't been cursed as a child. That he was one of the few that were lucky enough to avoid it. That caused a lot of hatred to be directed towards him. There was constant unwanted gossip and chit chat about the artist, cruel and harsh words floating around him, their jealously towards him unable to be hidden. Until finally, his curse finally appears. He had been cursed to have the one most precious thing to him taken away when he was at the peak of his life, and that was his joy for art and painting. So the curse took away his ability to see colour."

Seokjin was picturing the story in his head as clear as day. He vaguely remembered discussing the concept of a painter who was colourblind with Yoongi almost a year ago, just as an idea, nothing serious. They both started to expand their thoughts on the idea, making it grow and grow until it became this story they were both passionate and excited about. They had told Namjoon about it, and he started pitching in as well. Before long, they had the whole thing planned out from start to finish.

"He was distraught by this. Art was his only form of expressing himself. Colour changed his perception on reality, made him see things differently from most people. It was the only thing that people had ever cared about from him, and now it was gone. So he sought help from a sorcerer, who promised him he could bring back the colour to his eyes."

"And does he?" Jimin asked, looking interested.

Seokjin smiled, feeling a little smug. "He doesn't have the power to directly break a curse, even though he's a powerful sorcerer. He helps the artist bring his colour back in different ways, by delving into his thoughts and feelings, his past trauma and his perceptions on the world."

Jimin's gaze burned into Seokjin's, paying him his full attention.

"You see, the artist didn't value his talent properly. He saw it as his only source of reliance, and had lost the purpose of why he had even started painting in the first place. The sorcerer makes him realise there is more to his art than stability, and to regain his love for painting. He also showed him the world was colourful too, not just his precious art. He started seeing colour in places he hadn't before."

Jimin gulps. "And do they fall in love?"

"Not exactly. The sorcerer had a curse of his own, and that was to never be allowed to love another being. He wasn't allowed to be with the artist in the end. They could never break his curse. It's kind of a bittersweet ending. The artist is able to get everything he wants and break the curse that tortured his soul, but the sorcerer will never be able to love."

"Why not? Can't there be some sort of spell to break it? Or can't they just find another sorcerer to help them?" Jimin ponders out loud.

Seokjin chuckles, breaking eye contact with Jimin. "Some curses just can't be broken."

Jimin looked confused from Seokjin's answer, like he had more he wanted to say on the matter, but stayed silent.

"Jeez, you sure do explain things in full detail, hyung," Yoongi yawns, stretching his arms out. "You couldn't have just gave him a basic summary?"

"What's the point in that? The story is so complex, a simple summary won't do it justice," Seokjin frowned. If he wanted Jimin to take his offer, he had to sell the story to him, making him actually want to participate and feel excitement towards it.

"What's it called?"

They all turned to look at Jimin, who squirmed under the attention.

"T-The play. What's it called?" He repeated himself.

He looks directly at Jimin, with a small smile ghosting his lips.

"Serendipity."

Jimin looked surprised by his answer, mouthing the single word Seokjin had just said to him.

"It's cool, right? Namjoon thought of it," Seokjin laughed, nudging his head towards the man in question.

"It's pretty cool," Jimin agreed quietly, whilst playing with his thumbs. "Are you playing the artist?"

"Actually!" Taehyung interrupts. "I am!"

Jimin jumped at the sudden loud voice of Taehyung, sitting next to him.

"We thought I would suit the role of the sorcerer better, and give Taehyung the chance to show his abilities on stage with this role," Seokjin explained, his mind wondering back to the look on Taehyung's face when he told him he wanted the younger man to be the leading role in his upcoming show. "Are you surprised?"

"Actually, yes," Jimin said honestly. "I'd heard you have been the lead role in every play since you were ten years old."

Seokjin shrugs it off. "I thought it was time for a change of pace. I liked this character better, anyway. I've got a thing for playing tragic roles, plus the sorcerer seems far more handsome and charming, just like me." He winked at Jimin, successfully earning an embarrassed look from him.

Yoongi coughs, interrupting the gaze between Seokjin and Jimin with his serious script writer look that Seokjin was oh so well acquainted with. "Going back to why we are having this discussion in the first place, we need to start properly staging all this." He refers to the script in his hand. "If we are really going to have any choreography in this like you're so boldly demanding, then we need to start working on it immediately."

Yoongi looks straight at Jimin, making the poor boy look even more uncomfortable than before. Seokjin wishes Yoongi would go a little easier on the newbies and juniors, knowing that once upon a time, Yoongi had all the same struggles. "Park Jimin, we can't hang around waiting for an answer for long. As I'm sure you are aware, this is a serious production we are planning, and there is a lot of pressure on us to make this show hugely successful. Which is why I am going to ask for your answer right now."

Seokjin saw the way Jimin tensed up in response, and felt the need to step in. "Woah, Yoongi, can't you be a little reasonable here? He's only just heard the story, he needs a chance to let it all sink in. We haven't even shown him any of the script, or any of the composed music that we have prepared-"

"I think I've been perfectly reasonable, hyung. We need an answer. I would've thought you of all people would understand."

Seokjin knew Yoongi was right. They desperately needed to start, and it wasn't fair to everyone else involved to keep postponing it just for Seokjin's sake. But this way, he wouldn't get the proper chance to show Jimin that this play was meant for him, and that he would regret it if he said no. Seokjin's ideas of this play being the greatest he had worked on so far, were quickly vanishing into think air right before his eyes. His shoulders sank and he leaned his head forward, letting his hair fall over his eyes. Was it over?

"I'll do it."

Seokjin sprang his head back up, not believing his ears. Was his hearing tricking him? He saw Jimin sat upright, gripping his knuckles tightly until they were practically white, and looking at Yoongi with determination in his eyes. The cute pink that Seokjin had seen dust Jimin's cheeks before was present yet again, but he still sat there, looking stronger than Seokjin had ever seen him before.

"You mean it?" he asked Jimin, nervously. His voice was cautious and unconfident, not like his usual tone.

Jimin finally looked at Seokjin, making eye contact. His expression was unsure and a little scared. he must've been thinking about this a lot. "Yes. I'll do it."

Seokjin didn't hesitate to leap up from his chair and wrap his arms around Jimin, unable to control himself. He could kiss him right now, he was so happy. It felt like a thousand weights had suddenly been lifted off of his shoulders, and made Seokjin feel lighter than a feather.

"I knew you would say yes! I knew it I knew it I knew it!" Seokjin chanted loudly, still hugging Jimin tightly.

"Jesus, stop! You're smothering him!" Namjoon called.

Seokjin quickly removed himself from Jimin. "Ah, sorry about that, Jiminie." He scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously. He had let himself get too excited. Isn't he supposed to be the oldest one here?

Jimin's face had changed from a slight pink blush to a full grown red tomato. Seokjin must've traumatised him.

He needed to learn how to control himself. 

Bad Seokjin, he scolded himself internally, like he would to an disobedient puppy.

"It's okay, Jin hyung," Jimin giggled a little, fanning his face. "You just keep surprising me."

Now it was Seokjin's turn to feel embarrassed. Luckily, he was pretty good at covering his emotions when he wanted to, just like a professional, and didn't let the embarrassment rise to the surface.

"That's one of my best qualities. You'll get used to being surprised by me soon enough." Seokjin couldn't hold himself from winking again.

Jimin smiled at him, his full face mimicking his expression. For the first time, Seokjin saw his eyes turn into little moon shapes, and teeth fully on display through the smile. Everything about his face was sickeningly sweet, and Seokjin felt that Jimin looked best like this.

He smiled back.

He hoped to see more of that smile throughout the months that they would be spending together as lead actor and lead choreographer. 

Chapter Text

There was something going on between Jimin and Jungkook.

Hoseok stared at the man sitting opposite him on the picnic table, nibbling on a sandwich like a mouse, then glanced to his left where Jungkook was sat, alone at a separate picnic table.

He wasn't an idiot. They were clearly fighting.

Hoseok began feeling suspicious as soon as Jimin started making up excuses for why Jungkook was always absent when they hung out, and now it was just blatantly obvious.

The two Busan boys were always fighting, and Hoseok would even argue they enjoyed it. They would always find something stupid to disagree on, and it always spiralled out of control. It had been the same ever since Hoseok first met them. However, they always made up the next day, with Hoseok's help, of course. That was their routine. This time seemed different.

"Okay, what happened?" Hoseok sighed, breaking the silence. It was starting to get incredibly frustrating.

Jimin looked up at him in surprise, almost like he'd completely forgotten about Hoseok's presence. "What do you mean?"

Hoseok grunted. "Whatever you and Jungkook are fighting about this time, I wanna know the whole damn story. And don't you dare try and lie to me, I know something's up."

Jimin stopped chewing, eyes scanning Hoseok. He gently placed his food down, back into the plastic packaging. "It's a long story, hyung. You'd think it's stupid."

"It's always stupid!" Hoseok huffs out a short breath. "You two always disagree on the most pointless things. The last I remember, you two almost ended up punching each other over which god damn naruto character was the best. So what makes this occasion any worse?"

Jimin pokes his food like a child, going completely silent.

Sometimes Hoseok felt like he was friends with toddlers. Why did he always have the be the damn peace maker? One day, he was going to teach these damn brats respect.

"If you won't tell me, I'll just hassle Jungkook instead," Hoseok smirks, knowing fully well Jungkook wouldn't tell him shit. Jimin was so much easier to break than the younger man.

Jimin pursed his lips, leaning his chin on one hand. "Oh please. You know as well as I do that Jungkook has a tight upper lip."

"Which is why it would just be easier if you tell me instead." Hoseok grumbled. 

Jimin blinked a couple times, hesitantly glancing towards Jungkook's table. He gulped, making Hoseok sigh at the pure dramatics of the whole situation.

"Well…" Jimin started. "Jungkook sort of got into a heated discussion with Seokjin."

"Kim Seokjin?" Hoseok exclaimed, his ears perking up. Out of the three of them, he was the one who loved gossip and drama the most. Who could blame him to be intrigued when the two most boring people in the world, otherwise known as Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, finally had something interesting to tell him. "Why would they ever fight? Do they even know each other?"

"They didn't until a few days ago," Jimin continued. "Jungkook made a few childish jokes, and Seokjin stood up against Jungkook, and the whole thing just sort of spiralled downwards from there."

"Damn, I didn't see Seokjin as the aggressive type." Hoseok replied, leaning back a little. "Was it hot?"

"You know I hate you, right?"

"The thought occurred."

Jimin hung his head slightly, clearly embarrassed by the conversation. Hoseok wasn't sure if he cared or not. He liked seeing Jimin outside of his usual friendship group.

"He's not aggressive. Actually, he was far from it…" Jimins speech fades out. "He was stern, and straight to the point. He didn't raise his voice or sound threatening. He was…. defending me."

Jimin had whispered those last few words out, but Hoseok heard them clearly. He nearly gasped out loud, picturing the broad shouldered beauty, looming over a cowering Jungkook, putting the boy in his place. It was an image he wished he could've seen for himself.

"Thats… really hot," Hoseok covered his face with one hand, feeling giddy. "So when are you seeing him next?"

Jimin suddenly looked back to him, trying to hide the redness creeping up his neck with his jacket. "You're making it sound like I'm dating him or something."

"Well, if you don't, I sure could use a guy like that in my life," Hoseok chimed at him, giggling slightly.

He notices Jungkook get up from his seat and walk away from the eating area. Oh right, he forget they were supposed to be talking about Jungkook. It was the damn Kim Seokjin effect.

"Anyway," Hoseok coughs. "You need to talk to your best friend, Jimin. I'm not sure exactly what he said or whatever went down, but I know you both well enough to have a pretty good idea. You're going to have to face this eventually, you're roommates for christ sake! How long do you really think you can keep avoiding him for?"

Jimin stayed silent, lowering his head so his fringe fell in his eyes.

Hoseok hated being given the silent treatment. "Fine! Keep fighting with him and stay miserable. See if I care," Hoseok crossed his arms against his chest. "If you don't like your roommate, then give him to me. I've been thinking of looking for a new one, so this'll work out perfectly for me."

"What's wrong with Daniel? I thought you said he was the ideal roommate."

"That was until he started bringing home four girls at once. And not quiet ones either. How am I supposed to get any beauty sleep with them humping like wild animals all night? Plus it makes me look like a total loser for never bringing back anyone myself."

"Why is everything a challenge to you?"

"Because it makes me feel superior for once."

"Maybe if you actually had sex appeal you wouldn't feel so threatened."

"Like you're one to talk. I don't see anyone throwing themselves at you these days."

"Leave me out of your petty drama."

"You started it."

"For once in your life, please just shut up, Hoseok."

~

If Jimin got to choose another life, he would've been the confident, brave, charming young man, who could handle multiple responsibilities at once.

And was also pretty tall. That was probably the most important aspect.

Instead, he was stuck with the shy, introverted, awkward kid, who was all of a sudden handling two majors, multiple assignments for both of those subjects, and a part time job, whilst also being the lead choreographer for an upcoming, highly anticipated show.

And he was still short.

"Jimin, could you please stop daydreaming? We have customers."

His thoughts were immediately interrupted by his supervisor.

Jimin noticed the growing number of people entering the bar he worked at, and quickly bowed his head in apology. "I'm sorry sir! I'll try my best to pay my full attention to my work!"

He scowled before heading off to the staff room, only to slack off like he usually did during his shift. Jimin couldn't help but scoff at the irony.

He blew out a deep breath before returning his attention to serving various customers, pouring them drinks and making recommendations. He had only started working here a month ago, since his bank account was starting to look a little sparse recently. He didn't like working during term time, but he hadn't really earned enough from his summer job to last him till Christmas, and there was no chance of his parents lending him any cash.

His phone in his back pocket vibrated, so Jimin sneakily took a peak, hoping none of his supervisors or co workers would notice.

what time does ur shift end? i wanna talk 2 u

It was Jungkook.

Jimin still hadn't spoken to him about the fight, and wasn't planning to anytime soon. They had successfully avoided each other, having little to no interactions at all. Jimin was still beyond pissed off, and a part of him was enjoying making the younger man suffer from his silent treatment. He was a petty son of a bitch when he wanted to be, and there was no way he would be the one to break the silence, since he never did anything wrong in the first place.

He wished Hoseok hadn't brought it up earlier. He was doing a pretty good job at avoiding Jungkook.

stop ignoring me

and stop leaving me on read u asswipe

please??

hyung

Jimin was waiting for him to pull the hyung card. He would only ever call Jimin hyung when he had given up the fight. In other words, Jimin was the ultimate winner.

my shift ends in 2 hours. u better have a damn apology ready or im kicking u out for good

He quickly types out his response before shoving the phone back into his pocket. He already knew that he would forgive Jungkook, regardless of how well he apologised or not. The kid had a special spot in his heart, and like all best friends, you end up forgiving them no matter what.

But he wasn't lying about kicking him out. That much was true.

Jimin looked around the bar, eyeing up all the people sat and chatting with their friends, thinking about how lucky he was to get a job here. The bar was fairly close by to his apartment, so he didn't ever have to worry about transport, and the people who came here were your typical nerdy groups of science majors, who didn't drink much and just wanted a place to sit and converse about star trek. No one here would know him, and that delighted Jimin. 

Each clique had there own places to go, and had claimed their spots in town. The performance majors were much further away. Jimin didn't want to work at a bar where he would have to serve and pretend to be nice to all those stuck up jerks who would look down on him and complain about how tough their lives were. Oh boo hoo poor little rich kids. He got enough of that during the day, he didn't need it after classes as well.

It gave him a chance to just relax and forget about his daily life, and push the looming thoughts of projects and shows and beautiful men calling his dancing mind blowing and staring at him with big golden eyes to the back of his mind. 

Here, he could just breathe for once.

"This beer tastes like piss. Did you spit in it, kid?"

Jimin stares at the angry looking customer. He was much older, clearly not a student from their university. Why would a guy like this be going to a student bar? Some people are strange.

"I'm sorry if your beer tasted that way, but I didn't spit in it," Jimin answered as politely as he could. He hadn't even been the bartender to serve this douche, why did he have to deal with all the shitty customers? Was he a damn magnet? "Would you like a refill on the house as an apology?"

"Sure," the asshole grunts. "But I'm watching you this time."

Jimin suppressed his scowl and covered it up with a forced smile, turning towards the tap and filling up the glass with beer. He was tempted to spit in it just to spite the bastard, but the guy was watching him like a hawk. Asshole.

"Here you go," Jimin passes it to him, and the guy just grabs it and takes off, not even bothering to thank him. 

One day, Jimin will spit directly in his face, and not bother to aim for the glass. The mental image made him feel a little less angry.

He glanced towards the back of the bar, spotting Hoseok on his phone. He had insisted on coming tonight, since he hadn't had the chance to check out the bar yet. Jimin knew that he would hate it hear, and of course, he was right. The scowl on Hoseok's face proves it, as he furiously taps his phone, most likely playing some stupid game to make the time pass. Why couldn't he just go home? He was just glad he wasn't bothering him tonight.

"I'm looking for a new roommate, remember? This place is filled with nerds who don't get out much, sounds like the perfect place to find a potential candidate." Hoseok said earlier, when Jimin had asked why why he wanted to come tonight.

As far as Jimin had seen, the older man hadn't spoken to a single person so far. He just sat there and observed. He really should just go home.

The door opened again, bringing in more customers. It was a pretty busy Friday night, even busier than usual, and he was getting some nice tips from the more generous customers this evening, especially if he winked and sucked up to a few of them. Another two hours and he would be free.

He started wondering what he was going to eat for dinner that night, debating on if he should attempt to cook a meal or be his usual lazy self and just pick up a take out meal on his way back, partly just to taunt Jungkook and eat the food right in front of his apologetic face, when he froze.

Before he could register what he saw, he jumped down behind the counter to hide his face.

Did he just see Kim Seokjin walking in?

Surely he must've been seeing things. Kim Seokjin would never be caught dead in a place like this. He would certainly never willingly set foot in a bar for people who probably have giant anime girl body pillows and care about the political troubles of their tv show universe than their actual countries. To say the least, this was not Kim Seokjin's crowd. It must've been a look a like. 

Jimin slowly glanced over the top of the counter to look at the table again.

Fuck.

It really is him.

He was sat directly opposite a guy holding out his nintendo, with Seokjin glancing at the screen amusingly.

Of all the fucking bars he had to go to.

Jimin wasn't exactly avoiding Seokjin, he just didn't want to be seen outside of campus. For some reason, he found it incredibly humiliating, especially since Seokjin was the son of a famous CEO, meaning he was richer than any of the other stuck up brats he knew. Jimin had only known that from the research he had done. Oh God, that made him sound like a stalker.

He wasn't ashamed of working part time, but he couldn't handle the thought of Seokjin seeing him like this. Would he judge him like all the other snobs? Even if he acted nice to his face, Seokjin could still be thinking otherwise.

"Jimin? Are you okay down there?"

He looked up at his co worker, Minji, looking down at him with a concerned expression.

Jimin paused. How would he explain this one?

"My legs are hurting after all the practice," Jimin replies, feeling his face heat up. "Just give me a minute."

"Um, okay," She says, still looking confused. She was a sweet girl, really. But very perceptive. "Also, your friend just told me that he was going to head out soon."

At least there was some good news.

But wait, if Hoseok were to get up and leave, would Seokjin notice him? The actor seemed like the type to greet everyone, and Hoseok would surely snitch and tell him how Jimin worked here. His mind came up with endless possibilities as it always did, and Jimin felt the panic rise in his throat. He couldn't let that happen.

Jimin took a deep breath to calm himself down, before going through his different options in his head.

First option, he could pretend to be someone else. Jimin knew where a pair of scissors were kept in the staff room, he could easily cut all his hair off, draw on a moustache, change his name, fake an accent, and have them all fooled. Except, he wasn't keen on the idea of cutting off his blonde locks, and he wasn't entirely sure that neither Seokjin or Hoseok would fall for the trick.

Second option, he could tell Minji he was feeling sick, get permission to end his shift early, then sneak out undetected. The place was crowded, and if he could just get out from behind the bar without being seen, he had a clear path to the door. But Seokjin was placed directly opposite the bar, and Hoseok was sat next to the exit, so it was likely he would get caught.

Or lastly, he could just grow a pair and continue working, hoping that neither of them approach him.

So far, the second option seemed to he the most appealing to Jimin.

"Minji?" Jimin quietly uttered, gaining her attention. "Can I ask a favour?"

"Yeah, of course," She said."

"Could you tell hyung that I'm feeling sick and I had to go home? Like, immediately?" Jimin asked, half smiling at her.

She raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem that unwell to me."

Jimin started coughing harshly. "It's really bad. I have asthma and I forgot my inhaler."

He felt bad for lying, but he'd rather be a liar than look like a clown in front of Seokjin and Hoseok.

"Oh my god! That's terrible!" Minji's voice and expression looked as though she believed Jimin. "Okay, I'll tell him you had an emergency."

"Thank you," Jimin wheezed out, making sure to cough a few more times. This acting thing wasn't that hard after all. If he wasn't such a scaredy cat maybe he could've been an actor in another life. Maybe he could've been a confident handsome actor who is loved by everyone and is seemingly perfect in every way.

Whilst Minji went searching for their supervisor, Jimin started carefully sneaking around the bar, plotting his exact route to escape. There were a few people walking towards the exit slowly, in a large group as well. This couldn't be more perfect.

Maybe the gods didn't hate him after all.

He quickly stood up and hid behind them, glancing in Seokjin's direction, who was still conversing with the guys on the table. Good, he hadn't been detected. He could probably sneak past him wit this group. His only other worry was if Hoseok looked up from his phone, he would instantly spot Jimin leaving. There was no doubt that Hoseok would demand to know where he was going, and completely blow his cover. He just had to pray whatever game it was that had Hoseok occupied was extremely attention demanding.

The group chatted loudly, heading towards the exit. Jimin hovered near them, not so subtlety checking on both Seokjin and Hoseok. 

"Isn't it a little early to leave? I feel like another glass," one of the girls suddenly said, stopping in her tracks.

Oh no.

"Let's stay a little longer!"

Oh fuck.

It didn't take long for the group to start heading straight back to their table, right next to Seokjin's.

Shit. At this rate he was going to be spotted.

He was heading right towards him. Should he go back to hiding behind the counter? He could potentially get back uncover cover and think of another plan. Option number one was still on the table, Jimin considered carefully, thinking about how quickly he could chop off his hair and draw a convincing beard and moustache, and which accent would be the most believable.

"Jimin?"

Maybe he wouldn't get the chance after all.

Seokjin was staring directly at him, wide eyes and blinking quickly. "What are you doing here?"

Thats what I have been wanting to ask you, mother fucker, Jimin thought.

Seokjin titled his head. "Do you work here?"

"Me?" Jimin scratched his head. "Pffft. No way! I'm just here to…. um, I'm just passing by."

Jimin knew his lie sounded like total bullshit. If he was in Seokjin's position, he wouldn't have believed him either. 

"Then why are you wearing a name tag?"

Jimin blinks, trying to come up with a quick explanation. "I was working at, um, some place else before I came here?" He wanted to laugh at how bad he was at lying, knowing how idiotic he must've looked right now.

"The supervisor said that you could go, Jimin. Don't worry, I took care of it." Minji appeared next to him, smiling brightly like she hadn't just exposed Jimin's lie red handed.

Seokjin half smiled, raising an eyebrow directly at Jimin.

Clenching his sweaty fists, Jimin turned to the oblivious co worker. "Thank you, Minji, but that won't be necessary anymore."

Minji's bright smile disappeared. "But you said it was an emergency! And now you've stopped coughing? I thought you said you had asthma?"

Jimin shifted his weight on his feet. Why does he always get himself into situations like this? He's such a terrible liar, yet always lies to get himself out of tough places. It always comes back to bite him in the ass, eventually.

"Don't worry, Jimin's absolutely fine."

Jimin turned his head to Seokjin, who's smile had turned into a knowing smirk.

"It's Minji, right?" He continued, beaming at Jimin's co worker. "My friend here left his inhaler with me this afternoon, so it's incredibly lucky that we bumped into each other this evening." He reached into his jacket and pulled out an inhaler, almost making Jimin's eyes jump out of their sockets. 

Where did he get an inhaler from? Was he really a damn sorcerer like his character?

"Oh! That is very lucky!" Minji giggled, probably infatuated with Seokjin's charm already. Jimin wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

Seokjin chuckles, gently patting Jimin's arm. "Try to be more careful from now on."

And then the fucker winked at Jimin, making him ten times more embarrassed than he already was.

Jimin quickly scurried back to behind the counter, turning away from the man staring at him with amusement. He thought he heard a faint chuckle, most likely coming from Seokjin. He just had to get through another two hours, then he could go outside and hopefully get hit by a bus to end his life long suffering.

"Hey Jimin, did you get my message?" Another voice called out to him. "I told your colleague to let you know I was leaving."

Oh for fuck sake. He forgot about Hoseok. He was too busy pondering about the probability of Seokjin having super powers to remember that his red haired friend was also another problem he had to worry about.

He turned back around to see his friend staring at Seokjin, eyes wide with surprise.

"Kim Seokjin?" He voiced, pointing at him. "What are you doing here?"

Seokjin smiles, lips forming a cute pout as he spoke. "I'm here to buy a limited edition version of Pokemon green from my friend over here." He gestured towards the man sat next to him, looking confusingly at the three men stood up.

Huh. So he's a gamer as well.

Yet another surprising detail about Kim Seokjin.

"You were leaving, weren't you?" Jimin said sweetly, forcing himself to smile at Hoseok.

Seokjin stands up. "Leaving?" He looks disappointed. "Let me buy you a drink."

Jimin's eye twitches. 

"I don't know, I'm not the best drinker," Hoseok half laughs, scratching his neck.

"Oh come on, lets stay and chat!" Seokjin playfully pokes his forehead, like they've known each other for years. "Come on, let's catch up!"

Hoseok looks at Jimin, who sends him a look of say no, god dammit. Hoseok smiles, and turns back to Seokjin.

"Sure! Lets catch up!"

~ 

Hoseok lay his head on the counter, seemingly passed out. He started to dribble and Jimin felt himself sigh heavily.

He knew this would happen.

Hoseok hadn't been lying when he said he isn't the best drinker. Give the guy one drink and he's practically wobbling and slurring immediately. And Seokjin just had to buy him two drinks instead, so obviously, the next step was for the man to collapse.

Jimin's gonna have to be the one to take him home as well, and the man was heavier than he looked.

Seokjin chuckled at the sight of Hoseok dribbling, clutching the glass in his hand. He and Hoseok had sat on the stools in front of the bar, only to further humiliate Jimin. They had been chatting for a while about various topics, such as Hoseok's dance, Seokjin's acting, but went on to talk about plenty of other things Jimin wasn't entirely sure he understood. It seemed that both men shared a very similar sense of humour.

That was until Hoseok finally started sipping on his drink.

"Maybe two drinks was a bit too much for him," Seokjin giggled.

No shit, Jimin wanted to say. He was annoyed at Seokjin. Annoyed because he had caught Jimin trying to escape. Annoyed that he had so easily got him out of trouble with Mini. Annoyed that he and Hoseok decided to stay and keep each other company. Annoyed that they had both ignored Jimin the entire time.

The bar was close to closing, only twenty minutes left, and it was starting to get empty. Jimin wiped a spot on the counter with an old cloth, feeling Seokjin's gaze land on him.

"So," Seokjin started. "What was that about earlier?"

Jimin paused. "You mean the asthma thing?"

Seokjin nodded.

Jimin opened his mouth and closed it, unsure what to say. He was hoping Seokjin wouldn't bring it up. But of course he would.

"Why didn't you want me to know you worked here?" He sounded concerned, and not at all humorous.

"I guess I just… panicked?" Jimin squeaked, feeling incredibly small.

Seokjin hummed, sipping his drink. "You seem to panic a lot." He placed the drink back down. "Do I make you nervous?"

Jimin wanted him to stop asking these questions. They made him feel even worse about himself than he already did. It was bad enough thinking these things daily, but when Kim Seokjin was the one questioning him, it somehow made them all feel a lot more aching.

"Sorry, I'm probably making you feel uncomfortable right now. Even me just being here, I can understand why you would get worked up over it." Seokjin turned his head, looking away. "I'll leave if you want."

He begins to stand up.

"Wait," Jimin says before he can stop himself. Seokjin halts, looking at him. "It's not your fault. I just… don't know how to act around you. You're Kim Seokjin. And I'm Park Jimin. Don't you see how weird it is for us to be talking? For us to even know each other?"

Jimin could still see the distance between them, the invisible line drawn between the two. Both worlds apart, both far away from each other, never supposed to clash. Wasn't all this weird to Seokjin like it was weird to Jimin?

Seokjin frowns slightly. "I don't know if I understand what you're saying. Yes, I'm Kim Seokjin, and you're Park Jimin. What does that have to do with anything?" Seokjin leans forward and stares straight into Jimin eyes. "Act as yourself around me. Your true self."

Does Seokjin really see them on equal grounding? Jimin almost laughed at the thought, that someone with the pure talent and experience as Seokjin thinking that Jimin deserved to be seen as an equal. But it makes his blood start pumping and prickling under his skin.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," Jimin says quietly. "Like I said, sometimes I panic and over think things and the first thing that came to my mind was to deny everything and lie straight to your face, so for that I'm sorry. I really made myself look like an idiot, yet again."

Seokjin huffs out a laugh, not seeming bothered by it at all. He leans his head in the palm of his hand, "You know, I'm starting to think lying is contagious. One lie leads to another, then another, and before you know it, theres an epidemic on our hands."

Jimin nods his head, understanding his words fully. Seokjin somehow always managed to have the right words and summed up Jimin's problem completely. 

"You even made me lie tonight as well," Seokjin tutted, shaking his head in disapproval. "If it weren't for me your colleague would've caught your lie red handed. Luckily, I was there to save the day. I guess you could call me prince charming."

Jimin groaned as the older man winked at him. He was a lot more similar the Jungkook than Jimin had realised, not sure if that was a good or bad thing yet.

"Why do you even have an inhaler on you anyway?" Jimin asks, a small smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth. "I was beginning to consider the idea of you being a real life sorcerer."

That seemed to please Seokjin, as his face displayed a full blown grin in response, practically setting Jimin on fire. "I used to have really bad asthma as a child." He pulls the inhaler out of his pocket and places it on the counter. "It's a lot better than it used to be but I still need it occasionally."

The images of Seokjin as a child, playing with his inhaler just as Seokjin was doing right now coated Jimin's mind sweetly. 

What Seokjin says next almost knocks the wind out of his body.

"I don't like lying to people, under any circumstance. So I expect some sort of payment for saving your ass back there. Come with me to a party tomorrow."

Jimin isn't sure if Seokjin is joking or not. He is staring at Jimin playfully, but his tone is suggesting otherwise.

"A party?" He exclaims, looking hesitant.

"Well, it's kind of a party, but its being thrown by theatre majors, so it probably isn't like the frat parties you might expect. I personally consider it more of a social gathering," He explains. "Usually only theatre majors are allowed, but I doubt they'd say no to me."

His utter confidence almost made Jimin smile, like he knew that he could his way no matter what. Jimin envied him a little.

But this so called social gathering still didn't seem too appealing to Jimin. Being stuck in a house filled with people who he despised the most didn't sound like the ideal Saturday night to him, especially when he could spend it cuddled up on the couch watching reruns of bobs burgers instead.

"I'm sure you'd enjoy it. The people there aren't snobby. They're pretty cool and chill, and Taehyung will be there too."

Jimin looked up at the mention of Taehyung, who had had grown a liking to recently. As far as theatre students go, Kim Taehyung wasn't terrible. In fact, he was actually pretty cool, and quite a nice guy. He usually hung out with some of the douchers that Jimin heavily disliked, but Jimin got the sense that he's mostly a lone wolf, despite his rising fame and popularity on campus. Kind of like himself.

Jimin rolls his sleeves up carefully and leaned both arms onto the counter. Seokjin was looking at him with those bright eyes again, the golden hues bright and expectant. He was weighing out the pros and cons in his mind, the pros being a hopefully fun night out, free drinks, and the company of Seokjin and Taehyung, whom he had grown a liking to recently. The cons being a party full of strangers who would no doubt be wondering why a nobody like him was there, and with Kim Seokjin of all people.

He doesn't get the chance to start over analysing things like he usually does, as his mind goes blank when he looks into Seokjin's eyes. They're warm, and asking him to come. 

Why is Jimin such a sucker for warm eyes? They will be the death of him some day.

"I have one condition," Jimin whispers without thinking.

Seokjin's eyes light up, sitting himself properly in his chair. "I'm listening?"

"Hoseok has to come too," Jimin says. He looks directly at the sleeping man, still drooling everywhere and completely intoxicated. He didn't want to be in a place full of snobs alone. At least with Hoseok there, he might have a semi fun time. The man always managed to make the most boring and mundane events lively.

Seokjin hums, the smile on his face only growing deeper. "Alright. It's settled then. You and Hoseok will join me tomorrow."

A nervous feeling has spread from Jimin's fingertips to his chest, but he wasn't sure if it was from pure excitement or from a panic he was all too familiar with.

~

"Keep moving you oaf!" 

Jimin attempted to heave Hoseok towards their apartment whilst simultaneously trying to find his keys in his pocket. He was expecting some seriously good karma for dragging Hoseok's heavy and half unconscious body from the bar to his place, and an endless supply of fried chicken from the man leaning on his shoulder.

Luckily, Seokjin helped half the way.

Unluckily, Seokjin was equally just as weak as Jimin. So both men struggled pulling the red haired man along.

Seokjin had found the whole ordeal rather amusing, laughing the entire way. Jimin on the other hand, being the one Hoseok continued to drool on, didn't find it quite as amusing. But Seokjin's squeaky laughter did cause a smile to stretch onto his lips.

He had offered to help bring him the whole way, but Jimin quickly refused his help, not wanting to come across as completely incompetent to his hyung. Seokjin had insisted a couple times but Jimin wouldn't let him, putting his foot down in the matter. Both physically and verbally.

Part of the reason why Jimin hadn't wanted Seokjin to help was a feeling of embarrassment. He was sure Seokjin probably lived in some incredibly posh and fancy apartment, and Jimin wasn't keen on the idea of Seokjin witnessing their rather unimpressive and lacklustre apartment in comparison.

After Seokjin eventually left them, whilst still insisting to help the whole way - considering he was the one responsible for Hoseok's current state - Jimin somehow managed to single handedly carry Hoseok back to his place. He knew that Hoseok wouldn't be in any right state of mind to travel back to his own apartment in his condition, and probably wouldn't even be able to get the key in the lock. Jimin truly was the best friend any one could ask for, especially after Hoseok nearly vomited all over him only minutes ago. 

After Jimin eventually got the door open, he pulled the man into the building without caring much for his injuries. He spotted Jungkook sat on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate, staring at them with confusion as Jimin dumped Hoseok onto the carpet.

Jungkook sighed. "Drinking?"

"You guessed it."

The boy chuckled, quickly getting himself off the couch and helping Jimin place him comfortably where he had previously been sat.

Hoseok immediately fell asleep, soon followed by a soft snoring and continued dribbling. Jimin was going to make him clean the whole damn place in the morning as punishment, and maybe throw in a nice massage as payment as well. His back was certainly killing him, it could do with a little love and care.

"How many drinks?" Jungkook nudged jimin's shoulder with his own, earning a wince from the shorter man.

"Two."

"Christ. Should've made him stop at one."

The way Jungkook is looking at Hoseok with his cute bunny grin reminded Jimin how much he missed seeing him around the past week. It put hi at ease for once.

Jimin took a deep breath, remembering the texts he had received from him earlier. They needed to talk, and Jimin had completely forgotten. Kim Seokjin had once again distracted him, making all other worries and priorities in his mind fly completely out the window.

"Jungkook." Jimin's voice changed. He noticed Jungkook's shoulders tense up automatically. "We need to talk."

"Yeah," He responds, going to sit on the very edge of the couch, trying his best not to disturb the sleeping Hoseok right next to him.

Jimin stood in front of him, gathering his thoughts. Should he speak first? He was eager to get an apology from Jungkook, and also an explanation now that he was thinking about it, but now that they are both here, it feels incredibly awkward, with neither one of them taking the initiative to talk first.

Jimin straightens his back, clearing his throat. "So, Jungk-"

"I'm sorry, hyung."

Jimin's eyes open wide. He partly expected a bit more of a struggle before Jungkook apologised so directly; maybe a little more arguing and some snarky comments beforehand. That was what Jungkook was like. He always had a great difficulty apologising.

"Look, I know I acted like a complete dick to you, I know I was out of order, and you had every right to bee pissed off, but I never thought you would actually get hurt by what I said," He continues when Jimin remains silent. "If I had known, I wouldn't have said anything."

All of a sudden, Jimin feels his walls go up again. He tries telling himself that Jungkook is just trying to explain everything and clearly wasn't aware of how hurtful his words and actions were, but it didn't help.

"But why didn't you know?" 

Jungkook looks up at him, surprised.

"Why didn't you know how it would make me feel if you've done this to me on countless occasions? You always belittle me, Jungkook, and this wasn't the first time you've done this," Jimin raises his voice a little. "Why didn't you learn after every other time that isn't how you're supposed to treat your friends? I hate it when you look down on me, and call me names, and embarrass me on purpose. I hate it so fucking much, but you still do it. It's not funny. It was never funny. I have never done that to you, so the least I expect from you is for you to treat me the same."

Jungkook's expression makes him look like Jimin had just slapped him the the face. "If you really hated it that much, then why did you never tell me?" He stands up, quick to defend himself. "How the hell was I supposed to know that if you don't ever tell me?"

Jimin feels his ears grow hot rapidly, blood pumping from the argument. He felt like his voice would start wobbling soon, as it usually did whenever he faced confrontation. He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout at everyone and everything. God, why did he have to be so useless.

"I didn't want to upset you," He says quietly, trying to mask the quiver in his voice.

The look on Jungkook's face softened when he heard his voice.

"You've had so many problems in the past, kook." Jimin pushes his hair out of his face, giving himself a chance to cool down. "You have suffered so much, and you would always take out your pent up frustration on me."

Jimin pictures it all in his head; the time his parents split up. When his grandparents died. When his older brother had told Jungkook he didn't ever want to see him again, and left him for good. When his family got kicked out of their home and had to come stay with Jimin for a while. When he was bullied in school and hadn't told anyone about it, not even Jimin. When he had confessed his love for a senior when he was only sixteen, and then got brutally beaten by him and his friends. And most recently, his classmates at college also picking on him, just like in high school.

Each of these events Jimin had witnessed, and every single time, Jungkook chose him to be his personal punching bag.

"You were hurting so badly, I didn't want to say anything," Jimin continued. "I always thought that maybe next time, you'd learn. Maybe next time, you would've been mature enough to handle things differently, but you never did. And I'm tired of always having to be the one to pick up the pieces."

Jungkook sits back down, going completely silent. A look of guilt, hurt and confusion washes over his face. "I never meant to hurt you. Fuck, why didn't I see it sooner? I'm such a fucking shitty person. I'm so sorry, Jimin."

He was sounding desperate to Jimin, desperate for this to be over and desperate for him to forgive him, so they could go back to being themselves again. It wasn't fair. There was so much Jimin still wanted to say, about the argument with Seokjin, about why he had such a grudge in the first place.

"You can't do this, Jungkook," Jimin says, receiving a confused look. "You can't do this anymore; doing shitty things to me to make yourself feel better when bad things happen. And feeling bad about yourself doesn't make it better either. You need to change."

He nods weakly, looking like he's given up trying to argue back. "You're right. You're absolutely right. How can I make this up to you?"

Thankfully for Jungkook, Jimin wasn't a malicious person, and wasn't expecting much. If this were Hoseok he were dealing with, the evil dancer would dare him to run around campus butt naked, or something similar. Jimin had something else in mind.

He couldn't help but already feel forgiving, especially since he has such a big soft spot for the boy. Sure, he was a total ass and deserved to feel guilty, but Jimin just didn't have the heart to hold onto that kind of grudge.

He didn't want this to ruin their friendship The Busan boys had a much stronger friendship than that.

"First, I want you to apologise to Seokjin as well. He deserves an apology just as much as I do," Jimin starts.

"What?! You've got to be kidding me," Jungkook rages, crossing his arms across his chest. "He argued with me as well, remember? He's just as responsible as I am, you know."

"Stop trying to take the blame off of yourself. Secondly, you will buy me all the food I want for a month."

Jungkook curses under his breath.

"Thirdly and finally…" Jimin leans down so he is at eye level with Jungkook, and smirks. "Tell me all about the little crush you've been trying to keep secret."

That was the final blow for Jungkook. He let out a loud whine whilst Jimin cackled, face going bright red.

There was no getting out of this one, unfortunately.

~

It was becoming a nasty habit for Seokjin to check his phone these days. He used to be fantastic at keeping his concentration and attention where it needed to be, phones and other distractions were used very little as they would potentially break that well trained concentration.

But it seemed as if he had easily fallen into this extremely annoying habit of spending far too much time on his phone. 

And it was all Park Jimin's fault.

It had been nearly two hours since the party started, and Jimin was no where to be seen. Seokjin was wondering if this was a regular thing for the dancer, or if it only happened when Seokjin was the person he was meeting.

"What's with the scowl?" His roommate not so subtly pointed out. "Careful, or you'll get frown lines."

"Go bother someone else for a change," Seokjin sighs. He was tired and frustrated, and Yoongi was certainly not going to help change that anytime soon.

The man took a long sip out go his cup, wincing at disgust of the flavourless cheap beer. Seokjin didn't understand why he had agreed to come in the first place. Yoongi was, to put it frankly, a party snob. Nothing ever appealed to his high standards, and he always had something to complain about when he was there. The exact opposite of Seokjin, who loved being at any sort of social event.

Yoongi only huffs in return, placing the half abandoned cup on some shelf behind him. "Someone's in a bad mood today."

"Why are you here again? You hate parties," Seokjin skilfully turns the conversation away from him, not wanting Yoongi to know he was once again fussing over the same Park Jimin who left him waiting for a text back that one time.

"I was originally here for the free drinks, but they taste like piss," he sticks his tongue out. "Seriously, why can't people ever buy good beer for once? Everyone has shit taste these days."

"It's 'cause it's from that special brand, dumbass," Seokjin sighs again. "This is what rich kids buy to look cooler."

"Yeah, well, it still tastes shit. I bet my literal piss tastes better than this crap."

He decides to look away from the smaller man, paying attention to the atmosphere. It was certainly more chill than the average party. Everyone in this room alone were in deep conversation, there was no screaming, no wildly drunk sorority girls rapping along to Nicki Minaj, just a delightful glowing hum in the background. This was definitely more appealing than every other party he's been to in the past.

But despite the great atmosphere and the ideal company, Seokjin still felt foul, and it was clear that not only Yoongi could notice it, since the majority of people at the party were avoiding him the minute they caught a look at his expression.

Jimin had made it very unclear when he and his excitable friend would show up, suggesting sometime just before midnight.

Seokjin checked his watch. It was 11:21.

He couldn't help but feel irritated. As someone who'd grown up on strict rules and punctuality, it irked him when others couldn't show the same amount of care that he always did.

Or maybe it was just because it was Jimin.

He enjoyed Jimin's company, with his easily impressible eyes and small smiles and surprised expressions. It was nice being around someone different. Someone who felt completely real and genuine.

"Hyung!"

Seokjin turned his attention to Taehyung politely pushing through a crowd of actors. 

He grins as Taehyung approaches him. At least he can have some company that isn't completely depressing, unlike his so called best friends presence. "Where have you been? You disappeared, like, an hour ago."

"Sorry," the younger actor smiled apologetically. "Woobin wouldn't let me leave him."

Seokjin rolled his eyes at the mention of Taehyung's roommate. "He's such an asshole, Taehyung. He only likes you for your popularity. You need to move out and find someone else."

Taehyung sighs and nods. "I know, but I'd feel bad if I just ditched him like that. He really helped me out when I first started acting." He leans against the wall next to Yoongi and Seokjin.

Seokjin has seen Taehyung's transformation from his early training as an actor to where he is now, and how much he has improved in such a small amount of time. He got a lot of help back then, and Seokjin can understand his feelings of loyalty, even if Woobin was the anti christ in human form.

"Listen, Tae." He places one hand on his shoulder. "For once in your life, you need to be selfish. How do you think I got this far? I had to leave some people behind, cut some ties, whatever you want to call it. This is a tough business, and theres no such thing as loyalty in it. It's survival of the fittest." He pats his shoulder gently. "Besides, the guy is a complete tool. You shouldn't feel bad about leaving him behind to rot. I'm sure he'd do the same thing to you."

Taehyung nods again, looking down at his shoes. He looked like a small puppy who had just been scolded.

"He's not wrong, kid." Yoongi pipes in. "Although, if hyung ever decided to leave me in the dirt, I'd kick his ass."

Seokjin chuckles, looking to his left at Yoongi. "I might've considered it a few times." He winked at Yoongi, earning a groan and a kick to the shin.

"Seokjin?"

All three men paused their conversation to place their attention on the woman in front of them. Cha Yoojung. One of the top acting majors at their college, almost rivalling Seokjin's popularity. She was incredibly wealthy, and strikingly beautiful. She was also the host of this party, only inviting the most known and respected students from a number of colleges. Everyone around here wanted an invite, and it was almost impossible to get one, unless you were talented, wealthy, popular or attractive. 

Seokjin sent her his best dazzling smile, making sure she knew how grateful he was to have been invited to this event. As expected, she smiled back with her equally stunning grin, showing off her pearl white and completely straight teeth. It was a little flirty and suggestive, but Seokjin enjoyed it, sending a similar signal back.

"Yoojung! How are you?" Seokjin politely hugged her. "How's your production of Macbeth going?"

Even though Serendipity was without a doubt the most anticipated show to come from the drama students this year, there were others that were gaining a lot of attention as well, like Yoojung's Macbeth, which was to be gender swapped and set in a modern day setting.

"It's going wonderful! The cast are a delight to work with, I could've have asked for a better team," she beamed, sounding excited for her show.

Yoojung had a lot of rumours about her, just like Seokjin, and many people saw her as a rude and bitchy type of student, but Seokjin admired her. She was a lot like him in many ways, and he respected her a lot. They had a friendly relationship, and had slept together a few times in the past, but nothing beyond that. They both knew where they stood and it was exactly the type of relationship they had both wanted. No strings attached.

"Well, make sure to reserve a seat for me. Front row, of course," he laughed. "You'll be sure to see me cheering you on."

She scoffs, smirking at him. "Oh please, we all know your show is going to be far superior. Everyone can't seem to stop talking about it! It's going to be mind blowing, I'm sure of it." she slapped his shoulder playfully.

Yoongi huffed in agreement next to Seokjin, clearly liking the indirect praise to the show he had contributed so much to.

"Oh, and by the way," she started, carefully stroking the area that she had just slapped. "There was a commotion outside earlier."

Seokjin frowns slightly. It wasn't uncommon for people to try and sneak in to one of her parties. It almost became a type of challenge for some students. "What happened?"

"I'm not too sure." She moved a piece of hair out of her face. "Security called me and said there were two men on the door demanding to be let in. According to them, they were invited by you, but I had never heard of them before, nor have I seen you around them."

It couldn't be Jimin and Hoseok, could it?

No, It couldn't, Seokjin thought to himself. He had told Yoojung directly that he would be bringing two guest with him. Yoongi and Taehyung were already on the guest list, so there's no chance of them being mistaken as his plus twos.

Seokjin stays standing for a moment, realising that he had never told Yoojung who it was he was bringing with him.

Oh God. There was no mistake about it. It couldn't really be anyone else. How long had they been waiting out there?

He immediately stormed past Yoojung, trying to navigate himself through this large house to the door, all whilst trying to think of a suitable apology to the two males, who were more than likely feeling rather pissed off. Who know's if they were even still there?

He got to the front door and opened it, seeing a small crowd of people waiting to enter, and presumably try and sneak past the guard.

"I told you already, I'm on the damn list!"

"I'm sorry sir, but you will need to step back, or else we'll have to call the police."

"Let's just get out of here, Hoseok. He just said they'll call the police if we don't leave. It isn't worth it."

"Screw that, I was invited here personally by Kim Seokjin himself! I have every right to be here, and so do you."

Seokjin watched as the angry red head and considerably less angry blonde argue with the second guard.

It was certainly a sight to see.

Seokjin shook himself out of his amused expression and realised he had actually just stood there and watched them like a creep. He needed a god damn drink, but Yoongi was actually right for once, the beer sucked.

He marched towards the commotion, waving his hand to gain their attention.

"Excuse me," He coughed. Jimin looked over at him immediately, recognising his voice. "Actually, these two are with me. There's been a mistake, and I'm the one to blame for that. I'm sorry for the inconvenience," he bowed his head to the guard in apology, like his parents had always taught him to do.

"I see," he bowed back to Seokjin. "Well then, you can go in. But you," he pointed at Hoseok. "Don't cause any trouble."

Hoseok stuck his tongue out at him childishly whilst being dragged into the house quite harshly by Jimin.

Once they were inside, all three collectively took a deep breath. Seokjin looked at Jimin, feeling guilt in his stomach. He forgot they weren't well known in the inner circle of campus. He wasn't used to going to extreme lengths to get guests into parties, or for getting dancers to choreograph in his shows, for that matter. He was used to everything being easy. 

A part of him kind of liked it difficult.

"How long were you out there?" Seokjin gulped. 

"Oh, it wasn't that long-"

"A whole hour, can you believe it?!" Hoseok exclaimed, gaining a nudge in the ribcage by his best friend.

"It's fine, really," Jimin laughed, no humour evident in his voice.

Seokjin's smile wavers and his eyes narrow, but he remains silent.

"Woah, this place is huge!"

Jimin's eyes are partially budging out of his eye sockets, taking in the entire entrance, the chandelier, and spiralling staircase. Seokjin smirked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He found it cute.

"I'll show you around," Seokjin says, grabbing Jimin's hand and starting to pull him away. "Oh, and Hoseok?" He stops quickly to face the man, pointing at him strictly. "No drinking for you."

"What?" Hoseok pouts, looking disappointed. 

"I mean it," Seokjin uses his stern, but still friendly voice. "Do you know how much Jimin struggled to look after you yesterday? I don't need you making his life any harder than it already is. I'm actually surprised you aren't hung over right now." Seokjin spots Taehyung in the corner of his eye. "Taehyung!"

The boy immediately runs over, grinning brightly when he spots Jimin. "Hey Jimin! I didn't know you would be here!"

Jimin shyly waves as him, masking Taehyung's delighted expression.

Seokjin leans forward. "Look after Hoseok, will you? He's a bit of a light weight and it's best if he stays clear of anything related to alcohol tonight."

"Why can't you look after him?" Taehyung's focus zooms into on Seokjin's hand in Jimin's.

"I'm already a little preoccupied with this one instead," He says, nudging Jimin's shoulder. "Just please keep an eye on him? I recon you and Hoseok would get along like a house on fire."

Seokjin feels Jimin's cold hand squeeze his, as if he's trying to show his appreciation for his concern. Seokjin looks directly at Jimin, and squeezes back. He'd forgotten they were holding hands, and feels something strange growing in his stomach.

"Alright, but you owe me," Taehyung winks. Seokjin taught him well.

He ruffles Taehyung's fluffy hair affectionately. "Love you lots, Taehyung!" And starts pulling Jimin into a different room, ready to start showing him around the large mansion.

~

As he was no sure stranger to this place, Seokjin showed Jimin around with confidence, just as he did when they were in the theatre together.

Having hooked up with Yoojung quite a lot of times in the past, and been invited to every single one of her events, he had seen more than enough of the rooms in this palace like building. A part of him felt the need to share it with Jimin, to show him around and introduce him to people with confidence, just like he did back in the theatre.

However, this time Seokjin didn't get the feeling that Jimin was enjoying this experience. 

Every new person Seokjin introduced him to, it felt like Jimin was getting less and less talkative, shying behind Seokjin's broad shoulders.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from the famous Kim Seokjin!" Woobin laughed rather loudly into Seokjin's ear, making him step back. He wasn't sure how he got himself into a conversation with this pretentious douche, but Woobin was making it incredibly difficult for him to leave. He had cornered Seokjin and Jimin out of no where, and Seokjin knew it was rude to just leave like that. "You have such a honoured reputation for a reason."

Seokjin hated others sucking up to him, trying to snake their way into his life. It was written all over Woobin's face and dripped from his voice. Seokjin knew the guy secretly despised him, since Seokjin always got the lead roles and the most attention from the audience and the public, with people like Woobin remaining in second place. It was almost laughable how fake he was acting in front of him.

Jimin stood awkwardly next to him, tapping his fingers together with boredom. Seokjin felt bad for dragging him into all these conversations. It was obvious this was way out of his comfort zone. He had only come here because Seokjin had asked him to, and was probably regretting to come right about now.

"Well, if you excuse me, Woobin, I have somewhere-"

"And I heard you and your crew made the bold decision to add choreography to your performance? Is that true?"

Seokjin could see Jimin tense up in the corner of his eye. He didn't like where this was going.

"Yes, you're correct," he smiles at Woobin. "We have hired a fantastic choreographer to join us and make our show even more phenomenal." He caught Jimin's hard smile, looking down at the ground, and felt an inner victory.

Woobin glanced at Jimin. "And who may the choreographer be? I expect it to be one of the finest dancers at our college. Nothing less than perfect for Kim Seokjin," His eyes gleamed.

Seokjin hadn't known Jimin for that long. In fact, he barely knew that man at all, having only met him a couple times and spoken briefly. They were still practically strangers in many ways. But Seokjin had gathered enough from Jimin's actions, and from the few small occasions that he'd seen him, to know Jimin wears his emotions on his sleeve. That anything someone might say about him, no matter how small, means a great deal to him, and he'll think about it for hours and hours and hours upon end.

"Would it be Kwon Soonyoung? He is truly a master at his art, isn't he? Or perhaps, Myoui Mina? Her ballet is exquisite, and certainly one of the best dancers I've ever seen," Woobin continues. Seokjin ignores his rambling, focusing on Jimin. He hadn't said a word, standing quietly, as still as a stone.

"Actually," Seokjin started. He stared back at Woobin, making a mental note to punch this guy in the face someday. "Our choreographer is Park Jimin."

Jimin grabs his arm, staring at him nervously. Seokjin felt a little guilty for outing him out of no where, but covered it up with a smile. He didn't feel ashamed of Jimin, and wanted to proudly present Jimin to the world as his very own, hand picked choreographer.

Woobin raised an eyebrow. "Who's that? I've never heard of them."

"He's standing right next to me," Seokjin responded, faking his smile especially hardly in that moment. "I introduced you to him only ten minutes ago, remember?"

Woobin looked as if he was holding back a smirk. "Oh yeah! My apologises." He turned to Jimin. "It's nice to meet you, Jimmy."

Jimin nodded his head, remaining silent. Seokjin sighed. He wished Jimin had more confidence to stand up for himself, like he did when Seokjin first asked him to join their show.

"It's Jimin."

Hold that thought. 

"Huh?" Woobin had the same expression as Seokjin, having not expected him to speak.

"It's Jimin. Not exactly an uncommon name."

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Jimin looked like an unamused little cat, sneering up at Woobin, ready to pounce. Seokjin fights the urge to snicker. Woobin must be feeling the same sense of surprise as Seokjin did when Jimin first snapped at him. It made Seokjin feel triumphant.

"I see," Woobin says, glaring down at Jimin. "Forgive me for not knowing who you are. I'm just a little shocked! I had expected Seokjin present a more… recognised dancer instead."

"What does that mean?" Seokjin quickly comes to Jimin's defence.

"No offence to you, Jimin, but we were all expecting someone from the top of the class, someone who has made a name for themselves. After all, those are who Seokjin usually goes for. Not somebody nobody knows. Well done for taking such a huge risk!"

Seokjin had had enough of this. "Well, everyone will know him after this."

He held onto Jimin's wrist and pulled him away once again, feeling all too familiar. Jimin let him direct him far away from Woobin and his crowd without any protest.

They ended up in one of the many private guest rooms, that weren't currently being used for a particular purpose. All parties are the same in the end, Seokjin sighs whilst thinking to himself.

He glanced over his shoulder to Jimin, who had sat on the large queen sized bed. His shoulders looked a little heavier, and his head a little lower and completely lacking in self esteem.

It had started to rain outside, as the only thing he could hear beside the music from downstairs was the faint tapping on raindrops onto the bedroom windows.

Seokjin lets out a long breath, leaning against the door. He didn't feel like sitting next to Jimin, having practically been the reason for his probable embarrassment right about now. He had wanted Jimin to have fun tonight, to have fun with Seokjin for once, instead of constantly feeling like he had to keep his guard up. 

Seokjin was an idiot.

He hates knowing that he caused all this, that Jimin could've been anywhere else right now, feeling far better than he did right here with Seokjin.

And oddly enough, he felt the need to shield Jimin. All his life, he had been taught to fend for himself, that anyone who couldn't keep up weren't worth his time, and to only focus on himself. He had been trying to hard to grow out of that state of mind, especially since he met people like Yoongi, Namjoon, and most recently, Taehyung. These were all people he didn't want to close himself off to, and to help.

But with Jimin, it came to easily to him.

"Jin hyung?"

Seokjin jumps slightly at the sound of his voice, having grown used to the silence in the room. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

He tilts his head, wondering why Jimin was worrying about him when he had just been the target of Woobin's words. "I'm fine."

"It's just weird, not hearing you talking so much, you know? I'm not sure I like it when you're quiet."

Seokjin chuckles to himself, and finally builds up the courage to sit next to Jimin. "I'll make sure to keep talking your ear off then, Jiminie." He shifts a little closer, bumping shoulders with the blonde. "How about you?"

Jimin looks up finally. "I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know."

Seokjin smirks. "Do you know how to say anything other than I don't know."

Jimin looks at him, suppressing a smile. "Jerk."

Seokjin laughs out loud, joined by Jimin's subtle giggles. It felt much lighter now that the tension has been shattered, replaced with the much lighter, pink shaded atmosphere they felt often around each other.

"Let's talk about something else then. Better yet, lets play a game." Seokjin turns to face Jimin completely, crossing his legs.

Jimin raises an eyebrow amusingly. "A game? Like what?"

Seokjin thinks to himself. "Let's play…. two truths one lie."

Jimin groans, leaning back on the bed fully. "That's the most predictable game ever. Couldn't you think of anything original?"

"Would you rather play charades? I'm rather good at it," He teases playfully, whilst Jimin shakes his head. "Now come on, think of three things. You go first."

"Why me?!"

"Because you're the youngest."

Jimin muttered a few curses under his breath about wishing he had hyung privileges like him, making Seokjin want to burst out laughing again. He watches the man's face, giving him time to think, his profile illuminated by the dim lit light coming from the lamp next to the bed. His eyes slowly shut, making Seokjin think for a second he's fallen asleep. He looks like something from a fairy tale, completely ethereal and untouchable, something to be admired from a distance. Seokjin lets himself wonder what Jimin would look like performing on a stage in front of thousands, sweat dripping from his body as he gave his everything into his dance. He couldn't help but think he probably looked beautiful.

Eventually, his eyes opened again, and he sat mirroring Seokjin. "Okay. I'm ready."

Seokjin beamed. "Hit me with your best shot, Park Jimin. I'm a fantastic lie detector."

Jimin smiled back, shaking his head. "Wait, is there gonna be a prize or something? For the winner?"

"Hm? Sure." He liked the idea of a prize, being a bit of a competitive person. "Whoever loses, has to do anything that the winner wants. Within reason, of course. I won't be killing anyone for you."

Jimin's face lights up, liking the sound of that. "What if neither of us loses?"

"Then we'll both have to do something for the other."

The atmosphere had suddenly shifted again once Seokjin had whispered those words. It felt strangely intimate all of a sudden. Could Jimin feel it as well?

Before Seokjin could react, Jimin spoke quickly. "I don't have my driving licence. I failed my exam when I nearly crashed into an old lady crossing the road. The memory still haunts me to this day."

Seokjin bit his tongue, holding back the giggle ready to erupt. But he couldn't hold it back. "I'm sorry, keep going."

Jimin's face looked a little pink, but it could've just been from the lighting. "I really can't stand dogs. I had one as a kid and it nearly killed me. Needless to say, I try to stay away from them as much as possible."

"Interesting. And lastly?" Seokjin said.

Jimin paused. "I haven't been in a proper relationship in almost three years. I'm not the most outgoing guy, and dating hasn't been my top priority recently. I've been trying to focus more on myself."

Seokjin nods, thinking about all three statements Jimin had shared with him. His lips twist down, looking at Jimin directly, remembering each of the words he used, and his tone whilst he spoke.

"I think I've got it," Seokjin says proudly. "I'll start with your first statement. No driving licence, failing an exam, nearly killing an innocent civilian?"

Jimin shrugs. "What can I say? I panicked again."

"Okay, you've convinced me. Thats the truth." Seokjin can picture Jimin behind the wheel, hands shaking and eyes twitching. The mental image was a little funny. "Have you tried retaking it?"

"No way," Jimin says. "Driving and me is a cause for concern. Keep me away from all vehicles and you might live."

His fingers curl up, inspecting Jimin. He was glad the man opposite him seemed to talk almost fondly of the memory, and was able to laugh about it freely. Seokjin knew enough people who didn't pass their driving test, forever shamed from their pure humiliation.

"Okay, next. Your statement on dogs? I don't buy it."

"Why is that?" Jimin smiles.

"Because yesterday at the bar, as we starting dragging Hoseok out into the street, I saw you glance at a puppy that passed us, and you were practically beaming at it." Seokjin leans his head on his wrist.

As Hoseok was being hauled outside of the bar, tae away from the warmth of the cozy bar, Seokjin himself had been gazing adoringly at a small puppy the was walking straight past them. He couldn't help but notice Jimin's similar expression.

"I know a dog lover when I see one. You can't fool me, Park Jimin."

Jimin hangs his head, scratching his neck. "I didn't realise you pay that much attention to me."

Just as Jimin speaks, Seokjin's eyes narrow down onto the spot on Jimin's neck that he started scratching with his nails. 

"Hyung?"

Seokjin snaps out of it instantly. Maybe that was a little embarrassing. He needs to get laid soon, that must be why he's been acting weird recently. Yoongi had pointed it out to him last night. Maybe he could talk to Yoojung later, he was sure she'd be interested.

"So, you haven't dated in three years, huh?" He quickly changes the subject. Hopefully Jimin hadn't noticed the way Seokjin had blatantly been ogling his neck. Was that weird? Jimin just happened to have a rather nice neck. Surely it was normal.

"Um, yeah," Jimin starts acting all shy again. "It's sort of embarrassing, really. But I haven't really been interested in anyone, plus I'm too busy with my classes and stuff, um."

His soft rambling was completely endearing to Seokjin, who was unknowingly staring at him with adoration.

"Is that weird?" Jimin asks. "I get my friends teasing me about it sometimes, so should I consider it weird?"

Seokjin sighs. He couldn't help but wonder if it was Jungkook who had been the one not so kindly teasing him. It wouldn't be a surprise. "Its not weird at all, Jimin. Trust me, theres a lot of weird and wonderful things about you, but that's definitely not one of them."

He seems to like that answer, as yet another smile appears on his face. If it was possible, he looked even more like the belongings of a fairy tale book.

"You got it all right. Damn, you are good at this," he said in defeat. "It's your go now."

The corner of Seokjin's mouth quirks up, letting his mind relax as he decides what to share with his friend.

He paused momentarily. Should he cheat? A part of him wants to test Jimin, see if he can see through Seokjin's lies or not.

"I'm scared of almost everything," he says, hesitantly. "Any little bugs, noises, bumps, jumps, you name it, I'm terrified. I can't handle jump scares, which is why I hate horror movies. I like to come across as brave, but in reality I'm a huge scaredy cat."

Jimin nods, smiling knowingly. "Okay, what else?"

He clears his throat, thinking through his next statement. "As a child, I hated theatre. I couldn't stand costumes and make up and pretending to be someone else. I once went to see a school play and I hated it so much I puked."

Jimin looked surprised but unconvinced by Seokjin's words.

"And lastly," Seokjin glances back at Jimin. "I'm an only child."

"That's it?"

Seokjin nods. "Pretty self explanatory."

Jimin hums quietly. He starts rocking back and fourth as he thinks, looking quiet playful and child like. 

Seokjin is eager to hear his verdict, whether he will see through him instantly. He couldn't help but be a little bit harsh on Jimin with his answers, but he wanted to know if he was believable. If unlike everyone else, someone like Jimin could see fact from fiction, with his twinkling eyes that seem to see all of Seokjin.

Jimin snaps his fingers. "I've figured you out."

Seokjin holds his breath.

"You could never hate theatre, I just know it. Someone like you has lived and breathed it you whole life, and you absolutely adore it." Jimin sounds confident, but his expression is uncertain, unsure if he is correct.

He decides to give him the benefit of the doubt, holding his hands up in defeat. "You got me. I'm an open book."

Jimin cheers, clenching his fist in utter victory, unaware of the change of expression on Seokjin's face.

I guess everyones the same in the end, he thinks.

~

Jimin stands in the corner of the room as the growing awkwardness and anxiety he had felt earlier returns to his fingertips. After their game of two truths one lie, they had left the room after another couple stumbled in, clearly needing the bedroom more than Jimin and Seokjin did.

Except, Seokjin was acting differently now. He was stood talking to a girl across the room, laughing loudly as she whispered something into his ear. Jimin didn't want to describe how he was feeling as jealousy, but it was something similar to that.

After all, why would he feel jealous over Seokjin? They barely knew each other. Even though they had just spent wha felt like hours together in that room, laughing and talking, enjoying each others company. Jimin hadn't said it at the time, but that was exactly what he needed right then. To be alone.

Seokjin hadn't been lying when he told Jimin this wasn't a wild party. It was fairly tame, with everyone in deep conversation instead of throwing themselves all over each other and chugging as much alcohol into their system as possible. But somehow, Jimin felt even more uncomfortable here than he would've at a regular party. Seokjin didn't see it, but Jimin could feel all these eyes on him, wondering why someone like him was here with Kim Seokjin, and why was the actor devoting all his attention to him and him only?

Jimin had wondered it himself, why Seokjin was pulling him around all night, introducing him to as many judging eyes as possible, especially that one dick who forgot his name. Jimin had seen the way Seokjin's jaw clenched as Woobin spoke to him, making Jimin feel even more confused than he already was.

When Seokjin finally took him away from all of the chatting and whispering and peering, away into that bedroom, he let himself feel at ease, and Seokjin made it even easier for him to fall into that feeling, with his caring gaze and soft words that made Jimin want to fall asleep.

It's almost funny how Jimin can go from wanting to stay on that bed with Seokjin forever, talking about anything and everything, to wanting to shove his head down a toilet in a matter of minutes.

He finally pulled his eyes away from Seokjin and the girl, trying to calm his emotions down. This wasn't fair. Seokjin wasn't allowed to just invite him to a party full of judging and snobby strangers, drag him around all night, talk to him and make himself open up for once over a stupid meaningless game, make him feel so damn special with his words and looks and touches, holding his hand and squeezing it like that meant nothing at all, and then completely change all in a second, ditching him and practically flaunting his arm candy in his face.

It hurt. He knew it shouldn't, but it did.

He hated how quickly he had grown to like Seokjin, and how easy it was to fall into this feeling of safety and trust around him. He hadn't talked much about failing his test before, or the fact that he rarely dated. Both private parts of information that Jimin only shared with only his closest friends. Seokjin had made Jimin feel like those were two exciting parts of his personality, that he was genuinely happy to learn them about him.

"Jimin! Where have you been?"

Hoseok ran towards him, quickly followed by Taehyung. 

"I could say the same thing about you," Jimin said, faking a smile.

Hoseok stands directly in front of him, blocking the view of Seokjin. "We've been out on the porch. It started raining, so dared Taehyung to run around the garden in his bare feet." He grinned at the boy in delight.

"My feet are still wet, you know. And I can't find my shoes anywhere." He leaned closely to Hoseok.

"Wait, has he been drinking?" Jimin questions, noticing the way Taehyung sneaks his arm around Hoseok's waist. "Is there something I should know about here?"

"He's just being friendly," Hoseok waves Taehyung off him. "But he has been drinking. God, and you all say I'm bad at handling my alcohol." He shakes his head. "Anyway, I'm gonna get this cutie back home safely. He's not in any state to drive. Are you gonna be okay here by yourself? Wheres Seokjin hyung?"

Jimin can't help but feel like he's been ditched twice. Clearly he's no one's first choice tonight. Seokjin would rather be with his lady friend, and Hoseok would rather be with Taehyung.

He quickly shakes the thought out of his head, scolding himself for thinking that of his friend. Hoseok was just looking out for Taehyung, who clearly needed a little love and attention right now considering his ability to stand was starting to fail him.

Taehyung and Hoseok were yet another reminder of Seokjin's kind actions, having tried to look out for his friend earlier to reassure Jimin. Why did he have to do do that? It only made everything that much more painful.

"Go, I'll be fine, I'll just get Seokjin to give me a ride back," Jimin lied, planning on calling a taxi as soon as the two had left. 

"But I wanna stayyy," Taehyung whines, throwing his arms about like a child who's just been grounded.

"Come on, Taehyungie, lets go," Hoseok attempts to direct him towards the door, quite forcefully.

Taehyung pulls away from Hoseok suddenly, and his lack of balance makes him fall straight back into Jimin. Taehyung knocks Jimin over, who in turn falls into an expensive looking vase cabinet, almost comedically and in slow motion. Charlie Chaplin can eat his hear out.

He feels sharp pain enter his hands, and then again and again. It hurts, not like when he was left alone by Seokjin, but a physical pain instead. He couldn't decide if it was better or worse.

"Jimin!"

He gets forced into a sitting position, as he had been lying on the floor only moments ago. Arms are holding onto him quite tightly, shaking him slightly, warm hands that feel like they won't let go. His vision is out of focus. His heart is pounding out of fear. The palms of his hands are hurting badly. As he looks down, he thinks he can see blood on them. All he sees is red.

"Oh my god, Jimin! Are you okay?!" He hears Hoseok practically scream straight into his right ear. Now his ear drums were hurting as well. 

Fan-fucking-tastic. 

Why did everything have to hurt.

"There's glass shards in his hands." the warm arms that were holding him closely only moments ago disappeared, and instead were now enclosed around his wrists, caressingly them gently.

It hurts.

"Taehyung, you moron! Look what you did to him! We are gonna need to take him to a hospital."

Jimin felt weak, his whole body feeling light and feathery. The panic ridden voices around him started to all blend into one.

"No, I don't think a hospital is necessary. The shards aren't that small, I could easily get them out myself."

It sounded like Seokjin. He wasn't too sure, as he wasn't paying that much attention.

"You aren't a damn doctor. He needs professional help."

That was definitely Hoseok. It was the same high pitched voice that nearly deafened him before.

"I've had a similar accident before, and I took care of it just fine. Let me take care of him, Hoseok."

It still hurts.

He didn't want to go with Seokjin. Didn't want to give him the satisfaction of taking care of him any longer. He was angry and confused and mostly importantly, hurt.

"I'll get the car ready, do you need any help bringing him out?"

Okay, that voice was different from the other two. Was it Yoongi? Jimin had no clue.

"I'll take care of him by myself. You go get the car."

Warmth fills his face as both hands embrace him, lifting it up ever so slightly so Jimin could finally focus on the man in front of him. Seokjin was sat on the ground, with a look that Jimin had never seen on his face before. He looked… worried?

"Jimin? Can you stand for me? I'm gonna get you out of here so we can treat your hands, okay?"

Jimin feels himself lose attention to Seokjin's face and words yet again, going in and out of focus. The only thing keeping him still slightly attentive was the thumb that was rubbing his cheek so so softly. That was the only thing holding him together.

He wanted to cry, to let out ever emotion he had felt that evening. He wanted to push Seokjin away and tell him to go to hell. He wanted to hold Seokjin close and never let go.

Eventually, Jimin felt himself nod. Seokjin held onto his arms, and slowly helped him up off the glass covered floor. How much were all those pricey looking vases even worth? Jimin hated to think about it.

"You're gonna be okay, Jimin. Let's go, okay?"

Seokjin has his arm wrapped around his waist, the other arm now circling around his wrist, careful not to touch his wounds. There wasn't as much blood as Jimin has originally thought, but there was still enough to freak out about. But Seokjin was right, it didn't look like a job for the hospital to take care of. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to pay for those hospital bills.

Suddenly, Jimin realises he's in the car, with Seokjin sat right next to him, stroking his arm. He must've blacked out, and he starts to feel himself slipping again, as the feeling on Seokjin's fingertips on his wrist make him shiver.

It hurts so much.

Is the last thought Jimin thinks of as Seokjin lulls him to sleep, resting his head on Seokjins broad shoulder.

Chapter Text

Warm, Jimin's brain barely registers. Warm and safe, his mind still boarder-line unconscious.

He can vaguely remember the car stopping. The feeling of the engine vibrating through his warm body suddenly disappearing. It had helped relaxed him in his half unconscious state as the car took him to wherever he was supposed to go. Once it stopped, it broke the dream like state he had peacefully inhabited for that brief amount of time.

"Are you sure you know how to remove those shards? You can barely even take care of yourself, let alone someone else."

"Please, I could do this in my sleep. They aren't too small or too deep. I'll just get my tweezers on them and disinfest the wound and baam, the jobs done. Nothing a novice like me can't handle."

"I've never heard you describe yourself as a novice at anything before. Most of the time you're bragging about the most mundane of tasks you've achieved, like the time you fixed the toaster by hitting it with a frying pan several times. Makes me forget you're just as ordinary as me."

"Would you shut up about the damn toaster, I fixed it, right? And I'm nothing like you. I'm special."

"Name one thing about you that's special."

"My face is what makes me special."

"Your attitude's what makes you special."

Jimin had complete forgot he was travelling with two others, who were currently bickering with each other as Jimin slowly gained consciousness. How long had they been driving? It felt like hours he had been lying there, the warmth fully consuming him. 

"Let's just get him inside so I can have a proper look at his hands."

Jimin begins to feel himself rise from the seat, arms looping around his waist and supporting him as they moved. He wasn't sure where they were right now, or where they were heading. Jimin couldn't find his voice in this throat, so he unwillingly stayed silent.

"Jimin? Are you awake? We need a little help from you to use your legs up the stairs, just a little, then you can relax again."

The soft hum of a voice in his ear sent shivers throughout his whole body, but it wasn't completely unpleasant. 

"He sure fell asleep pretty quickly, despite having so many large bowl thingys fall on him and cut up his hands."

"They're vases, you imbecile. I'm guessing it was the shock that made him pass out."

Before he realises it, he is sat on a couch with Seokjin sat directly in front of him whilst staring at his hands. He doesn't understand how he keeps momentarily zoning out, but it was starting to get irritating. 

Seokjin turned his hands over, making sure not to touch any of the cuts, to check further up his arms for any other damaged areas. He looks up at Jimin, who had finally gained his full consciousness.

"Ah, you're awake." Seokjin placed Jimin's hands back onto his own lap. "I was kind of hoping you'd stay woozy for a little while longer, so I could get this part over without a fuss."

"What's going on?" Jimin muttered, raising his arm to ruffle his own hair.

Seokjin quickly stopped him by grabbing his wrist. "Careful! I haven't treated your hands yet, the glass is still there." He sends a sincere look to Jimin. "You had an accident at the party. Taehyung, that damn fool, knocked you into a vase cabinet, and your hands got pretty badly cut."

Jimin could barely pay attention to what Seokjin was saying, his focus landing on the small area of skin on his wrist that Seokjin's fingers were running circles over. 

"I've got the first aid kit," Yoongi strolled in casually, holding said item in his hands. "Why the hell did you have to put it on the top shelf? You know I can't reach that far up."

"If its such a big problem for you, why don't you try growing an inch?" Seokjin teased, clearly hitting a nerve if the look on Yoongi's face said anything.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, before placing the first aid kit beside him. "I'll be in my room if you need anything. If you end up killing him or amputating his arms, I'm taking you down in court."

"Some accomplice he is," Seokjin spat, glaring at Yoongi as he disappeared. 

Jimin took the chance to look around him, letting his eyes adjust to the light. They looked as if they were in some sort of living room, that was covered in pictures and plants and all sorts of homely decorative items you'd see on some quirky magazine.

"Where are we exactly?" Jimin voiced his question, noticing a large wall right beside him, covered with photographs in frames and hundreds of polaroid pictures scattered everywhere.

"Oh right," Seokjin smiled at him. "This is our apartment. I thought it was best to take you back here after your fall."

His ability to control his senses failed him once again, as the heat created up his neck and over his face. If it wasn't embarrassing enough for him to practically get carried here like a helpless baby, he ended up in his knight in shining armours very own apartment, as a further sharp jab at the little pride he had left. This night couldn't have been any worse for Jimin.

"The glass isn't too deep into your skin, and I don't think it'll leave any scarring or visible damage, but it may hurt a little whilst I'm taking it out," Seokjin explains as his opens the first aid kit and pulls out a pair of tweezers. He quickly sprayed them and cleaned them, to prevent any type of infection. "Are you going to be okay?"

Jimin nods, not looking Seokjin in the eye. He just had to get through this, then he could leave. Only a little more embarrassment, then he could go home and forget this whole thing ever happened.

"Okay, here I go."

He feels the first shard quickly pulled out from his skin, and it instantly burned. Jimin bit his tongue from saying anything, not wanting to look any more pitiful than he already did.

"Sorry," Seokjin winced at Jimin's expression. "I'll try and take them out quickly so it doesn't hurt as bad."

After the first few pieces, it stopped being quite so painful, except for the few more deeper shards in more sensitive and tender areas, like his fingers. Seokjin had kept his word and was removing them as quickly and painlessly as he could.

He looked so focused in that moment. Jimin suddenly imagined Seokjin as a doctor, inspecting his patients with care and comfort. If he were ever cast as a doctor role, Jimin was sure he would play the kind and gentle doctor, who probably treated young kids and babies.

A particularly deep piece of glass was yanked out of his skin harshly, making Jimin curse.

"Shit, I'm sorry. That one was a little stinker." Seokjin holds Jimin's hand and starts blowing on the bleeding cut, reminding him of when his mother used to do the same to him as a child. It was comforting in an odd way. "You're awfully quiet, you know. I'm not sure if you're handling this like a champ or you're just trying to be brave."

"What do you think?" Jimin asks, voice low and drawling, a small smile faint on his lips.

"I think it's a bit of both."

Jimin's heart stutters and the tips of his fingers go cold yet again, the sensation not unfamiliar to him.

"Let's keep talking, it'll help distract you," Seokjin continues, taking out another small piece. "I've actually been dying to ask this for a while. How's the choreography going for you? I assume you've started putting it all together."

Jimin had received the music they would be using throughout play the day Seokjin had casted him, along with another cute and cheerful text, plenty of emoticons present to his delight. It was a very beautiful and calming song, not one Jimin had expected for the opening of a production. As for the rest of the show, the music slowly grew darker and darker, Jimin only assuming the lighthearted atmosphere being presented at the beginning of the play growing into something more harrowing, as Seokjin had described. 

"Kinda," Jimin replied, voice unsure. "I just haven't really got the time to pay my full attention to it right now. My classes have been eating me alive lately. But I have got an idea of how I want it to look."

Jimin pictured a group dance as the opening, something to mask the utopia that Jimin imagined the young artist to have been living in, which would soon reveal a more tragic, dystopian turn. Jimin wasn't sure if he could perfectly portray those feelings through his dance, let alone make them look any good, but at least it was a start. A glimpse of inspiration. He could work with that. All he needed right now was time.

Seokjin looked as if that wasn't the answer he had wanted. "Are you sure you're too busy, or is it because you are regretting agreeing to be our choreographer?"

That sudden bold question made Jimin's stomach tighten. The excuses he had been telling himself becoming clear as day as soon as Seokjin voiced them himself.

he paused his tweezing, leaning back in his seat opposite Jimin. "You know, I've been wondering this for a while…" He hesitated, pondering his choice of words. "Why did you agree to join us?"

Jimin feels his heart stop for a moment, the sudden memories of when Seokjin had first met him swirling around in his mind, the feeling of having Seokjin practically begging him to join them resurfaced. Seokjin was looking at him differently. The look of humour and ease disappeared and now replaced with a softer gaze. 

"I was convinced you would say no," Seokjin almost whispered. He seemed less confident than ever before to Jimin. "But if you really didn't want to do it, why did you say yes? Was it the pressure?"

Jimin had half a million words come to mind, but none of them could explain his reasons. It was like someone completely sucked away his ability to speak right in that moment. 

"What are you thinking right now?" Seokjin speaks again, interrupting Jimin's thoughts, his voice wavering. "I can tell you're thinking really hard, its written all over your face. I've seen that look before."

He truly had no idea what to say to Seokjin. Here he was, sat with pieces of glass in his skin, as the man had willing volunteered to assist him. He wasn't sure he could be in a more bizarre situation if he tried. If someone had told him yesterday that this all would've happened in the span of twenty four hours, he would've laughed in their face.

He was the wounded one of the two, the one with cuts and bumps and bruises, waiting to be healed slowly, so why did Seokjin look like the vulnerable one here? He looked as if asking this question pained him deeply. How does someone respond to someone looking at them like that?  

Jimin closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. "I think.. I think it was because of what you said to me." Jimin takes a moment to think out his sentence, trying to ignore Seokjin's eye's and their gaze. "No ones ever really, I don't know, payed any attention to me before. You're such a good actor… It just felt nice having someone that talented make me feel wanted for a change."

Seokjin tilts his head, listening to every word Jimin was pouring out of his heart.

"Maybe, I just wanted to feel good about myself for once. Like you do. I wanted to be a part of something special, so I could feel special."

The guilt feels thick in the back of this throat, as he admits to Seokjin and himself the feelings he hadn't fully accepted yet. He was using Seokjin for his own selfish desires, to feel good about himself and bring back his love for his performance. Seokjin brought back the flicker of a flame that vanished in him, and it slowly ignited more and more every time Seokjin said something so sweet, it was also sickening.

Maybe that was why it hurt him so much earlier when Seokjin had left him for more entertaining company. He got greedy far too quickly, letting himself think that Seokjin was something he could use for himself, forgetting that Seokjin wasn't a possession, something he owned. Seokjin owed nothing to Jimin, he could do what he wanted and talk to whoever he please. It was a cruel reminder to Jimin that they were once again, in two different worlds. No matter how close they could seem, no matter how many comforting moments they can share, at the end of the day, they'll both go back to who they really are.

Jimin hadn't realised it before, but he was completely self centred.

"Can I tell you something?"

Jimin swallows the lump in his throat and nods, not sure if he even wants to hear what he has to say.

"When I was little, I used to attend this small elite drama club. It only had six members, and you had to audition to enter, since our teacher used to be a highly respected actor back in his day." Seokjin reached out to grab the alcohol from the kit. "It wasn't like a regular drama club. It was strict, and a lot of hard work. We had to attend class every day, even on weekends. If you missed even a single class, you'd get kicked out. Our teacher taught me everything I know now, and I still use most of his tips and tricks to this day. Back then, the other kids were horribly rude and stuck up. After class and during our breaks whenever the teacher wasn't around, they used to take me to the playground and beat me up until I couldn't walk."

Jimin stares into blank space as his thoughts wonder. Seokjin got beaten up? It sounded so unrealistic to Jimin, a scenario he never would've believed if anyone else had told him such a thing about Seokjin. He couldn't imagine someone like him ever having to worry about bullies or being picked on. Everyone around him knew not to mess with him, and they were right to think so. Seokjin was incredibly kind and considerate, but around the wrong people he had a sharp tongue and a bad mouth. How could any kid target someone like that?

"One day, teacher noticed the bruises on my arms and legs. He confronted me about them, demanding to know where I had gotten them." Seokjin let out a breath he had been holding in. "For the longest time, I played dumb. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about. That I was as surprised as he was. Eventually, teacher told me he knew the other kids were targeting me. He had seen them pulling my hair when they thought he wasn't looking." The cloth that Seokjin had doused in alcohol was placed over Jimin's hands, pressing lightly into them. "He old man had some sharp eyes, and even sharper words to put me in my place. I asked him what I should do? I was so helpless back then. Those kids just wouldn't leave me alone. I would cry about it every day. My body hurt so much from the bruises. I felt so weak and stupid. But teacher snapped me out of it."

Jimin winced as the alcohol rubbed over his cuts. It stung horridly.

"He told me that hiding it from everyone was never going to solve anything. It I wasn't going to be grown up enough to sort it out myself, then to rely on others to do it for me. If I couldn't ask for help, I would have to face it on my own, head first, and accept the consequences. I would have to play the part of the strong, mature person, like teacher did every day. Wanna know what I did?" He patted the cloth on Jimin's hands. "I dealt with it on my own. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems, especially not teacher. After I'd shown those kids I wasn't scared of them anymore, they left me alone. But the truth is, even though I acted as if they didn't phase me anymore, I was still scared shitless of them. They truly terrified me, but if I let that show, they would pounce, like lions." He removed the cloth, and started wrapping some tape around Jimin's injuries. "I think that's where I truly discovered my love for acting. Who knew I could become a completely different person if I just… acted it. I could become anyone if I tried hard enough. There are a million roles we play every single day, and I could be any one that I wanted. No one could ever hurt me again."

"Seokjin…" Jimin didn't know what to say. This seemed like a very personal story to Seokjin. He wasn't sure if he felt entirely comfortable hearing it, or if he even deserved to hear it.

"You want to know how to feel good about yourself, like me? Here's the secret," Seokjin leaned it, smiling. "It's all bullshit."

He laughed out loud, slapping his knee humorously, but Jimin couldn't laugh in response. He couldn't see the humour in Seokjin's words.

"The strong and confident Kim Seokjin who you know and love, that guy? He's a mask," Seokjin cuts the tape, finishing his doctor role that Jimin had assigned him earlier. "You know, under that mask I wear everyday, I'm still just the same scared kid, too weak to ask for help, so I choose to deal with it all on my own. But you know what?" His smile didn't look fake to Jimin. "Sometimes, after pretending for so long, I forget. I let myself forget that this is all just an act, that I really am this untouchable person. And it feels good. There are these days where I really am that Kim Seokjin you see, and those are the days I feel my most happiest. The longer you pretend, the easier it is to feel like it's reality."

For the first time, Jimin sees Seokjin as he is truly presenting himself. That small, helpless child who was horribly bullied, is clear as day in front of him.

"Feeling good about ourselves, it doesn't come easy to anyone. Even the people who seem happiest and strongest in the world, are probably the loneliest and most afraid of them all, they've just mastered the art of pretending. Because pretending is easier than confronting anyone else about it. It's natural for ourselves to hold everything inside, until it eventually disappears to the back of our minds." he starts stroking Jimin's arm once again, making goosebumps tingle down his arms. "If you can, I'd suggest confining in others. But if you're like me, and you can't do that, then you'll have to master the art of pretending, then you'll finally start to feel good about yourself. You have to fake it till you make it, as some people say."

Jimin wasn't sure if Seokjin's story and advice had helped him or make him feel even worse. It somehow felt slightly reassuring that Seokjin wasn't this completely perfect person, that he felt the same things as Jimin on a daily basis. It showed a side of Seokjin that Jimin had never even considered to be possible. Weakness and vulnerability. It was as if those things didn't exist in Kim Seokjin's world.

"But I'm not an actor, like you," Jimin whispers, pulling his hand away. He was tired of constantly getting shivers whenever Seokjin touched him.

Seokjin nods in response, listening to him. "Maybe you aren't a trained actor, Jimin. But if you think about it, aren't we all actors? We all pretend sometimes, whenever someone asks if if we're okay, and we respond with 'I'm fine' because we don't want to be a burden. When our parents or teachers ask us to help them out, and we agree to help, even if we really really don't want to. If you can do all that, then you can pretend to be happy more and more every day, until one day, you'll actually start to feel it too. I promise you that, Jimin."

Jimin holds his breath, staring at Seokjin. He takes in every little detail in that moment, wanting to permanently draw this image into his memory. He wants to remember what its like to have someone hold him up like this, supporting him both physically with his cuts and wounds, and with his whole heart, through stories of childhood and revealing emotions that one would prefer to keep hidden. Of all the promises people have made to him thought his life, some being kept and some broken, this one seemed the most important to Jimin. He didn't want Seokjin to break that promise. He really hoped he meant it.

"It's really late, let's get you to bed," Seokjin says whilst staring at the large clock on the wall. Jimin couldn't believe he missed such a large ornament.

Holy crap. It was nearly 3am.

How long had he been at the party? And how long had he spent here at Seokjin's apartment?

"You can sleep here on the couch. It's pretty comfy, you should doze right off. I'll get you a blanket," Seokjin stands up, collecting up all the items from the first aid kit and arranging them neatly. 

Jimin stands up quickly in protest, holding his head from the dizziness. "It's fine! I'll head back to my own place. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

"Really? At this time in the morning? And you clearly aren't in any state to head out into the streets of Seoul all by yourself. You look ready to pass out." Seokjin pushes him back down onto the couch by his shoulders, not allowing the younger to leave. "I'm serious, you should stay right here tonight. What kind of doctor would I be if I let my patients wonder around without supervision?"

His playful banter made Jimin smile a little. "What about Yoongi hyung? Doesn't he get a say?"

Seokjin waved him off. "He couldn't care less who stays here, as long as they keep the noise down. I bring people here all the time and I never hear a word of complaint."

Jimin decides to ignore the end of Seokjin's statement, not allowing himself to feel greedy and selfish once again. Seokjin has every right to bring whoever he pleases to his own apartment, Jimin tells himself.

"Please, stay," Seokjin asks, quietly. "I'd feel a lot better knowing you were here than wondering around."

Jimin realises how much of a bother he must've been to Seokjin ever since they met. Seokjin had only been looking for a choreographer, but instead had to deal with all of Jimin's emotional baggage as well. He made a small vow to himself to stop being such a nuisance to him, and that no matter what, Seokjin wouldn't regret choosing him.

"Okay, I'll stay."

Seokjin's firm grip on Jimin's shoulders loosened, slowly removing himself from Jimin.

"Good." A yawn erupts from Seokjin's mouth. "Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. I would offer you some different clothes to sleep in, but I think mine are all a little too big for you. My rooms the one with the pink glitter on the the door, and Yoongi's is the one with the dark and depressing aura rising from it. Bathroom's just around the corner. If you need anything, don't hesitate to knock."

Jimin huffs out a small laugh and nods, feeling rather sleepy himself. "Okay, I'll come running if necessary."

Seokjin smiles then waves his hand as he heads towards his room. "Goodnight Jimin."

"Wait!"

He stops in his tracks, looking concerned, like Jimin had fallen and broken another vase or something.

"Thank you. For everything."

Jimin is grateful to Seokjin, for the way Seokjin brought him back to his place without any hesitation. For the way he tended to Jimin's wounds and opened up to him. For the way Seokjin had given him a chance, given him an opportunity that no one else would. For believing in him.

"Anytime, Jiminie. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Jin hyung."

~

A routine was completely normal to Jimin, having been following several ever since he started college. They were important to him, as they help him keep his lifestyle in check, especially his diet and exercise routine, as well as studying and practice. Being organised was a small significant detail that he could proudly brag about, for a change. Living with Jungkook made him feel even more organised than usual, since the boy could be particularly hurried and messy in his lifestyle in comparison to Jimin.

Another routine that was incredibly important to him and his day was his morning routine.

Everyday, he'd wake up at 6:30, do some stretches or yoga for thirty minutes, eat a healthy breakfast, then head to practice early to get some extra hours in. He had been following this for years. It was a simple, yet effective routine.

The first thing that felt strangely odd to him, was the smell.

His bedroom sheets smelled of fresh pine, a scent Jimin loved. It was refreshing, and helped him sleep better during the night. However, he couldn't detect any signs of pine that morning.

The smell was much sweeter, a little stronger than usual. He took a large whiff. It was strawberries. Jimin wasn't fond of fruity smells, as they were always too sickly and made him feel a little light headed, but this scent was softer, and the sweetness made his nose tingle gently.

The second thing that he noticed was the feeling of his bed. At the start of the year, Jimin had decided to invest in a much larger queen sized bed instead of his old and soon to be broken single bed, and that decision had benefited his sleep greatly. It had been a pain trying to get it into the apartment, and took him and Jungkook hours to put the bed frame together, but it had definitely been worth it.

The bed he was currently lying on felt different, much softer, and definitely no where near as big.

The third and final strange occurrence was the sound of movement, and a machine brewing coffee. Jimin knew Jungkook all too well, and there was no way in hell he would ever be up before Jimin. He had tried so many times to get Jungkook into a similar routine, but the younger man had refused. It would take a god damn miracle for him to be awake before Jimin.

He finally opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep that had built up in his tear ducts over night. There was something stuck to his hands, and they hurt when Jimin rubbed them. When his eyes finally focused properly, he saw tape wrapped around them both.

"So you're awake."

Jimin instantly leaped up and searched around for the source of the voice.

"You want some coffee? You look like you could do with some."

Yoongi was sat down on a chair, sipping from a bright pink mug, staring straight at Jimin.

So it hadn't been a dream.

Jimin really had gone to that party last night, spent hours with Seokjin playing games and talking, only to get taken back to his apartment when he had been injured. None of it felt even remotely real, yet the fact that Jimin was lying on their couch right now with his hands aching and covered in tape, proved it all.

"Unless you're more of a tea person, I can't really help you with that. That's Seokjin's speciality." He took another large gulp, unbothered by the scolding heat. His eyes narrowed down onto Jimin's hands. "How's the cuts?"

"Oh, um, they're doing much better!" Jimin waved his hands to show. "Thank you for taking care of me last night, and I'm sorry for being a hassle."

Yoongi nodded, placing his mug onto the counter behind him. "It's fine. All I did was drive you here, so Seokjin's gonna have to take most of the credit for the first aid part. Just try to be more careful next time."

Jimin bowed his head, letting Yoongi know he would. It was a little bit uncomfortable being in this situation with Yoongi, but it was no where near as bad as last night, so he could deal with it. The room looked much clearer to Jimin than the night before, now that he was fully conscious and the room was lit with natural sunlight. 

If Jimin hadn't known who had lived here, he would easily been able to figure out it was Seokjin just by looking at it. The whole room was bursting with his personality, through the hundreds of pictures on the wall, to the pretty plants placed in every corner possible. There were shelves with ornaments and statues and cute little figurines, some looking like characters from various games and anime. There were also books on every table, surface, or counter, with bright and colourful covers and big bold titles. It matched Seokjin perfectly, it was almost uncanny.

"I'm guessing Jin hyung decorated this place," Jimin says, smiling without realising.

"You guessed correctly, Yoongi sighed. "When we moved in I somehow managed to snatch the bigger room first, so Seokjin declared that he had every right to decorate the rest of the apartment to make it fair, and I couldn't be bothered to argue with him about it. He would've done it with or without my permission anyway."

Jimin hadn't expected anything less.

It wasn't much larger than Jimin and Jungkook's place, to his surprise. He knew Seokjin came from a wealthy family, so it confused him as to why he was staying in such an ordinary apartment like this?

"He'll probably be up soon," Yoongi said, referring to the other owner of this apartment. "He's usually up before me, but he did get to sleep pretty late last night." He paused. "So, do you want a coffee or not?" Yoongi stood up, walking into the small kitchen.

"Yes please," Jimin nodded frantically, not wanting to cause him any more annoyance.

Yoongi started preparing the beverage he offered, and Jimin got himself up off the couch to further inspect the room, in particular the wall of pictures directly opposite him. He walked towards the wall, glancing up at the photos in various forms. The bigger pictures were in frames, some of which had writing in the corners, or a date. But most of them were polaroids. They were taken in so many different places. Jimin pointed out pictures of Seokjin with various people in lots of places, some looking far crazier than others. Yoongi was present in a lot of them as well, but it was clear that Seokjin was the main focus of the pictures. No matter how many people were squeezed into one small frame, Jimin's eyes automatically were drawn the the taller man, unable to look away. Seokjin had such an aura about him, it was impossible to look at anyway else. Both on stage and off, Seokjin was the star of the show no matter where he was.

Yet another pang of Jealousy struck Jimin's heart against his will. He wondered what all these experiences had been like? How each of them had started, what wild and crazy things had happened in that moment to make Seokjin look so genuinely happy in each of them.

It reminded Jimin just how little he knows about the mysterious actor, and how little he had known him for. There were people in these pictures who showed up in many of the others, people who had been with Seokjin in those wild moments. It made him envious.

To distract himself from those greedy thoughts, Jimin turned to look at a pile of books stacked on a shelf besides the wall of photos. He picked up the first one, titled Epiphany. Out of curiosity, Jimin opened the book to read its content. As he opened the book, a few small pictures fell out of the pages and onto the floor.

Shit, he's gonna make a mess.

He quickly goes to pick the pictures up. The first one he sees is a another polaroid, but this time it only had Jin in the frame. He looked a little younger, his hair shorter and a light shade of brown. He is smiling straight at the camera, with his eyes winking at the ends and his teeth on show, glowing as bright as ever. Jimin can practically hear the laugh coming from the picture in its full sneaky nature, making himself smile warmly at the thought.

He picked up three or four more pictures and inspected them next. They weren't the same as the one polaroid. These were all taken from a proper camera, and Seokjin wasn't alone in these. He was with another man, smiling just as brightly as Seokjin. The other four pictures were pretty similar, all taken in places that looked the same, but Jimin felt his smile disappear as soon as he noticed the second face in the picture. Whoever he was, it was clear Seokjin was close to him. Out of all the pictures Jimin had seen of Seokjin, he looked happiest here next to this guy.

Why were they tucked away in a book? Didn't Seokjin want to display it on his wall like all the other happy memories?

"What are you doing?"

The sudden voice behind Jimin made him jump. He turned around to face Yoongi, who looked at him with a puzzled expression. He caught sight of the book in Jimin's hand.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be nosy…" Jimin tries to explain as Yoongi takes the book out of his hand.

"What are these pictures doing in here?" He asked, voice turning cold. The look in his eyes made something shift in Jimin's stomach. "Was he really going to throw these away? I can't believe him…"

Theres a bitter taste on Jimin's tongue. He still had the first polaroid in his hand, clutching it delicately. "Um, who's the guy with Seokjin in the pictures? They look pretty close."

"I guess you could say that."

His curiosity was getting the better of him again. He wanted to know the identity of the man in the pictures. He wanted to know his relationship to Seokjin and Yoongi. He wanted to know why Seokjin had hidden these pictures away in a book, only to get tossed out into the trash.

The younger of the two was growing more and more impatient as Yoongi just stood there, remaining silent as he stared down at the book and the pictures. A mixture of confusion and hurt flash across his face, instantly replaced by his usual unbothered expression.

"That's Seokjung. Seokjin's older brother."

Jimin feels his heart stop for a moment, the palms of his hands suddenly feeling sweaty. An icy feeling starts growing in his chest.

And lastly, I'm an only child. Pretty self explanatory.

Seokjin's face flashes through Jimin's mind, how nonchalant he seemed as he played his round last night. 

"He wouldn't want you looking through this stuff. It's pretty private," Yoongi mutters, placing the book back down.

Jimin feels himself growing colder and colder, feeling it all they way through to his bones. Betrayal boiled under his skin, unable to think rationally. He starts trying to piece it all together, searching desperately for an answer, a sign, as to why Seokjin lied, and cheated at the game he had suggested himself. Jimin had trusted him, told him small, seemingly unimportant details about himself, that he wouldn't have shared with just anybody, only with Seokjin.

Why would anyone lie about being an only child?

He was sure that Yoongi would be able to answer that for him.

"Hyung…" Jimin started, trying to gather his words.

Yoongi had placed himself on the edge of the couch, looking down at his feet. It was obvious he was expecting Jimin to question him, he looked like he had everything thought out, compared to Jimin who was trying to find the right words without sounding rude or too impersonal.

"You're probably wondering why he was planning on throwing those things out," He spoke, breaking Jimin's thoughts. "Unfortunately, it's not my place to say anything. I'd be breaking any form of trust with Seokjin if I did that. I'm sorry that it's not the answer you wanted to hear, but that's all I can say."  His voice seemed even deeper than before. "Whenever Seokjin's ready, he'll tell you. He's not the kind of guy to appreciate people trying to force answers out of him. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. He'll open up to you when the time is right for him."

Jimin still had so many questions. He wanted to ask Yoongi's opinion on why Seokjin lied, about why he had hurt Jimin so badly in so many ways, yet also made him feel so special whenever his full attention was on Jimin. But of course, he would get no answer. 

Perhaps, that was the most frustrating feeling in the world.

"I'm pretty sure you've figured this out by now, but Seokjin's not exactly the same as what his reputation claims him to be," Yoongi continues. "He's compassionate, he is always opened minded and willing to try new things, his intentions are always good, and very gentle. But he is also one of the most private people I know, has a lot of selfish desires and he takes everything very personally. When he hurts, he hurts deeply. There's no in-between with Seokjin." He sighs, tilting his head back. "What I'm trying to say is, a lot of people have these expectations of him. They want him to be a certain type of person, a person that he isn't. They want him to provide them with so much and Seokjin just can't fulfil those wishes. A lot of people purely want something from him, whether its power or fame or attention. But he can't ever give them those things, so ultimately, they leave." 

He was talking as if he'd seen happen this time and time again, making Jimin wonder just how deep their friendship went.

"I don't want you to have so many expectations of Seokjin, for you to be sucked in the same way that everyone else is, only to be disappointed in the end. Anyone would be more than lucky to know him, but I'm not gonna lie, he's a lot to handle." The corners of Yoongi's mouth perked up slightly. "I'm going to tell you now, whatever it is you might want from Seokjin, he won't be able to give it to you. If you're looking for a relationship, it won't work. If you want the same power and status as him, you won't get it."

Is that what Yoongi thought of Jimin? That he was just using Seokjin for his own personal gain? He felt incredibly small in the moment, his self confidence and self esteem almost non existent.

"I don't understand," Jimin utters, desperate to defend himself. "I've never wanted anything from Seokjin. He's the one who came to me first."

Yoongi lets out an amused laugh. "So you're telling me that you aren't interested in Seokjin? Because the look on your face last night when Seokjin was talking with Cha Yoojung suggests otherwise."

His throat dried up at Yoongi's accusation, making his eyes sting. That whole night had been a total mess from start to end, and even though its over now it somehow keeps getting worse and worse the more Jimin thinks about it. 

"I'm not. I'm barely even his friend."

Yoongi hums, expression unreadable. "Well, whatever your reason, I know you've had some kind of expectations of Seokjin, even if you haven't realised it yet. It's always the same, no matter who it is."

That triggered something deep in Jimin. Warm hands encircling his own, sending shivers down his spine, smelling of strawberries and sweetness. Jimin had been expecting too much of Seokjin. He had been treating Seokjin as this type of untouchable being, a person from a whole different world to Jimin, and yet somehow wanted Seokjin to change all that. Small glimmers of hope made Jimin so greedy in such a short amount of time. All this time he had trying to use Seokjin as a way of loving himself. It was cruel and hurtful, but Jimin actually liked himself when he was around Seokjin. He liked the way he talked and sounded, the way he could say what was on his mind and not feel shamed for it, because Seokjin made him feel that way, through his reassuring smiles and little touches that meant the whole world to Jimin. He thought Seokjin could be the answer to all his problems.

"I'm not trying to force you to runaway or anything," Yoongi reasons. "It's actually the opposite. I think Seokjin needs someone like you in his life right now. I heard some of the stuff he was saying to you last night…" He suddenly stopped. "That's stuff he never talks about. He prefers to bottle it all up inside and pretend that everything okay, rather than actually sort his problems out normally. I don't know why, but he sees something in you, that makes him want to talk about those thoughts and feelings he keeps hidden. I just want you to start seeing him differently. Not as this perfect guy with the whole world at his fingertips, but as just… Seokjin." He straightens his back, finally looking Jimin directly in the eye. "When you finally do that, I'm certain that he'll open up to you a lot quicker. And I think you'll open up to him too."

For a while, the two men remain silent. Jimin opens his mouth and shuts it a couple of times, unsure what to do or say. This all feels so fast, so unreal, like everything is being thrown at him at once, all these unwanted thoughts and feelings that never should've entered Jimin's mind and buried deep into his heart. It's the same feeling he got the first time Seokjin asked him to take a leap of faith, and join the show with him, only this time it felt even scarier. Jimin wonders how Seokjin had felt in that moment with him, was his heart beating as fast as Jimin's? Were his hands sweaty, and his stomach tight? He wasn't sure if he'd ever find out the answer to that question, or to a lot of questions that he had. That was just how it was with Seokjin. 

I don't know if I understand what you're saying. Yes, I'm Kim Seokjin, and you're Park Jimin. What does that have to do with anything? Act as yourself around me. Your true self.

Seokjin didn't treat him any differently to anyone else. Seokjin had gone out of his way for Jimin, countless times already, despite having known each other for such a short amount of time. He put up with Jimin's stupid insecurities and his stupid self doubt without a word of complaint. And he still still held Jimin up high. He still grabbed Jimin's cold hands with his own warm ones, feeling like they'd never let go. In a world where Jimin was so familiar to being out of the spotlight, Seokjin had seen him.

He already owed Seokjin more than he'd realised.

"You two look like you've seen a ghost."

Jimin almost gulps when he sees the man running circles through his mind standing next to Yoongi, looking between the two men lost in thought.

Yoongi looked equally as surprised at Jimin, but quickly brushes it off. "Just wanted to know if our guest wanted some coffee," he mumbles, turning away.

"Bleh, I can't blame Jiminie for not wanting any. Your coffee is always way too strong." He pulls a disgusted face when Yoongi mentioned his coffee. "Do you want some tea instead? I promise it won't poison you like Yoongi's potions will."

"They aren't poisonous, you just have dull taste buds."

"They're dull because of your coffee. I'm surprised I can still taste anything after drinking one of them."

His carefree and cheerful aura instantly cleared up the previously depressing atmosphere, making Jimin feel like he can breathe properly again. The light hearted banter between the roommates continued as Jimin sat back down onto the couch he had spent the night on. Was this really the same man from last night?

He has a brother he couldn't tell you about. He cheated at his own game. He lied to you.

He shook the thoughts plaguing his mind out of his head. No more ill thoughts of Seokjin. No more expectations. No more letting himself get hurt over every little thing that happens. Today he was going to change all that. He was going to make Seokjin trust him, and to speak to him the way he did last night. He wants to see that side of Seokjin again, to feel his raw pain and honesty. He didn't care how long it would take.

"Do you have any plans today, Jimin?" he asks, a small smile gracing his lips.

Jimin shuffles around in his seat. "Not really. It's Sunday, so usually this is my day off from practice and training."

Seokjin's eyes light up. "Wonderful! How would you feel about joining me on a little field trip today?"

"You have a rehearsal today, jackass," Yoongi interrupts. "Don't go making plans when you are already busy."

"But there's no point in me being there!" He pouts. "Today is all about lighting and set design. I know for a fact that Namjoon is secretly praying I won't show up, so why not give the man what he wants?"

The way Seokjin had spoke made the corners of Jimin's mouth perk upwards, raising his eyebrow questioningly. "Has Kim Seokjin gone rogue?"

Seokjin blinks. "Rogue? I hadn't thought of it that way." He taps his chin in thought. "Is that weird?"

Jimin lets himself properly smile. "Nope. It's actually pretty friggin' awesome."

Seokjin seemed to like that answer, looking a little too pleased with himself. "I was hoping you'd say that." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "So will you join me?"

He nods quickly, not letting the worry in the back of his head dictate his words and actions. He wants to have fun with Seokjin today, with zero worries and doubts.

Seokjin walks towards him, and gently pats him on the head, messing up his already scruffy bed hair. There was a fondness in the small gesture, reminding Jimin of the warmth he felt with Seokjin yesterday, as he practically carried him into their apartment.

He felt that warmth from the tips of his scalp to the bottom of his feet.

~

It's Sunday. Fucking Sunday. And here Jungkook was, at a goddamn theatre, bored out of his mind and waiting for something to do.

Why exactly was he here again? He asked himself for the sixteenth time. He had resorted to drawing on spare pieces of paper he found on some desk, skimming through some old and musty looking scripts that were abandoned in the bottom of some box in one of the many rooms this theatre had to offer, and throwing a juggling ball up into the air and catching it, for hours and hours.

In the whole time he had spent there, he had been acknowledged a total of three times, all by some preppy looking rich kids who barely even said hello. They were all too far up their own asses anyway, Jungkook was almost relieved that none of them wanted to approach him. The feeling was completely mutual.

Sunday was his freedom day, usually spent in his room sleeping, or playing video games that he had borrowed from Hoseok. When one of the less insufferable stage managers has asked him to come today, he had wanted to puke. The thought of wasting his blissful Sunday at one of the most foul places on the planet was laughable to himself only weeks ago, but here he was now, feeling like a fucking fool.

"Jungkook? Could I get your opinion on something quick?"

He looked up from his seat on the floor, tucked away in the corner of the huge auditorium, and met eyes with Kim Namjoon, smiling at him lightly.

Ah, there was his reason for being here.

"S-Sure, hyung," he stuttered, inwardly cursing at himself for sounding like a nervous freak. Next time he'd definitely say something smoother.

"Great!" Namjoon smiled even wider, sitting down beside Jungkook without any warning.

He quickly moves what feels like ten feet away from Namjoon, not feeling comfortable with the close proximity of the director. Namjoon looked at him with confusion, both eyebrows raising. Fantastic, he had just looked like a complete weirdo for shuffling away. He was probably thinking that Jungkook thought he had some highly contagious disease.

"Well, um… I made some sketches of the set in scene ten, and wanted to know your thoughts, since you'll be the one helping change everything over," He holds the notebook over to Jungkook, budging only a little closer so he can reach.

The younger man took the notebook from his hands, careful not to brush his fingers with his own. The state of the notebook had surprised him a little, with it's torn out pages and scribbles everywhere, the book practically falling to pieces in his hands. He would've thought that a guy like Namjoon could take good care of his property, and take pride in his organisation skills. The sketches were rough and messy, barely able to make any sort of clear picture for Jungkook to imagine.

"What do you think? Since this is a fairly intense scene, we wanted the symbolism of the tree to shine in the middle," He explains, pointing at a long squiggle in the middle of the page. "And here we want the rest of the cast to either be holding the framed paintings themselves, or to act as statues."

Jungkook squinted. That thing in the middle was supposed to be a tree? And the round balls scattered across the page, were people?

"Jungkook?" Namjoon said, staring at him expectingly.

What should he say?

"Um, it looks great! You sure know what you're looking for!" Jungkook exclaimed, sounding a little too loud and cheerful.

Namjoon hums, biting his lip. "My drawings are that bad, huh."

Busted.

"No! That's not at all true!" Jungkook quickly responds, waving his arms in disagreement. How was he supposed to get out of this without sounding like a dick? "I'm not very artistic! This is, um, what do you call it…. interpretative art?"

Namjoon bit his lip even harder, but this time it was from amusement. "It's okay, I know I suck at drawing. It's just a rough sketch of what I'm trying to achieve." He took the notebook back from Jungkook. "And you don't have to downplay your own talents to make me feel better. You're very artistic, Jungkook."

Oh.

Huh?

"I'm really not…." Jungkook trails off, feeling even more shy than before.

"Yes you are, silly." Namjoon pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was one of the small drawings Jungkook had made earlier when he was contemplating death due to boredom. 

Of all the small pieces of paper covered in quirky drawings Namjoon paced up, it just had to be the most humiliating one. 

Jungkook had been lying on the floor when he was sketching, glancing around for ideas. He was really into fantasy characters and super heroes. He enjoyed turning whatever he saw into cool villains with interesting powers or super intelligent demi gods that controlled the seven seas. Whilst Jungkook was searching for inspiration, his eyes landed onto Namjoon, who had been standing on a ladder, pointing at a huge stage light whilst talking to an assistant scribbling down notes that Namjoon had been advising. 

On the piece of paper that Namjoon held, was a drawing of himself as superman. A long red cape flowed behind his figure, his fist held highly in the air as he flew across the page to save the world.

"W-Where did you get that?" He quickly snatched the paper away from Namjoon, embarrassed that he ever saw it. He had only been contemplating death earlier, but now he actually wanted to die. How could he ever live this down? Namjoon had seen the picture he'd drawn of him, he could never show his face to him ever again. Time to book a one way ticket to Timbuktu.

"I found it lying on the floor by the props cupboard." Namjoon scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I've been a little nosy. I couldn't help myself. You're really talented."

Jungkook considers the different ways to respond: he could brush off the compliment, acting like it wasn't a big deal and it was completely meaningless. He could play it cool and shoot him a flirtatious wink. Or lastly, he could deny the whole thing, claiming that someone else had done it.

"Well, I, um…" Fuck. Think, Jungkook, think. "…Sorry."

Fucking sorry? Is that the best he could do? What a fucking idiot he was. This is why he will eventually die alone. No one likes a loser.

"Why are you sorry? I'm honoured you drew me this way. Is it superman? That's so cool! You're so cool, Jungkook."

That was what he was supposed to say, what Jungkook had been wanting to tell Namjoon ever since the first time he had seen him in his classroom.

Jungkook had been seated at the very front. Normally, he preferred his usual seat at the very back of the class, out of the spotlight from his peers. They weren't in the class very often, since they were sports majors. They would usually spend their days out on the field. They only had to come to proper classes once a week for theory lessons. It was the worst part of his week.

It all reminded him of when he was in high school. He had always been shy and reserved, not having the confidence to just casually talk to whoever he liked. It was probably the reason why he and Jimin had liked each other from the start, they were both awkward and introverted, with very little social skills.

He hadn't excelled academically, struggling to keep up in classes most of his life. The stupid stereotype that all the quiet nerdy kids would be the ones to pass with flying colours was complete bullshit. He sucked in school, and socially. The only thing he had ever been any good at was sports.

On that day, his class was only scheduled to last an hour, which was music to Jungkook's ears. He wanted to be at the front so he could then leave the class as soon as possible, off to do better things with his time than sit at a desk feeling sorry for himself. The other guys in his class were laughing about something someone had said to him over text, and Jungkook had to hold himself back from groaning. The coach was fast asleep on his desk, clearly not bothered about teaching them anything useful. This was supposed to be one of the best colleges in Seoul, the thought making Jungkook mentally cackle. 

That was when Namjoon entered the room, strutting in without a single care in the world. He instantly caught Jungkook's attention, as he was standing right in front of him. As far as first impressions go, Jungkook had felt completely starstruck by this being in front of him. He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, but fashionably. His thick glasses sat wonkily on his nose, complimented by a brown jacket over the top of a beige hoodie. He looked like he belonged inside a coffee shop, or a forest, or on top of a mountain. Jungkook couldn't make up his mind.

"Excuse me," Namjoon coughed loudly, but politely, gaining the attention of the small group of boys. "I'm looking for volunteers to participate in our upcoming show, Serendipity. You may have heard of it. We need people to help with our stage props and equipment to be transferred during the show to its desired placement. I was hoping that one of you gentlemen would be willing to offer your help. It would be most appreciated."

A couple of snickers erupted from the boys. It seemed as if Jungkook wasn't the only person who hated theatre in the class. Actually, most of them had the same opinion of the art. Most of them probably had the same bullshit hyper masculine mindset that it was prissy and girly and something that a man couldn't enjoy, because their masculinity was the priority to them. Jungkook wasn't exactly innocent to it either, but most of his hatred was directed to the people who often participated in the art. They were all the same uber rich, self entitled assholes who saw themselves as superior to everyone else, and all had the same dull personality.

Jungkook was a little surprised to find out Namjoon's reasoning for being there, thinking he was some sort of English major judging from the way he was dressed and how he presented himself. 

He seemed unbothered by the childish giggles and not so subtle comments coming from the boys, keeping his cool demeanour in place.

In that moment, as a particularly crude response was said, and Namjoon refused to even bat an eyelid, Jungkook couldn't help but think that the man in front of him, was without a doubt, the coolest guy ever.

He wondered how he could just stand there and ask everyone with a loud and confident voice for a favour, without breaking a sweat or his voice cracking up even once. It was the coolest thing Jungkook could've imagined. He wanted to imprint that moment into his brain, the way Namjoon's expression hadn't changed once, unbothered by everyone and everything.

"I'll do it." He'd managed to say, barely audible.

For the first time, Namjoon had looked at him. His gaze was terrifying to Jungkook, the way it seemed to delve deep into him. His eyes were like ice, making him shiver. He marveled the beauty in front of him.

"Did you say something?" He questioned Jungkook, almost sounding like he was challenging him.

Jungkook gulped, considering changing his mind. "Um, I'll do it, if you want." He hated how his voice sounded like a high pitched squeak, when the man in front of him was able to talk with such a low, brassy voice.

He stared down at him for a few more seconds, before a huge smile grew on his face, completely changing his expression. Dimples peaked out from his cheeks, and his eyes turned into small moon shapes. Gone was the cold but cool presence that Jungkook had felt only seconds ago, now replaced with something much warmer and comforting.

"That's a relief. I was beginning to think that I would have to be the one to carry around that heavy set, and I don't really have the abs to do that type of lifting," he says softly, beaming down at him.

Despite having lost the previous demeanour, Jungkook still thought he was seriously cool. The coolest guy ever.

"Why are you sorry? I'm honoured you drew me this way. Is it superman? That's so cool! You're so cool, Jungkook."

He was suddenly pulled back into the present, with the guy who he had admired so much practically grinning right at him.

Him? Cool? It seemed like a joke to call Jungkook that. He was honestly the lamest guy he knew, and he knew a lot of lame guys. Jimin and Hoseok were good examples. Namjoon calling him cool, was like Cinderella calling one of the ugly step sisters pretty. It just didn't make sense.

"Is it okay if I keep it? No ones ever drawn a picture of me before," Namjoon continues, holding his hand out.

If Jungkook's blush grew any bolder, he'd be used as a stop sign for traffic. "Sure, it's fine."

Namjoon smiled softly, prying the picture from Jungkook's hands and gleaming down at it. He was so pleased, and Jungkook didn't understand. Wasn't he freaked out that he had secretly been drawing pictures of him? It wasn't romantic in a draw me like one of your french girls type of way, it was more of a peeping tom kind of way. At least, that's what it felt like to him.

"Maybe you could draw out the directions for me instead? The crew are having a hard time trying to decode my pictures, I'm sure they would prefer someone with actual artistic skills to give them a proper drawing." He folded the picture up carefully, placing it back into his pocket, making Jungkook wonder what he would do with it later.

"Don't you have someone better for that? I'm really not all that special, you know," he says, sounding insecure.

"Well, I would've asked Seokjin hyung to draw it out for me usually, but he hasn't showed up." They both look around the theatre, no traces of the actor to be found.

Jungkook's thoughts turn sour at the mention of Seokjin. He was partly glad the jerk hadn't shown his face today, as he was sure he'd end up punching him square in the jaw, despite having promised Jimin he'd apologise. 

Asshole would've deserved it.

"This is the same guy who is pretty strict on punctuality and being on time, as well," he sighs, leaning his head back against the wall. "But of all the rehearsals he could've missed, I'm glad it's this one. I'm already fighting with him over costume design, I don't need him here dictating and criticising every decision I make. He can be incredibly insufferable."

Jungkook could believe that. 

Of all the people Jimin had to befriend, it had to be Kim jerk face Seokjin. Hoseok had called him last night in a frantic mess, explaining how Jimin had gotten into a horrible accident, and that jerk face took him away in his car, like some royal prince charming. Yuck.

He was certain Jimin was still with him now, considering he never returned home. The thought of his closest friend spending the night at the spawn of satan's pit made his blood boil. Why couldn't Jimin see him the way Jungkook did? The way he was just using Jimin for his own personal gain, only to throw him away when he was finished with him.

There was no way he was going to apologise to a scumbag like that.

"You're frowning," Namjoon mentioned, pointing out the obvious frustration emitting from Jungkook. "What's got you so worked up all of a sudden?"

Jungkook didn't answer. Instead he pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Jimin. Something short and simple, knowing full well it would piss him off. Jungkook was beyond caring.

"Is it to do with Jimin?" Namjoon pushes again, not so subtly peering over Jungkook's shoulder. The close contact almost made him throw his phone into the air.

"Something like that," he mumbled, pressing send. "He's been hanging around this guy a lot lately, and this guy is a complete waste of space asshole."

Namjoon nods, listening to him carefully.

"Jimin's a pretty sensitive guy. So I know for a fact that when this shit head hurts him, which he definitely will, that it's going to completely destroy him."

He hadn't voiced those thoughts to anyone before, and doing so made him even more certain about it.

Seokjin was bad for Jimin. He was going to hurt him.

"Have you ever told Jimin these things?" Namjoon asked, eyes seemingly searching for more answers.

"Well, not in those words exactly," Jungkook half lied. He mentally high five himself for not stuttering his answer for once. "But I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel."

Namjoon looked understanding, as if he could see exactly what Jungkook's intentions were from the beginning. "I think this is something you need to let Jimin figure out on his own. I get you're trying to save someone from getting hurt, but sometimes being hurt by someone you deeply care about is the only way for you to truly see someone for who they are. There's no point trying to change something that's going to happen anyway, just try and be there for him when he needs you."

Jungkook watched him closely as he spoke, trying him best to understand what he was saying, but he just couldn't. He couldn't understand standing by the sidelines and letting bad things happen when he could've prevented them. He couldn't understand Jimin not being able to see things clearly in the first place, why he couldn't see how he was just another pawn on Kim Seokjin's chess board, waiting to be commanded.

Maybe just for once in his life, Namjoon was wrong about something.

He had let Jimin down countless times already. He had been the one to hurt him time and time again, without even realising it. So this time, he was going to repay Jimin, and make sure that no one would ever hurt him like that again, especially not some two faced actor.

Kim Seokjin was a pure blooded snake. Just like his good for nothing brother.

Chapter Text

How do you describe Kim Seokjin? It felt as if Jimin had been trying to find the right words since the day they met.

"Stop whining and read the next line. I need to know my cue," Seokjin says, tapping the script that was tightly clutched in Jimin's small hands.

Jimin blows out a deep breath and turns the page. Seokjin had promised a fun adventure today. He had said they were going on a field trip. Instead, they were sat on a bench outside a dog café in Hongdae, reading the script for the play so Seokjin could perfect his already flawless line delivery. Jimin had gotten himself pretty excited over nothing.

They had briefly stooped on the way at Jimin's apartment so he could change out of his clothes from yesterday. Jimin felt so much better being in a set of clean clothes, especially after the night he'd experienced. If he had the choice, he would've showered as well, to cleanse his body and mind of all the anxiety and horror yesterday, and also to rid of the strawberry smell that had been filling his senses ever since he had entered Seokjin's apartment, but it wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. However, Seokjin had hurried him, claiming they had a lot of important things to do today.

Apparently, that meant sitting and reading the same line over and over again until Seokjin was finally satisfied.

Seokjin cleared his voice, and began reciting his long monologue that he had been acting all giddy about all morning, saying how he really wanted to show it to Jimin and get his opinion. He spoke slowly, eyes flutter closed as he fully embraced his character and the words written for him. His voice is low and gentle, almost a whisper. 

He looks like an angel to Jimin, gold dripping from his voice and his words and his expression. It was all pure gold. He has to remind himself that Seokjin is an actor, that it's his job to try and gain a reaction from his audience, to make them feel whatever the character is trying to portray across. It's all just an act. He had told Jimin himself.

When he finishes his speech, his eyes quickly open again, the sad and lonely sorcerer that he was only seconds ago now replaced by the cheerful Seokjin that Jimin knew and admired.

"So? What are your thoughts?" He asks, scanning Jimin's eyes for an answer. "Was it too moody? Do you think I could've been more aggressive?"

Seokjin leans forward a little, letting Jimin get another whiff of strawberries. A scent he felt himself quickly growing addicted to.

"I think…" Jimin gulps, adverting his eyes. "I think I need a breather from all this play bullshit."

Seokjin shakes his head in amusement, chuckling at Jimin's response. "Listen, when we are done with this play bullshit, we'll go and have some proper fun. I promise."

Jimin half glares at Seokjin. "You said that earlier as well. Are you lying to me?"

"Is this the face of a liar?" Seokjin lets his bottom lip fall into a cute pout.

But you already are a liar, Jimin let's himself think.

He immediately scolds himself. That's not fair on Seokjin. He already promised himself that he'd stop thinking that way, that he'd let Seokjin open up naturally.

"Stop distracting me. I need your opinions!" Seokjin slaps Jimin's knee, not really causing him much pain.

"Alright, alright!" Jimin readjusts himself in his seat, gathering his thoughts in his head. What would Seokjin want to hear from him? "Well… maybe you could, I don't know, be a bit louder?"

Seokjin scoffs and looks disappointed by his answer. "I don't want an answer like that. I want your real opinions. What are you really thinking right now?" He tilts his head. "We've talked about this scene forever; me, Yoongi and Namjoon, that is. We all have our own opinions, and we need a fresh perspective. In this scene the sorcerer is expressing his inner turmoil to the artist, the way he will never be able to love another person, and how his curse is always eating him up inside, but none of that matters anymore. His only priority is breaking the artists curse instead, putting the protagonist before himself. The question we have been asking is, are these instant confessions of passion and raw emotions his own form of manipulation, or is it a love declaration?"

Jimin stares at Seokjin for a moment, considering his answer. "I think the sorcerer is dumb."

Seokjin blinks. "That wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Care to explain?"

Jimin's eyes blink slowly as a frown forms on his face. "I mean, he's supposed to be this all powerful and all knowing sorcerer, right? If he is apparently the solution for everyones problems and curses, why doesn't he ever consider himself? Why doesn't he ever try to save himself from his own downfall? He's so stupid he doesn't even realise how miserable he should be."

Seokjin looked surprised, shifting his head to look more closely at Jimin. "That didn't quite answer my question, but that's certainly an interesting point of view. I've never really questioned his stupidity before."

Jimin felt a flush creep its way up his neck. Seokjin way of talking made it feel like he approved of Jimin's words. He hated the way he so easily could affect Jimin, the way it almost instantly brought a burst of warmth to his cheeks.

"Well, as for what you had asked," Jimin managed to continue, impressing himself. "I'm not really sure if it's manipulation or a love declaration. The two characters barely know each other for either of those things to be completely true. It could be both of them for all we know, or it could be neither. But I do think that there's something special between them. Like they had this instant connection, and the feeling to protect each other kind of overtook their ability to think rationally." The powerful gaze of Seokjin almost made Jimin's voice wobble. "Sometimes, when you meet someone who is going to change your life completely… you just know it, I guess."

Seokjin's expression is unreadable and Jimin wonders if he said too much. He left his words hanging in the air and now there was silence between them.

Finally, Seokjin breaks the silence with a huge grin. "Again, not the answer I had been looking for, but it's definitely interesting. You have a lot more intellect than it looks."

Jimin frowns again. "What's that supposed to mean? Do I look dumb to you?"

"I never said that," Seokjin says, smirking. "Now, moving on. Let's practice this last scene and then we can do whatever you want."

Jimin thinks for a moment. "Whatever I want?"

Seokjin's smile grows. "Whatever you want."

Multiple scenarios fill Jimin's mind of what they could do and where they could go all in an instant. What kind of place could a guy like Park Jimin take a person like Kim Seokjin to?

"It's this page here," Seokjin grabs the script again and flicking the pages. "It's towards the end of act one, and this time, please try and play the part. It's hard for me to practice with a sub par partner."

There's the bratty attitude Jimin both loved and hated. It came out whenever Seokjin was feeling frustrated or annoyed. Jimin hadn't made up his mind if he enjoyed seeing it or not. 

Jimin sighs heavily, before reading out his line for Seokjin. "You should step away from that flame. You're standing far too close, your robes will catch fire if you aren't too cautious."

His voice sounds dull and lacking of any real empathy compared to Seokjin, who has mastered the art of wearing his emotions on his sleeve when desired.

"But it's so beautiful," Seokjin chants, looking off into the distance, as if he were really looking at a blazing fire right in front of him. "The colour that the flames produce, it's truly unlike anything I've ever seen before."

"I guess so," Jimin responds, remembering how the artist had lost his ability to see colour. It felt like the sorcerer was mocking him slightly in that moment, boasting his ability to experience what it was that the artist desired to see the most.

Seokjin lets out a small chuckle. "Don't act like you aren't utterly mesmerised by it. Even without colour, it's still one of the most beautiful things mankind can ever witness. You remember the colours, right? The reds, the yellows, the oranges, all burning brightly and shamelessly, with no control or predictability." He pauses for a moment, just like it said in the script Jimin was holding. "Don't you see? We're all so drawn to it, that we don't realise the danger, just like a moth."

Jimin raises an eyebrow. "Danger?"

"Fire is blinding, Birdie," Seokjin says, the nickname that the sorcerer had for the artist making Jimin nearly giggle. "It's just like darkness, you know. Both can blind us in an instant. But darkness blinds with absence, with loss."

"And what's the difference? If darkness blinds with absence, what does fire blind with?" Jimin asks, feeling himself understand the character. He was asking all the questions Jimin had been wondering. Did that mean Seokjin understood how the sorcerer felt too? Did he connect to him?

He smiles at Jimin sweetly, looking down at his hands. "Beauty." He watches his flingers move about slowly. "Sometimes, without knowing or fully understanding, theres a greater beauty yet to come, and before we know it, we're surrounded by it, consumed by the beauty. But fire is jealous. Fire is selfish, just like us. It wants all the beauty for itself, not willing to share. That's why you need to be careful."

"Careful of what?"

He puts his arms down, looking directly at Jimin once more. "Of getting burned."

~

Eventually, they relocated to a small park not too far away. Seokjin hadn't given Jimin the chance to sit and think of something for them to do together, so Seokjin decided to take the reins on the horse and choose for him, because that's just the type of guy he is. Jimin immediately crumbled onto the crisp grassy ground, relieved to have finished reading that damn script with Seokjin. He felt lost in his own haven, with sky looking so blue and perfect. 

It didn't take long for those few moments of pure bliss to be rudely interrupted by a hard object being shoved into his chest. It was a notebook and a pencil. "Ouch! That hurt, you know!"

Seokjin grinned above him, somehow blending into the perfect view of the sky Jimin was staring at. He sat himself down beside Jimin, holding his own utensils in his hands, and began to quickly scribble down onto the paper.

"I thought I was going to choose where to go next," Jimin grumbled, slowly leaning up into a sitting position. "What are you writing?"

"I only brought us here because someone couldn't make up their mind," Seokjin smirked, pausing his writing to glance at Jimin. "And besides, I knew you would like it here."

He definitely wasn't wrong. Jimin had loved this area. It was so peaceful and quiet, despite being a popular spot for couples and families. He had only come here a few times before to study quietly, each time getting a little distracted by the scenery. A sense of mystery washed over him as he noticed the look on Seokjin's face, and excitement bubbled in his belly.

Was this always how it would be with Seokjin? Everything felt like nothing he had expected, always going in the complete opposite directions of what he had previously thought. The anticipation of what they would do next, where they would go together, made his stomach flutter just a little.

He tried to sneak a peak at Seokjin's writing, but he quickly turned the notebook away before Jimin's peering eyes could see anything. "We are both going to write a list of things we hate about ourselves. Go on, start writing."

Jimin's amusement is quickly wiped off his face. Was this Seokjin's idea of fun? The thought of writing a list of things that he hated about himself made him want to go to sleep and never wake up again. He couldn't think of a possible motive or reasoning behind Seokjin's request. "Why?"

"No questions. Just writing." He continues to write his own list, quickly scribbling further and further down the page. Jimin couldn't imagine what Seokjin could possibly hate about himself.

It hurt Jimin to think that Seokjin had that many things he disliked about himself. His heart felt incredibly heavy in that moment. He quickly stares back at his own paper to distract himself, suddenly feeling his heart drop even more. There wasn't enough paper in this whole notebook for his list about himself.

~

This was tearing Jimin apart from the inside.

It had only been ten minutes since he started writing, but he already had two full pages of bullet points, all sharing his deepest and most hated things about himself. His hand was starting to cramp. His mind was aching and begging him to stop. His eyes felt like they would burst with tears any minute now. His throat was tight and hot, holding back a sob.

All the pain he was feeling right now, the pathetic and sad points he had written down, could rival any Shakespeare tragedy. He hated how to all came too easily to him, how every minute he thought of something new, something so stupid in someone else eyes, but behind his own they meant the universe. He never noticed how much self loathing he was filled with until that moment.

He decides to throw his notepad and pencil aside, unable to put himself through any more mental torture. "What was the point in this? Why would you make me do that?" He laughs, voice cracking a little. Don't fucking cry don't fucking cry don't fucking cry, he pleads to himself mentally. 

Seokjin doesn't answer, his eyes turning sour and shoulders looking tense. What was he thinking? Was he sharing the same pain?

Instead, he rips out the pages from his notepad, and tears it up into tiny pieces. A satisfied look appears on his face as he lets the small fragments fly away in the wind, floating away into the atmosphere. He lets out a slightly shaky breath, smiling as the last of the pieces fall off the palm of his hand. His shoulders relaxed and the sour look disappeared. He turns to Jimin. "It's your turn now."

Jimin wasn't sure how to feel. Surely just ripping up a piece of paper filled with self hatred and loathing couldn't just make it all disappear, could it? If it was that simple, he would've done it years ago, long before he could ever learn to hate himself.

He takes another look at his list, making a mental note of everything he had written down, how much each thing tugged on his heart individually. He wanted them to all just vanish into thin air, to float away like the small pieces of paper. He shut his eyes, and started to rip it all up, without a second thought. He doesn't stop until the pieces are so small, you could never piece them back together. Everything on that list, torn apart at his own hands. All of a sudden, it was the best feeling in the world.

He clenches the paper in his hands, the gently lets them fly away just like Seokjin did, and watches them float away, heading into different directions.

It didn't completely erase all his self loathing, it didn't suddenly make him forget all the things he wish he could change about himself, it was never that simple, but in that moment, he had a glimmer of hope.

He won't always feel this way, this feeling of longing and yearning, that he would go back to hid usually state of mind in a matter of days, he knows that he is always going to wish he could be better than what he always it, that there will always be someone else better than him, that he will never fully accept himself, but for a brief moment, he felt free.

"I still think going to see a movie could've been equally as entertaining, but this wasn't so bad after all," he smiled, looking down at his lap. "I totally hate you for making me write all that stuff down, though."

"It isn't a bad thing to reflect on ourselves, you know. Instead of hating our flaws, why not embrace them? And if we can't embrace them, rip them up and throw them away," Seokjin half smiles, sounding a little sad. "Maybe we should start remembering the good things about ourselves as well…" He picks up his pencil again. "Which is why we are going to write a second list. This time, about the things we love, or at least like about ourselves, got it?"

When he starts writing again, it doesn't take long for him to notice how difficult they were both finding it. After that excruciating list he had written before, it was particularly hard to suddenly forget all that and write positive things instead. After half a page is full, he give up, lying back into the grass like earlier. Looking over at Seokjin, it seemed like he was struggling just as much as Jimin.

If Jimin had half the amazing qualities Seokjin did, his list would be sixty pages long.

"Didn't realise it would be this hard," Seokjin whispers, chewing his pencil. "Well, at least we have a list, regardless of how small. It's important we hold onto that." His voice is lighthearted and cheery, the optimism dripping from his voice. It makes Jimin feel warm. The comforting words and tone brought a strange sense to him that he could only describe as safety.

"Okay, now one more list. This time, we are going to write about each other," he informs Jimin. He quickly started writing, even faster than he had before, shocking Jimin to his core. "Lets remind ourselves that we see things in other people that we couldn't imagine in ourselves."

Jimin honestly had no idea where to start.

He barely knew Seokjin, still waiting to see and learn so much more about him, excited to experience him through multiple experiences. Despite that, he already had so much to write, but what could he even start with? His heart felt like it started to beat faster as the different things about Seokjin crossed his mind, a smile forming on his lips.

Your hands are warm.

Looking at the paper in his lap, his neck starts to feel hot, and he's convinced he must be blushing right now. Luckily, Seokjin was too embodied in his own writing to notice.

Your laugh is one of my favourite sounds.

The memory of Seokjin's giggles at the party, squeaky and bubbly, filling Jimin's mind and senses pleasantly.

I've never met anyone like you before.

I love how strong you always seem, even if you are just playing a character.

Your smile is blinding.

You probably get this a lot, but you're the most talented person I've ever met. 

I get this feeling that you're never intentionally mean to anyone. I don't know, it just feels impossible for you to actually want to hurt or upset anyone.

You make me feel excited for everything, and for nothing.

You make me want to be better.

You're a NERD. That's cute.

I feel like I could tell you anything, and you wouldn't judge me, and actually listen.

I'm always on the edge when I'm around you. That could also be a bad thing, but I don't think that could ever happen with you.

You ain't afraid to do what you love. I admire you so much.

You are so supportive.

Even the most mundane things feel like an adventure when I'm with you.

You make people feel so good about themselves.

You also make them feel important.

You're so easy to like, I can't imagine why anyone would hate you.

You're real with people. You're honest, and you don't beat around the bush, you just get straight to the point. I think being honest with someone is better than lying.

You truly live your life to the fullest.

Your love for performing and acting is so amazing.

The way your voice lights up when you talk about the things you love is so endearing.

You're so quick to give out compliments. That's, like, the best thing ever bro.

You stay true to yourself and your beliefs. You don't get swayed easily.

You're kinda wild, but also grounded? I hope that makes sense.

You really inspire me (and probably everyone who meets you)

You always smile at strangers, which is a small gesture, but I'm sure it means a lot to people.

You're just so different…. in a good way!

When you perform, I can only ever see you, like no one else exists in that moment, only you. You have that type of effect on people.

I imagine saying goodbye to you being one of the worst feelings in the world.

He pauses after writing that, and starts to scribble it out instantly. Why did he write that? It was such a heart breaking thought, as heart breaking as the things he hated about himself. He had no reason to think that he would ever have to say goodbye to Seokjin.

except he did.

When the show was over. He would then have no reason to ever seen Seokjin again.

"Are you done?" Seokjin interrupted his thoughts. "Can I see?"

"Wait, we're sharing these?" His voice stumbles out, holding onto his notebook protectively. If Seokjin ever saw these things, he'd probably die of humiliation.

"Of course, stupid," Seokjin rolls his eyes. "Don't you want to see all the nice things I've written about you?"

Jimin couldn't lie that his heart was a little intrigued, but also scared of the possible disappointment. He had practically poured his heart out onto that piece of paper, and it was highly possible Seokjin has only written things like u have nice hair lol XD. He'd rather never know instead of being faced with that reality.

"Come on, stop being so shy. I think you could benefit from hearing some of these things," Seokjin says, holding out the paper. "How about we both read them when we're alone, does that sound better?"

Jimin still felt unsure, but before he could agree or disagree, Seokjin had snatched the paper out of his clutches. "Give that back!"

"Not gonna happen," Seokjin stuck his tongue out, wiggling it around.

Jimin quickly jumps onto his feat to snatch it straight back, but Seokjin is quicker and already gotten up and started running away. This felt stupid and immature, but Jimin wasn't going to let Seokjin just get away with this.

It didn't take long for him to catch up, since he was remarkably faster than the older man. He took the paper out of his hand and ran in the opposite direction, the yells and protests of Seokjin growing more distant as Jimin ran triumphantly. He felt like such a child in that moment, but it wasn't exactly pleasant. He quite enjoyed how childish he felt around Seokjin, and how equally youthful and immature Seokjin actually was.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and all of a sudden he was being pushed down onto the hard ground. The crash into the grass was followed by loud groans, all coming from Jimin. As they had landed, Seokjin's head crashed into Jimin's, his sharp elbows pressed into his stomach, and and air that had previously inhabited his lungs had been forced out once Seokjin collapsed on top of him. He felt himself painfully gasping for breath, the pain from all over his body throbbing horridly.

"Oh my god, I'm so so sorry, Jiminie! I didn't mean to push you over like that." Seokjin started apologising straight away, removing himself from on top of the flattened Jimin. As he continued to apologise, Jimin could barely pay any attention, deciding to just focus on catching his breath. He eventually rolls over to see Seokjin bowing his head over and over, still saying sorry.

"I'm really sorry," He says again, placing his hand on Jimin's chest, probably feeling his fast heartbeat caused from the adrenaline. "Please forgive me."

Jimin places one of his bandaged hands over his eyes, and the other on top of Seokjin's. "Please stop talking."

"But I-"

"Shh."

"Jimin-"

"Shh!"

Then silence falls between them. Jimin can feel the gust of win blowing across his skin, gently brushing his hair from side to side. He wonders how Seokjin looks right now, how his face reacted to Jimin's bold gesture, and to the commanding tone in his voice, but Jimin was too scared to look. It was one of the things he had written about himself on his list: he was a huge coward. The chirping of birds sounded pleasant in his hears, bringing him back to the peace he felt when he first lay down on the grass earlier. He feels Seokjin's hand turn in his, so he could clutch Jimin's hand instead of his heart. The pads of his fingers rub Jimin's hand; sensitive and sweet touches that makes his skin tingle and goosebumps instantly run up his arms. 

In that moment, this was Jimin's whole world. Just him, the birds, the grass, the breeze, and Seokjin, who was rubbing circles into Jimin's numbing hand. He is reminded of the first thing he wrote about Seokjin. His hands are always so warm. His world was filled with safety.

That was one of his many powers. Seokjin made him feel safe. He would hold onto that for as long as he could.

~

"The library?" Seokjin sulked, sounding like an angry toddler.

Jimin nodded, grabbing Seokjin's wrist and pulling him inside the building.

After their trip to the park, Seokjin finally caved in and let Jimin choose their next destination, since he did add about twenty five bruises to Jimin's body. It only seemed fair for Jimin to get the right to dictate for a chance.

He had chosen to take Seokjin to the library, despite his protests. 

"Yes, the library. It's my turn to pick, remember?"

After a few more huffs and groans and whines, Seokjin willingly followed Jimin into the building obediently. 

Jimin really did love it here. It was one of his favourite places to go and study, other than his own room. Whenever he needed a new scenery to clear his mind and remove himself from technology, he would come to the library. It was quiet, and filled with books that were equally as helpful as any internet article. Unlike the park, he could start focused here and actually get work done. As a double major, he needed to keep half his focus on his other subject, science. Unlike dance and performing, he had never really struggled with the subject, which was why it was one of the few things he could proudly say he was good at.

He grabbed a few books and flicked through them, familiarising himself with the topics as they flicked past. After a while, he noticed Seokjin drifting down each and every isle, almost having forgot that he was here with him today. It was interesting to see such a bold character like Seokjin blend in to a crowd like a public library, and he surprising did it very well. He was incredibly well behaved, not raising his voice even once to annoy the fellow book lovers gathered at the library. He saw Seokjin picking out multiple genres of books; fiction, non fiction, sci fi, mystery, romance, drama, tragedy, political, biographies, the whole shebang. He watched as the older man picked out these books, wondering what he was up to. Seokjin reached into his pocket, and pulled out a biro pen, opening up the book to a random page, and began to commit the worst crime you could possibly commit in any library: he started to write on the paper.

Jimin quickly hurried over to him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he hissed, trying not to attract any attention. "Are you trying to get us thrown out?"

"Relax, no one's watching," Seokjin whispered, winking at him.

"This isn't the place to start writing another one of your lists, these are public books, they aren't yours to scribble on," Jimin said, the frustration in his voice as clear as day.

Seokjin ignored him, closing the book and placing it back on the shelf. He turned and walked to the opposite self, picking out another book and placing his pen on the paper.

"What are you even writing?" Jimin turned to the book criminal, watching as he vandalised it shamelessly.

"Letters."

Jimin sent him a baffled look, raising an eyebrow. Seokjin only grinned back at him amusingly, shutting the second book the quickly running to another shelf.

"To who?" He follows Seokjin again.

Seokjin pulls out a large book of fairytales and opens it to a random page. "To people." He writes another quick message and closes it, placing it carefully back where it belongs. He holds out his hand to Jimin. "Book, please."

Jimin blinks, confused.

"If you are going to follow me around, you might as well become my accomplice. Pick out a book. Any book."

Jimin isn't sure why, but he complies, picking up a copy of Alice in wonderland off the shelf below and handing it to him. Seokjin quickly takes it and writes down a small message. "Next," he says, handing the book back.

Jimin leads him to another isle filled with dietary books, and picks up some random healthy recipes cookbook and gives it to him. "Why are you even doing this? What's the point?" He was convinced it must've been pure boredom, or that Seokjin was secretly a real criminal at heart. Prince Charming by day, book vandaliser by night.

"There is no point," he says nonchalantly. "I just want to write a message to somebody, anybody, and maybe tell them something they might really need to hear. Maybe someone will read these books some day, and think that it was stupid to write these things, but maybe someone will read them and it'll mean something to them. It's small and simple, but it's something."

Seokjin nods his head at the shelf, looking proud of himself. Jimin can only stare it in in awe, how a person like this actually exists. How he is everything good in this world, all compressed into one person. Seokjin had so many inspirations, he could barely keep them all contained. The list he had written about Seokjin was in the other mans pocket, waiting to be read. The other lay in Jimin's pocket, also unwitnessed by his own eyes. He isn't sure if he's ready to read it, or if he ever will be. He wants to see Seokjin's reaction. He want's him to never read it. He wants to see the way his face lights up as he reads Jimin's honest words. He wants to tear the paper up into tiny threads just as he did with his hate list.

That was the ying and yang that came with knowing Kim Seokjin.

~

"Don't you just love this time of day? Isn't the sky so clear and beautiful? I fell like I'm in heaven," Seokjin sighed peacefully, walking a head of Jimin.

After they left the library, Jimin had left it up to Seokjin to decide where to go next. It ended up with them just walking and talking, not really going anywhere or doing anything, just being them.

The sun had began to set, and orange hues took over the sky the further and longer they walked. He saw this view constantly ever since he moved to Seoul, so it was nothing special or out of the ordinary, but seeing it with Seokjin, experiencing the skylight with him felt like something new. Just seeing the same sky as Seokjin makes familiar scenery look different.

Jimin's feet ached a little, but he wounded dare let it ruin this day. It had been truly wonderful, and no little thing such as aching feet would change that for Jimin.

"It's nice, I guess," Jimin responds, sounding a little too distant for his own liking.

Seokjin notices, halting his steps and looking directly at Jimin. "What are you thinking right now?" He tilts his head a little. "You can be honest, I want to know what you're feeling."

Jimin wants to tell him that he isn't thinking about the sky, or his feet that hurt like hell, or the way Seokjin looked like he was practically glowing in the golden light. He was thinking about how amazing this whole day was, how it felt like everything amazing was happening to him all at once without realising, but he had no idea how to explain it. He had been thinking about it all day on repeat, like a broken record playing the same two songs. The more he thought about it the crazier everything seemed, which tended to happen whenever Jimin psycho analysed anything.

"I'm not really sure," He responds, as honest as possible. "The only thing I'm sure about is that everything's been magical ever since I met you."

There, Jimin said it, and he didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed for once in his life.

This whole day had been a big boost to his ego and confidence, so it just rolled off his tongue like it was nothing. Tomorrow, he would go back to his usual shy and scared demeanour, but just for once, he was allowed to feel a little bit good about himself. For once, he would let himself be like Seokjin.

He looked taken aback by Jimin's answer, and Jimin swore the tips of his ears were turning pink, but it could just be the light. Or his imagination. Or both.

"Let's leave this place."

Now Jimin is incredibly confused. "What?" He asks, not sure if he heard Seokjin correctly.

"Let's get out of here. After the show is done, let's go somewhere together, and never look back. Just you and me. For real."

He had to be joking, right? Despite the serious and determined look in Seokjin's eyes, Jimin couldn't believe he was that spontaneous and straightforward. It was utter madness.

The thought of going away with Seokjin, far away from Seoul, from his comfort zone, from everything he knows and is familiar with, sent the most weird and wonderful shivers down his spine.

He isn't going to say goodbye to Seokjin.

The small fear that had grown into his mind earlier was quickly squashed in a instant. There wasn't going to be any goodbyes. Seokjin wanted Jimin to travel with him, he wanted to go far away together. He could've asked anyone in the world, but he chose Jimin.

"I really mean it," Seokjin continues. "I know that sometimes I say things that don't make sense or sound totally crazy, well maybe I am crazy, but I really want this. Will you come with me?"

Yes!

It was the same as when Seokjin had first asked him to join him in their show, but this time, he wants to leave the country. It was just as crazy, just as unbelievable and an incredibly big jump for Jimin to take, but just like before, every nerve in his body was screaming to say yes.

Take a chance… he'd been starting to live by those words recently.

Jimin let's out a small chuckle, shaking his head at how absurd this all was. "Fine then, Mr Crazy. Where are we going?"

When he glances at Seokjin, he is practically beaming at Jimin with the wildest look of glee across his features. "How about you tell me? What wildly bizarre and twisted location does Park Jimin plus Kim Seokjin equal?"

"Um… LA? New York? London?" Jimin questions, saying the first cities that came to his mind.

"Obviously, but think bigger!" Seokjin smirks, looking at Jimin with his shimmering eyes. "What is the single most fantastic place on the earth, perfect for both of us."

"I still think those cities are pretty great for us…" Jimin mutters. "I don't know… Paris?"

Seokjin snaps his fingers. "You nailed it." His overdramatic tone almost makes Jimin burst out into laughter. "Think about it, is there really any place better? Haven't you always wanted to go to the ballet? The opera? It's a city of beginnings, where so much started. It's filled with art, cuisine, and of course, theatre."

Jimin wasn't a fool, he obviously knew all about the French culture and the impact it had on the dance industry. It was a city he had always wanted to go to, but was never given the chance. However, going to Paris with Seokjin seemed a little too… romantic?

"Just picture it," Seokjin starts his story. "You and me, drinking fine wine with cheese outside a beautiful French café not far from the Louvre and singing la vie en rose, meeting and making friends with the locals, and then suddenly this cute French guy will pass by and ask you to join him for the evening, and I'll tell him that you're already occupied tonight, so back off."

"God, you're so full of shit," Jimin giggles. "I bet no one there speaks Korean, you really think some random guy will start speaking to me fluently? Or do you expect me to speak French?"

Seokjin ponders the thought, brows creasing and rising in consideration and lips pursed into a line. He starts tutting loudly. "Can't you play along for once? I'm an actor, humour me a little."

Jimin wonders if this day can get any weirder, if that is even possible. "You… you have got to be the strangest person I've ever met," he hums, shaking his head once more at the incredible specimen before him.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Seokjin says with confidence, poking Jimin's side harshly, but not hard enough for it to actually hurt. "So do you feel ready yet?"

"Ready?" Jimin pauses. "For what?"

"To start choreographing your piece for the show."

Oh. They were talking about the play again. Figures Seokjin couldn't go a couple of hours without bringing it up.

"Why are you hesitating? You love dance, I knew it the first time I saw you. It's your dream, isn't it? It's right in front of you and you're wavering? You gotta be reckless and just go for it! I know you have got it in you to be great."

There was probably ten seconds of silence, both of them just standing there, staring into each others eyes, each others souls, not saying a word, not moving an inch, not breathing a gasp. Jimin can feel his heart beating inside his chest, and he can really feel every beat so clearly, hearing it and feeling it in his ears through to his tips of his toes. He realises that he's alive. He's alive, and he's wasting it. He doesn't want to just know it, he wants to feel it, just like he did today. He wants to feel alive always, to hear his heart beat in his ears and feel his skin burn under his fingertips.

It felt like the colours that were spread throughout the sky were entering his veins, tainting his blood. He could feel the burning passion, the flicker of a candle in his heart that had been stone cold for far too long.

For the hundredth time that day, Kim fucking Seokjin was right.

He was ready.

There was a buzz in his pocket coming from his phone, and he slipped it out to check the message.

make sure to wrap it up tonight, homo 

One of these days he would kick his roommates ass for good.

He probably thought he was being hilarious sending Jimin that text, and if had been about any other date, any other hook up, Jimin might've found it funny as well. But since it was about Seokjin, there was no doubt a hint of malice underlying his words.

The kid seriously needed to grow up.

Jimin wouldn't let a stupid text like that ruin his mood, after all, he's learnt a lot today about himself, and considers himself to have matured, at least a little.

"Let me guess, judging from the sour look on your face, it's your roommate?" Seokjin asks, hitting the nail on the spot.

"If you mean my soon to be ex-roommate, then yes," Jimin sighs, shoving the phone back in his pocket. "Sorry, I've ruined the mood, haven't I?"

Seokjin shakes his head. "No you haven't, if anyones to blame it's the brat."

"He's really not that bad…" Jimin begins, not really sure why he feels the need to stick up for his friend. "Well, he didn't used to be, at least." He runs his hand through his hair, like he does when he's stressed or nervous. "Jungkook's a legit jock, like the type that spends hours a day in the gym or running laps and has nicknames for his biceps. He's so passionate, and sometimes the passion turns into anger, and he's never been good at expelling that pent up passion in a healthy way. The only way the works for him is either taking it all out on others, or throwing balls in hoops and into nets, or whatever." 

Memories of high school reappeared in his mind, of meeting thirteen year old Jungkook, with his big doe eyes and cute bunny teeth, looking up at the slightly taller Jimin. It wasn't long before he grew taller, stronger, smarter, and tougher, changing completely before Jimin's eyes.

"I think what I'm trying to say is, he's actually not a bad guy," Jimin explains, his throat feeling heavy. How many times would he have to make the same excuses for his friend? "He's the most insufferable and childish person I've ever met, and you're right, he's a complete and utter brat, but he's been a great friend to me for years. Deep down, I know that little kid that I befriended so many years ago is still there. I know that eventually, he will grow out of this phase of his life."

Seokjin sighs, closing his eyes. He looked a little disappointed in Jimin, like he said the wrong thing. "You say deep down he's different, but how deep down is that? And how long exactly has he been 'growing out if it?' Maybe he's in too deep for you to see him anymore." He confesses, not looking Jimin in the eye. "And that's the thing, I'm not sure if I even believe in deep down. I kinda think that all you are is just the things you do. The person on the surface is what matters the most."

Jimin could understand Seokjin's perspective, that it was hopeless to constantly try to see the good in people when it wasn't there, to try and delve deeper in hopes of finding something we want to see, but that wasn't going to change Jimin's mind. He wouldn't give up on Jungkook. He did still see glimmers of his best friend from time to time. He knows Jungkook will grow out of it. He just had to.

The sound of the sailor moon theme song entered the now mildly tense atmosphere, now coming from Seokjin's phone. Such a fitting ringtone for him.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket, grumbling about the irony as he peered at his screen. His expression switched from annoyed to unreadable in a matter of seconds. After staring at his screen for a brief moment whilst the sailor moon theme continued its tune, he locked his screen.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Jimin asked, not liking the look on Seokjin's face. He was getting better at reading Seokjin, noticing small attributes that meant he was happy or angry or embarrassed. He couldn't see a single identifiable feature on Seokjin's face this time, and that scared Jimin a little.

"It's no one important," Seokjin mumbled, barely audible. He started walking again, this time walking much faster and not giving Jimin a chance to catch up properly. He had much longer legs than Jimin, which meant he had to practically jog to keep up with the taller male.

~

Jimin's stomach churned uncomfortably. What had changed? Only moments ago they were laughing and cheering, talking about fake scenarios in Paris and practically planning a life changing trip together, and now they were walking in silence. Not even a nice, warm silence. It was bitter, and cold, filled with uncertainty and confusion.

They hadn't said anything since Jimin's text and Seokjin's unanswered phone call. Whoever it was trying to reach him, Seokjin clearly had a strong disliking of them if they had the ability to change his mood like a light switch.

It vaguely reminded Jimin of the party, how he remembered having the time of his life with Seokjin, and ending the night with shards of glass in his hands and fingers. This couldn't be how every interaction with Seokjin was destined to end, it just couldn't be. Jimin wouldn't let it happen again. Last night, he could've prevented it all, if he hadn't been so selfish and greedy, maybe it would've turned out different. Seokjin treated his wounds, Seokjin opened up to him. There was a chance to turn this around.

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Jimin asks nervously, breaking the silence. 

Seokjin stops in his tracks, making Jimin almost immediately regret saying anything. "I'm fine, Jimin. Actually, I think it's probably best if we call it a day here."

No. Not yet. Jimin had to know what went wrong and how to change it. Just like last night, they would fix the broken damage. Just like Seokjin helped Jimin, he would do the same for Seokjin.

"No, you aren't fine. What's wrong? You always tell me to be honest with you, so now its your turn to be honest with me." Jimin approaches Seokjin, trying not to let himself cower away. 

Seokjin doesn't answer Jimin, making him unsure how to be. It annoys Jimin a little. After a moment, he starts walking again, completely ignoring Jimin and what he said. That annoys him a lot more.

He grabs Seokjin's arm, stopping from from taking another step. "Why can't you answer me?"

"Please just go home, Jimin." His voice was cold, far colder than anything Jimin had ever heard from Seokjin before. He was always so bright, so full of life and warmth. It was the first thing Jimin associated with him. Even when he was calmer and more collected, the warmth in his voice was still there. But this was a completely different Seokjin.

Jimin's stomach tightened even more than he thought possible. His fingers enclosed around Seokjin's arm tighten out of frustration, not wanting to give in to Seokjin's request. "I thought we were having a great day together, I thought you promised me an adventure, so why are you acting like this all of a sudden? How could you let one small thing ruin our perfect day, just like that?"

Seokjin finally looked at Jimin, his eyes as cold as his voice. He's never looked at Jimin like that before, and it makes Jimin want to crawl into a tiny hole and never leave, just like a mouse. He harshly pulls his arm out of Jimin's grasp. "I'm not acting like anything. Is it really that hard for you to understand that I want to be alone right now?"

Seokjin has such much control at his fingertips, he really had no idea. Even Jimin didn't realise the vast power he holds. One moment it feels like the world is bright and beautiful, because that's what Seokjin portrays, but now that he's changed his tone, the sky turned cold, the sun disappeared and the colours turned to grey almost instantly. It was as if the world revolved around Kim Seokjin.

Jimin wasn't sure what he did or said to make Seokjin start acting this way, to hear the venom dripping from his voice when it should feel like gold. Nothing felt like it made sense anymore. "You're right, I don't understand," Jimin mustered out, letting his hair fall into his eyes. "You change out of no where, start ignoring me and talking to me like you don't ever want to see me again, despite having begged me to go to fucking Paris with you only moments ago. I don't understand, because it doesn't make any fucking sense. You can't just turn on me for no reason."

Seokjin huffs out a laugh, even if it's no where near an amused one. "Turn on you? What the hell do you mean by that?" He points directly at Jimin, feeling like he just plunged a knife into his heart. "Oh right, I forgot, it's all about how you feel, isn't it?" He lowers his finger, the bitter smile on his face stronger than before. "It's the Park Jimin show, starring Park Jimin and no one else! Maybe you should try giving a shit about how someone else is feeling for a change."

Jimin feels stunned for a moment, no clue how to respond, especially after Seokjin just ripped his voice out of his throat. It got tighter and tighter, holding back a huge sob and any chance of his voice wobbling. He wouldn't let himself cry, he couldn't. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

"I asked you to leave me alone," Seokjin says, his voice so infuriatingly monotone and condescending.

His heart stops for a moment, the thoughts of Seokjin with his sweet words and kind smiles and tender touches, all feeling like a distant memory.

Seokjin begins to turn around, ready to end this conversation and to leave Jimin here alone, the harsh shards from his words sticking out of Jimin like a dartboard.

"I know you're Mr Perfect and all, with the perfect Prince Charming title and the perfect CEO daddy and the perfect grades and all those perfect little fans kissing your perfect little ass, but seriously? Fuck. You."

What Seokjin says next is physically much more collected than the way Jimin is handling himself, but his next words are just as sharp and primal. "I see. Well, if that's how you feel, then I guess I'll be leaving then. I'll see you around."

Was that it? How it ended? How would Jimin fix this? He was so fucking hurt by Seokjin's cutting words and actions, the damaged and bruised part of his ego wanted to storm off before Seokjin could, so that he could be the one to end this, not the other way around. But the much smaller part of his heart begged him not to go, longed for himself to reach out to Seokjin one last time.

Seokjin started walking, and Jimin could almost hear the ticking of a clock in his head, counting down the seconds he had left until Seokjin was gone, probably for good.

"Wait!"

Jimin ran, as fast as his smaller legs could go, to catch up to the man who made the skies look different. Seokjin stopped, much to Jimin's surprise, and looked back again.

His face wasn't filled with anger anymore, the venom no where to be seen. He looked sorrowful, and that look alone was nearly enough to break the damn of tears Jimin was holding back. It broke him apart.

"Don't go…" Jimin whispered, voice wobbling despite his best efforts. He had to make Seokjin stay, he couldn't let it end like this.

"Why not?"

That triggers something deep inside Jimin, something he had been trying to bury every since the day he first laid eyes on Seokjin. It's like having your deepest fears dug up from the ground and the contents of the chest you'd hidden away now poured out in front of you, demanding an explanation as to why it was cast away.

His throat feels dry, his eyes sting with unshed tears. His most deepest feelings practically hanging from the tip of his tongue, unready for the consequences. Jimin knows what he has to say, it was clear there was only one option at this point. With just a few steps he's stood directly in front of Seokjin, looking up at the beautiful man in front of him.

He feels the darkest sides of himself demanding to just say something, anything, that will let Seokjin know what he's thinking.

"Because… because I don't want to ruin this… just like how I've ruined everything I've ever cared about in my life."

"What are you… what do you mean?" Seokjin asks, his voice is soft and fragile, sounding like he was trying to stop his own voice from breaking, just like Jimin.

This was it. Everything Jimin had been holding back, unleashed in one single moment. He had no choice at this point. He had been backed into a corner and there was no turning back.

"Well.. I mean…. Fuck!" He runs his hand through his hair aggressively, feeling the sweat in his roots. "How else do you expect me to explain? Do you want me to just… say it?"

Seokjin takes a step back to distance himself, but Jimin follows. They are both scared, both not sure what to say or how to respond to anything. It was so new, so raw.

Seokjin gulps. "Say what?"

Jimin heart beats uncontrollably fast, it is almost painful. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but with little success.

You can do it, Jimin.

"You know… I always wondered if I could consider you my friend," Jimin started. "Considering we barely know each other. It always felt wrong to just call you my friend, like we had rushed into things so quickly, and skipped about twenty steps to becoming friends. But today, I think I understand why calling you a friend feels wrong." He joins his hands together to hide the fact that they were shaking. " What we have… it's like a friendship… but… more…"

Seokjin's eyes widen instantly, understanding what Jimin was trying so hard to explain. As a person who has never been particularly good at expressing his thoughts or getting his point across, those few simple words could tell a thousand stories, and Seokjin could see it as clearly as Jimin.

He quickly shut his eyes, not wanting to see anymore of Seokjin's reaction, knowing fully well that it would physically break him. He listened to Seokjin's heavy breathing, imagining the look on his face; His eyes fully blown, his ears bright red, his mouth open ajar, eyes asking a hundred questions and demand a million more answers. Jimin could see it even with his eyes shut tightly, the image burned into his memory.

"Oh…"

Ice coated all of Jimin's insides. One word, and he heard more than he needed to hear.

He wished he ran away when he had the chance, before opening his big stupid mouth and saying the most stupid things, but there was no going back now.

"Yeah…" Is all he can think of to say. His mind is blank. Where did all that passion and those endless raw feelings disappear to? They were shot down by Seokjin's one worded response. "Today… Today was the best day I've had since I moved to Seoul. I couldn't let it end that way, when you were going to just leave me, I had to do something, but I might've made it worse." Should he open his eyes? Does he dare? "Everything that has happened today, it made me realise  so much… about me, about you, about us…."

He opens his eyes, and just as he had expected, the picture was as perfect as he had imagined, except his ears were only a little pink, and it was also spreading up his neck. If they had been in any other situation, Jimin would've found it cute and endearing.

"Please say something," Jimin choked out, unable to bear this any longer.

Seokjin opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. Never in a million years did Jimin think he would ever see Kim Seokjin at a loss for words. This really was a day of revelations.

"Jimin…" He finally manages to say, still thinking over his words. "Jimin… I'm sorry…"

That was it. The moment you could physically hear Jimin's heart torn into tiny pieces, just like the hate list he skilfully ripped apart. Jimin's heart was as fragile as a piece of paper in Kim Seokjin's hands, and his feelings were as clear as his handwriting, but Seokjin ripped it a part so easily, with no effort whatsoever.

"I'm sorry…" He repeats, almost sounding like he was speaking to himself as well. "I'm really, really sorry…. But… I can't…"

"Why?" Jimin manages to squeeze out, like a desperate squeak. Any minute now, he was going to break.

"I just can't," Seokjin says. He sounds genuinely sympathetic and sincere, which make it so much worse. He places a hand on Jimin's shoulder, looking down at the ground. It felt warm, despite how cold the situation was. "I know it isn't fair, that you're scared and confused and you have questions that you deserve answers to, but that's just how it is. I'm sorry…" His hand drops from Jimin's shoulder, along with the warmth that came with it. "See you later."

See you later.

So that was it, huh?

He couldn't fix the cracks, like Seokjin removed the shards from Jimin's hands. He wasn't like Seokjin, he wasn't good at anything, like he was. He wasn't brave and outgoing, someone who took pride in himself and who could flaunt his talent around because why the hell not? He couldn't light up someones entire day just by sending a warm smile their way, or make everyone stop in their tracks to just stare. He didn't know the right things to say at the exact right time, or have the ability to turn every situation into a good one. He couldn't simply grab someones hand, and make them feel like they wanted to stay forever. 

He was just Jimin.

No wonder Seokjin didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It made complete and total sense to him now.

After struggling, losing his way multiple times, and suffering so much… the answer he arrived at was so laughably simple.

He looked down at his hands, the bandages from last night still present. They were a physical reminder of the downfall of that party, and how he hand ended up getting hurt, just as he had expected. Today was the same as last night, expect instead of glass shards littering his small hands, Jimin felt them deep in his heart instead.

~

"So you remembered to wrap it up?" Jungkook teased as Jimin entered their shared apartment, so small and lacking of life and personality compared to Seokjin and Yoongi's. "Judging from the look on your face, you didn't even get past first base. Maybe it's a sign from God to stop wasting your time on losers like that."

Jimin only hums in response, barely listening to the idle chatter emitting from his friend. He needed to sleep, to forget, to end this miserable day filled with laughter, anger, and utter despair.

Somehow, Jimin thinks going to sleep tonight won't be as easy as he'd love it to be. Yet another kick to his already shattered heart.

"Jimin?"

He doesn't turn to look at Jungkook. He had just managed to calm himself down. If Jungkook tries to talk to him, he'll burst. The boy gets up and approaches him, watching his every expression cautiously. 

"What happened? Did Seokjin do anything to you?"

Breathe in and out breathe in and out breathe in and out.

"Not right now, kook," Jimin forces a smile, patting his arm affectionately. "Go back to your movie. I'm going to bed."

He doesn't stay to hear Jungkook's protests or pleas, heading straight to his room and locking the door behind him. Slowly sinking down the wooden door, his eyes grow accustomed to the darkness of his room. It was late in the evening now that he was back. The sun was long gone, and the moon was bright in the sky, being the only source of light in the darkness. He knew it was bad to sit in the dark, and he should probably go switch on a light, but he couldn't find the willpower, and his legs didn't feel like they were going to comply with him right now.

He tugged the bag off his shoulder and let it drop beside him loudly, not caring for the contents inside. He opened it up to throw everything inside onto his bed, when he picked up a picture.

It was the same picture he had found inside that mysterious book in Seokjin's apartment, the first one he had picked up. Seokjin was smiling brightly at the camera, all his teeth on display and crinkles beside both eyes. He must've took the polaroid picture with him by accident, remembering how he had been clutching it in his hand, eventually forgetting he had been holding it in the first place. 

It seemed a little humorous right now, how all the questions he had wanted to ask Seokjin so desperately, about the brother he lied about, about the book and the pictures he planned on throwing away, about all these little secrets he kept hidden close to his heart…. how pointless they all felt right now.

He told himself that he didn't care anymore that no matter what happens next, he wouldn't care. It was all meaningless now, anyway.

He pulled the small piece of paper tucked safely in his pocket.

It was Seokjin's list for him.

After their extreme chase and tumble, Seokjin had slipped it into his pocket thinking Jimin can't noticed, but he did. When Seokjin was around, his senses were on hyper alert, so he detected it right away.

Was there any point in reading it now? After a day of mixed signals and feelings being thrown all over the place, Seokjin made himself pretty clear where he and Jimin stand. He wasn't sure if he was in the mood to read a no homo bro list, feeling fairly confident it wouldn't quite cheer him up like he wanted.

Would Seokjin read his list? Was he thinking about Jimin right now, just like Jimin was thinking about him? He shut his eyes, wondering if his name crossed Seokjin's mind even once after he turned and left Jimin standing alone in the middle of the street. Maybe he did still care just a little bit.

The piece of paper in his hand couldn't be any worse than the brutal rejection he lived through that afternoon. With that thought in mind, he opened up the neatly folded piece of paper.

Park Jimin, there are so many things I want to write about you. The list seems endless, but if I start, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop, so I'm turning this into a letter of sorts instead. I hope you don't mind.

Park Jimin, you are a Phoenix.

On the outside you like to present yourself as this small, invisible person, but inside theres a huge fiery beast that I've caught a glimpse of once or twice, so I know without a doubt it's there.

It may not seem like it yet, but you will rise, and when you do, no one will be able to take their eyes off of you.

I see so much potential in you, so much passion and raw talent that I don't see very often these days.

I'm going to tell you a little secret. I actually lied to you the day we met. I didn't have that studio booked. I never did. In fact, I never intended to be there in the first place. I was searching for someone else, when I happened to walk by the studio you were practicing in, and you caught my eye instantly.

I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to lie to you, I just had to find a way to talk to you, it was the only thing that came to my mind in that moment. 

I stormed in there without thinking, and if I weren't a trained actor, I'm not sure I would've been able to pull it off. But somehow I did, and I got to actually talk to you. I'm not sure if you noticed, but the whole time I was there, my eyes were glued on you. I was entranced, I couldn't look away. Don't you realise how eye catching you are? Everyone walking past that studio was just as hypnotised as I was, I was utterly surprised I'd never heard of you before that day.

The more I watched you dance, the more obvious it become to me that you were the one I was searching for. The answer to my prayers. 

It had to be you, nobody else. It had to be you who would be my choreographer.

Just like a true phoenix, huh?

I don't really believe in things like "destiny" or "fate," but a part of me knew that it couldn't just be a coincidence. It was like we were meant to meet that day.

And I'm so glad we did.

I'm writing this letter instead of a list, because I know you well enough now to realise that simply pointing out a few of the good things won't make you able to see all the things that I see, all the talent and fire buried underneath all that self doubt. You're the type of person to make up a hundred excuses before accepting the blatant truth.

But that's okay. There are so many things I really admire and love about you Park Jimin, things that you could never understand. But that's the thing. Why you're loved, its not for you to understand, its for everyone one else.

So even if you can't see it, know that I, and many others, can see it for you.

Again, I'm sorry for lying, I'm sorry for making you do something you didn't want to do. But I hope that when this is all over, you'll look back and thank me :)

You can do it, Jiminie!!

He ended the letter by signing off with his signature, like a proper celebrity would.

Jimin sunk down even lower into the door, feeling himself smile a little. Even in letter format, he could still hear Seokjin's charming and well spoken voice, oozing with confidence and charisma. The guy was truly unlike anyone he's ever met before.

The letter lay on his lap, dimly lit by the moonlight coming from his bedroom window.

After searching high and low for a word to perfectly describe Kim Seokjin, he felt as if he's finally found the piece that fit.

He was cruel.

Seokjin was the only person to still make him chuckle after rejecting him in the same day, who could tell multiple lies to his face without Jimin ever realising, who could make him still long for something more, after already telling himself he'd given up for good.

It wasn't fair. It was completely and utterly agonising.

But Jimin wouldn't cry. As much as his heart begged him to just give in, he couldn't do it.

He wouldn't let Kim Seokjin win this battle, like he won every other, even if it was a small and meaningless victory, he would then at least have one.

Jimin was sat leaning against the edge of his bedroom door, letting himself finally fall asleep, because sleep was the only thing he could do to stop himself from losing that battle.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, when you meet someone who is going to change your life completely… you just know it, I guess.

11:55pm. The bright pink clock on Seokjin's bedroom wall ticked slowly, the soft sounds filling the empty room.

In five minutes, his adventurous day would be over, and a new day would start. He would go back to his rehearsals, practice with Taehyung, attend meetings with Yoongi and Namjoon, have lunch with his theatre friends, practice some more, maybe meet his friends again in the evening, spend time discussing their intensely mundane activities over a glass of wine, then go to bed, awaiting the next day. It's his routine. It's all just a routine. His whole life is just society's directions to living: a basic routine.

He hadn't felt that way before this day. He loved his routine. Or at least, he thought he did.

Seokjin sighed, looking away from the clock. He leaned back in his bed, trying to get comfortable. He switches to the other side. Then the other. Then switches again.

He groaned, removing the bed sheets and sitting up on the edge of the mattress. It was pointless, he thought. There was no way in hell he was getting any sleep tonight. Not after the rollercoaster of a day he just experienced.

He felt like he could separate the day into three different acts of a play, each with their own purpose, their own climax and ending, the last acts resolve ending on a cliff hanger. 

How else do you expect me to explain? Do you want me to just… say it?

He grabs his phone, opening up his messages, and pressing on Jimin's name.

What we have… it's like a friendship… but… more…

He paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard. 

Seokjin was good with words. His whole life he had been praised for his amazing vocabulary, and the way he could express himself with such freedom and passion. That talent had gotten him out of plenty of trouble in the past, involving teachers, bullies, ex friends and lovers, the list was endless. 

So why was he having so much trouble finding the right words to say to Jimin?

He knew that the mature thing to do was to text him first, explaining himself in a respectful and polite manner. Tell him what caused him to act in such a way, and why that phone call has stirred something inside him. That is what the normal Kim Seokjin would do. 

But Jimin's kind eyes and sweet smile get in the way of Seokjin's rational thoughts. The way Jimin glanced at him when he thought Seokjin wouldn't notice, but he sure as hell did. When Jimin scrunched up his eyes out of embarrassment whenever Seokjin said something bold or made a crappy joke. When Jimin clutched his hand after Seokjin ungracefully pushed him over, his hand shaking ever so slightly in Seokjin's.

This isn't like him at all. He must be feeling unwell, caught a cold, not slept enough, anything to explain why he had been thinking this way recently. 

He closes his eyes, and tells himself to stop thinking about it. To keep up the act. Not to let himself become distraught. And that when he opens his eyes again, everything will go back to normal. 

After counting to ten, he opens his eyes again, feeling a little more composed and like himself.

Everything that has happened today, it made me realise  so much… about me, about you, about us…. Please say something.

Seokjin didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to respond. When Jimin was stood there right in front of him, a million words crossed his mind, but his whole body froze. This wasn't the first time someone had confessed to him. Whenever this happened, he always responded the same way, by telling them that he thought they were an amazing person and that they were better off as friends.

But this wasn't just anyone. This was Jimin.

When did he start putting Jimin in a different category to everyone else? There were his friends, his family, his teachers and professors, his close friends, and then there were all the extras in-between. The nobodies. 

Jimin didn't fit into any category.

11:58pm.

He was running out of time. He could fix this, he thought. He could fix the horrible ending of act 3, the confession. He hated performances that ended on a cliffhanger. He always wanted to have the ability to change the way things played out in a show, so that there could be a happy ending, or at least, an ending that was satisfactory.

He can do this, he tells himself. Just tell him that you're sorry, that they're better off as friends, his default response to every confession.

But he couldn't bring himself to type it.

The little boy inside him, terrified and helpless, unable to change anything, was controlling his senses and his fingers, refusing to cooperate with himself.

Jimin threw him off guard, made him panic and run into a corner, breaking down all of his defences in a matter of seconds. He was so incredible, it almost made Seokjin laugh if he wasn't feeling so anxious at that moment.

He had forced Jimin to come with him that day, took him around to all the places he wanted, ignoring Jimin's requests and pleas. He had lied to him over and over again, pretending to be this charming and golden person who could achieve anything he wanted, when in reality all he ever did was pretend. He wasn't even sure who he was anymore. He'd spent so long trying to be someone else, he can't even remember who Kim Seokjin was. 

If Jimin saw him for what he truly was, he'd run and never turn back. Seokjin was terrible for letting Jimin get attached to this fake person who he'd created, when he could've stopped all this if he'd only kept his distance.

It was all his fault, and Jimin was the one to pay the price.

12:00am.

The day was over. A new one had began. He lost his chance.

Seokjin placed the phone back on his bedside table, his shoulders feeling heavy. He wants to sleep, he wants to wake up to the peaceful morning sun, he wants to bicker with Yoongi over breakfast, he wants something that makes sense, he wants his normal routine.

Maybe it was better this way, he thinks.

Maybe he can forget about the chaotic day he had, and let everything go back to how to should be.

Maybe he didn't want to forget.

~

"Can you stop following me around and go to the rehearsals you're supposed to be attending?" Hoseok grunts as he walks down the hall towards his dance studio for the day, followed by a gloomy Jimin. "I never took you as the type to skip a rehearsal, even if you really didn't want to go."

Jimin sighed loudly, making Hoseok roll his eyes. He felt like a babysitter putting up with a moody child that wouldn't do as he was told, except he wasn't even getting paid for doing this.

"If you're going to skip, that's fine, do whatever you want, but you can't come and ruin my day as well with your foul presence," Hoseok practically holds his nose at the stench. "I have a lot to do today and I won't let you distract me."

As Jimin whined loudly about how unfair Hoseok was being, the red head pulled his phone out of his pocket to check his phone. Four new messages from Kim Taehyung? What was this kid playing at?

He'd been texting Hoseok non stop since the other night at the party. After they bonded over their mutual hatred for interpretive art and stuck up expensive flower vases and fancy china which had been displayed all over the large house that the party was being held at, they started going around all the rooms inspecting them and cackling at how ugly they all were. Hoseok had assumed their friendship would end then and there. He never expected Taehyung to actually want to be friends after the party ended.

"Why can't I just sit in the corner and watch? I promise I'll be good," Jimin interrupts Hoseok's thoughts. 

He quickly shoves the phone back into his pocket, not bothering to see what Taehyung wanted.

"Why don't you want to go anyway? Did you get in a fight with Seokjin hyung?" Hoseok asks, putting the key in the door. Judging from the silence, he'd guessed correctly. "I thought he took good care of you, especially with bandaging up your hands that well. What else happened?"

As soon as the door opened, Jimin pushed past him, heading towards the corner of the room and sitting with his legs crossed. Little brat, Hoseok thought.

"Alright," Hoseok said, shutting the door behind him. "If you're gonna be here, talk. I want to know everything."

Jimin looked him dead in the eye, like he was begging him to drop the subject. If Hoseok was a bad friend, he would've done as Jimin pleased, let him sit there for the rest of the day on his phone whilst Hoseok practiced, and never asked him what was troubling him.

Unluckily for Jimin, Hoseok was the god damn greatest friend there ever was.

He sat in front of Jimin, mirroring his sitting position. "Go on then, spill. Or I'm kicking your ass out."

Jimin looks down at his bandaged hands, holding them together. "I ruined everything." His voice was small, like a whisper.

"Huh?" Hoseok says, not fully understanding. He hates when people are so vague and non specific. "What? Did something happen?"

"I was greedy," Jimin answers. "I wanted too much too quickly, and it backfired. I let myself fall for someone who'll never like me back, and that really, really, fucking hurts."

Hoseok couldn't help but be a little surprised. He knew Jimin felt something deeper for Seokjin, that their relationship was complicated and special, unlike most others their age. But the fact that Jimin had already convinced himself that he liked Seokjin was crazy. They barely knew each other.

"So, did you tell him that you like him?" Hoseok asked.

Jimin's head drooped a little, a small nod coming from him.

Well shit.

Hoseok leaned back in his arms, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together in his head. Jimin wasn't going to tell him much more, he knew that already. He's confessed to Seokjin, and obviously the guy turned him down hard, so what should he say? Did Jimin want someone to sympathise for him, or to snap him out of his depressing attitude? Hoseok could never tell which one. He has never seen Jimin in a proper relationship before, or even seen him fall for anyone. It was only Seokjin.

"Sorry."

Jimin's head rose at Hoseok's sudden apology.

"I kind of feel a little responsible for this," He explained. "I mean, I'm the one who gave Seokjin your number all those weeks ago, right? And I'm the one who told you to join the cast and become the choreographer. If I had kept my mouth shut, maybe you wouldn't be in this mess right now."

Jimin drops his head again. "No, it isn't your fault. I should've been more careful." He breathes heavily, bringing his knees up to his chest. "The crazy thing is, I really should hate Seokjin. I should've hated him from the start. He's getting amazing grades, beloved by everyone on campus, including students and teachers. He's super good at acting and I remember hearing that he also does some modelling on the side. It all sounds like a recipe for awfulness. And yet…" His expression is a mixture of hopeful, with a hint of sadness. "Seokjin is nothing like the privileged and spoilt golden child you would expect. He's not like any type, actually. He's probably the most surprising person I've ever met."

Hoseok wished he knew how Jimin felt, like there was someone who could sweep you off your feet and take your breath away in an instant, just by gazing at you. He longed to feel something similar, to have his own adventure. He felt envious that Jimin had found someone like that.

"I guess that's what happens when you meet someone spontaneous. I need to find myself a Kim Seokjin, but without all the added angst," Hoseok said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

The corners of Jimin's mouth lift up. "No, it's not all because he offered me to be the official choreographer for his show, despite being strangers. I'm not sure how to describe it all, it's just this feeling he gives off. Like when you're with him, anything is possible."

Hoseok holds back a laugh. "Dude. That was the gayest thing you've ever said. Like, ever."

Jimin shoots Hoseok a glare, making the older man burst out into giggles. 

"Seriously though, I never realised how big your crush was. I'm sorry it hasn't turned out like a movie," He clears his throat, forcing himself to stop his chuckling. "Maybe you dodged a bullet? You barely know the guy, right? For all we know, he could've had a huge stamp collection, or a weird love for cat memes. Who knows? Or maybe he could've secretly been a huge video game nerd."

"What, like Mario?"

"Exactly! He could be one of those adults who still obsess over Mario and play all the Nintendo games and stuff. If you think of it that way, you are sure to get over him soon."

Jimin smiles weakly. "Yeah, who would want a guy like that…"

~

 "The prop boy is glaring at you again."

Seokjin rolls his eyes at Yoongi's comment, choosing to ignore the intense gaze coming from Jungkook across the room.

"I'm more than used to seeing people look at you like they want to throttle you to death, but this kid is really starting to bother me," The shorter man shivered, looking concerned. "What did you do this time?"

Seokjin huffed. "Why does it have to be my fault?"

"Because it always is."

He wasn't sure if he felt entirely offended by Yoongi's snarky comment or not, but he appreciated how normal it felt. Things were slowly going back to where they belonged. He had followed his usual schedule, rehearsals, practice, lunch, arguing with Yoongi, disagreeing with Namjoon over designs. It was all making sense again.

The only thing disturbing that peace was the boy across the room, looking ready to turn Seokjin into a human dartboard.

Yoongi grumbles about something else, turning to bother some other poor soul with his dilemmas. He must've been in a bad mood today.

Seokjin looks at Jungkook again, who is still staring at him, almost challenging him to look away. Seokjin looks away quickly, not bothered in dealing with the guy right now. He was far too busy handling his own issues, he didn't have the time or patience to confront Jungkook. The few interactions he's had with him were enough to give him a pretty good idea of how it would all turn out.

Jimin probably told him everything, considering they were roommates and best friends. Or maybe Jimin didn't. He was trying to tell himself that it didn't matter. That Jimin was just a mere distraction today. He would push all thoughts of Jimin out of his head, and he would focus on what was most important to him instead, which was this show, and making sure it became a masterpiece.

But Seokjin couldn't help wondering where Jimin was, if he was holed up in his room, or if he was out and about, realising he was better off without Seokjin anyway. That Seokjin had done him a favour by rejecting him. That thought caused Seokjin's stomach to tighten ever so slightly.

I'm not really sure. The only thing I'm sure about is that everything's been magical ever since I met you.

The sweet little smile on Jimin's face in Seokjin's memory makes his heart flutter, but he reminds himself that it's all just physical attraction, and he holds his breath to make the palpitations stop.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Taehyung asks, approaching Seokjin with an innocent look in his eyes. "You don't seem like yourself today."

Seokjin almost laughed. He definitely didn't feel like himself either. He must've been acting pretty strange for people to notice, especially Taehyung, with his positive attitude and eyes that only ever see the good in people. He turned to him, patting his head lightly. "I'm just tired, Taehyungie."

He wasn't lying. He was so incredibly tired.

~

"What the hell did you do to Jimin."

Seokjin nearly groaned at the sight of Jungkook stood in front of him, the man's question sounding more like a statement. He was currently sat on the floor, sketchbook in front of him and had been flicking through the endless pages of Namjoon's costume design ideas when the large brute came and stood directly in front of him intimidatingly. His glare made Seokjin feel uncomfortable.

He sighed, shutting the book and looking up. "Can I help you?"

Jungkook snarled. "Don't fucking play dumb. You said something to Jimin yesterday, I want to know what it was."

They stay there glaring at each other for a moment. Seokjin hates how much this damn kid gets on his nerves. Just as he had started to get over his minor distraction - that distraction was named Jimin - he began to concentrate and finally get some work done. Until Jungkook shows up to cause a scene.

"Why don't you go any ask Jimin? I seem to remember you claiming to be such great friends and all, it shouldn't be so difficult," Seokjin replied, voice seemingly unbothered.

"Stop deflecting the topic. There's a reason Jimin came back last night looking like shit, and my bet is that reason is because of you."

His strong dislike for Jungkook only grows in his stomach. There's something about the way he speaks that gets under his skin. 

"If you don't mind I'd like to get back to my work, I'm sure you have some blocks to move, or whatever it is you do around here. Go make yourself useful."

Jungkook leans down, so that Seokjin can't escape his stare. If looks could kill, Seokjin would be crucified on the spot. He really isn't sure what he did to royally piss off this guy so much, why he has such a huge grudge against him. Maybe he likes Jimin? A classic case of Jealousy? Seokjin wasn't too sure. Jungkook was possessive as hell, but it didn't seem romantic to him. But Seokjin knew fuck all about love and romance anyway, so his judgement was questionable.

"I'm only going to say this to you once," Jungkook started, his voice low, but dangerous. "Leave Jimin alone."

He is stunned for a moment, the older man raising his eyebrows. Jungkook's jealousy was apparent, but it was growing stronger and stronger ever second passed.

"How about you leave me alone, before you regret ever stepping near me," Seokjin threatens, too tried for this bullshit. He was angry, tired, and wanted to be left alone. He finally stands up, and Jungkook does the same. They are practically the same height, looking each other dead in the eye.

"I know what you're doing. You think I'm dumb, don't you?" Jungkook chuckles, no humour present. "Actually, you think everyone here is dumb. You have everyone fooled in your little game of dress up, that no one sees you for what you are." He takes a step closer, his voice condescending. "But I can see it. I see all of it. How you're manipulating everyone around you, how that all of this is only beneficial for you, and when you're done, you'll leave them behind to rot. That's what you're doing to Jimin."

Seokjin can feel his heart in his throat, panic unwillingly tingling at his fingertips. He doesn't get the chance to ask the kid what he means, as Jungkook starts speaking again. "At first, I thought you might just have your fun then move on, but you keep dragging Jimin with you. You're dragging him into the deep end and I know for a fact that if you hold on any longer, he'll drown. And what pisses me off the most is that you don't give a damn about the consequences."

Seokjin is furious, torn between wanting the beat the absolute shit out of this asshole and wanting to sprint out of the auditorium and never return.

"You think you're actually helping him, huh? You have truly convinced yourself that you are this prince charming saving Jimin from his sad little life. First of all, Jimin isn't sad at all. He has his problems, and theres a lot he wishes were different, but he's not sad. He has a great family, friends, and he's at the college he loves. He's far from sad," Jungkook spits. "Second, Jimin doesn't need saving. He is capable of saving himself. He doesn't need you, me, or anyone for that matter. If you really knew Jimin like I do, you'd know that he wouldn't let you even if you tried. He is so strong, and will probably be the one to save you in the end, instead of the other way around. Trust me, I speak from experience." He pauses to look down, then looks back up at Seokjin with an even stronger stare. "Lastly, you aren't prince charming. You are nothing. You aren't going to give Jimin this wonderful life like in a fairytale. You are only going to make things worse. You already are making things worse, so just stop. Stop before the damage gets any more severe."

Jungkook's voice felt like literal daggers at Seokjin, somehow knowing all the spots to hit. He knew Jimin better than Seokjin, he should listen to the kids words and do as he says, as he's right about most of it. But Seokjin is a stubborn motherfucker, and he's not going to let this high-horse piece of shit see what sore spot he'd just hit. Seokjin knows how to act tough, he's had years to practice and perfect it. With just a few steps he's in Jungkook's face, with fists full of Jungkook's shirt.

"You shouldn't mouth off when you don't know shit," Seokjin says coldly. 

He never wanted to hurt Jimin. Jungkook was right about a lot of things, but Seokjin was never intentionally cruel. Everything he had done, he had done it with good intentions. He never wanted things to turn out this way, he never wanted to wound Jimin's heart. 

The thought of Jimin's bright face was now replaced with the look he gave Seokjin when he was walking away, leaving him all alone in the middle of the street. He never wanted to see that, he only wanted to see him at his best and brightest.

Jungkook grabs Seokjin's arm and rips his hand off his shirt, clearly having the upper hand in strength. "I'm warning you, if you hurt him again, I'll make sure you never step foot on a stage ever again. What is it they say in theatre?… break a leg?" He smirks, taking a step away, before leaving Seokjin alone.

He had the final word, he had the upper hand. Seokjin had never felt so humiliated. The feeling crawled under his skin, getting worse and worse the longer he decided to just stand there, alone with his thoughts.

~

Jimin wished he could say he was shocked when Taehyung showed up at his apartment without any notice or explanation of how he found out where he lived, but he had far crazier situations this week, mostly involving a certain actor that wasn't in the room with him right now. He watched Taehyung down a cup of tea on a kitchen stool, gasping with delight when he finished his sip.

"So as I was saying, I need you to help set me up with Hoseok hyung," Taehyung says without a hint of sarcasm, brow furrowed in seriousness.

Jimin rubbed his face, careful not to injure his wounded hand. "Where did this even come from? Since when did you like Hoseok? And why me?"

"I've like him since the party the other night, stupid," Taehyung sighs. "I've been trying to talk to him properly ever since but he keeps blowing me off, and I came to you because you're obviously really close to him, and your roommate kind of scares me. You were my only option."

"Have you tried talking to him yourself?"

Taehyung shoots him a dirty look. "I just said he keeps blowing me off. Are you even listening to what I'm saying? He doesn't respond to my texts, and if I show up at his apartment unannounced, he'll think I'm a creep. What should I do?"

Jimin walking behind the kitchen counter, rummaging through the cupboards for Jungkook's secret stash of doritos that he thinks Jimin doesn't know about. "This isn't my problem, Taehyung. I've got my own issues to worry about, and how do you even know where he lives? That is kind of creepy, you know."

"Jimin, please," he begs, holding his hands together. "I really need your help. I'm stuck and I have no idea what to do. You're my only solution, and I only know where he lives because he told me! I promise I'm not a stalker."

Jimin turns to him, pausing his snack searching to look him in the eye. "Why Hoseok?"

Taehyung blinks twice. "Hm?"

"Why do you like him? He's a total idiot, loud and bossy, and sticks his nose into other peoples business all the damn time. He's also a total scaredy cat," Jimin points out.

"What are you saying? Hoseokie hyung is the coolest!" Taehyung exclaims, his eyes bright and twinkling. "He's so so funny, I was cracking up the whole night we spent together. He's not an idiot, he is actually really smart, like he knows all these cool things about stuff you wouldn't even think of. Did you know ants can actually survive in the microwave? They're so small, they can dodge the rays. Hyung told me that!"

Jimin didn't want to know how Hoseok had discovered that fact. "But Hoseok isn't into guys like you, he likes someone adventurous, someone who can take his breath away. He's into cheesy movies and romantic shit like that. No offence, but you're not exactly Ryan Gosling in the notebook."

Jimin wasn't lying to Taehyung. The guy was nice enough, but he couldn't see Hoseok falling for him in a million years. Hoseok craved something passionate, and Taehyung didn't give off that vibe. He was a sweet person, but Hoseok didn't want sweet.

Taehyung pouts, crossing his arms. "I could be Ryan Gosling if I wanted."

Jimin smirks. "Only because you're an actor. Hoseok will be able to see through that bullshit instantly. Sorry, but you're out of his league."

Taehyung scowls at him and sticks out his tongue. "Just because you say so, doesn't mean I don't stand a chance. I will get him to like me, with or without your help. If he wants something from a movie, I'll stand outside his window with a boombox if I have to."

The thought of Taehyung with Hoseok, holding hands, going on dates, doing all the sweet things that it looked like Taehyung was capable of providing Hoseok, wasn't such an awful image in Jimin's head. Even if he wasn't going to sweep his friend off his feet, Taehyung could at least hold on to Hoseok's hand and not let go.

It was the type of romance Jimin had always wanted, sweet, simple, something that made him feel at ease. Not spur of the moment adventures around Seoul, his heart beating so rapidly it hurt, and the ultimate heartbreak it brought with it. He longed for someone like Taehyung, but instead his heart chose another actor.

Maybe in a different story, he would've fallen for Taehyung instead. If he had met him first, he could've had the sweet love story he always wanted.

Maybe he didn't want that type of love story anymore.

God, Hoseok was right. He was acting totally gay recently.

"Hoseok hates loud boomboxes, and he's a lot more cheesy than that," Jimin starts, grabbing the hidden doritos stashed inside the corn flakes cereal box. "He's the type of guy to get wooed by a hundred red roses, or a love confession in the rain, followed by a romantic kiss. He's totally gross like that." Hand halfway in the bag, he looks at Taehyung. "If you want to really impress him, be persistent. He hates thing when they are half assed. You'll have to go all out."

Taehyung's eyes look hopeful. "Does this mean you'll help me?"

Jimin flick's Taehyung's forehead, causing the boy the wince in pain. "I'll help, but only on my terms. If I think something is crossing the line, then I'll put an end to it. If Hoseok makes it clear to you that he doesn't like you that way, then as his best friend, I'll have to respect his wishes."

"But you said I should be persistent!" Taehyung whines, clutching his soon to be bruised forehead. Jimin's finger flicking could be brutal at times.

"Just because I might stop helping you at some point, doesn't mean you should just give up like that," Jimin explained. "I think you two would actually be quite good for each other. Hoseok needs someone who'll be good holding him back, I think you could be that person."

He thinks back to the party, the way they looked together, how happy and at ease they behaved. Hoseok deserved that.

"This could be a good distraction for me anyway." Jimin sits opposite Taehyung, stuffing his face with the cheesy snack. "I could really use it right now."

Taehyung looks concerned. "Do you mean Seokjin hyung?"

Jimin nearly choked on his food, having refused to speak or think of his name ever since his conversation with Hoseok. "What make's you think that?" He coughs out, hitting his chest harshly.

"Well," Taehyung scratched his neck. "The other night at the party, I saw the way hyung took care of you. When you got injured, sorry about that by the way," he half chuckled, reminding Jimin of how he was the one who had knocked Jimin into the vase case. "When you were hurt, he really looked worried. Like, really worried. It's obvious how much you matter to him."

Jimin had to laugh at Taehyung's statement, unable to hold back his bitter feelings. "Hyung is better actor than you'd think, Taehyung. He doesn't care as much as you think."

"That's not true!" He exclaims, startling Jimin. "He was a complete mess today, Jimin. You should've seen him. He wasn't himself. He was a whole different person. I wasn't sure why he was acting that way, but now, I think It's pretty clear why he was so different…" He paused. "It's because of you."

Jimin immediately shakes his head. He'd already accepted everything, how Seokjin truly felt, how things just weren't meant to be between them, how they were just too different for each other, they belonged in two completely separate worlds. He wouldn't let Taehyung's words bring back a little hope stored away in his heart.

"You don't understand," Jimin denied it all. "You weren't there, you don't know anything. If he actually cared, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did."

Taehyung looked like he wanted to say more, to speak up against Jimin and defend Seokjin, but he didn't. "You're right, I don't know anything, but I do know what I saw, and that was how upset hyung was today. I think you should talk to him, figure out what went wrong between you." He suddenly flicks Jimin's forehead back, his flicks even harder than Jimin's. "That's payback for earlier. Don't let this one thing ruin what you have with Seokjin hyung. You guys…. your relationship is special. Any fool can see that. I know that you two will figure things out in the end, but you guys have to talk first. There's no way around it. You need to get through the shitty stuff to get back to the good stuff."

Taehyung was right, but the stubborn and wounded part of Jimin wasn't willing to listen. So what if Seokjin was feeling sad today? He could've stubbed his toe, maybe a bird shit on his head earlier, or maybe he was just woke up and decided to play the part of miserable pretty boy today, since he loved playing so many different characters and roles all the time. There were so many reasons why he could be acting that way, and the way things ended yesterday was definitely not the reason.

Seokjin wasn't allowed to feel sad. He was the one he cause this to happen. He was the one who rejected Jimin. It wasn't fair for him to start feeling this way. Only Jimin had the right to be miserable, and yet here he was, getting on with his life because he had better things to do than mope around all day because some guy didn't like him back. Jimin was a pathetic person, but today he wouldn't let himself be. Today he would be stronger. He would hold his head up high and pretend everything was fine. He had had enough time to feel sad, but that time was over. He had a life to live now.

But his deepest darkest thoughts kept questioning him, reminding him of how badly he fucked up, how he was having the best day of his life, then ruining it by awkwardly confessing like some dork asking the head cheerleader to prom.

Push them down, Jimin. Push them into the corners of your mind, and lock them up.

"Hey, let's not turn the mood sour. Want to talk more about Hoseok?" Jimin asks, smiling as the boys face lights up at the mention of the skilled dancer.

"As much as I'd love to talk more and more about how great Hoseokie hyung is, I was wondering if you could do me one more favour…" He places his thick script onto the counter. "Practice with me?"

Jimin wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He was so done with the play at this point, and they still had months until opening night. 

"Don't look like that!" Taehyung complained, noticing the small groan coming from Jimin. "I was told you were the perfect person to practice with."

"And who told you that?"

Taehyung gulped. "Seokjin hyung."

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

~ 

Seokjin keeps checking the time on his phone, barely any time passing by each time he looks at the screen. He starts pacing himself inside the small dance studio, walking around the room in a circle to calm himself down. He was getting all wound up over nothing, he reminded himself. There was nothing to be nervous about. 

Except meeting Jimin here.

He had been the one to reach out first, eventually unable to take the silent treatment and just sending him a message.

Hey, Jimin.

Can we meet? I think we should talk.

He cursed himself for not sending an emoticon. At the time, he had thought it seemed inappropriate considering how serious the message felt, but now he feels out of place. He's been trying so hard to get back into his usual character, but he keeps forgetting to do the most simple things that he would normally do, like sending cute emoticons.

It took him almost a week to cave in. Jimin hadn't shown up to a single rehearsal, And that made Seokjin panic. He keeps telling himself that he's only doing this on behalf of the play, that it needs a choreographer, that it had to be Jimin. If he let his mind wonder to other reasons and possibilities, he'd fall out of character again.

meet me in studio 012 tomorrow at noon.

Jimin had responded, after having left Seokjin on read for several hours. And now here Seokjin was, studio 012 at noon, with Jimin no where to be seen.

Seokjin felt himself getting annoyed the longer he waited, but remembered that he's the reason they're quarrelling in the first place. Were they even quarrelling? He wasn't sure how to describe their situation precisely. There probably wasn't a word in the whole dictionary to sum it all up.

He had been surprised Jimin had agreed to meet him, convinced he would've blocked his number or something dramatic. He had every right to, especially after the way Seokjin spoke to him. If he were in Jimin's place, he would've done so much more than just block his number.

But Jimin wasn't like Seokjin. He was kind, willing to listen, and a good person. Seokjin was none of those things.

The door opened slowly, making Seokjin jump back. Jimin stood in the doorway, staring right at him.

Seokjin stared right back, feeling flushed. God, he hoped he wasn't turning bright red. His was usually really good at covering up his embarrassment on his face, but he could never control his ears, always betraying him and turning pink whenever he was feeling embarrassed.

"Why did you jump?" Jimin asked, sounding shocked at his reaction.

Seokjin blinked a few times. He had thought of so many things to say to Jimin, ways to apologise and explain himself, but his mind went blank the minute Jimin walked in the room.

"You scared me."

Jimin nodded. "I see."

He walked in properly, shutting the door behind him. They were alone together, both staying silent, both unsure of what to say.

Seokjin felt his panic rising again. Should he say something first? maybe he should tell a joke to break the ice, or should he completely ignore everything that happened? He should probably just apologise straight up, no bullshit, no excuses. Jimin deserved it.

"So, Seokji-"

"I asked you here to teach me some dance moves!" Seokjin blurted out, the first thing in his mind, interrupting Jimin. Fuck, why can't he listen to himself for once? This really isn't like him. "I'm going to have to dance in the show as well, right? I haven't really danced in a while, so I'm pretty rough with my moves. I was wondering if you would help me?" The bullshit kept spewing out of his mouth, luckily, sounding a little believable. Thank God his acting skills didn't completely fail him for once. 

Jimin looked unsure, scratching his arm with his bandaged hand. The hand Seokjin had treated.

"You've still got the bandages on?" Seokjin said, not meaning for it to sound like a question.

"Um, yeah," Jimin replied. "I thought I'd leave it on for a little longer. Just in case. I've been cleaning the wounds and changing the bandages, so it's completely fine." He said as if he could read all of Seokjin's thoughts, curious of how his hands had been healing.

"Well, you know what they say. It's better to be safe than sorry!" He laughed half heartedly. Jimin didn't return his laugh, still looking uncomfortable in the corner of the room.

Shit, now what? Seokjin's mind went blank again. Should he ask Jimin to teach him a particular move? Or should he just stop acting like a complete tool and be honest. Or runaway, that was another option.

"Hyung, why did you ask me to meet you?" Jimin asked, shutting his eyes. "And don't give me that bullshit about dance or whatever. Tell me what it really is."

Seokjin freezes, the feeling of being caught red handed entering his mind. The sight of Jimin across the room, looking so small and helpless, yet so bold and strong, contrasting each other so greatly, it confused Seokjin. How could someone so small hold so much raw passion? It was the same as the first time Seokjin laid eyes on Jimin, and time and time again he catches that glimpse of it. He wants to see it again, and again, until it full devours Jimin. He wants to see that passion overtake all of his senses, until it's consuming him.

"There's nothing you want to say to me?" Jimin sounded so hurt, voice filled with pain. It broke something in Seokjin. "I wish you wouldn't do this to me. Giving me false hope for nothing. I told myself not to come, that it was only going to make things worse, but I let myself believe that there was actually something you wanted to say to me. I guess I let myself get too excited over nothing again."

It felt as if the acid in Seokjin's stomach was rising to his throat. His knees are weak, ready to give up any second. 

You're dragging him into the deep end and I know for a fact that if you hold on any longer, he'll drown.

He kept hurting Jimin. Over and over again. What's worse was that he didn't even realise he was doing it.

He's a piece of shit. A complete and utter stupid piece of shit. But at least he knew he was a piece of shit, that should at least make him a little better than the pieces of shit that don't know they're pieces of shit, like Jungkook. Or did that make him worse?

"It's all my fault."

Jimin lifts his head. "What?"

"I'm the reason things spiralled out of control last week. I'm the reason things are so awkward and tense right now. I'm the one who should be apologising and grovelling at your feet. I keep making things worse, and I don't know what to do or say to change it." Seokjin says, feeling his words grow heavier and heavier.

Stupid piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit.

"I thought that maybe I could make things better, that I could at least get things back to the way things were before that day, but I can't. I really don't know what to do."

"Maybe you could start with explaining what the hell happened."

Seokjin looked up at Jimin, noticing the way his gaze had also fallen back on Seokjin.

"Why did you lash out at me? Why did you walk away from me when I was trying to get through to you? So many times you have told me to be true to myself, to be honest, so why couldn't you do the same?" Jimin's voice went from sad to bitter in a matter of moments. "It's because you're a hypocrite. You're too focused on trying to get me to open up to the world and change for the better, you never once think about your own problems. Why don't you look in the mirror for a change? I see so much of you hyung, so much that you refuse to show to the world. How do you expect me to follow your advice when you never do the same for yourself?" Jimin took a breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

His heart held all the answers to Jimin's questions. It beated uncomfortably in his chest, practically begging to be set free from Seokjin's solitude. There was so much he could tell Jimin, about his life, his horrible experiences, his distant family, his brother… but they all held him back. All those feelings he wanted to unleash, were also the same ones building his walls even higher. He made the mistake of opening up in the past, and wouldn't let himself get that injured again. Even to people like Yoongi, whom he trusted deeply, didn't know everything he held deep down.

He wouldn't let anyone have that kind of power over him, especially not Jimin.

"If you have nothing to say, then I'll go," Jimin spoke when Seokjin remained silent. 

He turned towards the door, hand reaching out for the door knob.

He still have a chance to change it. There's still a chance.

"It was my therapist."

Jimin stopped dead in his tracks. His head quickly turned back to Seokjin, eyes wide with confusion.

"Yeah, I go to therapy… fuck, I hate taking about this," Seokjin said slowly, saying every word like it was going to make him explode. A layer of his defence was pealed away, making him feel more bare and exposed than ever before. He felt colder and colder.

It wasn't much, it wasn't anything extreme, but it was a small peak into the heavy weight on Seokjin's mind. And to him, that was a really big deal. His head began to pound, all his alarms and red alerts setting off.

"Why didn't you pick up the call?" Jimin asked, turning away from the door to fully face Seokjin again.

"I missed an appointment with my therapist that day. I was supposed to be there, but I wanted to be out with you instead." Every word he said made him feel weaker and weaker, his strong character he had spent so long building up, crumbling in seconds.

"Why did you miss it?" Jimin asked more questions, pushing Seokjin further into his corner.

Jimin had every right to ask questions. He was the one who had suffered from Seokjin's outburst, so it made sense for him to demand an explanation, even if it made Seokjin's skin crawl more and more with every question.

"I'm not exactly fond of therapy," Seokjin said, putting it lightly. "It was my parents idea to go. I never wanted to, but they forced me. So, I avoid it as much as possible."

His parents forcing him to go to therapy, the looks of disappointment on their faces, the way his father shouted when Seokjin refused, it all felt like it happened just yesterday.

Jimin took a step closer, his expression asking more questions, causing Seokjin's neck to start feeling moist due to the anxiety.

"Why do you need therapy?"

There is was. The question he really hoped Jimin wouldn't ask. Seokjin gently shook his head, feeling a numbing sensation in his knees. He wouldn't talk about it anymore. He just couldn't. It was too much all at once. The alarms were too loud now, he couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything.

He feels himself leaning down onto the ground, his knees finally giving up on him. 

Breathe Seokjin. Breathe.

He hears Jimin calling his name loudly, feels his shoulders being shaken ever so lightly as panic consumes his entire being.

~

He was running out of options. Jimin didn't know how to handle a panic attack, especially when Seokjin's came out of no where.

He watched Seokjin fall the the ground, and Jimin felt himself move quicker than he ever had in his life. He held onto Seokjin's trembling shoulders, trying to talk to him. Seokjin wasn't listening. He just kept shaking his head, breathing so heavily, it scared Jimin to his core.

He tried to hold him tight, to try and tell Seokjin it was going to be okay, but nothing was working.

Seokjin needed him right now and Jimin felt so fucking helpless. Not knowing what to do when someone you care about needs you is one of the scariest feelings in the world. He wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he knew that Seokjin suffered because of him.

He pulled Seokjin's phone out of his pocket, managed to pull one of his hands away that was wrapped around his leg, to unlock it through thumb recognition, and quickly headed to his contacts to find Yoongi.

He didn't know what else to do, but maybe Yoongi did.

Jimin called him once, but he didn't pick up. He tried calling twice more, until Yoongi finally answered.

"Are you butt dialling me again, hyung?"

"Yoongi hyung," Jimin's voice wobbled. "Please help."

"Jimin? What's going on? Where's Seokjin?" Yoongi asked, instantly sounding concerned.

"I don't know what happened, he just started shaking and breathing really loudly, I'm not sure what I said or if I did something to make him start feeling anxious but I really-"

"Stop rambling. Tell me where you are right now."

Jimin told him the studio, knowing it would probably take some time for Yoongi to make his way over to the other side of campus.

"I'm on my way right now. Until I get there, I want you to try and get Seokjin to focus on you, talk to him, get him to speak. Do whatever you can to distract him. If you have some water, that'll help as well, but don't leave him alone. Stay close and stay firm. If you have to be harsh, then do it, it's the only way he'll listen. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Then he hung up, leaving Jimin alone with Seokjin again. He thought over Yoongi's instructions clearly, sitting in front of Seokjin. He held onto his shoulders again, leaning his head down so that he could see Seokjin's face clearly. His eyes were closed shut, head shaking left to right slowly.

"Hyung? Are you listening to me?" Jimin started, trying to find his voice. "Yoongi is on his way. He's going to make everything better. Just wait a little bit longer, okay? You're going to be okay, Jin hyung. I promise."

Seokjin shook his head more aggressively at the mention of Yoongi, hands that were previously wrapped around his legs now placed on the sides of his head. Did he not want Yoongi here? Was that what he was trying to communicate?

"Is that okay? Do you not want Yoongi hyung here?" Jimin asked, getting no response. "Seokjin, if theres something wrong, you need to tell me. I don't understand you when you're like this. I need you to calm down and to talk to me properly."

Seokjin didn't listen, continuing to shake his head. He started rocking backwards and forwards a little. When Jimin tried to stop him, he pushed his arm away.

Jimin really didn't know what to do anymore. The longer he waited for Yoongi to get here, the worse Seokjin seemed to get. He knew Seokjin could hear him, he was just unable to answer Jimin for whatever reason. He glanced at the phone beside Seokjin. Should he call Yoongi again? Maybe he could try and talk to Seokjin on the phone, it might calm him a little.

"No, no Yoongi."

Jimin snapped his head back to Seokjin, who had started mumbling to himself.

"You don't want Yoongi?" Jimin asked, carefully holding onto Seokjin's arms. "What is it you want, hyung? If you don't tell me, I can't help you. I want to help you so badly, I want to make it all better, but I can't until you tell me how."

Seokjin continues to mumble about Yoongi, not making any more sense than before.

Suddenly, Jimin grabbed his face with both hands, forcing Seokjin to stop shaking his head, to stop rocking and to look Jimin dead in the eye. Seokjin's eyes slowly opened, and stared into Jimin's. 

Jimin felt his hands shaking on Seokjin's cheeks, wondering if they felt cold on his face, if maybe the chilled feeling helped just a little.

"Seokjin, you're going to be okay, it's all going to be okay. I'm here," Jimin said slowly, speaking each word clearly and firmly.

Seokjin kept looking at him, his eyes switches focus on Jimin's left and right eye. His pupils were dilated, looking more scared than Jimin had ever seen Seokjin before. He still had so many questions for Seokjin, but none of them mattered right now. Whatever stress that was causing Seokjin this hysteria, whatever pain Seokjin was holding deep down, Jimin had underestimated. He didn't even consider how difficult it must've been for Seokjin to talk about his problems, how horrible they must've made him feel. There was a reason he hid behind a mask every single day, why he smiled so brightly and acted like he was having the greatest time of his life, because it was easier than facing reality.

It was so painfully obvious to Jimin now.

Seokjin lied, he used Jimin, he pushed him away and lashed out, but he had his reasons. They were equally to blame for how things ended that day.

Once again, Jimin had only been thinking about himself.

His thumbs stroke the area under his eyes tenderly, gently humming a tune to settle Seokjin's fright. He could slowly hear Seokjin's breathing set at a normal pace, matching Jimin's. His eyes fluttered shut, letting himself sit and listen to Jimin's humming, feeling his presence.

Jimin let his eyes wonder all over Seokjin's captivating face. From his long eyelashes, to his plump peach lips that were trembling, to his cute button nose. He was like a doll, a collectors item, carved by an expert. He belonged in a museum, somewhere untouchable, where no one could ruin him. He was pure gold, there was no better way to describe him.

"Thank you. Thank you." Seokjin whispered, stuttering slightly. He kept repeating himself as Jimin wrapped his arms around Seokjin properly, resting his head on top.

Seokjin in returned wrapped his long arms around Jimin's back, gripping onto his thin shirt tightly. Jimin could still feel Seokjin's breathing on his chest. He could probably hear Jimin's pounding heart right about now, but that didn't matter.

He stroked his hair, telling him again that everything was going to be okay.

~

Yoongi arrived thirteen minutes later, walking in on Jimin holding Seokjin close, and Seokjin clutching onto Jimin like he didn't want to let go. He was quick to react, instantly giving Jimin more instructions and tasks. He held onto Seokjin with firm, but careful hands as he helped him up off the ground.

"Let's get you back home, okay hyung?"

Seokjin remained silent, hand still holding onto Jimin's tightly, almost painfully. Jimin didn't mind.

"Did you get him to talk?" Yoongi asked Jimin, putting Seokjin's other arm over his head.

"Just a little. Mostly just mumbling and incoherent words," Jimin said, helping Yoongi support Seokjin's weight. The guy was surprisingly heavy. "I don't think he wanted you to come."

Yoongi scowled, pulling a face. "He never wants my help. After every single time I come to the rescue, what thanks do I get? Usually a huff and an excuse."

Jimin wanted to know how often Yoongi had to come running to Seokjin, how often he had situations like this, but bit back his questions.

"I've got it from here. You can go." Yoongi starts walking with Seokjin towards the door, but struggles when his trip on Jimin's hand doesn't loosen. "Please don't be a pain, Seokjin. Come on, it's time to go."

If this were any other setting, Jimin would've laughed at Seokjin's stubbornness, finding it incredibly cute. but Jimin knew that Seokjin had to go, to rest properly and let Yoongi take it from here. He had more experience with Seokjin, he knew what was best for him.

Hesitantly, Jimin pulled his hand out of Seokjin's, not wanting to let go. He wanted to stay with him, to make sure that he was going to be okay, to be there for him for as long as Seokjin wanted. But he knew he couldn't. 

"Thank you, Jimin. You did the right thing by calling me," Yoongi said, sounding genuinely grateful. "I'll let you know how he's doing. I promise."

Jimin nodded, pushing his protests down this throat. He couldn't go with them. It was the best thing for both of them right now. He kept telling himself those things, repeating them until they were carved into his mind with permanent ink.

Yoongi assisted Seokjin out, leaving Jimin alone again in the dance studio. Only moments ago, this room had felt so small, so insufferably claustrophobic. Now it was too big, too empty, with only Jimin here to fill the large space.

Somehow, every time he saw Seokjin, held his hand, breathed in his scent and felt his presence, things only got more confusing than he thought was humanly possible. He thought he had finally figured things out, where they both stood, and that gave him a sense of relief. But now he had been pushed straight back to square one. 

He got back to his own apartment fairly quickly, not wanting to spend another second alone in the studio he had loved so much before, now feeling like he couldn't breathe in there anymore. His apartment was also empty, no other soul present. No Jungkook sat on the floor playing on his xbox, no Hoseok lying on the couch complaining about the lumpiness, no Taehyung sitting one of the kitchen stools drooling over Hoseok and practically planning their wedding on the spot.

It was just Jimin.

He didn't want to be alone right now. He wanted to be with Seokjin.

All his thoughts circled around him right now, worry and concern running through his veins. He was desperate to know if he was okay. 

He walked into his bedroom, pulling his phone out of his pocket and throwing it onto his bed. There was no news. He wasn't sure if Yoongi even had his number, so how would he let Jimin know how it was going? Jimin was half tempted to make his way over there, to reassure himself that things were fine and that he was getting himself all worked up over nothing. 

The polaroid of Seokjin was sat untouched on his computer desk, where Jimin had placed it after finding it in his bag, not been moved since.

He walked toward the desk, picking up the small picture. Seokjin's bright smile looked so familiar to Jimin now, he could see it in his sleep. He gently placed his thumb beside Seokjin's face, rubbing it just like he did earlier when Seokjin was shaking heavily. 

Cruel.

He was still so cruel to Jimin, and he couldn't even help it anymore. He pulled Jimin back when he only wanted to runaway, he held on tight just as Jimin had accepted that it was time to let go.

He was the cruelest person Jimin had ever met.

Seokjin made Jimin want to run back, to give up everything and jump, to risk it all. And he knows he would do it, if Seokjin asked.

I missed an appointment with my therapist that day. I was supposed to be there, but I wanted to be out with you instead.

Jimin wanted answers. He was sick of waiting, hoping that if he just stayed silent and prayed, that things would work out and reveal themselves eventually.

His world didn't work that way, especially when Kim Seokjin was the one controlling it.

Whenever Seokjin's ready, he'll tell you. He's not the kind of guy to appreciate people trying to force answers out of him. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. He'll open up to you when the time is right for him.

Would there ever be a right time? From the way things were looking, Jimin would never know. He would always be wondering, desperate to see Seokjin without his stone walls built so high. 

Jimin opened up his laptop, and without thinking, started typing Seokjin's name into the search engine. He was searching for something, anything, that would put his mind at ease. He was tired of being lied to, being kept in the shadows.

Nothing much came up, except articles written about Seokjin from theatre critics, praising him in all his past productions and projects. A few social media profiles appeared, and Jimin quickly found all of Seokjin's. He scrolled through them, seeing more pictures, more parties, more people that he had never seen before. More of a life that Kim Seokjin lived, without Jimin.

A familiar feeling washes over him, the same as when he saw Seokjin's photo wall for the first time. Jealousy and greed, pure green and mean as ever.

His eyes landed on an old picture on Seokjin's Facebook profile. The picture was from nearly two years ago, but Seokjin looked the same as always, only his hair being a pastel pink colour in the picture. But Jimin wasn't focused on Seokjin, he was focused on the other person in the picture, arm over Seokjin's shoulder and laughing loudly.

It was the same guy from the picture that fell out of that book on Seokjin's shelf, the book of pictures he was going to throw away.

Seokjin's brother.

He couldn't forget a face like that, his features matching a few of Seokjin's. They had the same small nose, and their eyes had a similar round shape. Jimin clicked on the picture to enlarge it. He felt confused when there wasn't a profile tagged. Seokjin had tagged every other photo with people in it, so why not this one? 

He knew he was acting creepy, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to know more about Seokjin's life, about his family. He wondered if it was okay for him to break down this wall. Just one.

He had told Jimin that his family forced him into therapy, which told him a lot about what Seokjin's home life must've been like. Why would any parent force their child into therapy? There had to be a reason.

He searched for more pictures, but eventually giving up when he couldn't find any more including his brother or any people that resembled Seokjin in the slightest. he ended up searching Seokjin's brothers name instead, Kim Seokjung. There wasn't much luck, hundreds of different Kim Seokjung's showing up on google. He was starting to lose hope.

Jimin isn't entirely sure what he was searching for at this point, he just longed for answers for this hundreds of questions. He didn't care if all of them couldn't be answered, he would be satisfied with just one.

When he finally starts to reach his limit, he searches one last time, deciding to give up after this search. He typed in Kim Seokjin family, not really expecting much.

The first result was a newspaper article, with a picture attached to it. A picture of Kim Seokjung, the one he had been looking for.

Jimin couldn't believe his eyes. He found something.

His belly tightened with unease as he clicked on the link, seeing the article blow up on his screen.

~

Jimin feels sick to his stomach. It churns inside him, making him fell the urge to vomit everywhere.

Prodigy entrepreneur and soon to be husband found dead in luxury home.

Kim Seokjung was found at approximately 7pm on the 16th of July, 2018. His cause of death was asked not to be enclosed to the public.

This is the third death of a young man in his late twenties this week in the area, and police are investigating further into any possibilities.

His fiancé and family chose not to leave a comment regarding the matter.

The police are urging the public to educate their youth more on mental health, and are issuing a proper memorial to be held for this respected businessman.

His finger's clutch the desk tightly, knuckles turning white. His teeth clench together, gritting harshly as Jimin feels himself start to tremble.

What the fuck has he done?

Seokjin's brother died, and Jimin couldn't wait to let Seokjin tell him. Instead, he broke any trust he had formed with Seokjin, all in an instant. All in the click off a mousepad.

He is almost in a state of disbelief, pushing himself away from the desk and far away from his laptop screen, not wanting to see that horrid newspaper article any longer.

Seokjin had been holding this all in, held it tightly to his chest where no one could ever reach it. But he did it for a reason, and Jimin pushed himself into a space where he wasn't welcome.

Some parts of the puzzle piece that was Seokjin went into their correct places, making the picture a little clearer to Jimin. The reason he lied at the party, why he told Jimin he was an only child.

Or was he even lying? Seokjin didn't have a brother anymore. Maybe he really did consider himself an only child now.

His phone buzzed on his bed, surprising Jimin a little. He picks up the phone, seeing an unknown number sent him a text.

seokjin and i got back fine. hes sleeping right now. everything is okay, but im sure he'll want to see you soon. he kept saying your name on the way back. thank's again for your help. yoongi :)

He dropped the phone again, landing on the side of his bed, and sat next to it. Seokjin was fine, he was asleep, hopefully in peace.

He didn't know that Jimin just betrayed him.

Jimin wants to scream at himself, to rip his hair out and smack himself in the face. He truly deserved it. How could he do that to Seokjin? He had let his own greed and selfishness consume him time and time again, and this was the punishment.

He was so fucking alone right now. He wanted to hold Seokjin again, to tell him it was going to be okay, to let him know that it was okay for him to loosen his grip on the burden he had been carrying himself for so long, but he no longer had any right to do any of those things.

Seokjin had only hurt him because Jimin pushed him, further and further until Seokjin snapped. If Jimin had kept quiet, held back his demons and ignored them, things could be different right now.

It was so messy, the puzzle pieces thrown everywhere, not fitting in any place he puts them, but he had no one else to blame but himself for this mess.

He lets himself fall back onto the mattress. He shuts his eyes tightly, but he can see see the article, the words as clear as day behind his eyelids.

He knocked down one wall all by himself, but Seokjin hadn't given him permission. He didn't want it to be this way, but he couldn't change anything now. He couldn't unseen what he saw. 

Of course there was more going on than what Seokjin chose to tell him, but Jimin convinced himself that was all there is to him. But he still interpreted the stuff he didn't understand about Seokjin in ways convenient for him. That's just the person Jimin was. He was naive and stupid, and because of that, he lost any chance of redemption with Seokjin.

Things were never going to go back to the way they were.

Chapter Text

"I'm glad to see you showed up this time, Seokjin. How have you been since the last time I saw you?"

"Fine."

"Any improvement with your insomnia?"

"Nope."

"Were you forced to come here today?"

"Correct."

Seokjin's therapist, Dr. Lee, leaned back in his chair, writing down points in his notebook. He didn't look annoyed by Seokjin's lack of interest, unlike past therapists and counsellors. He simply nodded and asked questions, the same expression always present on his face.

Seokjin was almost convinced he was a robot.

"Did your parents find out you were skipping sessions again?" He asked, not looking up at Seokjin as he continued to write.

"Yep," Seokjin replied, sticking to his one word answers. His father practically screamed down the phone at him, demanding that he show up to every scheduled appointment from now on or else he would cut Seokjin out of the family will. Like Seokjin even cared about their money in the first place.

He was glad he didn't have to deal with his father in person, which would've been even more unbearable. He didn't have his brother to protect him from father's wrath anymore, like he used to. Everything was different now.

"I see." Dr. Lee pushes his glasses further up his nose. "Would you like to talk about it? Your family, I mean."

"No," Seokjin said sternly. He wanted to talk about as little as possible whilst he was here. He didn't need a fucking therapist, he told his parents time and time again. Bottling it up wasn't healthy, he knew that, but paying a total stranger to act sympathetic wasn't going to make it any better.

"Why is that?" He asks in his monotone therapist voice.

Seokjin understood how this all worked, he's been to enough therapist session's to see through their bullshit, how they'll keep asking questions until they're satisfied, forcing answers out of their patient without the poor soul even realising it. "You aren't supposed to ask me questions about that, I remember specifically filling out a form that requested this."

"I'm just doing my job, Seokjin. I'm trying to help you face your problems."

"That's not what I'm paying you for. If you can't respect my wishes then I'll take my service elsewhere."

Seokjin didn't care how rude he sounded, he wanted to run out of the room and never return.

Dr. Lee finally stops writing in his notebook, leans back in his chair and stares at Seokjin. "I'm sensing a lot of frustration right now."

Seokjin wanted to tear his eyes out. Did therapists not understand how condescending they sounded? He felt like he was being treated like a child. It was infuriating.

"The only thing frustrating me right now is you and your stupid questions," Seokjin huffed, looking away from him. He didn't like the way Dr. Lee was looking at him, like a dying patient at a hospital. He didn't need to be treated, there was nothing wrong with him.

"Are you angry all the time because you enjoy the way it feels? Or is it merely a desperate defence mechanism against facing your worries, or experiencing true intimacy with others?"

Seokjin clenches his fist, telling himself to calm down, that he only had to grin and bare it for another twenty five minutes, but Lee's words were beginning to hit a nerve or two. 

It wasn't fair for him to sit there and judge Seokjin like that, he barely knew him. People like that think they know everything about everyone, that they're better than the rest. That arrogance was enough to make Seokjin want to vomit.

"I know what you're probably thinking," he interrupts Seokjin's thoughts. "Who does this asshole think he is? He doesn't know a thing about me! He should mind his own business! Something like that, I assume." He puts both his arms behind his head, looking rather too comfortable for his own good. "But here's the thing, I don't need to know you to understand you. All of your words and actions speak for themselves, telling me their own story. If you don't want to talk about your problems, that's fine. I can't force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. But, whilst you are here, why don't you try and make the most out of it? You're supposed to be here three times a week, thirty minutes each session. That's barely taking up much of your time. So, how about using that time to do a little self improving? There's never any harm in that."

Seokjin stayed silent, not wanting to agree with anything he had to say. Maybe he was acting like a child, but he was beyond caring at this point. He had a point to make to his parents and himself, that he had absolutely no reason to be here right now, even if Dr. Lee made a few valid points - not that he would ever admit that.

"Is there anything else going on that you wish to talk about instead? I heard you have a big production coming up in the next couple months, that must be very pressuring," He continues when Seokjin shows no sign of responding.

Seokjin blinks, pursing his lips. "It's actually going great. No pressure whatsoever," he lied through his teeth.

Dr. Lee smiled for the first time, but only slightly. "So you have no concerns about it at all? No fear of its potential failure?"

Seokjin rolls his eyes, making a huffed noise. "Of course I'm a little scared, but that's normal! Nothing for you to overanalyse or try and dig deeper into."

"I think you're a lot more scared then you're letting yourself show." His smile was looking a little too sympathetic for Seokjin's liking. "I think you don't like letting people see a weaker side of you."

"I think you're full of shit," Seokjin spits, proud of his response. He was definitely going to cancel these sessions after he left. Like hell he would ever return, even if his father disowned him, there was no way.

"You have different sides to yourself, one that you present to the world, and one you hide away. Most people can only see what you want them to see, but I can see the side of you that you want to keep hidden."

His eyes widen. Seokjin's hand's start to feel clammy. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's exactly what you want it to mean."

This was all too easy for this crazy therapist. He knew how to twist everything perfectly. Seokjin thought he was smarter than those crazy manipulation tricks, but he couldn't help but let himself wonder a little further.

"Alright then," Seokjin cracks his knuckles, nervously. "Since you're so smart, why don't you tell me exactly how I want to present myself? What is it I want people to see?"

Dr. Lee's eyes gleamed, rising to Seokjin's challenge. "You want everyone to see someone strong and fierce, who does what he want's and doesn't care what others think."

"But… I don't care what people think…" Seokjin trails off. "Why would I want people to think that? That makes me look reckless, unprofessional. I would never want that for my image."

Dr. Lee tilts his head. "It's normal for us to want people to think we are bulletproof. It's our own mechanism for dealing with our emotions and relationships. You aren't weird for wanting those things, since everyone is the exact same."

Seokjin really didn't like this. He curses under his breath, looking down at his feet. He felt so small and helpless in this room, talking to this fourty-something guy who sounds like he has the whole world figured out. Maybe he did and Seokjin was just underestimating him all along. He sure gave off that impression.

"What about…" Seokjin holds back a gulp. "…What do I want to keep hidden?"

Dr. Lee's expression remains the same, fairly unreadable, focused on Seokjin's every word and move, except there was a glimpse of something more caring that definitely wasn't there before.

"That you are lonely and afraid."

Seokjin's breath sticks to the back of his throat, clutching tightly. He can feel the alarms in his head going off again, attempting to get him to run, run, run, far away from the hurt and the pain that he tries so hard to mask every day, that somehow this total stranger sees instantly.

"That's not true, you don't know anything," Seokjin manages to speak. His whole body goes into instant defence mode, pushing away reality and any stretches of truth. It's what he does best, lie to every and to himself about everything.

The more he lies to himself that everything will be okay, it'll eventually come true… right? He's been doing it for so long, that it started to feel real.

He doesn't even notice Dr. Lee closing his notebook, shocking him at the loud sound of the pages slamming together. He presses his lips into a tight line, looking like he was trying to think of the right words to say to the actor.

"It's okay not to be okay, Seokjin."

~

Yoongi was only fourteen the first time he met Seokjin.

They first met on the train, when Seokjin had offered a tissue to a crying Yoongi. He thought he had been subtle with his sobbing, holding it in to the best of his ability the whole two hours he had been sat on that train. But his soft sniffles and watery eyes quickly attracted the attention of the person sat next to him.

The man who looked the same age held out a tissue into Yoongi's line of sight, smiling at him innocently. Yoongi looked up at the man, who was glancing at him, no judgement present on his face. He couldn't help but appreciate the small act of kindness from the stranger, who hadn't asked questions or stuck his nose into Yoongi's private business, like he was afraid someone would do if they had seen Yoongi's current state.

That morning, his mother had told Yoongi she was getting remarried. He still remembers the way his heart had felt, splitting apart into tiny pieces as she mouthed the words to him. He had never met this mysterious man, his mother had never mentioned a boyfriend or fiancé before. It had always just been her and Yoongi, no one else.

But now, he knew that someone else was going to be added to the picture, pushing him out of it completely.

He felt so immature and stupid, thinking all these possibilities in his head, that his mother would forget about him, try to replace him, not love him anymore. 

So he decided to run away.

He had stolen a handful of money from his mothers purse, jumped on the first train that arrived, and chose to never look back. 

Looking back now, he was too young to understand anything, to act rationally and realise how selfish he was being, how much he was hurting his mother. He was so ignorant back then, and made the most extreme and reckless decisions.

"You are pretty far from home, right?"

Yoongi blew his nose, not making eye contact with the stranger who had given him the tissue. He didn't want to talk, so he was scared of how wobbly and fragile his voice would sound. But the stranger was right, and apparently rather observant. Yoongi's school uniform was a clear indicate that he was probably not supposed to be there right now. The stranger was also wearing a uniform, much smarter and tidier than Yoongi's scruffy second hand outfit.

He grinned at Yoongi. "Don't worry, I'm pretty far from home too."

He started talking about himself in great detail to Yoongi, seemingly unbothered if Yoongi particularly cared much about his life story or not, but Yoongi didn't mind. In fact, In that short period of time, Yoongi really felt like he knew him. He knew that Seokjin was a neglected child, not necessarily ignored but not necessarily paid attention to either. He knew that Seokjin didn't believe in fate or God or the future being set in stone. He knew that he didn't really have many friends due to him moving schools a lot. He knew that people thought Seokjin was wild because he was wild; following his most insane and crazy desires of his heart without batting an eyelid at the consequences or outcomes. He knew that he didn't want the typical perfect life that most people expected; the perfect kids, the perfect wife, working five days a week for some job that he had no love or passion for.

He told Yoongi how he was from Gwacheon, but had been sent to a private school in Daegu by his parents. He also told Yoongi how he was skipping school to go visit his brother in Seoul, as it was his birthday. He also found out Seokjin was only a couple months older, that he was an aspiring actor, and that he was planning on moving to Seoul the moment he finished school and started a new life.

Yoongi found a sense of comfort in the stranger rambling on about himself, allowing him to take his own mind off of his own troubles for a short while. Seokjin was a complete stranger, yet Yoongi didn't feel uneasy around him.

The train eventually reached it's final destination. Seoul, an unexpected journey Yoongi hadn't planned to take. He wondered if his school had called his mother yet, informing her of the fact that her son hadn't showed up to classes today. He turned his phone off so that he couldn't receive any messages or calls from anyone, but he was beginning to regret his decision.

The station was so big, filled to the brim with hundreds upon hundreds of people, rushing and pushing past each other to get to their train. He felt so small in this completely different world, having been used to the easygoing atmosphere of his small village in Daegu. He wanted to go home.

His eyes scanned the boards on the walls filled with different train times and where they were going, feeling his heart sink when he realised there were no more trains heading back to his town in Daegu for the rest of the day. He was stuck there.

He felt a hand grip his school shirt lightly, tugging his arm. Seokjin had been standing next to him the whole time, probably watching the horror on Yoongi's face as he took everything in around him.

"You don't have anywhere to go, do you?"

Yoongi felt scared, more scared than he had ever been in his life. The worries of his mother remarrying seemed so laughable compared to what he was feeling right now. He was such a timid kid, only fourteen and had seen so little of the world, never traveled or put himself out there.

"Do you want to come with me?" Seokjin asked, holding on a little tighter to Yoongi's shirt, but not too tight. 

Yoongi had nothing here, no one he could depend on, nowhere to go to, nothing important to him. All he had was this kind stranger, that he already knew so much about, asking if he wanted to come with him.

On one hand, his mind was screaming stranger danger, that this guy could've been lying about his identity the whole time, he could've been waiting for the right moment to lure Yoongi into a dark alleyway then drug and kidnap him, ready to sell him off as a slave to some rich pimp in the suburbs. But Yoongi trusted him, as crazy as it sounded, he trusted this stranger that had shown him a little kindness when he needed it most.

He nodded his head, letting Seokjin stir him through the crowd of hundreds, not letting go of Yoongi's thin shirt the whole time.

~

"Just call him you idiot," Jungkook muttered to himself, fingers hovering over the call button displayed on his phone screen. His finger edged closer and closer until it was almost touching the screen, then he threw the phone onto his bed, letting out a loud groan.

He lay his head back on the ground, smacking his cheeks a couple times to try and gain some confidence. Everything he was trying wasn't working. He couldn't do it. There as no way in hell.

He had been doing this for hours, trying to call Namjoon and failing miserably each and every time. He was the most cowardly chicken he had ever had the displeasure of knowing. Why couldn't he just be the cool smooth guy that everyone fantasises about and call him? How did some people have the balls to do that?

He found his number on one of the notice boards pinned up in the dressing room, with a note attached saying that if any of the team had any questions or emergencies, to call him immediately. Jungkook had thought it would be a lot harder to get ahold of Namjoon's number, already prepared to either fake some bullshit excuse to why he would need it, or force someone else from the crew to give it to him. Luckily, God was on his side today. This way, he had saved himself the embarrassment.

But now here he was, sat on the floor in his small bedroom, trying to build up the courage to call Kim Namjoon. The next hurdle seemed like the hardest in his opinion.

He had no reason to call Namjoon, no good excuse as to why he would randomly call him up and start a conversation. They weren't friends, he wasn't a vital part of the crew that he had to call and ask for advice, he had no proper connections to Namjoon, so if he were to call him, what should he even say? 

He was such a dumb fuck, he couldn't even think of one good excuse to call him up with, one reason why he had any right to call Namjoon in the first place.

Namjoon was a pretty great guy, always so cool and collected, he would probably laugh in the really goofy way Jungkook has heard from him before, not batting an eyelid as to why Jungkook was calling him, or even wondering how he got his number in the first place. Namjoon was that type of guy.

Jungkook picked his head up off of the floor, glancing at the phone that lay on his bed sheets. The screen was still on, displaying the contact number Jungkook had typed in. "Come on, you son of a bitch. You can do this."

Sitting on his bed, he picked up the phone, staring at the screen again.

He could just be honest with Namjoon, say that he wanted to hang out some time, ask him how his day was going, tell him he thought he was really cool and wanted to get to know him better…

Or he could just chicken out again and whine about it for another twenty minutes before trying again.

H shook his head furiously. He wouldn't give up again. He had to do it this time, there was no other chances after this. He told himself that this was the last time, and that if he didn't succeed, he would give up completely.

Before thinking about it, he pressed the call button, and it instantly started dialling the number. Panic filled his bloodstream, his pulse speeding up the moment he head the dealing, but it wasn't out of fear. He was excited to speak to Namjoon, he wanted to speak to Namjoon. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so gleeful at the thought of talking to someone, it was a foreign feeling in his stomach.

"We are sorry but the number you are dialling is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone."

He really was the dumbest fuck in existence, a real dumb dumbass.

He hadn't even considered the thought that maybe Namjoon wouldn't pick up, that he was probably busy with better things to do than talk on the phone with a helpless little boy like Jungkook.

He wanted to laugh at himself and his stupidity, laugh at how worked up he had gotten himself, only for it to fail. But he couldn't laugh. Instead, disappointment washed over him completely.

He wished had hadn't told hissed that was the last chance. He wasn't sure when the next time he'd have the confidence to do that again.

~

Seokjin had been moping over their apartment for days now. It was really starting to annoy Yoongi. He doesn't mean to get on Yoongi's nerves, but the way he keeps whining and groaning and lying around feeling sorry for himself was getting under Yoongi's skin.

He knew it was because of Jimin. He hadn't called Seokjin, returned any of his messages, gone to rehearsals, he was clearly going out of his way to ignore Seokjin and avoid him.

The whole ordeal made Yoongi confused. Seokjin hadn't spoken a word about it, so Yoongi wasn't sure about what had exactly happened between the two weirdos. Seokjin had this way of acting like everything would be okay if he just stayed silent and pretended like nothing ever happened, but Yoongi knew that it was eating him up inside. When Seokjin had something on his mind, his whole demeanour changes, and so does everything and everyone around him. Yoongi wasn't sure if Seokjin even knew the effect he had on his surroundings. It scared Yoongi just a little.

He knew it wasn't his place to ask questions, to poke his nose into Seokjin and Jimin's business when he clearly had no right to, so he kept his mouth shut and let Seokjin pity himself all week without a word of complaint. There was no point in asking anyway, he has known Seokjin long enough to know that there was no forcing information out of that guy. He had to open up when he was ready.

He was probably the most frustrating person Yoongi had ever met, and probably as equally frustrating in everyone else eyes as well, including Jimin's.

When Seokjin told Yoongi that he was finally going to go to one of his scheduled therapy appointments, it felt as if an alien had swooped down from mars and replaced his best friend with this much less stubborn, far more compliant mutant. Seokjin never went to his sessions. Seokjin never actively looked for help. Seokjin never gave in so easily.

Yoongi had overheard the phone call between Seokjin and his father, not missing how purely pissed off his dad sounded on the other line, calling Seokjin a number of horrible names and phrases that made Yoongi wince in disgust. 

If he had a father like that, he'd probably turn out just as closed off as Seokjin as well. 

But Yoongi hadn't expected Seokjin to comply, thinking he would just miss it again and deal with another string of angry phone calls as he usually did, acting as if his fathers words didn't bother him. He wondered what made Seokjin change his mind.

When mid day came around, Yoongi had been sat on his couch, writing down a long list of equipment they needed to sound check and test were all working properly for the show, when he heard a knocking on his door.

"Jimin?"

He answered the door, thinking it was probably another package for Seokjin from one of his excessive online shopping sessions, but instead he found Jimin stood timidly at the door, clutching his arm nervously.

"Can I come in?" He squeaked, looking anywhere but Yoongi's eyes. His voice was quiet and careful.

"Sure," he responds, leaving the door open as he returns to his position on the couch. Jimin follows him in, shutting the door behind him. There was something off about him, Yoongi thought. Jimin was a fairly shy and awkward person, much like Yoongi, but today he looked as if he was stepping on glass. "Seokjin isn't here right now, but you're free to wait for him, if you want."

Jimin didn't answer, still looking around the apartment with worry evident in his eyes.

"By the way," Yoongi started, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I didn't get a chance to thank you properly for helping Seokjin last week." He saw the way Jimin'a body visibly tensed up, but he kept talking. "You did a really good job at calming down, you know. Usually, I'm the only one who can really get through to him when he's that panicked and anxious, but you clearly had a big effect on him."

Yoongi hadn't forgotten what he saw as he ran into that room to help his friend in need. The way Jimin had been cradling Seokjin's head, rocking backwards and forwards like a mother does to their distressed child. And the way Seokjin had been gripping so tightly onto Jimin, his knuckles white and nails digging in deep, possibly leaving red marks.

Seokjin looked safe, protected. That's how Yoongi hoped he had been feeling in that moment, at least.

He paused, thinking back to all the times he's had to deal with Seokjin's pain, his darkest moments and irrational outbursts. Jimin had so easily calmed him, like he was meant to be there for Seokjin all along. Yoongi couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at how little time it took for Jimin to do all that, despite Yoongi having known Seokjin for longer. 

"He's been wanting to see you," Yoongi starts again, sighing at the end. "Look, I have no idea what's going on with you two. Frankly, you two are some of the weirdest people I've ever met when it comes to stuff like this. But whatever has happened, you guys really need to talk. Seokjin has been looking sad all week and I know it's because you won't speak to him."

Jimin shuffles his feet on the wooded floor, standing relatively close to the door. He looked as if he was ready to run out of here any moment. "I'm not here to see Seokjin. I'm here to see you."

Yoongi couldn't help but frown. "Me?"

Jimin nodded slowly, his lips starting to quiver. "Hyung… I've fucked up. I've fucked everything up."

The room felt smaller and smaller the longer Jimin stayed silent. Yoongi moved uncomfortably in his seat, trying to readjust himself to a position that felt right. But nothing felt right. It all started to feel wrong the moment Jimin entered.

Jimin took a deep breath, clenching his shaking fists. His eyes were glued to his shoes. "I know about Seokjin's brother. I know everything."

Yoongi feels his heart stop in his chest, a flood of anxiety creeping in slowly. Seokjung's face was as clear as day on Yoongi's mind, like the first time he had ever met him, his bright smile even wider than Seokjin's, his hands even softer, his words hitting deeper in his heart than anyone else ever did, inviting Yoongi into his home for the first time when he was lost and alone and had no where to go. Seokjin had led him into the light, but Seokjung had been the one to preserve it. He quickly pushed his face out of his mind, too dangerous to venture into his past thoughts and feelings, his grief already buried and felt with. He wasn't the one who had suffered from his death, it was Seokjin. He wasn't allowed to steal that spotlight, he had to support his friend from the wings.

"What do you mean by that?" Yoongi asked, his voice low and dangerous. "Did Seokjin tell you?" He stared straight at Jimin, demand answers and reasons, but Jimin once again stayed silent, the guilt evident on his face. "How the fuck did you find out." He didn't voice his thoughts like a question, his blood already boiling under his skin.

"I-I was searching online… and found a newspaper article," Jimin stuttered, gulping at the sight of Yoongi's rage. "Fuck fuck fuck, what the fuck have I done?" He sounded as he was talking to himself, running his hans through his hair worriedly.

"So you deliberately ignored what I told you before, going behind mine and Seokjin's back and betraying any form of trust you had with us, just to get some fucking answers?!" Yoongi could barely contain his rage. He thought he could trust Jimin, he thought Seokjin could trust Jimin. From the way things looked, Seokjin was opening up to Jimin more and more each day, his walls that he keeps up so highly slowly being knocked down one by one every time he is with the other man.

He storms up to Jimin, grabbing his shirt tightly. His expression is hard as a rock, contrasting to Jimin's delicate and fragile features, looking like he would break down any second. "You had no right. No fucking right. Do you realise how much you've hurt Seokjin by doing this? It'll destroy him."

He warned Jimin. He trusted Jimin. He thought that maybe, just maybe… he could achieve what Yoongi couldn't.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never reach Seokjin. He pushed and pulled and as hard as he could, running for miles and miles, hoping to catch up to Seokjin, to finally reach him. But he was always too slow, or maybe, Seokjin was too fast. He had gotten so close, feeling Seokjin at his fingertips, but every single time, Seokjin had gotten further and further away.

But Jimin could run faster than Yoongi. He could run faster and faster, slowly catching up to Seokjin, until finally, one day, he would reach him. But Jimin had decided to take a short cut instead. He decided to cheat his way past Yoongi.

Seokjin had tried so hard to erase Seokjung, he contacted so many media outlets, begging them to remove their articles and pictures. He got facebook to delete his page, his Instagram taken down, all traces of his beloved older brother disappearing right before his eyes. He worked so hard to remove him from his life, to go back to pretending that everything was okay. But Jimin had cheated. He fucking cheated and it wasn't fucking fair.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Jimin whispered, repeating the two words again and again. He wasn't putting up a struggle against Yoongi, letting himself hang limp on Yoongi's firm grip, as if he knew it was what he deserved. It only made Yoongi angrier.

"He was going to tell you…" Yoongi muttered through his teeth, gripping even tighter than he thought possible. "He was going to tell you when he was ready. That was Seokjin's story to tell, his pain and suffering to share, and no one else's. Not mine, not yours, but his. And now you've taken that away from him." Yoongi lets his head hang. "You've taken away that opportunity for him to open up, to grow and to grieve properly, and for that, I fucking despise you."

"I know… I'm sorry. I've ruined everything," Jimin responds, feeling even more limp than before. Yoongi thought that if he suddenly let Jimin go, he'd collapse onto the ground. 

Yoongi thinks back to the night of the party, the way Seokjin's face filled with worry when Jimin had gotten injured, the way he helped him up and held him close for the rest of the night, the way he whispers words of relief to Jimin to sooth him, stroking his wrists so lightly, like a feather. 

"I don't have any excuses, I have no idea what I was even looking for… until I just stumbled upon it. You were right, I had expected too much of Seokjin, I wanted answers and I wanted them right away, I was impatient and I let that part of myself get the better of me. I would hate me too if I was in your shoes," Jimin spoke, voice wobbling slightly every time he paused.

Yoongi wanted Jimin to leave, to never come back, to never speak to Seokijn again and spare him of anymore pain, but he couldn't. Seokjin had this strong bond with Jimin, one Yoongi wasn't entirely sure he completely understood, but the way they looked at each other, like they didn't ever want to say goodbye, made him realise how much they needed each other right now.

"You have two options here," Yoongi said, his deep and threatening voice finally gaining Jimin's proper attention. Their eyes made contact, and Jimin visibly gulped. "You can get the fuck out of our apartment right now, and never speak to Seokjin ever again. I don't care if you have to drop out of the fucking play, to be honest, I don't think we even needed you in the first place. You have already caused enough damage, so you have the choice to leave while you still can." Now was Yoongi's turn to pause, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. "Or… you stay, and spend as long as it takes to make it up to Seokjin. You lost your chance to hear his story properly, but you still haven't heard it from his own lips, with his own words. Some stupid article doesn't paint the whole picture, and Seokjin needs to hear it from himself just as much as you do." He drops his hands from Jimin's shirt, taking a step back to give him some space. "I hope you choose the right choice."

Jimin's eyes glistened, wide and filled with an emotion Yoongi couldn't find the right words to describe. Determination? Guilt? Sadness? Maybe it was all three. 

He hoped he was doing the right thing, that letting Jimin have the chance to redeem himself wasn't a mistake. He found himself wishing Seokjung was here. He would always know exactly what to do, what to say at the right time.

He really wished Seokjung was here with him right now.

~

"Taehyung, I told you I can't hang out right now. I'm dangerously ill and I don't want you catching my cold." Hoseok huffed, readjusting the phone by his ear. A loud whine edited from the device, causing Hoseok to rub his face furiously. This kid sure was persistent. At first it had been rather endearing, the cute texts, the long phone calls and sweet voicemails, but now it was starting to get a little excessive. 

Taehyung started calling him various times a day. Taehyung started asking him to meet him at various places. Taehyung started sending him gifts. It was all strange to Hoseok, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

"Why not? I don't care if I get ill. It'll be worth it if I get to spend time with you," He pestered, Hoseok could imagine a large pout on his face.

Maybe Hoseok had been stretching the truth a little bit when he said he was gravely ill and bedridden. In fact, he was sat at a picnic bench as he spoke with Taehyung on the phone, eating his lunch he had bought earlier from the store. He had a stuffy nose and the sniffles, but he wasn't weak enough to let him stay in bed the whole day. He had things to do, for gods sake. A dumb cold wouldn't beat the Jung Hoseok. No way in hell.

But when Taehyung had called asking him where he was, and if he could meet him to hang out, he found himself lying through his teeth. Hoseok was in no way a talented liar, but he was trying his damn well hardest to convince Taehyung that it wasn't possible for them to meet today.

He had nothing against the guy, actually rather enjoying his the past few occasions he had agreed to meet him. Taehyung was friendly, and he was really fun to talk to, never making Hoseok bored or wanting to tear his hair out due to the bland conversation. He was nice to be around.

But that was it. Just nice.

He wasn't an idiot, he knew Taehyung obviously had the hots for him. The fact that he was calling him at every possible opportunity and sending him roses in the post was enough to convince him, but also they way Taehyung smiled brightly at him, laughed at everything Hoseok said even if Hoseok was sure he didn't actually find the joke funny, and the stares he shot at Hoseok, were all signs of his strong affection.

It wasn't unpleasant at first. Hoseok rather enjoyed the attention. He thought it was just a small, yet undeniably cute crush. He didn't mind letting Taehyung hug him tightly, or accepting the flowers and chocolates with sweet messages attached to them. But now, Hoseok wasn't sure if he had let things go too far or not.

The more he spent time with Taehyung - which was a lot over the past week - the more attached Taehyung seemed to get.

Hoseok liked Taehyung, he enjoyed being around him, found him funny and entertaining, but he didn't like him like that.

He wanted something like Jimin and Seokjin had. Something passionate. Something dramatic and heart wrenching, that would make him want to cry with anger and rip his hair out. He wanted to feel like he was on his tippy toes all the time, like there was something unexpected at every corner.

Taehyung was sweet and warm, not raw hot passion.

"You have rehearsals and practice to worry about, I don't want you to catch a cold and end up having to skip those rehearsals just because you're ill," Hoseok tried to reason, poking his bland sandwich and salad that lacked any form of flavour. It was kind of like his life and all his romantic experiences. Bland. Boring. Flavourless. "I think I should go back to sleep now. I need to get more rest so I can recover." He fakes a yawn, hating how undeniably unreal it sounded to his ears.

"Then why are you sat at a picnic table right now instead of being in your bed?"

Hoseok turned his head to the left, spotting Taehyung standing across the lunch field, making direct eye contact with him. Oh fuck. He'd been busted.

Taehyung slowly made his way towards Hoseok's table, making the man internally panic, trying to think up some dumb excuse that sounded half believable. Taehyung's usual bright expression was no where to be seen, instead he looked stoic, serious as hell and it made Hoseok almost choke on his salad.

Okay, he had to admit. He looked kind of hot like that.

Taehyung placed himself opposite Hoseok, pulling out a lunchbox of his own and placing it on the table. Hoseok watched as he started eating his own lunch, not initiating and form of conversation.

This was unlike Taehyung, usually being the more talkative one of the two. He always had something to say to Hoseok, something he wanted him to see, something to show him, it was slightly exhausting at times. But today, Taehyung was deadly silent, and Hoseok felt unnerved because of this.

Should he say something? Hoseok didn't know if he should apologise for lying to Taehyung over the phone, ask him why he was here in the first place, or start talking about something completely unrelated to ease the tension.

"So I head that-"

"If you didn't want to meet me you could've just said."

Hoseok was quickly interrupted by Taehyung, biting his tongue due to the sudden interruption. Taehyung was looking down at his food, not attempting to take another bite.

"I had a suspicion that maybe you were lying to me, that you didn't want to see me, but didn't want to hurt my feelings, but I didn't want to believe that," Taehyung continued, looking up at Hoseok. He frowned, tilting his lead to the right. "I was starting to think that maybe I was annoying you, that you were getting fed up with me. I guess I was right."

"Taehyung," Hoseok started, but Taehyung shook his head.

"It's okay. I get it. I'm bothering you, and I need to stop. I do it all the time, it's probably why most of my friends get sick of me easily," He chuckles out, but Hoseok couldn't help but wonder if it was forced. "And I'm not trying to guilt trip you right now. I understand if I've been a bit too forward with you. I'll stop, if that's what makes you feel comfortable."

This damn kid. Hoseok was starting to get irritated by the way he was speaking, like he had caused so much grief to the older man. Hoseok had barely been bothered by it at all, and Taehyung was sat here, feeling sorry for himself over nothing.

"Listen, Taehyung," Hoseok said, not letting Taehyung stop him this time. "I like you. I'm not kidding. I think you're great. You're funny as hell and really sweet. Probably the sweetest guy I've ever met," Hoseok stops to scratch the back of his head. "And I don't even mind you calling me that much. The presents were great as well, I just don't want you getting your hopes up over something that probably will never happen. I shouldn't have lead you on, and I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression."

Taehyung is no longer looking at him with the brooding woe is me type of look he had on moments ago. Instead, both his eyebrows were raised, and eyes looking so brightly at Hoseok like he had done many times before. "I'm the sweetest guy you've ever met?"

Hoseok scoffed. "Is that the only thing you gathered from what I said?"

"It was the only thing that mattered," Taehyung smirked, shooting a wink directly at Hoseok.

"You're crazy."

"Crazy about you."

Hoseok felt himself cringe, not expecting Taehyung to suddenly be so open about his feelings like that. "You barely know me, kid."

"Don't you believe in fate? That there are some people you are just supposed to meet?" Taehyung asked, leaning forward on the picnic bench. "I felt that the first time we met at that party. I felt like, somehow, I was meant to meet you there. That you were someone I was supposed to know this whole time."

Maybe it was just because of the way Taehyung was speaking, or maybe it was due to the shock that was spreading throughout Hoseok's body, but he felt his heart beating a little faster at his bold words.

Fate. Something he felt so strong about. Something he knew existed, that there were some people who he had already met, and some he was bound to meet, who he was meant to have a connection with. He had no idea Taehyung had the same beliefs.

Maybe it was all just a part of his wild fantasies of love and romance, but the idea of meeting someone who you knew would change your life, made his heart race.

"Maybe you didn't feel it when we met, but I did the moment I saw you. And the more I spend time with you, I know it wasn't a coincidence that we stumbled into each other that day, that Seokjin hyung just asked me to take care of you for no reason whatsoever. It was meant to happen."

Hoseok presses his lips together, bitting the insides of his cheeks. Taehyung was sweet, he was gentle, he was warm. That was all Hoseok had seen in him.

But maybe there was a flicker of something more in his words, the way he spoke, his strong gaze that made Hoseok almost tremble.

"If you want me to stop, then I'll stop," Taehyung leans back again, his intense look being relaxed by the usual Taehyung that Hoseok was already so fond of. "But… If you don't mind, I'd like to see where fate takes us, if that's okay with you?"

Hoseok isn't sure what to say. He felt a little speechless. It wasn't the raging hot passion he longed for, it wasn't red fire oozing through his veins. It was a much milder version of his fantasies.

But it was still there. He thought it wasn't at first, but now he knew, that there was definitely something there, as mild as it might seem.

"Okay. Let's see what fate has in store for us."

~

Jimin couldn't wait for his long shift to end. He was slouched over on one of the uncomfortable staff chairs, enjoying his last few minutes on break before returning to the bar. It had been far too quiet the whole night, barely any customers or his regulars showing up. It made the night go far too slow, and he felt himself losing the will to live the longer he stood at the bar, bored out of his mind.

At least it kept him busy.

The past week, Jimin had taken up as may shifts as he could, covering extra hours and earning a fair amount of money. It was all a desperate attempt at a distraction. He was clawing his fingers into any excuse he could find, any reason possible, to put off thinking about what happened with Yoongi, the way Yoongi had looked at him, like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

He thought he saw something dark flash across Yoongi's features when he told him what he had done. Like a strike of lightning - there one second and gone the next - a look of pure hurt in his brown eyes, which was quickly covered over with ice, so cold he thought he felt the ice pierce right through him. But as it disappeared so quickly, Jimin had no time to ponder what he might've seen, what he thought he saw, and bit his lip doubtfully.

Was Yoongi in love with Seokjin?

His actions certainly suggested so, and the way he was so defensive of Seokjin, so intense with anger. Jimin wouldn't be surprised if he was. Seokjin seemed to have this enchanting power over just about anyone he met.

Jimin shook the thoughts out of his head, not wanting it to ruin his break. He didn't want to think about Seokjin. Didn't want to think about Yoongi, to think up this sick fucking love triangle that may or may not even exist, even if it seemed as if it was the only thing he could possibly think about.

But most importantly, he didn't want to think of the two choices Yoongi had given Jimin.

He didn't know what to do anymore. He never did in the first place. Both options seemed impossible, to leave Seokjin and never return, to stay and make things up to Seokjin, unsure of if he ever could redeem himself.

Seokjin deserved to know someone better than Jimin, to have found someone who would be patient and understanding, someone who wasn't greedy and incredibly selfish.

Jimin leaned his head into his hands. He wasn't even sure what he and Seokjin were to each other. They certainly weren't friends, ever since Jimin embarrassingly confessed his feelings to Seokjin, but they weren't dating either, because Seokjin had rejected him. They were in the confusing in-between, neither here nor there.

This whole situation was messy to the core, and every step Jimin took made things worse and worse, unsure if he could turn back.

"Jimin?"

He looked up at the female voice, spotting Minji in the doorway. She was looking at her watching, obviously signalling that his break was over, and that it was time for him to move his ass off that chair and get back to work.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," He muttered, still rubbing his face.

"Good." She smiled, turning to leave again. "Oh! I nearly forgot. Kim Seokjin is sat at the bar right now. I think he wants to see you."

His whole body tenses up, instantly removing his hands from his face to look straight at Minji, hoping she was joking right now. She looked serious, smiling with the same overly sweet smile she always had plastered on her face.

He wasn't ready to face Seokjin, to face what he had done. He needed more time, to collect his thoughts and figure out which move he would make next. He couldn't think straight with the way his heart had starting beating painfully right now. He didn't want to ruin things any more than he already had.

"He's been here for the past twenty minutes, and he look's pretty sad, if you ask me. He won't speak to anyone, he's just sitting there staring at his drink," Minji chatters on, not noticing Jimin's growing panic. "I wonder if he's okay…"

That was a stupid thing to say. Of course Seokjin wasn't okay. That man had mastered the art of hiding his emotions, plastering on a mask and convincing everyone around him that everything was fine. If Seokjin was failing to hide his sadness right now, then he was clearly extremely bothered.

Jimin slowly got himself up off the chair and hesitantly walked towards the door. He peaked out of the crack, and just as Minji had said, there was Seokjin, sat right at the bar, alone and staring at his glass of beer. From the angle Jimin was at, he couldn't see Seokjin's face, and he wasn't entirely sure if he was glad about that or not.

He was so pathetic, even more pathetic than he had ever felt in all the times he had encountered Kim Seokjin. He had the courage of a mouse, already feeling himself take two steps back, away from the door and away from Seokjin. He couldn't do this. He wasn't ready.

"Are you going?" Minji asked, peering over his shoulder.

Jimin wanted to roll his eyes and tell this girl to get lost, utterly irritated by her presence right now. He took a step out of the room, already knowing there was no turning back. There was no fighting the inevitable. He knew he had to face Seokjin at some point, there was no running away.

He walked behind the bar, counting every step in took to reach his destination. The closer he got, the more he could see Seokjin's face. He realised he hadn't seen him since the incident in the dance studio, suddenly filled with the urge to reach out to him, to ask him how he was, to talk to him desperately. 

Now that he was stood fully in front of Seokjin, behind the bar yet only a metre away, Jimin realised how much he missed the man in front of him. He hadn't seen him in over a week, and it felt exhausting not knowing how he had been, to see his face and hear his laugh, to go from seeing Seokjin almost every day, to not seeing him at all. There was something addicting about the actor, and Jimin didn't know he had been holding his breath until he saw him again. He felt like all the oxygen had returned in his lungs.

Seokjin hadn't looked up at Jimin yet, his head still hung low and his eyes were shut. He almost looked like he was taking a nap. His dark circles and messy hair certainly didn't help his image right now.

The guilt instantly returned into Jimin's vein's, thinking that he could've been the possible reason for Seokjin's current state. That maybe, he had been the one to cause this much pain yet again.

It's all your fault. It's all your fault.

"Hyung…" Jimin feels himself say without realising. He needed to say something, anything. But once again, his mouth failed him, letting himself stand here in silence like a fool.

Seokjin hummed, not turning his attention onto Jimin. One of his hands reached to his glass, picking it up and bringing it to his mouth.

"Are you drunk?" Jimin asked, not sure what else say.

Seokjin shook his head. "This is only my second glass, but I wish I was." His voice was deep, much deeper than Jimin had remembered it to be.

Jimin runs his hand through his hair. "Hyung, are you okay?" 

Seokjin grunted, sounding like a no. He sighed, leaning himself off the counter and opening his eyes. "I'm just tired, Jimin." His voice was heavy, like it carried a hundred more words than he let himself show. 

He took a long look at Jimin, taking in his entire appearance. He probably looked like a mess right now. Jimin hadn't been sleeping very well himself this past week, and especially after the crazy afternoon he had with Yoongi, he wasn't feeling his best right now. He wondered what Seokjin was thinking right now when he looked at him, did he pity him? Did he also wonder what had happened to him? Where he had been these past few days?

Unexpectedly, he half smiled at Jimin. "You look like shit."

Jimin frowned, not sure how to react or what to say right now to Seokjin's amused words and expression. It wasn't a surprising response, Seokjin's usual laid back and charming persona making it's regular appearance. But Jimin had thought he would sound more… sad?

"You look like you did the first time I saw you," Seokjin said, sighing. "I remember seeing you through that glass door. You looked completely wrecked. It was amazing really." Jimin's ears perked up, intrigued to hearing Seokjin's thoughts when they first met. His mind went back to his list of things he loved at Jimin, the way he confessed to lying to Jimin for the first time that day. "You know, I was looking for Hoseok, actually. He was the one I was searching for all along." He smiled, shaking his head at the memory. "I was told he was going to be in that studio all day, but there you were instead, and you were more than I had ever hoped for."

Jimin's heart feels like it was going to fall out of his throat, like he was going to cough it up out onto the counter in front of him. He was never supposed to practice in that damn studio that day, it was supposed to be Hoseok. All this time, it was never meant to be him that Seokjin found. But Hoseok had made him switch, and because of that seemingly harmless decision, Jimin's whole world changed the moment he laid eyes on Seokjin standing in the doorway.

"Things like fate and destiny, they're such bizarre things, really," Seokjin chuckles, tapping his glass. "I never thought I'd be the type of person to consider the possibility of them existing, but it all seems to wrong to leave it all down to coincidence." He looks up at Jimin. "I thought about it a lot, especially over the past few days. What would've happened if I had never found you? How would I have lived my life the past two months? And what would've happened to you as well?"

Seokjin had the confidence to voice all the questions Jimin had been wondering as well, leaving him as in awe of the man as he always has been. What would have happened to these two broken souls if they never met? Jimin starts to think that maybe Seokjin would've been better off knowing Hoseok, recruiting him instead of the mess of a person that is called Jimin. Maybe, Hoseok and Seokjin would've hit it off better, understood each other better, reached levels that Jimin and Seokjin couldn't.

But Jimin didn't regret meeting Seokjin. In fact, it was the opposite. Never in a million years, despite all the problems they've had to go through, would he ever regret all the experiences and opportunities he had been granted due to meeting Seokjin.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I forced you to be a part of a show you never wanted to involve yourself in, I'm sorry I made you deal with my stupid fucking panic attack, I'm sorry I led you on, let you grow feelings for me, only to trample on them. I really am a selfish human," Seokjin said, sounding like it was directed to himself. 

Jimin wanted to stop him, to tell him that he wasn't the selfish one, that it was all Jimin's fault, he was the one to blame. He voice was stuck in his throat, trying to find it's way to his mouth as Seokjin spoke.

"That sounded really emo. Jesus, I have no idea what I'm saying right now. This is so embarrassing. I shouldn't have come here. Sorry for bothering you." He starts to lift himself off the stool, but Jimin grabs a hold of his hand, forcing him to sit back down.

"No, it wasn't too emo. I love hearing you talk, I love hearing you be honest. It's all I ever wanted from you. Please don't be embarrassed," Jimin says slowly, letting his grip loosen from Seokjin's hand, but Seokjin quickly grabs hold of it again.

When their hands connected, Jimin's entire body shivered; not because it was cold, but the exact opposite. He feels incredibly warm holding Seokjin's hand. His skin was soft but his grip was firm and reassuring, and even though the bar was fairly cold, Seokjin's hand was warm. It made his heart skip a beat for a reason he couldn't say.

"I read your list today," Seokjin says, interrupting the moment they were sharing with each other. He pulls out the list from his pocket with his other hand, not wanting to let go of Jimin's. Sucking in his breath, Jimin caught a glimpse of the list he wrote, the raw emotions he felt when writing down the endless good things about Seokjin resurfacing in his mind. "I had completely forgotten about it, but when I found it in my jacket pocket, I came over here straight away, without even thinking about it." He squeezes Jimin's hand slightly, making butterflies jump in his stomach. "Do you mean all those things you said? All of them?"

Jimin nods, not taking his eyes off Seokjin's for a second. But Seokjin breaks the gaze, looking down at their hands. He wished Seokjin had kept looking at him, deep into his soul, practically right through him. He wanted Seokjin's gaze to pierce his skin, to make a permanent mark on him.

"I really fucked things up, didn't I?" Before Jimin could interrupt, to tell him that it wasn't him, Seokjin continued. "We were having such a perfect day, and I just had to go and ruin it. I have replayed everything in my mind at least a thousand times, thinking of how things would've turned out if I had only just listened, if I hadn't shut you out like that. I wish things didn't end the way they did, hurting you so badly. I wish I could've said something different."

All of the events that had happened earlier were washed away by Seokjin's voice. His confrontation with Yoongi, the article he found of his brother, the week of torture he spent avoiding Seokjin, the situation in the dance studio, none of them mattered right now. All that mattered was the man in front of him, holding his hand tightly like he wanted to hold on forever.

Yoongi had given him two choices, two outcomes to decide to follow. 

Jimin had made his decision.

Just as Seokjin had finally looked back up at Jimin, the man opposite him placed one of his hands on Seokjin's cheek, his other hand squeezing back. And before Seokjin could question him or react in any way possible, Jimin leaned himself over the counter, and pressed their lips together.

Jimin could feel the surprise on Seokjin's lips for several seconds, before he slowly started to kiss Jimin back. Seokjin's other hand circles round Jimin's neck, pushing him deeper into the kiss. His lips are so soft, softer than he could've ever imagined. Everything in his body is screaming, tingling from the sensations that were brought from kissing Seokjin. 

He was kissing Kim Seokjin, and he had been the one to initiate it.

He thought Seokjin would pull back, to push him away and reject him again like he did on the street, but Seokjin pushed him closer, stroked his neck, as if begging him to continue. His smell, his taste, his touch, were driving Jimin insane, making him want more. Craving more. His head was on cloud nine, and it felt fucking amazing. It felt amazing that Seokjin was kissing him back, that he wanted this as much as Jimin did. He let his instincts take over, to do the unthinkable and go for what he wanted for the first time ever, and here he was, lips on top of Seokjin's, furiously kissing each other like they had wanted this forever.

They continued to hold each other, and in that warm moment of pure bliss and relief, of mutual understanding and affection bursting at the seams, they found something in each other very dear, and perhaps everything that happened was meant to be after all.

Chapter Text

It's pouring outside.

Jimin holds his hand out of the door, feeling the full force of the rain hit his fingertips. The loud sound of thunder played somewhere far away in the distance. Jimin knew he should've brought an umbrella to work that day. He stared at the dark scene before him doubtfully, letting out a deep sigh of frustration. 

"Well, this was definitely unexpected," Seokjin said beside him, peaking over his shoulder.

Jimin hums in response, trying not to overthink the close proximity of Seokjin's body behind his own. "What should we do? Wait here until it stops?"

Seokjin looks at him with an evil glint in his eye. "I think you know the answer to your question already." 

Jimin blinks, totally unsurprised by Seokjin's spontaneity at this point. He smiled down at his feet, wondering when he had gotten used to the unexpected. He was crazy. Utterly and purely crazy, and Jimin adored it.

Seokjin pulls his thin jacket tighter around him. "You ready?"

Jimin shakes his head in disbelief, not properly prepared for what he and Seokjin were about to do. He was wearing his work uniform, for god sake. He would get soaked through in a matter of minutes.

"Am I ever?" He responds, throwing a grin straight back at Seokjin, who in return sticks his tongue out at him with glee. Amongst the gloomy weather and rain, he resembled the brightness of the sun.

"Three, two, one… GO!" Seokjin yells, grabbing hold of Jimin's hand as he sprints out of the doorway of the bar. Jimin let's himself get dragged into the pouring heavy rain, gripping on even tighter so that his hand doesn't slip out of Seokjin's.

Within minutes, just as Jimin had predicted, they were soaked through to the bone, the rain having hit them like a hard smack to the face. Their thin layers of clothing sticking to their dripping bodies tightly, their hair clung to their faces messily, but they were too busy trying to navigate themselves their way through the empty streets of the city, the only ones crazy enough to be running in this heavy rain like maniacs.

Jimin must've been just as crazy as Seokjin, because he felt himself smiling, despite the shivers of the freezing cold traveling up his spine. The rain felt like daggers on his skin, making the soft surfaces go numb under the attack of the raindrops, but he couldn't stop the giggles escaping his moist lips. His grip on Seokjin's hand tightens, listening to the soft sounds of his laughter.

They just kept running and running, not turning their heads or stopping for anything. They're laughing loudly, the coldness taking over their senses yet exhilarated by the chase, and they can't seem to stop. Adrenaline pumps through their veins with every step they take and it makes their hearts race. Their lungs ache for air and their hands only grip tighter, tighter, tighter to their palms, but Jimin doesn't care because this is what it feels like to be alive. 

He feels invincible.

He pulls on Seokjin's hand, making them stop in the middle of the street. Seokjin sends him a look of confusion. "Why'd you stop?" He yells over the rain, wiping away the water on his face.

Jimin is breathless, taking a moment to stare at Seokjin and gain his composure. His nose and cheeks are bright red from the cold, his hair a complete mess, but he is smiling so brightly it almost makes Jimin look away. He's crazy beautiful, and Jimin realises how much he missed all this. They hadn't been apart for that long, but it felt like years since he saw Seokjin like this.

No, he doesn't think he's ever seen Seokjin like this before.

He shakes his head, water droplets falling everywhere, and swallows his fears. He wanted to kiss Seokjin again. He wanted to feel his lips on his own, like they had only an hour ago.

"You know," He starts, forbidding himself from turning back now. "Hoseok has always told me about this little fantasy of his. To share a passionate kiss in the rain. And I'll admit, although a little cheesy and gross, it kind of appeals to me as well…" He steps closer to Seokjin. "And then I thought to myself, when will I ever have the confidence to say this again? Everything feels so crazy and unreal, but you…" His hand trails down Seokjin's arm, unafraid, until it wraps around his waist. "You make me feel crazy. I know this all sounds kind of stupid and cliché, but I really figured I should ask now while I still have the courage-"

Seokjin quickly wraps his hands around Jimin's neck, lips enclosing around Jimin's before he could finish his sentence, and Jimin soon returns the kiss. It wasn't like their first, it was even more perfect. One where neither of them can stop giggling, stop shivering, and stop kissing each other, unable to keep their hands off each others bodies. Kissing Seokjin was like jumping out of helicopter, arms feet and legs waving around in complete and utter chaos. Kissing Seokjin was like submersing himself to an extreme sauna, then taking a bath with water imported from Antarctica. Kissing Seokjin felt like a field of every flower under the sun flourishing, with every colour that he has ever known. He was intoxicating, and Jimin never wanted this feeling to stop.

He can feel Seokjin's laughter against his lips, smiling into each others mouths. Their teeth lightly scrape against each other, and the kiss was messy and sloppy in the freezing rain, but that only made it more perfect. He feels Seokjin's hand cup his neck tenderly like a warm cup of coffee, and he kisses Jimin deeply, as if he was trying to swallow him whole. He leans over Jimin slightly, making him lose his balance. He trusts Seokjin to not let go of him, to let him fall back onto the ground. 

Seokjin doesn't let him fall.

There was something else in the kiss, something deep in the pit of Jimin's stomach that he couldn't quite comprehend. There was a slight desperation in the kiss, like Seokjin was begging him to notice something, to figure out his message. 

Jimin entangles both his arms around Seokjin's back, grabbing onto his thin jacket, and they kiss like this with his head tilted back, surrendering to Seokjin, to the inevitable. They kiss, slowly and passionately, letting go of all the pent up emotion they had both been holding in for so long. It's not cute anymore, its burning and hot, ardent and tender. They finally worked themselves into a rhythm, and their breathing comes naturally to them. It's out of this world. It's mind-blowing. It's beautiful.

Eventually, Seokjin pulls away and rests his head on Jimin's damp shoulder, laughing wildly, and it sounds amazing. It reminds him of hands being held in the cold, tender gazes and soft touches, stroking the back of his injured hand. It reminds him of longs lists being written in the sunshine, books being vandalised, and promises being made, over and over again.

He feels the way Seokjin shivers against his body, spine tingling. Somehow in this cold rainy weather, he still manages to find the warmth in Seokjin's body, keeping Jimin's from completely being consumed by the cold.

He engraves this image to the back of his eyelids; Seokjin, breathless in front of him, lips pulled up into the sweetest smile, brilliant dark eyes shining brightly in the darkness, cheeks a shade of crimson red, rich messy hair drenched from the rain, his skin covered in crystal droplets of water, perfect, stunning, beautiful.

Jimin has surrendered a part of himself to this moment in time. To Seokjin, and he doesn't regret it in the slightest.

~

Jimin had regretted ever stepping foot in the horrid rain last night.

He had let himself fall into this stupid fantasy that Hoseok had painted out for him, not taking in the possible outcomes that awaited him when he got home.

"Keep your germs away from me, I don't want to catch your disease."

Jimin sniffles for the second time that minute, wiping his nose with a tissue. His head felt dizzy, preventing him from thinking properly. But he was still stable enough to throw a middle finger up at his roommate.

Jungkook cackled, picking himself up off the kitchen stool, staring at Jimin with humour in his eyes. Jimin huffed, pushing a few stray tissue rags off the couch. He supposed he couldn't really complain, since it had been his idea to share a heated kiss in the pouring rain. It had been just over twelve hours since that moment, and Jimin swore he could still feel the tingle on his lips. The feeling of Seokjin's lips sliding against his, desperate and filled with raw emotion.

"Don't get mad at me! I'm the one who went to the convenience store to buy you tissues after all," Jungkook shrugged, making Jimin want to chuck one of his dirty tissues straight at his face. That would teach him a lesson for sure.

"I'm not even that sick, you brat," he insists.

Sniffle.

Jungkook sighs."Your nose is suggesting otherwise. You should just stay in bed today, get some rest and let yourself recover."

Jimin shakes his head. "No, I'm fine." He had class today, and he didn't want to miss it. He hated being behind in his classes, and nothing was going to hold him back, especially a measly little cold.

Sniffle.

"Get your fat ass back into bed before I kick it there," Jungkook demands. "I couldn't think of a better way to spend your birthday, all cozy in bed."

Jimin grunted in response. He didn't care much for birthdays, his own included. It was just another day like every other in his opinion. He hated being forced into the spotlight without his consent, and having a huge crowd singing happy birthday to him was his worst nightmare, the feeling of standing there awkwardly as a group of people who probably didn't care that much about him in the first place sung out of key for the hope of grabbing a slice of cake that was supposed to be for him.

Jungkook let's his hand fall onto Jimin's forehead, wincing slightly. "Yep, you're definitely not going anywhere today. You're burning up real bad."

Jimin wanted to explain to Jungkook that he was totally fine, that it wasn't as bad as it seemed, that he had to go to class even if he was feeling a little under the weather today. But it was a complete dead end. Words and sentences falling apart at his lips and melt into a grey pile of goo.

Maybe Jungkook was right. He should probably just give in for the day. That was what a mature adult would do. A mature twenty two year old, as he was turning today. Maybe that was what Seokjin would do, give himself space when his rehearsals aren't bending to his will. He should sit down on his bed with some warm tea to sooth his cold. Maybe throw some honey in as a twist.

He suddenly craved tea with honey, wishing he had asked Jungkook to get some when he had the chance. A warm fluffy blanket wouldn't be the worst thing as well. Maybe a Seokjin wouldn't hurt either.

He wondered what he was doing right now, if he was busy practicing as usual. Maybe he had caught a cold from the rain like Jimin did, and was bedridden just the same.

"Okay, I'm going now. Text me if you need anything," Jungkook says, guiding him to his bed and watching Jimin pull himself under the covers. "Oh, and I left your present by the TV."

"Thanks, doctor Jeon," Jimin snorted. He waves Jungkook goodbye, not missing the way he rolled his eyes as he shut the bedroom door behind him. Jimin faintly heard the sound of the front door opening and closing moments later, leaving him all alone in his small apartment, with nothing but tissues and thin blankets for comfort.

It was too cold in the apartment, the blankets not quite warming him up right, the coffee and other hot beverages unable to hit the spot quite right. He curses himself for letting himself stay in the freezing cold too long last night. If he wanted to kiss Seokjin, he should've been smarter and waited until they were in the dry and warm. But Seokjin gave his this strange sense of euphoria, that the craziest things became the most appealing. With Seokjin, anything was possible.

~

Jimin awoke to the sound of his front door slamming shut. He turned his head over to the alarm clock beside his bed, the time only being 1:30pm. Jungkook wasn't supposed to be back for another four hours. 

Jimin quickly leaned himself up off his bed, rubbing his face slightly. He hadn't expected to fall asleep so quickly after Jungkook left. His head was pounding and his nose still stuffy as before, his nap not doing much to help him feel better.

Footsteps were approaching Jimin's room, and he barely had the time to register that there was an intruder in their apartment. His head was hurting too much for him to properly process everything.

The door swung open quickly, making Jimin jump back under his covers with fear. He had no money to give the intruder, no valuable possessions. Maybe he could offer Jungkook's new weight lifting tools, since Jungkook was always telling him how expensive they were.

"Good afternoon, lazy bones! Rise and shine, hop out of that bed, and get your ass out here into the living room!'

Wait a minute. His intruders voice was strangely familiar, a merry tone that he had heard before. Jimin hesitantly pulled the sheet off his face.

Of fucking course it was Seokjin. What did he even expect?

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?! How did you get in?!" Jimin quickly pulled the sheets to cover his hand naked body, feeling his face flush instantly. "I thought you were trying to rob me!"

To Jimin's befuddlement, he sees Seokjin's lips pull back from a cheeky grin into a full blown out smile. He doesn't giggle, but just shakes his head and continues to smile as if sharing a joke with himself. His white teeth dazzle Jimin, appearing almost as bright as the moon itself. There's a sparkle in his eyes, one that's telling Jimin to be careful because this can mean no good. "Someone's angry today." He crossed his arms, the smile on his face still strong as ever. "The door was unlocked. You need to tell your roommate to be more careful, or next time I'll tell my criminal friends which apartment to go for next."

Jimin wasn't really sure if Seokjin was joking or not. There were endless possibilities when it came to Seokjin, so the idea of him hanging out with thugs and thief's wasn't completely insane. 

"Little birdy told me that you're not feeling so good," he continued, walking further into the room, placing himself beside Jimin on his bed, making Jimin edge further and further away. "Maybe asking for a hot steamy kiss in the middle of a storm wasn't the brightest idea."

"What are you even doing here?" Jimin asked, wanting to bury himself back under the sheets. He felt incredibly exposed right now.

Seokjin didn't answer. Instead, he placed his hand on top of Jimin's forehead gently. Jimin was probably a right sight to see, with his messy hair, his sweaty body - not in a pleasant way at all - his bright red and bloated face, his snotty nose that kept on dribbling, and puffy eyes fresh from his nap.

"Christ, you're absolutely burning up," Seokjin mumbled, his thumb ever so slightly rubbing over Jimin's forehead affectionately. His eyes scanned Jimin's features, making him feel self conscious. Jimin isn't sure why, he was kissing him in the rain only last night, but the small action makes Jimin's heart thump a little louder and his face feel a little hotter. "Good thing I'm here to help you out then." He removes his hand, Jimin's head wanting to follow it, to ask him to keep it there a little longer.

"What do you mean?" Jimin half mumbled, still not fully awake and aware. He lets out a yawn and Seokjin chuckles, ruffling his sweaty hair.

"Come on. Get dressed, and come out to the living room with me, I'll make you some soup. I bet you haven't eaten yet today."

He gets up and leaves Jimin to himself to change. His head falls back onto the pillow, relieved that he hadn’t made a complete fool out of himself yet. He has a history of acting slightly needy when unwell. The first time he called Hoseok his best friend was when he had been rushed to the hospital a few years back because of an incredibly high fever, a memory Hoseok now likes to bring up every time he thinks Jimin has rejected too many hang-out nights in a row. “Now who did you say was your best friend in the whole wide world that you’d give up your life for?” is what he’d say and Jimin would give in immediately.

Point being, Jimin gets a little vulnerable if sick. But it's fine, he's still ninety percent still in control of everything he does and says.

Not long after, Jimin hears the sound of the stove heating up, impressed Seokjin was able to figure out how to start it so quickly. It took him and Jungkook months to work it out, until Hoseok finally came round to visit one night, instantly getting the hang of the buttons that didn't make any sense to the foolish roommates. 

Jimin pulls on a sweater and jeans before leaving his room. He walks into the tiny kitchen that was barely ever used, and sat on his favourite stool. Seokjin was stirring a pot of soup, back turned to Jimin and not showing a sign of acknowledgement as he came and sat.

Jimin didn't mind. It gave him an excuse to watch Seokjin without any worries and in a close proximity.

He stares at Seokjin's shoulders, watching them move as he stirs the liquid. Had they always been that broad? There was so much he didn't notice about Seokjin. It felt nice discovering these small things. Little things that weren't important, but made Jimin more and more enchanted by Seokjin each time he found another.

"It smells good," Jimin says, disrupting the comfortable silence with his hunger. He hadn't realised how hungry he actually was.

"I should hope so." Seokjin glances back, the corner of his lips pointing up into a smirk. "It's store bought."

Jimin frowned. "I thought you said you were making me soup."

"That's exactly what I'm doing, but I never said I was making it from scratch."

That sounded like something Jungkook would say, Jimin thought to himself as he smiled. The brat would never make anything for Jimin by hand, always being half assed about everything. It was a little joke they had between each other, that had been going on for years. It looked like Seokjin had a bratty side to him as well.

"I feel betrayed. Utterly lied to and deceived." Jimin clutches his heart, faking his disappointment.

"I only hand make soup for the most special people. You aren't quite there yet." Seokjin turned around, winking at Jimin. Before long, he poured the soup into a bowl and placed it in front of Jimin. "Bon appetite."

Jimin muttered a few words under his breath, before tucking in to his dish. It was pretty good, for shop bought soup. He still wanted to try Seokjin's homemade food, though. He hoped the temperature of the soup was a good cover up for how red he must've looked right now. He wasn't special…yet. 

That little glimmer of hope lit something in his stomach.

Seokjin places what appears to be a mug of tea next to him. "Drink this as well, you'll feel better."

Jimin eyes the drink for a moment. "Got anything stronger than that?" He jokes.

Seokjin huffs out a small laugh. "I could add some more sugar if you want."

"I was thinking more along the lines of whiskey."

The eyebrow from the older ran is enough to prompt Jimin to accept the mug and take a big gulp. Alcohol might numb the headache at the back of his head but this tea warms his whole body from top to toe. 

Quickly finishing his tea, he returns his attention back to his soup, hungrier than he had expected. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he caught the glint in Seokjin's eyes, watching him carefully as he ate his lunch. "Make sure to give my compliments to the chef."

"Of course, of course," Seokjin bowed his head. "But I was only the sous chef. The real chef is Mr pepper." Seokjin lifted up the can from which the soup came from, the picture of a pepper with human features displayed on the tin. "I would feel dishonest for stealing the credit for his hard work, after all."

Jimin smiled brightly. "You're an honest chef. I'll make sure to leave you a tip."

Seokjin snorted, putting the tin back down and attempting to start cleaning up. "Anyway, enough clowning around. Now that you've eaten, go get your shoes on. We're going for a walk."

"A walk?"Jimin groaned. He couldn't think of anything worse. "Wouldn't that make me even more sick? And besides," He crossed his arms across his chest. "It's not like I am even that sick to begin with." Jimin argues before a sneeze blows his cover. For the hundredth time that day his own body calls him out on his own bullshit, it was a little embarrassing. 

Seokjin scrubbed the bowl Jimin had just been eating out of, raising an eyebrow towards the sniffling boy. "Oh? Is that so?"

Jackass, Jimin wanted to say. He couldn't find the energy to fight the stupidly handsome intruder today.

"How are you not sick as well? You were out there as long as I was," Jimin asked, changing the subject to spare himself the humiliation. 

Seokjin turned to face him fully again, grin so wide you could see all his teeth. "Only weaklings get affected by a little bit of rainfall. I guess I'm just God's favourite son."

Jimin flipped him his middle finger, making Seokjin stick out his tongue childishly. This whole situation, Seokjin taking care of Jimin, the light and cheerful banter, it all felt far too natural. It was like they had been doing this for years, just casually dropping in and taking care of their homies when they're sick. Jimin wondered when it started to feel normal.

"Enough chit chat, let's get out of here. A breath of fresh air is exactly what you need right now, and look!" Seokjin points towards the window and the sunbeams slipping through. "It's gorgeous outside! You want to stay holled up in your room like a slob when there are some fantastic instagram pictures to be taken?"

Jimin rolled his eyes. This man was insufferable. Totally and utterly insane. A complete pain in Jimin's ass. He tried to tell himself that he didn't love every single bit about it.

"Wait a second."

Jimin stopped rolling his eyes, suddenly aware of how close Seokjin had gotten to his face. Up close, Jimin could see all his features in better detail. Last night, he could barely see a thing, with it being too dark, too wet, and they had more important things to be doing - like making out in the freezing rain - instead of examining each others faces up close. He swears he can see some freckles scattering over his nose lightly.

Seokjin's hand reaches up to Jimin's face, and his thumb slowly traces the corner of his mouth, feeling like pure agony for Jimin.

Hot. Way too hot.

"You had soup on your lips." Seokjin smiled mischievously, pulling his hand back and leaning away from the counter, heading towards his shoes, as if he hadn't just turned the other man into a pile of goo right before him. Jimin was more than certain that he didn't even have any traces of soup around his mouth, that the fucker knew how much he affected him, and was just playing around for the hell of it.

God, this guy really has captivated Jimin.

~

"Do you have a secret talent?"

"I can do the splits."

"What? That's not a secret! You're a dancer, for christ's sake! Any respected dancer can do the splits."

"Well sorry if I suck at thinking of half decent answers. I bet you couldn't do the splits even if you tried. "

"Your clownery truly amazes me, Jiminie. I can do the splits as well, that's why it isn't special."

"What, you? Really?!"

"Why are you so surprised?"

"I need to see this. Drop and do the splits. Right now."

"I'm not doing the splits here, you fool."

"Why not? I won't believe it until you prove it."

"Look at where we are! There's dirt everywhere! If you think I'm ruining these trousers just to prove a point then you are even more of a clown than I thought."

"Alright, alright, you win. Next question."

This was how they had ended up, strolling around the campus, not heading anywhere in particular. Just wondering, soaking up each others company. For a while, they shared earbuds, listening to a playlist on Jimin's phone, staying in a comfortable silence as they walked. But most of the time, they talked. They talked about miscellaneous things, really; anywhere from conspiracy theories, how humans saw colour, life outside planet earth, stupid videos online, and their favourite TV shows. Jimin thinks he's never thought harder about life than when he's with Seokjin, and that kind of speaks volumes to him.

They ended up asking each up completely random questions about nonsense topics, things that Jimin listened to with extreme care, soaking up every little piece of information Seokjin was willing to share about himself like his life depended on it.

"Oh! I've got one. If you became president, what would your first act as ruler be?" Jimin asked, shoulders tingling from bumping into Seokjin slightly.

"That's a good one," Seokjin sighed, looking up in thought. It was kind of cute. "I guess, to just be nice to everyone, you know? I think this place could do with a little more kindness, if you ask me."

"Wow. I was expecting world domination or an act of pure evil. I didn't think you had a soul."

Seokjin hit Jimin's arm. "What do you take me for, some crazy overbearing dictator?!" Seokjin glared at him. "You know what? Don't answer that. Do you have any scars?"

"Oh, I've got loads, I've honestly lost count. There's one from when I ran into a pole as a kid on my shoulder, theres one from falling on some shells at the beach, oh, and this one here is when my brother let a stray cat bite me, and-"

"Where's this one from? The one from your middle knuckle?"

"Oh, that one? Ahh… that's from when I used to have braces. I somehow knocked my hand into my mouth and it left a scar."

"How do you knock your own hand into your mouth?"

"I dunno. I can't remember. How long do you think you could go without talking? And be honest."

"I would go insane after ten minutes. And that's probably being too generous. What was the last thing you drew a picture of?"

"Does a stick figure on my science notes count?"

"Nope. Think harder."

"You're too mean, hyung. I don't draw, so that's gonna have to be my best answer. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?"

"Maybe 3.5, because if I'm all alone it can be really scary, but if I'm with someone else then it's not scary at all. You have a button that will make any one person explode, who will it be?"

"Jungkook. No question. Or maybe Hoseok, if he's being annoying. Or even you."

"I'm deeply offended. This is the thanks I get after pouring my heart out into that soup I made for you?"

"You didn't even make it! It's fucking shop bought!"

They continue to bicker and argue light heartedly, still unaware of how far the had travelled together or how long it had been. Jimin gripped onto every word, entranced with Seokjin's mind and his words.

It was almost comical how much things had changed in a day. Yesterday, Jimin had been prepared to let go, to walk away and never look back. Right now, the thought seemed like a distant memory.

There were still strings in his heart holding tight to his guilt, bells chiming in his mind, reminding him of what he had done, how he had hurt Seokjin, without him even knowing it. He didn't deserve to with Seokjin right now, to be smiling and laughing until he was in tears, feeling happier than he had in years, not after what he'd done.

But he was still selfish. Selfish and way too greedy for his own good. But maybe it was okay for him to be selfish this one time. He was going to make it up to Seokjin, he was going to follow the right path, and he was going to change things for the better.

He glances over at Seokjin, who had walked a head of him just a little, telling him a story about how he once found his dog covered in peanut butter and sprinkles, and to his day he still doesn't quite know how he had gotten so messy.

Jimin is too greedy, he thinks. He is greedy and want's everything too fast. But he can't help it. When it's Kim Seokjin you're talking about, wouldn't it be normal to want more?

He wants to know Seokjin better than the back of his hand, what keeps him up at 2am. He wants to know what songs get stuck in his head, and how he falls asleep every night. He wants to know what words are at the tip of his tongue, what keeps him silent and what makes him want to howl at the moon, he wants to know what brings him to tears and and what he would do if he was given one million dollars to do whatever he wanted with. He wants to know the reason behind his fearlessness, he wants to know how cute he looks when he snores. He wants to know where he's going, what he's doing, how he'll make it there, and everything in-between.

Seokjin stops in his tracks, making Jimin almost stumble into him. He hadn't realised Seokjin had finished his silly story, going silent.

"You okay, hyung?" Jimin asked, taking a step back.

Seokjin turned to him, his smile warm. "Have you had a good birthday so far?"

Both of Jimin's eyebrows raise, a little taken aback. "Wait, you knew? How?"

"Of course I knew," Seokjin tutted, shaking his head. "You really thought you could hide this from me? Sooner or later, I would've found out." He flicked Jimin's forehead, making the man wince and groan in pain. "Your asshole friend left his present for you out by your TV, so I put two and two together and realised that you have been keeping quiet about your birthday, hm?"

Jimin shrugs. "It's not a big deal. I don't really care about birthdays, not really my thing."

"Don't care about birthdays?!" Seokjin gasped dramatically. "A whole holiday where you are the centre of attention and everyone around you has to worship the ground you walk on? Yeah, sounds terrible. Christmas is way better."

Jimin rolled his eyes at Seokjin's sarcasm. "Alright, when's your birthday?"

"December 4th. You better not forget it." He winked at Jimin. "I can't believe you don't like birthdays. You honestly baffle me sometimes."

"I don't like the idea of people sucking up to me for one day of the year, then going back to ignoring me the next," Jimin muttered, thinking of all his past birthdays and how fake they all felt.

Seokjin glances at him in amusement, tilting his head. "That's exactly why it's great! Everyone that hates you has to treat you like a noble for an entire day. I couldn't think of a better holiday."

Jimin sighs. "How many people do you have in your life that hate you?"

"Beats me. Most of them are just jealous nobodies. I can't help it if I was born this handsome and talented."

Now was Jimin's turn to lightly hit Seokjin's arm, delighted by the giggle that was returned by the affectionate slap. The tips of Seokjin's ears appeared slightly red, and Jimin was sure it wasn't because of the light.

"I wish you had told me."

Jimin's eyes dart towards Seokjin's, who was looking straight ahead. "Hm?"

"I would've prepared you a gift if I had known sooner," Seokjin says, his lips pouting ever so slightly, making Jimin want to bite them. "I always make sure to get the best presents. It's not fair."

Jimin couldn't help but grin at the slight whine coming from Seokjin. "Sorry, hyung. I didn't think it was a big deal."

Seokjin scowls, purposely knocking his shoulder into Jimin's. "When we're in Paris, I'll get you the most jaw dropping present, to make up for today instead. Does that sound good?"

Paris.

He had forgotten all about that.

He stopped walking completely, leaving Seokjin to walk a few steps ahead until he finally stopped as well. He looked back at Jimin, confusion written all over his face. "You okay?"

"You really meant it?" Jimin asked quietly. "You actually want us to go to Paris…together? It wasn't just a stupid fantasy you made up for us?"

Seokjin stares at him for a moment, deep brown eyes with flecks of gold, scanning every feature on Jimin's face. After a while, he smiled sincerely, no humour present. "Of course I meant it, dummy. I want to go to Paris with you. I'm serious!"

Jimin's breath catches in his throat, lungs completely frozen over. His heart began painfully pumping against his ribs, practically begging to be released from his chest.

Don't get too greedy, Park Jimin. Don't let yourself want too much too quickly. You already know what will happen if you do, he tells himself.

Jimin knew he was greedy, but for once, he couldn't care less.

~

Jimin fumbles for the keys in his pocket, listening to the soft humming of Seokjin behind him. It was sweet and delicate. Jimin imagined Seokjin had a pretty singing voice as well. He looked back at the man leaning against the wall, his eyes closed as he hummed his tune.

Suddenly, he stops humming, and opens his eyes to Jimin blatantly staring at him. "What?"

Jimin grins. "You have a nice voice." He felt less shy about voicing his thoughts these days, a weird confidence he never knew he had rising onto the surface.

Seokjin snorts. "You should see me at a karaoke bar. You'd change your mind instantly."

"Is that a deal?" Jimin smiles innocently, finally finding the keys in his pocket.

Seokjin smirks back at him. "What, to go to a karaoke bar together? Well, if you're so insistent then I guess I can't say no."

Jimin laughs, letting his head fall backwards. He put's the key into the lock and opens the door. "I'll make sure to bring a video camera."

Seokjin laughs along with him as they both enter the small apartment. Jimin notices a large black jacket is messily laid on the kitchen counter with no real care. It was Jungkook's favourite jacket. The one he had been wearing when he left earlier that day.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

The laughter in the room dies down in a matter of seconds as Jungkook locks eyes onto Seokjin, standing in the hallway. Then tension grew as the two brutes stared at each other, like they were battling over who could hold their gaze for the longest.

Fuck me, Jimin thought, wanting to run his hand through his hair. He didn't want a repeat of the dressing room incident, with two alpha male types practically trying to dominate each other.

"Aren't you supposed to welcome your guests?" Seokjin says, his voice calm in contrast to Jungkook's louder, more aggressive tone. 

"I don't remember ever inviting you here in the first place," Jungkook growled back, taking a step closer from the couch he had previously been sat on.

It was the exact same as before; both men arguing with Jimin in the middle. It felt like some sick tv show troupe.

"I thought you were back in a couple hours, kook," Jimin sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"I came back early to check how you were doing." He momentarily looked away from Seokjin to glance at Jimin instead. "I told you to get better, not bring an even worse virus into our home."

"Ouch." Seokjin chuckled, looked unaffected. He took a step back, holding his hands up in defeat. "I know when I'm not wanted, so I'll leave before you throw an even bigger rage than last time." He looks at Jimin, smiling. "I'll see you later, Jiminie. Happy birthday."

And then he was gone, leaving only Jimin and Jungkook left in the apartment. It was almost funny how empty a room felt whenever Seokjin left, no matter how busy it could be before.

Jimin wanted to go after Seokjin, to follow him wherever he wanted, just as long as their day together didn't have to end. It was so perfect, even more so than the last time they spent a whole day together, and somehow both days ended not so perfectly. This time, it was all Jungkook's fault, not Jimin's. So now Jimin was feeling pretty pissed.

Jungkook huffs loudly, practically throwing himself back onto the couch with a thud. He refused to look Jimin in the eye, who was glaring daggers into the side of his head. 

"Seriously Jungkook, I get you're trying to look out for me, but this bullshit rivalry thing you've got going on has to stop." Jimin breathes through his nose, his voice low and calm, just as he was trying to keep it. He was furious. He wanted to spend longer with Seokjin, to watch a movie with him, to order a takeout together. He wanted to know what topping Seokjin would've chosen, or what movie they would've fought over deciding. "It's suffocating. You're suffocating. I thought you of all people would've been happy that I started breaching outside of my comfort zone."

"Of course I'm happy for you, I just wish it didn't have to be because of that snake!" Jungkook snarls, finally looking back at Jimin. "Why can't you see how he's manipulating you? Why am I the only one to realise this? He will drop you on your ass the minute he's done with you, when he finally has no use left for you."

Jimin laughed bitterly. "And what use would that be? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the worlds most desirable man. I have very few talents worth mentioning, and zero traits that anyone would go to such great lengths over. If Seokjin was looking to manipulate someone, wouldn't he go for a person more noticeable?" 

"If that's really how you see it, you're in much deeper than I thought. He's gotten his claws into you and you're his fucking lap dog now."

Jimin had never wanted to punch his best friend more in his life. He had no right to speak of Seokjin that way, when Seokjin had done nothing to deserve this type of slanderous hate.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Jimin shouted, his calm and collected demeanour vanishing into thin air as he approached Jungkook. "You know nothing. Nothing about Seokjin, or us, or our relationship. What makes you think you can just force your way in-between and try and ruin everything? Is it jealousy?"

Jungkook stands back up, face to face with Jimin. "I'm trying to help you."

"Help me?" Jimin asks with venom in his voice. "That's fucking hilarious. If you wanted to truly help me, you'd stay out of our business."

"You think I'm just doing this for fun? That I'm trying to fuck up your relationship because I feel like it?" Jungkook says, hurt clear on his face. "I hate doing this as much as you hate it. I hate having to be the bad guy, but I know that no one else is going to show you the truth, so it had to be me."

"I think you're acting like a jealous, stupid little child, who needs to grow up and start acting their age. That's what I think." His voice goes low again, their faces close and threatening. Jimin can feel Jungkook's heavy breathing on his face. "Whatever grudge you've got against Seokjin needs to be buried in the sand, or else I'm not sure how much longer we can be friends." He takes a step away, then another, and another, until he has moved his body all the way into the kitchen, ready for this heated conversation to be over. Only two months ago Jimin might've been hesitant to have this debate with his best friend, but nowadays he felt like a new person. 

"You'd really throw our friendship away over some guy you barely know?" Jungkook says, his voice weaker and weaker every second. 

"You're wrong, Jungkook. I know him, like, really know him." Jimin frowns, finally taking off his jacket and throwing it onto the counter. "You're the one who I feel like I don't know anymore." He closes his eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say. For the first time in so long, I finally feel alive again and I'm not going to feel bad about it. It took me forever to realise how miserable I was and even longer to see t doesn't have to be that way."

The bright, doe eyed kid that Jimin had loved so dearly, tried so hard to clutch onto, wasn't there anymore. Instead, this man with an angry gaze had replaced him. He had replaced his best friend, and Jimin had tried for so long to not see it.

Jungkook's face seemed to crumble a little, glancing down at the floor. Jimin wanted to take it back and apologise, to hug him and tell him that they could forget all about this. He stayed stood in his spot, not moving an inch.

He was done with making excuses for Jungkook.

Jimin took this as a sign that their argument was over, so he took off his shoes and began walking to his room. He wanted to call Seokjin and apologise for what happened, and maybe ask him if they wanted to go catch a movie together.

"Do you know Kim Seokjung?"

Jimin froze instantly, his feet turning to stone. 

"He's Seokjin's brother. Me and him… well, we have history."

Jimin turned around. A familiar nauseous feeling crawling through his stomach and up his lungs. He and only ever heard Seokjungs name being spoken by Yoongi. It felt like foreign territory for him to step on, like it was all from a different world than his own. It was Seokjin and Yoongi's world, not Jimin's. But somehow, and for some reason, Seokjung had merged himself into Jimin's world all in a matter of seconds, all because of Jungkook.

"What…h-how…." Jimin stuttered. He had no words, nothing to even begin describing his pure confusion. "You really knew Seokjin's brother?"

Jungkook nodded, placing his hands in his pockets. For the first time in months, he looked incredibly small to Jimin.

"Hold on a second… I'm going to need you to explain," Jimin says, shaking his head in disbelief. "Tell me everything. And I mean everything."

Jungkook sighed, biting his lip. His large bambi eyes glanced around the room, as if trying to find something to help him start. "I met him when I first started here. He was a volunteer coach and convinced me to start training with him. So I started practicing with him, every single day. He was a really good teacher, I learned a lot from him back then." His words were fond, but his voice was the opposite. "He told me once that he became a volunteer at the college because he wanted to see his little brother more, but also because he always wanted to pursue a sports career, but couldn't because of an injury or something… I don't really remember it that well."

Jimin thinks back over his countless memories, of when he used to go visit Jungkook on his side of the campus, searching for traces of Seokjin's older brother. He doesn't ever remember seeing him there.

"Do you remember my first big basketball game? The one I had been training so hard for?" Jungkook asks, his hands fidgeting uncomfortably.

Of course Jimin remembered. To him, that seemed like the start of Jungkook's downfall. He can picture Jungkook from a year and a half ago, so excited and nervous for his first big game. He remembers how hard Jungkook had practiced, how devoted he was to getting better and better.

It was the first time Jungkook had let Jimin watch him play. To say the least, he had been totally blown away by Jungkook's talent. There he was on the court; glowing, a star on the court, the beholder of everyones attention. He was amazing that day.

But when he injured himself, his shine completely disappeared, making him lose the game had had worked so hard for.

Jimin had watched as Jungkook fell to his hands and knees. This defeat was a big deal to him, and all Jimin could do back then was watch from his seat. Tears streamed down his face as he got himself up off the ground, knee wrapped in a support pad and hobbling dangerously towards the changing rooms. Tape was also wrapped around his knuckle, Jimin later finding out that some of the bones had been fractured.

Thinking back to that day douses Jimin in a type of sadness he hasn't felt in years, and he can't quite explains it. He could feel the way Jungkook's heart had been breaking, his mind thrashing, his body shaking; he felt Jungkook's sorrow, his hatred.

He hates that day with his heart, body and soul. That day had stolen the Jungkook he knew and loved away from him, turning him into this hurtful person instead. It buried a seed inside him, one that anchored itself to his heart and has thrived off his self doubt and stress for years. Jimin can remember the same seed growing inside of him. He wonders when those dead weeds can finally blossom into flowers. He wonders if it will ever happen.

"My injuries…" Jungkook raised his right hand, clenching his fist as he stared at his knuckle. "They weren't an accident."

Jimin's mind falls silent, waiting for Jungkook to continue. He watches his best friend staring at his hand the same way he did when he first received his injury; with anger and hatred. 

Jungkook lets out a deep breath, dropping his fist. "Your boyfriends brother did that to me."

Jimin's throat tightens, his eyelids twitch. In the back of his mind he sees Seokjin's face, he sees the picture of him and his brother that Jimin found inside that book, he sees Jungkook's body collapsing in defeat, sagging to the floor so quickly, making Jimin's heart beat increase. The image makes his head hurt. He want's it to stop.

"When I was in the changing rooms at half time, Kim Seokjung came in to talk to me. I thought he was just going to give me some advice or cheer me on a little, just as he'd been doing all week leading up to the game, but instead… he fucking pushed me over, stomped on my leg and shattered my knuckle." Jungkook sucked in his cheeks, biting on the lightly. He looked as if he was trying his best to stay composed, but his words were sharp and dripping with malice. "I remember the doctors telling me that if I had been hit even once more, I might've had to give up sports for good. He could've fucking ruined my life, my career, everything! I would've had to drop out. And let's not forget the amount of games I had to miss out on because of my injuries…"

Jimin's body feels heavy, his shoulders collapsing on top of his lungs to the point where they felt too constricted to form words. His throat isn't of much help, having clamped itself shut. Something inside him wanted to say it wasn't true, that someone who was related to Seokjin could never do such a thing… But Jimin didn't know Seokjung, and he knew Jungkook, who was many things, but not a liar.

"Why…why didn't you tell me?" Jimin wheezed out, his head feeling light.

Jungkook eyes meet Jimin's, his eyes looking red and watery. "What was I supposed to say? No one would believe me, anyway." He quickly wiped his eyes dry. "He told me that if I said anything to anyone, he'd kill me. But at first, I didn't listen. I tried talking to a few of my hyungs in class, but they were in on the whole thing as well. They started making fun of me at every chance, pushing me into walls, stealing shit from my bag, locking me in classrooms. There was nothing I could do but sit and wait for the whole thing to be over."

The whole room was covered in a thick layer of tension. Jimin's teeth scrape his bottom lip harshly, not caring much if he draws blood from it. He had tried so hard back then, to get Jungkook to open up about his bullies, but he had always stayed so quiet about it, tight lipped and silent. 

"Jungkook…" he started, not sure where his voice was taking him. "…I had no idea."

He nods weakly. "I know."

Jimin thinks he can understand a little of Jungkook's rage towards Seokjin, or at least, where it all rooted from. He had trusted Seokjung, admired him, even. He had spent so long with him, learning from him, gaining knowledge from him, until one day, he was stabbed in the back by the very person he adored.

Only difference was, this was Seokjung, not Seokjin.

"Listen, Jungkook. I understand you now. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can see what's going on in that head of yours," Jimin says, forcing a smile. "But this is about you and Seokjung, not me and Seokjin. What happened to you is different than whats happening to me. Seokjin isn't like that."

Jungkook frowns. "Are you serious right now? You really think things will turn out differently for you?" He looks away, ruffling his hair out of frustration. "I've been in your position, Jimin. I know what it's like to feel completely and utterly swept away by one of the Kim brothers. But you need to understand that this won't end up the way you want it to."

"That's up to me to decide, not you," Jimin responds, causing a groan from Jungkook. "I'm not going to let this go just because of your past experiences. I want to see this out til the end."

"I don't know why I bothered," Jungkook muttered loudly. "If that's what you want, then fine. You can experience it for yourself." He sits back down, grabbing the TV remote. "Then you can tell Kim Seokjung that if I ever see him again, I'll fucking kill him."

He doesn't know about Seokjung, Jimin realises. He doesn't know that Seokjung is dead. Jimin bites the words into his lip; he's still got his speech, he just needs to say it. Jungkook deserves to know. Jimin breathes in, but holds his breath. Swallowing harshly, he forces the words out of his mouth.

"Seokjung is dead."

The words coated the room in a dark, musty aura. The second the syllables left his lips, his body clenched up in apprehension, waiting for the moment for Jungkook to read, to turn around and let their eyes meet. His hands are shaking, and he shoves them into his pockets to try and stop it. 

Jungkook dropped the remote onto his lap, eyes darting towards Jimin. His face was filled with shock, body frozen in place just like Jimin's.

"Dead?"

Jimin gulps, nodding his head.

"Yes. Seokjung is dead."

~

Seokjin tapped his legs on the ground rapidly. He would always get scolded by his mother whenever he got super fidgety as a child, forcing him to sit up straight, shoulders not hunched over, and feet placed gracefully on the ground. Those teachings were drilled into his muscle memory, however his nerves sometimes got the better of him.

Old habits die hard.

"It's delightful to see you again, Seokjin."

He looked up to see Dr. Lee in the doorway, a look of shock on his features. He couldn't help but scowl a little as he entered, feet tapping away at the floor beneath him.

"I must say I'm a little surprised to see you today. I was expecting to spend another half hour playing candy crush on my phone, but I'm glad you're here today." Dr. Lee sit's himself down at his desk comfortably, leaning back on his armchair. he looks towards Seokjin's tapping legs. "Nervous?"

Seokjin immediately stops his tapping. "No."

Dr. Lee raises an eyebrow. "I see."

He quickly goes into the routine of asking Seokjin the standard questions about his week so far, how he has been feeling, if anything stood out to him this week, if he has made any good memories etc. The typical questions Seokjin was able to breeze through without battling an eyelash. These were questions he was prepared for.

"You seem different today," He says, pulling Seokjin out of his chill state. "You look brighter and perkier. Has anything else happened this week you want to talk about? Anything, or, anyone in particular?"

Seokjin scoffed. This damn therapist just wanted a juicy story. Seokjin wasn't going to let anything slip. This week had been for him and Jimin only. The places they went together, the things that they talked about, he wouldn't let anyone else share that memory.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said as calmly as possible, but he couldn't help a small smile grow in the corner of his mouth. If he was being honest, he did feel better than before. In fact, he felt great. He didn't realise how much Jimin had an impact on his mood.

"I think you're lying, young man." Dr. Lee smirked, pushing his shirt sleeves up his arms. "You've had a good week, it's written all over your face."

Dammit. Seokjin scrunched up his nose, turning away. He wouldn't mess up again. 

"Okay, okay, I get it," Dr. Lee laughs. He seemed much chipper this session as well. "Not willing to share, but I presume someone special is involved?"

"What makes you think that?" Seokjin asks, curiously.

"I know that look anywhere. I've seen it plenty of times." His eyes glimmered, making Seokjin feel even more nervous. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what he meant, or if he even felt ready to hear it. 

He had intended to ended whatever the hell his thing with Jimin was that night at the bar. That week waiting for a text, a call, a sign of Jimin anywhere had been torture, so he had built up the courage to break it off. He was planning on telling him that he was no longer needed at the choreographer, since he was showing no signs of commitment anyway, and send him off bittersweetly. But the moment he stepped foot inside there, reminding him of the last time he had seen Jimin there and invited him to that party, his intentions changed almost instantly. 

He kept telling himself to go talk to him, to find him and talk about everything. 'Find him, idiot. Drink first… no, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to him. Talk to Jimin. You're ruining him. You know that right?"

The voice in his head sounded like Jungkook's, just as angry and scarily calm as when Jungkook had confronted him before.

At first, I thought you might just have your fun then move on, but you keep dragging Jimin with you. You're dragging him into the deep end and I know for a fact that if you hold on any longer, he'll drown. And what pisses me off the most is that you don't give a damn about the consequences.

The both of them were drowning in the deep end, unable to stop the inevitable, and neither of them knew how to save each other, but Seokjin had realised that despite that, despite Jungkook's words that haunted him, there was an understanding that they were drowning together.

Things were messy when they were together. It was confusing, frustrating, and made no sense. But Seokjin had accepted that, and he didn't want to throw it away just yet.

When he saw Jimin approach him cautiously, unsure of what to done or say, it knocked all of the confidence Seokjin had managed to muster up that evening. He let himself say everything his mind was begging him to, thoughts he had held hostage for so long. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol in his system that lowered his impulse control, or if it was something looming underneath his skin for so long and had been waiting for someones permission to be set free.

And then Jimin kissed him. He kissed Seokjin and it felt magical.

That kiss was pure raw passion, Seokjin and Jimin both facing each other as themselves. No fake personas, no pretend personalities, just them. Both of their dreamland fantasies about each other hadn't been as great as they thought they would be. There was a reality behind both of those fantasies of who they were, who they wanted to be, and who they had become. 

When Jimin's lips collided with Seokjin's, he felt like he would stumble back from the sheer force, but Jimin had kept him in place, holding tightly, acting like a pillar. If Seokjin had been standing in the moment, he knew that his knees would've turned to jelly.

He could've hesitated, he could've pushed Jimin away and went through with his plan, but he didn't want to.

Seokjin let himself burn.

And that wasn't even the best part of that night. Out in the pouring rain, his sight was met with that of another stunning view. It was Jimin illuminated by the soft moon glow. His entire body was outlined by silver moonlight, skin appearing to shine and hair radiating with white light. He can remember the way his eyes widened, breath snatched up by Jimin's beauty. If he tries hard enough, he swears he can remember seeing fragile, translucent wings sprouting from his back. Jimin was like a fairy.

Out of all the people he had ever met in his crazy life, Jimin was the magical one.

"It's good to see you opening up, breaking down that surface made of stone," Dr. Lee interrupts Seokjin's reminiscing. "I just hope you are staying true to yourself, and true to this special person."

Seokjin frowns in confusion. "I swear everything you say makes no sense at all."

"Honestly, I thought you were a smart kid," Dr. Lee tuts, shaking his head. "I mean that most people only look at you and see the surface that you want them to see, remember our discussion at our last session?"

Right. What Seokjin presented to the world was different to what he buried deep down. He still doesn't like how scarily personal Dr. Lee's point's had felt to Seokjin, far too close to the nail for comfort.

"But you are more than that, aren't you?" He smiled at Seokjin warmly. "You're more than your surface."

Seokjin blinks. "I am?"

Dr. Lee nods. "You have a great heart, with much love and no room for fear. I can see it right now, right in front of me."

Seokjin wanted to laugh. Was that really how he saw him? It was bizarre, nothing like anything any of his past therapists had described him as. "That's where you're wrong, you crazy old man. I have too much room for fear, it's almost frightening."

"I think you're being too harsh," He says, watching Seokjin run a hand through his hair. "But it's good to see you being honest with yourself."

Seokjin was the most cowardly person he'd ever met. All he ever did was run to save himself. It was easier than facing the truth. He hid behind lies and personas and pretending, all because he was scared. And worst of all, he wasn't even sure what he was scared of anymore.

It was as if all his fears had merged into one giant fear, chasing him down everyday until it finally caught up. But Seokjin wouldn't let it catch up, always one step faster. 

He looked down at his feet which had stopped tapping a long time ago. The nerves were still there, pumping through his legs, but he had control of them now. He looks up at Dr. Lee. "If you really want me to be honest, then I'll let you know…. I can't remember the last time I was truly honest with myself."

That was a lie. It pumped through his veins, straight to his heart.

He knew how much Jimin had changed him in the last two days, the way it made him feel, the hands held in each other, the soft but also passionate kisses, the sunlight pouring down on them as they shared earbuds, their endless bickering and chatting about the most pointless things. 

It was still so confusing in Seokjin's mind, he wasn't sure if he understood anything or if anything had truly changed at all, but it was still the only thing that made sense to him in his crazy life. And that was when he was being honest with himself. He couldn't keep lying to himself about it anymore, even if he tried.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to confront everything else yet.

Chapter Text

Jimin felt like his lungs were about to fall out of his ass.

He squinted through the crack in the door at the large auditorium, filled with the entire cast and crew of the play. The large group of people made him physically shiver, despite the intense heat flushing through his body.

There was no sign of Seokjin anywhere, even after Jimin had searched the entire room with his eyes. He had texted Jimin so abruptly that morning, letting him know that he had scheduled Jimin's very first full cast rehearsal to showcase his choreography for the first time, and Jimin nearly fell out of his bed in shock when he had read the unexpected message. 

"You look like you're going to barf all over the floor any second now."

Jimin glanced behind him to see Taehyung stood behind him, looking rather amused at the man crouching down on the floor in front of him. Jackass, Jimin thought. Next time he has trouble with Hoseok, Jimin tells himself to not offer any help whatsoever. That'll teach Taehyung to not make fun of him when he's in a crisis.

He grunts, turning his head back to the door. His line of sight falls upon every dark haired male in the room, but unfortunately none of them were Seokjin. He checks again, then a third time to make sure. Still no sign of him.

"Hyung… where the hell are you?" Jimin mutters to himself. He needed to speak to Seokjin. About the sudden rehearsal which Jimin had never agreed to, about Jungkook's confession, about Seokjung and everything he knew. It was eating away at him, and the longer he waited, the worse it would be when he finally told him.

"You looking for Jin hyung?" Taehyung asks, squatting down next to Jimin. "There's a pretty good chance he'll show up late. It usually takes a while for the whole cast to settle down and get to work, and hyung hates that, so he shows up late to avoid all the drama and nonsense."

"So he isn't here?" Jimin whips his head back to Taehyung, earning a nod from him. "Figures… I should've known he wouldn't show up… that's so typical of him." A bitter feeling washes over Jimin without his consent, making him frown.

Taehyung tilts his head. "What's wrong?"

"Seokjin texted me this morning out of the blue, telling me I had my first rehearsal today, and I'm not even the slightest bit prepared! I am no where near finished with my piece, and what I have worked on still looks messy and needs a lot of work. I'm going to embarrass myself in front of twenty-something people in only a matter of minutes." Jimin spoke quickly, the words almost mashing together and getting stuck in his throat. He couldn't do this. He wasn't ready. 

"Couldn't you have just told him that? To reschedule?" Taehyung asks.

Jimin knew that Taehyung wouldn't understand. It was too complicated to explain to someone who didn't quite grasp the concept of Seokjin's chaotic nature. 

If Seokjin says something was going to happen, then it was going to happen. End of discussion.

"That's what I'm trying to do, but how am I supposed to tell him if he isn't even here?" Jimin almost barks at Taehyung, but holds himself back when he remembers that his friend was only trying to help, judging from the innocent look on his face. "He knows how much I struggle with shit like this. I've told him so many times, yet he still tries to force my out of my comfort zone. And on top of that, he couldn't even be bothered to show up to try and ease my mind just a little. It's like he doesn't care about my anxiety and nerves."

"Hey, you know that's complete bullshit-"

"Is it?" Jimin retorts. "Then where the hell is he?"

Taehyung opens his mouth to answer, then closes it again.

"See? That's what I thought." Jimin sighs, letting out the pent up frustration that had been growing in his belly ever since he read that text. "I just feel like I never have any control over anything when it comes to Seokjin. Like, he makes all the rules and all the decisions fall down to him. He always gets the final word. Shouldn't I get a say in this?"

"Then go home if you're really that scared."

Both Jimin and Taehyung's heads turned to the voice from the other side of the room. He hadn't even noticed another person enter the room until brought the attention onto himself, nearly making Jimin piss himself with fear. Yoongi stood on the other side, an unamused expression plastering his face. 

"No one is forcing you here. Seokjin may have sprung this onto you, but you have every capability to say no." He walks towards them, glaring down at Jimin.

Jimin gulped, shuddering at the intense gaze in Yoongi's eyes. He hadn't spoken to him since that awful day, where Jimin confessed to sneaking around the internet for answers. He's be lying if he said he hadn't been avoiding Yoongi ever since, praying he wouldn't bump into him, too scared to see that same look on his face like he did on that day; a look of hatred and pure disgust.

"Woah, how did you get in here, hyung?" Taehyung sounded shocked, leaping onto his feet.

"There's two doors into this dressing room, dumbass." Yoongi nods his head towards the door behind him, making Taehyung gasp.

"That was there the whole time?!" He rushes towards the door, opening and closing it like a little kid.

Yoongi looks back to Jimin, who is still sat on the floor. Jimin feels his face grow hot with embarrassment as he quickly stumbled up onto his feet. His expression was unreadable, but it still managed to make the insides of his stomach churn.

"If you want to leave, then leave," Yoongi says in a monotone voice, placing both his hands into his jean pockets.

Jimin swallows, already regretting what he was about to say. "You know it isn't like that when it comes to Seokjin hyung. It's never that easy."

"That's only because you've convinced yourself that everything has to be complicated around him," Yoongi replies, his voice sounding a little more threatening. "Seokjin may be demanding and stubborn, but he wouldn't force you to do anything you wouldn't want to do. All he does is give people a push in the right direction, but he would never go too far. He knows all the boundaries, and I've never seen him step beyond them. He's only doing this because he thinks it's the right thing for you, don't you get that?"

Jimin's throat feels dry. He doesn't know how to respond to Yoongi, or if he is even capable of doing so without his voice wobbling or bursting out into sobs of tears. 

"Don't you trust him? Because I know that he trusts you," Yoongi continues, stepping closer to Jimin, getting into his personal space. "From my point of view, Seokjin is the one who should be wary of you. Not the other way around." He pokes Jimin's chest. "It's time you figured out what exactly it is you're mad about. Is it Seokjin? Or is it the fact that you aren't prepared for this, and you're scared that you'll mess up in front of everyone? Stop blaming Seokjin for your problems, especially since he's the one trying to help you."

It felt as if Yoongi was turning his nose up at Jimin, looking down at him as if he were a small piece of dirt on the floor. Considering the way Yoongi was looking at him, Jimin knew he'd hit the nail on the spot.

It wasn't fair how Yoongi always sounded right about everything, and how he always managed to make Jimin seem like the bad guy. Wasn't he allowed to be pissed off or scared?

"Okay everyone! Enough chat, let's get this rehearsal started! We're already three minutes behind!" Namjoon's voice echoed through the auditorium and through the crack in the door, loud and clear for everyone present in the building to hear.

Yoongi gave one last look at Jimin, before leaving the room to return to the crowd.

"Aw shit, it's starting," Taehyung groaned, walking back towards Jimin. "I need to go, or else Namjoon will give me hell. Are you gonna be okay?" He paused. "Want me to call Hoseokie hyung?"

Jimin almost scoffed. "Do you ever stop talking about Hoseok?"

"Shut up. I'm only trying to help!"

Jimin shakes his head. "Go on. Just…tell Namjoon I'll be out in a sec."

Taehyung looked like he wanted to say more, to maybe stay and comfort Jimin for a little longer, but instead he nodded his head, gently patting Jimin on the shoulder before leaving the room to join the cast.

The murmur of voices muted as Namjoon began discussing their plans for the full day rehearsal, but Jimin was too busy whipping out his phone from his pocket to pay any attention. He opened up his messages to Seokjin, reading over the text one last time.

Rise and shine Jiminine! Today's a big day for you. I hope you've got your best dancing shoes polished and ready to go, because you've got your first full cast rehearsal today! Aaaaah I'm so excited, I'm trying so hard not to spam you with cute emojis. You're gonna do great, I can feel it in my bones!!!!!!! ＼(◎o◎)／！ Go get em kiddo.

His thumb hovered over the keyboard, searching for anything to say right now. He wanted to tell Seokjin he couldn't do it, that they would have to reschedule, that he was angry Seokjin went ahead and arranged this without telling Jimin, that he was underprepared and too scared to go through with it. 

He wanted Seokjin here with him right now.

'It's your dream, isn't it? It's right in front of you and you're wavering? You gotta be reckless and just go for it! I know you have got it in you to be great.'

Perhaps that was what he was really angry at all along. It wasn't the fact that Seokjin had arranged all this for him without letting him know, or that Jimin wasn't ready. It was because Seokjin wasn't here with him right now to tell him that it was all going to work out in the end.

When Seokjin was with Jimin, he felt like anything was possible. It was as if the Jimin that existed around Seokjin was a whole different person. He was this brave, lively soul who did whatever he wanted because he had his greatest companion by his side, and when Seokjin wasn't there, that version of Jimin vanished.

Seokjin saw greatness in Jimin, more than anyone else ever had, and that was what Jimin needed the most right now.

Someone who believed in him.

Jimin quickly typed out a message before letting himself overthink things and chicken out altogether. Five small words.

i need you right now.

"And today is also the day we start learning some of the choreography for our opening scene. As I'm sure you've all heard, Seokjin hyung picked out one of the finest dancers on campus, and I want you all to welcome him to the team, like a part of the family," Namjoon's voice enters Jimin's thoughts, interrupting and bringing him back down to reality. "Is Jimin here? Would you come up to the front?"

Jimin's heart starts beating louder than Namjoon's booming voice, loud enough for the whole world to hear. His ears were ringing, only the painfully fast thumping in his chest keeping him from blocking the world out.

The feeling of being a hopeless child in front of a large crowd renters his mind and memory, hundreds laughing and pointing, whispering vicious words that plunged into Jimin's heart and never left since the day he first heard them. It was always going to be the same. No matter where he was, how much older he grew, people were so cruel.

Their words echoed in his memory, still so fresh and vibrant. they chanted in his ears, louder and louder until he couldn't hear anything else, couldn't see anything else, except that dark stage, with the large crowd, and their laughing faces, fingers pointed directly at him.

"Jimin? Are you here?"

He doesn't even realise that his feet started moving forward against his will, both legs feeling more and more numb with every step he took. Eventually all eyes turned on him as Namjoon pointed out from the back of the crowd, and it felt like a thousand lasers were burning his skin as one by one, the heads turned to finally see who it was that would be teaching them his choreography.

"What are you doing back there? Come to the front and introduce yourself."

He didn't belong there. The front was a place reserved for people like Seokjin and Taehyung, people who had rightfully earned their place in the spotlight. Jimin threw away his passion for performing a long time ago. He didn't deserve to be there, or even anyway near it. He wasn't sure if he even wanted that attention anyway.

He slowly made his way through the crowd. A few people started silently talking, making Jimin consider running straight back into the dressing room and locking the door behind him. In the crowd, he made eye contact with Yoongi, who was leaning against one of the pillars. He looked less disgusted than before, and more curious than Jimin had ever seen him. When he finally reached the front, he turned his head to Namjoon, who nodded at him expectantly, gesturing him to say something to everyone. 

He breathed heavily. "I-I….um…." Jimin stuttered, instantly hating how his voice sounded, all puny and high pitched from the nerves. His eyes were glued onto his shoes, refusing to look up at all the judging eyes in the room, scared of making eye contact with any of them and seeing the laughter in their expression. "Um…. w-well-"

"You guys started without me?"

A loud voice overtook Jimin's small pathetic whimpers, making every pair of eyes divert their attention from him, towards the back of the huge room.

There stood Seokjin, wearing blue silk pyjamas, rubbing his eyes cutely and yawning. His hair was sticking out in different directions as if he'd just woken up.

"That's what happens when you turn up late, hyung," Yoongi calls over to him, tutting. "Next time, set your alarm earlier."

"It should be illegal for rehearsals to start this early. Some of us need their beauty sleep," Seokjin huffs, not caring about the fact that the whole room was watching him right now, or that he had shown up in his pyjamas to a rehearsal.

A few people started chuckling, then a few more, until the whole room was filled to the brim with chatter and laughter at the sudden and unexpected arrival of the grumpy star of the show, who was currently ranting about the importance of sleep for an aspiring actor to be, like himself. Jimin had heard this laughter before, the loud shrieks of glee a painful memory ingrained in the back of his mind, but it somehow sounded different. These weren't laughter directed at Seokjin, it sounded more like they were laughing with him instead.

"Your pyjamas are so cute, Seokjinnie."

"You need to start arriving on time, you fool!"

"Lord, what are we gonna do with this guy?"

"As expected of our Seokjin!" 

Everyone was truly enchanted by Seokjin's presence, it was like they had completely forgotten Jimin was in the room. Seokjin had this demanding aura to him, no matter where he went. He was always going to be the centre of attention, the star of the show. Jimin wondered how he managed to make everyone so endeared, how he could just do something as outrageous as show up in his sleep-wear in front of so many people, and not feel embarrassed at all. If Jimin had done the same thing, everyone would be mocking and teasing him until his last dying breath, but with Seokjin, it was a completely different story. He had to admit, that even though Seokjin frustrated him to hell and beyond, he had to admire his lack of inhibitions. He know's Seokjin's reckless and he knows that this is just him living his life the way he wants to, without worry or fear like the way Jimin had engrained into his soul, and that's something to aspire to.

"Alright, enough chatting. This is exactly why I always show up late," Seokjin spoke, making everyone immediately settle down. He shakes his head at the group of girls giggling next to him. He truly was a crowd pleaser. "We have work to do!" His eyes land upon Jimin's making him freeze in his spot. And then all of a sudden, he sends him a small smile, and winks at him daringly. 

Jimin's worries were still in the back of his mind, ready to rise back onto the surface at any moment, but Seokjin was here! He was here and everything was going to be okay now. It felt less tense in the room now that Seokjin had broken the ice for him, the group of people no longer looking at him with their observant eyes.

"Ah, Jimin! Did I interrupt you?" He says cheerfully, pushing himself through the crowd unapologetically. "Sorry, I have a habit of making a grand entrance." He places his arm around Jimin's shoulder as soon as he reaches him, and looks back to the crowd. "This is the choreographer I've told you about, remember? The one I found by accident?"

Jimin felt his knees go weak. Seokjin had been talking about Jimin to his friends? His fellow actors and actresses? The crowd nodded eagerly, looking back at Jimin with their beady eyes, but this time it felt different.

"So this is the guy Seokjin is always talking about?"

"Wow, he look's like a properly trained dancer, just look at the way he's standing! so poised and graceful."

"He must be really talented if Seokjin asked him to join the cast personally."

"I can't believe I've never heard of him before. He must be one of those really dedicated dancers who only perform in the most well respected productions. I can't wait to see what he's prepared."

They quickly started chatting again, ignoring Seokjin's blunt requests. Jimin felt that he would collapse at any given moment. It all felt like it would change in a matter of seconds, that they would all go back to their judgmental ways as soon as Jimin started speaking again, that this momentary feeling of relief in Jimin's bloodstream was soon to be disrupted. It was only a matter of time.

Whilst the crowd was distracted, Seokjin leaned his head down to Jimin's. "Do you feel any less scared now?"

Jimin whipped his head over to look at Seokjin, who was a little too close. In the corner of his eye, he saw Jungkook in the crowd, staring directly at him. He wasn't laughing and joking around like all the others. Instead, his face was hard as stone as he glared at Jimin and Seokjin.

Jimin felt his shoulders hunch up with anxiety again, his fears flooding into his existence as he stood there. Seokjin quickly noticed the visible change in Jimin, and turned his gaze over to where he was looking, spotting Jungkook in the middle of the group.

"Hey, look at me."

Jimin turned his head back, seeing Seokjin's face filled with sincerity. It made him feel freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time.

"Don't look at him, don't look at anyone else. Just look at me." He stared straight into Jimin's eyes, not caring if anyone was watching them. "We're all afraid, you know… to get up on stage. Every person in this room feels it too." He retracts his arm from around Jimin. "Maybe you'll mess up. Maybe they'll all laugh at you. But, even so… you grit your teeth and get up on stage anyway, because as a performer, if you make a mistake, there's no other direction to go but forward."

Jimin's eyes fall onto Seokjin's ears, which were bright red. Was he… embarrassed right now? he had made such a scene, and acted so nonchalant about it, but was he secretly embarrassed by it? The small, selfish part of Jimin whispered little thoughts into his ears. That Seokjin had purposely gone to such great lengths just to make Jimin feel more comfortable and less afraid. 

Seokjin reaches his hand down and intertwines his fingers with Jimin's, squeezing his hand ever so gently. That small act of affection felt like a bomb exploding Jimin's dam of emotions. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry. He was so moved by Seokjin's words, he was so frightened of having so many eyes on him all at once. It was too much for one person to handle.

Everything Seokjin says and does sparkles so brightly. It was too blinding for Jimin, and he felt like closing his eyes due to its intensity. But he couldn't help but aspire to be like him someday.

Seokjin gives him one last squeeze of encouragement, before nudging him towards the crowd. Jimin looked back at him, still afraid, still unsure of what to do or say, but this time he had Seokjin with him.

"Um….excuse me!" He spoke as loudly as he could, gaining the casts full attention again. "H-Hello everyone…. my name is Park Jimin, um…" He quickly looks at Jungkook, who's eyes were wide and hopeful, but then looks away. "I haven't quite finished the choreography, a-and there's still a lot of improvement to be done, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here. I hope we all get along well!" He bows his head, closing his eyes shut tight.

He wanted to much himself at how small and weedy he sounded just then. No matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be a good public speaker. A loud cheer emerges from the crowd, and Jimin lifts his head up to see Taehyung near the back, wooping and cheering him on. It was impossible to miss him, his smile gleaming straight at him, shouting his name repeatedly with praise.

The small act of encouragement did wonders to Jimin's heart. He wasn't sure why he hadn't ever became friends with Taehyung sooner. He seemed like the type of friend you would want to hold onto for a long time, maybe even for life. He wished he could've known him earlier on, how maybe if they had been friends when they were younger, things would've been different for Jimin.

He heard another cheer from behind him, this time coming from Seokjin. Jimin didn't need to look behind him to know who it was that was clapping and cheering loudly. It couldn't have been anyone else.

~

"You just need to put your foot back here and bend your legs a little bit more."

"That's what I'm doing already."

"No, it needs to be further. Your weight needs to be distributed evenly or else the twirl could make you lose your balance and you could slip. Do it again."

Seokjin groaned loudly, positioning his feet where Jimin had instructed. He never realised how bossy Jimin could be when he was the one in charge, ordering Seokjin around like an idiot with two left feet.

But he couldn't help but find it quite hot, seeing Jimin take the reigns for once.

Seokjin mentally slapped himself. Now was not the time to feel horny. He had to focus on perfecting this routine.

"I suck at this. I'd much rather just tell the story with words, not swaying my arms around like a wild goose."

Jimin rolled his eyes for the tenth time that day. "You don't need words to tell this part of the story, let the music and the dance do the talking. Words just ruin the mood."

It didn't take long for the class to learn Jimin's choreography, as most of them were already trained dancers and incredibly talented for that matter. They all listened closely as Jimin went through the steps and demonstrated exactly how he wanted it to look, pointing out where he wanted each individual to go.

The person Seokjin was most impressed with, besides Jimin of course, was Taehyung. As far as Seokjin knew, Taehyung had no dance background, yet somehow managed to keep up with the rest of the class like it was no big deal. He had scowled at the talented kid throughout the whole day, watching him prance around in time to the music, while Seokjin was struggling to figure out where his hands and feet go at every point. He had to remind himself constantly why he had ever thought of including dance into the show in the first place.

At this point, everyone had left, and it was just Jimin and Seokjin left in the large auditorium. They had learned everything Jimin had taught them so quickly, there was little left to learn. Since Jimin had yet to actually finish putting the routine together, the rehearsal ended early for the day.

Well, for everyone except Seokjin.

"Wrong. Your hands and arms need to be soft and resemble a feather, not stiff and lifeless," Jimin pointed out, poking Seokjin's tensed arms. He dispelled his own arms how he wanted, looking just as light and feathery as he had described. Talented bossy and sexy jackass.

Seokjin muttered curse words under his breath, feeling like a right fool in front of Jimin. He would teach this brat a lesson one day. Breathing deeply, he attempted the twirl that Jimin was desperately trying to teach him. His feet slip under his weight and he fell flat onto his butt.

"Hyung!" Jimin quickly rushes to his side, leaning down with a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

Seokjin winches at the throbbing pain on his backside, stroking it vigourously. "I've certainly felt better."

Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes. "This is why you need to position your legs further apart. So this doesn't happen."

"It's the jeans' fault, not mine," Seokjin excuses, looking down at his cursed jeans. If Namjoon hadn't forced him to go all the way back to his apartment and change out of his light, unrestricted pyjamas and into these tight, uncomfortable jeans, maybe he wouldn't have fell.

Jimin shakes his head again, but this time a small smile began peaking at the corners of his mouth, like he was suppressing it. "Let's just try it again."

So they continued practicing. Seokjin found this far less enjoyable than if he were practicing his lines, but it was slightly more bearable with Jimin to keep him company, even if they guy was being all high and mighty for once.

Maybe Seokjin almost enjoyed seeing this side of Jimin. He always looked down on his own skills and talents and talked so little of them, so to see him in his element was like a gasp of fresh air after being cooped up in a stuffy room for hours. Seokjin could see the way everyone in the cast had noticed it as well, the pure raw talent that oozed from Jimin. You couldn't deny how brilliant he was. Even with his total lack of confidence in himself, he managed to display such a beautiful yet simple piece to everyone in the room perfectly, impressing every pair of eyes that were set on him.

It wasn't anything too complex, it was light and sweet, just like the music Namjoon had composed for the opening, but it was the small attentions to detail that really made it stand out. At first glance, you could say this wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but gradually, as Jimin showed each person whee he wanted them to go, what he wanted them to do, everyone having their on part to play, place to stand, area to reach, it all started to come together right before Seokjin's eyes.

"I can't do it," He whined, stomping his foot. "It's too hard. I'm not cut out for dancing."

"Yes you are," Jimin said. "Not everyone can pick it up so easily. And besides, where you lack in direction and positioning, you make up in rhythm and expression."

Seokjin inspected Jimin's face for any signs of lying. "Really?"

He smiled back at Seokjin, holding out hid hand to help pull him up. "Of course. You're a good dancer, hyung. I mean it."

That was the first time anyone had ever said he was a good dancer. He never had the confidence to attempt dancing in front of anyone, so no one really knew of his abilities. He'd always praised for his acting, his looks, his intelligence, his charms, his fantastic use of words and vocabulary, his family name, his grand upbringing, but this was a completely foreign feeling to Seokjin. He wasn't sure how to react or respond, or how it made him feel.

"But that still doesn't change the fact that I can't get this part right," He says, grabbing Jimin's hand, letting him pull the older man up. "I need that stupid kid Taehyung here, he's supposed to be my partner for this! How am I supposed to do this without my partner!"

Jimin giggled at Seokjin's outburst. "I'll step in for Taehyung if that'll calm you down."

"I guess." Seokjin pauses. "Everyone needs an understudy, after all."

Jimin slaps his arm lightly, making Seokjin gasp. "What was that for?"

"For being annoying. Now back to work." Jimin steps in front of Seokjin, mirroring his stance. His hand rests on Seokjin's waist firmly. It reminded him of how Jimin held him in the rain that night, firm and demanding, yet still gentle. "Did you see me teach this to Taehyung earlier? Well in this part we are going to mirror each others steps, then go into a slight waltz for several seconds as the rest of the cast freezes, then they'll unfreeze and return to their dancing as the music picks back up, remember?"

Seokjin nods, picturing how Jimin and Taehyung danced together. It took them a while to get it right, since they couldn't stop laughing at each other like school kids, but eventually, after Seokjin and Namjoon scolded them, they started acting professionally. It warmed Seokjin's heart seeing him like that with Taehyung. He was glad there were other people who could help him relax and feel less on edge all the time. The kid was good for Jimin.

"So this should be fairly simple, just follow my lead." Jimin started moving backwards and Seokjin has no choice but to follow, stepping forward. Jimin takes a step to the side and Seokjin clumsily follows. "Good, good. Do you see the pattern?"

Seokjin looks down at their feet intensely. "I think so."

"Look up at me."

Seokjin's eyes slowly trail upwards, landing on Jimin. 

"You can't be looking down at your feet whilst dancing. You need to be looking at your partner."

Seokjin felt skeptic. "But I'll trip over my feet if I don't look."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "You won't trip, I'm here to guide you. You just need to trust me."

Seokjin gulped, nodding his head. Jimin slowly started moving again, and Seokjin hesitantly followed, his arms gripping tight onto Jimin's shoulders. Every time his eyes wondered back down to his feet, Jimin would pinch his hip harshly. "I told you, stop looking down."

"I can't help it!" Seokjin exclaimed, pouting like a child.

Jimin raised an eyebrow then sighed. "Don't you understand why it's so important? The audience needs to be entranced by this dance, by the relationship between the sorcerer and the artist," he motions between them both. "We are supposed to sell them this story. How they hell can we expect them to believe anything if you don't play the part? So I need you to look me in the eyes and trust that I won't let you fall."

Seokjin hates when Jimin's right. It's started happening more and more often and it's really beginning to annoy him. 

But what annoys him the most isn't the steps or any of the choreography for that matter; its how difficult he is finding it to stay focused when he's looking straight into Jimin's eyes. It's like Jimin is searching every corner of him when he looks at Seokjin, and it's too intense, too heavy.

He want's to fall into Jimin's pretty eyes, deep like an ocean, never-ending and mysterious. They were addicting, and Seokjin was scared that once he started staring, he'd never be able to stop. 

He raised an eyebrow at Jimin. "Are you really giving me acting advice?"

Jimin scoffs, removing his hand from Seokjin's waist. They had stopped their slow motions back and forth, and Seokjin was silently grateful, as he was starting to feel a little hot. Jimin looked as if he was suppressing another smile. "Maybe you could learn a thing or two from me." He head towards his bag, pulling out a water bottle and quickly gulping the liquid down. Seokjin had to divert his eyes to stop himself from gawking at Jimin's powerful throat muscles.

"Maybe you're right," Seokjin chuckled, picking up his own water bottle. "You did a really good job today, by the way. Everyone loves you, just as I knew they would."

Jimin wipes away the water around his mouth whilst looking at him. His expression is hopeful. "You really think so?"

Seokjin nods. "You're a natural."

Jimin practically beamed, placing his water bottle back into his bag and plonking himself down onto the ground to rest.

Seokjin joins him on the ground, placing himself opposite Jimin. He watches Jimin for a while, just playing around on his phone, so quiet and reserved inside his own little bubble. It was really cute how he could change so instantly, from powerful sexy dance teacher Jimin, to cute little shy boy Jimin.

"So…" Seokjin starts. "About the other day, with Asskook…. How were things after I left? Did he chew you up for hanging out with me?"

Jimin glances up from his phone. "Did you just call him Asskook?"

Seokjin smirks. "I think it suits him perfectly."

Jimin snickered silently. He places his phone down into his lap, the smile on his face quickly vanishing as he spoke. "It wasn't good. At all… It's, um… a long story."

The way he spoke irked Seokjin. It was obvious they had fought after his departure, he didn't need to ask to know the answer. Seokjin knew he could be a nosy bastard when he really wanted to, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to pester further, to find out what exactly had happened after he left. He wanted to know what Jungkook had to say about him, what Jimin would've said to defend him, how it all played out. He hated not knowing all the details, and how he had to reinvent his own story in his mind just to satisfy the nosy part of his brain that feeds off of him.

He leaned back onto his hands, trying to figure Jimin out. One moment he was giggling away at anything Seokjin was saying, and the moment his best friend was brought up, it was like someone had smacked him in the face. It didn't make sense. Wasn't Jungkook supposed to be his best friend? 

Whenever Yoongi was brought to his mind, the first thing he felt was relief… relief that he had someone like Yoongi in his life. The guy was a douche at the best of times, but he could always depend on him, no matter what. Yoongi would always be on his side, always stand by him in the darkest times, and look out for him like he was his own brother. That was what a best friend was supposed to be, what a best friend was supposed to feel like having.

"Can I ask you something?" Seokjin asks, almost biting his tongue.

Jimin nods weakly, like he knew what was coming.

"Why are you friends with Jungkook?" He says, deciding to not hold back or hesitate. "I haven't seem much of your relationship, but from what I've witnessed, it isn't pretty. All you do is fight and argue. That doesn't seem like something friends do." Seokjin leans forward. "The guy is a complete asshole to you. He's controlling as hell, way too rude and disrespectful for my own liking, and completely suffocating. Don't you think you deserve someone better than that in your life?"

His mind flashed to Taehyung, how warmly he treated Jimin, how despite barely knowing each other, he quickly understood Jimin and adapted to Jimin's personality. That's what a best friend should be.

Jimin clutches his hands together tightly, looking down at them. They sit in silence, waiting for Jimin to gather his thoughts. Seokjin didn't mind waiting. He wanted Jimin to answer him whenever he felt comfortable and had found the right words that would paint his story properly.

Jimin lets out a deep, shaky breath. "He wasn't always like that."

Seokjin frowns. "Wasn't?"

"Back in high school. He was never like that." Jimin plays with his hands. "If you'd known him back then, you would've thought he was a different person. He was so sweet, like a total angel. He was the shiest kid in school and you could barely ever get more than two words out of him, but he was always there for me. Always."

"What do you mean?" Seokjin questions. He found it hard to imagine Jungkook as anything but the vulture he was today. 

Jimin finally stops playing with his hands and looks up. He bits his lip harshly, nibbling like a little chipmunk. "I was thirteen when I met him. It had been a total accident, really." He laughed nervously, his voice cracking ever so slightly. "It was after I had performed in front of my whole school for the talent show. Teachers, parents, students, literally everyone was there. I was supposed to be the last one to perform that night. I was so nervous, I'd never danced in front of such a large crowd before." He paused, breathing slowly. "When I got up on that stage, in front of so many people, I froze. It was like everyone in the whole world was watching me right there. When the music started playing, I couldn't force myself to move." His voice cracked harder than before.

Seokjin wanted to reach out to Jimin, but he stayed put, letting Jimin tell him his story.

"Halfway through the song, people started whispering, saying things that I could hear loud and clearly. I wanted to run off stage and never look back again, but I couldn't move…" He continued, looking away again. "I ended up pissing myself on stage, and everyone started laughing at me. I'd never felt so humiliated in my life, I wanted to drop dead right there. Even the teachers and parents were laughing, and it was horrible." His voice sounded so hurt, dripping heavy with pain. "That was the worst experience of my life. You couldn't pay me a million won to go through that shit again." He sniffled. "After the show ended, I stayed locked in one of the classrooms for hours. No one could get me out, so eventually they stopped trying, leaving me all alone in there, with pissy underwear and my pride fully wounded. That's when I met Jungkook." Seokjin didn't miss the way Jimin's eyes ever so slightly lit up. "After hours alone, some dumb kid came into the class, wearing his dorky uneven glasses, large bunny teeth far too big for his own mouth, and holding a bouquet of flowers."

Seokjin couldn't picture such an innocent look on Jungkook, it didn't seem to match in any shape or form.

"He saw me crying in the corner all by myself, and asked me if I was the guy who pissed himself on stage. I would've ran away from that room the moment he mentioned what happened, if it weren't for the fact he handed me one of the tulips from his bouquet. He told me his cousin was in the show too, and that the flowers were meant to be for him, but he could spare just one flower for me, since I looked like I needed it more than him right now." The pain in Jimin's voice has slowly turned into something more reminiscent. He smiled slightly, tilting his head as he stared at the ground. "Stupid kid could barely speak to me, he was stuttering so much. I couldn't understand a word he said, and… oh god, you should've seen his face! He was as red as a tomato." He curls his arms around his legs. "I miss that little kid. Sometimes I wonder where he went."

Seokjin feels like he can see Jimin fully for the first time, and now all the things that confused him before, all the things that felt out of place, finally made sense. The reasoning behind Jimin's irrational anxiety and fear, his strong sense of loyalty to Jungkook, his lost love for performing and dance, all painted clearly so that Seokjin could understand.

Jimin always said he was bad with words, but Seokjin always felt that he never needed words to explain himself. Jimin could express himself through his raw emotion. It was one of the most admirable things about him. The way he could make you understand exactly what he wanted to say without having to actually say anything.

"You've come so far, Park Jimin."

The dancer looks up, confusion clear on his face.

"Look at where you started!" Seokjin says brightly, attempting to lighten up the mood. "You've gone from hating the very thing that made you happy, to embracing it and turning all that pain into a form of art. That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen, and I've seen some a lot of amazing things in my short life."

"It's not really that amazing…" Jimin whispers. "I've let such a small memory hold me back for years and fester in my mind. It's only because of you that I'm here now. I wouldn't have come this far on my own. My skills are rough and unperfected, they lack any sort of flow and musicality, and there are so many better dancers out there. Far better than me."

Seokjin shakes his head disapprovingly. "Perfection is overrated. So is power." He rests his hand on Jimin's knee. "You've got soul, and you're bursting with heart. That's something rare and special. Hold onto that for as long as you can." He slaps Jimin's knee softly. "You can accomplish anything you put your mind to. And let's be honest, if you've made it this far, there's nothing you can't overcome at this point."

He gets up onto his feet and holds out his hand, similar to how Jimin was earlier after he'd embarrassingly fallen onto his ass. "Let's go."

Jimin looks at Seokjin's hand, then back up to his face. "What do you mean?"

"let's not feel sad anymore, okay?" Seokjin smiles. "I'm doing what I do best; cover up my feelings with a smile."

"Even if it's fake?"

"Yeah, well, it still makes me feel better." He grabs Jimin's hand, pulling him up with ease. "Remember what I said to you before? Maybe the lies we tell ourselves are easier than the truths we keep hidden. So tell yourself that you're strong, that everything is fine, that it'll be okay." He strokes his thumb over Jimin's hand. "It'll be okay, Jimin."

Jimin bites his lip again, nodding weakly. He grips Seokjin's hand tightly, neither of them wanting to let go. Maybe for eternity, if they could.

~

He wasn't quite sure how things had escalated so quickly, but before long, Seokjin had Jimin pinned against the pillar, with his hand down Jimin's underwear.

They had gone back to practicing after Jimin complained about how they were wasting time sat around, retelling old sob stories when there were routines to be rehearsed. After a ton of huffs and groans from the actor, he reluctantly complied and went back to practicing.

Surprisingly, he was finding it much easier after their heart-to-heart, being able to stare Jimin straight in the eye the whole time without looking down, clutching onto his shoulder and letting Jimin lead the way. His feet followed Jimin roughly, occasionally losing his stepping, but never looking away.

He didn't fear those deep ocean eyes anymore, letting them stare straight through him, drowning on Jimin's gaze. 

Jimin had let Seokjin see through him. It made Seokjin consider opening up a portion of his own heart to Jimin in return.

He placed his foot in the complete wrong place, feeling himself start to fall back. Jimin's hand quickly wrapped around Seokjin's hip tightly, stopping him from falling any further. In this position, Jimin was towering over Seokjin, looking down at him. He looked so different to Seokjin from this angle, like a whole different person.

He wanted to kiss Jimin again. He wanted to feel those smooth lips on his own once more. He could remember the way Jimin tasted; sweet and salty, purely addicting, and Seokjin wanted more.

Their kisses were unspoken, taboo topics of conversation between each other, both too scared to bring it up, too scared of voicing their feelings, too scared of knowing what the other thought. It was still too new, too raw. They both weren't ready.

Despite that fear in Seokjin's veins, he still wanted to kiss Jimin again, and worry about the consequences another day. That wasn't asking too much, right? He was allowed to want this.

They stayed there in that position, holding each other closely, listening to each other breathing for minutes. Jimin slowly opened his mouth, letting his tongue dive out and coat his lips. His eyes dilated hungrily. Seokjin felt like the air had been utterly knocked out of his lungs, and they both stood there for several more seconds before Seokjin ultimately decided: fuck it. Today he could do what he wanted and not give a damn about the repercussions. So he threw his arms around the shorter mans neck, pulling him into a desperate kiss.

After the initial shock, Jimin quickly responded, leaning into the kiss and holding tightly onto Seokjin's waist, slipping out his tongue to taste the taller mans lips, the hunger evident in the way he was exploring Seokjin's mouth.

They stumbled into the nearest pillar, Jimin groaning as his head painfully hit the hard surface of the bricks. Seokjin snickered at the expression on Jimin's face before connecting their lips again. His lips were intoxicating to Seokjin, how much he had been craving feeling those smaller yet surprisingly strong hands over his body and daring mouth on his neck. It's rough enough to show he means business, but slow enough to show he's really focused on making it feel good.

It seemed Seokjin wasn't the only one feeling horny then.

Jimin's hands move from Seokjin's hips to the back of his head, softly tugging at his dark locks, fingers gripping onto the roots. Seokjin gasps loudly, giving Jimin even further access to his mouth.

He hears Jimin whine when Seokjin pulls back, kissing down his neck. "What are you fussing about?" He chuckles, biting Jimin's bottom lip. He returns the favour to Jimin, placing kisses down his jaw, moving down to his neck, sucking, licking, biting. His skilled tongue drops over his pulse, lapping and sucking at the sensitive smooth skin.

"Want your lips. On mine," He grabs Seokjin's cheeks, trying to kiss him again. "Want your hands. Everywhere." He pushes back against Seokjin, making both men groan at the sudden movement and pressure on their crotches. There was zero space between them. 

Thin, bony hands make their way down Jimin's sides, hovering over his crotch. Jimin is breathing heavily, using his own hands to pull Seokjin's hair.

"Fuck," Seokjin gasps, feeling a little dizzy when Jimin licks one long strip from his adam's apple to his earlobe, nibbling on the corner. His hand palmed Jimin's crotch, pleased when Jimin pushed back into his hand, grunting in approval. He wasted no time quickly unzipping his trousers and diving his hand in, stroking Jimin's length whilst his other hand gripped his side.

Jimin groans sounded more pitched as Seokjin's thumb flicked over the tip. He glared at the smug bastard, before pulling Seokjin into a bruising and sloppy kiss. Jimin bit Seokjin's bottom lip harshly, as payback. Moans escaped from his mouth, tugging on Jimin's length even harder. It felt like some twisted sexual game they were playing with each other, which only turned Seokjin on even more.

Jimin grinded against him whilst painting purple galaxies all over Seokjin's neck and jaw. It hurt, but it felt so good. It was painful and Seokjin never wanted this feeling to stop.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Both men stopped their brutal assault on each others necks, lips, jaws, basically anything they could get their hands on, to horridly look up at the voice from the other side of the auditorium.

"I…….I……" Taehyung stood wide eyed, clutching his bag to his chest tightly. 

Seokjin noticed that Taehyung was looking directly at his hand inside Jimin's underwear, and removed it as quickly as lightning. The guy looked like he was about to faint.

Slowing his heavy breathing down, he realised the situation he had put them in. They were so stupid. Stupid and horny. How could they really go at each other like wild lions in a public auditorium?

"I…. forgot my script……" Taehyung gasped out like it was his last breath. He stepped backwards. Then took another step. "….I'll just come back later…."

And then he bolted it out of the room, leaving both men stood there in silence, faces as red as beetroots.

~

"What the fuck is that purple disease growing on your neck, you mutant."

Jimin pulled his sweater high up his neck, trying to cover his neck from Hoseok's prying eyes. He felt red hot under his stare, and he didn't like it at all. "It's not a disease. And it isn't even that bad!"

Hoseok grabs Jimin's arm, yanking the piece of clothing back down to inspect it further. "It's covering half your neck! Is Kim Seokjin a fucking vacuum cleaner? Because he sure sucks like one."

Jimin covers his face with his hands, hiding away in his oversized hoodie. He felt so embarrassed in front of Hoseok, who was demanding explanations and long, detailed accounts of what had happened. The more he pestered, the more it made Jimin want to crawl into a hole and die.

"I still can't believe I had to hear about this from Taehyung, of all people. Not even my own best friend!" Hoseok angrily crunched on a packet of doritos. "You were too busy sucking dick to tell me."

"I wasn't sucking dick!" Jimin almost shouted, shoving Hoseok's arm off the kitchen counter. "What the hell did Taehyung even tell you?!"

"That it looked like something you'd find in the jungle," Hoseok sighed. "And that Seokjin had his hand down your pants, doing god knows what down there. I'm pretty sure it wasn't an accident either."

Jimin groaned, resting his head on the surface as Hoseok cackled. He was done for. There was no way he could ever face Taehyung again. The expression on his face when he walked in on both of them would haunt Jimin's memory forever.

"Couldn't you have gone somewhere less exposed? I thought you knew better than to get freaky in an auditorium." Hoseok shook his head in disapproval.

"Trust me, if I could go back and change the location, then I definitely would. But I was too caught up in the moment…" Jimin gulped. Maybe he was coming down with another fever, since his cheeks and neck felt hot from the memory of Seokjin's wondering hands, his daring touches, his rough kisses and eyes that looked like they could swallow Jimin whole. "I don't know what came over me. I'd never do anything so bold with just anyone, but Seokjin knew exactly what buttons to push-"

"Sorry to interrupt your porn script writing, but I'm in the room as well. Please spare me the details of your sex life with Kim Seokjin."

Jimin and Hoseok turned their heads to Jungkook, who was sat in front of the TV playing a video game with a look of disgust on his face.

"This doesn't involve you, weeb." Hoseok waved his arms in a shooing motion, making Jungkook scowl. Hoseok turned his attention back to Jimin. "We were just getting to the good bit, why did you have to go and interrupt?" Hoseok added, making Jimin consider poisoning his food. "Anyway, you have nothing to hide anymore. I want to know everything."

Jimin turned his head to Hoseok. "What do you mean everything?"

Hoseok rolled his eyes. "I mean how long this has been going on." He points at Jimin. "How long have you been dating Seokjin?"

It was like cold water had been poured over his head whilst simultaneously being punched in the gut by a well trained boxer. His blood boiled under his skin at all the memories he shared with Seokjin, the kisses, the touches, the small glances and sly winks, the hand holding, the trips out together that could be considered dates. All that in his mind, and he hadn't even begun to think about the possibility of dating Seokjin.

Park Jimin dating Kim Seokjin? It sounded hilarious out loud.

"Um, we aren't, you know… dating." Jimin mumbled, not looking Hoseok in the eye.

"What?!" Both Hoseok and Jungkook shrieked. Their landlord would kick them out at this point if they didn't settle down soon.

"How can you not be dating? You let him tickle your pickle!" Hoseok squawked.

"Oh my god, can you please shut up about that?" Jimin shoved Hoseok's arm violently.

"I'm serious! How haven't you two made it official yet? You guys are always together!" 

"No we aren't!" Jimin denied, shaking his head.

"Yes you are."

"No we aren't."

"Yes you are."

"No we aren't."

"Yes. You. Are."

Jimin wanted to scream at how frustrating Hoseok was being. It was times like these that he was glad he chose not to accept Hoseok's offer of being his roommate when he first moved to Seoul.

"Hyung isn't wrong," Jungkook says, eyes gleaming. "You guys always are together."

"No one asked for your opinion," Jimin glared. "Besides, I thought you hated Seokjin."

"I do hate him," He starts, looking back to his video game. "But… I'm still on your side first. Even if I hate him, I still want you to be happy." He started furiously smashing the buttons on his controller, nibbling on his bottom lip in a bunny-like way. "I still think you should stop seeing him. He isn't good enough for you, but there's no point in me trying to change anything. You're too stubborn to let that ever happen."

Jimin felt something tingle inside of him. He hadn't really spoken much to Jungkook after their discussion about Seokjin and Seokjung, both of them leaving it on an awkward ending, so Jimin presumed Jungkook's views hadn't changed at all, since he gave no indication of feeling any different. Jimin hadn't thought that the mention of Seokjung's death would've swayed his mind, but was it possible?

The feeling of relief washed over Jimin as Jungkook spoke his words of bare approval, and he smiled down at his best friend. Jungkook was really moving his pride out of the way, and finally listened to Jimin. It wasn't perfect, there was still a lot of work to do to convince Jungkook that Seokjin isn't a bad person, but it was baby steps in the right direction.

Jimin didn't have to lose his best friend, like he feared he would. That was all that mattered.

"Never mind all that," Hoseok interrupted. "Why haven't you started dating?"

"Because…" Jimin huffed. "Because neither of us has spoken about it yet."

"That's a lame excuse," Hoseok scowled.

"I really mean it!" Jimin wanted to scream. "We haven't really talked about… any of the things we've done together."

Fear crept into Jimin's heart as he spoke, fear of rejection that he knew all to well. Fear that Seokjin would realise he was better off without Jimin, that he was too good for the small dancer boy. 

"Jeez, you guys really love to make things complicated." Hoseok shook his head in disapproval. "I don't see what the problem is here. You like him, he clearly likes you back, so what are you waiting for?"

Hoseok just didn't understand. He was too simple minded, too straightforward and hadn't experienced the type of relationship that Jimin had with Seokjin. Nothing was ever easy or clear when it came to Seokjin. Jimin had learned that fairly quickly. There was no clear path, no right or wrong, and never a simple solution.

"I know that whatever I say isn't going to change much, but you really need to start listening to what your heart wants, and stop holding yourself back because you're too scared to see what the outcome could possibly be." Hoseok lifted himself up from his seat and picked up his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Jimin asked.

Hoseok put his arms through the jacket holes. "Taehyung wanted to hang out today, so I'm going to meet him at the movie theatre."

Jimin pouted. "But we're not done talking."

"I don't think I can handle any more of this. It's too infuriating." He pulled at a couple of hairs on his scalp. "You see this? I'm getting grey hair's because of you!"

"That's your own fault for caring too much about my life," Jimin muttered under his breath.

"Please, if it weren't for me, you never would've met Kim Seokjin in the first place. Don't I deserve a thank you?" 

Jimin flipped him off as Hoseok walked out the door, shouting his goodbyes to the two younger men in the room, slamming the door shut. The room always felt smaller whenever Hoseok was absent, and the silence make Jimin uncomfortable. Hoseok's loud voice could fill a stadium, and left any room more silent than before after he departed. The only sound was from the quiet television, and the tapping of the buttons from Jungkook's gaming console.

He didn't know what to do anymore.

~

The mumbled sound of Seokjin muttering down the phone to his parents filled the apartment. It wasn't quite loud enough to understand, but Yoongi was still able to catch a few odd words here and there.

He knew that tone. It was aggressive enough to mean business, but quiet enough to not sound threatening. 

It was the same tone he always used with his parents.

Yoongi didn't have to even ask who was calling. It was blatantly obvious from the switch in Seokjin's attitude when he saw the caller ID on his phone screen.

He found it strange that Seokjin's parents were calling at such a late hour, or that they were even calling him in the first place. They only ever called Seokjin when there was bad news. 

Yoongi adjusted himself in his position on the couch, faintly hearing his name fall from Seokjin's lips in the other room. He hummed to himself, the corners of his lips rising. They must've been asking about him to Seokjin. Or, more likely, asking if Seokjin had found a better friend than Yoongi yet.

Seokjin's parents weren't exactly Yoongi's biggest fans. He'd known it from the first time he ever met them, their stares burning into Yoongi's skin, his public school uniform, his shaggy hair that needed cutting, his second hand school bag and equipment that he got on sale. He wasn't the type of friend they had wanted their son to hang out with, and their opinion hadn't changed over the years. 

Seokjin had tried his best to shield Yoongi from their spiral comments and hurtful glares, but Yoongi was no fool. He could feel their animosity from a mile away.

He remembered the time Seokjung told them off for their rude behaviour, right in front of Yoongi. He didn't hold himself back, letting them know exactly how disrespectful they were being towards his younger brothers friend. Yoongi was only sixteen, still too afraid to stand up for himself in front of such intimidating people like the Kim's, but Seokjungs eagle eyes had noticed his tense shoulders, the way hit bit his lip nervously, the way he shuffled his feet whilst Mrs Kim said something particularly brutal about his appearance.

His thoughts were interrupted by the volume of Seokjin's shouting, followed by an abrupt slam of his door. Yoongi watched as Seokjin walked into the room, hands on his hips as he searched the floor with his eyes. Seokjin always had a youthful face, something that Yoongi was very jealous of, but whenever he spoke to his parents, or even at the mention of them, he looked as if he aged twenty odd years.

There was pink and purple bruising covering the right side of Seokjin's neck. He must've gotten pretty busy with Jimin after rehearsals, Yoongi thought, scowling at the mental image in his head. He didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone earlier, not after the dramatic display he witnessed of Jimin in the damn changing room. The guy wasn't good enough for Seokjin. He was a liar, he was selfish and demanding.

But Seokjin smiled brightly at him, eyes twinkling in such a way that Yoongi hadn't seen in a long time. He cared deeply about the boy, and despite all the flaws that Park Jimin inhabited, Yoongi couldn't bring it upon himself to intervene. He had been the one to give Jimin a second chance after all, to make things right.

He really hoped Seokjin knew what he was getting himself into with Park Jimin, and was preparing himself for the fall.

"Bad news?" Yoongi asked, tilting his head.

Seokjin sighed shakily, nodding his head. His adam's apple quivered and his eyes stayed glued onto the wooden floor. He looked like he was about to cry. Yoongi knew all the signs.

He leant up on his seat, a look of concern washing over his face. Why wouldn't Seokjin look at him? "Hyung?" He stood up. "What's the matter?"

Seokjin nibbled on his lip painfully, making Yoongi wince. He looked as if he would start drawing blood soon. Running his hand through his hair with a shaky hand, he took a long deep breath. 

"They're going to sell the apartment."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. His thoughts immediately went towards their own apartment. Seokjin's parents hadn't been the ones to pay for it, nor did they help secure it in any way possible. They barely helped their son financially at all, so they had no right to sell an apartment that wasn't their's in the first place.

But the look on Seokjin's face, the way his voice wobbled, the quite yet upsetting tone he used, made Yoongi's skin turn cold.

"You mean… your brothers?"

Seokjin nodded again, turning his head away from Yoongi.

Yoongi had been expecting bad news, like the family dog had passed away, Mr Kim's business had been exposed for corruption, they were getting a divorce, someone had been diagnosed with a terrible disease, anything but that. It was such a simple thing, something that was inevitable, but Yoongi had never thought of this day finally arriving.

"But…but…..what about Shinhye?" Yoongi asked, scowling ever so slightly as he mentioned Seokjung's widowed fiancée. "I thought she still lived there?"

"She's moving out," Seokjin whispered, voice even quite than before. "She hasn't lived there for a while. Months, actually. She's got a new boyfriend, and she's going to live with him."

Yoongi couldn't help but hate the woman. He felt a little guilt every time he inwardly cursed her to hell and back, since she had never actually done anything to deserve his wrath. He just couldn't stand the sight of her, the way she cuddled up to Seokjung, acting like a part of the family instantly when she barely knew any of them, patted Seokjin on the head like he was a child, kissed Mr and Mrs Kim's asses every single day, ignored Yoongi's presence, making him feel even smaller and meaningless than he already did. She didn't deserve to be in that spot, she hadn't earned her place.

Even now, years older and much more mature than he used to be, Yoongi could still feel that green monstrous envy creeping up inside him.

"Maybe…." Seokjin started, eyes darting all over the place, as if he was searching for an answer. They landed on Yoongi. "Maybe we can pay for it instead?" He took a step towards his roommate. "That way, Mum and Dad won't be able to get rid of the place."

"Hyung…" Yoongi said, unable to find the words.

Seokjin wasn't listening. "We can find the money, I'll even get a job again if I have to!" He was standing in front of Yoongi. "I'm sure all those modelling agencies I turned down will still be interested. And I bet they'll pay a ton."

"Hyung, I don't-"

"And there were those commercial teams that approached me that one time, I wonder if I still have their business card, or if I threw it away. Do you remember where I put-"

"Seokjin!" 

Yoongi grabbed both of his shoulders firmly, shaking them a little as if asking him to snap out of his trance. Seokjin fell silent, his eyes staring directly into Yoongi's, and Yoongi's directly into Seokjin's. He had seen that face before, time and time again. That look of fear.

Yoongi cleared his throat, squeezing his best friends shoulders just a little. "Jin hyung…. listen…." He paused, opening and closing his mouth a few times. "…Maybe it's time to let it go."

Seokjin froze. He started biting his lip again, harsher than before.

"No."

He pushed Yoongi's arms away, but Yoongi only grabbed hold again. "It's just collecting dust, hyung. It would be better just to let it go, instead of leaving it there as a bad memory. Your parents are wasting their money by keeping it."

"You're wrong." Seokjin pushes hard enough for Yoongi to not attempt to hold him again. "That's his home. No one else's. We can't throw that away."

Yoongi wanted to cry at the sight of Seokjin, frantic and scared. He must not have been the prettiest sight either, on the verge of tears himself.

"I won't let them take him away. Not again." Seokjin said, determined. His clenched fists loosened, his head dropped. "It's all I have left."

Silence entered the room uninvitedly, invading what was once filled with loud shouting and hurtful anger. Yoongi didn't know how many times they would have to do this; Lose Seokjung. It felt like a regular occurrence. Even after he was gone, it was is if he was still here, surrounding them and consuming them.

He hadn't visited the apartment in months. He had thought about going plenty of times, the thought entering his mind whenever he was daydreaming, or randomly started thinking of the older Kim sibling. The last time he was there, it was on Seokjung's birthday. He brought along a basketball with him as a gift. Seokjung loved sports, and Yoongi was certain he would've loved the present. He always loved Yoongi's presents. The first gift he ever bought for him was a sports magazine that he'd found in the sales section of a book store. It was cheap as hell, and the corners were torn and there was a strange smell to it, but it was a limited edition, and as Yoongi had expected, Seokjung was utterly delighted. He instantly put it on display in his apartment, next to a long line of trophies and medals he had received from his old sports days. 

He wished he could've known Seokjung back then, seen him play in his prime, running through the field like he always described and reminisced over. He always looked happiest when he talked about the old days, with a hint of sadness and regret.

The last time he entered that apartment, the trophies were riddled with dust, untouched for such a long length of time. The apartment that was once filled with life and happiness, felt dark and depressing. It was strange how the room he once considered one of his favourite places to be, now resembled a funeral parlour. He remembered looking around, searching for an ounce of something, anything, that could still make this place feel like home. The magazine he had bought all those years ago remained on that shelf, just as dusty as all the ornaments. 

Seokjin sniffled, his hair falling into his eyes as he lowered his head towards the ground.

He wanted to ask Seokjin how long it had been since he had visited, but he bit his tongue. It didn't matter, anyway. Even if Seokjin was still a frequent visitor, it wouldn't change anything.

Yoongi knew there was nothing left there anymore. Even all the fond memories he used to treasure had been tainted by what had happened, festering in the back of his mind and memory. Keeping the apartment would only reopen wounds that Seokjin and Yoongi had tightly sown shut.

"He's not there anymore, Seokjin."

Seokjin's head sunk even lower, his fringe completely covering his eyes. Yoongi didn't know what to do anymore. He tried to be understanding and patient, he tried to go at Seokjin's own pace, but at this rate, Seokjin would never recover. He needed to hear this. He needed to let go, bit by bit.

"I won't let them," he mumbled, turning towards his room. 

Before he could walk away, Yoongi reached out his arm and grabbed ahold one last time. "Stop this. Please, just stop." His own hands were shaking. "You can't do this anymore. I know this is difficult, trust me, I'm as frustrated as you are, but this can't go on any longer." Seokjin tried to tug his arm away, but Yoongi's grip tightened. "That's not his home anymore! Seokjung isn't-"

"Don't say his name."

Yoongi let go at the threatening tone of Seokjin's voice. Seokjin glared back at him one last time, his eyes bloodshot and furious, his eyebrows furrowed, his lips in a straight line, before returning to his room, where Yoongi presumed he would stay for the remainder of the night.

Yoongi let his feet fall back against the couch, his torso diving into the soft pillows heavily. He stayed there for what felt like hours, listening to the clock on the wall ticking, the scratching sound of the tree branches against the windows, and eventually, the soft weeping of his best friend, silently muffled by his pillow and the walls that separated them.

Yoongi wanted nothing more than to cry as well, to burst the dam inside him that had been building up for so long, not a single breach until now. He could let it all go right now, right here, and finally give in to what he had wanted for so long. But he had promised himself he wouldn't. Seokjung had told him a long time ago to never cry over something that he cant change, or someone that he loves, so he promised himself to follow those words for as long as he lived.

It was time for Seokjin to let him go. To accept the inevitable and the past and just let the pain inside. It was okay for him to feel hurt, to feel alone and abandoned, to feel angry at the universe for taking something he deeply loved away. 

Yoongi thought it was time he started listening to his own advice as well.

Chapter Text

November 10th.

Am I supposed to say hi to my journal? Is that how other people start? Like… "Hey journal!! I'm here to write down my deepest darkest and most depressing thoughts today! Hope it doesn't make you want to kill yourself :)"

Is this even a journal? Wait, shit. On the back it says diary. Fuck sake. How did I miss that?

My stupid therapist who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about told me to write down my thoughts today, so, here I am, writing them down.

He's a dumbass for thinking this would actually help, and I'm an even dumber ass for going along with it. I even bought this damn diary with my own money. Waste of fucking time. AND cash.

Seokjin sighed, reading over the last few sentences he'd written. He could never stay focused, letting the topic go off the rails and turn into a complete mess. This was supposed to be about his brother. He breathed deeply, attempting to clear his mind before returning pen to paper.

Kim Seokjung. My older brother.

I haven't written his name in a long time. I guess it feels…. strange. 

To go from talking to someone every single day, to having their existence wiped off the face of the earth.

I guess that's my fault, after all.

Sometimes I have dreams about him, where he's telling me something important, giving me advice that he wasn't able to share before he passed. Like he's this wise guardian from up above, guiding me on my path to…wherever. Other times, I remember he's feeding worms in a ditch right now and anything else I tell myself is just a fairy tale to make myself feel better. At least I have two weapons to help myself survive this: all the scripts and books to distract myself and my shining personality. 

Seokjin quickly scribbled out the last sentence. He needed to stop turning to jokes as a coping mechanism. 

It's been over a year since he died. I still think about him all the time.

I guess they think talking and writing about my brother helps me cope with my feelings, or whatever, as if a few paragraphs about how fucking great he was could help me forget that his guts are still rotting in the ground. And what the fuck am I supposed to say anyway? That he was the perfect brother, who was fun to be around and hardly ever angry? That he treated me like an equal? That he was the only person who believed in me? That he could always make me laugh even when I was being a total dick? That he always sang super badly in the shower and hated hypocrisy? Or that his apartment is still there in the middle of Seoul, totally deserted, collecting dust and the thought of going to see it or leaving it there are both so painful that it's easier for my parents and I to to just pretend that none of us notice it? 

If that's coping, then coping can go fuck itself.

He paused his pen, halting the voice in his head. There wasn't going to be an apartment to go to for much longer. He knew that no matter how much he protested or threatened his parents, they would not budge. He was going to say goodbye to his brother for good, very very soon.

That apartment was the only thing he had left. 

Mum and Dad have decided to sell the apartment.

I wish they had asked for my permission. Even my opinion on the matter would've been better than to just call up and tell me that they are ripping away the last physical hold I have on my brother.

Everyone thinks it's time to move on. My parents say it. My therapist says it. Even Yoongi. They all say it, as if it's so easy for someone like me to just forget.

I'm convinced closure is a made up thing by Stephen Spielberg to sell movie tickets.

Seokjin gripped his desk tightly, scratching his nails against the wood. He didn't want to mention Yoongi, but he couldn't hold himself back from writing the name onto the sheet of paper, feeling a little guilty.

I don't want to let go.

I don't want to say goodbye.

How am I supposed to ever say goodbye to him? I don't know if I'll ever be able to.

It takes Seokjin approximately ten seconds to decide to rip the page out of the stupid notebook, and scrunch it into a tiny ball. He knew it was pointless from the beginning. When Dr. Lee finally brought up the topic of his brother, Seokjin snapped at him instantly. He called the poor man a bunch of horrid names, told him that he was never coming back, and then started crying right in front of him.

One of the most embarrassing moments of his entire career.

The crazy therapist had told him that if expressing his thoughts and feelings was too difficult to do out loud, then to attempt writing them down instead.

Seokjin had felt incredibly patronised. He was fantastic with words, never failing to get his point across in the best way possible. Or maybe that was what he'd just told himself for such a long time, he started to believe his own lies.

He tried around in his chair, throwing the crunched up ball of emotions straight into the can across the room. His aim was flawless.

But he still felt empty.

A small high pitched voice in his head told him to pick up the pen and continue writing, or retrieve the screw up paper and reflect. He couldn't bring himself to do either of those things.

~

Seokjin and Yoongi rushed into the car as soon as they got the call.

He sees building pass by outside the car window, as if they're fading into a different reality, drowning into the darkness of a place soon to be forgotten, without a name to ring light in his heart. The pink surroundings turn into green, then into grey, the scenery leaving is memory as soon as it entered.

He doesn't know what's happened. He knows theres been an accident, he knows it's something to do with his brother. But he doesn't know why they're running, why as soon as Yoongi picked up the phone, he dragged Seokjin out of the room and straight into the car, with panic in his eyes that Seokjin had never quite seen before.

The sunlight poured in from the window, slipping through tall trees, casting rays of light onto Yoongi's face as he frantically drives. 

"Yoongi, he's going to be alright. You'll see." Seokjin says to calm his friend down, unaware of his own naivety. Seokjung was going to be okay, he told himself. He just had a minor accident. When they show up at the hospital, he'll be getting stitches on his arm, or his leg, or his torso, and he'll laugh and point at the look on their faces when they enter the room, telling them that they both looked like shit.

It would be okay.

Yoongi immediately stiffened up, shoulders visibly tense. He thinks for a while, before nodding his head slightly.

"I hope so."

A lot of his memories after that were a blur. From the car to the front desk to the private hospital room, they all seemed to merge into one, rancid memory. 

The longer he waited in that hospital, the more grey faces he saw, and nurses with no faith left in his eyes, the more reality began to sunk into Seokjin's heart. He started running, running to find his brother, running to see his bright face, running to seek the truth. He has never ran so fast in his life.

"Where's my brother?" He asked a nurse outside the room Seokjung was supposed to be staying in. He grabbed her arm, not hearing Yoongi's pleas to calm down. "Where is he? Did you move him? Is that what he asked? Please tell me?"

He sounded desperate; more desperate than he realised he felt. The air felt stale and heavy around him.

The nurse looked a little frightened by the intense look in Seokjin's eyes, the grip around her arm growing tighter and tighter.

Before she could answer, he hears his brothers name being spoken from across the hall. He looks up and see's Shinhye outside a hospital room, her hands buried in her face, and she was sobbing. The world feels cold, devout of something. He isn't able to see Shinhyes face anymore, her hair covering it as she falls into a hospital seat.

Something's wrong.

Something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong.

Seokjung never got ill. He had always been a healthy kid before his injury. Despite that, he always works hard at everything he does, especially when it came down to being a good business man. It was never the dream he wanted, he had told Seokjin that many years ago, but he was happy with the life he achieved. He had a loving fiancé, plenty of friends that adored him, and a younger brother who saw the universe whenever he glanced up at his older sibling.

He was happy with his life.

Suddenly, Seokjin is ten years old again. He's ten and he's crying because his brother hurt his leg. Badly. He's crying because Seokjung is holding it together like a pro, and that makes him only cry harder. He's crying because even though the doctor just told Seokjung that he'd most likely never be able to play sports again, he still turned to his younger brother and wiped his tears away.

Seokjin is twelve years old, and he understands now; why his brother couldn't cry, why he had to stay strong. He knows what he is, he knows what his brother is, and he know what his mother is too.

His mother is sat at the kitchen table, an almost empty flask of liquor in her hand and a face stained with tears. Seokjin can see the photos scattered across the table. Photos of his father with another woman.

Seokjin understood. He didn't need his mother to explain. He didn't feel any pity for her either. He knew she had been with someone else too. How do you pity someone who had always been broken? Seokjin couldn't remember the last time she smiled at him, a flame of happiness no longer present in the curve of her lips.

It all made sense.

"What did you say?" He manages to ask, not because he didn't hear Shinhye the first time, but because he wishes he didn't.

The woman in front of him looked up at him, eyes red from crying. She lets out another long sob, trying to hold herself together in front of her fiancés little brother. It doesn't last very long.

"He's gone, Seokjin. He's gone, and he's not coming back."

Seokjin hears it again, knowing he heard it right the first time. The world around him began to crumble, turning into something that could never be fixed. Words and explanations pour out of her mouth, green and black and red in colour, sneaking into Seokjin's soul and turning it into a stained canvas.

The last thing he remembers are Yoongi's hands on his shoulders as he fell to the ground, holding onto him tightly, trying not to let him fall.

~

His eyes fluttered open, vision readjusting to the light and the surroundings of his room. He must've fell asleep on his chair, his neck aching from the tension built up in the area that was bent.

He couldn't stop reliving that day, trying to figure out when things went wrong. Getting onto his feet, he approaches the light switch by the corner, and flicks it off.

Just like a year ago, just like five minutes ago, the lights flicker out around Seokjin. But this time, not even the light inside himself stays lit.

The world stays dark, the only fleeting lights are neon signs of clubs and the green station light blinking outside the lonely apartment he now calls his own. Seokjin hated the universe, and the universe hated him back. It took away the only good person in Seokjin's life without a single warning, without letting him say goodbye, and for that, he'll never forgive any God or all powerful being that caused this.

He's learned the rules of living with grief, not only from death, but the grief that his family has carried for years. He learned them inside and out, promising his mother he understood.

The rules were there for a reason. To stop him from ever feeling the pain he had already felt ever again, or the pain that his mother experienced when she lost her husband as well.

He thought he understood, but now, it felt like everything finally made sense. Now he truly understands why his mother hammered those rules into his memory, moulded them to be a part of his spine. She'd done it so he wouldn't make the same mistake that she'd done with his father, with his brother, so that he wouldn't fall in love and destroy his happiness with his own hands.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

The phone lying on his bed lit up the entire room brightly, making Seokjin squint in his seat. It was vibrating every few seconds to the sound of the sailor moon theme tune, signalling a phone call from someone.

It took every ounce of effort to get up from the chair again after he'd just sat down, picking up the phone and glancing at the screen.

something lit up in his belly, like a candle.

"Hi hyung!" Jimin's voice chimed, way too over enthusiastic for this time of night. 

If it had been anyone else, Seokjin would've ignored the call, or maybe just told them to fuck off because he wasn't in the mood to chat, but his fingers had accepted the call before he even registered in his mind that it was Jimin's name on the caller ID. 

"Hey, Jimin." He knew how bad he probably sounded right now. He couldn't help it.

"…You don't sound too good. Are you okay?"

Seokjin coughed, clearing his scratchy throat. "I'm fine, Jiminie. Just a rough night." He wait's for Jimin's response, not sure why he's suddenly feeling nervous in the pit of his stomach. Maybe Jimin wanted to bail out of the show again, maybe he was calling to say he'd had enough, he was leaving and never coming back. It wasn't like Seokjin to jump to conclusions, but his mind was playing tricks on him tonight.

"Are you free on Saturday? I checked the rehearsals schedule and I saw you have the day off, but if you're busy then thats totally fine! I just wanted to, um, have lunch together." Jimin finally asks, sounding slightly shy and unsure.

Seokjin spends a moment processing the questions. Jimin isn't leaving, he's asking for his company. To spend more time together. It takes everything inside him not to start screaming, begging, pleading: Yes! Please.

Jimin was like the light in a dark room. A bit too bright and hard to see properly, but Seokjin is unable to stop himself from approaching it, following it for as long as he desires. Most of the time, Seokjin finds bright lights far too irritating for his eyes, but this light is warm, and despite the warning bells in his head, trying to remind him that he'll burn if he touches it, he reaches out his hand. He convinces himself to forget that even small flames can turn into forest-fires.

The four letter word sprung into his mind before he can even process it, practically falling off his tongue. But he bites it down quickly, shoving it down his throat and into his stomach, not allowing it to resurface. He was just hurting right now, and feeling incredibly helpless to his feelings.

"I hope you're not expecting me to pay. After all, I did treat you so well on your birthday, don't forget. I think I'm owed a favour," Seokjin replies, the emotion returning in his voice, feeling like normal again.

The laughter that comes from the phone burns, like the sun coming back out after a harsh and cold winter. He can picture the smile on Jimin's face, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, only for Seokjin and his stupid sense of humour.

He's still scared and slightly shaky from his dream, feeling vulnerable and on the verge of crying, but this time the pain doesn't feel so bad. It hurts a little less when he's giggling over a phone call to someone who lights up his whole room with just a simple hello. 

He's scared to let go, to hold on too tight only for it to disappear, just like what happened with Seokjung.

Seokjin will be ripped apart if Jimin ever disappears, vanishing out of his life abruptly without a goodbye or warning. The only fear bigger than that, was the fear of letting himself go instead. Letting himself fall into love that could destroy him. 

Not only would it rip him apart, it would tear him up into tiny pieces until there was nothing left.

~

Jimin tapped his feet on the pavement to a beat in his head, pretend he had some tap shoes on. The sound the floor made under his shoes was pretty loud, aiding the fantasy in his mind. He'd always wanted to try tap dancing. It looked so technical, so rhythmic, that he wished he attempted it when he was still a child.

Seokjin was ten minutes late.

He fidgeted on the spot outside the café he'd chosen for lunch, checking every face that walked past to see if it was Seokjin. It was no use. 

Calm down, you stupid son of a bitch.

He needed to be cool and chill today, totally unbothered and charming. How else is he supposed to properly ask Seokjin out if he can't process two words without stuttering?

The café he'd chosen was small and quaint, very cute on the inside with lots of sweet treats on the menu. Jimin thought Seokjin might like a place like this to have lunch. Was it too romantic?

He mentally slapped himself. This wasn't a date, so he had to stop freaking himself out. God, he had no idea what he was doing.

He has no idea where the courage came from the other night he called Seokjin out of the blue. They usually just texted each other cute messages, so a phone call was very out of character for Jimin. The wheels in his head were turning whilst he drank a hot chocolate at the kitchen counter, feeling the urge to be a little daring and selfish.

"Hi hyung!" Jimin shrilled, hating how high pitched he sounded. He already regretted his decision.

He heard a sigh from the other side, "Hey, Jimin."

Jimin furrowed his eyebrows. Seokjin's voice sounded heavy and rough, like he'd been… crying?

"You don't sound too good, are you okay?" Jimin asked, trying not to pry too much. Don't push him, Jimin. Know your boundaries.

"I'm fine, Jiminie," He coughed. "Just a rough night."

Jimin knew Seokjin better than he thought he did. There were so many layers to the man, it was impossible to see through them all. Jimin hoped he could at least break through one of them.

"Are you free on Saturday? I checked the rehearsals schedule and I saw you have the day off, but if you're busy then thats totally fine! I just wanted to, um, have lunch together." He wished he didn't sound like he was begging for a date. 

When no answer came, Jimin found himself starting to sweat. Did he suggest something too bold? Seokjin had always been the one to initiate their plans and decide where they went and what they did, so Jimin felt a little out of place. Maybe it was a dumb idea. No, it was definitely a dumb idea. 

"I hope you're not expecting me to pay. After all, I did treat you so well on your birthday, don't forget. I think I'm owed a favour," he finally answers.

Relief washes over Jimin, laughing as his previous worry fades away. "You know what? I'll treat you this time. Consider it a reward for all your hard work learning the choreography."

Where was all that courage now when Jimin needed it? 

He checked his phone, thirteen minutes late. Jimin had half the mind to send him a text reminding him of the time and where he promised he would be.

"Jimin!"

His head turned so quickly it felt like it would snap. Seokjin was running down the street towards him, looking out of breath. "Ow, fuck. Leg cramp," he moaned and stuttered, clutching his right leg as he stumbled towards Jimin. "I got the wrong address. I thought it was the café around the corner. Sorry for my tardiness, Jiminie."

Jimin raised an eyebrow at his formality. "Are you okay?"

"No, I've got a stitch!" He clutches his hip, dramatically groaning in pain.

"I thought you said it was leg cramp," Jimin said, leaning his head down to reach Seokjin's hunched over height.

"I have both!" 

Jimin shook his head in amusement. Always such a drama queen. "Does that mean you'll be the one treating me? To make up for your rude late arrival?"

"Hold on just a second." Seokjin stands up straight. "I wasn't that late."

"It's been fifteen minutes."

Seokjin scowled. "Okay. How about we both just pay for our own items. Sound like a good offer?"

Jimin nodded, opening the door for Seokjin. The actor strolled in, soon followed by the other. The café was fairly busy, with only a few tables left for the two men to pick from. Seokjin placed himself on a seat by the window, wiping away a few crumbs left on the table with his nose all scrunched up. Jimin sat opposite, shoving his hands in his pockets. He hated how incredibly attractive Seokjin looked right now, but the younger man decided not to coax the actors ego too much by complimenting him out loud.

"This is the best seat in the whole building. I always sit here," Seokjin says, grabbing the menu.

Jimin looked up. "You've been here before?"

Seokjin snorted, eyes scanning the long list of cakes. "This place is cursed." His finger points at a cake with a huge strawberry on top. "People always bring me here to confess their undying love for me. You'd be surprised by the amount of people who have sat in your seat, begging me to be their boyfriend, only to get horribly rejected."

Jimin's stomach tightened. That couldn't be true. Surely Seokjin was just messing with him.

"I'll admit, I had considered the possibility when you asked me to come here," his eyes fall onto Jimin's, making the man gulp. "But I remembered that you already confessed your love to me, so we have crossed that hurdle in our relationship."

Son of a bitch.

He smirked at Jimin with an evil gaze, bringing up the memory of Jimin's embarrassingly abrupt confession on the street. Jimin lowered his head onto the table, banging it lightly as Seokjin cackled at his dismay. He'll never be able to forget that day, and from the looks of things, neither will Seokjin.

"This looks delicious!" Seokjin leaned back, placing his arm over the chair casually. 

Seokjin's leg gently grazes over Jimin's, then again, then again. At first, Jimin thought it was an accident, but the way Seokjin was clearly poking at prodding Jimin's feet in a game of footsie was in no ways an accident. They carefully played with each others feet, daring but not rushing. Jimin hid his smile in the palm of his hand.

"I'm going to the counter to order," Seokjin announces, getting himself up and walking to the front. He stood excitedly, bouncing his feet a little as he approached the counter.

It was nice seeing Seokjin anticipate something other than that damn show, but only a little. A smidge, a crumb of joy.

He looked over to Jimin. "Aren't you getting anything? The line's getting longer."

Jimin clears his throat and shrugs. "Just a sandwich." He looks over the extensive menu. It was very classic and home-y, with a hint of upper class in the deserts selection. He's never even heard of some of these cakes before. He wondered if Seokjin could explain what they all were.

Seokjin must've noticed his distress, or simply got tired of waiting for Jimin to choose something to eat, so he makes his way back to the table and points at the menu in Jimin's hand. "There's the egg and bacon sandwich. Or egg and sausage if you'd prefer." His finger moves to another section of the menu. "The coffee tiramisu is really good as well."

Jimin nods his head. "Thank you."

It was a good thing Seokjin was here. Jimin was so indecisive, he could never make good decisions quickly.

Seokjin ran back into the line and ordered, smiling at the tray of food as he carried it back over. He ended up paying for Jimin's food as well, grumbling about how much of a good person he was for treating him. Jimin reminded him that he was in fact late, and that made Seokjin only grumble and groan more, Jimin snickering at him. It did warm his heart a little seeing Seokjin pay for his food, especially when he wasn't obliged to.

His choices for Jimin had both been very good. The sandwich filling his need for something salty and unhealthy. Probably not the best for his strict dancer diet, but for once he couldn't care less. And the cake was mouth waveringly sweet. The bitterness of the coffee made it so much more delicious.

Seokjin had been enjoying his own Victoria sponge cake, moaning in pleasure as he dug in to his meal. He paused mid bite, looking up at Jimin, who had been staring at him wide-eyed. 

"What?" Seokjin mumbled, mouth full of cake.

"Enjoying yourself?" The younger asks, amused and somewhat aroused at the sight he just witnessed.

Seokjin nodded his head with enthusiasm, cheeks filled with food. Jimin grinned and continued watching the other man down the rest of his food, satisfied noises leaving Seokjin's mouth every once in a while. There was something incredibly blissful in watching the older man eat.

He wants to know Seokjin better.

And yet all he finds himself doing is being to invested in his stories to actually ask. Maybe he's too shy, maybe he thinks he's being too intruding, or maybe he's too scared; too scared to have all this knowledge about him.

He's going to reject you again.

Jimin shakes the disturbing thoughts from his head, continuing his yummy meal. Never ending small talk fills the space between them, random facts and tidbits of themselves shared with each other. Secrets no one else will ever know, embarrassing stories too terrible to ever speak of again, confessions they'll carry with them for the rest of their lives, comical stories that have their eyes brimming with tears; just average 'small talk.'

At some point, they both leave the sweet café, and end up walking with no real direction. They share ear buds, the right one in Jimin's and the left in Seokjin's, then a quiet, fast paced piano melody starts. Jimin's never heard it before.

"Do you like it?" Seokjin asks, smiling.

"Mmm." Jimin nods his head. "It sounds…pretty." He can feel his heart swell as he listens to it, even pushing the earbud deeper inside to hear it clearer. "It's giving me this weird feeling… I can't really explain it-"

"Like you want to run, right?" Seokjin smirks down at Jimin.

Jimin grins. "Yeah, exactly."

The music begins to pick up as the streets start to fill with people heading home, crowds forming and plenty of pushing and shoving. Their hands brush together frequently, static making their hearts flinch with every touch.

As the song builds, Jimin starts to pick up the pace. Before their hands can separate and get lost in the crowd, Jimin curls his fingers tight around Seokjin's and starts all out running, weaving through the people. He hears Seokjin laughing wildly, his smile wide and happy. It reminds him of the last time they rain together, fully drenched in the rain, the only heat in their bodies tied together in their hands. Jimin thinks this must be the most he's run in a lifetime, his legs already tired and his lungs out of breath, but he's having too much fun to care. He's come to realise: when you run with Seokjin, you'll feel like it'll never end. You'll feel like you're going to feel this alive forever; your heart racing and your adrenaline pumping and your eyes the clearest they've ever been.

And suddenly, Seokjin is tugging him along in a different direction, and he accepts it. He trusts him. Before long they're entering the back door to a grand hotel, taking the elevator all the way up to the very top floor. They run up a stairwell, Seokjin leading, Jimin not too far behind, their fingers laced, palms sweaty, but their grip ever firm. Seokjin slams the rooftop door open, and they are greeted by a great burst of wind.

The song starts to slow, calming down. Jimin pants, licking his dry lips, swallowing hard to sooth the burning of his throat. He looks out, dazzled by the scenery before him. The sky is starting to change, a purple glow painting the horizon. Jimin feels his heart drop to his stomach from standing at such great heights. Everything seems so miniature to him from up here; he feels like a king. He lets out a single chuckle of amazement, not having any more breath for words.

He looks to Seokjin, seeing his dark hair fly around crazily as its hit with the wind. Seoul seems so quiet from up here. The sun has just started beginning to set, the city to be illuminated with the blue purple colours of the evening. The day went so quickly with Seokjin, feeling like hours passed by in mere minutes.

Jimin feels a sudden easiness take over him, feeling the infinite moment completely soak itself into his heart as he felt it flutter. He feels like a noble reigning over his kingdom, he feels like a grand ruler, he feels important.

The song is ending, but the story that goes along with it never will.

~

"Hey," Seokjin calls, pulling Jimin along by the fingers. "Come here." He beckons Jimin closer, walking him over to the perimeter rails. 

He lets go of Jimin's hand and sets it on the cold metal rail, lying his palm on top of Jimin's hand. His touch is the only thing keeping Jimin warm; not his outer shirt or his jeans or his jacket, just Seokjin's hand. He looks down at their fingers, turning immensely coy just at the sight.

Jimin looks back out at the city and inhales. "This is incredible," he sighs. "How did you even know the code for the door?"

Seokjin smirks. "Who do you think owns this building?" He looks back out. "My father, of course." He sighs as well, watching the lights in the city glow. "I used to come here all the time. It brings me peace. I don't think I'll ever find a view that I love more than this, with the streets filled with life and the wind so cold." His voice is soft and quiet.

I would beg to differ, Jimin thinks with a dry grin, blinking once and immediately seeing the image of Seokjin in the rain, gracing Jimin with his beauty, but he doesn't say a word.

"Come on," Seokjin begins with a silly chuckle, giving his hand a squeeze before pulling it off the rail.

Jimin raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"Let's reenact the titanic scene."

Jimin instantly knows which scene Seokjin's talking about, and his eyes widen the size of saucers. "No way," He refuses, quickly taking a good step back from the railing. "There's no way I'm letting you stand on these rails with the possibility of you plummeting to your death."

"I wasn't planning on jumping," Seokjin says obviously. He pokes Jimin's chest. "You're gonna be Rose, I'll be Jack."

"WHAT?!" Jimin lurches back. "You'll push me off!"

"What kind of blood thirsty criminal do you take me for?" Seokjin scoffed. "Come on, it'll be fine-"

"I'm not doing that."

"Why not? Haven't you ever wanted to feel like you're flying?" He jests.

"Not once," Jimin spits back, and it's true. He's experienced the feeling before, plenty of times, in fact, every time he takes a leap of faith for Seokjin. That's flying for him, and that's the only thing close to flying he'll ever want to do.

Seokjin sighs dramatically. "So you'll face your fear of large crowds and demonstrate your choreography to a room full of peering eyes, but not stand on this rail with me?"

"Exactly."

"Fine," he gives up, rolling his eyes. Seokjin marches his way over the rails, heaving both feet up to stand on one of the bars. "I guess I'm doing this alone…" He mumbles.

Jimin watches with wide eyes, growing more nervous from Seokjin's actions. "Be careful!" He warns, holding onto his waist. 

Seokjin cackles. "Come on, Jimin!" He encourages. "Get up here!"

Jimin visibly gulps. What is he even thinking?

Hesitantly, very very very hesitantly, he hoists himself up and presses himself up against the rail. Seokjin awkwardly shuffles himself behind Jimin, clearly determined to play the part of Jack Dawson. Jimin's heart races in his chest, feeling like it's going to jump out any second from his chest and fall all the way down the skyscraper; possibly, just like him. He whines, scared of this height and falling with the possibility of dying, but Seokjin just laughs. In a way it's comforting, but it also just adds to the abundant amount of butterflies in Jimin's stomach, which makes the situation all the more terrifying. 

Seokjin shifts his position, nudging Jimin behind him instead, and holding out his arms wide to the sky, switching from Jack to Rose.

Jimin's torn between staring at the incredible scene before him - the endless city landscape, the wind in the sky and Seokjin's cute laugh - and shutting his eyes tightly. He doesn't get how unafraid Seokjin is, he doesn't get how Seokjin can fearlessly step up here without hesitation, letting go of the handrails and stand with his arms outstretched on each side. He doesn't understand how when Seokjin's faced with danger, he just laughs.

Jimin settles for hooking both arms tightly round Seokjin's waist - unlike Seokjin, he's too scared to not hold onto anything - and stuffing his face into his back. He think's he much prefers playing Jack Dawson. His mind races with thoughts about how high up they are and that they're going to die, they're going to die, he's so going to die. He's shaking from a mixture of terror and from the cold, and he hugs Seokjin's body tighter to his if only to feel something stable.

"Hey, Hey! Jimin!" Seokjin calls with a smile in his voice, "Check this out…"

Jimin takes a peek out from the spot in Seokjin's back he buried his face into, not daring to look down the side of the building, and watches Seokjin's face closely. The older man inhales, and then bellows, "I'M FLYING, JACK, I'M FLYING!"

His voice is broken and loud and he almost starts laughing too hard to finish. Jimin ends up laughing with him, gasping for breath. He can feel his own tummy clench with each hearty giggle, subconsciously rubbing his fingers over Seokjin's stomach, not noticing the flinches it caused the actor.

When he's around Seokjin, Jimin knows he'll never be bored.

~

"Okay, calm down Hoseok, you're going to be okay you mother fucker. You're going to be fine," Hoseok said to himself, pacing back and forth on his spot in the empty street. "God, what the fuck am I saying? You're not okay you absolute fucking moron."

He wasn't too sure how he ended up here, on a street he didn't recognise, in some random old village, in the middle of nowhere.

Not only that, his phone was completely dead, he had barely any money left, and might've lost his wallet somewhere. Cue the instant panic.

Hoseok was holding himself back from slamming his head into the wall from his pure stupidity. He has never been the irresponsible type, he always locks the door after him, always takes his keys, always has spare cash, always has his phone fully charged with a spare power bank with him just in case. He is always prepared for emergencies like this, but the one time he actually has an emergency, of fucking course he has none of the things he needed most.

He had gotten onto a bus to visit his sister, but must've fallen asleep during the ride, and when he woke up, he ended up in this hick town. This couldn't be Seoul anymore, everyone here looks like they've lived for centuries and all have their own farm on one of the many hills surrounding him.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest, panic on the tip of his tongue. He didn't know what to do, or how to get home. There was no way of calling anyone, either. He was stuck.

"Excuse me, ma'am. You wouldn't by any chance have a phone I could borrow for just a second?" Hoseok pleaded a few older women passing by, most of which brushed him off.

One woman with a kind face - and a rather strange hat - stopped walking when Hoseok approached and asked for her aid. "Sorry, dear. I don't carry around one of those things with me." She turns her head to the street, pointing a finger. "There's a hotel a little down the street. If you ask politely, they might let you use their phone."

Hoseok bowed his head and thanked her, running off in the direction she gestured. He reached the small hotel, noticing how ancient and dusty it looked, and entered. "Excuse me," he gained the attention of the small middle aged woman at the dirty desk. "Is there a phone here I could use? Mine's out of battery."

"Go somewhere else, kid. I don't do favours for free," she dismisses him, waving her hand in a shooing motion.

Hoseok bits his lip, and bows his head again. "Please. I'm lost and I have no money and I might die if I stay out here for to long, my family will never find me out here and I'll end up becoming a little lost farm boy when I should be living my dream in Seoul amongst all the-"

"Would you stop yapping?" She grouched. Taking another look at Hoseok, who was displaying his best innocent puppy dog look, she sighed heavily, picking up the phone on the desk and passing it to him. "Do what you have to do."

"Thank you, thank you so much!" He bowed his head a couple more times, before turning his attention back to the old phone. 

Obviously, the first person he attempted to call was Jimin. They have each others numbers memorised in times of emergencies like these. He dialled the number with his speedy fingers, but Jimin's phone was switched off.

Curse that damn kid. He always helped Jimin in his own times of need, when will his kindness ever be repaid? The brat was probably with his angst ridden, yet dashingly handsome boyfriend, sucking his dick or something. Lucky little fucker.

He then attempted Jungkook, once again not gaining a response. Hoseok should've known better, since Jungkook rarely ever responded to his calls or texts.

"Would you hurry up?" The old woman barked.

"I'll just try one more call," Hoseok squeaked, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

Taehyung sprung to his mind. He was very good at answering calls, and very reliable. As much as it freaked Hoseok out from the start, Taehyung's smitten attitude towards the dancer did come in handy at times like these. But the only problem was that Hoseok didn't know Taehyung's number by memory.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to call Taehyung anyway. He was already confused enough around him as it was, he didn't need to be spending any more time than fretting over that pretty boy actor, and his pretty boy smile with his pretty boy chubby cheeks and nose and eyes. Ugh.

"You like him, just admit it already~" Jungkook teased, watching Hoseok do a spin in the practice room. "You talk about him all the time."

"And you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Hoseok stuck his tongue out at the brat. He should've kicked him out hours ago. He was only being a nuisance and a distraction. 

"Come on, just be honest with me for a second. What are your feelings for Kim-what's his name? And don't lie to me, I'll be able to see through your bullshit."

Hoseok scowled at the man sat on the floor, wanting to slap the shit eating grin off his smug face.

"It's Taehyung, you menace, and why would I even tell you in the first place? You're an even bigger brat than Jimin, and that's saying something."

Jungkook pouted. "Because you love me more, and Jimin's too busy worrying about his own love life to care about yours."

Hoseok snorted at him. "Sure, kid. I don't even have that much to say anyway. I barely know the guy. I mean, am I attracted to him? Sure. Does my day feel better when he's around? Yeah. Does he get me in ways that no person ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasise about him? Yes, but only in two positions." He paused, regretting ever letting his word vomit fall out of his big fat mouth. "But do I like him? the answer's no."

Sighing, he dialled the last number he could depend on; his own landline. If his no good roommate was in, he'd possibly be able to convince the tool to come pick Hoseok up…. wherever he is, exactly.

Hoseok promised himself he'd never ask for help from that dick, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He would have to live with a lifetime of shame, but it's better than staying stranded.

He dialled the last number, and it started ringing. Holding his breath, he counted down from ten in his head, praying that his roommate would pick up.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Th-

"Hello?"

Hoseok let out a confused breath. That wasn't his roommates voice.

"Taehyung?"

"Oh, hey hyung!" Taehyung responded to his name cheerfully, smile clear through his voice.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" Hoseok asked cautiously, wondering if he'd befriended a psycho murderer sociopath.

"Your roommate let me in, I only got here ten minutes ago. God, he's a total dick! Nearly slammed the door in my face! You were right hyung, you need a new roommate," he chatted down the line as usual. "I wanted to surprise you, but you weren't here. Actually, hyung, where are you?"

Hoseok rubbed his eyes. "That's a good question, Taehyung. I'm not too sure." He feels his hands go all fidgety again. "I was heading to my sister's on the bus, but I fell asleep and now I have no idea where I am! I have no money left, I think my wallets been stolen, my phones not working so I couldn't call anyone, I had to bother a bunch of old ladies to let me use one of their phones until I got to this hotel and-"

"Woah woah woah, slow down there," Taehyung shushed, hearing the alarm in Hoseok's voice. "You don't need to panic. I'll sort this all out for you, don't worry, okay? Firstly, I want you to take a deep breath. Can you do it with me?"

He snorted."This is stupid," Hoseok mumbled.

"No it isn't. You're panicking and this will help you. Trust me. Breathe in," Taehyung inhales, with Hoseok copying. "And breath out." They both exhale. "Okay, next I want you to ask one of the lovely people at the desk for the hotel name and your location, you think you can do that?"

"Of course, dumbass, I'm not a child." Hoseok rolled his eyes, lowering the phone and turning his attention back to the oh so lovely woman at the desk that Taehyung had described. "Sorry to bother you again, but would you mind telling me where we are?"

The woman looked ready to kick Hoseok out on his butt. "This is Hotel Myeongjeon, and we're in Daesin, central Icheon."

"Icheon?" Hoseok pondered out loud. He wasn't as far out as he thought. He moves the phone back to his head. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, I'm searching it up now," Taehyung asked. "What's your laptop password?"

"Why do you need that?"

"So I can see how far out you are."

"….it's iheartmickey94."

"You mean like Mickey Mouse?"

"No, it's my dog."

Taehyung chuckles on the other line as he types on the keyboard. "You're only an hour away, hyung."

Relief washed over Hoseok instantly, bringing the colour back to his cheeks. Now he didn't have to become a farm boy and live the rest of his days in the boring looking village. 

"I'll call you a cab," Taehyung says.

"But I don't have any money! I lost my wallet, remember?" Hoseok reminded, glancing down at his empty pockets. 

Taehyung make an amused noise. "You haven't lost it, silly. It's on the side right next to me. You just left it behind by accident."

Taehyung was delivering more and more good news by the second. "Taehyung, what would I do without you."

"No need to thank me." He tone sounded proud, and a little flirtatious. "I've got it covered, hyung. Just sit tight and stay where you are. I'll sort it all out for you."

Before Hoseok could ask him what his plan was, how he was supposed to pay for a taxi ride if he has no money to pay the taxi driver with, the phone was viciously yanked from his hand.

"That's enough chit chat, I have customers to deal with, now shoo!" She violently hangs up the phone, and Hoseok wanted nothing more than to say something very rude, but he held himself back. His sister would kick his ass if she ever knew he was disrespectful to his elders.

After bearing through a few more jabs from the old hag, Hoseok turned and left the hotel. Taehyung had told him to stay put, so he sat down on the solid pavement and waited. There wasn't anywhere for him to go anyway, even if he wanted to venture round. The place was completely deserted, looking like a set you'd see from the walking dead. Half the folks around here looked like they belonged from a zombie movie as well.

At first, the wait wasn't so bad. He was able to watch the world go by in peace, and it put his mind at ease for once. It wasn't often Hoseok got the chance to just sit and admire the world around him, never really even caring for it much, but sitting here all alone with nothing but himself and his thoughts to keep him company, it was rather comforting.

Until he realised how bored and fucking hungry he was.

There was only so much bullshit nature and bullshit scenery he could take and pretend that he is actually enjoying for moments in time, until he finally comes to his senses and realises that he could literally poke his eyeballs out for fun and it would be more amusing. That way he wouldn't have to stare at all these miserable farms with their hundreds of ugly sheep any longer.

And then he grew tired. Despite sleeping on the bus, he felt so much more tired when he was sat there doing nothing. His asscheeks hurt from the ground, his body was cold without a thick jacket, his eyes were drooping from fatigue. He'd been practicing so hard recently, more so than usual. Every single day he had been to the studio, not stopping for hours until he physically couldn't dance anymore. That type of hard work was finally catching up to him there in the street.

He wanted to go home. To sleep. To eat. To just…. leave this place.

Honk honk.

His eyes weakly open, adjusting his vision. How long had he closed his eyes for? It was significantly darker now, with the colours in the sky now different shades of pink and purple. He was amazed he even managed to doze off in the uncomfortable spot he's in.

"Hobi hyung!"

Both eyes open wide, shaking his head a little. His eyes have fully adjusted now, the scene before him clear as day. The car that had stopped outside the hotel wasn't a taxi like he had been expecting.

"Hey, did you fall asleep?"

Hoseok looks to his side, where no one other than Taehyung stood, crouched down next to him. 

He starts giggling, poking Hoseok's cheek. "You've got drool on your chin."

Hoseok groans, swatting his hand away. "What are you doing here?"

Taehyung blinks. "I came to get you."

Something in Hoseok's stomach starts to churn at the look on Taehyung's face, and it flutters all around his belly. It feels wild and uncomfortable, but sort of pleasant. He wasn't sure if he'd ever had this feeling in his stomach before today.

"But… what about the taxi?" Hoseok asked.

Taehyung smiled. "I could've paid for it when it arrived back in Seoul, but I knew you would've been panicking over it the whole journey, so I just decided to drive up by myself instead." He bit his lip, sweetly. "Surprise?"

God dammit, this kid was cute. He made Hoseok want to scream into a pillow.

"Let's get you up, then." Taehyung leans up onto his feet, brushing off any dirt that landed on his trousers, and holding out his hand for Hoseok to take.

Hoseok sighed, letting Taehyung pull him up off the ground. His ass started hurting even more after he'd stood up, making him curse under his breath. "You didn't have to come all this way just to get me, Taehyung. That's not your responsibility."

"I wasn't going to just leave you here on the street! You had me worried sick!" Taehyung doesn't let go of Hoseok's hand, cradling it gently. "And besides, I know I didn't have to come all this way, but I wanted to, so that's that." He stuck out his tongue. 

Hoseok didn't know what to say to that. The kid was acting like it was no big deal, driving all this way just to pick up some guy he barely knew and then drive him all the way back, with no ill intentions or expectations from Hoseok either. No one had ever gone to such great lengths for him before, always wanting something in return or hoping for a favour back. It was a foreign feeling. In fact, he was sure he'd never met someone like Taehyung before; someone so selfless and pure hearted.

Taehyung swiped a thumb over Hoseok's hand, resulting in a shiver working it's way up his spine.

"Are you cold?" Taehyung asked, raising both eyebrows.

Hoseok shook his head, but it was a lie. He had been feeling cold for hours now, but the shiver up his spine had nothing to do with the temperature outside.

Taehyung looked skeptical, and quickly let go of Hoseok's hand to shuffle his jacket off. Before Hoseok could protest or whine, Taehyung had slipped the jacket around him and started buttoning it up. "You're freezing. You should've stayed inside," he scolds, fiddling with the collar of the jacket. "At least it's warm in my car."

Hoseok had wondered for a while if he could ever grow to like someone like Taehyung, or if he could ever reciprocate those feelings.

Taehyung had made it clear from the beginning how he felt, where his heart and feelings lie, and yet, he never pushed Hoseok. He waited patiently in the corner, holding out his hand as an offering with a big smile on his gorgeous face, not forcing himself forward and grabbing a hold when Hoseok didn't want it.

Hoseok had thought for the longest time that he wanted Taehyung to push, he wanted Taehyung to fight and to scream and to declare his love with a hundred roses and a marching band with fireworks in the air.

Maybe not so extravagant, but along those lines.

He had thought that he wanted this fairy tale romance, to be swept away on his feet like some noble prince, but Taehyung kept his feet firm on the ground, he kept his head out of the clouds and back down onto earth. This was reality. Taehyung was never going to be able to achieve that far away dream of Hoseok's, but instead he could offer him something else; something much sweeter.

Taehyung turned to his car and started walking towards the vehicle, expecting Hoseok to follow. When he turned his head back around to ask him if he was coming, Hoseok wrapped his arms around Taehyung's neck and placed his lips on top of Taehyung's.

Hoseok's lips were cold and chapped from the weather, but Taehyung's were warm and soft, perfectly smooth for kissing. He stood shocked as Hoseok dived in to kiss him, unable to return the kiss before Hoseok had moved his head away, arms still wrapped around his neck.

Taehyung blinked a couple times, his face looking utterly surprised. "What was that for?"

Hoseok smiled. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Do you think you can say thank you again? Because I didn't quite catch it the first time."

Hoseok rolled his eyes, leaning in once again. Taehyung smiled into the kiss, placing his arms around Hoseok's waist, hands a little daring but not too daring.

Perhaps Hoseok had already grown to like Taehyung, maybe a little more than the prince charming he had dreamed about all his life.

This was good enough for him.

~

"Hey."

Seokjin looks over to Jimin. "What?"

Jimin hesitates. "Can we talk?"

Seokjin raised a brow in confusion. "Sure?"

Jimin shifts his position on the floor to face Seokjin, who in return does the same. A small smile is present in the corners of Seokjin's mouth, eyes looking at him as if they were expecting him to continue.

He's going to turn you down again.

Squeezing his fists tightly on his lap, he forces those voices out of his head. It wasn't true, it couldn't be. Not after the day they'd had together.

That's what you thought last time, and then he left you there in the street, all alone with your heart broken.

They were both scared. Seokjin had already apologised, making it clear how guilty he felt for how that day had ended.

What makes you think he won't do it again?

He returned all of Jimin's kisses, he held him close, fingers kept him warm. He smiled and laughed and lived alongside Jimin. He was going to say yes.

He had to.

Seokjin started chuckling lightly, interrupting Jimin's internal battle within his thoughts. He wasn't looking directly at Jimin anymore, his eyelids closed and wrinkling at the corners as he giggled to himself.

Now Jimin was the one who was confused.

"You have the same expression on your face as Taehyung when I first met him," Seokjin slapped his knee lightly, shaking his head in a cute motion. "He approached me, all nervous and stuttering, asking if he could talk to me about something." He sighed, staring at his lap. "He said he wanted to play a different part, something smaller and more suited to him. You see, this is actually his first major role in a play, so I guess he was a little intimidated by the expectations placed upon him. He was quick to flee and beg for a new role."

"And what did you tell him?" Jimin asked.

Seokjin scoffed. "I told him to deal with it."

That made Jimin suppress a smile. He should've known Seokjin would say something like that.

"He was perfect for the part. I wasn't about to just let him drop out because of a few fears getting in the way! He looked horrified when I said that to him, nearly bursting into tears right in front of me. Good times," He nodded, smiling to himself. "I'm sure if you asked him now, he'd be grateful I never gave up on him."

Jimin didn't have to ask Taehyung to know that, either. From the way Taehyung acted every single day, to his bright and friendly attitude he displayed to Seokjin, showed exactly how grateful he was he was given a second chance to stay.

Seokjin could make anyone stay if he just asked.

He was able to make Jimin stay.

"Oh, God!" Seokjin slapped his head. "I completely forgot to apologise to him for the other day! I can't believe he walked in on us like that."

The reminder of the situation Taehyung had stumbled into made goosebumps stick up on Jimin's skin. His blood pumped just a little faster and his cheeks just a little hotter.

"Actually, hyung….can we talk about that?" Jimin gulped.

"Oh? Um…sure. What about it?" Seokjin's expression also changed at the mention of it, visibly shifting in his crossed legged position across from Jimin.

"So…" Jimin started.

"So?" Seokjin pondered.

"What would've happened if Taehyung hadn't found us?" Jimin asked, internally deciding FUCK IT! No point beating around the bush any longer.

Seokjin stares at him, looking utterly blown away from shock. He opens his mouth, then shuts it again. "You want to know what would've happened?"

Jimin shuts his eyes and nods, finding this whole situation rather strange. Not long ago they were stood on the rails, pretending they were two lovers stuck on a ship, about to crash into a large iceberg. Now, they were talking about the time they almost fucked in the auditorium and got caught.

Seokjin shrugs. "I don't know." His eyes look up at Jimin. "Were you offering a do-over?"

Jimin's breath hitches in his throat, causing him to choke on his own saliva. He snaps his gaze up in the direction of Seokjin's smirk and swallows harshly. His entire body has fallen uncomfortably stiff underneath Seokjin's flirty eyes, and he's quick to divert his own wide brown ones back to his small hands. He thinks taking several shots of vodka couldn't even compare to the way Seokjin's words had taken a toll on his body, making his cheeks burst into flames and his pulse skyrocket. "Ah ha, haa..uhh-"

"Oh god, Jimin, calm down!" Seokjin beckons with wild laughter, lightly shoving his shoulder. "Don't get so nervous. I was just kidding! I thought you could tell the difference between me joking and being serious by now…"

"Psh!" Jimin waves him off with a shaking hand, which he's quick to hide away. "I knew that! I was assuming you knew I was just playing along," he lies miserably, unable to maintain eye contact as he kept his gaze anywhere but Seokjin's. He shuts them in defeat, releasing an exhausted sigh. It was always like this with Seokjin: constantly exposed, never knowing what would happen, always having to be prepared for the unexpected. It was an emotional rollercoaster. He sighs in defeat, of course he was joking-

"But then again…" The air's weight shifts with Seokjin's words, and Jimin's eyes spring open when he feels warm fleeting fingers trace the sides of his face, urging his head up and his full attention on him. His heart goes from zero to sixty beats once the first thing he sees is Seokjin hovering over him. Seokjin's face - more specifically, his lips - are mere inches away from his own, and Jimin doesn't know who's breath he's tasting anymore. Huskily, Seokjin murmurs, "Maybe I don't know when I'm kidding, either…"

The gap between them closes.

Jimin feels in heaven again, like all the other kisses he's shared with Seokjin. His lips are far too soft and the hands on his cheeks are far too warm to be real. He think's he's living a drunken euphoria, and he allows this ignorant bliss to continue. 

He kisses Seokjin back, surrendering to his fantasies, letting them make him feel a certain type of spark that he's never felt before. He lets his greedy hands roam the familiar skin of Seokjin's neck once more, his fingers gently caressing it's warmth and softness. The feeling of kissing Seokjin comes rushing back to his memory like a soldier finally coming home. He feels safe. He's home.

Just when the both of them have spent their last breaths, Seokjin pulls away. They exhale soft, shaky sighs that collide just as their lips had: slowly, carefully. With rosy cheeks and half lidded eyes that match his own, Seokjin removes himself from Jimin.

That's when it hits him.

This wasn't some fantasy Jimin could easily forget when the morning came - this was real. It was all real and it hit him harder than anything had ever hit him before. 

"I…umm," Seokjin whispers, looking down at his chest. He starts shuffling himself away. "I shouldn't have done that…"

Jimin stares into space, raising a hand to touch his lips. They're still moist, still tingling, still lingering with Seokjin's kiss. After moments pass, the sting from reality's slap was the only thing that remained. It marinated itself into the atmosphere like how the fumes of cigars and cigarettes laced themselves into the city air. It remained like a coffee stain on your shirt, like tattoos on your skin, colours in the sky, scars on hearts. 

So he grabs a hold of Seokjin's fleeting hand. 

Before Seokjin can even begin to register the situation, a hand snakes round the side of his neck and the back of his head, and his lips are captured in a gentle kiss. Jimin's touch is feather light, and it tickles Seokjin's stomach with the bat of a thousand butterfly wings. Now its Seokjin who's stunned stiff, having no choice but to surrender to the kiss. However, he doesn't mind. He lets Jimin manipulate his lips to his taste, Seokjin's eyes fluttering shut and muscles relaxing with every millisecond that passes. He hesitantly presses back, and immediately their mouths fall into perfect rhythm with each other.

When Seokjin's hands finally make contact with Jimin's body - one delving itself into his soft blonde locks, the other latching onto his side, the kiss becomes more fervent. Jimin, desperate to feel more of Seokjin, leans him backwards so he almost drapes himself over him. Seokjin's chest arcs into him, fingers pressing into the skin of Jimin's neck and nape just as much. One of Jimin's hands attaches to his cheek, swiping his thumb across the smooth skin under Seokjin's eyes, before tracing down his neck and collarbones. Seokjin moans to this, sending vibrations down Jimin's throat to fill his gut with the same tingling sensation. 

They separate only for a second, just to regain their breaths, and they take that opportunity to gaze into each others eyes.

Seokjin's eyes are a soft kind of brown, the kind that reminds Jimin of home. Warm, and gentle. Soft. And it gives his defined features a soft finish, and that makes him look kind. Innocent, almost, if not for the wild hunger hidden in the depths of his pupils. Like a cup of hot chocolate during the coldest winter night, his gaze is warm. He was pure gold.

Jimin's are dark. Sharp, keen, and crazy beautiful. They tell adventures that Seokjin wanted to go on with him. They were was deep as the ocean, maybe even deeper. They are the attention grabber of Jimin's face. One look at them, and you're lost. They're dangerous that way, how they can capture anybody in their hold and they'll never want to escape. Jimin's eyes are mischievous, teasing…misguiding.

Both pairs of eyes are clouded over with lust. Both pairs of eyes are filled with hope. Both pairs of eyes are searching for answers.

Seokjin pulls their lips back together, entangling and weaving his fingers within his hair as Jimin wrapped his arms around him. Jimin can hear the sound of something other than the wet smack of their lips; something that thrums in his ears. Heartbeats? Whose heart? Jimin can't tell, unable to differentiate anything anymore.

He can't even tell if he's feeling thrilled or terrified by whats happening.

It's like he's ice skating curlicues and eloquent designs into a frozen lake that's slowly melting underneath him. It's like he's being painted a million shades of red with brushes made of silk, but only to feel the colour burn his skin like the fire it represents. It's like he's blossoming underneath the sun's golden glow, his skin tingling with life and joy and beauty, but all he sees around him are withered and brown petals. He's living but dying. Dying but surviving. Surviving but thriving.

Breathing but gasping.

Sitting but shaking.

Heart beating but pounding.

Jimin's teeth graze over Seokjin's bottom lip, causing him to let out a shuddering gasp. Seokjin's hands curl into fists against his scalp, relishing the way Jimin's fingers curled around his waist. Jimin tugs Seokjin into him by the belt loop of his jeans, moaning into the kiss together. 

Seokjin's tongue swipes over Jimin's lips hungrily and unafraid. Jimin opens his mouth, greeting his tongue just as eagerly. Seokjin grips the back of his head and keeps him close, pulls him in closer, kisses him deeper.

Just when Jimin can no longer breath and is about to separate, Seokjin breaks away first only to reattach his lips to a different part of his body. His teeth graze the skin covering Jimin's pulse, a tongue darting out to slick across the targeted area. "Hyung…" Jimin gasps, panting heavily across the shell of his ear. "Hyung, I-"

His voice was lost to the air as Seokjin began to nip and lick more fiercely at the skin of Jimin's jaw. He didn't stop until Jimin knew there was a small, throbbing bruise where Seokjin's lips had been. Seokjin kisses the skin, almost apologetically, before reclaiming Jimin's lips with his own.

"Hyung…"

He's going to turn you down again.

Seokjin's hands traveled under Jimin's jacket, beginning to massage small circles into his sides. Jimin's hands come to rest against his broad chest, shaking ever so slightly with tense nervousness.

It's never going to work.

Seokjin's lips slow down. His hands stop wondering, resting against Jimin's hips. Finally, he separates from him. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Jimin can feel his heart shatter when Seokjin's confused and worried gaze stares straight back. But he couldn't wait any longer. Jimin needed to know.

"Hyung… was today a date?" 

The look on Seokjin's face changed from something worried to an expression Jimin couldn't quite explain.

'It's just…. we've been hanging out so often, going to so many places, just like couples do." Jimin clasped his hands together, shaking ever so slightly with tense nervousness. "And that's not including all the kisses, the hand holding, the text messages. Just look at us right now, for christ sake. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Seokjin hesitantly nodded, licking his lips.

"I just want to know…. what are we exactly?" His voice was weaker that time, a little more unsure;  just as lost and confused as he sounded. His eyes search Seokjin's, looking for the reassurance he needed. But Seokjin doesn't give it to him.

"Why do we need a label?"

I know it isn't fair, that you're scared and confused and you have questions that you deserve answers to, but that's just how it is. I'm sorry…

It was happening again; it was happening and he knew he couldn't stop it. Jimin could feel it in his bones. "What do you mean by that?"

Seokjin barely gives him the time to ask his question. He quickly pushes himself off the ground and away from Jimin, running his hand through his hair. "Everyone want's a label on what they have, but why? It doesn't change anything, or make it better. Labels just ruin everything!" He looks at Jimin with regretful eyes. "What we have…. it's fun, right? It's stress free and we have zero commitments to each other. Why would you want to go and ruin that?"

His tone had shifted completely, almost sounding angry.

"I was only asking-"

"I know what you were asking, and what was implied." Seokjin turned away, shaking his head. "Relationships… they never end well. You either stay together long enough to start hating each other and break up miserably, or you end up marrying, and slowly grow to despise each other until you die."

"That's really how you see them?" Jimin asks desperately, getting up on his feet to match Seokjin's height. "How many relationships do you know have been like that?"

"My mother and my father," Seokjin says, bluntly. "They've spent their whole lives cheating on each other, too lazy to get a divorce and go through all the paper work. They both know what goes on behind the scenes, yet they never confront each other about it. They'd rather live miserably together for the rest of their lives then be free. What kind of a relationship is that? My mother always warned me about them."

Jimin stares into space, letting it sink in. Seokjin had never spoken much about his parents before, or any of his family for the matter. He had to grow up in an environment like that, watching both his parents lie and cheat in front of him, instead of raising him in a loving home.

The more and more Jimin learns about Seokjin's family, the more and more his dislike for his parents grows.

"That's only one relationship. Not everyone is like that," Jimin replies, reaching out his hand. "Do you really think that-"

"What else am I supposed to think?!" He rips his hand out of Jimin's grasp, facing Jimin with distressed eyes. "I'd rather die alone than live like them."

"This is not like your parents relationship!" Jimin bellows, finally boiling over. "Is that what you think will happen? To us? You won't even give it a chance to find out?"

Seokjin pauses his heavy breathing to look at Jimin. It was the same look he gave when he rejected Jimin the first time; a look of regret and pity. "You could do so much better, find someone better…"

Yoongi's words chimed in Jimin's mind, I'm going to tell you now, whatever it is you might want from Seokjin, he won't be able to give it to you. If you're looking for a relationship, it won't work.

"Is that what this is about?" Jimin's voice lowers. "You think you're.. not good enough?"

It sounded hilarious in Jimin's mind; Kim Seokjin think's he isn't good enough for Park Jimin. In his mind, it was the other way around. He should be the one telling Seokjin he's better off with someone else, that he should've left him in the dirt months ago.

"I think you should go…" His eyes were bright red, bottom lip wobbling. "Fuck, I'm screwing you over. Again. I-I don't deserve… you need to-"

"What, Seokjin!" Jimin bursts. "I need to what? What do I need to do? Because that's obviously all I've ever been doing around you - following your goddamn orders."

"That's exactly what I mean!" Seokjin cries. "All this time, I've just been playing with you… but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jimin. I played with your heart and I'm sorry. I turned you down, I made you wait, and I'm sorry. I made you fall for this wild, carefree person who isn't afraid to do anything, and that person doesn't even exist - and I am sorry. You liked me for this made up fairy tale version that I created, and I'm sorry for deceiving you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look at me, Jimin! Is this really someone you could see yourself being with?" He asks miserably, raising his brows expectantly. "Because this is the real me. This is the real Kim Seokjin. I am an irresponsible, selfish, reckless person. I am stubborn, I am immature, and I have a bad habit of acting on impulse. My spontaneity isn't something to admire, it's dangerous and concerning; my refusal to compromise isn't cute, it's childish; my bad habits aren't something to adore, they're unhealthy. I shouldn't have pretended to be someone else for you, someone who makes your heart race and head spin. You should've chosen someone who was committed to choosing you, who could provide you with everything you wanted. I can't do that because I was, and still am, selfish and a coward. I'm never ready for what other people want, because I have things I want to do for myself. I copped out. I don't want to take on the responsibility of caring and supporting someone else. I've been set on living a life where I was the only one in it that I needed to care about, and I…I lead you on, Jimin," he croaks, sounding the most heartbroken Jimin's ever heard him. "I've lied to you, I've ignored you, I've manipulated you, and all I can say is that I'm sorry. I made you suffer while I just sat and did nothing. How despicable is that? I hate myself for doing that to you, and I am forever sorry. I've messed with your heart, I've messed with your head, I messed with your life, your friends, your relationships, and I, I'm sorry Jimin, I'm sorry." Seokjin sends him one last forlorn glance, turning the knob to the rooftop door and already halfway outside. "Sorry, Jimin. I'm sorry."

The door slams shut, the sound echoing off the roof. It makes Jimin's ears pop. He stares at the space where Seokjin had been standing just seconds ago with wide eyes. He stares for a long time.

Finally, he's hit with another slap of reality.