Archive of Our Own ^beta

Remus sat in the pew in deep contemplation. He had many errands to run and chores to finish. His duty to the church helped him block out the outside world when it all became too much. And yet. Dread crept into his heart at the thought of the last item on his list. The confessional. A lump in his throat formed at the thought. The man who had tormented his dreams. The man who he had been calling out for in the middle of the night, despite having no name to cry.

The time came for him to enter the booth at the back of the row of wooden pews. He forced himself not to glance to his side. There were several people milling about. The foot traffic in the cathedral had nearly tripled in the last month due to the site being declared a historical monument. It was deservedly so, the stain glass windows were almost five hundred years old and they had a few pews form the original congregation. History was all around him, from the hymns he sang during mass to the very organ that accompanied them. This, while being a good thing for the local economy and growing congregation, also made it extremely difficult to suss out who was turning his insides to jelly on a bi-weekly basis. Not that he would. The confessions were purposefully anonymous and it would be wrong of him to break that trust.

He took his seat and took a deep breath. His heart rate kicked up when the squeak of the door signified a member of the church entering the booth next to him. Remus found himself feeling let down when a woman spoke in a soft whisper. She expressed fear and mistrust in the Lord and Remus couldn’t help the pang of loneliness in his gut when his own doubts were voiced. He absolved her and told her to focus on one task at a time.

“Remember, God may let us fall far before He sends a message for the faithful.” She cooed and he could hear her scratching a nail raw in the bench. “Everything happens for a reason, my child. Nothing is by chance.” His own words echoed in his head. And yet the reasons for his torment were evading him.

“Forgive me, sir,” He jumped when a familiar timber wafted through the grate, slamming his head on the wall. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He groaned unceremoniously. The man laughed and it was like honey. Sweet and thick and… Remus was getting distracted. The man had taken to calling him “sir” instead of the usual “father.” It was purposeful and like a pavlovian effect, Remus felt his groin grow hot.

Oh my god, he thought and chastised himself. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

“May God, who had enlightened every heart, help you know your sins and trust his mercy.”

“Amen. Bless me, sir, for I have sinned.” The man’s voice was barely above a whisper. “It has been three days since my last confession.”

I know because you told me about that sex toy you bought. Remus sat back, mortified. The thought had sprung forth with no prompting. Among other things. He grabbed onto the bench in order to keep his hands busy.

“First things first, I have not honored nor respected my parents.” The man said and he sounded agitated.

Was this an actual confession or once? Remus knew of some domestic issues in the elite circle. If this man was a child of those families he would not blame him for being angry at parents like that. “God understands that task can be one of the most difficult at times. Distance often makes the heart grow fonder,” he added, trying to be helpful.

The man barked out a laugh. “Uh huh.” He murmured something about the circumference of the earth not being enough distance and Remus had to suppress a laugh.

“Anything else?” Remus prompted. If this man was actually going to unload instead of spewing the dirty talk he usually did, maybe Remus could actually enjoy this for once. He could be of use, which was one of this goals not just for the church but in the lives of others.

“I mention my parents because they found my- um collection, well my mother specifically.” There was a slow soft clicking from the other side of the grate. Remus leaned in and caught a glimpse of the man’s lower half through one of the holes. He was unzipping his fly. Remus bit his lip. He couldn’t look away and something in his gut told him he wasn’t supposed to. It was like time was moving in slow motion. His hand drifted to the tent in the front of his dress pants.

“C-Collection?” he asked watching as the man slipped his lithe hand tantalizingly slow into the waistband of his boxers. As if he knew he was being watched. Remus looked away then, staring at the floor in front of him, his eyes wide. Surely he’d violated the anonymity. But then again…had he? He hadn’t seen the man’s face.

“Y-yeah,” his voice was stiff. “I have pictures of this guy I’ve been fantasizing about…and pictures of guys who look like him…doing things.”

“What kind of things,” Remus asked distracted by his own immoral actions.

“Oh really,” the man smirked. Remus slapped his hand over his mouth as it finally registered what he’d said. There was a smile in the voice when he spoke again. “Quite frankly. I’d rather show you than tell you.”

A small zip told him the man had, at the very least, fastened his trousers again. “Oh thank God-”

But Remus could hardly get the words out before the man stepped into HIS side of the booth. Remus stood and the tightness of the space caused him to brush his chest against the other man’s, accidentally feeling his hard nipples. The man actually moaned. Remus was speechless. He was down right gorgeous. A renaissance painting of a man with pale skin that contrasted stunningly with his night black hair. His eyes were like shallow pools and Remus felt the real danger of falling in. His perfectly angled jaw line and rough stubble actually made Remus’s mouth water. “Sir I…” Remus cocked his head to the side. He recognized this man. Not just from the congregation or from several sermons he’d done. Sirius Black, the heir to a powerful family. He was Sirius, a childhood friend. They used to play in the garden together, rooting for worms.

“Sirius,” he whispered softly. “You really are something, aren’t you.” The man in question shivered.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say my name like that.” Sirius knelt in front of him then and Remus had to slap his hand over his mouth to keep from moaning. The sight of the man looking up at him. At his mercy. Yet with all the power. Terrified him and aroused him. Remus didn’t stop him when his hands tentatively reached out to the button of his dress pants. He didn’t stop him when the pants fell to his knees and Sirius put his tongue on Remus’s growing erection, mouthing him through his underwear. He certainly didn’t stop him when he pulled the waistband down over his throbbing cock. Remus put a hand against the wall desperate for something to ground himself with.

“Sirius, don’t,” he breathed.

The door to the other side of the confessional opened and closed. “Forgive me father for I have sinned.” Remus made a split second decision. He put his hand over Sirius’s mouth, half to stop him from making a sound and half to keep that perfect fucking tongue in his mouth, and sat back on the bench. He regretted his choice instantly because Sirius grabbed his wrist and sucked two fingers into his mouth. His heart jumped into his throat.

“May God,” his voice cracked. “Oh God.” Sirius’s eyes widened. His eyes traveled to his face with admiration, shock and pure unadulterated lust. Remus was dark red and the effect he was having on Sirius only served to stop Remus’s heart. He cleared his throat. “Who had enlightened every heart, help you know your sins andtrusthismercy.” The last part came out in a jumble of syllables as Sirius gently wrapped his fingers around Remus’s painfully hard dick. But the man in the other booth didn’t seem to notice. He began to babble about venial sin.

The last person to touch Remus like that- No he wasn’t going down that train of thought. Righteous anger flared in his chest. He had been doing the Lord's work. He had been faithful. Maybe this was God's way of providing him…thanking him- The air was swept out of his lungs when Sirius bottomed out on his cock. The mans soft locks falling against his thigh as he swallowed around the member in his throat. Remus ground his teeth to keep quiet. The moment only lasted seconds but Remus could have stayed in that moment for the rest of his life.

“Wrong things do not feel right.” He didn’t know why he’d said it out loud but the man on the other side sounded appreciative when he continued to the speak. Sirius pulled off and looked up at him once more. He reached up and ran a slender finger along Remus’s jaw. Remus leaned his head into the touch. Sirius sucked his lip in between his teeth as if the show of affection was ten times hotter than anything he’d done with those perfect swollen lips of his.

Which was absurd, Remus couldn’t help but think. Sirius was a devil and an angel. He was surely sent to tempt him but Remus’s head was so heavy and his thoughts thick with lust he couldn’t seem to find any wrong with that. Sirius sat back on his haunches and pulled a hair tie from his wrist, he put his long hair up in a perfect bun at the top of his head. Remus did not know he could be more turned on than he already was but somehow that did it.

“Father?” the man on the other side of the grate asked. Remus quickly absolved him and the man was off.

Sirius took hold of his wrist and guided it to his hair. “For leverage,” Sirius whispered and Remus’s jaw hit the floor. He showed him how to pull just right and Sirius was moaning against the inside of Remus’s thigh. No, no devil could make that sound. It was pure. It was made for sharing love. Sirius looked into his eyes. Remus nodded and those gorgeous lips were back on his cock. He was so close. One hand clenched the bench beneath him while the other grasped for purchase in the silky softness of Sirius’s hair.

Sirius knew exactly what he was doing. Remus said as much and Sirius’s shoulders shook as a silent laugh ricochet throughout his body. Remus was cuming then. Everything was hot. Too hot. There wasn’t enough air in the whole world for his lungs. He pulled at his collar and bit his lip as pleasure coursed through him. Completely distracted from anything that wasn’t This Feeling. Completely distracted from any doubt he had about the church or the congregation.

So distracted he did not hear the door to the booth open with a soft creak.

Sirius Black looked up at him then and used his thumb to wipe his mouth, dragging the digit slowly across his bottom lip as he did. He then straightened Remus up and stood. “Until next time.” He grinned and exited the confessional.

Remus caught his breath for only a moment before he burst out of the confessional after him. But Sirius was gone. Lost in the crowd of people. Most of whom did not notice Remus, who was red in the face and his hair moist with sweat. He searched the crowd and saw green eyes following him. Lily, a Sister new to the congregation carried a barely visible smile on her lips. Remus was thankful that she of all people had witnessed his actions. She was probably the one person in the whole church who would keep his secret.

However, when Remus turned back to the booth readying himself for the next confession his heart stopped. Walburga Black had just opened the door to the booth and was staring daggers at him. A vicious smile on her lips. She had what she needed.