Chapter Text
When Keith was five years his biological dad tried to teach him to ride a bike, Keith had been anxious and couldn't stop shaking, even with his dad hovering the whole time behind him ready to catch him when he fell, if he fell. His dad held such a look of pride and love,Keith couldn’t bring himself to face the reality he was scared. Keith learned how to ride a bike when he was five.
Keith supposed therapy was like learning to ride a bike. You start out wobbly, weak and scared. Unsure if it’s worth it, or even something you can manage. But you’re not alone. There’s someone to catch you when you feel you may fall, if you fall. And someday you’ll learn, and maybe move up a notch, move from beginner to intermediate to pro and be at your happiest point.
Standing outside of the Atlas building, Keith can’t help but feel nervous. If he backs out now it’s not too late, write a quick apology over email and continue life as if he has always been happy and never even needed help. Fake it till he makes it. Though that won't get him anywhere, he’ll just be lying to himself and everyone else for that matter. So he walks through the electric doors and prays for the best.
The second he steps in his senses are overstimulated. Everything is breaking the stereotypes of support group buildings he’s read online. It is so warm, Keith suddenly feels the need to abandon his winter jacket. It smells like cinnamon, coffee and vanilla and every damn sweet thing he can think of and he doesn’t understand how. It manages to break the final stereotype with the sense of sight. It’s not bare like he’d expected. There’s plants - REAL plants - Halloween decorations and it is so bright, so lively. It’s such a homely place it almost manages to beat Coran’s overly giddy home. He had been almost hoping for a shitty inside to make him have an excuse to leave, but now there’s no possible excuse unless he wants to face his bullshittery.
Keith swallows, hovering for only a few more seconds before striding his way to the front desk, where a girl who looked like she was possibly in college herself sat. She had long blonde hair and vitiligo (dark skin with splashes of lighter skin), Keith wondered how that could even be possible. Her eyes were baby blue and large, plump perfect lips situated under a button nose. If keith wasn’t gay this is exactly the kinda girl he’d swoon over, but alas, he is very gay.
This girl - Nyma, or so says the table place holder - is hyper focused on the computer, typing away as if her life depended on it. Keith, not wanting to break her hyper focus stood awkwardly for only a moment before clearing his throat, her eyes snapping up while she jumped in her chair.
“You scared me!” She laughs - it’s a nice laugh, keith notices - “Sorry I’m working on a paper for school. Got into the zone!” Her voice is sweet, but not sickly or bittersweet. More like honey than sugar. “Uh - You, Correct me if I’m wrong, here for the appointment with Shiro, er, Mr Shirogane? You’re Keith?” She’s also not very formal, or professional. Keith doesn't mind though, he hates when people call him Sir or Mr Kogane.
“That’s me. How - uh, How’d-”
“How’d I know?” Nyma smiles and Keith nods, “You’re our only appointment today.” Keith nods in return and Nyma glances down at a post-it. “Your appointment is on the second floor.” She hums, handing him a guest card, “This will let you get there, the floor is closed without it, give it back on your way out. Shiro’s office is at the end of the right hall. It’s hard to miss the giant painting of a black lion on his door, and if you’re still unsure his name is on it too.” Nyma smiles, “Good luck and I hope you find what you’re looking for!”
Keith smiles in return, as friendly as he can manage before moving to the elevator. Nyma keeps an eye on him and doesn’t return to her work until Keith is in the elevator, Keith considers it polite. He scans the card and pressed the ‘2’ button.
The ride was only a solid five seconds but keith still managed to second guess his decision to be there around thirty times. Every good thought overtaken by anxiety. Luckily, the ding of the elevator snapped keith out of his distant, distraught state, bringing him back to reality. He stepped out, glad to know the comfortability of the building carried to the second floor and wasn’t just a lobby property.
There were three main hallways, one going straight forward that led to from what keith could see was an open area, one going left that had a turn right, and one going right that led to a white door with, you guessed it, a black lion painted on it.
Keith raised a shaky fist, knocking on the door carefully, “Uh- Mr Shirogane… It’s me, Keith… I’m here for my-”
The door opens and he’s faced with a smiling hunk of a man. He’s tall, has broad shoulders and a slim waist. Short cut white hair that somehow didn’t make him look old, a strong set jaw, piercing black eyes that were so friendly and the crème de la crème, a scar across his nose. It was hard not to see how people would find him attractive, and keith would too if he didn't remind him so much of his dad.
“Keith Kogane?” Mr. Shirogane smiled wide and friendly when Keith nodded, “Im Takashi Shirogane, you can call me Shiro.” He stuck out his hand and Keith shakes it sternly, this place isn’t very formal, Keith has come to notice. He guesses that’s why the website said not traditional.
“It’s nice to officially meet you, in, uh, person i guess.” Keith somehow manages to only stumble on his words and Shiro chuckles,
“Come on,” he gestures into his office, “Lets chat.”
~*~
“So which of our groups have you been interested in, Keith?” Shiro rests his elbows on his desk, cup of coffee held between his hands.
Keith fiddles with the sleeves of his shirt, picking nervously at the stitches. “I guess just your mixed programme… I feel like going into something specific will make me feel like my problems aren’t even that bad compaired to others, and things would be neglected because the programme is specified..”
“That’s what I was going to suggest.” Shiro hummed thoughtfully, “Coran told me quite a lot about you, actually. I don’t know if you know this but his niece works here part time, so I’ve actually spoken to him quite a bit, even before he emailed me about you. Coran only ever told me guidelines about you,so dont worry, he didn’t go into detail about your personal things.” Shiro leans back, crossing his arms, “We’ve dealt with many things here, Keith. We’ve had people in your situation too and I can promise that it will at least be somewhat beneficial for you to take part. You and Coran both told me youre closed off, and this is a great way to open up and make friends. We have lovely people who struggle too here, people who will understand. I can’t force you, this is your decision, but I will give my two cents.”
Keith cracked his knuckles, trying to relax, he could feel annxiety pooling in his stomach, like he was going to throw up. This shouldn’t be hard, but it is. Shiro seems to take notice because is soft-dad-smile returns;
“Keith, you have no reason to be anxious, it’s just us here, alright? Take your time, think. If you need you can email me your answer. You do what’s best for you. That’s such an important thing, Keith.”
“I wanna try.” Keith makes his voice as small and quiet as possible, thinking maybe if shiro doesn’t hear it he can take it as a sign to not go through with it, but when he sees Shiro’s wide smile, he knows he’s here to stay, at least for a while.
“Then let’s discuss the programme.”
~*~
When keith left the building he couldn’t help the smile on his face, in fact, it stayed there the whole way home, like it belonged there. Keith liked being happy, he liked laughing and feeling giddy, he liked being relieved and feeling free. He just didn’t get the luxury of that often, but after his talk with Shiro and agreeing he’d be there Friday at 7pm, he felt this wait lifted off his shoulders. This was his chance to finally get things off his chest, to learn to open up, how to tell people things. This was his chance to learn how to live in the real world. He might regret his decision later, but for now, he’ll bask in the glory that he’s getting somewhere.
When Keith got home Coran wasted no time in asking him how it went. Keith liked that about Coran, his straightforwardness. He also liked that Coran was stubborn, it often went head to head with his own stubbornness but Coran would usually win. Keith knew he needed stubborn people in his life, they were the only ones who would… Well, be stubborn enough to keep trying to be in his life.
“It was nice.” Keith admits, a shadow of a smile on his face, “Shiro was really kind and the atmosphere there was really… Homey. But speaking of Atlas, you never told me Allura worked there.” Keith had the luxury of meeting Corans niece, Allura, once. She was another stubborn person, Keith thought it must be a family thing. Allura was a smart girl who went to school for psychology as far as Keith knew, it actually made sense she was there part time.
“Ah, shucks. I thought you knew? She started a few weeks ago, it was a big thing for her! I’ll be honest, though, I didn't think it was important.”
“It isn’t, if anything it’s reassuring,” Keith heaves a laugh and Coran smiles. It reminds him of when his father taught him how to ride a bike. That fatherly love and pride, it warmed Keith’s heart.
“I’m glad you went through with it, Keith. I think this will be good for you.”
Keith smiles, and it’s so genuine even Coran is surprised, “Me too.”