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Chapter Text

Isabelle had never seen someone look so pale. Sure, vampires were supposed to be pale, but Simon's skin was drained of all color. He completely motionless, not even breathing. She tried to tell herself that he didn't need to breathe anyway as a sort of reassurance, but it didn't help. He was dying, it was that obvious.

She scanned for a sharp object, eyes resting on Meliorn's blade for less than half a second before unsheathing it, the abruptness of this motion causing the blade to clank against the armor. She sliced open her own hand aggressively with a grunt, desperate to save Simon. She balled her hand into a loose fist, holding it over Simon's mouth. Her fingers clasped tighter around the wound, allowing the blood to more effectively drip into the vampire's mouth. Nothing.

"Come back to me, Simon," she pleaded. "You have so much more to live for."

At this point a tear rolled down her cheek as she watched in horror at the lack of a response from Simon.

A wave of relief washed over her when she first her his sharp inhale.

"Thank the angel," she sighed.

Simon then attempted to sit up before being stopped by Isabelle.

"Just keep drinking. You need your strength," she said.

"He's going to need a lot more blood than that if he's going to survive," the Seelie Queen remarked coldly.

Isabelle looked toward the childlike figure and then out into the distance. If Simon bit her, he'd be able to get enough blood. If Simon bit her, he'd survive. If Simon bit her...

Then all of the progress that she made would be wiped away in an instant. It would be like her battle with her addiction never even happened. She would have to start all over. The time that she'd been clean, her recovery, it would all have been in vain.

When she looked down, she saw the boy she was holding, the sweet mundane who had had such a rough life recently. She saw his face, almost devoid of life. She heard his shallow, uneven breath, as if he were desperately clinging onto life itself. She also took in the tips of his fangs that were exposed from under his upper lip. The Queen was right; Simon needed a lot more blood to survive. He needed to feed. He needed someone to save him.

Isabelle closed her eyes for a moment, bracing herself. She knew exactly what she needed to do. Another tear rolled down her cheek. Simon was going to be okay, but would she be?

She rolled up her sleeve, exposing her bare runed wrist before holding it up for Simon to drink.

"You need to bite me, Simon," she explained.

With that, he opened his tired eyes, looking up at Izzy.

"The venom," he warned.

Isabelle was a recovering addict. He knew this. He couldn't do that to her.

"It's okay. It's okay," Izzy uttered like a mantra.

She was trying to not only coax Simon into casting his selflessness aside, but also convince herself that everything was going to be okay. She'd fought the battle before and won. If she did once, she could do it again.

"I️ can't," Simon said.

He didn't want to hurt her. He couldn't hurt her. The entire reason that he wanted the mark gone in the first place was because he didn't want to hurt anyone ever again. And yet, there he was, a monster that needed blood to survive. He could feel his body giving out, aching for blood, but he knew he had to fight it. He knew he had to fight.

"You have to do it," Isabelle urged.

He simply shook his head.

"Just look into my eyes, okay?" she said.

He was running out of time. It was a matter of life and death and she didn't have time to argue with him, so she pushed her wrist closer until it was right in front of his lips. So close.

Simon exhaled another rough, shallow breath before opened his mouth and sinking his fangs into the soft flesh in front of him.

Isabelle could literally see the color returning to his face right before her eyes.

Simon could feel his strength returning as he tasted the sweet Nephilim blood that filled his mouth. It was as if he was drinking life itself, warm and delicious vitality. His eyes fell closed and a moan escaped him. He then abruptly snapped them open, not allowing the monster that craved every last drop of her blood to take over. He couldn't lose control; he at the very least owed her that much.

He moved his gaze to hers, already consumed with guilt, but he couldn't stop, not just yet. He was still half starved, he still needed more as disgusted with himself he felt.

Isabelle could see the pain and desperation in his gaze, and nodded to encourage him to keep going.

Instinctively, he grabbed her arm, holding her in place, grasping tightly to the steady flow of that heavenly warm crimson liquid that his body yearned for.

His eyes grew misty as he witnessed Izzy's eyes rolling back, her head lulling backward as she began to feel the euphoric high of the intoxicating vampire venom, the venom that was supposed to make it easier for them as predators to feed on their pray, sucking their blood like parasites.

It was probably for the best that Isabelle didn't see Simon's look of panic before she gently fell onto him as he continued to feed on her.

He found his free hand clutching onto hers, pressing her wrist even closer. He wanted it all to disappear, the divine taste of angelic blood, his sharp piercing fangs, his addictive venom, his own demonic nature, the intense inhuman bloodlust: the dark, monstrous hunger. But he couldn't, so instead, there he was, closing his eyes, helpless against the beast inside determined to drink its fill.

There was no going back for the yin fen addicted Shadowhunter or the self loathing vampire.

Chapter Text

Simon hadn't planned on going to the Institute. If it were up to him, he would never go to that place ever again. However, it seemed that he was left with no choice after Izzy passed out.

He considered simply bringing her to his apartment, but decided against it.

As he carried her in his arms, he found himself listening to her heartbeat. It was a little bit slower than it should be, but it was steady. It was the sound of life drumming throughout her body, providing Simon with the slightest sense of relief.

When Alec met Simon outside of the Institute upon Simon's request, he was alarmed to see Simon carrying his unconscious sister bridal style. Simon caught on to this, taking in the way that Alec's mouth was agape when he made eye contact.

"She's okay," he assured, only realizing how concerning of a preface that was after the words escaped him. "I️ just need to get her to her room."

Alec simply nodded and granted the vampire entry with very few words.

After they had gotten Izzy settled, the two went into the hallway to talk. Well, for Simon to explain himself.

"What happened?" Alec asked with an edge of suspicion. He didn't trust Simon. Simon didn't blame him.

At those words, the Daylighter looked down at his feet, unable to meet the Shadowhunter's intense glare.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault," Simon uttered softly, shaking his head in the smallest motions possible.

Alec raised an eyebrow.

"What did you do?" Alec asked, his voice low and accusatory.

Simon took a deep breath, feeling the trembling of his own hands as he fought to suppress tears. He didn't know what Alec would do to him, but he wasn't even afraid. He was just so ashamed. He didn't want to repeat any of it out loud, didn't want to admit what he'd done. A familiar pit began to develop in his stomach, it was the kind when you just want to crawl into a hole and hide away from everyone and everything. But there was no hiding from his own actions.

"I️...I️ didn't mean me to. We were in the Seelie Court-"

"What were you doing there?" Alec interrupted, folding his arms across his chest.

Simon clenched his jaw, still attempting to look at anything but Alec.

"She was helping me. I️ needed to get rid of the Mark of Cain. I️ just couldn't stand the thought of hurting anyone else so-"

"And what happened to my sister?" Alec asked.

"I️-uh-" Simon trailed off.

He felt a tightness constraining his throat, making it almost impossible to speak.

This caused a worried Alec to grow increasingly impatient.

"What did you do to my sister?" he asked, his voice only raising slightly in volume but greatly rising in intensity.

Thoughts began to race through Simon's head of all of the things that he should say. However, it seemed as if no matter how hard he tried nothing would come out. He knew how impatient Alec was getting, knew not to make him wait any longer for a response, but he just couldn't speak.

Alec asked again. Still nothing.

"What did you do?" he shouted.

Say something. Literally anything. Just say something.

"I️ bit her!" Simon blurted.

After that, everything began to feel like it was moving in slow motion. He heard Alec's heart rate increase. He saw him ball up his fist and he saw it swinging toward his face. He easily could've dodged it or deflected it or something, but he chose not to. Instead, he just stood still and took the blow.

Alec repeated the same action, Simon still remaining entirely passive. Besides, it didn't hurt that much, at least not as much as the vampire thought he deserved.

So, Simon didn't do anything when Alec continued. He didn't do anything when there was blood on his face and on the other's fist. He didn't even do anything when he found himself on the ground, the Shadowhunter standing over him and pointing a glowing seraph blade at him.

"If you come anywhere near my sister ever again, I️ will kill you. You got that, bloodsucker?" Alec asserted.

Simon swallowed the lump forming in his throat and nodded, clenching his jaw.

"Now get out!" Alec commanded.

For a moment, Simon paused, stunned.

He remembered the worst of night of his life, the night that it became more apparent than ever what a monster he truly was. There he was standing in what used to be his own home, the taste of his own sister's blood still fresh in his mouth as his own mother pointed a knife at him. He remembered the distress and panic in her voice as he threatened to kill him. He remembered his own desperate plea. Most of all, he was haunted by the look on his mother's face as she declared that he was, in fact, a monster. The one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally looked at him in the same way that he now regarded himself: with disgust, hatred, and fear.

His own mother hated him. He hated himself. He fed his sister. He murdered his best friend. He hurt Isabelle. Hell, why wouldn't Alec hate him? Maybe everyone should.

"I️ said get out!" Alec bellowed, shaking Simon back into the present moment.

And, with that, Simon was gone.

Chapter Text

Isabelle’s eyes fluttered open. Her eyes scanned around her own room. She felt a little bit of alarm as she tried to remember exactly how she’d gotten there and what happened prior, before realizing that she must’ve passed out after Simon drank from her.

After coming to this conclusion, she pressed herself up, looking at the clock on her beside table to determine approximately how long she’d been out for.

It seemed that a couple of hours had passed, and she decided that she should probably check in with her brother.

After making her way over to his office, she exhaled, suppressing the twitching in the wrist that Simon had bitten into before knocking. Her brother’s voice instructed her to enter, and she opened the door slowly.

At the sight of, Alec immediately jumped up from his desk, walking to meet her as she pushed the door closed behind her.

“Hey, Izzy, are you okay?” Alec asked, the concern evident in his expression.

Isabelle nodded, offering a cheerful smile to mask her own internal worries.

“Yeah, I’m good. Have you seen Simon by any chance?” she inquired.

At that, Alec’s expression shifted from pure concern to slight anger, jaw clenching as he raised his eyebrows. He looked down before nodding, collecting himself before meeting his sister’s gaze.

“He told me what happened. So, I️ took care of him,” Alec explained.

Izzy took a slight step back, eyeing her brother up and down. She raised an eyebrow as she folded her arms across her chest.

“What do you mean you ‘took care of him’?” she asked sternly.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“I know about what he did to you, so I️ made sure that he doesn’t bother you anymore,” he said bitterly.

Isabelle clicked her tongue and shook her head.

“You are unbelievable, Alec, you know that?” Izzy remarked.

Alec lowered his brows, peering at his sister with a stern expression.

“He bit you, Izzy. After everything you’ve been through,” he uttered quietly.

Izzy looked down at her wrist and nodded before looking back up.

“I know. I️ told him to,” Izzy explained.

Her brother took a step back, and she couldn’t even bring herself to look at his face. She knew that she just didn’t need that.

Surprisingly, when Alec spoke, he didn’t sound angry or even disappointed.

“Just tell me why,” he said. He actually seemed like he genuinely wanted to hear her side of the story, not like he was passing judgement of any kind.

Isabelle sighed.

“Simon would’ve died if he didn’t feed, and I️ couldn’t let that happen,” she explained.

Alec nodded, pressing his lips together pensively.

Before he had the chance to speak, his sister continued.

“It was my choice, and I️ knew what I️ was doing. The circumstances were less than ideal, but don’t blame Simon for this. He would never hurt me,” she continued.

“But he did,” Alec added. “He may not have meant to, but he did.”

Isabelle shook her head.

“Don’t try and turn this around. It’s not his fault,” she said defensively.

“It’s not about whose fault it is. You get with all of these vampires…”

Izzy raised her eyebrows, jaw dropping in offense. She couldn’t even believe what she was hearing at that point.

“All of these vampires? Are you slut shaming me?” she asked.

Alec sighed.

“Come on you know that’s not what I️ meant,” he explained.

Izzy shook her head at her brother.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Simon and I️…it’s not like that. He’s with Maia,” she explained, surprised by the hint of disappointment in her own voice.

Her brother caught on, feeling slightly guilty.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Isabelle shrugged.

“Now what do you mean you ’took care of’ Simon?” Izzy asked once again.

Alec sighed deeply, taking a moment before speaking.

“I️ told him not come near you again,” Alec stated simply.

Izzy raised an eyebrow, knowing that her brother was either lying or not telling the whole story.

“And…?”

“And…I️ may have punched him…repeatedly…and threatened to kill him,” Alec added, realizing how extreme his measures were as he recounted the events out loud.

Isabelle’s eyes widened in shock. On one hand, she wasn’t surprised, but, on the other hand, she couldn’t even believe him.

“By the angel, Alec!” she scolded.

She then shook her head.

“I️ need to go find him or call him, or something,” she expressed, beginning to make her way out of the room.

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Alec called after her.

At that, Isabelle whirled around, shooting her brother an icy death glare.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna argue with me right now,” she snarled bitingly before turning back around and exiting, closing the door loudly behind her.

Chapter Text

After opening the blood bag in his hand, Simon just stared at it for awhile. He knew he should drink it as he hadn’t eaten anything since he’d fed from Izzy in the Seelie Court a few days prior.

It’s not like he hadn’t tried. He remembered Raphael’s words from when he’d first turned, noting that he needed to feed before he became dangerous. He couldn’t stand the thought of being a danger to innocent people: it was the last thing that he ever wanted.

Still, whenever he tried to, he just thought back to what had happened and all of the pain that he must’ve caused Izzy and how it never would’ve been an issue if he wasn’t a demonic creature that fed on the blood of the innocent in the first place. The thought of it made his stomach churn, and he was faced again with the internal battle that was sparked by him trying to do the most basic thing.

His train of thought was interrupted by his cell phone buzzing. With his free hand, he checked the notification to see that it was yet another worried text from Isabelle. With that, he poured the contents of the bag down the drain of his sink before tossing the bag into the garbage bin.

After making his way to the couch, he plopped down and began to read the most recent text message.

“Simon I’m really worried about you. Please text me back,” it read.

The vampire sighed. He didn’t really have the emotional energy to respond to a text message, but he figured that he should so he could at least put the Shadowhunter’s mind at ease.

He thought about simply saying that he was fine, but he knew that if he were on the other end receiving a text that just says “I’m fine” would only make him worry more.

“Sorry for not responding. I’m okay. Thanks for checking in,” he settled on. It was lame at best. “Thanks for checking in” sounded like something you’d send to a colleague after taking a work sabbatical. Still, he decided it was convincing enough.

It turned out that he was wrong, as he later heard a knock on the door. He hadn’t been expecting company, but he groaned and begrudgingly got up from the sofa before making his way to the door of his apartment.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Izzy as he wasn’t even sure how she knew where he lived in the first place. He then figured that she must’ve asked Clary.

“Hey,” she said. “Can I️ come in?”

Reluctantly, Simon nodded. He stepped aside, granting her entry before gently shutting the door behind him.

When she entered the room she stood awkwardly, hands folded in front of her. Briefly, she took a scan of her surroundings mostly out of pure curiosity.

“Is everything okay?” Simon asked, skipping the niceties. He knew he should probably offer her something or at least invite her to sit, but he knew that something was wrong and thought it best to just get right to the point.

“Actually, that’s what I️ wanted to ask you. I️ heard about what my brother did to you,” she explained, a twinge of guilt coming through in her tone.

Simon nodded, recalling the fist that swung at him repeatedly. He flinched slightly before bringing himself back to the present and answering.

“Yup, all healed. Perks of being a vampire, I️ guess,” he replied, but a part of him was still somewhere distant.

The Shadowhunter tilted her head, giving Simon a stern look.

“You know that’s not what I️ meant,” she said.

Simon shrugged.

“It’s really not a big deal. He’s just protective of you. I️ get it,” he said. He couldn’t find it in himself to be angry at Alec for wanting to protect his sister. If anything, he found himself beating himself up over being the one who she needed to be protected from in the first place.

Isabelle nodded.

“I know, I️ know. But, what he did to you…Simon that wasn’t okay,” she responded.

With that, Simon looked down at his feet, unable to look the other in the eye when he said what he did next.

“It’s nothing I️ didn’t deserve,” he mumbled. That was the entire reason he had even taken the beating in the first place. He felt that he deserved it.

Isabelle gasped. She took a step closer to Simon before placing a hand delicately on his shoulder, causing him to look up.

She shook her head.

“Simon, that’s not true. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” she said.

Simon pressed his lips together, fighting back tears. He shook his head, taking a step back and away from her touch.

“I️ bit you,” he stated, his voice wavering and filled with both regret and shame.

Isabelle exhaled.

“Because you had to. You would’ve died if you didn’t,” she said.

Simon shrugged, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Then maybe I️ should’ve!” he exclaimed.

Isabelle’s eyes widened in horror. She could hardly even believe what he was insinuating, and it was frankly concerning to say the very least.

“Simon!” she nearly shouted in alarm.

He then took a deep breath, calming himself before looking down at his feet again and shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I️ don’t know where that came from,” he said earnestly. It was true. The words just sort of slipped out in the heat of the moment. He wasn’t suicidal, not really. At least, he hadn’t been actively thinking about hurting himself too much.

Isabelle exhaled, folding her hands in front of her face before flattening them and pointing toward Simon. He could hear her nervous heartbeat and he wanted it to stop. He wanted to think about literally anything other than the blood pumping through her body and the fact that he hadn’t eaten. She then spoke, snapping him back into the present moment and their conversation.

“Please, just promise me you won’t try anything. And if you even start to think like that you’ll call someone. Okay? You know you can call me or Clary or Luke or…”

“I’m fine, Isabelle. Really, I️ am,” he assured.

She swallowed the lump in her throat before nodding.

Simon placed a hand gently on her arm, looking her directly in the eyes.

“I’m sorry. I️ didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.

Izzy shook her head.

“Don’t apologize. I️ just wanted to make sure you were okay,” she explained.

Simon nodded.

“And you? I️ mean, how are you holding up after everything?” he asked.

Izzy took a shallow breath, collecting herself before responding.

“I’m okay,” she answered pensively, as if she really had to think about the question.

Simon clenched his jaw, swallowing the lump in his throat. He still felt awful about what he’d done. He had seen his own mother’s struggles throughout her battle with addiction, and it was something that he would never wish on anyone.

“Izzy, I️ am so sorry-“ he began.

She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, I️ told you don’t need to apologize. I️ really am fine. I️ promise,” she assured.

It was then that she received a notification on her phone. She checked it and then sighed.

“Is everything okay?” Simon asked.

She nodded.

“Yeah, I️ just need to head back soon. Are you sure you’ll be okay?” she responded.

He nodded.

“I’m fine, really. You don’t need to worry about me,” he said.

“Okay. Well, in that case I️ bet get going. See you around,” she said.

As she headed out, a big grin appeared on Simon’s face.

“Make sure to send Alec my best!” he teased.

Izzy rolled her eyes, but she was happy to see that the vampire was still himself. She chuckled a little bit before closing the door behind her.

When the door shut, Simon sighed in relief before collapsing on the couch.

Chapter Text

Alec jumped up from where he was seated the moment he noticed his sister’s eyelashes flutter. He was at her side in a second, holding onto her hand.

She opened her eyes to the ceiling’s fluorescent lighting, sluggishly turning her head toward her brother, groaning slightly with the pain. It didn’t take her long to recognize that she was in the infirmary of the institute.

“Izzy, how do you feel?” Alec asked. It wasn’t until after the words came out that he realized that it was a relatively stupid question.

“Sore,” Izzy replied plainly.

Alec nodded.

“They were able to extract all of the demon poison, but they said that you might still be sore for a while,” he explained.

With that, Izzy began to prop herself up with her elbows, being careful as to not cause herself to be in any more pain.

“Hey, hey, what are you doing?” Alec asked, concerned.

“Leaving. You said that they extracted all of the demon poison,” Izzy said matter-of-factly.

Alec sighed, pinching in between his eyes with his index finger and thumb, trying to think of what to say to his unbelievably stubborn little sister.

“Iz, you should probably wait until you’re officially discharged,” Alec explained.

Isabelle rolled her eyes.

“I’m fine, Alec,” she insisted.

Alec sighed deeply. He shifted awkwardly, looking at his own fidgeting hands for a moment before meeting his sister’s gaze again.

“No, Izzy, you’re not. You haven’t been fine since the incident at the Seelie Court,” he remarked.

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. The “incident.” He meant her relapse.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she inquired defensively.

Alec gave her a sympathetic look.

“Look, I know you hate it when I️ get on your case and that’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just really worried about you. You haven’t been yourself lately,” he said.

Isabelle sighed. He was right. She hadn’t been herself lately. She was slipping, and that’s what landed her in the infirmary in the first place.

When she didn’t respond, Alec continued to speak.

“I know you feel like you have to deal with everything on your own but you don’t. I’m here for you. You know that,” he said.

Isabelle smiled slightly. She knew that she was lucky to have Alec, even if he could be overprotective and an asshole.

“Thank you. I️ appreciate you being there for me, I️ really do. But I’m really just trying to move forward,” she explained.

Alec pressed his lips together and nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the medic entering the room with a clipboard in hand, examining it.

The medic cleared her throat.

“Alright Miss Lightwood, it seems that you’re pretty much all set. We just need to discuss rehabilitation,” she said, looking up at the siblings.

Isabelle shook her head, confused.

“How do you mean?” she asked.

The medic chuckled slightly.

“Oh, don’t worry, nothing too intensive. Just seventy two hours of no training, a week of light training, another week where you work toward getting back to full training, and then after that you can begin to resume your field work,” she said.

Isabelle raised her eyebrows, eyes wide with surprise.

“You’re joking, right?” Isabelle said.

The whole “rehabilitation schedule” sounded like mundane bs to her. She was a Shadowhunter; she could handle a little demon poison.

“They’re just extra precautions to make sure you’re fully recovered before you fully resume normal activity,” the medic explained, maintaining her calm demeanor.

Isabelle scoffed.

“Extra precautions? Why? Because you have to make sure that nothing happens to the head of the Institute’s baby sister?” she remarked sarcastically.

“Izzy,” Alec cut in sternly. “Calm down.”

Isabelle shook her head.

“Don’t tell me to calm down! I’m sick of being treated like I’m fragile,” she said.

It was true. She didn’t need her brother beating up her friends or extra monitoring from medics. She knew how to take care of yourself.

Alec looked at the medic.

“I️ am so sorry-“ he began.

“Don’t you dare apologize for me,” Isabelle cut in, her voice as cold and sharp as shards of ice.

“So, is now a bad time to talk about pain management, because I️ can come back late-“ the medic began.

Alec shook his head.

“No, please, go ahead,” he said, shooting a glare at his sister to keep her quiet. She complied.

The medic cleared her throat once again.

“Okay so I️’m prescribing a once daily dosage of yin fen,” she began.

Alec opened his mouth to say something, but Isabelle spoke before her brother could get a word in.

“I️ don’t need it,” she said.

“Are you sure, because-“ the medic began again.

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine,” Izzy said, proceeding to get up.

The medic placed a hand out in front of Isabelle, blocking her.

“Wait, I️ can’t just let you leave,” she said.

“You were just about to discharge me, so sure you can,” Isabelle replied.

The medic opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Isabelle’s brother before she got the opportunity.

“Look, I️ will personally make sure she follows your…thing. Just let her go,” Alec said.

Isabelle rolled her eyes, annoyed by the fact that she was being spoken of as if she weren’t right there. Still, she chose not to remark on it, deciding that she’d probably given the poor medic enough grief for one day.

“Fine. I’ll make sure to get the proper paperwork to you, then,” she said before exiting the room with a grunt.

Alec sighed.

“Izzy…I️ think we should talk,” he said, breaking an uncomfortable silence.

Isabelle turned around to face her brother. She shrugged.

“And what, exactly, do we need to talk about?” she asked.

“Whatever’s going on with you,” he replied.

Isabelle scoffed.

“I️ told you that I’m fine, okay? I️ don’t need you smothering me or beating up Simon or anything else. Yes, I️ relapsed, and yes, it was hard, but I️ don’t need you to treat me like I’m made of glass all of a sudden. I️ can handle myself, okay?” she said.

Alec pressed his lips together and nodded.

“I know. You are so strong, and I know that. I️ just worry about you. You know that you don’t have to be strong all the time,” he said.

Isabelle shook her head.

“I️’m a Shadowhunter, Alec. And a Lightwood. Yes, I️ do,” she replied.

She then turned around for her back to face Alec before walking away, trying to figure out how she’d be strong again this time.

Chapter Text

Isabelle threw another punch, attempting to power through the pain. She knew that she wasn’t supposed to be working this hard during her week of “light training,” especially not at two o’clock in the morning, but she just needed to do something to try and feel like herself again. Besides, she couldn’t sleep anyway so she figured that she might as well train.

She threw another punch and then another with a kick here and there. She then touched her right hand to her left shoulder, in too much pain to continue. The over the counter pain medication that she’d been taken had done next to nothing. Her mind then began to wander to the one thing that could take her pain away…

Another punch.

Power through the pain.

Another one.

You’re stronger than this.

And another.

By the angel, you’re a Lightwood!

One more, that time too much. She cried out in pain as she collapsed on the floor. She looked up at the ceiling, attempting to catch her breath. Her eyes fell closed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She was supposed to be stronger than this. But she wasn’t.

After a few minutes of just lying on the floor, she forced herself up, because that’s what she does: she gets up and keeps going no matter how much it hurts.

She took a deep breath before throwing another punch, letting everything out, even as the pain got worse. She then swung a little too hard once again and hissed in pain before clutching her shoulder.

“‘Light training’, huh?” a voice said from behind her.

Izzy jumped slightly, startled. She really was off her game. She spun around to see Jace entering the room.

“Jace, what are you doing here? It’s like two in the morning,” she remarked.

Jace rose an eyebrow.

“I️ could ask you the same exact thing,” he replied.

Izzy sighed.

“You know why. This is the only time I️ can train without Alec finding out. Besides, I️ couldn’t sleep anyway,” she admitted.

She felt a bit more comfortable confiding in Jace as he wasn’t as quite overprotective of her as Alec was. He wouldn’t beat someone up for her because he understood that she could do that all by herself. Also, Jace was much more willing to bend and even break the rules than his straight laced parabatai.

“I️ can’t sleep either,” he admitted, his cocky sarcastic demeanor gone and his voice soft. “Not since…everything.”

Izzy’s lips came together in a thin line as she nodded. She didn’t comment on the ambiguity of his statement as she knew exactly what he was talking about. They were all happy to have gotten Clary back, but he’d been through a lot in the process.

She decided that it was as good a moment as any to change the subject. After all, he was clearly there to get his mind off of things.

“Well, I’m headed out, and if you say a word to Alec your dead,” Isabelle said.

Jace chuckled slightly, putting his hands up by the sides of his face.

“Hey, you know I️ won’t say anything,” he replied.

“Good,” she replied, turning around and heading out.

“Goodnight,” Jace called after her.

“I️ wasn’t here,” she replied without turning around.

—

Izzy took a shower, and then ended up texting Simon. Simon ended up being awake, and she needed to get out of the Institute to clear her head, and one thing led to another and somehow ended up at his apartment in the middle of the night.

From a logical standpoint, the Shadowhunter was well aware that it was a bad idea. Simon was there when she relapsed, and was also pretty much the reason for her relapse. That would make him a walking reminder, right? Meaning she should stay about from him, right?

And yet the dorky vampire had a certain effect on her. Through his bad jokes, rambling nonsense, and pop culture references that she only half understood, he managed to make her forget everything bad in the world. Not to mention those sweet brown eyes…

Alright, and maybe, just made, she had a slight crush on him. But that was between her and the Angels.

Besides, it’s not like she was doing anything wrong. They were just talking and talking some more and never quite running out of things to talk about.

Well, that was until Maia came up. It was in passing really, but the mention of the name itself caused Isabelle to stiffen just a little bit.

“Oh, so uh…how is she?” she asked, repeating her mantra “don’t sound jealous” mentally to herself.

Simon seemed to stiffen as well, jaw tightening as he slowly nodded.

“Uh she’s good, I️ think. She seemed to be last time we spoke. We uh…sorta broke up?” he said, his inflection making it sound like a question despite it being a definite fact.

Isabelle nodded.

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” she replied, her mantra changing to “sound sincere.”

At that, Simon shifted slightly closer. His gaze changed and became more intense in a way that made Izzy’s face feel hot all of a sudden. The vampire’s eyes flickered briefly to the shadowhunter’s lips and back to her eyes, but the motion was so quick she couldn’t tell whether or not she imagined it.

“Are you?” he asked softly, his gaze unfaltering as he looked into her eyes - into her soul.

Isabelle swallowed, trying to maintain the composure that was hanging by a thread. Of course Simon, clueless, oblivious Simon, had to pick that exact moment to pick up on signals.

She couldn’t help but be honest. It was something about the way that he looked at her.

She shook her head slowly.

“No,” she breathed.

There was a certain tension building between them, one that Izzy broke as she cupped the vampire’s face and pressed her lips against his. He didn’t pull away. In fact, he did the opposite, leaning in closer as both mouths opened, his hands finding her waist.

They made out in a frenzy, Simon’s hands coming up to her forearms as he began to kiss her neck. She began to feel the pain in her shoulder coming back and couldn’t but imagine Simon’s fangs dropping into her skin, making all of her pain go away.

“Bite me,” she whispered, caught up in the moment.

Those words caused the vampire to immediately withdraw, letting go of her and creating distance between them. Isabelle hated the distanced and wished she’d kept her mouth shut.

“I’m sorry. I️ should just go,” she said, standing, her face flushed with humiliation.

Simon was still speechless and didn’t say a word as she rushed to the door and closed it behind her.