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Chapter Text

"It's a miracle that thing goes. That civil war era tech is ancient." Poe spoke in hushed awe.

The young pilot had managed to wiggle his way under the defenses of Hans wife, earning him a mission to smuggle some loyalist tech, and earning Han a flashback to a certain blue eyed Jedi.

"Hey, I was not much older than you then." Han growled quietly. Poe shot him a quick grin, eyes as bright as his mothers had once been. There was no doubt he was Sharas son.

"Oh, pre-historic then?" He whispered cheekily, slipping into a service passage before Han could reply.

Shaking his head, Han followed. The passageway was tight and, reluctantly, Han had to admit he was more on the ancient side these days.

The nineteen year old was nowhere to be seen, no sound bar the hum of the ventilation system.

That's Kes shining through, Han thought.

The kid really had no other destiny than to fight and fly. Han prayed that the next generation wouldn't have to be so apt at warfare from such a young age.

"You forget why we're here?" A whisper in his left ear, and it took everything in him to not start.

Poe was behind him, same grin firmly plastered on his youthful features.

"How? Nevermind, stop mucking around, this is serious."

"I am serious, and so are these guys." Poe produced a small holo, filling up the small corridor with electric-blue light

Dozens of schematics for civil war weaponry, and new designs that seemed to have been built from these, flashed past Hans eyes.

Poe was indeed now very serious, and Han could see the eyes of an eight year old who lost his mother to the minds behind the plans.

"Shit."

"And this is only off an engineers portal. What's the top brass got?" It was a worrying question.

"That everything?"

"No, the General still wants us to hit up their fleet charts."

"Okay, watch it kid. When everything is going well, it'll all go wrong."

"Talking from experience?" The joke wasn't quite there, it was clear that the kid was still spooked.

"Alright, cool it hotshot. Lead the way."

Poe raised an eyebrow, he briefly opened his mouth before shooting back out of the corridor.

Muttering to himself, Han worked himself back into the passage they'd used to slip into the building through, when a sudden commotion made him pause.

"Where are the others?" Rough, unfamiliar.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Poes firey bite was unmistakable.

"You didn't come alone, scum. You're too young to be aiming for big game like us." This voice was smoother, carefully reigned in venom.

"Maybe I'm just that good huh?" There was a solid smack, followed by a muffled groan.

"Anyway, questioning me so loud like this, anyone I did come with would be long gone." Han felt his stomach drop. No, this kid wasn't going to lay down the wire on his watch.

"True. Your kind have little loyalty. However, I doubt they're going to leave what you took from us behind."

Han peered out, seeing what he could only describe as a stormtrooper - the very thought sending chills down his spine - and a whip like man, dressed in a variation of old empire uniform. Han was startled as the officer turned, he couldn't be any older than Poe!

"What? Couple of baking recipes? No one is going to come back for that. Unless your grandmother has the secret to the best chocolate-chip death star. Argh!" The kid slapped Poe, and Han saw red.

What the hell was that idiot doing? He should shut his mouth.

"You'll learn to watch that mouth soon, scum." The venom was flowing freer now, Poe was in trouble.

"Phasma, I'm sure one of your men can sought him out."

"With pleasure. But one thing." Another, much taller trooper joined the group. "Remeber your place Hux. You're little more than a flimsi pusher." The kid snarled, but held his tongue, clearly intimidated.

Han was forced to watch as Poe was dragged away from his reach. His time had taught he diving headfirst never worked. Pulling back, he fished out his comm. A confused growl eminated from the device.

"Yeah. The kid's in trouble."

Hans muscles protested the cramped space.

The thought of Poe's fate overrode these complaints however, a faint paternal need to protect him driving him forwards.

"I'm not saying shit." Poes voice, painfully raw, echoed down the ventilation shaft, and Han scrambled forwards.

Splashing water followed, and Hans blood went cold. They were torturing the poor kid.

"Chewie, plan B." Han didn't needs a reply, the brief spurt of static before the comm went silent was enough.

The sounds grew louder, and the desperation in Poes voice was getting worse.

"I don't know. Please...stop."

The hoarse begging was killing him. Han slid down the vent, wedging himself just before he slipped out. The scene beyond the slotted bars confirmed his worse suspicions.

A trough of water had been filled in the middle of the room. A trooper and an unfamiliar officer towering over the trembling teen.

"We know you took the key plans. Where did you hide them?"

"I gave them to someone else, I don't know!" Poe cried, only to have his head shoved under by the trooper.

Hans skin crawled as the teen thrashed violently. His hand twitched, longing to draw his blaster.

The thrashing lessened, and they pulled Poe back onto knees. The kid sputtered and gasped.

"Tell us!"

"Go shove a nerf up-" The trooper wrenched him back under. This time, the fight was waning.

Slower...

        Slower...

                 Slower...

A brief burst of static was the sign Han had been waiting for.

He dropped the rest of the way, busting through the ventilation cover. The trooper turned to face the intruder, but was distracted by the massive wookie bursting into the room.

The trooper was thrown into the corner of the room as Han squeezed off a few shots into the chest of the officer. Ignoring Chewbacca, Han pulled the kid from the trough.

Poe didn't respond, remaining limp in Han's arms; no air passing his frighteningly blue lips.

Gently laying Poe down, Han forced a few quick breaths down Poes water logged throat, provoking the response Han was longing for. The teen coughed violently, foaming water spewing from his mouth. Hand guided him to his side to stop him from swallowing it down agian.

"That's it kid. Breathe."

As the desperate gasps evened into more regular, wet pants, Han pulled the soaked kid into his chest. Clutching him like he was his own child.

Poe trembled badly, pinpricks of heat beginning to soak into Hans shirt alongside the cold water.

"Its okay kid. You did well. You did so damn well."

As Poes breathing grew more regular, Han dared to loosen his hold.

The kid looked awful. He was pale, and badly bruised. But what scared Han the most was the distant look in his eyes. The raging fire was nowhere to be seen.

Han shed his jacket, wrapping Poe in the warm, supple leather. The kid seemed way too small underneath, his clothes sticking to his skinny frame.

Chewbacca whimpered softly, and Poes eyes snapped up, his entire body trembling.

"Its just Chewie, Poe. Remember him? You two used to go exploring together." Han prompted softly. Poe nodded slightly, and Han squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Good good. He's gonna help you now, okay?"

Agian, a small nod.

Chewbacca carefully scooped up the teenager. Poe burying his face in the wookies thick fur.

Han didn't turn around, instead walking out of the busted down door. Not seeing the bloody remains of Poes tourturer painted across the floor.

Onboard the Falcon, as Chewbacca settled into the cockpit, Han helped a worryingly quiet Poe into some dry clothes.Bundling him up in as many blankets on the ship as he could find.

He was about to dig up a towel for the teens long, dripping hair, when he caught a glimpse of the distant stare turned his way.

Han cringed inside at the sheer broken look in the Poe red-rimmed eyes.Stopping in his tracks, he moved to sit beside him

"I'm so sorry Poe. That should have been me, not you." Pulling him close, Poe clung to him weakly, trembles still shaking his little body. 

"You're safe now. You're safe. "

Han couldn't count how many times he said those words on the return to the Hosnian system. Even long after Poe had slipped into an exhausted doze in his lap.

When they landed, Han didn't move. Instead he continued to run a hand down Poes back, the rhythmic expansion and retreat of the teens chest ensuring Han the kid was still alive.

They had reached him in time to save his life, but the damage was still done.

Eventually the medical team that had been called on board pried the teenager from his grasp, slipping on a much needed oxygen mask before whisking him away for further treatment.

Han didn't move still. Not until a hand touched his shoulder. He looked up to see Leia looking at him, lips pressed into a thin line.

"What happened?"

"I let them get him. They tortured him Leia, and I watched." He didn't realise his hands were shaking until Leia stilled them with her own. He looked up into soft brown eyes, those of his wife and the mother of their child. She understood.

Poe was only a year older than Ben, and had grown up along their son, running amok along the legs of the New Republic. Ben serving as a helpful distraction for Poe while he grieved for his mother. Kes Dameron often claimed his son would fall asleep better in a busy hanger, than any silent nursery.

Han eventually wound up in medbay as the night wore on, keeping vigil in a small plastic seat beside Poe's sleeping form. The med driod said the kid had a clean bill of health, but how he fared mentally was yet to be known.

Stars the kid was young. His face, although he was lean, still held a little baby fat around his cheeks. The med techs had trimmed away his ponytail, apparently upon Poes own request, but it had done little to make him look older.

A weak cough pulled Han from his daze. Poe stirred in his bed, eyes flicking as he frowned in his sleep. Gently, Han clasped Poes hand, running a thumb across the back of the now blessedly warm skin.

"It's okay kid. You're safe."

Poes eyes cracked open a little.

"Ham?" Han smiled at the butchered attempt at his name.

"Yeah kiddo, how are ya?"

"Hurt." He mumbled.

"I bet, you did well kid. I'm proud." Han hesitated. "I'm sorry."

"S'kay. Wasn't you, was them." Poe was slurring something bad, probably drugged him up to stop him causing trouble.

Han squeezed the teens hand.

"You're too good son, too good. Now get some rest."

Poe hummed, eyes closing slowly.

Han stayed by his side long after the pale light of dawn crept through the windows.

"General Solo... Hey Han!" Han peered down at the young man calling his attention.

At the bottom of the Falcon stood, bright eyed and mostly definitely alive Poe Dameron.

"Hey kid, how are yah?"

"Not too bad. Thanks to you."

"Hey I owe you big time kid. At least consider us even after that stunt you pulled." Han poked the air with his wrench.

"Yeah okay. Um, I actually came to give you back your jacket as well."

Han recognised the heavily worn leather of his oldest Alliance jacket. Back when it was still in its early days.

The patches on its shoulders had long since faded but it was still a good jacket in all. Even if a little too big for the shoulders currently wearing it.

"Nah you keep it kid, looks better on you."

Poe's eyes lit up. The teen always loved a good vintage piece.

"Thanks heaps Solo!" He waved a thanks. "I'll see you around."

The kid turned on foot, practically bouncing away.

"I hope so kid."

Chapter Text

Poe, Age 32

Poe had played off his bout of flu so well, that no one noticed until he passed out in his dinner that evening. Slightly panicked, Snap pulled Poe out of his barely touched rashions.

"Uh Poe? You there buddy." He patted Poes faces, brushing off the mashed potato stuck to his cheek. Glassy russet eyes blinked open, not really focusing on anything.

"You okay?" Poe merely hummed an affirmative, eyes closing again.

A slight fever was heating the mans ashy skin, and Snap could hear a slight raspy tone to his breaths.

"He's sick again." Snap sighed, letting Poe snuggle into his shoulder. The rest of Black Squadron began to clear their plates, preparing for a night of Poe-sitting.

"You're the designated cuddler this time Snap. I couldn't get away to pee for an hour last time." Jess pointing a finger at the sleeping man.

"I know, I know. I told you to be careful."

"He gave me the eyes!" She protested.

"You're just weak Pava. I'll go pick a kit up from medbay." Karé said, leaving the table.

"That means you're in charge of movie and snack supplies Pava." Snap stood, pulling Poe over the top of his shoulders. The pilot stirred a little and went back to sleep, much to Snaps relief. No one questioned why Snap had his Commander draped around his shoulders as he made his way to the officer barracks.

Poe worked himself into the ground so often they had a well practiced strategy to get him back to health, a small notebook kept the most important details jotted down in case he crashed when his squad couldn't care for him.

Snap fished out Poes spare card from his pocket and swiped himself in. He deposited Poe on the neatly made cot, before digging out a pair of pajamas from the mans footlocker.

Snap sighed as he looked at the worn out clothes. Poe had always been a massive fan of Rebel-vintage clothing, and in his time off always found some faded shirt and well worn jacket , but these were borderline threadbare.They hadn't had a chance check on him closely since the war went hot with the First Order.

"You gotta get changed." Poe opened his eyes and accepted the bundle off Snap before stumbling into his fresher. Snap found an old pair of running pants and t-shirt Poe had stolen off him in the past, before making himself comfortable on the bed.

It wasn't long after he settled Poe emerged, eyes half open as he shuffled to the bed. He crawled under the blanket and curled up at Snaps side, clutching the bigger man tightly.

There was a soft knock before Karé entered, moving over to her husband and their CO.

"Okay Poe. Little check up then you can sleep." Poe sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"You guys don't have to y'know." His voice was hoarse and crackly.

"No, but we want to" He consented to her running a scanner over him, revealing a low grade fever and throat infection from a virus. Karé nodded, bringing out a small auto injection needle."Okay, a quick dose and you can sleep." Poe hesitantly stretched out his arm, shutting his eyes.

Karé exchanged a quick glance with Snap. She mouthed out Tourture Driod.

Of course, there were still many hidden scars from Poes capture they had yet to discover.

Karé gave Poe a kiss on the cheek, and Snap coaxed him into laying down. He was fast asleep by the time Jess joined, wearing a fuzzy one piece and carrying a bag of snacks.

"Oh, what's with the grim faces? Is he okay?" She frowned.

"Another trigger from Ren. Needles." Karé explained.

"Ah damn. Better get B here in case... Where's his jacket?"

"Try the fresher floor." Snap suggested. Jess dropped the bag of snacks on the bed, fetching Poes comm. Karé packed up the med kit, sticking a small monitoring patch on Poes chest before settling in on Snaps free side.

"How come you never hug me like you hug Poe." She teased.

"Because this is the only way to keep him in bed. If I want you to, I can always just-"

"Ew Snap, too much info!" Jess growled, she dropped Poes comm on the bedside table. "B will be here soon. I got the projector. What do you want to watch?"

"No space dramas." Karé jumped in immediately.

"Not another terrible romance comedy either."

"Okay, we have old nerfboy films or a few action hero flicks. Oh there's one about a group of people on a planet that hasn't discovered space travel and they fight off some god from another planet. Apparently one can fly in some kind of armour he built."

"Sounds obscure but okay." Snap agreed.

Jess let the projector hover silently above the bed, slipping into the last of the space on the now very crowded bed as the opening credits rolled.

BB-8 took up sentry at the foot of the bed when he arrived, occasionally wobbling his head to check on Poe, wedged in between Jess and Snap, sound asleep.

Jess was the first to doze off, having eaten her way through half a chocolate block and and bag of marshmallows.

Karé followed with soft snores, head resting on Snaps shoulder. Snap began to doze too, the films end credits fading into the opening of the movies sequel.

The holo flickered through fast paced action and over acted drama, light playing across the rooms occupants. Darkness loomed as a long figure hovered in the air.

"Tell me where it is." A disembodied voice asked.

"I won't tell you a damn thing."

"Tell me where it is!" A staged electric shock followed by a fake cry of pain. Poe twitched as his dreams were filled with memories.

"Tell me where the driod is."

"Torture driod huh? How has that worked in the past?" A crackle before a tremendous bout of pain seized his muscles.

"Quite useful." The needle felt like a light kiss after the electric shock, the chemical washing away his perception of reality but not his grip, yet.

His mother, no the General, no his captor grinned at him in the restraints.

"But I have something greater in store". A figure was born from the shadows, cruel and looming, face hooded and masked yet still managed to sneer.

Words, that he could barely remember, then sheer agony. Pain that made him want to leave behind the very memories of his existence.

Poe woke up screaming, voice cracking under the strain. He was trapped. Poe fought viciously, he was suddenly free, hitting the cold ground. He scrambled to his feet, backing away until he hit something solid, a wall. A holo flickered in front of him.

"It's like that huh, I'll-" The image faded, Kylos ghost still hovering above him. A weight bumped into his shins softly, he looked down.

"B?" He was panting so hard his chest hurt. BB-8 trilled softly, crooning soothing sounds. Poes knees were weak and he slid down the wall. BB-8 nudged himself between Poes legs, still crooning.

"Poe? Hey Poe it's just us." Poe looked up, seeking Snap, Karé and Jess looking down at him.

"H-hey." He replied. "I… I freaked out, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Not your fault though." Karé shrugged her shoulders, taking a seat next to him. "We probably should have just left one of your stupid romantic operas on."

"Love Amongst the Stars is not stupid, it is a very beautiful and tragic masterpiece." He protested.

"Poe, he refuses to admit his feelings because he's worried the guy won't like his beard." Jess deadpanned.

"Beards are extremely important to ones identity Pava." His voice pitched up awkwardly and they broke into laughter.

"Snap back me up!" He beseeched the man.

"Poe, you keep shaving yours off. How can you pretend to be a beard ally?"

"I like my beard… Kydal keeps telling me I look like a sexy hobo, whenever I grow it out though." He pouted, scratching his stubbled chin.

"You wanna talk?" Karé placed a hand on his knee. Poe closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall.

"No. Not at all really… I gotta though, hey?"

"You don't have to, but its better then keeping it all locked up in here babe." She gently brushed her hand through his hair.

Poe looked at his squad, his little family, if there was anyone he could trust, it was them.

"Okay, but sitting down might be good."

Nodding grimly, Snap took a seat in front of Poe.

Jess, always looking to make people more comfortable, brought over Poes blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders. It was only then Poe noticed he'd been shivering, not entirely from the cold.

She then took up his left side.

"Okay um… okay from the start I guess. I had the map, but the Order shot my ship to shit before I could take off. I gave it to B, and stayed behind."

"They had troops on the ground. They… they were killing children for siths sake." He thumped a hand on his knee, seeing the bodies of the villagers dropping like flies.

"I had to fight. The map was safe so, I did my best. Ren… he can stop a bolt in midair. Did you know that? I didn't, I feel people should probably know that. Then, then he stopped me."

"Not midair, I was just running but, yeah he stopped me right next to that blaster bolt. They're really cool. Deadly." He realized he rambling, hands trembling in his lap. He placed them on BB-8s dome to keep them still.

"Yeah, they're like a ball of lighting. Then... he then took me on board. He wouldn't take off his mask-thing. Probably had like a pimple or something. "

"They took me on board the Finalizer, which is massive by the way. Like huge. Put me in the interrogation chamber. I wouldn't recommend that place at all. Its not very comfortable." Poe bit his lip.

He held his silence for a long time, trying to prepare himself to relive the nightmare.

"Its okay honey, you don't have to keep going." Karé gave his leg a light squeeze.

"No, I don't want to do this again. Lets just say, they are very uninspired. The driod, old, probably more likely to get a deadly infection than killed. They used electricity. Uh lots of it."

"They took a break, cuz I nearly swallowed my tounge. They injected this stuff... it hurt, real bad. I didn't talk though. I told them to shove their guns up their assholes but, nothing important."

"So they got him ." Poe took a few deep breaths.

"He. He didn't need me to talk. He just, he just opened my mind, my brain. He could see into me. He knew things about me, t-that I didn't know."

"Apparently, I'm force sensitive because of some kind of magic tree? Um, that's why they found me easily. I can't use it to protect myself, which is pretty shit, because, he took that memory of me and bb-8 on Jakku.

"And he left his filthy fucking fingerprints on my mind. His fucking voice in my ears. I- every time I go to sleep hes there and its like I never left." Poes trembling grew worse."

I thought... I thought I'd doomed everyone. Honestly. When Finn rescued me, I was in it for him. He needed me to escape, and then I thought I had gotten him killed too." Poe chuckled dryly.

"I wouldn't have gotten off that planet if I didn't keep hallucinating Leia kicking my ass for dying without fighting back... I really hate sand." His voice trailed off, and he curled in on himself. His stomach churning at reliving it all.

He felt Karé wrap an arm around his shoulders, Jess following suit and Snap wrapping his arms around the lot, BB-8 in the middle of them all. "You're safe Poe. We're here, and we're never going to let you go agian." If Poe cried, no one mentioned it.

One he'd settled enough, they managed to coax Poe back into bed; the wrung out pilot admitting he was tired. Again they all squeezed in together, Poe now clinging tightly to Jess, who despite complaining at length, was secretly glad he'd picked her.

They silently agreed to play Poes beloved and terrible romance film, given that it was one of the few movies he ever watched, and it was most definitely free of anything that could stir up distress.

It wasn't long before Poe was snoring loudly, safe under his teammates watchful eyes.

Chapter Text

"A toast to the biggest hotshot ever to grace the Academy.' Flight instructor Ezekiel clapped Poe hard on the back, making him choke on his mouthful of beer. Poe mumbled a thanks, looking over his shoulder to where the other recruits were drinking and dancing. He looked back to the table of Academy brass and top students he'd been dragged to. They seemed more content on reliving their best moments but Poe wanted to party.

"I'm just going to-" Poe tried to slip away, but Ezekiel pulled him back.

"Come on kid, not every day a new recruit beats the top record in their first sim."

Poe knew that, he knew who's scores he broke.

"Please Captain, I really need to pee." He whispered.

Ezekiel flushed face brightened a little more. "Oh, sorry Private." He finally relented his grip as another trip down memory lane started at the table.

Poe angled his way towards the bathrooms but cut back towards the bar. Hidden behind the central pillar, no one on the table seemed to notice where he went. Sighing heavily, Poe slipped onto a stool. It was mostly crowded with people waiting for the bartender, or buzzed, hot under the collar recruits hooking up for the night.

"Long day kid, what can I get you?" The bartender was older Twi'lek with wise eyes, a single green Lek thrown over his shoulder.

"Your cheapest beer with a shot of your strongest whiskey."

"You're a little skinny to be drinking like that son." The bartender began to pour anyway.

"I'm a colony kid, Yavin four."

"Yeah, no kriff kid. Core planet recruits go expensive and fancy; usually go broke before the get wasted."

Poe raised an eyebrow, looking at the group of fresh-faced recruits well on their way to being wiped.

"Ah, the new recruits with their going away money." The Twi'lek responded, handing Poe the two glasses. "Just pay for the whiskey, I know who you are." Poe dropped the credits with tip in the bartender’s orange hand.The man gave a nod before moving on.

"Yeah. That's the problem." He murmured to himself, dropping the shot into his beer.

The Twi'lek served him four more of the same combination, letting him go free after the second. Comfortably drunk now, Poe danced on his seat, happily bobbing his head along to the grungy music.

"Coffee or water now kid. Gotta keep your nose clean." The Twi'lek said as Poe went for his sixth drink, seventh if he counted the half-beer he drank earlier.

"M'kay, thanksss Vaarum." Poe stood up; teetering has his head swam. He hadn't been this drunk since he'd broke in to Lulo’s stash when he was sixteen. The man had been furious but decided that with Poe’s nearly three-day hangover and the work he promised to do on his ship, he wouldn't tell his dad. Poe had a funny feeling that he knew anyway. The grin he had when he'd offered Poe a glass of wine when he got home, only for Poe to turn green, said it all

"Its Vaar Uum kid."

"Thanks, varrumkid."

The Twi'lek rolled his eyes as Poe staggered away from the bar. He really did need to pee now. Poe had to stop a few times on this trip as the world began to tilt a little too much, but he was still upright when he got to the urinal. Leaning against the wall, Poe closed his eyes as he relived himself. He realised he'd finished a while ago when everything started to get a little cold. Zipping himself up, Poe moved to wash his hands. He paid no attention to the door opening as he turned on the tap, nor to the looming figure in the mirror.

Poe was hauled off his feet, world blinking out momentarily as his head smashed the mirror behind him.

"Here's the little shit. Hotshot pilot huh? Who did you suck off to get those scores?”

Poe’s drunk and battered brain couldn't make out the angry face behind the arms holding him up.

"N-no one, I didn't-"

"Bullshit, I worked my ass off just get to three spots under Antilles. You're here one day and you smash him, Bey and Skywalker all in one go? Total crap."

"Bey-" A fist connected with his face, blood filling his mouth.

"Shut it, runt. Tell me what you had to do to beat those scores."

"It's easier to fly without a head up your arss." Poe bit back

Now he was flying. Into a wall. Poe hit the ground, a sharp snap followed by a cry as white-hot pain lanced up his arm. Poe curled in on himself, the dirty bathroom tiles sticking to his bloodied cheek.

"Look, can't even fight back. Bet he would've pissed his pants if we had of gotten here sooner."

More than one then. How many people did he inadvertently piss off? His mind was pulled away from the problem as he was hailed with blows. Poe resented whoever decided steel-toed boots were to be mandatory amongst Academy recruits.

"Get off him, you fucking vermin." A new voice stopped the attack.

Through a swollen eye, Poe saw his attacker dragged away.

"Three on one, you were always a weak bastard Skale." There was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, followed by a wail of pain.

Not entirely sure if he was facing a new threat, Poe tried to push himself upright. Again, the pain in his arm returned, combined with the throbbing in his skull and the aching of his ribs, he thought he was dying.His stomach contents clawed its way out of his mouth, acrid and watery as he coughed it up over the floor.

"Oh, you're a right mess you are, kid."The stranger approached Poe slowly, hands raised in a placating gesture.

"I'm Temmin Wexley. Vaar said you'd had a few and sent me to come check on you."

"D-Dameron." He tried to reply, breath catching in his bruised chest.

"Ah shit, you're the golden boy." Wexley cursed as he carefully helped Poe stand.

Poe groaned more at the nickname than his injuries. Wexley helped Poe lean against a wall, seeing the man cradling his arm.

"Don't call me that." He replied hotly, despite his injuries.

"What did they do?"

"I flew fair." Poe gritted out; it was easier to breathe but still hurt to talk.

"What?"

"The sim, it wasn't rigged; I flew it fair." He insisted, trying his best to stare the stranger in the eyes.

"Okay hotshot, I believe you. But you need medical stat." Wexley slipped an arm around Poe’s good side as his knees began to buckle.

"Hey Wexley, what's - oh boy." Pava, a third-year recruit, was waiting outside the bathroom.

"Gimme a hand Jess, watch his arm. Think it's broken."

"Hey, isn't he?"

"Shh, not now."

Wexley moved Poe forwards, but he whited out.

He was in and out.

Club falling silent as two recruits carried a wounded third.

Angry XO's demanding explanation for Poe’s injuries.

Hastily ushered into a bed by a frantic nurse.

When Poe finally came back to his senses, someone was shining a light into his left eye.

He tried to move his hand to push the annoying thing away, but it was too heavy. The light disappeared, and Poe was left blinking away the afterburn.

"Private Dameron, I'm Doctor Quin, you're in the Alliance medical wing. Do you remember what happened?"

The view of a stern-faced man took shape against a sterile white background. He shook his head, regretting it as it throbbed in protest.

"Don't move. You were assaulted by three other recruits, Sargent Wexley and Private Pava brought you here. Said they found you on the bathroom floor bleeding."

"I don't remember. " Poe replied, voice drowned out by the ringing in his ears.

"It's not uncommon. They did a number on you Dameron, but you'll have to report to tribunal first thing in the morning. Apparently, someone had decided to lodge some pretty big allegations against you." The doctor flitted out of his vision for a moment."Until they decide whether or not you can stay, best I can offer is a cast and some painkillers."

"Just want to fly" Poe mumbled sadly. This seemed to soften the doctors face.

"Hey kid, I'm sure you'll come out on the right side of all this. Till then, get some rest. Those two will be back to pick you up in the morning. "

Poe obliged, sinking against the pillows.

"I'll have to warn you, the Private is worse for wear. He's tacked on quiet a nasty hangover to his list."

Wexley nodded thoughtfully. "Well it couldn't help that they smashed his head into the bathroom mirror. The whole thing was shattered when I got there."

"Explains the lacerations to his scalp. Either way, I've patched him up as much as I'm allowed. Get him straight back here once it's over. He needs a good bacta soak."

"Yes Sir."

Jess and Temmin saluted the man before slipping behind the nearby curtain.The young man they pulled from the bathroom floor last night was sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed. He had his eyes closed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. The meager nights rest clearly hadn't done him much good.

A thick swath of bandages had been wrapped around his head, a cast and sling pinning his arm to his chest. His young face was more bruise than skin, one eye black against his pale cheeks.

Wexley felt lucky he'd only gotten a split lip himself.

"How are you feeling hotshot?" Wexley greeted.

He stiffened, eyes shooting open before landing on them. Wexley could see by their glassy appearance, it was one hell of a headache to nurse but there was also a great deal of determination lying there.

"You saved my life." The man said quietly. " Thank you." He offered a hand, which Wexley took without too much force. The guy still had a firm grip, well-developed callouses scraping against Temmin’s hand.

"Dude, I thought you were dead when I found you. I must give you credit, you're a tough one. Train you up right, and you'll be throwing them into bathroom walls."

A crooked smile split the man’s pale face.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you." He said turning his gaze to Jess.

"Pava, Jessika Pava. I'm the one your hero here was hitting on when he went to rescue your skin." She said, earning a wince from Wexley.

"Oh, sorry." He said, having forgotten about what was happening before the bartender had approached him about the Private.

"Oh no, that's okay, I don't go for guys anyway." She shrugged.

"You could have said something, would have left you alone, at least buy you an apology drink." Wexley groaned, embarrassment hot on his cheeks.

"I was enjoying it, personally. I wouldn't have led you on much further though."

"Right well we've got a tribunal to attend. Ready hotshot?"

"Just gotta get my boots on. Call me Poe."

"I'll stick with hotshot for now if it’s all the same. You're pretty fiery kid, even when you can't see straight."

Poe merely rolled his eyes, slipping off the bed. He paused, eyes closing as his free arm wrapped around his ribs. Wexley started forwards to help when Poe's eyes opened again. He fumbled with his boots, managing to snag the loop at the back and pull them on.

When it came to his jacket, however.

"Um." He shrugged on the sleeve on his right arm but was unable to pull the other over his shoulder.

Wexley obliged by pulling it gently over the sling and cast. He latched the zipper at the bottom and tugged it halfway up so it wouldn't fall off.

Poe was a little flushed by the time Wexley stood away.

"T-thanks."

"No worries hotshot. Let’s go."

Poe was silent for the journey to the tribunal. He sat in between Temmin and Jessika, silently fiddling with a ring that was on a chain he was wearing.

"You married already?" Wexley said after watching for a few minutes.

"Ha, no this is my mums. She died when I was pretty young, so dad gave me this to remember her." Poe said softly, caressing the metal carefully.

"She must have made a pretty big impact while she was around."

"You have no idea." Poe said, leaning back against the transport headrest. The rest of the journey was silent.

Once they arrived, Poe scrambled to a nearby bin, chucking up a large amount of bile.

"You all good hotshot?" Wexley asked as the man returned, his whole body trembling.

"Yeah, just a few too many drinks."

More like the kid was scared out of his mind.

"Try to play that one down in court, yeah?"

They were ushered into the hearing quickly once they entered the building.

Dameron looked awful under the bright lights of the hearing room. Again, he had his head in his hand, skin turning rather grey. The three final year recruits that had picked on Dameron were huddled together behind their bench. Too scared to look at the freshman who'd they'd taken out their failures out on.

Skale’s left eye sported a beautiful shiner, and Wexley licked his split lip, feeling no remorse.

Jess was excluded from the meeting having not taken part of the brawl. She offered Poe a quick hug before they went in.

"Good luck." She whispered. Poe responded with a shy smile.

Something about the kid made Wexley want to protect him, he'd seen the same instinct in that other recruit as well.

So, when Poe stifled a whimper saluting the presiding General, Wexley wanted to punch that smug asshole all over again. Flight instructor Ezekiel and Captain Moreau also entered the room. Ezekiel joined on Poe's other side.

"At ease Gentlemen." General Xian stated as he sat down.

Wexley could hear the hitches in Poe’s breathing as he stood with his one good arm behind him.

"Master Sargent Ezekiel, you were the first officer Sargent Wexley reported to?"

"Yes sir."

"What state was the Private in when he was brought to you?"

"To speak frankly Sir, he was beaten within an inch of his life."

"What state was the Private in, prior to the incident."

"It had been several hours since we had last spoken, in that time he mostly kept to his own."

"Sargent Wexley. You found Private Dameron?"

"Yes Sir, I found him in the restroom with Skale and the other two attacking him. The bartender had confided in me that he suspected that he was to be targeted."

"Mr. Uum? Well known amongst the Alliance. His testimony stated the Private was well under the influence." Xian raised a brow.

"Yes, though he was harmless. I sat a few seats away on the bar, he was quiet and let immediately once he was cut off. Kept to himself.

There was a lengthy exhalation from Poe.

"Very well. Private Dameron?"

Poe saluted.

"No need Private. According to Dr. Quins report, those ribs have suffered enough." Xian’s face didn't change, but some tension seemed to ebb away.

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, Private, what do you recall? Take your time, concussions impede memory."

Indeed, it took a moment before Poe started.

"I was…washing up when they got me. I remember breaking my arm, and that they were angry - saying I rigged the sim. I swear sir, everything I did was off my own back, I've been in starfighters since I was a kid." Poe’s voice shook a little as he spoke.

"Ah, sim scores. The pecking order among the new blood. From my understanding you performed exceptionally well Private. Congratulations. However, this is a very serious accusation being made here today." Xian paused, studying Poe.

Poe, for his part, stood ridged under the Generals gaze. Chin up, eyes staring straight back.

That's it, kid.

"Private First-Class Skale, Private First-Class Firu, Private Second-Class Ari. Your acts against your fellow recruit have been caught on camera. Give me some damn good reasons as to why I should allow three pilots, who are willing to attack an unsuspecting man with his back turned, into the Alliance Navy. Captain Moreau?"

"Sir, it's without question that these men should be punished for their actions. Though I do request a formal investigation of the simulation equipment be performed."

"Captain, you know as well as every other senior officer in this Alliance, that those sims are inspected before and after every run."

Moreau nodded, face unreadable. Snap guessed he was dragged out to help put on a defence agianst his wishes.

"Still, we performed a thorough battery of tests on the equipment as per any serious claim requires. The only issue encountered was the targeting system held a thirteen percent inaccuracy. Private Dameron, you have been cleared of any suspicions."

Wexley could have sworn Poe went giddy with relief, with the way the kids body shifted dangerously to the side. He seemed to regain his composure immediately as Xian kept ploughing onwards.

"Ari, records hold you've kept your nose clean until now and didn't actually harm the Private, you're grounded for the following thirty days."

There was a small muttered affirmative.

"Firu, clearly you didn't learn from last time. You're suspended for the remainder of the year. You'll be lodging an application to continue in front of a board, when you return. Understood?"

"Sir, yes Sir."

"Skale. I am disappointed to have to do this to a skilled pilot so close to graduation. However, the reports of harassment that keep appearing on my desk were building up for an inevitable expulsion. This incident however has given me the satisfaction of dismissal with immediate effect."

Wexley let himself indulge in a small smirk. Skale had been a thorn in the side of anyone who dared to challenge his rank in the pecking order for years now.

"The severity of your actions against Dameron serves as grounds for prosecution by civil authorities of Hosinian Prime. The findings of this tribunal will be submitted against you when this goes to a public trial next week. Tribunal dismissed."

Wexley saluted as the General left. Military police immediately ushered the two groups out separately, leaving Wexley, Ezekiel and Dameron standing in the tribunal foyer.

Ezekiel shook Poe’s hand firmly.

"These things are always terrible business kid, but you're the first who I didn't have make an effort to defend. Hope you stick around."

"Thank you, Sir. I'm just glad my name was cleared."

Was that all the kid was worried about? In hindsight, in the short time this had all taken place, Wexley realised not once did he have anything to say against Skale. All he wanted was to prove he was innocent. 

"Hey Dameron!" Pava called as she joined the group. "How'd it go?"

"Good, I'm cleared." He answered with a toothy grin.

"And that snot?"

"Probably going to jail." Wexley added with vindication.

"Oh kriff. He can kiss his high score goodbye." The group agreed.

"Well Dameron," Ezekiel placed a hand on Poe's good shoulder. "I think you're in good hands. You did a good job, I'll bet she's proud."

Wexley and Pava watched curiously as Dameron’s eyes grew misty, before he hid it by ducking his head.

"Anyway, I'll take my leave, seems you've made fast friends here son." The Sargent nodded before making his way out of the foyer.

"Medbay for you, asap." Wexley said as Poe lent wearily against the back of a waiting bench.

Pava produced a datapad as the trio entered the transport back to base.

"Thought you might want to see the real thing yourself. They were confirmed a few minutes ago."

"Wasn't really about me then." Poe said, cradling the screen in his lap to free up his hand.

"You heard what he said. You're the last in a row of his victims. You're just the first he's ever gotten physical with."

Poe didn't respond. He scrolled to the top of the scores list; but instead of choosing his name, which Wexley expected anyone would after fighting to keep it there, he brought up the public stats and files of one of the oldest scores in the system.

Rebel A-Wing pilot and civil war hero - Shara Bey.

"You a fan of Bey?" Pava asked, looking over Poe’s shoulder as well.

"Kind of. I guess you could say that, though I think my dad would argue."

Wexley was about to crack a joke when he caught a proper look at the file image. Looking up at them was a mop of black curls framing familiar eyes.

Bey died during a mission to assist the Jedi Luke Skywalker. Leaving behind a widow and a young child. It was a part of history at the Academy. All top pilots were.

Wexley understood. He hated the New Republic for years, just as much as the Empire, for taking up his own mother’s time. Yet here he was, working for the Alliance, training his own recruits like he had been trained by Wedge.

"Your dad married her, didn't he?" Wexley ventured.

Poe gave a small nod and Pava’s mouth dropped open slightly

"Yeah. In the middle of the war. I was born right at the end. She never liked talking about anything but the stars when it came to her time in the Rebellion."

Now it all clicked.

"You didn't think you'd be flying against her ghost hey?"

"No, I had some clue. Everyone in the colony did. She taught me to fly when I was five, from the moment I could reach the yoke. I've never stopped since."

Explained why some of the brass like Ezekiel seemed to be watching the kid. Almost all the pilots here had a shadow to follow.

Seemed Poe’s was to be a bit bigger than the others.

Poe was dead on his feet by the time they managed to get him back to medbay. His pale cheeks bore a high flush, his boots scuffing the floor as he walked.

When Quin came out to see them, Wexley thought the doctor was going to have a stroke. "Private, sit down immediately." Quin said brusquely as he took stock of the swaying recruit.

Poe sunk into one of the clinics chairs with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Absolutely ridiculous they refuse treatment. We're taxpayer funded." Quin muttered, producing a scanner. "Lucky I even got to bind your ribs before you left. Now we're going to have to dunk you for at least a day."

Wexley was certain that Poe was dozing off.

"Hey Dameron." Wexley patted the kid on the back and didn't receive a response.

Quinn shook his head. "Let him sleep. We've got to prep a tank anyway."

The doctor shooed them away from the sleeping recruit before they had a chance to protest.

"Hey Temmin?" Wexley looked over his shoulder to see Pava approaching the lunch table.

"What's on Jess?" They'd stayed in contact after that night, Wexley could always appreciate someone with fire.

"Dameron's out. He was back in class today, already giving everyone a run for their money."

"Probably wants to catch up on lost time. How is he?"

"A bastard wouldn't pull his head out of a book long enough to talk to him. He's in free flight sim now though."

Wexley picked up his empty plate, moving to the drop off.

"Free flight? He hasn't been in class since his aptitude test."

"Yeah, but Ezekiel smuggled in two whole weeks’ worth of work. Docs let him do it to keep him in bed" Jess tsked," Technically he's way ahead of all of us."

Wexley wondered if the man was a tenacious academic or just looking for the quickest path into a cockpit.

"You should see him fly. Come on, he's been in there since fitness training."

The pair rushed to the viewing platform for the sims. Dozens of screens were lit up with recruits training in varying star fighters. The most common on screen were X-wings. Almost every recruit had stars in their eyes for the new T-70's, but only a few of the thousands from several Alliance planets ever made it.

Poe seemed to have a different goal entirely. Instead he was running a Y-wing sim. According to the viewport, he was re-enacting bombing run that killed the entirety of Gold Squadron during the Battle of Yavin.

The small monitoring camera used to talk to students in the sim showed Poe intensely focused on the simulated trench before him. Laser turrets bombarded the image of the Y-wing on screen, and Poe flinched like he had taken the hit directly.

Poe pulled the virtual ship out of the trench, climbing above the turrets and banking around to the start of the trench. Instead of dropping in this time, he maintained altitude.

"What's he doing? That's the closest drop in point." Temmin frowned.

"Shh."

Poe opened a barrage on the turrets instead. The lasers not doing a great deal of damage to the towers, but enough to disrupt the targeting system.

Gold leader managed to get within range to fire before Poe was shot down, ending the sim. Wedge would love this kid.

Immediately as Poe hit the reset switch, a massive lockout warning appeared.

Poe banged his head against the console, cursing quietly.

"Move your butt recruit." The overseer called down the comms channel.

Poe disappeared off the viewport, emerging stretching his arms on the viewing platform a few moments later.

"Jess, can I use your card?" He asked the moment he lay eyes on the pair.

"Not even a hello, you ass. And besides, there's a limit on sims for a reason."

"But just one more run and I'm sure I can get it."

"Give it a rest Poe. Sims aren't going anywhere." Wexley added, to which Poe visibly deflated.

"Yeah… I guess." He then seemed to remember himself. "Sorry, I never really thanked you properly for saving my skin."

"Ah, Skale is a total ass. But I have to say, I don't mind you kid." Wexley crossed his arms.

"You sound so old when you call me that, Wexley." Poe cringed, Wexley rolled his eyes.

"Yeah whatever hotshot. Call me Snap."

"Sure thing."

"Tell ya what, you're not half-bad. You'll do well as long as you stay out of trouble."

"I promise, had more than enough to last me for a long time."

"Well, I'll be there if you ever need me."

Looking back on that day, Snap wanted to punch himself.

Chapter Text

Poe threw a guilty look over his shoulder as he stole a few biscuits from Snaps toolbox stash. He was tired, starving, and his sweet tooth was aching bad.

He inhaled the first two biscuits, wishing he'd gone for a more satisfying bite at the cafeteria, before he heard Snap approaching.

He stuffed the third in his pocket, and brushed away the crumbs. The heavy chocolate taste was still thick on his tounge as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Snap, got anything sweet? I need a sugar hit."

Snap looked at Poe skeptically.

"You haven't already raided my locker?"

"You have a locker stash?"

"Its Karés, and not after this conversation." Snap replied, deadpan.

"Damn. Jess?"

"Poe, you don't know why they have it stashed, ask."

Poe frowned, he rarely kept sweets, but his personal, *decent*, coffee supply was hit frequently, it was a fair trade off.

"Okay, consider these fingers heavy." Poe sighed, debating if he was petty enough to relocate his well known hiding place.

Resistance coffee was atrocious however, he wasn't quite sure he could tourture everyone else.

Sighing, he farewelled Snap, dragging his feet to the security debrief.

Snap kicked himself for not checking earlier. He'd almost, literally caught Poe with his hand in the biscuit tin.

"Karé?" He said timidly. Knowing she was going to have his head for it.

"Snap?" She glared at him from over the book she was reading.

The one she barely had time to touch.

"I fucked up. Bad."

"What?"

"Our edibles, the ones Jess made?"

Karés face fell.

"Poe." She whispered. "How many?"

"Three."

"Oh, we're all screwed." After a beat. "Snap why are you here?"

"He's in debrief."

"Oh I'm taking your manhood for this Snap!" Karé growled, throwing the book down on her bunk and jumping to her feet.

"It's been awhile now. Going to bring a whole new meaning to High Command."

The couple practically sprinted to centre command from the barracks.

The moment their faces appeared, Leia was onto them, unshering them back into the hall

"What did you give him?"

"We didn't, he got into a locked box." Snap grumbled.

The Generals lips formed a thin line.

"Look, I'll pretend I don't know why hes like this, but you two are cleaning up this mess. Including finishing this debrief."

"I'll stand in Ser!" Karé said immediately, slipping into command.

"I'm guessing it was your stash then Captain Wexley."

"Regrettably Ma'am."

The Generals lip twitched, before she grew serious again.

"He's in my office. And he's pretty damn high."

Snap found Poe laying face down on Leias floor. And he'd hoped maybe he'd fallen asleep.

"Poe?" He called cautiously.

Poe rolled onto his back, a relaxed grin plastered on his face.

"Hey." He replied, looking at Snap with one eye closed. "It's. Really nice here."

"The floor?"

"Yeah. Feels good. Smooooth"

"I bet." Snap couldn't help but grin as Poe let his hands glide along the cool floor.

He was probably only just getting the start of it now, it had been about an hour. Snap wasn't quite sure how he'd handle the full dose. For now though it was time for some fun.

A thought struck him. Poe *loved* stars.

He quickly sought out the shutter controls for Leias viewport, while Poe stared at the ceiling with intrigue.

Snap could only guess what he was seeing, three edibles must be wreaking havoc on his untrained metabolism.

"How you doing buddy?"

"Leias mad at me Snap." Poe said wistfully.

"You're her favourite Poe. She loves you." Snap reassured, finding what he was looking for under a stack of papers.

"She does? But she's always cranky."

"That's because you get yourself in trouble alot." Snap said pointedly, knowing all nuance was well over Poes head at the moment.

"Oh"

Snap pressed the button, and the shutter slid up silently, revealing a vase expanse of purple nebula intermingled with an explosion of stars.

"Look over here buddy." Snap said, moving to pull Poe upright.

The look that crossed Poes face as his eyes fell on the star scape, was one that Snap would pray he would never forget.

Dark eyes mirrored the stars as they grew wide. Unshaven jaw dropping open in a silent gasp of pure wonder.

"Wow." Poe whispered. He curled up, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin in his palm. Snap couldn't help but wonder if this was how Poe had been as a child.

"It's amazing isn't it."

"Yeah."

This was worth the trouble he was in with Karé.

Poe was winding himself too tight these days, the pressure of these loyalists, the looming cold war. It was becoming increasingly rare to see Poe take a break.

Snap heaved a sad sigh, Poe really needed the no man is an island speech. The pilot would crack one day, and with the responsibility continuing to build up, it was going have shockwaves.

Snap was pulled back to Poe, as the pilot burst into a fit of giggles.

He was squinting at Snap, poking his tongue out, before he stifled another bout of laughing behind his hand.

"Having fun there?"

And for Poe, that was the funniest joke in the world.

He rocked as he laughed himself breathless, tears streaming from his eyes.

Snap couldn't help but chuckle, remebering the first time he'd gotten Poe high back when they were in the Academy.

The skinny, long-haired teen had been grumbling about his strict father, when Snap tempted him into sharing half a joint.

Poe had turned into one of the happiest stoners Snap had ever known. Nearly getting them caught as he laughed loudly in the storeroom.

"Oh man, you are so high."

Poe gasped, trying to respond.

"I know!" He wheezed, before laughing agian. "Because I'm in space."

After wearing himself out, Poe stretched himself out on the floor like a cat.

His eyes flickered back to the viewpoint.

"I'm hungry." He pouted.

"You're always hungry Poe." Snap said, thinking of how much the pilot could down on a normal day.

Poe bolted upright, grinning like a child.

"Ooo." His hand delved into his pocket, fishing out an all too familiar biscuit.

"Oh no you don't." Snap frowned, grabbing it from Poes hands.

"Hey!"

"You stole this from my tool box Poe. Do you have any idea what's in these?"

Poe was still frowning at him. Snap sighed, hiding the sweet in his own pocket.

"Nevermind, lets get something to eat."

__________

"Mmmmm" Poe moaned filthily, closing his eyes in bliss as he bit into another piece of fruit.

They'd wound up having an impromptu picnic on a catwalk in one of Ninka's hangers.

A fresh haul of fruit had come in that afternoon, and even while as high as a skyhopper, Poe had managed to charm the head of the kitchen into giving up some.

"How do you batt your eyes and everyone just bends over?" Snap shook his head in wonder.

This same man had just spent half an hour standing with his face jammed agianst an air vent because it "tickled".

"Easy. I get what they can't." Poe waggled his eyebrows.

"Wait, you smuggle?"

"Hmm maybe." He responded coyly.

"Nah, not you."

"Uh yeah. Coffee... cats… chocolate. " Poe listed before sidetracking himself with his food.

"Did you say cats?"

"No?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Hey, you two don't get to cause trouble then bail out." Snaps spine crawled with danger in a way only his girlfriend ever managed.

The catwalk vibrated Jess and Karés steps as they approached.

"I get stuck in a meeting and you have a picnic?" Karé added, raising a brow.

Snap tried puppy eyes but Poe worked his magic.

"Oh my god Snap! Angels!" He burst out cheerily.

"You high Poe?" Jess made a show of putting her hand on her hips.

"No." Poe tried to pull a straight face.

Jess remained silent, merely narrowing her eyes. Poe let out a snort, breaking into giggles.

"You're idiots."

Poe held up a pear, taking a gasping breaths.

"We're a pear."

Even Snap had to laugh. Jess chuckled and Karés face broke into a smile.

"That's not funny." Jess smirked anyway, taking the fruit.

Poes laughter kept growing, he doubled over sounding like a dying tauntan as he crackled breathlessly.

"Going to join me and giggles here?"Snap asked as Poe calmed down.

"Sit." Poe regained his breath, patting the old blanket they were using as a rug.

"It's soft." He murmured, forgetting the conversation as he spread across the blanket on his belly.

 Karé obliged after rolling her eyes, while Jess was happy to lean on the railing.

"So why is flyboy a highboy?" Jess asked as Poe indulged himself with the sensation of rubbing his face on the worn material.

"Yeah Wexley?" Said Karé.

"I don't know how he got in. I hid them in my toolbox and locked it last night. I was saving them for tonight." Snap pulled out the biscuit he'd confiscated from Poe earlier.

"He still had one on him."

"So he's eaten two?" Karé ran a hand through her hair.

Snap nooded.

"Leia said he started spacing out about an hour into the meeting, so he's been high for four hours. I thought you two smoked in the Academy."

"The three of us did, but Poe was always the first one high. Eats everything then passes out for like twelve hours." Jess said.

"He stopped when we moved into more regular real flight training. He was a real hardass in our graduating year. Wouldn't even touch a drop of beer, lest strip him of his rank." Snap explained..

"I'm here, meanies." Poe whined into the blanket.

"We know. We can't really miss you." Said Snap.

"You made me high." Poe took on an accusatory tone as he turned to look up at Snap.

"No, you shouldn't raid people's stashes without knowing what's in them."

"You steal mine!"

His crew looked at him stunned. The been under the belief that the amount their boss drank in a day he'd never notice.

"Stash for stash."

"Wait! That means you stole my cupcakes?" Jess gasped.

"Sock drawer? Yum."

"My chocolate." Karé crossed her arms. "That's expensive Poe."

Poe shook his head obstinately.

"Nah, it's not."

"He's the one who smuggles it all." Snap explained.

Karé looked absolutely scandleised.

"You should give me a discount!" She nudged Poes side with her toe.

"Noooooo." He responded childishly, he closed his eyes.

"All good bud?" Snap asked.

"M'dizzy."

"Probably got the spins cuz your so damn high." Jess shook her head.

Indeed, when they pulled him to his feet, his bloodshot eyes were completely glazed over.

They smuggled their stoned Commander into his room, upon which he immediately crawled into bed. They watched as he fumbled around with his blankets, rolling himself up into a cocoon.

"Here we have the rare blazed burrito." Said Jess.

"Wasn't that rare thirteen years ago." Snap set himself on the bed. "Okay, looks like I'm on come down duty."

"Damn right Wexley. You better want to have some good pictures if you want us to bring you dinner." Karé teased.

"Oh? Do or do not, there is no try." Snap said loftily.

True to word, Karé and Jess recived a picture an hour later. Poe had escaped his blankets, and was now sleeping with his knees underneath his chest, butt sticking high in the air. His face was buried in his pillow.

"Oh that's a good one." Jess snickered.

"Guess he redeemed himself." Said Karé.

Chapter Text

Poe stretched as he adjusted to the lighter gravity of Sunei. Leia had her barge adjusted higher than most others to keep her staff fitter.

"If they can run under this, then they can run further when we hit the ground." She explained the first time he was on the barge years ago.

Poe hooked a thumb into his belt, his plain dress belt that wrapped around his very uninspired green coat. The only lively colour the small, red rank pin on his chest.

Diplomatic assignment. He despised them.

Sunei needed an alliance with the Resistance. Their fear of the growing power of the First Order wasn't unfounded, and the Alliance Republic wasn't taking it seriously enough.

Poe really hated the phrase, history repeats itself.

"Cheer up Poe, you could be doing supply runs in the core worlds." Leia chastised as she stood beside him.

"You know me better than that." 

Sunei was a temperate, outer-rim world. A colony that flourished into a farming planet, with much of their economy relying on providing food to other planets. The Resistance was growing with mouths to feed and Sunei needed an army.

As far as Poe could see it, this should be straightforward.

"Spare me the complaints kid, I think it's just as pedantic same as you, but these guys have no muscles to flex. It's natural they're going to wave around what little power they do have. We go in, remind them that were real people. You're on the frontline more than anyone else Poe, it's why I need you."

"Excuse me, are you the Resistance diplomats?" A young man approached Leia and Poe cautiously.

Leia glanced at Poe, who nodded his understanding.

This one's mine

"Yeah we are, well the General here is the diplomat. I'm just her top pilot."

Leia rolled her eyes as Poe gave a charming smile.

"Oh right um, well." The young man started.

"Ignore him son. His heads jammed too far up his cockpit." Leia gave him a warm smile. The young man chuckled as Poe deflated.

"Now what can we do for you?" He tried to recover some pride.

"Oh yeah. I've been asked to show you my father's farm before the dinner."

"Then Commander Dameron here is your man." Leia gestured to Poe, who held out his hand.

"You can call me Poe, nothing fancy here buddy."

"Sari. You can call me Sari." He shook Poe's hand firmly.

"Good, I'll see you later Dameron." Leia levelled him a sharp look. "Don't cause any trouble."

"Who, me? Wouldn't dream of it." Poe grinned.

"Sari. You have my permission to hit him if he annoys you."

"Oh I- no I wouldn't-" Sari looked flustered, missing the dynamic between subordinate and superior.

"It's okay. I'll forgive you." Poe reassured as Leia left.

"You Resistance types are… different."

Poe belted out a laugh."That's the best way of putting it kid. We're all screw loose."

"Um. If you'll follow me. It's a bit of a ride." Sari gestured to a nearby, beat-up speeder.

"Lead the way Sari."

"I'm sorry. We did have a better one, but it got stolen last week by some pirates raiding the farm." Sari explained with a heavy sigh. Poe's heart went out for the kid, hopping foot to foot beside his smoking speeder.

"Hey all good buddy. I was a mechanic at my dad's shop before I joined the Navy." Poe explained, lifting the bonnet.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Not all pilots are from the core. I'm from a colony myself actually." Poe said shedding his coat."Let's see. Smells like your fusion drive is shot." 

"So what does the Resistance want with Sunei?" Sari blurted, clutching his hands tightly.

"Food."

"Wait. Is that all?" The shock in the kids voice made Poe turn his full attention towards him.

"Maybe grab a few people who are extra rebellious or want to help, but apart from that. Why? What do you think we're here for?"

"Well, most people think you're after the vanadium reserves."

"We have no way of processing raw ore, we're a splinter cell." Poe replied, returning to the engine.Sari looked stunned at the revelation.

"I never thought of that. Can't you sell it?"

"Not really. We don't have time to be digging dirt. Besides we're not the first order. If we needed vanadium, we'd just trade. Less risk of pissing everyone off."

It was likely this kid had his elders jamming his head full of thought stopping fear. The lack of local government response to pirate activities would only cement suspicions.

"Like buying out the Prime minister?"

Poe chuckled, it was refeshing to deal with blunt questions rather than dancing around with innuendos and concealed insults.

"Kid if we had that kind of money, we'd have stopped your pirate problem before we even landed."

"Why didn't you?"Poe used the time it took to fond the right spanner to think about an answer.

"Leverage, kid. The Resistance is starving, there's no guarantee that we'll get help of we don't have something to give in return." Poe confessed. "We're barley above a nuisance to the Order, but no one else is fighting back."

Poltics was a dirty game.

"Sounds..."

"Dishonorable? Manipulative? It is. I'm not going to pretend otherwise." He said as he loosened the holds for the drive heat sink. "Believe me kid, it makes me feel slimy."

"Then why do it?"

"We're the only thing left between peace and a new empire. My parents fought to see peace brought to the galaxy. My mother died for it. I want to see that it remains."

Heavy silence eclipsed them.

Poe inspected the heat sink closely. It probably hadn't been cleaned since the day it was installed. No wonder the fusion drive was cooking itself alive. Raised ridges of aurebesh confirmed what Poe had suspected. "Ah, Mench heat sink fusion drives. You'll never get one to run at full efficiency anywhere outside of Hoth." He stared at his greasy hands before shrugging and wiping them on his uniform.

"Best we can do is peel off the lid and let the wind do the job. Though I reccomend we only take it to the nearest shop. This heatsink needs to be replaced with something a little more modern, probably a Vira two or if you have a tight budget, jerry rig an Carni nine She'll be a little oversized, but nothing a plasma cutter to the bonnet won't fix."

"Really. That's all?" Saris face brightened considerably.

"Pretty much. Give me a hand."

The two quickly unbolted the engine bay cover, dumping it in the back-seat.

"Okay kid. Let's get going. It's getting late."

Poe kept the conversation away from its earlier route by regaling the kid with stories of his own youth.

"They did say the G's would be too much but I didn't listen. Ended up paying for it when I vomited all over my boots later on."

Sari winced, laughing. "That's gross."

"Yeah. One of my friends managed to convince everyone that I'd been sick before I went up. It took long time to pay that one off."

"Man, they always make the Resistance sound so scary. But you guys are weirder than us." Sari shook his head.

"Hey, weird is not a bad thing." Poe corrected as they pulled into the spaceport.

"Sure. I'll belive it when I see it."

"I'm right here!" Poe spread his arms.

Sari gave him an odd look, and Poe realised pea-green uniform wasn't the most badass thing he owned.

"I'll get back to you on that one kid. Anyway, good chat. Sorry we didn't see the farm." Poe apologised, climbing out of the speeder.

"It's okay. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Ah not likely kid. If all goes well, my team and I will be scouting for the nest of pirates causing your problems."

"I hope it does. Thank you Poe."

"No worries Sari." Poe went to turn away, but stopped. He patted down his pants, drawing out a few credits.

"This should cover fuel and a ride home if you're stuck." He lent over the seats and dropped the credits into the kids stunned hands.

"You said-"

"Look, the Resistance can spare some loose change to help out a decent kid like you. Don't think about it."

"Thanks."

"Take care kid." Poe waved to the kid as he took off.

Poe dashed to the spaceport hotel, realizing he only had half an hour before they were due to go to the diplomatic palace.

He grabbed his key and sprinted up to his room. Quickly showering to rid himself of the smell of smokey fusion drive.

He was hastily drying his hair when a knock came at his door.

"Arenen said you just checked in? So much for being on time." Leia said as he opened the door.

"Kids speeder broke down. Had to pull it half apart to get it working."

Leia crossed her arms, the material of her dress reflecting the light from his room. "I hope you made a good impression. Kids dad has alot of clout amongst farmers according to the minister."

Poe slipped out of his room, falling into step with Leia as she made her way to the elevator. "He seemed to think we were here to cash in on raw resources." Leia furrowed her brow as they stepped into the lift.

"Apart from food, isn't Sunei rich in mainly vanabrim and platinum?"

"Only moderately so." Poe responded. He was still unsettled with how certain the kid had been that the Resistance was seeking to exploit Sunei.

"Looks like we've had a nice smear campaign run against us before we got here. Force knows why."

"Could it be order spies?"

"Could be anyone Poe. Lets not get hasty."

"Right. Well I told him we only looked to offer protection for food. Seemed to come around eventually."

The elevator stopped and they stepped out, Leia taking Poe's arm.

"Good. It didn't seem to have too much affect on the talks either. Tonight we sign the treaty, and tomorrow you'll be back in the stars, doing your thing."

"That's if I survive tonight."

"Oh don't be so dramatic Poe."

"See, it's not all bad." Leia commented as platters of varying cheeses and cured meats were laid out before them.

This beat the hell out of rashions.

"I guess. I mean, I could just take these a go and sit in my hotel room and binge watch movies all night. That would be perfect."

"And abandon your General?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Poe sighed.

He understood the importance of events like these. Moments like these could just as easily as destroy the Resistance as any battle. He just didn't understand why he had to be involved.

A group of muscians moved on stage, starting up a soft but haunting melody. Poe could only catch snippets of the songs meaning, but it seemed to portray a great betrayal by someone the singer had risked their faith on. Poe picked at a particularly pungent, soft cheese, taking a hesitant bite when the three glasses of water hit.

"I'll be back. Have to use the little pilots room." He whispered to Leia, who in turn made a 'really' face.

Poe hurried to the bathroom. He regretted drinking so much water, but he felt too guilty drinking wine while his friends were off working.Besides, hydration was important, Karé drilled him whenever he drank too much caf.

Poe didn't put much thought into stepping through the overly ornate door. So, the figure moving towards him didn't immediately register as a threat.

Poe cried out as a sharp blade bit into his flank.

He looked up from where the blood began to soak through his shirt, into the eyes of a familiar young man.

Sari.

"Ow…. Why?" He groaned, grabbing a fistfull of the frightened kids jacket. Poe really had liked the kid.

"I- They- The treaty. My dad said I had to. The trip to the farm. I'm sorry. My dad…" He stammered.

Poe nodded, understanding dawning on him.

"Go kid." He pushed the kids shoulder, he was only doing what he thought was right. Small planets like these were hard to survive on as it was. A big, powerful force like the Resistance would pose a huge threat to their livelihood. 

"I won't say anything but-" Poe gritted his teeth, hand clutching where the hilt was flush with his skin. "- They're not as forgiving as I am. Don't get caught up in all this." Poe was sure Leia would see it as he would.

If he lived that long.

Poe shook his head, agian pushing the boys arms away. It was getting harder to stay coherent, but he needed to make sure Sari wasn't going to suffer for a mistake.  A dangerous one.

"I'm sorry."

"I know kid, I know. Force be with you."

Sari stumbled backwards through the door of the bathroom as Poe staggered back agianst the cold tile.

There was no way to keep this one under wraps. His comm was resting uselessly in pocket of the jacket on his seat, so he had no hope of discretely getting help .The exit to the building, the one he knew about anyway, was on the other side of the dining hall. That would most certainly give it away.

Leia was going to kill him, tan his hide and mount his head to put it on display as a warning for her next go to pilot.

Pushing his way out into the well decorated hallway, Poe forced more panic in his limbs. Honestly he was so familiar with pain and near death, this wasn't the worst he'd suffered. The wall he was leaning up agianst probably needed the extra support anyway. As he peered down the hallway, he saw the cermonial part of the union had begun. All eyes were turned towards the stage as Suneis minister, Dial, and Leia stood side by side, ready to make peace.He could wait, this would be a really bad time to interrupt.

Poe clutched the wound tightly, he didn't know much about medicine but he was sure the trickle of hot blood over his fingers was a little too fast. His eyes roamed for some solution, falling on a small service cart a few meters from the hallway entrance. It was stacked with clean silk napkins, ready for any guest who soiled their first.

If he could stop the bleeding, he'd be able to sneak off and bandage it. Leia could surely forgive him for missing the moment if it meant stopping an uproar. A quick glance down at his feet found a splatter mess on the timber; looking over his shoulder, he saw he'd left a trail.

Hm, that was going to be a little harder to manage.

Noticing his thoughts were spiralling off course, Poe hardened his resolve. Just get a napkin and he'd could hide it out in the bathroom or something. He pushed off, stumbling like a toddler taking their first step. Poe's limbs decided to play hooky as he neared his goal, his shiny dress shoe catching on the ankle of his opposite leg. He reached out to steady himself on the carts edge by instinct; succeeding in not only failing to halt his forward momentum, but to drag down a platter of cutlery with him.

The commotion drew everyones eyes to him.

Poe loved to pull stunts but hated making an undue scene at his own expense; gasps that rippled through the crowd as they realized that he hadn't been hitting the shiraz, made him cringe.

He tried to push himself back upright, waving off the looks sent his way.

"I'm okay, just tripped." His own voice sounded distant in his ears.

Everything went a little fuzzy.

"Sir! Please, stay still." Poe frowned at the man leaning over him. When did he lie down? The floor wasn't even comfy.

"Poe, listen, we're getting you some help." That was Leia. Her face was upside down, warm hand resting on his cheeks.

"M'kay." He felt light and hot, his grip on reality wavering.

"Why didn't you call for help?" Her brow contorted, pinching underneath the golden circlet gracing her face.

"Peace." He reached out to touch the broach she wore, a silver firebird, the mark of the Rebellion, the Alliance and now the Resistance  The cool surface grounded him, and he realised he was in Leias lap, someone wrapping a bandage around his torso.

He let his arm fall, dismayed at the bloodied fingerprint there.

"To save..." He started, closing his eyes. Don't tell her here! Tell her back on the ship idiot. "...peace." He finished, brain too mushy to think of much else.

"You're a fool Poe."

Poe merely hummed in agreement. He felt floaty. Nice and warm.

"Open those eyes Commander!" Leia ordered.

He felt himself being lifted onto a stretcher but he was too tired to care.

"To save peace…" The holo echoed.

Poe cringed at the recording as the broadcast went on to explain the purpose of the treaty.

"Why are they showing that? It makes no sense." He grumbled, glad to be rid of the sight of himself bleeding out as he pushed the device to the end of the bed.

Leia chuckled from beside his bunk. The hospital had released him to the care of Leias driod aboard her diplomatic barge. He was mostly healed, but on rest for the remainder of the journey.

"You've always been good at speeches Poe. Besides it's a great narrative. A loyal pilot, delirious from bloodloss as a result of an attempt on his life, still fighting for peace. "

"You let them!" Poe gasped, scandlised.

"Poe, you're protecting an assassin, I had to give them something." Said Leia, cutting him a hard look.

"I don't want to see this fail because of someones mistake. They thought they were doing the right thing." He countered. The kid was going to have to live with the punishment of failing. Less people on his tail the better.

"You're insulting their ability to protect their guests."

"They did fail though." Poes hand came to his side. How the kid managed to get a massive vibroblade in was beyond him.

Leia blew out a frustrated breath of air.

"Why won't you tell me?" Straightforward. About time.

"They'll kill them Leia. Why don't you understand? "

"That kid? The farmers son?"

"Leia please." He begged.

"Okay, I'll drop it. However, you need to understand how it looks for them."

"I'm not blaming them. I don't want an apology. I just want this damn treaty signed so I can get back to my squad."

"You tell them that." She said, rising from the bed.

Poe wished he'd played the sick card. He had a real reason. Stabbed was a reason.

His coat may have been ugly, but at least it had been comfortable. Now he had to don a stiff collared ceremonial robe from Leia's aides.

"Stop fidgeting." Leia chastised as Poe shifted in the seat beside her.

"I thought you'd done this part."

"They're ensuring you're not going to return with the entirety of the Resistance fleet at your command."

"My squad doesn't even listen to me." Poe grumbed, but Leia merely shushed him.

The orderlies began to shuffle in and take seats.The Prime Minister took seat across from Leia. Poe could read the waves of tension lapping at the heels of those in front of him;t he muscles in minister Dials neck stood out, and it was clear he had most to lose from this incident.

"Commander Dameron, I'm relieved, if not a little surprised, to see you here and so soon.: Dial started.

"Looks worse than what it was. Your medical staff are very talented."

"And He has sampled the best." Leia shot at Poe. He swallowed a retaliation. Really? Now of all times.

"I'd like to issue you an apology on behalf of Sunei"

"General Organa has told me of your concerns regarding the assassin. I'd like to alleviate them." Poe interrupted. The trip to the diplomatic palace had been quick but tiring.

Technically, he was still on bedrest.

"I assure you they were nothing but a misguided child. One that thought they were doing best for his people." 

Yeah, me and my assassin hashed things out. We parted as good friends. He thought ironically to himself.

"Very well. Lets talk peace."

As the meeting went on, Poe found verticality was agianst him. The painkillers were wearing off, and in his arrogance, he'd left the next dose on his bunk. It'll be brief he had convinced himself.

What were they talking about now? Ballet dancing? No wait- birds?

"We better resolve these talks General. Your offsider doesn't appear to be faring all too well." The ministers eyes were back on Poe, apprehension clouding his face.

"It's important for our leaders to know how to stop wars before they start. I'm sure Commander Dameron has learnt a great deal today, including his limits."

Poe ducked his head, embrassed that Leia was again, choosing now of all times to dress him down.

The minister seemed to relax however.

"I'm sure he's to make a fine leader in the Resistance; even though he's happy to let his attempted murders run free."

What was it? Had they set this up to add a figurative blade alongside the real one?

The assembly was standing, and Poe rushed to follow. Pain lancing through his abdomen.He huffed out a short breath, sweat gathering beneath his collar.

The Minister shook hands with Leia before extending his grasp to Poe, returning it with less strength than he liked.

"Get some rest Commander." The Twi'lek smiled charmingly.

Poe trailed behind Leia into the guests foyer adjoining the meeting hall. The moment the door closed behind them, Poe sagged against the wall.

"Are you okay Commander?" Leia surveyed her pilot, before nodding to her two aides. The pair darted from the room.

"With all due respect General, my wound is about the only thing still intact." He lamented.

Bacta helped immensely, without it an injury like this would have him out for a month versus days. The tradeoff was the great deal on energy is sapped from its host to do days of work in hours.

"Poe, you're reckless. Too reckless. I need a man who can make the tough decision, but you can't plow through every situation like it's a training sim. You need a few hits to get your head on straight."

"I'm just a pilot Leia." He said softly.

Leia shook her head.

"Poe, I swear you'll be the death of me if you don't take yourself out first." She halted her lecture, seeing the pilot was nearly as pale as the cream coloured robe he wore.

Poe for his part felt he was doing an outstanding job resisting gravity, but didn't object as Leia pulled his arm around her shoulders.

"Come on kid. The transport will be waiting."

Poe tried to limit the weight he put on his Generals shoulders, but she was alot tougher than she looked. By the time he'd hobbled to the little transport road running through the palace, Leia was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

The two aides from earlier helped him climb into the transport, where he gratefully sunk into the firm seat.

His eyes were closed before Leia even made it into the seat next to him. She said nothing as Poe rested his head on her shoulder, merely wrapping a warm hand around his own as he dozed off.

Poe would never know about the holo taken of him drooling on Leias shoulder.

Chapter Text

"I'm going to eat that if you don't." Suralinda startled Poe out his foggy daze.

He looked down at the bowl of luscious fruits he'd managed to land that morning.

They were an insanely rare treat in the Resistance and were his favourite pleasure. Right now, the very thought of so much as touching the faintly sweet assortment made his gut churn.

"Sure." He handed the bowel off, glad to end the assult of its perfume on his senses.

Suralinda stared at him hard, prompting him to respond with a moody.

"What?"

"You okay Dameron? You have a reputation for a fresh food weaknesses."

He'd gorged himself into a food coma on Yavinian fruits, accidentally prompting a search and recovery mission.

"Fine, just tired." It was mostly the truth.

He'd woken in the middle of the night somewhat uncomfortable around his naval, and it had only grown worse into the morning .

"Come on, lets get some fresh air. I'll save this."

Poe stood up, grimacing at the pain around his naval.

"Poe, you shouldn't ignore when you're in pain."

"Just, stomach bug Suralinda. I'll be okay." He reassured, breathing slowly.

"Should get some rest then." She said, still looking doubtful.

"I will actually. "

"I'll check on you." She warned as he left the table.

Poe made it to his room on autopilot. His head was light and his room felt like it was several degrees below standard temperature. He started towards his cot on shaky legs ,when pain in his stomach burst into a sharp stabbing pain that sent him to his knees.

Curling up, he tried to breathe through the pain.

The day wore on in a fauge of agony. Poe had only managed to crawl to a bin in the corner of the room, throwing up before collapsing beside it.

Some unknown force was sawing open his belly with a serrated knife.

He'd been stabbed, but this was worse. Way worse. At least you passed out with bloodloss. The slow agony peaking in waves, each time easing into an ache that was worse than the last time.

Sweat tickled the back of his neck. The sharp pain in his side felt like his muscles were being constantly grated. The smell of vomit in the bin was acrid, but he couldn't summon the strength to move.

Poe needed to move. 

He muat have passed out at one point, as he was suddenly being manuvered upright off the floor.

"Come on Dameron, help me out here."

He tilted his head back, Suralindas black hair brushing against his head.

"No, please, it hurts." He begged.

"Come on you baby." She hauled him to his feet, Poe faintly noting everyone had a habit of picking him up like he was a child. Suralinda wrapped an arm around his waist, it was clear the squads mothering had rubbed off on her too.

She steered his hunched form as he hobbled to the medical wing.

"Why did the General make you Commander when you don't have the sense to get something like this taken care of?" She said, a scowl showing the points of her teeth.

"I-it got bad suddenly."

"I should have left you." She muttered as she bourne him into the medical wing.

"Ah, our number one customer." The medbay chief nurse said ironically.

The wisened Kiffar frowned as he wordlessly sunk to his knees.

"He was bad this morning but I found him curled up on the floor." Surlinda explained as Hinan moved to him.

"Come on kid." She and Suralinda helped/dragged Poe onto a bed, where he curled up on his side.

"Sorry dear, I'll take care of him from here out." She reassured Suralinda.

"Thanks Hinan."

Poe listened to the sound if his squadmate leaving.

He didn't realise his eyes had drifted shut until Hainan was coaxing him onto his back. He was obstinate until he felt cool air brush agianst his stomach.

"Hello, little bloated are we?" She commented, hands ice cold agianst his skin.

Something about her nature always made Poe feel at ease. She could tell him

"I really can't shift it." He sucked in a sharp breath as she pressed down on his side.

She ran a checklist of questions while the scanner hummed.

Poe wanted to sleep, but Hainan was poking and prodding him.

" 'Nan." He grumbled, curling up agian.

"Don't start. Now listen, you've got an infection in your appendix." She cut in over his protests.

He cracked open an eye.

"My what?"

"Appendix darling, its a vestgal human organ, you don't need it. You gotta get it removed otherwise it'll make you very sick."

Her warm hands took up one of his, she began to prep him with an all too familiar routine of needles and lines

"That's stupid." Said Poe as he stared up at the ceiling, tryin to ignore the uneasiness .

"I know, but it's a quick surgery, I promise."

Poes heart dropped. Surgery?

"How long am I grounded?"

"Only until the swelling goes down, but darling you're not going to feel like flying for a while anyway."

The pain rose in his side once agian and he wrapped an arm around it, panting.

"Okay, please." He begged. Anything was better than this.

"Sure thing. She gently ran a hand through his hair, helping him throw up into a sick bag.

Poe only realised that it was serious with how quickly he found himself changed, prepped and counting backwards into the darkness.

"-th me?"

Poe winced as the bright lights assulted his eyes.

As the medbay came into focus, so did the face of Hinan.

"There you are." She gave Poe warm smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Gross." He murmured, stomach heavy and tight.

"That's okay. Your fever is down, so I want you to drink a bit of water and then get some rest."

Poe liked the sound of that, eagerly obliging though his stomach protested.

The moment Hinan stood back, Poe dropped his head back onto the pillow, eyes drifting shut.

Poe was thrilled when Hinain let him out of bed late the next morning.

"Don't push it darling. The stitching healed overnight but you'll feel a little unwell for the next day or two."

She was right. The very bland breakfast of oatmeal was about the best he could manage and his lap around medbay had him feeling a little weary.

Dressed in a warm tracksuit someone had brought for him while he was out, he waited for Hinan to rid him of medbays various montiors and lines.

She gave him a quick scan, and checked the batca plasters on his stomach.

"Okay, there we go. You've officially underwent the only appendectomy performed in the Resistance."

"A what?"

"Removing your appendix sweetie." She reminded him. He could barely remember the lead up, just so much pain.

"Oh right. What's the point of them anyway?"

"No one knows. You can still fly, fight and -".

"Hinan-" He cut her off growing red.

"Feed Poe, eat like normal. What did you think I was going to say?" She gave a saccrine smile.

"I- nothing, it was nothing." He dipped his chin.

"Now, sweetheart. If you feel any pain or can't stop throwing up, straight back here"

"Thanks 'Nan."

"Hey hotshot, how you going?" Snap announced entering into medbay.

"Ah Mister Wexley, right on time."

"I want to go to bed." Poe responded tiredly, rubbing his eyes in a child-like fashion.

"What did you remove agian? His attitude?"

"Cram it in your rear Wexley." Poe replied gruffly.

"No, still there." Hinan shook her head, removing the identifying braclet from Poe's wrist.

"Ah, that's good, real good." Snap, crossed his arms.

Poe, despite his own self-pity at the time, ccould read the older pilot better than any open book. Karé must have made him wait as long as he did.

"Keep an eye on him Wexley. Poe-" Hinan cupped his cheeks in her worn hands. "If I see you in here without a good reason, I'm going to tan your hide."

"Yes ma'am." Poe yawned, clutching his bundle of clothes to his chest.

"Alright, better get the kid to bed. Gets grumpy when he's up late." Said Snap, helping Poe to his feet with a gentle arm around his shoulders.

Poe, lacking any real energy, merely glared at him.

"See you in a few days Commander." Hianan called as the pair left the foyer.

Poe shuffled silently down the hallway, thankful Snap was shortening his stride; his belly felt all sorts of wrong right now. Hinan had been right about not wanting to get off the ground.

"What happened? I tried looking up on the net what you had, but all I got were something to do with lists?'"

Poe shot Snap a bemused look.

"How did you pass the Academy?"

"Lots of extra credit." Snap winked, throwing an arm over Poes shoulder.

Poe sighed heavily. He pressed a hand to his belly, the ghost of the pain he'd felt lingering.

"Surlinda said you were really bad. Seriously what happened?" Snap continued, guiding Poe around curious soliders.

"It's an infection that causes pain. Bad pain. They cut something out, easier than treating it." Poe explained, thankful his room was at the start of the dorms like all pilots.

They stopped outside the door, and Poe lent agianst the wall.

"Sounds rough."

"Apparently it explodes or something if they don't get to it quickly." Poe shuddered.

Snap paused in opening Poes room to look horrified.

"What idiot invented that?" He asked, appalled.

"Apparently its a left over thing?" Poe shrugged, equally disturbed.

"Okay…." The door opened, and Poe shuffled inside.

He dropped his clothes in the corner before clambering onto his bed.

"All good?"

"Mhmm." Poe wriggled under his blanket, snuggling into his pillow. His eyes were already closing as the hangover of drugs pulled him towards sleep.

"Alright, take care hotshot." Snap hit the lights as he left the room.

Chapter Text

"Can you not get yourself into a life-threatening situation, for FIVE MINUTES." Snap yelled at a trembling Poe.

"It's in the job description Snap." Poe smirked, though its effect was lost as he winced, the motion pulling on the myriad of deep cuts on his face.

"He has a point." Maal said as he entered the small shelter. Snap levelled a withering stare at the scout but it went unnoticed. "How you holding up kid?"

"Fine, Snap's just pretending he's angry." Poe gave a one-armed shrug.

"You owe me a drink. " Snap grumbled.

"So that's why you saved me all those years ago. Taking advantage of a naïve, young recruit." He feigned swooning back against the pack he was using as a pillow.

"Passed out?" Maal asked after a moment. Snap gently prodded Poe’s cheek, and received no response.

"Yep."

Snap was furious that Poe had raced off after the thief without so much as a second thought, but the way Poe was shaking like a poorly fastened stabiliser in a windstorm overrode anything else. The fact that he hadn't bounced up after the crash with an annoying grin designed to get under Snaps skin, but rather was right where he was thrown. Moving him had proven to be futile, the slightly contact against his leg throwing him into a bout of painful vomiting. Maal had built a shelter while Snap pumped as many field issue pain killers into him as he could safely manage.

"I want to check his leg." Maal said crouching by the unconscious pilot.

"Can it wait? I don’t think he’s got much left in him."

"I need to tell the med team so they cam prepare." He levelled a stern gaze at Snap.

Snap knew outside of a trained doctor or medic; Poe couldn't be in safer or more experienced hands than Maal. However, Snap could only see the same skinny, drunk teen he'd peeled off a dirty floor all those years ago. Poe was right. Reluctantly, Snap moved away from Poe's side, the cramped space leaving him well within reach. Maal carefully and with precision cut away the thick material of Poe’s trousers

"Pilots are the worst, none of you have a sense presevation.

"We fly into space under fire with the thinnest hulls any organic or synthetic could build.." Snap countered, reaching out to soothe Poe as the work jostled his injury. Biting his lip as he felt the heat radiating through Poe’s blood matted curls. "He feels pretty warm."

“Some of what you gave him will help. Should hold out until help gets here."

Snap helped Maal gently guide the material out from under Poe’s leg, the pilot tensing in his sleep as he let out a whimper. Snap steeled himself. The idiot got himself into this mess. Snap’s breath hitched as he studied the injury. The flesh was swollen, stretching the skin so taught it look fit to burst, the skin mottling with dark purple bruises. His eyes trailed to the shard of bright white bone protruding from a mound of torn skin and congealed blood.

"Shit."

"Yeah, thought as much.” Maal sighed as he ran a scanner. “His whole leg is shattered.”

"Meaning?"

“It will take a heap of screws and plates to put him back together. Only controls he'll be behind for the foreseeable future is in command."

"Will he-?

"Yes." Maal replied quickly. The dread growing in Snaps chest lessened, but he still wasn't looking forward to telling him he was downed.

"I hope he likes the tank."

"Hates it with a passion but practically lives in the stuff. Usually gets really shitty for a day or two afterwards."

"Sounds like a liability."

"He's the best damn pilot this galaxy has ever seen." Snap replied hotly. Maal gave him a blank stare in return. "When he uses his brain."

"Sure."

Maal found Poe had also broken a few ribs, tore his shoulder and a large gash across his back. Poe had stirred a few times but didn’t appear to be overly lucid. "Don't worry, just the drugs." Maal said as he caught Snaps pinched look. "How about you get some rest. I'll keep look out."

"You've already done enough." Snap countered, moving to stand.

Maal placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Listen, kid. Don't learn this the hard way. In this life, you never know when its your last chance."

Snap nodded, drawing a smirk from Maal.

"Good. Now rest. Besides, if we get attacked, I'd rather have my blaster already in my hand." Maal withdrew from the shelter, leaving Snap alone with the shivering body of his best friend.

"Wait until Jess sees you. You'll regret surviving." Snap chastised, spreading a blanket over Poe’s lower half before settling down beside him.

Snap must have settled into an actual sleep, unaware of Maal entering. He felt a rough hand grab his shoulder.

"Get going Wexley!" Snap scrambled upright, scrubbing his face as he quickly gained awareness.

"Are they here?"

"Just arrived. Need you out so they can help him." Snap swiftly ducked out of the shelter and into the breaking dawn. He walked around the small canvas shelter tied down amongst the dense foliage. A small group of people stood stern faced and weighed down by what looked like enough gear to break a dewback, a transport casting them in deep shadow.

"I take it you're not the idiot who took off on a hopped-up speeder bike?" A lithe woman with closely cropped hair approached him. Snap shook her hand with an apologetic look.

"No but he is a friend, for now. I'm Temmin Wexley, you can call me Snap."

"I'm Kun. You can call me Lieutenant." She replied, her grip firm and gaze unwavering.

"Sure thing, Lieutenant."

Right, well he had just proclaimed to be close to the idiot dragging them out of bed before dawn. Bad way to make friends. Maal emerged from the small shelter, looking impossibly more displeased than Snap thought possible.

"Lieutenant Kun what are you doing? This man could loose a leg!"

Kun grimaced and gave orders for her team to set to work. Snap cocked his head, gears in his head locking into place.

"Wait, Karé Kun, you trained at the academy, year below me."

"Please, call me Lieutenant."

“Right, right. Tell me Lieutenant, what is a pilot doing in charge of a group of medics?" Snap crossed his arms.

"I have some medical training, and the medics are not as insufferable as you space-crazy fighter pilots." She replied sharply.

"Well, guess I can't argue after this." He lent in with a smirk on his face. "By the way Lieutenant, its Captain Snap Wexley."

Kun's eyes narrowed as Snap strode away, still smirking.

Jess smacked Snap across the back of the head, startling him badly.

"The hell you doing pipsqueak?" He barked as she lent against the window, looking in at the surgery room.

"IIknow you're doing what you always tell him to take care od himself, but considering you stink to the two moons of Coruscant, you're a hypocrite."

"He’s going to beat himself up over this whole thing."

"Snap. Look at me." He did. Jess's stern gaze softened after a moment.

"That idiot will pull though. Those doctors are the best he can get. You are his best friend. If you really want to help Snap, then go scrub that force forsaken ass of yours and get some rest."

As much as he wanted to tell Jess where to shove her opinion, she was right.

"I guess I need to be ready to catch him when he tries to slip out the doors." Snap said, stepping back from the window. "At least he's hobbled this time, won't be able to run like when he got shot."

"If I remember correctly, you let him go."

"Ah, well my memory seems to fail me, so it must be a dream then."

"Hmm. Get some rest big guy. I'll keep watch if it makes it easier."

"Catch ya Pava." He turned to go.

"Also, call me pipsqueak again and it'll be Poe watching you through this window."

"I love you too."

Snap surprised himself by how tired he was. He'd slept through the afternoon and well into the next day, only clawing hunger, and the desperate need to pee, stirring him from several more hours. He managed to pick around half a bowl of stew before he finally accepted the appetite that had him up, had fled. He chastised himself for his wretched mood, Poe was safe, it wasn't the first time he'd watched his friend get evacc'ed by a medical team. In fact Snap was rather sure there was a chart keeping track of a series of bets placed on the matter. Snap found himself staring through yet another observation window. The nearly wall length piece of transparisteel proudly showing off the rows of bacta tanks in service to the navy. The reassurance that they patch anyone back together with a dunk in the increasingly rare commodity.

"I heard the synthetic stuff is nearly good as the original these days."

"Depends on who you ask." Snap replied, offering a short glance to whoever had spoken. "Lieutenant." He added as his eyes fell on the tell-tale cut of hair.

"Turns out we have a mutual friend, Captain Wexley."

"Who that might be?" Snap raised a brow. Almost everyone was connected through mutual friendships in the Republics forces.

"Jessika Pava."

"So she can socialise after all." Snap chuckled, but it came out flatter than he liked.

"Yes. She also seemed to worry about you."

"About me? " He now turned his full attention to Kun, seeing less of the arrogance he'd witnessed in her earlier"

"Said you worry about him too much." Kun dipped her head towards the window, to where a very bruised and - in Snaps opinion - skinny Poe floated.

"It's how I first met him." Something about the idiots fearsome will had lured him into the trap that was Poe Dameron.

"Why did you stay then?"

"Funny story that one. Still working it out myself."

"Does he realise how lucky he is?"

Snap railed slightly, but it appeared to be a genuine question.

"I think he has the best idea on what people mean in this life. That's why he gets in trouble."

"Like now?"

"Yeah. Chased after a thief who robbed a market stall. He's good friends with the lady who runs it." He sighed as he remembered Poe's sheer outrage when he found Deema crying over her destroyed wares.

"Why not let the Republic take care of it?" Kun shrugged.

"I didn't take you for being so naïve Lieutenant." The woman’s faced screwed up at his retort, so Snap continued. "As much as I live to serve and defend the Republic, if everything was left up to bureaucracy, nothing would ever get done." He placed a hand over the firebird embroidered on his jacket.

"The woman he helped is raising three children on her own, her husband died in an accident years ago and no one paid out."

Kun nodded slowly, expression remanning neutral.

"She couldn't afford to feed them without what the thief stole."

"Can't afford insurance. Nor the time off to go to court. Poe crashed, the thief got away."

And damn the heart on his sleeve, Poe would torture himself over it forever.

"Never really looked at it like that before." Kun admitted, looking at Poe seemingly with a new understanding.

"I know everyone likes to paint us as short tempered and dull, but it takes guts to do what we do Lieutenant."

"I don't doubt it, but the Republic wasn't built by irrational choices."

"I'm not saying we don't benefit from a cool head, but we can't be blind."

"No, I guess not."

"Why are you here? Only yesterday you were rather put out by the whole idea of interacting with us, irrational people."

Kun swallowed before speaking, eyes switching between Snap and the window.

"Looking for a new perspective."

Snap said nothing. It took a lot for a person like Kun to break the mould they were carefully forged in. They stood together silently until a frustrated tank technician emerged to chase the pair away.

Poe had a hell of a time coming down from bacta submersion. His tolerance was practically zero despite his experience.

"Dameron, you are aware that it could lead up to another two weeks recovery. Partial submersion is significantly slower." Doctor Pii explained.

"Put me back into that tank again and I won't be going in alone." Poe snapped back. Snap gave Poe a swift clip over the ear.

"Zip it you gronk." He shot the doctor an apologetic look. "Forgive him, he can't find his manners with his head jammed up his ass."

Pii merely chuckled, having dealt with Poe’s crabby behaviour more than anyone else in the infirmary.

"Lucky I volunteered Poe, else you would still be lying on that stretcher."

"Thanks." Poe grumbled, earning another chuckle from Pii. The doctor went over the treatment and recovery plan, more for Snaps benefit then Poe's before giving a final warning.

"I have a lot of money on this one Dameron, so give me at least a day of your most charming behaviour."

"Only if you get Rahni to bake me those cakes." Poe tried.

"Let's not push this, hm?" Pii shot Poe a look. "Maybe a few go missing to keep little Jordi from getting all that sugar."

Finally, a small smile tugged at Poe's sullen features.

"For that, two days."

 "Ha, don’t lie, you are awful at it. Now rest my troubling friend." Pii handed Snap a chip with all the information he'd relayed and left the recovery quarter.

Poe's mood quickly soured again as he glared at the huge brace encircling his leg.

"Don't even think about complaining. You chose this, you live with it."

"I screwed up." Poe said in a voice so quiet, so full of disgust, Snap froze. “He got away, didn’t he? He got away with her stuff."

"The republics hardship laws will help her."

"Don't feed me that bantha crap Snap. You know those credits are barely enough to put food on the table, and never soon enough." Poe snapped.

“You know what happens to pilots fitted with prosthetics Poe?" The bedridden pilot curled his lip as Snap spoke. "They get pushed to the back. Last to fly. Because they don't want the liability. As dumb as it is, it's not going to change soon."

The arrival of Kun interrupted whatever acidic retort Poe had brewing.

"So he survived." She remarked, striding up to where Snap sat beside the bed.

"What's it to you?" Snap clapped a hand over Poe's mouth.

"Forgive him, the come-down is harder for him than most. Poe lick my hand and I'll strap you to the bed and steal your cakes." Snap growled as he felt Poe's lips part against his palm. He received a muffled. "You don't have the authority." As a reply.

"Try me hotshot, see where it gets you." Poe crossed his arms in defeat, and Snap dropped his hand.

"Sorry Lieutenant. By the way Poe, it was her team that scraped your poor excuse of a behind off the forest floor."

"Thank you?"

"Just call me Lieutenant." Kun replied

"Who do you think-"

"Strike one." Snap warned, gesturing to the handcuff that Pii had brought to the room specifically as a threat.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Poe tucked his chin against his chest, choosing to sulk. Kun looked amused by the whole thing.

"Sorry again. What brings you here anyway?"

"Jess asked me to bring something she thought would cheer up your charmer of a friend."

Before he could ask, a familiar string of chirps and whistles filled the air. Poe's face lit up instantly as BB-8 raced into the room.

"Buddy I missed you!" Poe laughed, reaching down to rub the droids dome. The two broke into a conversation Snap had learned a long time ago he couldn't keep up with.

"Like switching on a light." Kun murmured, watching the interaction.

"It's also like watching puppies play." Snap laughed, standing so he could speak without Poe hearing. "Thank you, honestly. He was starting to set down a bad path."

"The woman?"

Snap nodded. "He still needs to learn how to forgive himself.

Kun pursed her lips, watching as Poe reassured his panicky droid. Then, the look of concern on Snaps face.

“I have training in an hour, so I better go." She said, offering a hand to Snap. He shook it, flashing her a genuine smile.

"Have fun Lieutenant." He winked, and she rolled her eyes, starting to hate the little bit of smugness that came with that word.

She left while the prickly pilot was still distracted by his droid. Seeking out Jess in the hanger.

"Where did you go?" Jess asked, climbing down from her ships wing.

"Just had to run a few errands. Hey, do you know about a lady called Deema?"

The infirmary all but kicked Poe out after a week. True to his word, he had remained well mannered for the first two days, surprising even Pii. However, it went down hill fast. Snap had received a wake up call by a desperate nurse, saying his approval for in quarters recovery had been extremely fast tracked. The infirmary staff had all but thrown Poe out the doors when Snap arrived minutes  later.

"Should I get Xian flowers or chocolates." Poe asked, craning his neck to see the wares of the nearby stall. His leg was propped up on one of the café chairs, his now overly sweet behaviour charming the waiter into giving them a free dessert each.

"Why can't you ever be like this when you're in the med bay?" Snap sighed as Poe winked at the man setting down his next coffee, earning himself a shy smile.

"They don't try to stab me with needles."

"You don't even have to be nice. Just be civil. Save them the pain, and you the money on apology gifts."

"Ah but they love it. I know Pii just made fifty credits off me."

Snap shook his head, choosing to finish off his sweet tart than dignify the comment with any kind of response. They sat together for a long while, letting the hum of the markets and the chatter of the nearby tables wash over them. Snap had nearly began to doze in the warm sun of the early afternoon.

"Oh no. Not her." Poe muttered, cheery mood vanishing. Snap looked up to see Kun emerging from the through of market shoppers.

"Well Lieutenant, this is becoming a habit." Snap said, gesturing to an empty seat at the table.

"I can think of worse." She replied, looking pointedly at Poe's brace.

"Good thing we live in the Republic, so I don’t have to." Poe snarled.

Snap ran hand over his face, forever perplexed by his friends’ behaviours.

"What brings you here anyway?"

"I need a gift for my mothers’ birthday, Jess said you were the best person when it came to the markets." She nodded at Poe.

"What are you looking for?" Poe lent forwards; all trace of hostility gone.

The two discussed at length all the details that went into buying the perfect gift. Eventually Poe lent back with a wide grin.

"I know just the place."

It was a great deal of effort manoeuvring Poe's bulky crutches and braced leg through the crowd. The late afternoon heat left Poe flushed and drenched in sweat.

"Maybe you should rest." Snap suggested, seeing the strain in Poe’s movements.

"It's right here. See, Lieutenant, it might not look like much, but Deemas stall… is… the best stall in the market." Poe trailed off as he laid eyes on what, two weeks ago, had been a scraped together stall in ruins. Instead, a new setup was in its place, the same gentle’ faced Twi'lek standing behind a collection of goods. Her face lit up as she saw the group approach, and she hurried up to Poe.

"Oh just look at you. I told you not to go worrying yourself over my business. Now look at you." She lovingly pressed kisses to both of his cheeks. "Skinny boy, this will not do." She tutted, swiftly moving back to her stall.

"Deema, your stall was ruined." Poe said, gaping at the new exterior.

"I know, but that money you raised was life saving Poe."

"Money? Deema I don't-"

"Ahh sorry Deema, I forgot to tell you. Poe organised it all before his surgeries, you know how much meds can leave you we with blank spots." Kun interrupted, stepping forwards.

"Oh sorry Miss Karé, didn't see you there. Thanks again for being Poe's runner." Deema said cheerfully as she disappeared behind the bench.

Poe frowned at Kun.

"Later." She mouthed as Deema reappeared, a basket in hand.

"Here, I'll give these to Snap. Get a bit of fat back on those bones of yours boy." She patted Poe's shoulder.

"Um, yeah. You should keep it for the kids Deema"

“Oh nonsense Poe, they eat plenty.”

"Uncle Poe!" A chorus of young voices called out. Three young children ran down the market alleyway towards Poe.

“How else would they be able to run amok around my stall? No running kids!”

"Wow, you look like a droid Uncle Poe." The youngest gasped.

"I don't think B would like that." Poe chuckled, leaning heavily on his crutches. Deep down Snap hoped Poe would become a father in some way or another in his life. The man had an affinity for all creatures small and innocent, his own child-like nature blending well with the younger members of the galaxy.

"Where is he?" The young girl asked.

"Taking a nap." Poe gave a soft laugh as the young girl pouted.

"Mumma, is Uncle Poe staying for dinner?" The oldest asked excitedly.

"I don't see why not. You're all welcome to stay." Deema smiled.

"Sorry Deema, I'd love to, but I have a meeting soon.”

"Sorry to hear it, you Snap?"

Snap traded a look with Kun, seeing Poe gesturing for him to stay with her over her shoulder.

"Uh, no. I also have to get back before too late." He replied stiffly, Poe grinning in delight.

"Poe?"

"I can never say no to you." Poe replied, earning a cry of joy from the children.

"Come on Uncle Poe, come look at my paintings." The youngest said, tugging on Poe's shirt.

"Be careful with him kids." Deema warned as Poe hobbled after the chattering group.

"Oh um, Lieutenant. You can keep that. I think you'll enjoy it more." Poe threw over his shoulder before disappearing down the alley.

"See you two dears, later will I?"

"Of course, Deema." Deema gave them both a hug before sending them off.

"So, where did the money come from."

"I did raise it. A lot of the merchants around here are pretty nice." Kun shrugged.

Snap saw Kun in a different light.

"Hey I still have time if you want to get your mothers present still."

"Oh that was just an excuse. My mothers birthday was ages ago. But, we could grab something to eat?"

Snaps stomach still hadn't managed the rich dessert from earlier.

"Sure."

Snap watched as Poe spun around endlessly on the dance floor, using all his pent-up energy from having been confined within the brace for well over a month. He had chastised the man about not pushing his still fragile leg to the limit, that he would still have a few more months before he was fully normal. Poe steadfastly ignored every word.

"Another round of drinks guys?" Kun asked, standing up from the booth. Bright music flowed through the cantina’s dim interior, the smell of bodies packed close together mingling with the musky smell of beer.

"Love one." Jess replied, lifting her empty glass.                                                

"Me too." Snap said, doing the same. Kun gathered the empties and headed towards the bar.

"So, how long have you two been friends?" Snap said, settling into the worn leather.

"Who, Karé? We only spoke a handful of times, and that was after the accident."

"What?"

"Yeah, she only asked about you and what she could do to make you worry less."  Jess shrugged.

Snap didn't know what to do with that information. He was saved from having to think through too soon as an out of breath Poe re-joined the group.

"Having fun?" Jess asked, elbowing him.

"This is so much better than that recovery crap."

"That recovery crap saved your leg." Kun said as she placed four new beers on the table.

"Whatever you say Lieutenant." Poe said, taking a sip of his beer.

"I said call me Karé."

"Loud and clear Lieutenant."

"He's insufferable." Kun shook her head.

Snap noticed Poe raising his eyebrows as he drank. He frowned before remembering the conversation from the night before.

"Uh, speaking of. We have a squadron that Antillies is putting together. We could use someone with medical knowledge. Not to mention a cool head to balance out these two moon-jockeys."

Poe slammed his beer on the table, letting out a cry of outrage.

"Like you can speak!"

"You're our leader Snap, we but only follow." Jess said, crossing her arms.

"See?" Snap shook his head.

Kun chuckled. "I think I'll take you up on that offer."

"Well you signed your life away. Welcome to the team Lieutenant." Poe clapped Kun on the shoulder, earning himself an icy glare.

“Strike one Dameron.”

"She's perfect." Jess laughed.

"They're total opposites." Poe said when Kun had managed to drag Snap off to dance.

"Sure are." Jess agreed, downing the last of her beer.

"Like, this job is they only thing they have in common."

"Mhm."

"Couldn't think of anyone better actually." Poe admitted, cocking his head to watch the pair dance terribly together.

"Exactly what I was thinking. Want another drink?" Jess asked, standing from the booth.

"First one under pays the tab." Poe smirked.

"You're on flyboy."

Chapter Text

He waited patiently as he listened to his parents move about the ranch house. The heavier footsteps of his father as he climbed the stairs several times, the soft humming of a holiday tune from his mother. The noise was nearly enough to lull him to sleep, nose occasionally brushing against the pillow clung to his chest. Poe was tempted to get out of bed, to make time go faster, but he would be caught for sure. Instead he chose to bide his time, trying to recite all the ships he'd been taught were in the navy.

He missed when the humming had stopped but had just caught the last step outside his door. Poe flopped back onto the bed, trying to keep his breathing calm.

"Kes." His mother whispered.

"I know Shara." His father’s rumble echoed in the room.

Poe resisted the urge to giggle. His parents always said funny things when they thought Poe wasn't listening. Light feet grew closer, and despite himself Poe felt his heart beat a little faster. Then the soft peck just above his temple.

"Sleep well, my precious little boy."

Poe was not little!

"Don't wake him now, he'll be in our hair until dawn." His father warned, and Poe heard his mother retreat.

"He gets it from you."

"Oh, I'm not too sure about that, Miss Bey." Poe's door closed, grown-ups were so weird. There was a slight rattle of his doorframe that told him his parents had finally, finally gone to bed.

Wise to his father's teachings, Poe waited a little longer before getting out of bed. He pulled out the clothes stashed under his pillow earlier that day and got changed. Somehow his mother could always hear his closet door opening, even on the other side of the house.

"Criss cross down-" Poe cut himself off from singing as he tied his shoes. He was too close to get caught now. He carefully moved his stool to the window he asked to be left open and climbed through. He tested his footing before letting go of the sill.

"Yahoo!" He called out as he was bathed in the light reflecting off Yavin. The light in his parents’ bedroom switched on and Poe slapped a hand over his mouth. His mother had told him dozens of times to not celebrate so loudly but had always laughed while telling him off.

Silently he wished on every star in the sky to not get busted now and the room went dark once more. Poe merely waved his arms in silent celebration this time around. Crouching low, he scurried to the trellis where his father’s vines grew. Their thick stems were perfect for him to clamber down if he chose his path carefully. He jumped off at the bottom to clear the garden bed, before sprinting down the hill. He didn't stop until he reached the edge of the property, where the backyard he loved to playin the dense jungle surrounding their home.

On it edge stood Poe’s oldest friend.

"Hey buddy!" He greeted, breath fogging in the air as he patted the trees warm bark. The faint light that the leaves always held grew a little brighter.

"I missed you too. That's okay, we're gonna wait for Father Tok together." He reassured the great tree.

Poe loved Kashmas. He was thankful his parents let Father Tok visit their house every year and left the best presents. He knew not all his friends got visited by Old Tok, but his mother had assured him that it wasn't to be mean, but what they liked.

Poe found he always loved the special gift Tok would leave for him. Last year it was the model A-wing sitting on the shelf above his bed. Poe made sure to leave double the biscuits for Tok this year as thanks.

"Mumma said he's shy, so he only comes when we're all in bed." Poe explained, gripping the familiar hand holds in the trunks knotted bark. "But I don't think he'll be scared if I'm really far away."

The soft glow around him dimmed a little.

"Aw, it'll be okay. I just want to know what he wants for Kashmas, so maybe he sees we're not scary and will come and ask." Poe said as he heaved himself onto his favourite branch. He watched as the leaves on the end twisted in the slight breeze.

"I could ask him to send a letter, but Mumma said he's too busy to send one back." Poe rubbed his hands together as he looked the shimmering stars. One night he'd tried to wink at every star winking at him and made himself dizzy. His parents had laughed a little but told him to wave back instead when he got upset.

Lifting his arm, he gave the biggest wave he could manage. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed that a nest had been built in his absence and therefore missed the huge whisperbird coming to defend its young.

Poe had hurt himself before. Scraped his knees climbing, jammed his fingers in the door; but he had never felt so much pain in his life as when he hit the soft grass below. He screamed in pain, startling the whisper bird that had knocked him off into swooping him. The gentle green of the tree’s leaves shifted to an eerie yellow, blurred by the tears in Poe’s eyes. The Whisper bird let out a shriek similar to Poe’s own and fluttered into the nearby jungle. The pain travelled from all over his body, into his right arm intensifying. Sniffling, he pulled it close to his body.

"Poe! Poe where are you?" His mother’s voice rang in the night.

"Here." He tried but found himself cut off by a sob.

"Poe buddy, please you're not going to get in trouble." His father sounded scared.

"H-here." He tried again, pushing himself up with his left arm.

"Kes, over by the tree."

Poe's mother come running into view, dressing gown streaming behind her with his father not far behind. Poe found himself unable to hold back his cries anymore, wailing as she neared. He found himself scooped up and held close to his mother’s chest.

"Baby what happened? Where are you hurt?"

"I fell, hurt m' arm." He sniffled.

"Here let me see." His father rolled up the sleeve of his arm, sending something hot burning up to his shoulder.

Poe whimpered, burying his face into his mother’s soft shirt.

"Sorry buddy but I need to be sure." Warm fingers gently squeezed his arm, making Poe whimper.

"Shh baby." His mother’s hand came up to his hair, gently stroking the hair she always called his 'mane'.

"Feels like it might be broken, we better take him to the centre." His father said, letting Poe huddle his arm back to his chest. "Best you drive."

"Here, hold him and I'll get the speeder."

Poe felt himself being put into his father’s broader arms; his shirt was a bit scratchy against Poe’s face as he snuggled close to the warmth.

"What were you doing out here buddy?" His father asked as his mother ran back to the house.

"Waiting for-" He took a shuddering breath. "Waiting for Father Tok."

"Waiting, in the tree?" His father sounded annoyed and Poe rushed to explain.

"Mumma said h-he gets scared, so I thought Tree would be far away, an-and Tree makes me happy so-"

"Shh Poe, calm down." Poe pulled away to look up at his father, he couldn't see much of his face, dark against the moving night sky, but there was a faint hint of teeth, not quite a smile. "I'm not mad, not yet, but I need to know what happened."

"I was talking to Tree, when a whisperbird scared me. I fell out."

"Why were you waiting for Father Tok? You know he doesn't come until we are all asleep."

"Yeah but, I want to get him a gift next year." Poe explained, momentarily forgetting his pain.

"Oh, really?"

Before Poe could answer, his mother returned with the speeder. Poe was quickly bundled into the front seat, his mother wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. It never got too cold on Yavin IV, but Poe found himself trembling a little, nevertheless. His father kept an arm wrapped around him as his mother drove. His father was telling Poe's story to her, but Poe found all the hurt had made him very tired and he let himself doze off against his father’s side.

The medcenter was very bright to Poe’s tired and sore eyes. He hid underneath the blanket while a Doctor made his arm sore like his father had. They took the blanket away while they put his arm in a stiff sleeve the Doctor called a cast. Poe could pick the colour and the bright orange cheered him up the most.

The nurses laughed when his parents told them what he had been trying to do. Poe wanted to cry again from the embarrassment it made him feel.

"Oh sweetie. I think you're wonderful for thinking about Father Tok like that." A lady with dark, friendly eyes told Poe, handing him a small gingersnap.

"Yeah?" He squeaked and she gave a warm smile that made Poe feel a little better.

"Yeah, I do, but Father Tok doesn't need any presents, gere take these." She explained, handing him two white tablets. Poe did as he was told, and she handed him some water to swallow them with.

"No?"

"No sweetie, Father Tok can make anything he wants." 

Poe sat up straighter in his seat, clinging to the blanket the nurse had returned to him.

"Really?"

"Yep, that’s what his helpers are for; but they aren't very good at baking, so that's why we leave out biscuits for him every year."  She gestured to the plate on offer at the big counter in the medcenter.

"Wow. Mumma, can we do special biscuits?"

His mother chuckled and picked him up. Poe normally hated being carried now he was older, but right now he was tired, and all he really wanted was to cuddle up and fall asleep.

"Not tonight sweetie. You need to go to bed."

Disappointed as he was, Poe couldn't help but yawn at the word bed. He was so excited about tonight he hadn't even taken a nap that afternoon. His parents thanked the Doctors and Nurses, and Poe waved a sleepy goodbye with his orange arm.

He woke up much later, being tucked into bed by his father.

"Hey buddy, didn't mean to wake you up." His father said, pulling the covers over Poe's chest.

"Sorry." Poe yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm not angry with you buddy, I'm worried for your safety. We don't mind you climbing Tree, but we need to know so you can be safe."

Poe nodded, staring at the orange cast lying on the blue duvet covers.

"Hey Poe, I still love you." His father leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek, one that turned into a massive raspberry that left Poe's cheek tingling. Poe shrieked with laughter.

"Enough you two, you'll wake up the entire jungle." His mother touted as she entered the room. She stopped as she spotted the stool pushed up against Poe's window.

"Ah, that's why I didn't hear the stairs." She shook her head. "We'll talk about being safe and not trampling your father's garden in the morning." She continued as she moved to sit beside Poe. The mattress dipped, and he rolled into the side of her leg.

"Sorry Mumma."

"We'll talk later darling." She kissed his forehead, handing him a letter. "Here, read this."

Poe looked down at the neatly folded piece of flimsi in his hand. He placed it in his lap and unfolded it with his left hand, revealing lines of flowing aurebesh that were a little tricky to read.

"What does it say buddy?" His father asked, giving his foot a squeeze as he sat at the end of the bed.

"Dear Poe. I hope you are feeling better after your big fall tonight. A little birdy told me what you had planned, and I am touched by your con, cons-" Poe struggled with the unfamiliar word.

"Consideration. Your thought." His mother added.

"Consideration. Never- nevertheless, I am well taken care of by my helpers at home. But you can do me one big fa- favour and try to stay out of trouble. Best of wishes, and a merry Kashmash. Father Tok." Poe finished, cheeks burning as he read the last words. Did everyone know now?

"He also left us a note saying you can have your gift early." His father added, placing a gift in Poe's lap he hadn't noticed earlier.

"Really?" Poe gasped, running his hand across the silver bow.

"Yes darling, go ahead."

It was difficult with one arm in a cast, but with the assistance of his teeth (to his mother’s horror) he had quickly opened the gift to reveal a plain box. Carefully picking off the single piece of tape, he pushed back the flaps to reveal a beautiful model X-wing.

"No way!" Poe carefully lifted the model ship from the piles of stuffing inside. The miniature craft had been painted black and orange, unique from the standard white and squadron colours of the Republic Navy.

"Yes way. Now, time for bed, it's been a long night." His mother said, clearing away the rubbish.

"Where do you want her?" His father asked.

"Next to mummas ship." Poe said, handing the toy to his father so he could place it on the shelf above his bed.

"Goodnight Poe."  His mother hugged him and gave him one last kiss, followed by his father.

"Night mum, night dad." He yawned, sinking onto the bed. It had been a long night. His eyes flickered to the small clock beside his bed as the door to his room closed.

"Merry Kashmas, Father Tok." Poe whispered before closing his eyes."

-------------

Poe opened his eyes to see his team crowding the bed in the otherwise empty medbay.

"So, this is tradition now?" Jess laughed, poking the bright orange cast on Poe's left arm.

"It was my right arm last time Jess. This will be in the exam." He yawned. Unlike all those years ago, they had him on some much nicer stuff. That or the buzz hadn't quite worn off.

"That still doesn't explain why you were halfway up a tree, drunk off your ass." Snap sighed. He'd been the one medbay called in first.

"Like Jess said, tradition." Poe smiled sadly as he looked down at the cast. "That was the last year we were together. Mum left for a mission a month later. The letter showed up three weeks later." The mood in the room dampened, but Poe grinned brightly. "So, dad and I climbed Tree next Kashmas with a flask of sweet wine and sung all her favourite songs. He drank most of it but let me try some. So yeah, guess it kinda did become tradition." The small group broke into laugher.

"Delivery for the drunk pilot who fell from a tree." Poe looked up to see L'ulo entering the room carrying a tray.

"Uncle L'ulo" Poe cheered and the man rolled his eyes.

"Your father will be glad that his son carries on the Dameron gene of thick skulls."

"None harder in the galaxy." Poe rapped his head with his knuckles

"Docs said you're too juiced up to have a drink, so I got you some hot chocolate instead." He handed a mug to Poe, before passing one each to Jess and Snap. "A little bit of caf too just how you like it."

"Thanks, Lo' you're the best."

"Thank me by going to visit your father once they take the bacta off." L'ulo said, taking a seat. "Now, you guys want to hear an even better story."

"Oh no. Not this one, I was young." Poe groaned.

"Exactly, you were a little brat."

Poe winced, taking a long sip as L'ulo began the story.

"When Poe was sixteen, he showed up my place with the biggest hangover I had ever seen."

Happy Holidays Guys!

Chapter Text

She had been close to sleep when she heard the rustle of her tent flap. The soft breaths of air were familiar, of a little more strained than usual.

Jess blinked groggily at the shadow standing in her tent.

"M'Poe?"

"Jess, shit, sorry. Wrong tent." He muttered, feet crunching in the snow as he stepped outside.

"No it's not. Come on." Jess moved over in her bed roll, and soon it was filled with anxious pilot.

She could feel the lingering nightmare in the stiff movements he made. Jess wrapped her arms around him, almost gasping as he buried his cold nose into her shoulder. 

He must have been agonising disturbing over someone for ages.

"Thanks." He whispered, barely audible.

"Anytime." Jess said. 

She would always have a soft spot for the idiot child Snap scraped off the bathroom floor. So when she felt the hot tears on her neck as he buried himself into her skin, her heart hurt.

"I'm here. You're safe." She said, carding his sweat-lank mop of hair.

Poes arms tightened around her.

"Please don't go."

Ahh, she thought. It was me this time.

"I'm not planning on it."

Poe was gone by dawn.

Jess spotted him running around camp midday, he looked a little tired but back to his boisterous self as he bounced between planning with the ground mission lead and his own ship.
When she caught his eye he stopped in his tracks.
Neither of them had to say anything, Poe offered a small nod before he was distracted by another officer.
Maybe she would run an extra few  safety checks today. 

Chapter Text

Tl;dr: Thanks for reading, I should post agian.

Just a quick thanks first of all to you lovely readers. I really appreciate all of your comments and I love reading them when things aren't great or I plan to give up on my writing.* I know its only mediocre fanfic but it's something I spent much time on... way too much. 

So this year has been an intense start. I live in eastern Australia, which has in this order; extreme drought (by our standards) seen the worst fires in history; worst flooding in the last 20 years; so it's been kind of hectic with friends and family evacuating and sheltering them.

Now things are kind of back to normal (hometown has the you know what virus) hopefully I can get back to writing! Thank you most wonderful people. May you and your loved ones be well.

Chapter Text

Kes was angry. Beyond angry. What he felt was hot, seething hatred. At the war. At the Republic. At the bastards that caused this. A good amount was directed at himself. His baby. His pride and joy, the reason to cling to the hellish reality that was his life, screamed in pain as his nightmares took hold. Poe may have been an adult now, but he was still his baby.

Kes hovered by his son's side, torn between letting him suffer the horrors of his mind or subject him to the ordeal that was waking to his current situation. He knew Poe forgot his legs were still healing. He'd confessed the night before that the lack of feeling sent him into a panic, weeks after he had regained consciousness. Kes had reminded him firmly that there was no doubt he'd regain mobility. That he was here to heal, not because his life as pilot was over.

"You'll fly no matter what my son." Kes whispered, deciding he could do more if Poe was awake than asleep. "Poe, buddy. Come back to me." He sat on the edge of the mattress; the bed was small but had been set up in the lounge for Poe to access everything by himself. He found purchase in his son’s course hair; it was getting long again. He rubbed a thumb over his son’s temple, using a voice just loud enough to wake Poe but not startle him. Poe’s eyes -the same as his mothers - shot open, Kes ran a free hand down Poe's arm.

"It's just a dream buddy, you're here with Dad. It's okay, you're gonna be alright."

"I-" Poe gasped and Kes simply pulled his child tight to him.

"I know kiddo, I got you. You'll be back on your feet and back in the sky before you know it." Poe clutched to Kes so fiercely, it broke his heart. A cautious electronic whistle stirred Poe ling after Kes thought he gone back to sleep.

"I'm okay buddy." Poe said, reaching past Kes to pat the top of the BB-8s dome. A shaky smile appeared on his son’s face.

Damn, Kes loved that droid.

It had been just him and Poe since Shara died...

Chapter 1: Oh my child

Kes flinched awake as he felt a sharp pain blow his knee.

He blinked the sleep out of his vision, eyes falling on the mess of curls that belonged to his eight and half year-old son. The young boy was sprawled across half of the bed, mouth hanging open as he snored quietly. Kes took a moment to appreciate the peacefulness of Poe's sleeping face; swearing to himself as he did every morning, he would do everything to protect that bit of innocence that tragedy couldn't quiet squash.  Poe was his little, explosive ball of energy, his guiding light.

Loosing Shara had dimmed his boy’s enthusiasm significantly, as much as he tried to put a brave face on for Kes. So, the small things like this; the little reassurances; the concessions he made, were the least he could do.

He sighed as he pushed himself upright. His aching body sported a handful of bruises from similar wake up calls. Kes had to admit, he was doing a lot better since Poe had started crawling into bed with him. He levered himself out of bed, careful not to wake his son. The carpet beneath his feet gave way to the composite wood flooring of the hallway. He descended the stairs, ensuring to miss the fourth one down, and ducked into the kitchen to turn on the kettle.

Kes had designed this house back on his second attempt to graduate in architecture. Initially he had regretted putting the kitchen underneath the master bedroom due to his wife's midnight baking sessions- something his professor warned him of - but his professor had never had kids. Most certainly not an endless vacuum that consumed anything in its path like Poe. Kes was thankful he'd improved by the time it came to Hoth. minus the ‘absolutely accidental’ cave in.

Poe had nearly been an orphan that day.

As Kes settled into the chair in his office, his ears picked up on a tell-tale squeak. A little earlier than usual. The monitor on his desk indicated a message he'd been ignoring had been recently labelled crucial. Not changing that record, he instead navigated into a series of designs ranging from weeks to years old.  Architects in the colonies weren't in great demand. Simple, cheap pre-fabs dominated most towns around Yavin IV, major buildings were always big core names or repurposed buildings from the Jedi long since gone. Between them, Shara and Kes had always managed enough to keep them in relative comfort. Now he was alone, and the generosity of her parents wasn't getting as far as he needed with a growing boy. Even though Poe was still behind on a great deal of actual growing.

Absent-mindedly he shuffled through everything from houses, to shops and even playgrounds. His mind failed to place any real recognition to any of the designs, instead drifting from solution to solution for their circumstances. He didn't want to sell. Poe needed stability and Kes could never leave her behind.

A sketch of a hanger-shop combination flashed on the monitor. Kes bit his lip.

He'd been tipsy and Shara had been weeks away to giving birth to Poe.

“You'll be the best mechanic in the entire system!”

“And how are we supposed to do that with our little guy on the way?”

“I'll design it myself. Make it baby proof!”

A laugh, like fireworks in the night sky.

"Oh Kes."

“One day, I promise.”

"Mornin' Dad." A slightly muffled voice greeted Kes on his return to the present.

"Morning buddy." He smiled as Poe placed two misshapen mugs on Kes's desk before dragging a stool over. The fingerprints in the clay from four years ago were now tiny compared to the hands the held them today.

"Ohh is this for me?" Kes picked up the one with an undersized handle while Poe clambered onto the seat.

"N-no, its too sweet." Poe's eyes widened as his father moved the cup out of his reach.

"Well, I feel like something sweet." He smirked lifting it to his lips. His mouth watered as it was hit with the taste of caf rather than the hot chocolate he was expecting.

"Poe what did I say?"

"What? It's nice, and you drink it." Poe pouted.

"That's because your pa is an old man buddy, I need the good stuff to power my achy bones."

"You're so dramatic."

Kes chuckled, ruffling his sons curls as he returned the drink.

"Haircut time I think."

"No, I don't want to. I like it longer."

"Yeah? Well stop drinking all my caf so I can buy more hair wash then."

Poe giggled as Kes tickled his sides, relenting only as Poe begged between laughs. Tears streamed down Poe's baby cheeks, and Kes hoped he held on to them a little longer.

"Now, go do your laundry and I'll make breakfast." Poe slipped off his stool and scampered out of the office.

"I want pancakes please!" Poe hollered before Kes heard the fourth step creak.

A flicker rippled over the blue hologram as Kes set his mug down a little too hard.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I'm positive I either misheard or you've developed a concerning stutter."

He heard a sigh. They had the audacity to treat Kes like the irrational one.

"It's simply a matter of efficiency Kes. It will take half the time."

Kes rose from his seat, leaning close to his projector. “It takes half the time, because they have half the amount of design.”

"Kes, I'm sure you're a busy man."

"Busy? I'm a widow with a child, Freanax. You better compensate or I will take this to Hosnian Prime.

"Don't be silly Kes. You'll lose more money than you will win. Its half of your consultancy fee and we'll put out a good word-"

"Exposure doesn't keep the lights on." Kes muttered, ending the transmission.

"Hey dad? Are you okay?"

Ah crap, how much did he hear? Kes turned to see Poe staring at him, hands clutching the door as he peered into the office. Forcing himself to breathe evenly, Kes approached the doorway.

"Not really. Do you know why?" Kes kept a stern face but willed the anger down for now. Poe cautiously stepped into the room. Kes crossed his arms patiently.

"Uhh."

"Because someone left a big mess in the bathroom this morning!" Kes leapt forwards and scooped up the boy. "I'll just have to use the mop on top of your head." Poe cried out as Kes held him upside down, shrieking with laughter.

"Dad no, I'll go clean it up."

"Or, I could use all your dry socks " Kes mused. "Since mine are wet thanks to you."

"That's not fair!" Poe pouted despite being thrown over his dads’ shoulder. Kes carried Poe upstairs, pretending to lose bounce and bump Poe into the walls.

Poe snorted as Kes said, "You're getting so big, I can't carry you."

His son’s little hands beat against his back, "You're just old. “Kes carefully tossed Poe onto his bed, giving a mock gasp of shock.

"Listen here young man; I am not old, just vintage."

"Nah, you're old. Creaky bones.”

"Oh, just for that." Kes launched a tickling attack on Poe.

"I'm sorry." Poe gasped after a few moments, and Kes flopped on the bed beside him.

"Thought you would see it my way." Kes rolled over, throwing an arm around his son. "Come on, I'll help you clean up."

"Thanks." Kes leaned over and kissed Poe's cheek.

"Love you, buddy." Poe returned the kiss, planting it on Kes' temple.

"Love you too Dad."

It was just past midnight when Poe finally rolled over in his sleep, giving Kes his arm back.

Numbers weighed heavily on his mind. His poor parents had worked so hard and apologised to Kes profusely that there was only a beat-up speeder to hand down; caring for his and Shara's baby while they continued to fight was more than he could ever hope for.  The loss of his mother followed shortly by his heartbroken father had been hard on him. Poe had been beside himself for a year; he barely knew his parents at that stage even though he idolised them. Shara teaching him to fly had been the thing that brought life back into their little boy.

To lose Shara a few years later; Kes feared Poe would resent the universe. However, while it seemed fate was cruel, Kes had been blessed with an incredible son. Now it was up to him to ensure Poe had access to his dream of the stars. As much as he hated it, Kes knew the boy's feet didn't belong on the ground. Like Shara, it seemed he was always ready to simply float into space.

Kes stared hard at his console; waiting for an answer to appear. The blinking notification burned a hole in Kes's eyes. He held out for hours before finally breaking his trance.

Taking a steadying breath, he opened the message.

"Captain Kes Dameron; I sincerely hope you are well." Leia's voice trickled through the speakers in time with her holo. "I don't expect this to ever reach you. You would be forgiven for deleting it the moment if arrives." The holo shifted, as if Leia had taken a seat during its recording. "But I know you, Kes Dameron. There's a new threat coming. The Republic can't see it; in their minds an entire galaxy of tyranny and oppression somehow collapsed in one moment above Endor four years ago.  I need you to help me build a contingency plan. A Resistance, you could say." Leia stared into Kes, from across time, across lightyears of space.

The hologram winked out of existence, leaving Kes alone in a dark office.

"Go, like… leave?" Poe was losing the colour to his cheeks. Kes captured his son's trembling hands from across the table.

"And come back. Poe, I will always do my best to bring us back here. Its so we can stay." Poe's brow furrowed too hard for any child, Kes despised himself for setting such burdens on his little shoulders. "I promise Poe, once we come back, we'll stay forever."

Kes's heart shattered as Poe sniffed, tears rolling down his face. Why couldn't he protect his son?

Poe squirmed out of Kes's grip, bolting from the parlour. Kes sat back in the booth, knowing there was someone outside keeping an eye on him. Taking a shaky breath; Kes buried his face in his hands, willing himself to get it together. Why was he doing this? Surely, he could trade something. All he had left was Shara's A-wing, and nobody wanted his beat-up speeder. Poe would never forgive him for selling the ship.

"He doesn't hate you Kes, he's just scared."

Kes let his hands fall to his lap as Ashina set a coffee down on the table.

"I know, I just hate doing this to him Ash. There's no room in a colony for an architect." Ashina sat across from Kes in the booth, flicking back a deep purple tendril.

"Another one Kes?"

"Not even half cost for drafting. It's week to week right now. The Republic grant doesn't go far once I paid for his school. The shifts at the cantina help, but Poe… I know he cries when I'm gone." He paused, fiddling with the teaspoon against the plate. "Hosnian Prime, two years; then an advisory role flying back for a week or two every few months." Kes took a sip of his coffee. "You're the best Ash."

"Shara was my best friend Kes, if Poe doesn't want to do this-"

"He is my son." Kes bit back immediately. Ashina closed her mouth with a click, Kes regretted immediately. "Ash, I'm sorry."

Ash gave a laugh. "I should be more careful; Shara wouldn't marry a pushover." Something about those words gave Kes a little glow of pride. No, Shara wouldn't let just anyone father her child. She had picked him. "You what's the best for him. But this, it's not the only way."

Kes paused long enough to drain his coffee, letting the burn in his throat ground him.

"This will be the safest way. We have to try. One month, and if he still doesn't like it, I'll fly back. He wants to be a pilot like her, its the least I can do to give him that."

Ashina nodded slowly. "Well then Dameron, what's your plan?"

Kes produced a spare key, he chose old style locks over electric systems. Power-outs had been common in the early days of Yavin IV's colony, he wasn't putting his child's safety        at risk.

"Ash, you've been good to me, so I trust you. Like you said, Shara was a shrewd woman." Ashina took the key, clutching it tightly. The corner of her eyes shone in the setting sun, stretching the café.

Kes hadn't entertained guests since he lost Shara, Poe was still bouncing back from his self-inflicted isolation. Having a tutor had been a huge step for him. Leaving the property had been the hardest, with Poe still dragging his feet when it came time to leave. That meant Ashina had been cut off from all memories of her childhood friend, the one she followed to an outer-rim colony to be with.

"You loved her, didn't you?" He said, softly but she heard. A wet sniff followed by a shaky breath was the only answer he needed. Kes reached across the table, placing a hand on her arm. "Then I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more. This must be hard on you too.”

At least he had Poe.

Ashina gave him a watery smile, and for a few moments, they sat in silence together.

A familiar head of hair passing by the window spurred Kes back to reality. It was agreed that he would return home for a few days every few months and would send meagre stipend to compensate Ashina for her efforts.

“I know it’s not much.” Kes said as he presented the final number. “But I want to give you something at least. I know Shara had photos from you two growing up, I’ll do my best to find them before I go.” Ashina said nothing, wrapping her arms tightly around Kes. He returned her hug, feeling comforted in the fact that Ashina would do anything for Poe if something happened to Kes.

When Ashina pulled away, she held her finger a hair’s breadth from his nose. “You better call me every week; I’ll miss your gorgeous little boy.” She moved behind the café’s counter, pulling a pastry out of the glass warmer.

“He’s only gorgeous until you have to feed him; it’s like handling a rancour.” Kes laughed/

“Well, here’s my offering.” Ashina bagged the pastry, handing it to Kes. “Go on, don’t worry about it. Just let me know how it goes.” She waved off his attempts to pay.

Clutching tightly to the little brown bag, Kes swallowed the sudden rise of dread in his throat. He could face down an AT-AT with only a blaster and one stun grenade, but the moment the smile fell from his son’s face, he was defeated. Steeling his nerve, Kes bid Ashina goodbye and stepped outside of the café.

Poe sat on a bench not too far from their speeder, scuffing his feet on the damp ground. Kes approached slowly, Poe digging his heels hard into the ground, leaving shallow divots in soil.

“Hey my little buddy.” He sat down, wrapping one arm around Poe’s hunched over back.

“Hey.” He sniffed quietly.

Kes offered pastry. “Got you something, Ashina said she wants to know what you think.”

Poe took the bag, looking up at Kes with big puffy eyes. “Hey dad?”

“Yeah bud?”

“Are… you mad?”

Kes pursed his lips, pulling Poe close to his side to lock him in a cuddle. “I can never be mad at you, kiddo. Your old dad isn’t the best this kind of stuff, but I promise I’m trying. Remember, you are my favourite-est person in this whole, wide galaxy.”

Poe pulled away, a giving Kes a poor attempt at a serious face. “That’s not a word.”

“Who says?”

“The, people… of words.”

“Oh, really?” Kes said, feigning surprise. “But I said it is a word, so it has to be.”

“Daaaaad!”

“What? It’s true.” Kes held up his hands.

Poe rolled his eyes, hands coming up to fiddle with the bag as the moment died down. “Do we have to go?”

Kes sunk into the seat. “No, we don’t. I’ll never force you to do something you really don’t want to do. Other than cleaning up your room that is.”

Poe tore a hole in the bag, feet stirring up the small mounds of earth he’d created.

“Because, I think it would be a good thing. For both of us.” Kes ran a hand through Poe’s hair. “I have a lot of old friends at the base, and they can look after us. More importantly, I won’t have to leave you alone as much. Whether or not you want a tutor or go to school, we can work that out once we get there.”

Poe fiddle with the bag, adding small tears to the bag as his face scrunched up in thought.

“You won’t go away as much?”

Kes leaned forwards, trying to catch Poe’s eye. “No, and when I do, I’ll only be a few minutes away. It won’t be like driving into town.”

Poe finally lifted his head, and for the first time, Kes couldn’t read his expression.

“Okay.” He said simply.

“Okay?” Kes repeated, anticipation rising. “Does that mean you want to give it a go? You don’t have to do it. You know I’ll always find a way.”

“Yeah, but then you would never be home.” It was matter of fact, and Kes felt a huge pool of guilt rise-up in his heart. If Poe hated him working the handful of nights at the cantina he already did, he couldn’t bear to think what it would be like if he took up full time work outside of his office.

“I’m sorry buddy, if there was another way, I would try that for sure. Besides, Ashina promised me she would keep a close eye on the house for us.” Kes placed a hand atop of Poe’s on the nearly shredded pastry bag. “And, when you get a little older, I might even think about getting you some flying lessons.”

And there it was. Poe’s head snapped up, mouth agape.

“Really?”

“When you get older. Until then, I’m sure I have some friends that will happily let you have a look at their ships.”

Poe jumped off the bench, all traces of his melancholy gone. “Like real pilots.”

“As real as it gets kiddo.” Kes said, his old muscles protesting as he stood up.

“What kind of ships do they have?”

“I don’t know.” Kes placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “Does this mean you are okay with us going away for a little while?” Poe looked hard and long at Kes before answering.

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Kes knelt to Poe’s level.

“Thanks buddy, I promise you we’ll come straight home if you don’t like it.” Poe tackled Kes in a hug.

“Love you.”

“Love you too kiddo.”

I love you more than you will ever know…

Chapter Text

 “We have located four new bases in the mid-rim, thirteen spies have been deployed to gather further information, but as it stands we have enough to secure at least one.” Poes hands glided above the map spread across the table. He was turning into a valuable tactician, owing partly to his cunning, but also to a level of tenacity Leia hadn’t seen since the war. Still, he was absurdly headstrong and controlling. She had been trying for the last few months to pull his head out of his cockpit, to shatter this hollow veneer of arrogance. Something she knew all too well.

“- everything we have suggests loyalists. They’re recruiting again.” He rested his knuckles on the edge of the bench, Leia guessed he was trying to hide his nervous habit of rocking on the balls of his feet. He’d been assigned this one for too long. She had argued furiously with Statura, citing Poe’s capture and tourture at the hands of these loyalists would only foster an unhealthy obsession.

“He’s the best we have.” Statura had replied - He was right, but Leia had been wrong to agree. She threw Kes’s son to the vultures in order to fend off her own fears of war. She had learnt much in life and battle, but it seemed she could never really escape her past. Some small part of her was still that little nineteen year old aboard her fathers ship, watching everything she had known and loved in the world crumble before her. 

“Pathfinders could easily seize Bravo and Yavin bases, I can take Executor base with the help-”

“No.” 

Poe’s look of betrayal was immediate, stars bless him, he was still a kid at heart.

“I’m sorry Ma’am?”

Leia stepped into his space, brushing up against his side as she turned to face the rest of command, forcing him to step back. He was off this now, he could whine all he wanted in her office later. 

“I want pathfinders only on this mission. Contact General Shen, place him in charge of this. If this is serious as you say Commander, I am sure you appreciate the need to elevate this to the experts.”

Poe nodded stiffly. He remained tacked awkwardly to her side as she reigned control of the meeting. He’d stood in her office practising his delivery so long last night, she knew it by heart. Four bases, two that were almost certainly loyalist. In all honesty, the likelihood of them gaining anything from raiding these bases would be minimal. The few scoundrels cropping up against the galaxy were children of the Empire’s top Generals, most only scraping by on stolen valour and the kinds of people who will never accept change. The odds of them uncovering any kind of deep seated scheme early in the piece was so unbelievably low, it was depressing. High command would never truly take stock in the Empire clawing its way back. Thirteen years of peace already had people growing complacent, long forgotten was how the death star had been constructed in wild space and transported to Alderaan virtually undetected, snuffing a world from existence without a second thought.

Leia could feel Poe’s eyes boring into her back as she wrapped up the presentation. She was honestly surprised he’d held his tongue, but she suspected he thought she had something bigger for him. Oh to break his heart. 

“Poe, my office now.” To his credit, he frowned but left without complaint.

As for good behaviour, it ended as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“What?”

“I said, I’m ordering you to take some time off Commander.”

“You have to be kidding me, you send me to the ass-end of the galaxy for months on end, crawling through shitty cantinas, running with spice gangs, squatting in mud and shit for days on end - to what - go tan on some beach somewhere?” His face was red, a large vein thrumming in his neck as he paced his office. “So what, some moof milking pathfinders living out their glory days can go do a one hit sweep and tell us everything we thought was true was all made up and were just paranoid? We’re about to throw away everything my team and I have worked our asses off for. I spent my last birthday hauling bantha crap as an undercover farmer and now you’re telling me now I need time off. You want your best pilot off sipping Corellian rum in some holiday resort instead of behind the yoke of one of the Navy’s fastest ships!”

“Are you nearly finished Commander?” He’d run out of points long ago but he was nearly as stubborn as she was.

“No.” He paced one line past her desk before collapsing on the couch. “Yes.”

Leia let a small smile play on her lips as he crossed his arms. She knew there was no real heat behind his anger - not this time at least.

“Well, now you’ve thrown your tantrum, can I explain myself?” He at least had the decency to look chargrained as he sunk into the platinum white couch. Again Leia couldn’t help but acknowledge the part she played in his growth, she always liked her pilots with a little drama. It tended to be a strong trait in her own family, she thought, her brother was an excellent pilot and as such never did anything by half when he can go ten times bigger than anyone expected. Sometimes, more than they really needed. 

“Good, I was wondering how long you’d keep playing dumb on me.”

“Playing dumb?”

“I told you not to include certain bases for a reason Dameron, I had hoped you would use some of that big hot head of yours and think about why.”

He lent forwards, resting his forearms on his knees, casting her a withering look. Of course he knew but - 

“This isn’t your war Poe.”

“Ma’am.”

“Cut the shit Poe.”

“What do you expect from me, Leia? It’s what I was put in this galaxy to do.”

“Oh spare me.”

“What else am I supposed to do? Sit here twiddling my thumbs while we wait for the empire to slowly claw its way back into control. How many more decades of fighting, how many more Alderanns-”

“Enough.”

In the nigh on decade since Leia had made the transition from a family friend to commanding office to the man in her office, they had learnt what lines to dance around. She knew to avoid his parents, to keep a careful distance during his low times and what stories to keep from his beloved wingmates. In turn, Poe had always respected her. He had always kept her past out of his arguments with her, he had always acknowledged it for the low blow that it was. A fact that seemed to suddenly dawn on him as he shot out of his seat. Silence fell over him as he froze an awkward half step away from her desk. His dark eyes were studying her, a careful effort made to keep all signs of pity off his face. As much as it stung, as much as he… was almost right, she now had him in her hands. He would do anything right now, as unfortunate as the thought was.

“You’re going to pack your bags tonight. I want you to pick the most backwater, isolated planet in the outer-rim and I don’t want to hear from you in two weeks.”

“Leia, I-”

“You know you don’t need to say anything, just please get out of here before I throttle you. I’m sure your team would appreciate you taking some time to relax.”

Poe hung his head, realising he was completely defeated. His team loved him dearly, but Leia had overheard Wexley vowing to personally strap the man to a tree in the middle of the Naatu forests.

“Yes Ma’am.” He rolled up the sleeves on his deep purple tunic as he seemed to ponder further conversation. She loved the colour on him, but she couldn’t help but notice how it matched the shadows beneath his eyes.

“And please take care, I want you back in one piece Dameron.”

He tilted his chin as he flashed her one of his shit eating smirks.

“When do I ever get in trouble?”

A little trouble would be nice.  

Poe thought as he dropped off the small rock ledge to the trail below. Addark had been on his list to visit for a while. Back when he used to take a few days off at the end of every exam period in the academy and go hiking around the galaxy. It reminded him of the weekends he would spend with his dad, going over pathfinder training without any of the urgency required by the normal regime. He found it a great way to recalibrate himself, letting the land tell him what steps to take next rather than some targeted guidance system. He’d forgotten how much he had missed it. 

He had also forgotten how utterly boring it could get. He was a filthy adrenaline junky these days. Once upon a time a good climb up a cliff face or a dive down a waterfall sent his heart soaring and set his soul free - now, now he’d flown into battle. He’d taken out fleets of tie fighters in spectacular fashion and painted his name amongst the stars with the greats. It made the small gap in the rock face he had to leap across seem almost mundane. His dad had been right, he’d lost his head in the game. Poe was fast losing to Commander Dameron. The thought made his skin crawl. He let his thoughts trail off, the crunch of red stones beneath his feet beat out a rhythm that blotted out his buzzing mind. 

Crystal birdsong floated through the cool air, cutting through the slowly rising roar of the waterfall ahead. The river was one of the clearest Poe had ever seen. At its origin, it had been so still, so clean, he was compelled to reach out and touch its steady surface, his brain convinced it would touch the rock of the riverbed below. As the ripples faded and disappeared, he had been left face to face with a man he felt had become a stranger in recent years. As the day wore on, sweat pricking across his brow, he could feel whatever force had seized his chest begin to relax. The weight of the pack slung across his back was tiring in a satisfying way, the aches in his legs felt good as he took in the fresh air. He had desperately needed this. As much as he wanted to bicker with Leia about needing to be ready to act, he had left all his work in his dorm. He assigned BB-8 to work with Kare and had brought nothing but his chrono and a small pistol tucked beneath the waistband of his trousers. He wasn’t expecting a shootout here in one of the outer-rims most remote forests, but he knew he was a magnet for trouble.

He was three days into his hike, his newfound isolation surreal after years amongst packed barracks and cramped starships. He completely crashed on his first night without Snaps rumbling snores or the late night activities of their overly amorous neighbours. Shaking his head to rid the sudden memories that cropped up, Poe decided to pick up his pace. The sky was beginning to lose its pale blue to a fantastic shade of red he’d never experienced on other planets - the scarlet streaks beautiful and haunting as they broke from the forest canopy and clawed into the sky. Soon enough, with aching feet and rumbling stomach, Poe completed his descent from the side of the mountain. He’d been tempted to seize the moment and leap from the edge into the lake below - but that would have to wait until he’d explored it properly, lest he dash his brains across some jagged boulder. 

He felt he wouldn’t bounce back from that like he’d done with so many things before. 

He dropped his pack and began setting up camp for the night. His lower back was stiff, sending tingles down his legs into his toes. He was out of practice. Poe was fit, sure, but it had been a long time since he’d trained for this kind of exercise. Maybe it would be poignant to return to some of his pathfinder training - they weren’t the troops of the glory days but there was an old soldier or two he was certain would put him on the right track.  Finally a small fire glowed beside his bedroll, heating up a small pan of portable soup. Poe found the salty broth it made bland but he wasn’t overly interested in foraging tonight. Fresh fruit was in abundance but it also required another hour or so of hiking and climbing. His months spent chasing this new phantom around the galaxy was finally catching up to him and he was wishing secretly, despite his sarcastic comments he’d flung at Leia, that he had booked one or two days in a hotel somewhere. At least he could order room service when he was tired.    

However, his regrets were limited as he finished his meal and stripped down. Cool and clear, the water made the hair along his arms prickle as he waded into the lake. He carefully propelled himself along the bed of fallen sticks and smooth stones until he was deep enough to cover his shoulders. Glinting in the moonlight, the silver chain around his neck rose and fell in the water as he washed himself, cool water acting as a soothing balm to his achy muscles. Humming an old song he couldn’t name, he kicked off the ground and let the surface of the water carry his body.

Like the water below, the sky was just as clear. An expanse of never ending darkness rippling with pinpricks of light. Millions of creatures, billions of lives. Countless languages, cultures and traditions that could never truly be catalogued. Centuries upon centuries of space exploration had only given them a surface level understanding of the galaxy around them. What stories lay behind every gem pinned on the black coat above?

Poe closed his eyes, letting the weightlessness of floating on the water bring him back to the peaceful times he spent in his ship, feeling the raw power of the engines at his command thrumming all around him, through his body and in his heart.  

Eventually, he had to surrender his peace as the chill of the night grew. He scampered back to his camp and spread out his shirt to sit on while he dried by the fire. Deep down, despite the contentedness he felt, there was something missing. His fingers came to rest at the ring on his chest. Was the answer really that simple? It felt dumb, cliche. He didn’t fall in love, it had never happened for him, so why did it bother him? He wasn’t lonely, but at times he couldn’t help but be painfully aware that he was, despite the amazing people he had around him, alone. He couldn’t say he regretted having given so much of his life to his affair with the stars, but at times like this he couldn’t help but wonder if he had given too much. What was Poe without the Navy? His dad perhaps, a small workshop on Yavin four and an old ranch? For some reason, that answer didn’t satisfy him. 

With just his hair left to dry, Poe curled up into his bedroll, weighed down by his thoughts. Thankfully, the exertions of the day caught up with him, and he drifted off to sleep as the fire simmered down to embers.

“Can you not get you not get yourself into a life-threatening situation, for FIVE MINUTES?”

His best friend's words echoed through his mind as Poe pelted down the narrow alleyway, thugs right on his tail. In his defence, he didn’t go looking for trouble, he just happened to quite literally stumble across a group armed to the teeth mercenaries as he was exiting the forest. He certainly hadn’t planned to interrupt the schemes of what turned out to be enforcers scalping the region, he just happened to accidentally uncover their plans while he just so happened to linger in some bushes nearby their camp. He could be confident that defence would serve him well when said friend eventually learnt of the shit storm Poe had caused, because there was no way he would deliberately take on ten of said mercenaries with nothing but a little pistol. Because if he did, he would have surely had a plan. Poe vaulted over the low wall, knees complaining as he impacted the ground below. No amount of sensual lake floating was gonna cure the aches he would have tonight. Maybe he could just have a local point him to the nearest spaceport and the best local hotel. Said locals ran away from him screaming as his pursuers fired bolts at their fleeing prey. Maybe he could ask later.

Come on, come on come on, where was a strategically placed fruit stall when he needed it? Realising that he was eventually going to have to stand and fight, Poe committed himself to acknowledging that maybe Snap had a point.

He seized an empty goods basket as he passed what looked to be a weaver.

“I’ll pay you back, I promise!”

He rounded the next corner, ignoring the angry shouts and waited. As the first bad baddie rounded the corner, he slammed the basket over the top of his head, quickly firing half his cartridge right where the head would hopefully be. Grimacing at the slurry of blood and brains that leaked onto the ground, he dropped the baddie and grabbed the heavy rifle strapped to his front. Thank the stars, he could at least die with a real gun. He managed to pick off the next two, who were naive enough to round the corner without checking their targets. The remainder, seven by Poe’s count, wised up to the sudden change in the battle.

“Ah so the swamp rat has some tricks?” 

Poe groaned, one of these guys, great. 

“Listen buddy, I’m not really here for a chat.” Poe called out, squatting to check two bodies quickly - if he had to play along to this crap, he was going to make the most of it.

“Tell me why an offworlder such as yourself wants to get involved in our petty squabbles?”

“Listen pal, I’m not here for a chat, back off or this will end badly.”  Poe couldn’t see the grandstander around the corner, but he could feel the smugness radiating through the air. It smelt like ale and arrogance.
“What makes you so sure?”

“Oh? Just this-” Poe launched a stun grenade around the corner. Screams followed almost immediately and he peaked around the corner. The merc he assumed was Grandstander was laying stunned on the road. He didn't give it much more thought as the remaining baddies opened fire.  It was a hard slog but it was pretty clear these guys weren’t used to people firing back. His biggest lament was the few buildings he damaged in the crossfire. Finally he’d taken out the other six. Clearly, none were donning any kind of beskar steel. 

In a move he knows he will be chewed out for, he stepped out of his cover. Six plus three equals nine. Poe had completely forgotten he’d only stunned Grandstander at the start of the shoot out. He hadn’t given the baddie enough credit to actually think about their actions. As Poe fished through his pockets for some credits while the basket weaver made a strong beeline for him from their hiding spot amongst their remaining wares.

“I’m sorry, look I’ll pay whatever just -” He was forced to stop as his breath was driven from his lungs. White hot pain exploded deep within his abdomen. 

Grandstander smirked from their prone position on the ground. Poe lifted the rifle in shaking hands and fired a bolt through that smug face. 

The rifle clattered to the ground and he quickly followed it. His mind filled with a haze of pain. Suddenly the basket weaver was in front of him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

With numb fingers, he tried to pass the bloodied credits into their hands. They looked confused, barking at him in words his brain no longer understood.

“Keep the change”

Then he fainted.

Poe hovered in half-consciousness, his mind a haze as he felt his body moving without his permission. Heat on his face gave way to something cooler, the light hitting his lids dimming. Hands push and prodded, ignoring his whimpers. Why wouldn’t they just let him sleep in peace? Voices argued back and forth, the occasional word broke through his cotton packed brain, reminding him he wasn’t exactly within the arms reach of a bacta tank.

“We can’t Lena, we’ll lose him to infection.”

“What, so we let the metal poison him first? Gant uses dirty pellet guns, poor lad would have been better off taking a bolt point blank.”

Oooh, they were talking about him. He was the lad in question.

“Call… alliance.” He grated out, his brain punishing him by setting the world spinning afresh. He could really use a strong drink.

“Why would the alliance be interested in a scrap of a boy like you.”

Really, what was with all the talking around here? He would never complain about the blunt service he received in the food hall again, at least he could get a message across without having to answer a dozen questions first.

“I'm a navy, Commander. Commander Dameron.” He managed to open his eyes. The ceiling above him belonged to one of the thatched huts on the outskirts of the village. He caught a glimpse of basket weaver, but the one tending to him was a wizened man, his grey-yellow hair bent at angles across his scalp.

“Not even your navy is going to make it here fast enough to save you boy.” The man turned away for a second, Poe grunted as he felt pressure on his chest, the man's eyes flickering to him for a moment. “You got a nasty piece of work buried in your chest here. If you want any of your friends in the Navy to see you up and walking again, we’ve got to get this out.

Backroom surgery was not how Poe wanted to die. His mind conjured gruesome images of his skin dissolving, falling away from his body as infection set in.

“Please, I have a locator.” He tried to lift the arm his chrono was strapped to,

“We’ll activate it, but there’s a fair chance you’ll be dead by the time it pings.”

Poe was suddenly full of an energy he hadn’t felt in a long time. Sheer bloody terror. He tried to launch himself off the table he’d been laid on.

"I don't want to die please. Please let me go." He screamed, hands suddenly pinning him to the table. He could feel the air on his shredded skin. 

"Be still pilot. You're making this worse." The man chided, more hands coming to stop his fight. 

"Pleasepleaseplease......"

He felt his skin splitting. All he could do was scream. He screamed and screamed.

It was agony, everything hurt.

"Stop. Please." He whimpered to the shadow that was touching his face.

Sheer agony obliterated every thought. There was no world beyond every thrumming pulse of electric pain.

Had there ever been a time before this pain?

“Get his locator, we need to get him help!”

“You’re a madman Jacoab, performing surgery-” 

Poe lost consciousness as he felt the tiny shards of steel being pulled from his chest.

He was caught in a torturing push and pull between the waking world and his pain filled dreams. 

“He’s running a fever.” Something cold and wet travelled down his neck and across his chest. Poe was unable to voice his displeasure at being manhandled as he was pulled forwards as the thing travelled down his back.

“Stupid kid, dying for other’s battles”

“Don’t condemn him just yet. Look at these scars, he’s a survivor.”

As Poe fought for clarity, he realised he must have been moved from the table he passed out on. He had been tucked in amongst what he guessed were pillows and his bare upper body was covered by something that clung uncomfortably to his skin.

A rough but not unkind hand brushed against his cheek. “Are you with us pilot?”
“Not sure.” His breath felt cold in his lungs. He opened his eyes to a kindly woman tending him, her grey hair shrouding her dark eyes. 

“Thank you young man, I’m sorry you are paying our price.”

Price? Hadn’t Poe given the credits to the weaver? He went to sit up, he wasn’t about to leave this place with a debt in his name.

“Easy there pilot, you aren’t well.

That one was clear. He could feel his heart drop through his stomach, his lungs following as he was losing his grasp on the waking world.

“Poe, I’m Poe.”

A warm hand returned to his face.
“Rest now, Poe.”

"Poe, Poe I need you to wake up."

Ice was growing on his skin, shards piercing through his skin and into his lungs. He was so cold. He was in agony. 

"Come on Poe, I'm right here." Poe whined, it hurt. He hurt. He could feel the heat of his own tears against the cold air. Beneath him the world rocked and swayed as he stewed in whatever pit of fire and ice he had been condemned to.

I'm right here, little one.

"Ma-"

He regretted talking as the ice crystals shredded through his lungs.

"It's Karé, Poe. You were injured."

It took everything he had to pry his eyes open. He could hear raised voices, their words garbled and grating. He felt hands touching his cheeks once again, trying to rouse him.

"Hey Poe, I need you to look at me."

He tried to focus on the face, familiar, something about it told him that his pain would end soon. He should listen to that voice. 

"Please..." He jerked as ice gritted in his lungs, his stomach forced its way up his throat, pain lancing into his mouth as he vomited. He didn’t care where. 

"We're getting you out of here, flyboy. You're safe now." Safe? No, he was dying. He was going to die. They had opened his chest, left him bare, he was going to die in some backwater village. He was going to die before leaving his mark on the world. He would never find what was missing, he would never find his purpose beyond his calling to space.

Time to go home

"Mum?"

"Hey hotshit, don't pull this on me."

Poe didn't understand anything beyond the pain clawing at his chest.

"Fucking asshole Kes needs you-"

Hold on little one

“Poe, please stay with me. I can’t lose you. Please. ”

tbc…