Chapter Text
He’d decided.
There was no point in this, it was stupid.
Why the fuck should the potential of seeing some random ass hero boy he’d sorta started chatting with - and maybe flirted with, at least it lowkey felt like the hero was flirting with him for some reason - keep him away from his favorite place?
It wasn’t like his mentor had died.
Midoriya had confirmed that Eraser would survive, so it wasn’t like Dabi had a reason to be mad at him, right?
Why should he care if he was mad?
Tomura shakes his head with a huff as he marches towards Sako’s place, hands in his pockets. It had been almost a month since he'd been there, and the pale figure had really missed the place honestly. As he steps in the bar however, his earlier determination seems to evaporate into thin air, and he kind of wished he could’ve done so as well.
Well he could, but Tomura didn’t want to show his unease and run away like a fucking coward.
Dabi was there, sitting on his chair, likely on purpose.
He was leaning his back and arms against the counter, looking up at him. His face was as stoic as ever, but Tomura’s hand twitched nervously regardless as he inches closer.
Touya was honestly surprised to see him there finally.
The pale figure hadn’t shown up for the past month in to the bar when he was there, making him wonder if the villain was avoiding him. He’d shook his head dismayed, figuring he was just busy with his villain overlord business.
Why would he give a shit about what he thought, enough to avoid him?
Yet, looking at how tense he seemed, Touya began to wonder if his initial hunch had been correct.
The pale figure stops in front of him, face trained into some sort of annoyed sneer, but Touya could tell he was some level of uneasy. It was a bit strange in all honesty; it was not like he could actually hurt this one, he was far too powerful for him to handle. For a moment, they just stare at each other, and Touya notes there were newer looking scars on his neck. He also looked paler than usual, like he hadn’t gone out in ages.
Eventually, the pale figure breaks the silence, sounding positively annoyed.
”You’re on my seat.”
”I know.”
”Can you move?”
”I don’t know. Care to explain yourself?”
Teeth bury into the dry lower lip as red eyes avert their gaze. Magne and Toga were both watching the pair cautiously; they could tell something was wrong from the first time the redhead had showed up in the bar again after a while. He’d been calm and polite as ever, but they could sense - everyone who got too close could, really - that he was seething on the inside, his body putting out more heat than was necessary.
The fact Shigaraki hadn’t shown up in a while made them wonder.
Had these two had a fight off the premises or something?
”Why should I explain anything to you?”
Shigaraki finally spats out, his hand twitching restlessly, his mind urging him to run, which was frustrating.
Dabi tilts his head to the side, eyes narrowing slightly. There was slight heat that his body was putting out, brushing against Tomura, but it wasn’t comforting this time around.
”I don’t know. My mentor - whom I’ve spoken to you about - almost died. My little brother was put in danger. Why don’t you tell me?”
There was light static in the air, and Tomura felt tiny black sparks dance around him, but he forces it back.
Not in Sako’s bar, he didn’t want to ruin the place.
He didn’t....he didn’t want to do this.
Tomura clenches his fists, then releases a slow sigh as his shoulders slump, and he averts his gaze again.
”The thing that beat him up, I didn’t want it there. Those fuckers had gone behind my back to ask Kurogiri to lend them one.”
Dabi remains quiet, just gazing at him silently, his body still putting off an unusual amount of heat, making Tomura’s skin prickle.
”I wasn’t really interested in it. I full on expected them to get beat up, and they did. The Nomu was...an anomaly I didn’t plan.”
He keeps his gaze away, speaking very quietly. There weren’t many people in the bar right now, but he still knew to be careful about speaking of this stuff. It was kind of ironic though, given he was explaining himself to a hero.
”....You realize if he’d died, I’d probably tried to take you out.”
Something cold grabbed Tomura’s heart - he was surprised he could still feel shit like that with it given it was borderline dead - and his mouth goes dry.
Those words were very quiet, filled with the kind of angry stealth he hated hearing from him.
Yet, it was justified.
”You would’ve died.”
”I know.”
Dabi comments calmly, then pushes himself up, leaving the chair.
Tomura half expects him just to walk away, leave him there with the mess that was going on inside his head right now. Instead, a pair of warm hands cup his cheeks, startling the pale figure as he looks up at the blue eyes burning into him.
He was still putting off a tad too much heat, but the touch was gentle.
”I’m glad I didn’t have to.”
Tomura just blinks, utterly confused, his mind grinding to a complete halt, which was rare.
Dabi seems lightly amused by his reaction given the hint of a smirk appearing on his lips, but he doesn’t laugh, doesn’t make a sound. He just brushes some of his hair aside to see his scarred face properly, his expression kind of relieved, almost.
”I really didn’t wanna be mad at you.”
He admits quietly, thumb caressing the pale figure’s cheek. For a moment they just stand there, looking at each other, and Dabi keeps stroking his face until the tenseness leaves Tomura’s body, and eventually the warm hands leave him, making him miss the warmth instantly.
He then gestures to the seat behind him, and Tomura sits down, joined by the flame hero just a few seconds later.
”To be fair. I heard from some of my brother’s classmates that apparently the villain leading the bunch had not seemed happy about the monster being there, so...I had a hunch. I just needed to hear it from you.”
He pauses, gazing at his glass thoughtfully for a moment.
"In hindsight...perhaps it was for the best you didn't show up for a while. I did need to cool down before I could deal with this, and it tends to take a while."
Blue eyes glance at him with a slightly sad look on them.
"I...don't think I'd been able to listen to you as calmly as I did right now if you'd come around right after what happened."
He admits quietly, taking a gulp from his drink. Tomura just hums at that, keeping the unease the implications of those words caused hidden beneath the surface. He accepts the glass Magne gave him, and she glances between them still concerned, sensing there was some dark implications behind that conversation, even if she hadn't really understood most of it, nor did she really care to understand.
Tomura had always told them to not ask too many questions, he didn't want to drag them into his world.
"It's okay Magne, really."
The pale figure reassures him with a slight huff upon seeing her worried expression.
”Good, Sako was almost certain this was the day we’d have to move premises.”
She jokes for a bit, though still clearly nervous.
”I wouldn’t do that to you guys.”
Dabi chuckles for a bit, taking a gulp from his drink. The night calms down after that, the tenseness between the two dissipating for now.
Still, Tomura couldn’t stop but think about the ’what if’ scenario Dabi's words had brought back to the forefront of his mind again.
If Eraser would’ve died, he probably would’ve been forced to fight against Dabi, and kill him as an obvious consequence.
This was probably the first time he really, really didn’t want to kill someone even a tiny bit.
That night, when he eventually returns to the hideout, Tomura finds Kurogiri standing there, clearly having waited for him. The yellow misty eyes were in a concerned frown, and the man seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to voice it out.
”Young Tomura...”
The boy waves him quiet, pacing towards the man who tenses slightly, unable again to read his mood given the hair hiding his face. The next second, the pale figure slumps his head against his chest, and Kurogiri’s eyes widen in shock and confusion. After a moment of processing it, he gently brings his arms around the boy, giving him a hug first time in years.
For a moment they just stood there, and Kurogiri could feel the boy shift for a bit, releasing a slow sigh from between his cracked lips.
”You need to ask my permission for this kind of thing.”
”I know, you are the leader now. I’m sorry for going behind your back like that. His passing was a surprise to me as well, so I suppose I haven’t really managed to shift my mind-set for—”
Tomura whips his head up, glaring at him with a deep frown on his face.
”Forget about All For One. If you want to do a better job at being my parent or some shit, you fuckin’ LISTEN to me. Your bullshit move almost cost me something.”
Kurogiri looks at him confused, a little surprised to hear the boy use his former mentor’s name instead of the honorifics.
Tomura refuses to explain however, just pushes him away carefully and walks up the stairs, disappearing into his room again.
The next days are easier.
Things almost return to normal.
Tomura’s reclusive tendencies lessen to normal levels, though he still avoids Kurogiri more than he used to, and refuses to explain his words from that day to the man.
He goes to Sako’s routinely again, but won’t answer to any curious questions about what happened between him and Dabi.
That still made his skin itch, thinking about what could’ve happened.
It was so fucked up, yet so typical.
Of course, him kind of liking something meant it would likely be violently torn away from him, that’s what always happened.
Any kind of softness, it didn’t belong into his world.
He was just expecting for the next big incident to happen and drive the hero away from him, make him see him for what he truly was.
Nothing but a monster.
Something that didn’t deserve the company of someone like him.
Yet...
He couldn’t stop glancing at the red haired man beside him, the way he smirked at something he or their bar-running friends said, the sarcastic comments he sometimes threw around, the amused looks aimed at him every now and then. The amusement was different from the cold mockery he was used to.
It felt...fond, in a way, and it was just so strange.
He still didn’t understand why this hero chose to be in his company, chose not to use his knowledge against him despite it being expected from him. What could the hero possibly see in him?
Some sort of hope?
Tomura couldn’t buy that, he was a lost cause.
Dabi should not be wasting his time with him.
”Oi, stop spacing out on me.”
Fingers snap in front of his eyes, startling Tomura out of his thoughts, and he realizes he’d probably been staring silently a tad too long, given how Dabi was looking at him now with amused lift eyebrow, head resting against his palm. Tomura snorts and takes a swig from his straw. It was that same strawberry drink from that other time, though Toga had added extra strawberries in it so it was even sweeter than usual.
”I wasn’t spacing out, I was thinking.”
”Same thing.”
”No, spacing out is the thing you do when your brain short-circuits on you. I never space out, I always think.”
”No wonder you keep complaining about headaches then. Slow down fer a bit will ya?”
Touya chuckles, taking a swig from his glass, blue eyes still focused on Tomura.
The way he was looking at him made a strange shiver run down the pale figure’s spine, and he averts his gaze, focusing on his drink now. He’d begun to see that look more and more often, usually when the hero began to reach his alcohol tolerance limit - the threshold which, when passed, he could be considered as being drunk. It didn’t come easily, for his body burned alcohol really quickly, but Tomura would still notice the slight difference in his behavior.
He didn’t start slurring or laughing like a dumbass.
Rather, his sarcastic remarks quieted down, replaced by some sort of deeper contemplation in his eyes.
That, and he would look at Tomura.
Actually look, the kind of gaze he had seen aimed at him before, but... it felt different.
It wasn’t the same kind of creepy leeriness like with Giran, or what had happened that one time.
It still made him nervous, unsure on how to react to it.
That was probably the biggest thing; he knew how to handle Giran’s perverted glances and comments, he could beat the ever living shit out of any fool who’d try to make advances on him.
He didn’t know what to do with Dabi.
Tomura had attempted to ignore it, he mostly did, but it was getting more and more difficult, because the look would not go away. It was always there, once Dabi started to get tipsy. He didn’t know if it was just the alcohol.
It should be, he wasn’t really attractive by any means.
The only reason that had happened back then was because he’d asked.
No person with half a brain and sanity would ever want to be intimate with him, unless they thought they’d gain something from it.
”Hey....”
The red eyes drift up at Dabi cautiously, and he notes the blue eyes had shifted into something gentler again.
”That’s a nasty frown you got on your face.”
Tomura felt his mouth grow dry again, he didn’t know how to respond. Not under that look. He was a fucking overpowered villain overlord, and he couldn’t even come up with a damned answer when some random underground hero sidekick gave him a look that might’ve implied some things.
It was pathetic.
”Some arrogant schmuck stepped on your toes again?”
”.....Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
Tomura freezes, having not intended to blurt that out loud, but his brain had other plans apparently, turning his own body against him.
Dabi lifts eyebrow at him confused, and Tomura quickly turns his gaze away, feeling his face heat up embarrassingly.
”Like what?”
”I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking.”
”Babe I can’t exactly see my own expression without a mirror, you gotta help me here.”
Tomura blinks, whipping his head around with a glare.
Did he just...?
Dabi smirks at him amused, drinking down rest of his drink before shifting to fill the glass again with what was left of the rum bottle. Tomura only now realizes how much he’d drank. Normally he didn’t pay attention to it, but thinking back on it, tonight he’d definitely taken more than usual. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, he hadn't come off like he'd been more upset or anything. It was...weird.
”So what kinda look are we talkin’ about here?”
He lifts his glass towards the pale figure, the amused smirk still on his lips, and Tomura had a moment of bizarre internal struggle where he couldn’t decide if he wanted to smack Dabi for calling him ’babe’ out of blue without permission, or grab his collar and tug him closer.
Shit, now that he thought about it, he might’ve drank more than he intended too, following Dabi’s pace without realizing it.
”That. It’s...it’s weird.”
He gestures towards the young hero vaguely, who just sips from his glass, still looking directly at him. Tomura began to feel like the redhead knew perfectly well what he meant, and was just messing with him, trying to make him say it out loud.
Normally, it would’ve pissed him off and earned a beating, but...this was Dabi.
It was different for some reason.
”Why is it weird?”
The sudden softness in the hero’s voice catches him off-guard, and for a moment Tomura just looks at him, not knowing what to say.
”......Nobody looks at me like they want to fuck me without any ulterior motives.”
He finally tells the hero bluntly, turning his red eyes away back into his glass, seeing his reflection slightly from the surface, colored red by the liquid in it.
That’s what it always was.
Anyone who’d ever shown that kind of interest, they always wanted something, a favor. He’d been so pathetic, so touch-starved he’d let people use him like that, and that man...he’d just let them. He’d let them do that, excusing it with him being allowed to make his own decisions in life, when in truth all it was, was manipulation.
Bit of sparks dance around him again, and the hand resting on the table twitches, itching to grab something to destroy it now.
A hand suddenly lands on top of his, and Tomura looks up startled, finding the blue eyes on him again. They’d gone kind of stoic, no longer showcasing the hints of desire in them. For a moment Dabi just looks at him silently, then shifts away from his seat, still holding his hand.
”C’mon, let’s dance.”
”Why?”
”Been a while.”
The pale figure was so confused that he lets Dabi bring him there, and they sway slowly to the music, Tomura being careful with his hands as he held onto his companion. He didn’t mind the closeness one bit, but was still confused why he’d suddenly asked to do this.
”.....I should’ve guessed that.”
The soft voice murmurs in his ear, and he looks up to meet the blue eyes, looking down at him with a solemn expression.
”You do come off like somebody who’s never had anyone show them proper care much.”
Tomura averts his gaze, not really wanting to talk about that. He knew that, he knew his upbringing was fucked up. He’d realized it around the time All For One’s health had begun to deteriorate and he hadn’t really known what to do with himself or how to react to it.
”Tomura, look at me.”
He stops, entire body growing stiff as he hears those quiet words.
No one was near them to hear it so that wasn’t really an issue.
It just... it felt strange hear him utter out his name out loud after refraining from doing it for so long. Slowly, he turns his gaze to the blue eyes, feeling another warm shiver run down his spine as a hand gently presses against his cheek, brushing aside some loose strands from his face.
”There’s nothin’ I could possibly want from you, but you. Even that is kind of foolish given our circumstances. I don’t gain anything from using you like that, other than probably putting myself at greater risk.”
His words were quiet, serious, and the other hand that had previously rested on his hip lightly had slid around his waist, bringing the pale figure closer against the quirk warm body. Tomura just looks up at him with widened eyes, unable to really process those words.
”I’m not stupid enough to think for a second, that gaining your favor is gonna give me influence over you or whatever shit you might be thinking right now in that chaotic head of yours. That it’s gonna save my ass if I do something to piss you off. You’re far too powerful for that.”
Tomura almost wanted to laugh, because... because really, he was not.
He had power to destroy anything that hurt him, but he usually let them hurt him before destroying it.
He was too weak in that sense, to push away temptations despite knowing he would get hurt.
The momentary satisfaction he’d get, he always thought it was worth the pain afterwards, because he could destroy the cause of it anyway, before it could really do too much harm.
That’s how it had always been.
He’d forgotten the faces of those that had been slain afterwards, once their presence began to bother him too much. All For One had the audacity to get rid of any bothersome folks that he’d previously allowed to get close and personal with his supposed heir.
The hypocrisy was hilarious.
Apparently some of his dark thoughts escaped into his face, as Dabi lifts his other hand to his cheek as well now, giving him a very serious stare.
”I mean it. I get you might find it difficult to believe, but I’m not the kind of bastard who does that.”
”Of course not. You’re a hero.”
”Fuck that for a second! This has nothing to do with me being a hero.”
Dabi’s voice doesn’t really grow louder, but it does intensify, making Tomura close his mouth with wide eyes, slightly spooked now. Something was tugging at the back of his head, something dangerously close to hope.
”Even if I was a villain, even if I was the most cold-blooded, insane fucking murderer, I’d still say the same thing to you. I’d still mean it. I only want you for you.”
Tomura just stares at him, unable to form words in his head. The previous, slight itch in the back of his head had grown into something much more noticeable, and he felt his body begun to shake now. Dabi notices it, releasing a slow sigh as he brings him closer, allowing the pale figure to hide his face against his chest for a moment.
Warm hand mingles into the light blue locks, just combing through them gently as he waits for Tomura to gather himself.
”Why? Why would you bother?”
Tomura finally mumbles out, not lifting his head away from the warm chest as he spoke.
”You know what I am. You know what I can do, what I have done. Why would someone like you ever want to be near me?”
Dabi remains quiet for a moment, and Tomura shivers lightly as he feels the warm lips brush against his scalp. It was so alien to him, the gentleness in the touch, but he shamelessly liked it, so much so it almost made him cry.
”It’s precisely because I probably know you better than most.”
”What?”
Tomura blinks confused, looking up at him, a bit startled at how close they were to one another now. Dabi just smiles lightly, keeping the warm hand mingled into his hair.
”There are all these rumors about you, Shigaraki Tomura, but from what I’ve seen, most of it isn’t true per say. The power is there yes, but I somehow doubt your heart is rotten like that. You seem more lost than villainous to me, someone who doesn’t know where his place is in this exhausting fucking world, someone who was told one thing their entire lives, only to discover it was bullshit to some extended afterwards.”
For a moment the red eyes just stare at him in shock. He'd done a lot of that this evening.
”I can tell, because it’s exactly how I feel. I was brought up thinking that shit was simple; that heroes are good, and villains are bad, yet the person who made me do this to myself...”
Dabi gestures to the scars on his arms, covering his other shoulder.
”It was a hero.”
Tomura had kind of guessed that, given how Dabi sounded when he mentioned his dad, he’d assumed Endeavor was indeed the secret problem in the family, but it was a whole other thing hear him state it out loud.
”Does this seem like something a fuckin’ hero does? Drivin’ their own kid to the brink of insanity?”
The rueful chuckle leaving his lips could’ve been mistaken for the laugh of a villain at that moment, and it actually bothered Tomura a little bit.
He lifts his hand cautiously, brushing his fingers against the edge of the burn, his face in a contemplative frown.
”No. It’s what a villain does.”
”Exactly. Yet they hail the old man as the number two hero. It’s so amusingly disgusting I’m surprised I’m still at least partially sane.”
Tomura remains quiet, processing what he’d just been told, his eyes still fixated on the burn on Dabi’s shoulder-blade.
”So my point is...”
A hand slips under his chin, lifting it to make the red eyes look up at the blue pair again.
”I look at you like you’re the most gorgeous fuckin’ thing I’ve seen ’cause I genuinely think so.”
The fervent tone he was using did things to the pale figure, and he licks his lips almost nervous now, glancing at Dabi’s lips.
Should he really believe him?
Did it matter if it was true or not?
Should it matter?
Suddenly, the redhead apparently loses some of his usual patience, be it alcohol or something else, as he suddenly leans closer, breath brushing over Tomura’s lips.
”Let me show you what I mean babe.”
Unlike last time, the nickname doesn’t irritate him as much as it sends a warm shiver down the pale figure’s spine, and whatever resistance he’d still had breaks, as he allows Dabi to close the gap between them, slanting their lips together.
It was probably the softest kind of touch he’d ever experienced, nothing like the previous times something like this had happened.
He shivers visibly, clinging to Dabi’s coat with his hands, keeping one finger away to not destroy it.
Sensing his shakiness, Tomura could feel the fire user walk him backwards, until he was pressed against his warm body and the wall behind them. It was all still very gentle, he didn’t really trap him there, giving him a chance to push him away if he wanted. It wasn’t even that he needed to do that, Tomura could be pinned against a wall by a guy the size and strength of a fucking Nomu and he could still kick them off him.
Still, Tomura really...appreciated it.
People didn’t usually take his wants into accordion, never really paid much mind to his comfort.
Yet, there he was, being kissed by a pro-hero of all people, who was making sure he was comfortable with what was happening, and it wasn’t out of some sort of heroic obligation.
At least, Tomura hoped it wasn’t.
When they part, he was panting heavily now, his face flushed bright red. Blue eyes burn into him, looking at him with that look again, except it was thousand times more intense now.
Tomura parts his lips, but no sound came out.
He didn’t know what to say, what he wanted to say.
A sound interrupts the kind of heated moment, and Dabi frowns a bit, bringing up his phone while remaining close to the flustered young man. He looks through his phone, releasing a slow sigh after a moment.
“It’s Eraser. He wants to see me tomorrow.”
“….Oh.”
That was all Tomura could really say.
The redhead sighs again and sends a response, slipping the phone back into his pocket as he looks at Tomura slightly dismayed.
“I hafta go if I want to have a chance to not appear hangover tomorrow once he shows up. I'd rather not have him start fretting over me when he's still recovering.”
The pale figure just nods, averting his gaze down to his feet now.
He felt a bit puzzled, like he’d just woken up from a pleasant dream, and was quite frankly dismayed about the interruption. Yet, perhaps….perhaps it was for the best if Dabi left for now. He needed time to process this.
"See you around, Tomura."
The fire user whispers suddenly, kissing his forehead before heading out of the bar.
Shigaraki just watches him go, then walks back to the counter, ignoring the slightly shocked and curious looks from his companions.
That night, when he comes home, he says nothing to Kurogiri, just climbs to his room, slumping to the bed to hug his pillow.
The strange, fluttery feeling in his stomach wouldn’t stop.