Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

My name is Mindy. Well, it's really Melinda, but everyone calls me Mindy. I'm not going to tell you my last name, because there are still people out there who would hurt me. Maybe. It's been two years since the end of the war, and I'm thirteen years old now. I became a Controller when I was eight, and my Yeerk, Milnis (but I call her Millie) is still in my head. That makes some people angry. That I would choose to become a Controller, but also that I am still one. They say that voluntary Controllers are the worst of all. Even though Millie is my best friend.

Even though hurting voluntary Controllers is officially a hate crime, there are still a lot of people who would risk it. Maybe not now, since I'm only thirteen, but then again, some people hate Yeerks so much that they wouldn't care.

So, even though I'm going to tell my story to the world, I'm not going to give out my last name. In fact, my name might not even be Mindy. My Yeerk, Milnis might be a pseudonym.

Then again, maybe these are our real names. It shouldn't matter to you, really, because it's the same story all the same.

I was eight years old when I joined The Sharing. My mom thought it would be a good way for me to make friends, so when she heard about it from one of her friends, she said that she wanted me to go to a meeting.

"Just one," she promised. "Just give it a chance. If you don't like it, you don't have to go back."

It was true that I didn't have a ton of friends at school. A lot of the other girls didn't like me because I was smart and always knew the answers. But I was pretty, too. Not the child model kind you saw in magazines, not like how Rachel the Animorph must have looked at my age. Still, I looked like a regular pretty kid. I had long brown hair and light brown eyes. I wasn't overweight, and my face didn't have freckles. My eyesight was good enough that I didn't have to wear glasses to see the blackboard at school. I didn't have big front teeth. And since I wasn't super nerdy, at least in class, my classmates couldn't say I was a geek or a nerd or anything like that.

Sometimes, I wonder if I would have had more friends if I had acted like the other girls my age. Maybe, if I had tried harder to wear the cool clothes that they did, or wear my hair the way that they did, they would have liked me more. No one teased me, exactly, but no one really wanted to be my friend. I was the kind of kid who would read a library book at lunch, and not care that I was sitting by myself.

I was always very imaginative. This could have got me in trouble at school, because I understood things quickly, and would doodle in my workbook. Except, when my teachers would ask me a question to "catch me off guard"--as my dad put it--I always knew the answer. After a few times of this, the teachers mostly left me alone. Even if I wasn't paying attention all the time, I got the right answers on the homework and tests, and I wasn't doing anything to distract my classmates.

When I daydreamed, mostly, I thought about other planets. Science was my favorite subject, but not just any kind of science. Astronomy. My dad had worked for NASA for as long as I could remember, and I guessed I got my love of outer space from him. He had this big telescope that we would use to look at the stars, and he told me all about galaxies and solar systems. I read anything I could about outer space, even stuff that people would say was too hard for an eight year old to understand. I liked to imagine going to other planets in a spaceship, even though I knew that humans had only gotten as far as the moon. In my mind, I would meet creatures from other planets, but I would always come back home at the end of my daydream. Because, even though I loved outer space, I knew that Earth was my home.

Anyway. I went to the Sharing meeting, and even though there were other kids there, I was definitely the youngest. But, there were a few kids who were probably in middle school, and they were playing this video game that involved spaceships and giant alien blobs, and it looked really cool. My mom didn't believe that kids should play video games, so I just stood there for awhile, watching them.

"You want to play?" One of them asked me.

I shook my head. "I don't know how."

"It's easy. I'll show you."

I wasn't very good at it, but I had a good time. All of the other kids cheered me on, gave me tips. I was kind of disappointed when it was time to go, and I knew that I'd be back.

We did other things at The Sharing, of course. We went to the beach, had barbecues. Even went to amusement parks. After I had been going for about a month, Lisa, who was one of the adults there, took me aside and asked me if I wanted to become a full member.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Well, you're an associate member now, so you can participate in all the cool things we do. But if you become a full member, you can plan them, as well. And you will be given more responsibility. You can help your community more," she explained, smiling.

I nodded. "That sounds cool. But I have to ask my parents."

"Of course, Mindy," she reassured me. "And, don't worry, there's no rush. We love having you at Sharing meetings!"

I beamed. "I love going to them! And I'll definitely ask my parents tonight about becoming a full member."

It wasn't hard to convince them. Mom and Dad (well, Mommy and Daddy, as I called them back then) were really happy that I was becoming more outgoing. That I was making friends my own age.

"We're thrilled that you want to become a full member, Mindy," Mommy said, and Daddy was nodding. "But we think you should take a few days to think it over, and ask other full members about what it's like. Also, if it gets to be too much, with school next year, ask if you can go back down to being an associate member."

This made sense, and I agreed to do all of this before saying yes to becoming a full member.

I did think it over. I was good at thinking about things. Daddy always said that I had a very logical mind, which made me especially good in math and science in school. He and Mommy both said that I took after them in that way. Of course, I had a very vivid imagination, but I wasn't one of those kids who daydreamed in school instead of paying attention in class.

All I knew about being a full member was that they spent more time at The Sharing. Also, like Lisa said, I would get to plan events if I became one. Well, help to plan events. So, this meant that I would be attending more meetings, and maybe make friends with full members that way. I thought the full members were especially nice to us associate members. Since there was no reason not to do it, except that it would mean having to commit more time to it, I decided to go ahead with it.

My parents weren't surprised when I told them about this a few days later.

"I thought about it a lot, and I definitely want to become a full member," I told them at dinner. "Is that okay?"

They both agreed that it was a good idea.

"You're always so happy when you come home from a Sharing event," Daddy told me. "Not as happy as when we use my telescope, but it's close!" He paused, mock serious. "Do you think you'll still have time for star gazing with your old dad?"

"Oh, definitely!" I told him, running up and giving him a hug, which, of course, he returned.

I told Lisa the next day that I wanted to become a full member.

"That's wonderful, Mindy! We can change you over to full member today, if you want," she offered.

"Sure," I said, smiling. "What do I have to do? Sign some papers?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. There's...sort of a ceremony involved. We need to have another full member present, and it takes place in another room," Lisa told me, a little vaguely. "Once this meeting is over, I can ask Ruby to be the other member."

"What are we going to do today?" I asked Lisa. "For the meeting, I mean."

"We're having board games. Next week, though, we'll be going to the planetarium. I understand that you like learning about outer space?"

"I love it," I told her, enthusiastically. "My dad works at NASA, and he taught me a lot about planets and stars and galaxies. We even have our own telescope that we use to find nearby stars."

I wanted to say more, like which stars I could locate, but I didn't want to sound like I was bragging.

She just laughed. "I think you'll especially appreciate the planetarium once you become a full member! Okay, you better join the others, now. We're about to get started."

I went back to my group, but I had trouble concentrating on the game. Fortunately, my group was playing Scrabble in pairs of three, so it didn't matter too much. I just kept looking at the clock, counting down the minutes until the end of the meeting, when I would officially become a full member.

As promised, Lisa approached another woman after everyone had cleaned up the games and put them away. She asked if anyone else wanted to become full members, but no one seemed interested. I was kind of glad-it would just be me joining that day.

"This is Ruby," Lisa introduced me. "She's going to be there with us when you become a full member."

"Why?" I asked.

"We like to have two adults present," Lisa explained.

I shrugged. "Okay. Hi, Ruby."

Ruby smiled at me. "Hi, Mindy. Lisa's told me a lot about you."

They led me into another room that I had never seen before. It was pretty normal looking, but there was something covered on the table, and one of the chairs had straps on them.

"What's on the table?" I asked, starting to approach it.

Lisa took my arm, not harshly, but her hold was enough to make me stop walking.

"Sorry," I said, looking down.

"Don't worry. You'll understand soon enough," she told me, kindly.

The two of them gave me this talk about how The Sharing was helping everyone in the community, and that full members had to be prepared to make sacrifices for the greater good. I tried my best to listen, but I didn't understand much of it.

Ruby must have noticed, because about five minutes into the talk, she stopped.

"Lisa, maybe, we should just cut to the chase," she suggested. "I know it's not in the script, but we don't have a lot of kids become full members."

Lisa gave me a long look. Not like she was angry or anything. Just like she was studying me. I sat up straighter in my chair.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she finally agreed.

"Do you want to? She's your sister, after all," Ruby pressed.

"Huh?" I asked. "We're not sisters."

Lisa acted like I hadn't spoken. "Sure. Okay," she told Ruby. To me, she said, "You see, Mindy, Ruby and I aren't exactly human. We look human, but we're actually aliens."

I started to laugh. "Yeah, right."

"It's true." She glanced at the table, then away from it. "We're an alien race called Yeerks. We are what you humans would call 'parasites', but the term isn't entirely correct. We don't actually harm our hosts, we just live inside them."

"Hosts?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, the way I did when I was confused.

"Bodies," Lisa explained. "My true name is Ilniss three-five-four, but because I'm living in Lisa's head, you don't see me."

"How did you get there?" I asked, peering at her.

"Through her ear, same as me," Ruby told me, gently. "I'm Leetat seven-four-one."

I kind of wanted to leave then, convinced this was all a joke, but then my eyes focused on the table. "Is that where the Yeerk is?"

"Yes," Ruby confirmed, not moving from her seat, "and then you will be a full member."

"So, once you put the Yeerk in my head, I'll be a...host? To the Yeerk?" I asked.

"That's right. Milnis six-four-two, the Yeerk we have picked out for you, will enter your ear and go into your head," Lisa told me, gently. "Do you have any other questions?"

"Um, yeah! Tons!" I told them, my voice rising in excitement.

Ruby glanced at me, then seemed to remember something, and looked at her watch. "Oh! I only have an hour before I need to leave for my feeding."

"I'm sure it won't take that long," said Lisa-well, Ilniss-as she put a hand on my shoulder. "Besides, you have to remember that humans have never seen alien life, or, not most of them. Of course, she's going to have questions about us."

Ruby nodded, softening. "Of course, Mindy. We'll tell you whatever you need to know."

The first thing I wanted to know was what a Yeerk looked like, but since they weren't offering that information, I figured I should build up to it.

"Thanks. Um, so, once this Yeerk is in my head, then what? Do I talk to her? Does she speak for me, when I want her to?" Something else occurred to me. "Wait. Am I speaking to aliens now, or to Lisa and Ruby?"

"Ruby and I share control, but right now, it is her Yeerk speaking," Ruby--or her Yeerk--told me.

"It's both of us," Lisa explained. "Mostly Ilness, but Lisa does add in her input."

I nodded, baffled. Also, it occurred to me that I didn't know if either of them was telling the truth about who was speaking. I'd have to figure out a way to test that out...

"After you become a full member, and once Milnis has connected to your brain, she will have full access to your mind and body," Lisa continued. "You will be able to speak with her, in your mind, and she will be able to speak with you. Internally, of course. No one will hear the conversation."

"So, I won't be able to use my body after she's there?" I asked, trying not to let my voice get shrill.

I'd kind of guessed that when they spoke about their Yeerks talking. I'd hoped that they would say that the Yeerks wouldn't be able to do anything, that they would just sit back and the real humans would do everything.

Lisa squeezed my hand. "When she makes the first connection to your mind, yes. It will feel strange, at first. After some time, though, it will become second nature. And then, after she's fully connected to your mind, she'll be able to let you move on your own."

"Ilniss is right," Ruby told me. "There will be times that she will need to use your body. We call it being in control. But, it's by no means all the time."

I still felt a little sick at the idea of an alien using my body, but the idea of an, a real live alien, living in my head? That part sounded kind of cool. Still...

"Does it hurt, when she enters my ear?" I asked the Yeerks.

"Only a very small amount," Ruby told me. "Mindy, have you ever had a cavity?"

I shook my head.

"What about a shot?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, I've had those," I replied, wrinkling my nose a little.

"You know how it first hurts, but then it stops after a few seconds?" Lisa continued.

"Sure. It only really hurts in the beginning," I recalled.

"Exactly. Well, it will like that when Milnis enters your ear. Maybe not even as much as a shot. There will be a small amount of pain, but we Yeerks use painkillers, from our body, to numb the ear. After the painkiller sets it, it doesn't hurt at all."

"Okay, but what about when she moves around in my brain? You know, after she goes into my head?" I asked.

Ruby paused, as though she was listening to something. Well, maybe she was. Maybe the Ruby inside her mind was telling the Yeerk something.

"Ruby, my host, says it doesn't feel like anything when I move from her ear canal to her brain. Aside from the immediate lack of control, but that doesn't hurt."

"Will Milnis stay in my head forever? Does she leave to, like, eat or go to the bathroom or sleep?" I asked, watching Ruby and Lisa's reactions.

"Every three days-really, two and a half-Milnis will leave your head completely to swim in a giant pool. That's where Ruby will be going in about forty-five minutes. You see, Mindy, Yeerks need a special type of food, called Kandrona rays. You know how plants receive nutrients from the sun?" Lisa asked me, and I nodded, remembering this from science class. "It's much like that, for us. We receive all of the nutrition we need when we swim in the pool that the Kandrona shined on. We remain there for a couple of hours, and at this time, Milnis will not be in your head. You'll wait nearby, and when she's had enough rays to satisfy her for the next couple of days, you will be called back, and she'll enter your head again."

I glanced at the table. "Can I see what she looks like?"

Ruby and Lisa exchanged glances again before nodding. "Follow me," Ruby said, and Lisa held my hand.

Ruby lifted the cover, and I saw a tank with what looked like a large slug inside. I jumped back.

"A slug? You're going to put a slug in my ear?" I nearly yelped.

Lisa turned me around and held both of my shoulders, gently. "I know, Mindy. It seems very...distasteful. But that's what we look like in our natural forms. Don't be misled, though. We're a lot more intelligent than human slugs."

To be honest, gross was more what I had been thinking, but even at age eight, I knew that saying this to an alien--or anyone with an alien inside their head--would probably sound rude.

"Does everyone in The Sharing have an alien in their head?" I asked.

"All of the full members do, yes," Lisa told me. "That's what makes you a full member."

So, The Sharing was really an alien organization. Weird. But not in a bad way.

"Are there others? I mean," I clarified, "other groups that are for aliens to live inside human heads?"

"Not that I'm aware of, at least on this side of the world," Ruby laughed, and Lisa grinned.

I nodded. "So, I let the alien go into my head, and then I become a full member? And she's there for the rest of my life?"

"Probably not your entire life," Lisa corrected. "You might get another Yeerk after a few years. Leetat? How long have you had Ruby as your host?"

"One year and three months," Ruby replied. "And you?"

"Nearly two years. Neither of us are likely to get a new host anytime soon, since most humans are..." She trailed off.

"Unless you're an extremely powerful or well known human, promotions after a Yeerk receives a standard human are fairly rare," Ruby explained. "You're young, of course, so a Yeerk might want to move to an adult and seek promotion-"

"Not Milnis," Lisa corrected.

Ruby shrugged. "Anyway, you're likely to be her host for awhile."

I noticed something, just then. Ruby and Lisa were talking, but it seemed to be their Yeerks who were doing all of the speaking. Did they-as humans-ever get to speak? Or move? Outside of the time that the Yeerks ate in the Yeerk Pool. How could I know what the two of them thought about it?

"You can leave your humans when you don't have to eat in the Yeerk Pool, right?" I asked them.

They nodded.

"Before I agree, I want to speak to one of them. I mean, Lisa or Ruby without their Yeerks." As they both raised their eyebrows in surprise, I explained, "Look, I'm talking to you both as aliens, right? I need to know what they think about you guys living in their heads. I need to ask them questions, so I know what I can expect."

"And then you'll become a full member?" Lisa asked me.

"Probably," I told her. "The idea of an alien slug in my brain kind of creeps me out, but it's also cool. Having an alien to talk to, you know?"

They seemed a little relieved by this. I could see Lisa relax, and Ruby smile, really smile, at what I said.

"You do it," Ruby told Lisa. "Milnis is your sister, and besides, Ruby's not that great at explaining things to kids."

Lisa glanced at the tank. "All right, but if it takes more than a few minutes, put me in there with Milnis. I don't want to start to dry up."

Ruby shuddered. "Of course, Ilniss."

I didn't know what to expect, exactly. Lisa looked completely normal as the Yeerk left her head, and I noticed that the slug was extremely long and flat when it came out. It seemed to resume its regular shape-or at least, it looked like the one in the tank-in a few seconds. Lisa put her hand to her ear and cradled her Yeerk in one hand, stroking it with the other.

She gave me a warm and reassuring smile. "Hello, Mindy. I know that 'we' have spoken before, but as it was mostly Ilniss...anyway, it's nice to speak to you in person."

"Hi," I said, suddenly feeling shy.

"This must be quite a surprise for you," Lisa continued. "You're handling it well."

I shrugged, then looked at the floor. "I'm kinda scared," I admitted.

"That's completely normal," Lisa reassured me, laughing a little. "It's not like we see aliens very often. Except on TV."

I managed a smile. "What's it like?" I asked. "With, you know, her?"

"She's very kind," Lisa told me. "As you can tell, she has the use of my body...but not all the time. During Sharing meetings, of course, and some of the day. But I'm what's known to the Yeerks as voluntary-that is, I want her in my head. I have what they call 'control', which is when I have full use of my body, for a large portion of the day. Less if The Sharing requires her to use it, and more if there are no Sharing events or duties. You can certainly expect to be given a fair amount of control from Milnis once she's in your head."

"When she's there and in control...what's that like? Can you still feel your body?" I pressed.

"Yes, as acutely as if she wasn't there, or was giving me control. Most Yeerks with voluntary humans operate this way. It's called 'loose control'. Your Yeerk is operating your body, but you still feel everything. The more traditional method of control for a Yeerk is..." She trailed off.

"My host says she feels her senses less acutely," Ruby offered. "When I operate her body, like I am doing now. A bit like how your hands feel when you touch something, but are wearing gloves."

I frowned. "Who wants that?"

"It has its advantages," Lisa told me. "Suppose you're hungry, or not feeling well. Or, you've scraped your knee after you fell down. You wouldn't want to feel all of that as much as you would, right?"

"I guess not. But that doesn't happen very much," I added. "So, um...how often will she be in control of my body?"

Lisa smiled again at me. "Well, that depends on her job. If she's going to spend a lot of time looking for aliens for others, which is unlikely given your age, a fair amount. I wouldn't want to speak for her, but from what I know of my sister, you can expect to have a lot of time using your body."

"Of course, she'll still be there," Ruby added.

"What about when I'm asleep?"

"Yes, which can be very helpful. Ilniss monitors my dreams, and she can remember ones that I forget. Yeerks sleep as well, but they need far less than we do. So, they're more in tune with your sleep patterns."

"What happens if we're both sleeping and I wake up suddenly? Am I paralyzed until she wakes up?" I asked, frightened.

Lisa put an arm on my shoulder, shaking her head. "No, honey. Even if you were both asleep when your mind was awoken from a dream, this would trigger Milnis awake as well. The neurons your mind fire would wake her up."

"That's assuming that she was in control at the time you fell asleep," Ruby added. "A lot of voluntary hosts, including mine, prefer for this not to be the case. So, if you had a powerful dream and woke up suddenly, you would be in control by default."

"That's a relief," I said, managing a smile. I had an image of myself unable to move, while Milnis was happily sleeping on. I was glad to find out this wouldn't be the case. I took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

They both smiled, looking relieved. Lisa glanced down at her alien-her Yeerk. "We could do it at the same time," she offered. "Would you like me to hold your hand?"

I nodded. "Please."

Ruby went over to the tank and retrieved Milnis. As soon as she was a few feet away from me, I spoke up again.

"Can I do it myself? Like Lisa?"

Ruby gave me a once over. Or, rather, my hands. "Let's make sure you don't drop her, first."

I glanced at Lisa to see how she was holding her Yeerk, and then held my hands out in a sort of bowl shape, determined to copy her. As Ruby put my Yeerk in my hands, I was glad that I had watched Lisa. The feeling of slime was enough to make me drop my Yeerk and want to run to the nearest sink. But, I didn't.

Satisfied, Ruby smiled at me. "Good job. Okay, on the count of three, then?" At our nod, she said, "One, two, three."

I held my Yeerk to my ear, and felt the slimy sensation move from my hand to my ear. I tried not to wrinkle my nose at this. Anyway, soon I was distracted by pain of Milnis entering my ear. My eyebrows probably shot up, and Lisa squeezed my hand.

"Mindy..it only hurts for a minute," she told me, as her Yeerk was starting to disappear into her own ear.

As soon as she had finished saying that, the pain had vanished, replaced by a feeling of numbness.

"Keep holding my hand?" I asked, turning to her.

"Of course," she promised, squeezing it.

For a minute or so, nothing happened. I mean, I could still feel my body, and was pretty sure I could move everything. But, even though the pain of my Yeerk entering my ear was gone, I definitely felt her move forwards into my brain. But, like I said, it didn't hurt.

I took a deep breath, and waited.

I felt my body start to...slip away from me a few seconds after that. It was sudden, but in pieces. Like, I knew that my left leg was now being controlled by Milnis. Then, my right hand. Not the arm, though, just the fingers. For a minute, I tried to keep track, but it was scary to think about, so I just took another deep breath and tried to relax.

As she moved further into my mind, I could feel her presence. Kind of. I didn't think she was aware of me, yet, but I could definitely feel some emotions that weren't mine. Excitement, mostly. A little bit of worry, but that could have been mine as well. Wonder. That was a big one.

And then, suddenly, it was like I had been pushed into a corner of my head. Not that this hurt or anything, but it was like the individual parts of my body that were no longer mine suddenly became my entire body.

I felt the Yeerk using my eyes, flexing my arms. She squeezed Lisa's hand...whether to reassure me or because they were sisters...I don't know.

I felt scared. Overwhelmed. Even though Ruby and Lisa had walked me through this, it was one thing to know what would happen and another to experience it. Part of me wanted to scream, to panic, to try to run. All of which, I knew, would be impossible, because Milnis was in charge of my body.

Then, I felt her presence in my mind. It felt...gentle. Concerned. I tried to reach out to her.

(H-hello?) I spoke tentatively. (Can you hear me?)

Chapter Text

My name is Milnis six-four-two, of the Hett Simplatt Pool. Yes, the same pool as Aftran Nine-Four-Two. While not of the same three grubs, she is, however, a cousin.

Up until now, I had infested two hosts. The standard Gedd, which nearly all Yeerks receive for their first assignment, and later, after my first promotion, a Taxxon. Both hosts had physical limitations, of which I had been warned about beforehand. The Gedd had evolved with uneven legs, so they walked hunched over. Their vision was very dim, but the contrast from being nearly blind in the Yeerk Pool to having eyes was a true wonder. My memory of having sight for the very first time-which was, of course, with a training Gedd and restricted to a mere fifteen minutes-was one I will never forget. The Gedd I had infested as my first assignment had the similar dim vision as the training one. But my duties back then did not require much in the way of eyesight. Moreover, since Gedds were native to our home planet, and we had utilized them as hosts for countless generations, most were what we later referred to as "voluntary". They might experience some fear during the initial infestation, but most Yeerks were able to calm their mind without resorting to unsavory methods reserved for more intelligent hosts who resisted. My Gedd had been used as a host since childhood, and he welcomed my presence.

The Taxxon host, or at least his body, was more challenging. The mind was even more compliant than my Gedd, but this should come as no surprise, because Taxxons are universally voluntary. When we arrived at their home planet, we soon learned that their species faced extreme hunger. Not out of a scarcity of resources, but as one of their most primal instincts. A Taxxon could eat its weight in fresh meat over and over, and while it might receive some temporary satiation, the hunger would return in full force within an hour. I knew this from personal experience with my Taxxon host. They formed an alliance with us, initially, because we promised to provide them with fresh meat. Once they experienced infestation, they were pleased to discover that this meant that they only felt a small portion of their hunger, as long as their Yeerk was in full control.

This did mean, for us Yeerks, that we dealt with the near eternal hunger of our host bodies whenever we were not feeding in the Yeerk Pool. Consequentially, few Yeerks enjoyed infesting Taxxons, even if their senses were superior in all ways to the Gedds, and those received them as host bodies were quite vocal about hoping for a promotion. At least, among similarly ranked Yeerks. I, like many others, believed that while Taxxon minds may be unresistant and have bodies that were adept at flying our spacecraft, it would not have been worth the battle to infest that particular race by force. I enjoyed the company of the mind of my Taxxon host, as I did with my Gedd host, but I was, nevertheless, very relieved when I received word that I would be promoted to another species.

My immediate superior, Sub-Visser Thirty-Five, informed me of this immediately before I was scheduled to feed at the Yeerk Pool. His host body was Hork-Bajir. I assumed that this would be the species of my next assignment, whenever that was.

"Milnis Six-Four-Two," he greeted me, after the formalities were out of the way. "We have been very pleased with your work. In particular, your skills at battle. You are to be promoted."

My work, during my time with my Taxxon host, had consisted mostly of flying space craft, and the occasional remote battle with Andalite space craft. Nothing face to face, as that would result in the immediate loss of my host's life. But a Taxxon's reflexes are remarkable at fighting when computers and buttons are involved. I knew that my work was good, thanks to three years' of practice at honing the Taxxon reflexes. Along with the occasional advice from my Taxxon host's mind.

"Sssssthankssss," I managed. Taxxon mouths are far better suited for consuming meat than communicating, and when we must speak to our superiors, we keep it as brief as possible. I made a gesture towards his host body. "Ssssomething of thatssssss ssssssssspecies?"

He smiled at me. "If you like, Milnis. We are in the position of being able to offer you a choice between two species. A Hork-Bajir, which would be available in three days' time, after Akbar Seven-Five-Two's next feeding. Or, a human."

"Humansss?"

I had seen them before. They looked like weak creatures, with no blades, and only a little taller than a Gedd. But they stood upright, and their planet consisted of billions-yes, billions-of them. Any creature fit for infestation that existed in that number could be forgiven the lack of blades on their bodies. Mine, after all, certainly lacked them.

The Sub-Visser nodded, and for a moment, it felt as though he had read my mind. "They are not useless creatures, Milnis, and I do not say this simply because of their large number. Many Yeerks consider an assignment of a human to be a promotion over a Hork-Bajir." He paused. "Think it over, while you feed. I will need a decision within a week's time."

I nodded, rather dazed at having an option between two types of host bodies, and decided to conduct some research before making my decision.

My sister, Ilniss, had a human host. We had coordinated our schedules so that we fed at the Yeerk Pool at the same time, but I knew little about her host except that it was a female and voluntary. She had been assigned a Hork-Bajir around the time I had been given my Taxxon host, and her promotion to human had come before mine. This may have caused rivalry, even animosity, between other Yeerk siblings, but I felt happy for my sister's good fortune.

I located her in the pool almost immediately, and told her about the latest news.

She took a moment before responding.

*I think, Milnis, that you should request a voluntary host.*

*Why is that?* I asked. *You don't think I could handle a resistant one?*

She made a rapid clicking sound that passes for laughter in the Yeerk Pool. *You handled the Taxxon hunger for nearly three years. An involuntary host would be easy by comparison. But no, Milnis. Voluntary hosts are much more...enjoyable.*

*Enjoyable?* I echoed, rather mystified at this statement. *What does that have anything to do with a voluntary host?*

This may sound callous, but up until this point, I had only had infested voluntary hosts. I knew the stories, mostly from those with humans and Hork-Bajir. The incessant screaming. The nonstop battles for control-usually, during prime moments of recruitment or meetings with their superiors. It had to be an exaggeration, and surely, it could be no worse than the Taxxon hunger.

Still, while I would prefer not to have to suffer through the wailings from a mind who did not want me to occupy their body, what choice did I really have in the matter?

Apparently, according to what Ilniss was inferring, I had some say.

*You see, Milnis,* she told me, *until now, your host bodies have had severe physical limitations. We all know about the Gedd ones, so I won't bore you with that. And, as you know far better than I do, the Taxxon hunger is-*

*Unending,* I finished. *Only barely manageable, and that's after nearly three years.*

The first year, truth be told, I nearly went insane from it.

*Yes. Humans and Hork-Bajir have no such physical limitations. Their bodies may not be as perfect as the meddling Andalite overlords, but their senses are, well, incredible. With a Hork-Bajir, you feel so powerful. Made for physical combat. Invincible, even. Human senses are not...they do not have the same implicit strength, but their senses are no less intoxicating. More to the point, Milnis, your host bodies have been limited, but their minds have been cooperative. Few voluntary Hork-Bajir exist, and the best you could hope for is a broken one. Either way, I have heard, you will be able to enjoy the body less. But a voluntary human! They are not so difficult to find, and to have a mind that welcomes you into a body that has few restrictions...So, you see, Milnis, as your sister, this will make you happiest. And, of course, best able to serve the empire.*

I took a minute to think about this. *What if no voluntary humans are available?*

*Oh, then, a Hork-Bajir,* Illniss told me. *But only as a second choice.*

I took Ilniss' advice to heart, and when I next spoke to my Sub-Visser, I told him that I wanted a voluntary human as my first choice, but if none were available, then a Hork-Bajir. He did not seem surprised by my request, and told me that I would wait in the Yeerk Pool until I received my new assignment.

Approximately two weeks later, one of the Sub-Visser's subordinates informed me that I would be receiving a human to infest.

*A voluntary human?* I asked, trying not to sound as though I cared.

*She's to become a full member tomorrow, so unless she changes her mind, yes.*

*Full member?* I repeated.

I heard the Yeerk sigh. *Of The Sharing. The way we are receiving hosts on Earth.*

That's right. I had heard of the name on a few occasions, but as it hadn't affected my duties with my Taxxon host, I hadn't paid it much attention.

Full membership, I now recalled, meant that a human would become a host to a Yeerk. In other words, the human who was going to become a full member would, most likely, become voluntary, but it also meant that I would be her first Yeerk.

Not her only Yeerk, in all likelihood. But her first.

*I remember, now,* I replied.

*You'll be transported into a human tank tomorrow morning. Do not be alarmed. This is standard procedure,* the Yeerk told me. Then, *Best of luck.*

I knew that Ilniss would be feeding later that day. As soon as I could detect her smell, I swam over to her with the news.

*I'm to receive a first time human,* I told her. *They said she'll be becoming a full member tomorrow, so she's likely to be voluntary.*

Ilniss clicked her palps together slowly, registering surprise. *I received word from a young human a few days back that she wanted to become a full member. Perhaps, that will be your host. There haven't been many in the last week.*

*Perhaps that's her,* I agreed. *What is she like?*

*Very intelligent for her age. Inquisitive. I suspect that she will pester you all about our history, and that of the other alien races we have encountered. Along with the logistics of space travel.*

*Surely, everyone knows about space travel?* I wondered. It seemed so basic.

*Oh, no, Milnis. Humans have no confirmed proof of life outside of their planet. They are a very primitive species, in that way. My own host had dozens of questions for me, and she is not half so inquisitive as your potential host,* Ilniss explained.

*How very strange,* I mused.

Of course, up until our encounter with Prince Seerow, we had no made contact with other races. Still, with host bodies such as the Gedds, we could hardly assemble our own spaceships.

As the hours passed, I felt increasingly excited about receiving my new host body. Nervous, of course, since this would be my first human, and I would be her first Yeerk. I had learned that it was easier for Yeerks when they infested voluntary hosts who had already been Controllers before. Too much to hope for in my first human assignment, I imagined. Still. A human! I couldn't imagine what it would be like. Just to have eyes and not eternal hunger seemed like a wonder to me.

As predicted, the tank arrived and swept me up. I felt the loss of Kandrona rays, and wondered how long I would be waiting. I hoped not for much more than half a day. Even though we could last three days without the Kandrona, that was the absolute longest amount of time. Most of us fed every two and a half days. If I would be waiting in the tank for half that time, my first cycle with my new host would be cut short. As it was, I would have to work to coordinate my feeding with Illniss, I was certain. But these inconveniences were small ones, and entirely unavoidable.

The first thing I felt, after being removed from the tank, was a pair of hands holding me. I expected to be raised to the human's ear immediately, but it was some time before this occurred. How strange! I wondered if this was a standard procedure. On occasion, hosts assigned to new Yeerks were taken directly to the Yeerk Pool-namely Gedds and Taxxons-but I imagined that this would not be protocol for a human. Especially, a young one who had never encountered alien life directly. Anyway, I felt myself being transferred from one pair of hands to another, and I worried briefly that I would begin to dry up before I could enter the human's ear. Fortunately, well before this happened, I found myself being lifted again, and there was the ear. The ear of my new host!

With relief, I pushed my way inside, careful to release an ample amount of painkiller. I did not wish to cause my human any discomfort, after all. The very basic structure of the passage to the brain was similar to the Gedd and the Taxxon's. I supposed that all species with centralized brains have a clear pathway from the ear to the brain. I had heard about the horrors Yeerks had experienced from attempting to infest species without centralized brains. How they had become lost, then nearly dried up in their attempt to escape from the host body. Thankfully, other Yeerks with functioning host bodies had been there to assist the Yeerk, but it must have been enough to make a Yeerk refuse to infest any species that had not been proven to be inhabitable!

I flattened myself as I made my way to the brain of my new host. I used caution as I pressed down on the various cracks within the brain, lest I intentionally release messages to trigger the pain receptors. I couldn't feel the host's mind yet, but I knew that it would be present to me within a matter of minutes. Finally, I was able to touch the hearing part of the brain, then the sight.

It was truly awe inspiring. The sight of a human was nothing like my old Taxxon or Gedd. The colors, the depth of everything. I let out a mental sigh, a combination of awe and pleasure, at these senses. Could anything be better?

I began to move other parts of the body. I was aware that one of the other humans was holding my hand. Instinctively, I knew that it was Ilniss. How, I wasn't sure. Perhaps the scent of her could be detected even between our hosts. Or, maybe, it was simply instinct. I glanced at the other two humans in the room, and then, became aware of my host's mind.

It had always been there, I supposed. I had been distracted by the senses. I now felt her...not fear, exactly. At least, not in the form as extreme as terror. All the same, she was certainly uneasy. I reached out to her, tentatively.

(H-hello? Can you hear me?) she asked.

The voice, I realized, as I accessed the host's memory, belonged to a child. A female human child.

She was about eight years old. In Gedd years, she would be an adult. Likewise with Taxxon. As a Hork-Bajir? Elderly. Not old enough to be useless as a host, but certainly, not as efficient as a two or three year old.

In human years, though, eight was very young. Old enough to comprehend her surroundings, to communicate, to make decisions. But less than half the age of what was considered a standard adult.

And, of course, she was a first time host. No wonder she was scared.

Quite unlike all of my other hosts. They had each received several Yeerks before me. No doubt, there would be numerous ones after me. This might be true of this human child, of course. But as her first Yeerk, I would certainly set the "tone" for any of her future infestations. Did she realize this? Probably, it would be best not to tell her...

I reached out to her with my mind. (Hello,) I greeted her, speaking gently. (My name is Milnis six-four-two. What is yours, young human?)

(It's Melinda, but mostly everyone calls me Mindy,) she answered.

(Very well, Mindy,) I replied, still keeping my voice gentle.

As I spoke to the child, I could feel some of her fear lessen. Not disappear entirely-which, I realized, was due mostly to my hold over her body-but it seemed to melt away at the sound of my voice.

(Hi,) she said again, and for a moment, I was concerned that she was one of those humans who was not intelligent. But no. I realized, as I read her thoughts, that her repetition of the human greeting was intended more as a means of self soothing. She was focusing on communication, in an attempt to avoid focusing on the fact that I had control over her body.

(You're still rather afraid,) I observed. (I can see that I'm your first Yeerk, after all. And you are very young.)

(Well, I'm eight, but I'll be nine next March,) she pointed out, and I noticed that her confidence grew-slightly-as she told me this.

(Given that it's June in your human months, that's still quite a ways away,) I observed, and I saw that Mindy could detect my amusement.

(Well, yeah,) she told me. Then, quickly, she added, (And this is definitely...weird. And scary. Not speaking to you, I mean! Just, you know, you having complete control over my body.)

That was understandable enough. Mindy didn't suffer from extreme hunger, as my Taxxon host did. Even the Gedd race was used to being controlled fully by now, and I imagined that were they offered control (outside of when their Yeerk fed), they would simply be confused. Mindy, on the other hand, had lived the first eight years of her life oblivious to any alien life forms, much less ones that could occupy space in your head. Of course, she wanted to be able to use her body, at least sometimes. It was, after all, all she had known.

(I'll give you back control once I've spoken to Leetat and Ilniss,) I promised. Then, I added, (You've been very brave so far, Mindy, and I am appreciative of that.)

(Thanks,) she told me, and I could feel her relief. About being able to use her body again.

I wondered, rather belatedly, if this would be all right. I imagined that it wouldn't be committing treason to allow some control to your voluntary host, especially if it eased their concern about having a Yeerk live in their head. I would have to ask about this, the next time I was in the pool, or perhaps, when I met with my new Sub-Visser. Ideally, the first. If I wasn't supposed to do this, I would rather not have Mindy experience it.

(In the meantime,) I told Mindy, (I'm going to adjust my level of control over you to loose. Do you know what that is, Mindy?)

(Yes, they told me earlier,) she confirmed, and after I released my hold over her mind-I was still in full control, but she had the full feeling of her senses-her level of mental comfort increased again. She knew, of course, that I still had full control over her body, but the ability to feel her body, the fact that she didn't feel entirely trapped in her mind, elevated her mood considerably. (Wow, that's better. Thanks!)

(You're welcome, Mindy,) I replied, sending her a mental smile, which received one in return.

I moved my head in the direction of the two humans. No, human Controllers. Like me, now. "It's Milnis. I have control."

The human holding my hand released her grip. "Milnis, it's Illniss. How's she handling your presence?"

"She's understandably a little frightened, but fairly mature for her age," I informed the human Controllers. "She hasn't fought me, or anything like that. No shouting or acting out." Suddenly, I added, "I have her under loose control, which she seems to prefer. I did promise her full control after I spoke with you."

The other Yeerk nodded her head. "Yes, that's a good idea. And the body itself? Any difficulties with that? I heard that you've never had a human before this?"

I shook Mindy's head. "A Gedd and a Taxxon. Both voluntary, but with great physical limitations. I believe that Mindy, as she likes to be called, will be a vast improvement."

"No doubt," Lisa/Ilniss said, smiling. "Humans are a superior species to most other available hosts, but voluntary ones are another kind altogether."

"I can see that," I agreed, and I gave Mindy another mental smile, which she returned.

After a few more pleasantries, we stood up. I was pleased to see that this body was far easier to maneuver than either the Taxxon or the Gedd, and would have liked to experiment with it more, but I could feel my host's anticipation at being able to use her body again, and felt it would not be wise to delay it longer than necessary.

Besides, I would still have access to her senses, even when Mindy was in control.

We returned to the main Sharing area, and it was there that I released full control to my new host.

(I still have access to your senses,) I explained to her, (as I'm still connected to your mind.)

(We can still talk, then?) Mindy asked me, and I could see that this was very important to her. (I don't have to, you know, "speak" louder or anything?)

(No, Mindy,) I said, hiding a laugh. (Your regular volume will do quite well.)

She gave me a mental smile, which I returned. (Just...remember that it's important to act as your normally do. And...) I hesitated just for a moment, (there will be times when I will need to be in control. Not always, but sometimes. So...)

(We should practice taking turns?) she suggested to me.

I gave a mental nod. (Yes, exactly.)

(Okay, but, if you can remember, can you always use loose control, when it's your turn? It's weird, not being able to feel myself completely,) Mindy asked me, sounding uncertain. (Please, Milnis?)

(Of course,) I reassured her. (That's no trouble at all, Mindy.)

She gave me a mental smile. (This is really cool. I mean, you're an alien, and you're living in my brain! I didn't even know for sure that aliens existed until now! And you're real. You're actually real. Oh, I have sooo many questions!) I could feel her bubbling with excitement, so much so that it was starting to show on her face. But, she immediately registered this, and I felt her reposition her features so they returned to normal. (Sorry! I'll try to remember to...you know, act normal.)

I laughed. (I'd rather you be excited that I'm in your head than angry, or distressed, Mindy. But yes. We should use caution.)

(Oh, definitely.) She nodded, physically, this time, then stopped herself. (Goops. Sorry! I'll be more careful to seem normal.)

I gave her a mental eye roll-something I'd known that humans did from time to time. (Somehow, Mindy, I suspect that you're not exactly a normal human child.)

Chapter Text

My emotions were a jumble as I waited for my mom to pick us up. Since I had planned to become a full member today, I had asked her to pick me up an hour later than usual. I checked my watch-there were still fifteen minutes to go.

I was excited, of course, at the idea of living with a real life alien. Milnis must know a ton about outer space, and I couldn't wait to ask her a million questions about it. I wanted to know all about life on her planet, and the other ones she had been to. I had the sense not to bombard her with my questions right off the bat, but I certainly wanted to.

At the same time, I was nervous. She'd be living in my head! Knowing all of my thoughts, able to use my body. Looking back, I wasn't scared that she would hurt me in the traditional ways some especially nasty Yeerks treated involuntary hosts. Like replaying bad memories for hours on end. But, I was apprehensive. A part of me felt like I had to be on my best behavior around her, like how I felt at the beginning of a new school year. I needed to pay attention in class, not raise my hand whenever I knew the answer to a question, and not doodle in my notebook after the teacher had explained the same thing for the tenth time.

That never lasted. A few weeks into the school year, I was back to being the same old Mindy, as my dad would put it. Raising my hand whenever I knew the answer, and drawing pictures when I should have been paying attention. My teachers mostly let me get away with it, or at least the second part, because I was smart and would know the answers for the homework or the tests. After, as Dad pointed out, I had already proven myself in their eyes to be smarter than most of my classmates.

(You don't need to be perfect, Mindy,) Milnis told me, gently, hearing my unspoken thoughts. (Not around me.)

I felt a warm feeling of relief wash over me. (Thank you, Milnis.)

About five minutes before my mom was supposed to pick me up, I realized I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. That wouldn't be a problem-the bathrooms were just in the next room-but the idea of going while Milnis could see me made me more than a little uncomfortable.

Then again, it wasn't like I could just stop peeing for the rest of my life. I was sure that I would explode. Besides, Milnis had lived in other aliens before me. She must have had to use the bathroom, back then.

(Go ahead, Mindy,) Milnis told me, and I could feel her trying not to laugh.

I rolled my eyes. (Ugh, fine. But this is so weird! Can you not look?)

(Not without closing your eyes,) my Yeerk pointed out, tactfully.

I didn't bother to answer her, just headed into the ladies' room. I was as quick as possible, and tried not to think about the fact that I was being watched. Milnis didn't say anything to me, which I was happy about, and when I washed my hands at the sink, I could feel relief sinking in.

Of course, I realized then, this would only be the beginning. Milnis would be there whenever I went to the bathroom, or took a bath, or changed my clothes. She'd also be there when I brushed my teeth, but that didn't seem so weird.

(Mindy, these are all entirely natural human processes,) she told me, her voice soft inside my head, as we walked back to the main room. (It may seem unsettling to you now, but I promise, it will soon feel entirely normal.)

(How do you know?) I asked. It wasn't a sarcastic question. I was genuinely interested in where Milnis had gotten this information.

I was, after all, her first human host.

(My sister, Ilniss. The one whose host's hand you held when I first entered your head?) she asked me, and I gave a mental nod. (We spoke on a few occasions before I was assigned to you. She told me about humans, and what I could expect. You're hardly all the same, of course, but there are some universals.)

(Like not wanting your Yeerk to see you pee?) I wondered.

Milnis laughed. (Yes, that's certainly one of them.)

(Well,) I decided, (the good parts of you being in my head definitely outweigh the bad.)

Milnis chuckled. (I'm glad you think so, Mindy.)

An idea came to me. (Hey, Milnis? Can you change the way you sound when you speak to me? Not that your voice isn't good the way that it is...) I trailed off.

Milnis took a minute to consider. (I've never really considered that. I suppose I could, since it's all inside your head, and mine.)

(If you lived with a human from another country, you'd have to learn another language,) I pointed out. (Or, at least, manage a non-American accent.)

Milnis chuckled. (I sound American to you?)

I gave a mental shrug. (Well, you don't sound British or Australian.)

(Fair enough,) she conceded. (We can try, perhaps. Testing out other voices and seeing if there's one you like.)

(Okay. Not right away, though,) I added, (unless you want to. This is pretty cool, right now.)

I felt Milnis reach out to me, giving me a sort of mental hug. I felt my whole mind relax into it.

(Mmm,) I told her, sighing happily, and maybe, a little sleepily. (I like this.)

(Me too,) Milnis told me, as she continued to hold me.

My mom arrived exactly on time, and it was all I could do not to shout that I had an alien living in my head now, and it was the coolest thing ever.

Milnis, understandably, was worried that I would say something that I shouldn't. Back then, I only saw Yeerk infestation as getting the chance to live with an alien, but Milnis knew-though not from her personal experience-that most people didn't see it that way. She probably wanted to avoid getting my parents infested for a whole number of reasons, not that I was the least bit aware of that at the time.

(Mindy?) she spoke up, seeing my mom. (Do you mind if I take control, just for a little while? I will let you experience all of your senses as you normally do.)

I gave a mental nod. (Okay.) I paused. (Will you need to be in control all the time?)

I felt myself lose control, but at least all of my senses remained in tact. Milnis hugged me, again, which made it less frightening to not be able to move my body.

(No, not all the time, but maybe, a lot of the time in the beginning,) Milnis reassured me. (Your emotions are still a little-jumpy-and I don't want your parents to get worried.)

I gave her a mental nod. (But, when they're not there? Can I have some control, then?)

(Of course, Mindy,) Milnis soothed, and I felt better.

It felt weird, hearing Milnis use my voice to talk to my mom, and tell her that the Sharing meeting was fun, and I was now a full member. It was a little like I was one of those ventriloquist puppets, being made to speak by someone else. During those shows, though, everyone knew it wasn't the puppet who was speaking, but here, no one knew that it wasn't me.

She won't hurt you, I told myself. She just needs to get you used to this new world.

(That's right,) Milnis told me, as we drove home, while "I" was still telling Mom about the meeting. (I won't hurt you, Mindy.)

I gave my Yeerk a mental nod, and tried to settle back into my mind.

When we arrived back at my house-which kind of belonged to Milnis now, as well-my mom told me that dinner would be ready in about an hour.

"Okay," Milnis told her, giving my mom a hug. "I think I'll read in my room until then."

Mom hugged me back, then gave my braid a light tug. "Have fun, sweetie."

Once we were in my room, Milnis told me that I could have control until dinner, if I wanted.

(I do,) I answered, gratefully. (Thank you!)

So, she dropped her control, and I carefully closed the door to my room, then walked around, happy that I was able to do so.

(Want me to show you what everything is?) I asked her, eagerly.

Milnis laughed. (If you'd like, Mindy.)

I did. First, I showed her my favorite doll, which my grandmother on my mom's side had bought me for my birthday last year.

(It's a real American Girl doll,) I told her. (Her name is Felicity. She was born in the 1700's, before we were officially our own country. When she was a kid, we had this big war going own, against the British king. We won, and started our own country.)

Then, I showed her my stuffed animals, including my favorite, a big bunny rabbit that I slept with every night. (Her name is Daisy,) I introduced her. (Dad bought her for me the day I was born.)

After that, I showed her my books, which was a mix of science and fiction, and a couple of science fiction books. (I like to read, a lot,) I laughed.

I felt Milnis' amusement. (I can tell.)

(We go to the library a lot, though. Mom says that if she bought me everything I wanted to read, there wouldn't be any money for food,) I explained. (So, we go once a week, and I take out at least twenty books. More, now, since it's the summer, and camp hasn't started yet.)

(Camp?) Milnis echoed, then nodded, mentally, as she saw the memories in my head. (Oh..)

(Yeah, it's this day camp that I started at two years ago,) I clarified. (It's eight weeks long, and really cool. But, it doesn't start for another week or so. They have an overnight version, too, but my parents say I'm too young to go. At least for two more years.)

(That's wise of them,) Milnis replied. (And good for me, too.)

I sat down on my desk chair. (Why's that?)

(Because, Mindy, I have to feed every three days. Even if the camp was near a Yeerk Pool, it would be very difficult to get there as often as I need to. Unless one of the adults was a Controller, like you,) Milnis told me. (So, it's better, for now, that you're at the day camp instead.)

(Oh. Right. That makes sense,) I acknowledged. Then, a thought struck me. (But, Milnis, how are you going to get to feed, now?)

She laughed, gently. (The extra Sharing meetings you will be attending as a full member will mostly be ways for me to feed at the pool.)

I frowned. It felt, a little, like a lie.

(I'll still go to extra meetings, most of the time,) Milnis clarified. (But for at least two hours, every three days, I will need to leave your body and swim in the pool.)

(What do I do, when you're feeding?) I asked, a little nervously.

Milnis gave me a mental shrug. (There's plenty to choose from, I understand. I've never had a human before you, so I don't know what's there from their memories, but it sounds like there's plenty of activities you can participate in. Even an area to rest in, if you're tired.)

(And when you're finished eating, they'll call my name, and I'll get you back?) I queried.

(Yes. You'll place your head over the pool so I can leave it, and the same thing when it's my turn to enter your head. They keep track of which Yeerk belongs to which host.) At my concern, Milnis added, (Don't worry, Mindy. It won't be for a couple of days, and besides, it's all very organized. You have nothing to worry about.)

I nodded. (Okay. I trust you.)

"Mindy!" I heard my mom call. "Time for dinner!"

(We better go,) I told Milnis. (And, I guess, you need to take control?)

Milnis hugged me, again. (Yes, just for now. I'm proud of you, Millie. You're doing very well with all of this, and I appreciate how brave you've been.)

I managed a smile, before Milnis took over. (Well, you're a really nice alien to have in my head, so it's not so bad.)

She laughed, still hugging me.

There were, I was surprised to find, benefits to having Milnis using my body. For example, my mom makes really great food, but I always gobble it down so I can read or (occasionally) watch TV. Half the time, I wouldn't remember what I ate an hour later.

Milnis still had to eat quickly, to keep up appearances, but since she was doing the chewing and swallowing, I could actually sit back and enjoy it. Maybe, I decided, I'd try to eat more slowly, once Milnis determined it was okay to let me be in control. At any rate, I felt more appreciative of my mom's cooking that night than I had in months.

"Mmm," Milnis told my mom. "That was really good, Mom."

Mom beamed, then reached over to pat my hand. "Thanks, honey. Are you up for dessert?"

I was always up for dessert, which Milnis knew.

"What's for dessert?" she asked, eagerly.

"Brownies. With extra chocolate chips," she added. "It's a new recipe I got from Heidi, so you two will be the guinea pigs."

Dad looked at us with mock suspicion. "I don't know, Mindy. Do you think it's safe?"

Milnis giggled, just like I would have. "You can't mess up brownies, Daddy!"

He nodded, seriously. "I guess you're right. Okay, honey, we'll try them."

Mom served us each one to start, and they were delicious. I was very glad that Milnis was responsible for eating them, because I would have devoured it in a matter of bites. I sat back in my head, filled with happiness.

So, I noticed, was Milnis.

Chapter Text

I felt pleased that my child host had taken so well to my being in her head. Shortly before I infested Mindy, I'd heard stories of humans going through the process of becoming a full member of The Sharing, only to become scared and attempt to withdraw their offer upon learning that it meant sharing their body with an alien. It was not entirely surprising, since humans did not have concrete evidence of life outside their planet, and certainly no concept of aliens who lived in the minds of host bodies. I knew that The Sharing tried to acclimate potential full members to this idea before making the official offer of full membership, but it was hardly a fail safe method. Mindy could have attempted to run away, and I or another Yeerk would be placed in her head, regardless of whether she wanted one there.

It may seem harsh, but we couldn't have a race like humans aware of our existence. Not with their numbers, nor their weapons.

I was grateful, then, that Mindy's initial fear grew into relief when she learned that I could control her body without denying her ability to feel her senses. Additionally, I was happy to be able to offer her some control, which she certainly wanted, and had been promised beforehand, in exchange for her cooperation.

Moreover, she was so innocent. Inquisitive, certainly, with a thirst for knowledge about the universe. At the same time, she had no qualms about trusting me or believing me. All of my other hosts knew about my race, after all, even as we were able to help them. To Mindy, I was a strange, yet trusted, alien friend who would be living in her head for the foreseeable future. She welcomed me into her life, which was made clear when she showed me around her room. Certainly, I could access all of what she told me through her memories, but she wanted to be the one who provided me this information about herself.

It was...endearing. Even after only a couple of hours with my new host, I found myself growing fond of her. Not attached, certainly, but as my sister had told me earlier, this would be an enjoyable assignment. No distracting screams from my host's mind, no eternal hunger to deal with, and while her body had no natural weapons, it was a good body with acute senses.

I felt very happy.

I knew, though, that I was shirking my duties to the Empire by not yet going through her mind. All Yeerks, upon infesting their hosts, must do a memory search. This requirement was put in place after we discovered the human race. Even though it was necessary for a Yeerk to know the every memory of a Gedd, Taxxon, and Hork-Bajir, those conquests have long since been completed. (Taxxons, of course, needed not to be conquered, and it would have been rather a waste of time and resources to do so. Thank the Kandrona, they were voluntary hosts, even if their bodies leave much to be desired.)

Humans are, as is one of Mindy's favorite sayings borrowed from a favorite movie, "A horse of another color." Humans do not know that we are here, do not know that we require some of their bodies immediately, and eventually, all of them. Because of the way the esteemed Visser One deemed our invasion should go, with her immense knowledge of the human race, it was determined by the Council that brute force would be a grave error.

Like the Taxxons, humanity would come to us voluntarily. Unlike the Taxxons, we could not introduce ourselves. Not immediately, at least. The knowledge of another intelligent species on their planet, particularly one that requires the cooperation of these human bodies to allow us into their minds, would be too much for them to handle.

Humans are certainly not as aggressive or advanced as Andalites, but they are much wiser then Hork-Bajir. Therefore, we must move slowly, befriend our hosts as needed, and serve the Empire to utilize these bodies in order to obtain more hosts.

This means blending in with our fellow humans. This means acting the role of my host, when I am not permitting her leave to use her own body. I may have both, I know, a cooperative and intelligent and funny host--and be a good servant to the Empire.

Yet to do so, I would, of course, need to do a complete search of her memory.

The question was when. I knew that I probably should have already done so, upon her infestation. Yet, because of Mindy's age, this might have traumatized her, and would certainly have made her fear me. She would have seen me as an enemy, as someone who wished to hurt her. It was, I knew, better for the sake of our semi-symbiotic relationship that I did not open all of her memories upon my initial infestation.

I would, I decided, wait until she was sleeping.

Well, I should probably tell her that I would do so, because she was intelligent enough to know that I did not know everything about her right now, and might feel conflicted if she woke up and I knew everything about her. Besides, I had never had a human host, and the information they provided us did not include whether such a search would send them out of their stupor.

They assumed that we would search their memories immediately, I knew, and would not have thought to provide such information.

(Mindy,) I said, gently, as my human host prepared herself to go to bed.

Mentally, she jumped, and then laughed inside her head. She was laughing at herself, but also at the knowledge that she had another passenger inside of her head. Mindy then realized that I would be there while she slept, and laughed again.

(It's like a sleepover!) she told me, beaming inwardly and outwardly.

I laughed inside our mind, the images of a sleepover clarifying what she was talking about.

(It is, although I do not have a set of pajamas, or a nightgown,) I teased her.

(And you don't need to brush your teeth!) she returned, with a mental image of a Yeerk sticking out a tongue.

I returned that image with one of a human slug rolling its eyes. I used the image of eyes from the googly eyes that I'd seen on a drawing Mindy had done, which was hanging up on the family refrigerator.

She nearly collapsed into giggles, and I almost had to take control, but my host controlled herself before any sound escaped.

(You're so funny,) she told me, with clear affection. (I'm so happy you're my friend, Millie!)

I felt a stab of something that I would, much later, come to realize as guilt.

(I am happy to be your friend, Mindy,) I told her, softly. Then, an idea came to me. (As your friend, we will tell each other secrets, won't we?)

(Oh, yes!) she agreed, with eagerness.

Then, I explained what I had to do. I felt her mind subdue, and as she pulled the covers around her, Mindy's body felt colder than usual.

(Do you have to? Couldn't I just tell you about myself?) she asked, softly.

(I'm sorry, Mindy, but I have to know everything about you. That is one of our rules, you see. If I break it, and I'm found out, I could get into a lot of trouble. I might be taken from you,) I explained.

She nodded, steeling herself. (Okay. But please don't do it when I'm asleep.)

(It's too late to do it now,) I reminded her. (It takes at least two hours, as I've heard, and you will not get enough sleep if I begin now.)

(Could you wait until tomorrow? Please?) my host asked, nearly begging me.

A few more hours wouldn't hurt. Besides, we could make some excuse for her parents to leave her alone. I could take a book with me, and set my host in the hammock outside the house. She would feel more comfortable there, and I would make sure that she felt secure in her head.

(Very well,) I decided. (We will wait until tomorrow.)

(Thank you, Millie.)

(You're welcome, Mindy. Now, try to get some sleep,) I told her, then gave her a gentle hug.

She nestled into it as she did the blankets, and before long, I was alone with my thoughts inside of her head.