Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Just as the throwing knife left her fingers, something buzzed by Mandana’s ear. The knife hit the center of the bullseye, but not before slicing through the blue orb that had suddenly appeared before her face.

“KayKay! You surprised me,” said Mandana. “I did not know that you and Logan had arrived.”

KayKay bobbed up and down in greeting, and then she zipped across the room, to the wall where Mandana displayed her trophies.

Mandana smiled and followed her. She was not upset to have her practice interrupted; KayKay seemed excited about whatever she wanted to discuss, and Mandana quite enjoyed the silent rapport she had developed with the small ghost. KayKay appreciated her blunt honesty in a way few adults did. Mandana was her guru of sorts, the one she came to specifically to ask questions that Logan would neither answer nor ask for her — “cuz u wont BS me,” as KayKay had so concisely put it.

“I polished this one most recently,” said Mandana, indicating a blade with a mirror finish. Since ghost hands could not disturb Mandana’s carefully arranged display, her swords were the perfect medium for their conversations, even though the limited space forced KayKay to write in text-speak.

KayKay hovered in front of the sword, her translucent blue form just obscuring it as she fogged up the metal and wrote a question. “r u + Eli dating?”

“Oh!” Mandana’s eyes widened. KayKay’s curiosity usually concerned the darker, grittier details of their missions and the forces the Unavowed were up against, and Mandana provided those answers gladly. But she was not keen on describing the intricacies of her sex life to a child. “No. Eli and I are not dating.” That was the truth, if only because they had never been on a proper date.

KayKay moved quickly to replace the words on the sword. “Well u shld date him”

“Do you really think so?”

“yes! ur cute 2gether!! :P” KayKay wrote feverishly, allowing Mandana barely enough time to read each one of her thoughts before erasing it and writing the next one. “He hugs u when ur sad.” “its cute when u argue.” “u make googoo eyes @ each othr” It was difficult to tell with the dead, but KayKay seemed to have plenty of conviction on this subject, and it was starting to make Mandana’s head spin. “u make him laff” “+ vicki said —”

“KayKay!” A soft but stern voice made KayKay stop writing in the middle of the sentence. “You’re not telling Mandana what we talked about, are you?”

“Hello, Logan,” said Mandana. “I am glad to see you. KayKay and I were just having a conversation about Eli.”

KayKay bolted away from the wall and hid behind Logan. “I told you, that’s way too personal,” Logan whispered to the blue orb. Then he turned to Mandana. “Hey, I’m really sorry about that. We caught a few episodes of an old dating show on TV and KayKay thinks she can be a matchmaker now.” Logan paused and listened behind him for a moment. “No, I still don’t think those dogs were kissing. I think they both just wanted the same toy.” He laughed and shook his head. “She’s been staring at you and Eli a lot lately, which I told her was rude and creepy. But she says she can’t stop because she ‘ships’ you two, whatever that means.”

“I cannot fault her for having an imagination,” said Mandana, hoping Logan could not see the blush that KayKay’s suggestion had brought to her cheeks. “I hope that my answer did not disappoint you, KayKay, and if it did, I apologize.”

Logan listened as KayKay floated back up to the adults’ eye level. “Well, she still thinks she’s right. But she says she’s sorry for bothering you. Okay, now let’s let Mandana train for a while.”

The two of them went through the curtain into the parlor. Mandana pulled a rag from her pocket and wiped the fog from the sword. The TrollGate theme music started playing from the next room, and it just barely masked Logan’s voice. But Mandana had excellent ears, and she could hear him: “Really? She said no? Huh. Well, you had me pretty convinced.”

She understood how he felt.

Chapter Text

“I should be able to gauge how far out the root system extends from the roof. Be vigilant in case any vines spawn, but wait here for me as long as you are able.” Mandana nodded at Eli and Vicki, threw Eli an extra wink, then leapt onto the storefront’s awning and began to climb. The brick edifice that would appear a flat surface to anybody else was like a rock wall to her; her feet and fingers instinctively found every divot and grip hidden among the masonry. Eli had seen this exact stunt performed dozens of times and was still mesmerized by her grace and the beauty of it all. Vicki stood wide-eyed next to him, craning her neck to watch Mandana ascend and biting her lip nervously every time she stopped to rest on a windowsill. He wished he could see it for the first time again.

He tilted his head in Vicki’s direction and sighed conversationally. “Isn’t she something?”

“Uh-huh,” Vicki mumbled. “Yeah.” Her gaze snapped to Eli and she frowned.

Once Mandana had disappeared from view, Eli went to rest on a nearby bench. But Vicki stayed pacing on the sidewalk. She seemed particularly restless today, rubbing her palms against her pant legs and obsessively checking every corner of the block for signs of the carnivorous Yateveo tree. After a minute, they heard a bird call from above. Eli couldn’t see Mandana on the roof, but he returned the signal as best he could, a thin wolf whistle to match Mandana’s flawless imitation of a plover. He wicked the saliva from his fingertips and chuckled self-deprecatingly.

“So, you’re obviously sleeping with her.” Vicki was staring at him, hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Don't play dumb with me, Beckett,” she said. “I saw how you were looking at her this morning. Staring at her like you know exactly what she’s hiding under those baggy clothes."

“Jesus…” She really was a good detective. Eli didn’t remember doing any ogling, but he wasn’t surprised to learn he’d been doing it unconsciously.They’d had an incredible night. “Yes. You’re right. Mandana and I… get in bed sometimes.”

"That’s real fucking classy. Hey, when were you gonna tell me and Logan about this? Because you’re not alone with her anymore. We’re all a team now, and and you don’t keep secrets from teammates. Especially if you’re fucking one of your other teammates. You don’t hide that!"

Eli hadn’t seen Vicki this worked up since the day they met, when her anger had been the product of loneliness and frustration. Being on this side of it felt awful. “Now calm down, Vicki. I promise, nobody is trying to hide anything. I guess it just never occurred to us to tell you.”

Vicki clenched and relaxed her jaw. “So are you her boyfriend, or what?”

“No,” he lied. “We’re friends who have occasional sex. That’s all.”

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Thirty years, Vicki.”

“Thirty— Oh…” Vicki’s features softened as realization and a faint blush set across her face. “Oh shit.” She slowly lowered her arms and sat on the bench next to Eli. “I forgot. Things aren’t always that simple for immortals.” She put her head in her hands. “I’m a fucking moron. Sorry for blowing up like that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Eli said, putting a reassuring hand on her back. “I know you weren’t really angry with me, anyway.”

Vicki raised her head. “Yeah? Tell me why the fuck I was yelling at you, then,” she scoffed.

Eli smiled. “I think that somebody is feeling a little jealous because she has a crush on Mandana.”

“What? Yeah right.” Vicki’s face got redder.

“You’re a pretty good detective, but I raised two teenage daughters. I know the signs. And I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

Vicki narrowed her eyes, and Eli worried that he’d offended her again. But then, reluctantly, she spoke. “Fine. Okay. I have a thing for Mandana,” she said. “She’s beautiful, and badass, and so mysterious. I want a chance to spend time with her and just pick her brain so I can figure her out, you know?”

That was Mandana, all right. “I absolutely understand why you like her so much,” Eli said.

“And you’re really okay with that?”

Eli pressed his lips together. He didn’t know if he was okay with it or not. “I told you already, there isn’t really a relationship to threaten—”

“Forget about that for a second. I mean, are you cool with the whole ‘gay’ thing?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

Vicki smirked. “I mean, yeah, man. No offense, but you’re old. You’re the same age as my nonna, and I’d tell that old bat I’m fighting fucking man-eating trees for a living before I even consider coming out to her.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me. Fifty years ago I might have cared, but exposure to the supernatural tends to make you more open-minded. Not to mention, uh…” Eli hesitated and withdrew his hand. “I couldn’t be friends with Mandy if I disapproved of a woman loving another woman.”

“So, are you saying that Mandana…?”

“She has had female lovers, yes.” In the past decade she’d had only one lover, a man. But Eli decided not to share that. Vicki was smiling, and not in her usual sardonic manner. It was almost a girlish grin, a joyful look that Eli couldn’t bear to bring down. Seeing that, he knew what he had to say. Just thinking the words hurt more than he expected, but to strike Vicki down would be selfish. “If you really like her that much, you should talk to Mandy. She’s her own person. Don’t wait for permission from me.” He had no exclusive right to anybody.

Vicki’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak. She was interrupted by a bird call.

“The Yateveo is about to attack!” Mandana cried, bringing the two of them to their feet. She leapt onto the sidewalk from a high windowsill and grabbed Vicki by the waist, pulling her back. “You are not keeping adequate watch.”

A web of spindly roots had torn through a crack in the pavement and was creeping towards the bench. Eli jumped out of the way before they started to wrap around the wooden legs, melding with them. He conjured a fireball and struck the roots where they had emerged, scorching the ends and disconnecting them from the Yateveo. They were safe for now. He knew Mandana had come to Vicki’s rescue because he was the one best equipped to fight a monster tree. But when he looked back at the two women, he saw Vicki, flustered from the suddenness of the attack and by the sight of her rescuer. Mandana nodded approvingly at him, but her grip around Vicki was tight. Eli felt a twinge of jealousy, but he swallowed it down. All for his friend. His good friend Vicki.

Chapter Text

The waiter arrived with coffee for both women and asked for their lunch orders. Mandana only wanted a small house salad.

“Just bring me the biggest, most caloriffic meal you have!” said Calli, proudly handing over her unopened menu; she hadn’t so much as glanced at it since they’d arrived. The waiter made a face as he turned away, but Calli didn’t seem to notice. She dumped sweetener into her coffee as she leaned forward. “So, what did you think of that model?” she whispered.

Mandana took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. It was lukewarm. She was too used to getting her tea and coffee scalding hot to be served beverages by mundanes. She had really only come to this place to humor Calli, who said it was the best coffee she’d tasted in all fourteen months of being human. “His performance was impressive,” she conceded. “His body language in the photographs did an uncanny job of communicating that feeling… that vulnerability of seeing your own life through the eyes of the outside world for the first time.”

“Wow.” The corners of Calli’s eyes crinkled. “That was crazy deep. This is why I love taking you to galleries, Mandana. You have insights like that and you were never even a muse!” Blonde locks fell over her face as she tilted her head with a smile. “Are you sure you were never a muse?”

A familiar tightening in the back of Mandana’s skull confirmed that it was a rhetorical question, not one meant in earnest. She rolled her eyes but smiled. Calli’s sense of humor was lousy, but this was after centuries of having no sense of humor to speak of. “I assure you, the insights granted by your experience are far more profound than mine. Although you had uncharacteristically little to say this afternoon.”

Calli fell back into her seat and frowned. Mandana suddenly worried that she had offended her somehow. “Yeah, I know,” she said with a sigh, absentmindedly stirring her coffee. “I got a little distracted. I saw that model in person and all of a sudden all I could think was that I wanted him to bend me over a table, right then and there.”

Mandana nearly spit out her coffee. “I do not recall you being this hedonistic the first time we met, Calliope.”

“I was still a muse back then, duh. Listen, not to brag, but I’ve inspired plenty of pornography in my time. I used to not get what the big deal was; I’ve got a dress on in that painting and there’s some dude grabbing my naked tits in this one, big whup. But now that I’m a human myself, I understand: humans are very sexy.” Calli removed the spoon from her coffee and stuck it in her mouth with a suggestive “Mmmm!” that drew stares from the other patrons. “It’s not like you’re so prudish. I remember how fast you got into that one soldier’s tent in Havana; your mom basically had to drag you out of there.” She put the spoon on the saucer and placed a hand under her chin. “Having that hottie all to yourself back home must keep you pretty satisfied, huh?”

It was obvious, but just because Mandana knew the answer, it did not mean she couldn’t still ask. “And to whom, exactly, are you referring?”

Calli smirked. “Girl, your face is every visible shade of red right now,” she said. “You know exactly who I’m talking about, Mandy, and you are smitten with him.”

“I believe you have the wrong impression. Eli and I are friends who approach each other for physical comfort on occasion. Perhaps with more frequency now, but — ”

“But are friends with benefits really all you are?”

Mandana could feel her blush now. The warmth recalled the feeling of Eli caressing her cheek, which was not making the conversation any more comfortable. “I… I do not wish to discuss this any further.”

“Oh no no, I’m not dropping this.” Calliope got to her feet and slammed two palms onto the diner table, splashing coffee. She had an excited grin on her face. “I can recognize a love story when I hear it. How do you think the Hallmark writers were able to churn out all of those shitty romcoms so fast? That’s me, baby. And right now I am living in a romcom!” She was nearly shouting. Mandana had a veil but Calliope didn’t; she was only drawing unnecessary attention to herself, and she didn’t seem to care. “This is the part where the quirky best friend has to convince the leading lady to confess her feelings for the romantic lead. And because you’re a Jinn, my job should be pretty easy. Just do what I tell you: Say that you’re just friends with Eli.”

“You know I cannot say that.”

“Okay, say that you aren’t in love with him.”

Mandana parted her lips as if to comply, and then hesitated. “I can’t say that, either.”

Calli closed her eyes and took a triumphant breath. She spoke slowly. “Now say that you are in love with Eli.”

Mandana’s throat was clear, her mouth prepared to form the letters. The strangulation of her vocal cords that occurred whenever she attempted to lie was not happening. Her body was telling her this was an unambiguous truth. Anything she could say to Calli in this moment would be a confession — both to Calli, and to herself.

“I will not say that,” Mandana declared, motioning for Calli to sit back down. She could see their food coming. “I refuse.”

“And that means you could say it if you wanted to, which means it’s true. How’s that for an insight?” Calliope sat down with a huge grin on her face. She swung from triumphant to grumpy when the waiter dully informed that her doughnut burger with fried egg and bacon would take at least twenty more minutes to properly prepare. Mandana offered her friend a small house salad to tide her over during the wait. She wasn’t hungry anymore.

Chapter Text

His legal name (as legal as they could make it) was Denny Tsu. Denny Tsu, a friendless, penniless twenty-something who landed both his studio apartment and his line cook job on the merits of a mysterious reference letter that he had begged them not to send. He shuffled out the back door into the alley behind the diner and slumped against the wall to bitterly ruminate on how he had gotten to this point. It was a sad and terrifying sight. The kid only ever raised his head now when he was cooking, or when he heard one familiar word.

“Kevin…”

Kevin’s gaze snapped up. His hair was disheveled and there were deep circles under his eyes; even without the Ba Jiao Gui haunting his dreams, his nights were still sleepless. “Oh god. Not you again,” he muttered as Eli stepped into the alleyway.

“Just saying hi after picking up some dinner for the team,” Eli said conversationally, holding up some plastic bags. “Two cheeseburgers, a veggie burger, and a gyro. They all smell delicious.”

“I filled that order twenty minutes ago. You know that’s going to be cold and nasty by the time you get home, right?”

“And what makes you think cold food would be a problem for me?”

“It’ll never be good as fresh again. Anyway, I know why you’re really here.” Kevin looked at the ground as he fished something out of his apron pocket. “I only get a five minute smoke break. I’ll answer any questions you have, but you’d better give me a light first.” He pointed the filter of a cigarette at Eli.

Eli grimaced. “I didn’t realize you were a smoker, Kevin.”

“I wasn’t until recently. Come on, hurry up.”

Eli shook his head in disappointment as he pinched the cigarette between his fingers and lit it. “They don’t call these things ‘cancer sticks’ for nothing, kiddo.”

“Yeah, I don’t really care.” Kevin’s voice was short. “Jeez, just listen to yourself…”

“Excuse me?”

“The sorry looks? Advice I didn’t ask for?” Kevin twisted his face in annoyance. “I get that you Unavowed people need to keep tabs on me after all the shit that went down. I get it. But I don’t need all this ‘kiddo’ crap from you. I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself. I don’t need a new dad.” The gravity of what he had said took a moment to land, but suddenly Kevin’s eyes were full of tears. He looked like he’d just been slapped across the face. His hand went limp and the cigarette fell, unsmoked, onto the pavement. Eli quickly stomped it out. He recognized the look of remembrance on Kevin’s face and knew it was best to give him a moment. He couldn’t know for certain what was going through the young man’s mind, but he could hazard a guess.

Eli saw himself in Kevin. How could he not? A family gone, and forced to abandon everything he knew and cared about because someone he didn’t even know had made him out to look like a monster. Eli wanted to believe himself savvy enough that he would have stretched out that jackpot for a while longer, but why kid himself? When he’d been in the place Kevin was now, he would have burned through that money in weeks, perhaps even literally.

It pained him how quiet Kevin was when he finally spoke up again. “Just get it over with, okay?”

Eli asked Kevin all the standard questions: Have you witnessed any supernatural activity you wish to report? Have you experienced any residual side effects from your close encounter with void activity? Have you discussed your experiences with anyone else, void-touched or not? Keeping in mind our limited resources, what aid do you feel the Unavowed can provide you? Kevin insisted that nothing had changed since the last time they spoke. He kept glancing impatiently at the door leading back inside. Eli couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t gotten out another cigarette.

“We just want to make sure you’re safe, Kevin,” said Eli once the check-up was complete. “That’s what the Unavowed stand for.”

“Yeah. I know.” Kevin sighed. “Look, I won’t tell you to stop ordering from the diner, because we need the business. But, uh, maybe have your wife come pick it up next time, instead of you.”

“My… wife?” Eli’s stomach dropped. His wounds were older than Kevin’s and nearly scarred over, but they were still there, and he was certain Kevin could recognize the remembrance in his eyes as his mind flashed back to Donna. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a… I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“You’re not married to that genie lady?”

“Jinn,” Eli corrected reflexively before he fully realized what Kevin was saying. “Wait, what? No, no, Mandana is not my wife.” It came out more severely than he had intended it to.

“Oh, sorry. I just… assumed.” Kevin pressed his lips together, as if debating whether to say what he was thinking. “You remind me of them when I see you together. That’s all. Always on each others’ case about something, but at the end of the day you care about each other more than anything and you’re a team, and nothing can get between that. I’ve never met two people more like my parents, actually.” He paused. “Don’t… take that to mean anything, though.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Eli was the one staring at the ground now and wallowing in self-pity. He stayed that way long enough that Kevin didn’t even bother to say goodbye and slipped back into the diner as Denny Tsu without even a word.

Just as well. The food in his hand was damn near freezing at this point; the rest of the team was going to give him hell for being too chatty. But he couldn’t stop himself from acting paternal. That was just the way he was, and he understood how that would make Kevin wary of him. The kid was so hesitant to accept help from anybody for fear of betraying his parents, his very first support system. And Eli began to wonder if he was not letting a similar hangup prevent him from loving again.

He thought of Donna, whose eye color he couldn’t even remember. She would always be his first great love, but she had been gone for so long. Would she not want him to move on?

Chapter Text

“I just spoke with San Francisco,” Mandana announced from the top of the stairs.

“Huh?” Eli’s reply was distracted as always. She hated to interrupt him, but her matter was urgent.

“I spoke to Boqs.”

“Oh. Oh. Do you need —”

“Badly.” Mandana started unlacing her blouse as she descended into the cold basement. When she got there, Eli was already sitting on his bed, his coat discarded next to his book on the desk for improved dexterity. She sat down next to him with a huff and bared her shoulders. “Work your magic.”

“Hey, hey, gimme a second,” Eli said with a chuckle. “It’s a delicate process, I’m not going to be ready just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Or maybe I am. Huh. Once you get into a routine…”

“Eli, you are only making me more tense.”

“Of course. How’s this?”

And then she felt it, the warmth on her shoulders that was not quite hot enough to burn her but just the right temperature to make the stress she was carrying melt away. Eli kneaded his palms gently into the curve of Mandana’s muscles, and she sighed, relaxing into the touch of his hands. This had become their tradition: after Mandana communicated with other chapters of the Unavowed, Eli would give her a shoulder rub. The other branch leadership could be unpleasant and seemed to resent her for trying to fill her father’s shoes, and they had long ago discovered that Eli’s fire powers let him give a massage that could help her forget all sorts of unpleasantness.

Eli helped her roll out a crick in her neck. “I’ll never get why San Francisco chose that Sasquatch to represent them. What did he say this time?”

“It is not a matter of what he said so much as a matter of what I said. Boqs heard tell of Logan’s utility and decided his ranks needed a Bestower of their own. He will not cease interrogating me over where he can find one, and he refuses to accept my answer that we came upon Logan by way of sheer luck. So I called him a pea-brained blowhard.”

“Mandy!” Eli paused the back rub in incredulity before frantically moving his hands again, remembering what could happen if he left his heated hands on her bare skin for too long.

“I know it is unlike me to cast insults,” Mandana said. “But it felt good to speak an unfiltered truth. As of late, I have been forced to twist my words quite a bit more often than I am comfortable.”

“Here’s hoping your little blow-up didn’t undo all of that work.” 

“I do not speak of diplomacy. I have been receiving many questions of a personal nature that I did not wish to answer, from several different people.”

“And you can’t just tell them you don’t want to answer?”

“I do try. But they keep asking until I say something that satisfies them. People have the most curious fixation on the nature of our relationship. Calliope is absolutely insistent, for instance. I recall Melkhiresa had questions after having barely known us a week. Even KayKay sees us as a romantic pair, and you know how careful one must be with the truth when around children.”

“Heh.” Mandana expected Eli to act awkward and embarrassed when she told him, but instead, he laughed. “I know exactly what you mean. Kevin Huang evidently thought we were married.

Ridiculous, Mandana thought, before feeling a dull pang in her gut. She was lying to herself. “But is that so ridiculous?” she said, replying both to him and herself. 

“What do you mean?” Eli had moved on to running his hands up and down her upper arms, over her blouse. His touch relieved a soreness in her biceps that she hadn’t even noticed before.

“We are intimate with each other, in so many ways.” She hesitated before moving her hand to her upper arm, over his. “We share things with each other that we share with no one else. It is understandable why others would say we are a couple. But we need something to tell them when they ask. So what do you think, Eli?” She turned to look at him. “Are we in love?”

Eli’s eyes widened, and he furrowed his brow in thought. All the while, the fire continued to bubble under his skin. He was being so careful to restrain his magic and only let out enough heat to please Mandana. That he would take such a deadly, fearsome power and use it to nurture her spoke to the kind of man he was. Good. Thoughtful. The sort of man who could be aggravating as all hell and still incredibly easy to love.

Mandana knew how she felt about him, and it dawned on her quite suddenly that whatever Eli said next could end the wonderful thing they had forever. “Wait.” She needed to hold onto it just a little longer. “Don’t answer.” She swung her legs around and fully embraced him, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and her other hand combing through his hair as she caught his lips, already slightly parted, in hers. Eli made a noise of surprise, instinctively drawing his hands away so as not to accidentally burn her. But he fell into the kiss soon enough. Mandana untucked his shirt and worked on the buttons, bottom to top, while Eli’s hands, as always, went to her scarf first. She smiled against his lips with bitter tears in her eyes as she felt her hair brush over her shoulders. The air in the basement was freezing cold against her bare skin, but then he was there with her, heating her body with more than just his hands.

Mandana with her hair down was one of the most beautiful things Eli had ever seen. He had seen real unicorns, which were just as majestic as one would imagine, and he had caught glimpses through the void of worlds made of clouds and children's dreams. But none of it compared to her as she lay next to him right now, the look of satisfaction on her face haloed by long black hair streaked with vibrant reds and steely grays. Eli could have lost himself looking at it, caressing it, and whispering sweet words into it, if there weren’t more important matters before him.

“Seriously, Mandy, what’s wrong?” he asked. He had noticed her crying while they were making love, but when he paused to ask her about it, she had kissed him defiantly and wrapped herself more tightly around him.

Mandana sat up in bed and turned to look at him. Despite her contentedness, her green eyes were still rimmed with red. “I cannot stand the scrutiny,” she said. “The questions, the assumptions, the knowledge that everyone’s eyes are on us. The things I feel when we are together are… wonderful, but I fear the consequences of bringing them to light.”

“Maybe this isn’t the right term, but Mandy… are you breaking up with me?”

“The opposite. I am begging you that our relationship remain as it always has. I asked you a question and you should not answer it.” She spoke slowly, as if taking great care not to speak a certain truth. “Putting a name to what exists between us will only lead to more prying and gossip. Am I understood?” 

“Understood. Now come here.” Eli put a hand in hers and gently guided her back into his arms. Call him selfish, but he never wanted the pillow talk to end with her. There were physical sensations he couldn’t get enough of, from her sultry voice in his ear to her silken hair fanned out under both of their shoulders, and of course, there was the emotional vulnerability he couldn’t get out of her anywhere else. Eli didn’t need an excuse to tell stories about his family, but the afterglow was where he had learned the most about Mandana’s mother and heard both her warmest and her bitterest memories of Kalash. And it was here, often, where they would cry together over whatever mutual trauma had driven them into bed. To his knowledge there had been no such trauma this time, just a roll in the hay for the hell of it. And yet, warm tears were beginning to fall onto his shoulder again. He squeezed her hand. “Look, I know there’s something you’re not telling me. Why are you crying?”

Mandana was quiet for several moments — collecting her thoughts. That was rare for her to do. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet. “Because I am in love with you,” she said. “I only became aware of it recently, and resisting it has been painful. But I have been afraid to say it out loud. I have been afraid of how admitting it could change our relationship.”

Eli hadn’t much pondered her question specifically — after all, there was only so much thinking he could do while she was absolutely rocking his world. But this was a thought he had been holding onto for weeks now, and she needed to hear it. He took her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumb. “Mandana,” he said. “I love you too. That’s it. We’re in love. But that doesn’t mean anything has to change.”

Mandana said nothing, but as distressed as she had just been, he could now see the spark of a smile in her eyes.

“I don’t know how this happened, but somehow we skipped right over that teenage ‘Gotta scream your name from the rooftops’ love and went straight for ‘Married for fifty years’ love. We have our thing, our routine, and we’re comfortable with it. There’s no need to start having candlelight dinners or send out wedding invitations. You don’t have to, I don’t know, move out of your bottle and sleep in the basement with me. All that matters is that we love each other, and that we know it.”

Mandana was really smiling now. She leaned forward to kiss him, slotting her soft lips between his with a sigh. When she pulled away, she whispered, “That was a beautiful sentiment, and I shall take it to heart. But it fails to solve the problem of what we are to tell people when they ask about our relationship.”

“Easy,” Eli said. “We tell them that we’re in love and that it’s none of their business what that means.”

They lay there holding each other for a while, settling in to the new but familiar idea of being in love. It was Mandana who eventually made the move to get dressed, bravely abandoning the warmth of the sheets. As she shivered and searched for her bra under the bed, she said, “Detective Santina asked me to dinner. Just her and myself. I believe she has romantic intentions.”

“What did you say?” Eli responded cautiously. He pulled his boxers back on under the covers. 

“I told her I would consider it, and I have. But now that my relationship with you has been defined, I can see that there is no way —”

“Do you like her?”

“What?”

“Do you like Vicki?”

“Well, yes.” Mandana seemed taken aback. She paused as she laced up her pants. “She is intelligent, impressive in combat, and entertaining to be around. And she certainly is an attractive woman.”

“Then you should go for it.”

“But, Eli, you are the one I love, not her.”

“I encouraged her to ask you out,” Eli admitted. He almost couldn’t believe what he was saying, but he knew it was right. “I told you, nothing has to change between us. I didn’t have a problem with you being with other people before, and I don’t have a problem with it now.” He would always be a little jealous; he couldn’t control that. But to his own surprise, what he was saying was true — now that he knew Mandana loved him, he had no problem sharing her. 

“But if I were to pursue a relationship with Vicki, surely she would need to be informed of our status,” said Mandana

“To make sure she’s okay with it. Of course.” Eli paused. “Does that mean you’re considering it?”

“I am.” Mandana put her hands on his shoulders and said firmly, “But only if you are comfortable with it.” She placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

They were both standing and mostly clothed now, but Eli felt more exposed to her than he had in a long time. And that was good. That was love, and he was more than happy to be in it again. “I am totally comfortable,” he said. And not just with Vicki. With everything.