Archive of Our Own ^beta

Bill and Ted weren't exactly sure about their wedding, but they were still buzzing with some sort of excitement.

The wedding didn't exactly feel right to them. They impulsively proposed to their princess girlfriends while they were both unsure of their relationships, and it was too late to back out now. Besides, they were making their fathers happy for once, and at least they could have their wedding together.

Bill and Ted were getting ready in the same room. Bill was fumbling with his tie, and Ted was fixing his hair in the mirror. Neither of them said a word to each other, but they knew that there was a hint of anxiety in the room.

"Can you help me with my tie, dude?" Bill asked, breaking the silence. "My dad never taught me how."

"Sure, dude," Ted said, walking over to his friend. He tied Bill's black tie. Captain Logan had taught him when he was very young, in hopes of getting his son to grow up to be a future police captain, but that surely wasn't going to happen now.

"Thanks," Bill mumbled.

"No problem," Ted said. "Dude, I hate suits. I'd rather be wearing sweatpants or a t-shirt."

Bill laughed. "Suits are the most uncomfortable of clothing items."

"Agreed."

They were silent for a moment, and they just looked at each other. Bill stared up at his friend and couldn't help but feel his cheeks turning red. It was his wedding day; he couldn't let the weird, mixed, unknown feelings he had for Ted get in the way.

It had always been this way, for both of them. There had always been this tension mixed in with this comfort between them. They told each other almost everything, and always stuck together, but neither of them could figure out exactly how they felt for each other. Both of them just told themselves it was a brotherly affection, but deep down inside, they knew that wasn't the case. Ted didn't like Bill the brotherly way he liked Deacon, but he didn't want to admit that.

"We probably should get out there," Ted exclaimed. "We don't want to be late for our own wedding."

Soon enough, the two men were standing up at the alter, anxiously waiting for their brides to come strolling down the aisle. Several people they knew were in the audience, and they were all as anxious as they were. The organ started playing, and the doors slowly opened. Rufus came down the aisle with both princesses on his arms. The princesses stood next to their individual fiancé. Elizabeth grinned at Ted, and he couldn't help but give an uncertain, nervous smile back.

The priest started talking, and thoughts raced through Bill and Ted's minds. They wanted to turn away and run off to God knows where. Maybe it was just nerves, but they were beginning to regret their decisions.

"Joanna and Elizabeth, do you take Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted 'Theodore' Logan to be your lawfully wedded husbands, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the priest asked.

"I do," the princesses said in unison.

"Bill and Ted, do you take Joanna and Elizabeth to be your lawfully wedded wives, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

Bill and Ted hesitated. They didn't say I do; they just awkwardly nodded, and that was good enough.

The priest said a few more words, and then said, "If there is any reason why these four should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

There was a beat of silence, and then the doors burst open.

"We object!" two girls screamed.

Everyone turned to look around at the objectors. They were two girls that Bill and Ted didn't recognize, but they still looked familiar. One of the girls was tall, had long, black hair in a ponytail, and looked very similar to Ted. The other girl was short, had short blonde-ish and orange-ish hair, and looked very similar to Bill. They looked very serious about the objection.

"Who are you two?" Bill asked.

"We're from the future, dudes," the dark-haired girl said. "And you cannot marry the princesses."

Everyone gasped, either in disbelief or just shock in general.

"We would know," the blonde one said. "We're your daughters."

Everyone gasped again.

Bill and Ted glanced at the good robot versions of themselves in the audience, who had their sons in their laps. Daughters? Neither of them were sure about that.

The dark-haired one hurried up the aisle and over to Ted. "Please, Dad, do this for me, if you don't do this then you'll mess up the timeline."

Ted wasn't sure if he believed it, until two more familiar faces stepped in the room.

"We object!" two other people yelled out. It was Bill and Ted from the future!

"You guys are late," the blonde one said. "We already objected."

"Bogus," future Bill and Ted said.

Bill and Ted were both in shock. They looked so much older! They didn't look bad, per se, but it was still bewildering to see what you would look like several years in the future.

"Past us, you guys have to call off the wedding," Future Bill explained. "You two have to come to your senses and confess your most obvious feelings for each other!"

Another gasp from the audience.

Ted shook his head. He looked like he was going to throw up, or pass out, or something.

"I need some fresh air," Ted said, and he ran out.

"Ted, wait!" Bill called out, and followed his friend.

Bill and Ted ran outside. The phone booth was in the parking lot. So they really were from the future.

"Bill, I don't know what to do!" Ted cried. "What do they mean by feelings? Why do we have to call off the wedding?"

"I don't know, dude," Bill replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. "This whole situation is most non-non-heinous."

"Gentlemen, a word, please?"

Bill and Ted turned around. Rufus was standing there.

"Did you know that this would happen?" Bill asked.

"Of course. I am from the future, after all," Rufus said. "I can't give you all of the answers, but I can lead you in the right direction."

Bill and Ted gave Rufus a puzzled look.

"I want you two to think about how you feel about each other," Rufus said. "Have you ever thought that you two like each other in a different way?"

Bill and Ted looked at each other, and the feeling that Bill felt when he was looking at Ted earlier came back to him. Things started to click in their heads.

"Ted?"

"Yes, Bill?"

"This is a most awkward situation, but... yeah, I think I love you, dude."

"I feel the same."

"What about the princesses? What will they say?"

"They turn out to be lesbians, you'll be fine," Rufus mumbled.

"We have to call off the wedding, dude!" Bill said.

"Not necessarily, my friends," Rufus said. "You see, you can't legally get married now, but I'm from the future. I think I could officiate a gay wedding, I have a future license. You don't have to be legally married now, but we could have a ceremony in preparation for when you do actually get married."

"You would really do that for us?" Ted asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Of course I would."

Ted looked at Bill. "Are we taking things too fast?"

Bill shook his head. "We've been in love for several years without knowing, dude. I think it's time."

And so they went back inside, and explained the situation, getting several gasps and murmurs from the audience. The princesses were upset at first, but when Ted suggested that they were lesbians struggling with a most unfortunate case of compulsory heterosexuality, they realized that this wedding wasn't right after all. In the end, it was Bill and Ted who were up at the alter, with the princesses as their bridesmaids.

"Bill S. Preston Esquire, do you take Ted to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" Rufus asked.

"I do," Bill said with a grin.

"And Ted-"

"I do!" Ted interrupted.

"You may now kiss the groom."

Bill and Ted were hesitant at first, but they leaned in and locked lips. A feeling of excitement and anxiety tingled through their bodies. They were both actually pretty good kissers.

Then, the cake started, and it was really a party now. People either excitedly or awkwardly congratulated them. Captain Logan didn't seem very happy about it, but Deacon gave Ted a look of silent approval. Bill and Ted didn't care what people thought now, though; this was their thing to figure out.

When the wedding was over, Bill and Ted went outside with their future selves and daughters.

"I didn't think that was going to work," Future Ted said. "Thanks, dudes."

"No problem!" Bill replied. "This was a most excellent wedding."

"Excellent!" Future Bill and Ted said.

All of the Bills and Teds air-guitared, leaving their daughters laughing in what was either amusement or embarrassment.

"We'll see you dudes in a few years! In 2015, make sure you have an official wedding!" Future Bill said, getting into the booth. Future Ted followed him. The daughters didn't leave quite yet, though.

"I can't believe you guys are our dads," the blonde one said. "Sorry, we never introduced ourselves. I'm Thea, and that's Billie."

"Can I ask you two something?" Bill asked.

"Sure."

"How are you guys girls? I mean, we have sons now, do we have more kids?"

Both of them laughed and shook their heads.

"Two words- transgender," Billie confidently said.

"That's one word," Thea corrected her.

"One word."

"Oh. Excellent!" Ted said.

"Should we start raising you two as girls or something...?" Bill asked.

"No, just let us come out at the right time," Billie said. "For now, just worry about getting your relationship on track, okay?"

Bill and Ted nodded.

"We have to go now. Thanks for letting us see your wedding," Thea said, and without another word, she and her sister walked to the phone booth and got in. The phone booth quickly left.

Bill looked up at Ted. "Did we make the right choice?"

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that we did."

And then they kissed, realizing that everything was going to be okay.