Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Badflower - The Jester
Halestorm - Conflicted

Matteo never could have imagined that he would be the one playing in a band. Jonas maybe - he was secure about himself, someone born for a stage. But Matteo?

He had gotten into music together with Jonas. They went to concerts together and Jonas teached him how to play the guitar. First just a few chords, later more complex things. Even if most of the time he enjoyed just laying around listening to Jonas singing voice the teaching was a nice addition. Especially the Touching part of it, so he startet playing more and more. It was relaxing, calmed his nerves. Later he bought his own, not an acoustic guitar but an electronic one, he didn't want to make too much noise in his room - wanted the music to himself. In the beginning he still often thought of Jonas but over the time the music startet to become his own.
He had spent nights and days watching YouTube tutorials, trying new stuff and soon he got really good. Not that anyone but Jonas knew.

It really helped him through the stuff with his parents - whenever they got too loud he just would put his headphones over his head and plug the guitar in.

When Matteo moved to the flatshare he started playing less but at night when he couldn't sleep and everything got too dark and too silent he would get his guitar out from behind the closet and play.

Until one night, two of Hans' friends were over, some kind of game night, and Hans had dragged Matteo out of his room (Matteo believed that he still tried to set him up with one of his friends even though that never seemed to have any result)

They had talked about a lot of different stuff but when music came up Hans instantly told them about Matteos guitar. They got excited, Matteo had tried to sink even further into his chair. Still he got up to get the guitar when they asked him to. He just played a very short part, confused about how good it felt to show off his skills.

Later one of them, his name was Andi, had told him about his plans to start a Band. He was a drummer and knew that Linn was capable of playing an electric bass - just missing a guitar and a singer for a Rock Band. And even though his first impulse was to say no - he somehow wanted to try this - it was something new. He suggested Sara as a singer and she actually said yes. Her angelic soft voice matched the more rock-like style of the band suprisingly well, giving it a more melodic touch.

The first time they all met was still a bit awkward, but as soon as they startet playing everything seemed to fall into place. In the beginning they were just covering some songs they all liked, after a few meetings covering became jamming and jamming became writing songs together. They startet recording a few songs, playing in pubs and restaurants around town, sometimes just street corners. Songs became a studioalbum and they startet a real tour, still in really small establishments. Leonie had gotten Saras girlfriend (They joked about beeing a non-straight rock band) and stood in the first row in every of their concerts. Sometimes Sara would come to the front to kiss her, what seemed to make the audience go cracy.

The gigs got bigger and better over time - so Matteo naturally took some time off after school endet. One of their songs even made it to a few rock radiostations. Sara startet studying theatre, so she couldn't be there all the time anymore and Matteo got up the courage to sing for her (the band had found out that he used to sing in church choir). Later they startet giving him a couple of songs even in their regular show, the heavier songs seemed to fit his voice better than Saras.

Matteo still got nervous very often but them all beeing next to him calmed him, they had gotten really good friends over time. (Jonas was more jealous about that than about the fact that Matteo had startet a band without him)

Still none of them had expected such a big festival to ask them to play there. The Day they got that Phone call they were all jumping around in the flatshare kitchen.

David loved festivals. He didn't seem like a festival type of guy, but he genuinely loved music. He loved to listen to it alone in his room with headphones, the melodies sweeping through his brain, but even more he loved standing in front of a stage, surrounded by people exited for it, he loved to jump and sing along the texts, just feel the music in his bones.

The dirty camping and the tons of drunk people were a price he was willing to pay for the chance to hear that many artists and bands and the special atmosphere that surroundet festivals.

Luckily Laura had fallen for them too and agreed to go with him when he announced he wantet to visit that big rock festival in June.
Since then he was working on listening to every single act playing this year. Weeks in prior he had made a detailed list on when they had to see which concert and listened to his playlist of the festival nonstop.

While searching trough the artists he had stumbled upon a little band with really good music - a female voice was rare in the rock industry, it had something really melodic, almost sad sometimes. When reading the description he got even more interested - a Lgbtq rock band. And if possible the band even got better when he looked at the small picture above the description and spottet the guitarist. A young looking boy with blonde hair all over the place and very clear blue eyes. He looked mysterious, but in a warm kind of way. Intriguing. He had put a circle around that band on his list.

Samstag 12:17

The concert is the first of the day - the bigger acts playing later in the afternoon. Just a few people are already in front of the stage when David and Laura arrive, most still sleeping in their tents or trying to come back to life with breakfast and beer.

They manage to get to the very first row right in front of the balustrade, next to a small pretty girl with a lesbian pride flag paintet to her cheek. Laura instantly starts talking to her, bonding over both of them beeing lesbians.

David only listens with half an ear, watching the people sitting tired on the ground in the heat of the sun. "I'm Leonie by the way" she shakes both of their Hands. "David" he just mumbles. She seems nice, smiles a lot and when he asks her where she nows the band from she just grins and tells them she already had been to many of their concerts.

Slowly the area right in front of the stage fills up, still enough space for everyone to move to the music. Still, when the first few chords blast through the speakers the concert area is quite empty. Davids eyes are glued to the stage as the band walks on stage and the guitarist with the pretty blue eyes appears.

He is always nervous, right before the concert. They can hear voices outside and even the backstage area is huge. His stomach rumbles around. He focuses on breathing. In and out. In and out. Sara quietly takes his hand.

A guy walks in the backstage area, checking his watch. "Were done setting up, you guys can start" They nod and eyes find each other, its not the first time they are doing this. Matteo breathes in and out for the last time as Sara starts counting with her fingers in the air, on zero his fingers seem to find the chords themselves, the crowd starts to cheer loudly as they walk on the stage.

Sara waves - Matteo just grins and tries to not look up that much.
Usually he just pins his eyes on Leonie - the familiar face always there but as he looks her way this time something else catches his eyes.

Right next to her is a guy, dark hair - huge brown eyes. He can even see his septum ring, sparkling in the sun. He almost forgets to keep playing.

Sara really rocks the stage, the crowd is relatively small for a festival but it seems like everyone who is there really is there for them. They cheer, and reach for Sara and there even is a mini-moshpit in the middle of the crowd were about 4 dudes push each other around. When the time for his first song comes he looks at the beautiful boy in the first row again, causing his stomach to turn. But as soon as he sings the first words the nervousness seems to disappear miraculously. He just drowns in brown eyes - not afraid to stare as he probably will never see him again.

Blue. Way too blue. The eyes seem to stare directly into his soul. David just has to stare back. And his voice - its beautiful, darker and less clear than Saras but just perfect.

But why are the eyes of a band member - of the guy singing on a huge stage on him? That seems to make no sense at all.

David gets his answer two songs later, the blonde girl is singing again - jumping from the stage and walking on the grass patch right in front of the balustrade, making the fans go crazy and reaching their hands in front. She seems to walk directly towards David when she grabs the girl right next to him. Leonie grinning in their kiss. Laura looks at least as shocked as he feels. "Told you i got a girlfriend" Leonie just states as soon as the singer is back on the stage.

Out of all the people they could have met they had befriended the girlfriend of the leadsinger - it seems surreal to David.

Well it at least explains the heart-eyes of Leonie every time she looks at the stage. And it explains why the handsome guitarist had looked Davids - no Leonies way. He almost felt disappointed. But why? As if he would have a chance to meet the Boy anyway.

The concert goes by way too quickly, David Leonie and Laura jumping and singing along to almost every Song, their Hands in the air.

The boy sings one more song, this time looking somewhere else. David leaves his eyes on him for the rest of the concert. His hair is in a sharp undercut, different from the picture David had seen - but it still radiates the same chaotic energy. His eyes are glued to the ground most of the time - only looking up when he seemes to be lost in the music, a sudden storm of blue. He is beautiful.

Afterwards, people already heading out of the area on the way to their next concert, Leonie grins at them "Hey, wanna come along to the backstage area? I want to pick up Sara and i think they would like meeting you two." David doesn't believe his ears.

Of course they agree, Laura whispering in his ear while the security guard openes the balustrade for them "The bassist was really hot". Yeah not just the Bassist he thinks, remembering the blue eyes looking right his way.

The band is busy packing away the instruments when Leonie appears, just as she usually does after a concert. Matteo doesn't even look up.

But this time something is different - instead of just clinging to Sara she pulls away. "Hey guys this is Laura and David - I met them at the concert" she points out to two wide eyed figures standing behind her. A tall girl with long dark curls and - Matteo stops in his movement when he sees the boy again, up this close he is even more beautiful, a shy smile spreading on his lips. "Hi" he mumbles, everyone starts greeting them but Matteo is just able to stare.

Andi, enthusiastic as usual, walks up to them to wrap them in a big hug. "It's really nice meeting you, how did you like the concert?" He just really hopes Andi doesn't try to flirt with the guy. David. The name fits him, it sounds beautiful in Matteos head.

David. David. Bouncing against the sides of his skull and back to the other side. "Matteo everything alright?" Linn appears at his side. He must have been staring "yeah" he quickly replies, forcing his eyes to Linn. The girl next to David, Laura, talks about how much they enjoyed the music. Matteo finishes packing his guitar as he quietly listenes to them talking.

"Do any of you play an instrument?" Andi asks at the moment. "I can play cello" Its the first sentence David says and Matteo has to look up again.

"Wow - that is sooo cool!" Andis eyes get huge "And it would totally fit our style!" He sends a meaningful look to Sara. "Yeah totally, would you mind playing with us once? I'd really like to try that!" she slides in "What do you guys think?" the last part is directed to Matteo and Linn, both still standing silently at the side. "I'd like that" Linn simply states and Matteo nods "Yeah, could be great". His voice luckily doesn't show how nervous he is - his head lightly spinning.

David smiles - his first real smile Matteo notices - and it messes Matteos head up even more. This smile is for sure the most perfect thing Matteo has ever seen. Its almost unreal. "Of course I'd play with you if you want that" He tilts his head slightly to the side. Matteo cant help but smile along.

They exchange numbers but as the next band is playing soon they have to leave the area, making their way to their 'tour bus' Well, more like 'tour minivan' but they still proudly call the old rusty car that way. Its actually bought of money just made by music, a dream unreachable just a few months ago.

They all hug David and Laura goodbye and Matteo hopes David can't hear his heartbeat as they hug - he seems to fit way too perfectly into his arms, just wanting to stay there forever. But of course the hug ends and they have to walk in a different direction, his mind still on the beautiful smile on his way to the tourbus.

Chapter Text

Atreyu - The time is now

Grandson - Overdose

The rest of the festival went by really quick, although David had to think back to the blonde boy a couple of times - David still didn't know his name, everything happened so quickly. He remembered his blue eyes staring at him, David really hoped that this was not because he didn't want him there. But his words did sound welcoming. His voice when he's talking so different to when he's singing. 

Back at home he googled the band more thoroughly, sitting on his bed. They didn't have much personal information but he found a link to an official Instagram account. There were a couple of pictures of them playing at concerts and one of them sitting all together in a living room, with another guy and a girl, Leonie also present. The picture was captioned "flatshare love" He tapped on it to see who was tagged on the picture and - bingo - some text appeared over the boy. "matteohno" it read. He followed the link to get to a page full of memes. "Matteo Florenzi". Matteo - seems like he had found the mysterious boys name. The last name confused him, it sounded italian. Maybe italian roots? 

Most of the pictures of the boys, of Matteos face, were grimaces but there was one shot at a party, seemingly taken by a professional photographer and it looked stunning. David found himself staring at that picture for a awkwardly long time. 

Laura started teasing him about the guy, she had noticed them staring at each other backstage - but it didn't really start until David unintentionally gave it away by knowing too much. She had talked about the blue haired bassist again when he had interrupted her. "Linn" he said, his mind somewhere else "what?" "Thats her name - the bassist I mean, the one you are crushing on". He had to show her the Instagram stories he had found about her and her thanking him seemed to consist of constant teasing. 

Mittwoch 15:36

"Matteo! Wake up we're right there!" Carlos hand appeares in front of his smartphone, waving rapidly in a try to capture Matteos attention. "Sorry, just band stuff" he replies. That was at least not a complete lie. Lately Matteo had less and less time to chill with the boys, the whole band project seemed to be pretty time-consuming, and even when he was with them, he still wasn't quite there - his mind in the band groupchat. 

Still, this time the excuse is not totally honest - what happens in the groupchat has nothing to do with the music, instead there is a discussion about the potential new member. Matteo pretends to listen to his friends, comments a few times before looking back at the groupchat. 

Andi 15:35: Hey, do you guys think David is single?

Sara 15:35: Don't you dare - have you seen how he and Matteo looked at each other?

Matteo 15:36: Not true!

Linn 15:36 You were totally staring at him

Andi 15:36: Sorry, if thats the case, finding a boyfriend for Matteo of course comes first! 

- It's about time you show interest in someone

Sara 15:37: Yeah you've been alone for way too long, can't see those sad puppy eyes anymore

Andi 15:37: So you guys are in at project "Davenzi"? :D

Linn 15:38: I'm in

Sara 15:38: Totally

Matteo 15:41: We haven't even talked a word, and we don't know anything about him, how do you think this is a good idea? 

Andi 15:41: Believe me it is

Sara 15:42: Leonie likes him

Matteo 15:42: Also what about his girlfriend? 

Sara 15:42: Pretty sure Leonie told me that Laura doesn't even like guys, she is probably his sister or something like that

Sara 15:43 I wanted to text him anyway, about the cello thing. Next Friday? 

Andi 15:43 great ;) 

Linn 15:43 I'm free on Friday 

'Friday is okay' he quickly types before getting back to the three boys sitting in the flatshare living room. 

"You really think Sam would like that?" Abdi looks helpless "What do you think Matteo?" shit, he has no idea what dumb idea the boys are discussing this time. If the idea is not better than the last three Abdi will get the same response as always. "Don't know" Matteo just mumbles. "Did you even listen to me?" Abdi sighs "Doesn't matter, I don't think I've got a chance anyway" His eyes are on the ground now, Carlos just laughs but Jonas hits him on the back of his head "Hey we don't know that for sure - you both are still texting at least, that has to mean something! We just have to find a way to show her that you like her!" Abdis eyes leave the ground as they start discussing new ideas again. Matteo just sighs while he let his thoughts drift away to warm brown eyes and a smile brighter that the sun. 

Freitag 13:02

David is nervous. He shouldn't be, the band members seemed really chill when he met them last week, but he can't get that feeling out of his stomach. Usually he is really secure about his cello-skills, he even played a solo when his orchestra had a concert last winter. He pushes away the thought that his nervousness may have something to do with the blonde boy he was going to see again and just walks through the door into the dark room. 

"Heey David!" Sara throws her arms around him "Leonie isn't there for the band practice but she asked if we all wanted to get ice-cream with her afterwards!" she smiles bright "Aand she asked if Laura wanted to come too" He nodds quickly "Sounds like a plan". One after one the other band members come up to David too, they have their instruments on some sort of mini-stage and must have just been unpacking when he entered the room. 

His eyes stop on Matteo, who is - it almost seems like a habit by now- staring right into his eyes, almost as if he could see what's inside him. "Na - hey, ehm, nice to see you!" Matteo finishes his stuttering with a cute little half-smile - looking almost proud of himself. "Hi, nice to see you too" David grins, making the other boy widen his smile. 

They get pulled out of their own little world when Andi and Linn greet him, Andi with a big hug, Linn just with a small smile. He really can imagine her getting along with Laura - even through she barely said anything yet, there is something calm about her. 

David gets his cello over to the stage, next to the other instruments and starts unpacking. 

While preparing his bow he tries to get the dynamic of the group, who is still discussing a few things about the practice. It's easy to see that Sara and Andi are the louder ones while Matteo and Linn only say something if they have to, but it still feels balanced. Everyone listening to the others. They seem to know each other pretty well, understanding even small gestures. 

As soon as David is all set up they get to the stage too - all picking up their instruments. "So basically we are just jamming, playing melodies we had in mind for longer and try to add to them, what do you think, would you feel comfortable with that?" Sara looks down to where he found a place to sit, cello between his legs. "Sounds good, just start. I will see how I fit in" He nods. Sara smiles and raises her hands to count with her fingers. Thats rather unusual, but seems to be something she does more often. As soon as there are no more fingers in the air they start playing. First it's just drums and bass, soon Matteo joins with his guitar and later Sara starts singing, it seems like she picks up the melody and turns it into something thats her own. 

David listens for a while, the concept still foreign to him until he finds a spot where he fits in. Playing long slow notes, resembling the bass but getting faster as he finds his way in. His bow sliding over the strings automatically, just going with the music. 

Then the guitar seems to change, playing minor chords and setting the mood to something more melancholic. The drums get slower, less energetic. David joins the new vibe, playing long bows again. Almost surprisingly a second voice joins Saras, deeper and full of sadness. Matteo takes a step to the front, to the second microphone. David is impressed of how well these two so different voices go together, and even more impressed of how the quiet boy can take the lead of the group so naturally.

Even if they wouldn't want to play together with him again, David thinks, just beeing here with them, making music together, was worth it.

The practice is over way faster than he expected. The time had just rushed by and soon they had played for two hours straight. After the successful jamming they even tried to play a few of the bands older songs together - the cello fitting in great. "Time for ice-cream!" Sara exclaimed and David quickly checked his smartphone to see if Laura had answered his text from earlier

David 13:05: Hey Laura, want to join for ice-cream later? Your chance to talk to Linn

Laura 13:35: Haha

Laura 13:35: Yeah i will be there, just text me 

David 15:12: We are done now, can you come? 

Laura 15:13: On my way

Freitag 15:32

Matteo feels courageous today, not only had he taken the lead in todays band practice, he also had talked to David. A sentence at least. And even more important, he is about to do it again.

He walks a tiny bit faster, just enough to get next to the boy in front of him. 

"Hey - ehm - I think I forgot to introduce myself. Today I mean. I'm Matteo" That wasn't too bad, he knows he sucks at talking to boys he actually wants to impress so he is proud of even getting that sentence out. "Matteo - hi" The way David pronounces his name makes his stomach flutter. And his smile really doesn't help at all. 

"You have an eyelash there" David gestures to his cheek. Matteo just plugs it away, holding it between his fingers. "Can I wish for something now?" He looks into those brown eyes again. "I don't know" David seems to think about it. Matteo makes his wish anyway, blowing the eyelash in the wind. "What did you wish for?" David asks "If I tell you it won't come true." He for sure wouldn't tell him what he just wished for. David just nods as they quietly walk next to each other. 

"I think you should sing in more songs" Davids voice interrupts the comfortable silence that had settled between them "I really like your voice" Matteo is sure his eyes get huge "really?" He hasn't heard that often, most people just talk about Saras beautiful voice but he usually gets no recognition. "Yeah, you've got talent." There the brighter-than-the-sun-smile is again. "Thank you" Matteos voice is so quiet he hopes David can hear him at all. 

"What do you do? In life I mean" David raises an eyebrow "I make movies. Well, not yet, I'm studying in a film academy" Matteo nods as if he could comprehend what that means "Wow". David laughes, a sound Matteo could never get enough of. "So if you need a music video you can always ask me" Matteo wishes he could see the videos the other boy makes "You really have to show me" 

Before David can answer they have reached the ice-cream parlor. Matteo looks around, Linn and Laura had walked together in quiet conversation and are now comparing ice-cream flavours together. Andi, Sara and Leonie are joking loudly, probably still on a high after the successful band practice. 

Later they all are sitting in a big circle in the grass of a small park, enjoying the sun on their skin. "That really was great, you should join us more often" Sara was just telling David, her eyes still sparkling. "I'd love to" David had that smile on his lips again and Matteo doesn't care that he has to obviously turn his head to David who sits next to him only to see that smile.

"There is just one thing" Andi starts and Matteo instantly panics "Well we are a non-straight Band, so you have to be lgbtq to be a member!" Oh no, he can feel Andi grinning at him. He knew that their "Davenzi" would come back at him in a bad way. He can feel David next to him straighten "Well I'm the 'T', so I think I would fit in quite well" His voice small. "Oh... Sorry, I only meant that as a joke but cool I guess, thanks for telling." Matteo feels a bit disappointed, not because David is trans but because that probably means he doesn't like guys. Or at least he didn't tell them. But now, even though he hated that Andi had to ask so bluntly, he really wants to know if there is any chance David could like him back. 

Sara and Linn both thank him too for telling and somehow that whole thing ends up in a big group hug, Matteo is pulled in by Linn even though he tries to stay out of it. 

Soon after they finished their ice-creams, they're all heading home. Laura and David leaving in a different direction than the others. 

Later at home he notices Sara created a new groupchat. 

Band 2.0

Sara added David

Sara 18:52: Welcome to the band David :D

Linn 18:54: Welcome 

Andi 18:54: its gonna be liiit

Matteo 18:55: It's really cool that you are in this now

David 18:57: Thanks guys, really looking forward to playing with you again soon

Andi 18:57: and sorry again for earlier if i was too straightforward

David 18:58: It's okay

Matteo 18:59: Andi I'm pretty sure nothing about you is straight

Andi 18:59: thanks i guess

Sara 19:00 :D

Just as he puts the phone away it buzzes again, a private message of the number he had just added as 'David' 

David 19:01 If you really want to see my projects you could come by sometime :) 

Chapter Text

Papa Roach - Elevate

Godsmack - Bulletproof

Samstag 15:06

David usually didn't like outing himself. He avoided it as soon as he changed school and barely did it ever since.
It got better in the film academy, part of their learning process was to open up, so David had told his closest friends there.

But the fact that he was so quick in telling yesterday still confuses him.
He could have just told them that he was pan, that would have been enough to qualify him for what they needed but somehow he had felt like being fully honest with the band.

And if that something between Matteo and him would ever get stronger he would have to tell him anyway, better sooner than later. It didn't seem to scare the boy away so far, he had replied to his message yesterday and they had started texting.

David 19:01: If you really want to see my projects you could come by sometime :)

Matteo 19:02: Sounds cool :)

Matteo 19:15: So, when are you free?

David 19:18: On the weekend is good, I have lectures during the week

Matteo 19:18: I should be free. What are your lectures about?

Matteo 19:19: Maybe Saturday?

David had spent the entire evening explaining him in text form what his studies were about and what he did as a film student. Matteo seemed impressed.

He had stayed up way longer than usual because of this, but this morning when he woke up there already had been a new message of Matteo

Matteo 10:34: Hey David, good morning

Matteo 10:34: Pretty sure I dreamt something about making videos

David 10:58: Good morning, sounds fun

Matteo 10:58: Yeah, really looking forward to actually see that stuff today

David 10:59: When will you be there?

Matteo 10:59: Around 15:00? Can you give me your address?

Now he is standing in front of the mirror, trying to get his broccoli hair in some sort of shape. He even thought about putting on a beanie to hide it but it is way too hot for that to be a good idea. And Matteo usually has his hair all over the place  so he shouldn't mind.

The doorbell pulls him out of his thoughts and he hurries to buzz Matteo in.

"Hey" Matteo looks a bit lost, standing in the doorframe and David isn't sure if hugging him is a good idea, so he just smiles and makes his signature headtilt. "Hi Matteo" He takes a step to the side to let Matteo in.

It's a bit awkward at first, Matteo tends to just stare at him with those incredible blue eyes and do nothing at all, but as David leads him into his room to show him the Video he did for the last project the ice breaks a little.

Matteo walks along the walls and looks at his drawings with wide eyes "Wow - i didn't know you could draw!" He asks some questions and tells him he likes "The photograph with your drawing on top" David just smiles "It's called a collage".  Matteo grins. "I really like your art. You have talent." He mirrors Davids own words from the day before. "Thank you" Now it's Davids turn to get shy.

Later they sit in front of Davids laptop. He had to show Matteo not only his last project, but all the videos he made since he started studying film.

Matteo loved them, and David loved that Matteo loved them. Especially one of the videos had captured Matteos attention, David was sure he had watched it at least ten times by now.

"It's amazing" Matteo exclaimes. David tilts his head "It's just a video". It actually was more than just a video - it showed parts of his story. Not enough that anyone would know it's about David and not enough to reveal his secret but it was about the feeling of beeing different - of trying to belong even through it meant loosing parts of the own identity.

"It reminds me of myself. Did you know I even tried dating Sara before I finally came out, first to myself and then to my friends?" Matteo speaks quiet, calm, but what he tells David must be important to him - he doesn't seem like someone who opens up easily.

"How should I know?" He asks, but keeps smiling in the hope to keep Matteo talking. "She's bi so I think she had real hopes but i should have known. I just tried to belong, to get invisible. Especially because my friends only talked about girls during that time - well they still do somehow." he chuckles "But I felt miserable, smoked a lot of weed, felt empty. It got so terrible that my drug dealer had to tell me to go talk to my friends and so I finally did. I broke up with Sara and told my friends and I felt a lot better. It reminded me that I don't have to be someone else to belong, I can be me." After he finished his sentence he looks at David, and David can see the moment Matteo realises how much he told him. "I-I'm sorry. Didn't want to make a speech or something." David shakes his head. "No, you are right. Wish I knew your story earlier, it would have helped me. I had a really hard time at school, they bullied me just because I'm trans so I changed schools and closed off, told no one. I felt really alone in that time and I think I'm still learning to let people in." He is pretty sure he hasn't told anyone but Laura about all of this but Matteo just looks at him like he understands. "Why did you tell us?" He asks with curious eyes. "I don't know."

They make themselves sandwiches, David takes it very seriously but Matteo picks random things from the fridge and throws it on the toasts. "Marshmallows? Seriously?" He tries to sound scolding but he has to give up and laugh with Matteo. They giggle the whole time while the sandwiches are in the sandwichmaker and David allows himself to look into Matteos eyes again. But not only his eyes are beautiful - also his red lips and his a little too large nose and his soft cheeks and David thinks he's just perfect. He doesn't turn his look away until the sandwiches are done and they sit down at the table.

The first bite doesn't taste poisonous so far and Matteo grins the whole time while eating. It is silent, David getting lost in his thoughts until Matteo begins to speak again, more like a loud thought than anything else. "What if we would have met back then. In school I mean. Do you think we would have helped each other?" David shrugs "We'll never know"

After they finish Laura comes home and Matteo suddenly seems to be in a hurry, he gives David half a smile as a goodbye. "Bye David, hope to see you soon." And then he's gone, leaving David standing in the doorframe, still thinking about how different, how special his name had sounded when Matteo said it.

Sonntag 16:26

Matteo spent the last 24 hours thinking about David nonstop. About his beautiful laugh and about what he told him. Matteo had felt understood in a way he never had been before. Like David would just get him, as a whole.

He really would like to talk to someone about it, about the strange new feeling he has in his stomach, about what happened. But who should he talk to? He decides he doesn't want to talk to any of the band members, they would only make fun of him. And also they have to interact with David in the future and he really doesn't want them to mess this up. He decides to send a message to Jonas.

Matteo 16:28: Hey Jonas, are you free at the moment?

Jonas 16:28: Heeey Luigi, wazzup?

Matteo 16:29: I want to talk about something, can I call you?

Jonas 16:29: of course!

Jonas picks up after the third ring, he sounds like he is chewing on something "Hey Luigi, it's really nice to hear from you, man! What do you want to talk about?"

Matteo breathes slowly. "I met someone" he can barely hear his own voice. "I think I like him. And i wanted to talk to someone about it." He can hear Jonas chuckling trough the phone "Thats great Luigi! You really deserve to find someone!"
"It's not like that. I mean I don't know if he is interested. But we chilled yesterday and it was beautiful so I had to talk about it."

Matteo still isn't sure if this is a good idea but he tells himself that he had promised Jonas to tell him more about his life, about what happenes to him. "Still" Jonas starts again "You really deserve someone great, this sounds promising. Tell me about it!"

Matteo makes him promise to not tell anyone - especially not Carlos and Abdi - before he tells Jonas how he met David. He tells him about the concert and the ice-cream, the texts, the videos and their sandwiches until he gets to the point where he left yesterday.  "And then Laura came home, the girl he was at the concert with, and I remembered that I didn't even know if she is his girlfriend! I remembered that I have to be careful, that falling for someone so quickly can't be a good idea and I think I got scared so I just left." He ends his story, feeling like he has almost never talked that much at once.

"What do you mean Luigi, you just left? Do I have to come over to get some sense into you?" Jonas sounds like he really is mad, even though Matteo knows he is just joking. "Maybe" he anwers quietly.

"We will sort all of this out, I promise" Jonas voice sound almost celebrating.

After the call he stays on his bed, stares into the void and thinks about Jonas words. He deserves this. Maybe he should just try, worry less and see what happens. He really hopes something will happen.

Chapter Text

Badflower - Heroin

Nothing but thieves - Ban all the music

Freitag 20:54

It's not even dark outside yet but the party lights are already on, Hans had set up the entire flatshare with tons of baloons, drinks and lights. Matteo usually didn't like partys that much, most of the time he had to avoid people getting too close to him. But this time he is even a bit excited. Not too much but still, it is the first party David is invited to.

The band had met once again over the week to practice and again the cello just found its spot, fitting in perfectly. Matteo enjoyes David beeing part of the band, he likes his presence. And then, to celebrate playing at the festival and finding a sort of new member, Andi had suggested throwing a party to celebrate. Sara and Hans instantly loved the idea and well, there they are. Matteos and Mias school friends slowly arriving, Hans and Andi yet the only ones of their crew.

Matteo catches himself looking over every time the door opens, just to reveal one of his friends. No David. The sun begins to set and people start to drink and dance. There are snack catching competitions. Matteo had snuck out on his balcony - to watch the sunset as he told Sara when he left. He enjoyes the quiet, the feel of summer, the heat of the day still lingering in the streets, the birds still singing and that certain smell. Like flowers and grilling and rain on asphalt and all good summer things mixed together.

"Hey. Sara told me I'd find you out here." Davids smile looks shy. "Hey" Matteo pats on the floor next to him and David immediately sits down. A comfortable silence settling between them. David doesn't ask about why Matteo tries to get away from a party or why he sits alone on the balcony, he simply sits with him and Matteo really enjoys that.

"I like the smell of summer" he tells him after some time, lets him in on his thoughts from earlier. "As a child i always wanted to keep that smell for the winter, i collected some weeds and flowers and ashes from campfires in a small jar and kept it in my room under the bed. It never worked."

David laughs. "I love that idea. This would be a good time to fill such a jar." Davids eyes meet his, and Matteo has to grin. "Yeah it would."

David seems to think before starting to talk again. "A bit like conserving a moment. Imagine beeing able to keep the most beautiful moments in a jar and open it up again whenever you need it."

Matteo nods "A moment like watching the sunset on the balcony for example" he tries to make a joke but his thoughts autocomplete the sentence in his head 'Or the feeling of falling in love'.

They sit together until the sun fully sets, joking about how Matteo hates cleaning up after, and how they both fear the endless smalltalk at parties. It starts getting dark and even a bit cold outside.

When they enter the flat through Matteos room again Jonas shoots him a meaningful look.

David gets pulled away by Sara who probably wants to show him off to her friends and Matteo gets over to the boys - Carlos and Abdi as usual arguing about girls. He doesn't even try to listen to them, just lets himself fall back on the couch. Soon Abdi and Carlos leave for drinks and let him and Jonas alone. "So thats David?" Jonas asks him instantly. Matteo nods and Jonas smiles approvingly. "Handsome guy!"

Matteo looks over to where David is standing with Leonie and Sara. He didn't really notice Davids Outfit earlier but he looks stunning. He wears dark ripped jeans and a black t-shirt and looks just great. "Yeah" He has to agree.

In that Moment David seems to feel the stare in his back and turns around, finding Matteos Eyes and sending him one of his beautiful smiles. "He really is."

Carlos and Abdi return with several bottles of beer shortly after and the rest of the party seems to go by really fast.

At one point Hans pulls him off the couch "You really have to dance more, Butterfly!". Matteo gets pulled on the improvised dance floor and soon finds himself trying to dance next to Andi, who moves uncoordinated. "Hows it goin with David?" He shouts over. Matteo really doesn't feel like talking with a clearly drunk Andi about David. "None of your business. Why is this so important anyway?" he shouts back.
"Because i believe in love at first sight!" Andi exclaimes, waving his arms in the air but Matteo just scoffs "That kinda sounds like your personal problem"

He tries to get away from the dance floor, lets himself lean on a wall and looks at all the people around him. A year ago he would probably have to get away in a moment like this, would hide in his room far away from the noise and the people. But now he feels just fine detaching himself for a moment and watching the scene from outside.

Still Matteo is relieved when everyone agrees to leave for the club. He waits in the bathroom so they don't notice that he won't come along and listenes on the door until the flat goes silent.

On the way to his room he hears some rumbling. Following the noise he ends up in the kitchen where David is trying to clean up some of the bottles standing around. As soon as he enters he stops and looks at him "Hey"
His brown eyes are huge.

"Hey" Matteo finally answeres, after being lost in those eyes for a way too long time. "I thought you had left with the others" David shakes his head slightly. "No - i wanted to stay here. Saw you leaving and i thought i could help you clean up the kitchen."

"Thank you" Matteo remembers telling him how he hated cleaning up, probably he remembered. Or he actually wanted to spend time with Matteo. They clean up a little together and Matteo watches Davids profile from time to time.

He wishes he could touch his face, feel his cheekbones and put his fingers on the little freckles on Davids nose. Run the fingers down his cheek and - Matteos eyes land on Davids lips. They look incredible soft. The corners of Davids mouth, of those beautiful lips raise up. Matteo quickly looks on the ground but its way too late - David must have seen the look in his eyes.

But instead of turning away or laughing David takes a finger and lifts Matteos face up, catches his eyes with his. "You look good today" His words are not very loud but they sound honest. Matteos stomach feels fluttery, his head light. This is unreal. He has to clear his throat before he can speak again. "So I guess Laura is not you're girlfriend?" Matteo feels instantly stupid for asking that question but David just laughs "She's my sister" Matteo thinks it's strange how relieved he feels, his eyes probably watery. And then he just stops thinking, watches how David moves slowly closer - his eyes switching between Matteos eyes and his lips. Matteo starts to move as well and then, finally, he feels something incredible soft touch his lips - just for the fragment of a second before there is a way too loud pang and the door flies open.

Matteo has already jumped a step back when Mia appears, humming before seeing them. "Oh sorry, I just forgot something. Didn't want to scare you."

The moment is gone, and when Matteo turns back around David looks on the ground. They clean up a few more bottles but David soon excuses himself and leaves.

Samstag 1:26

David stares up in the sky while walking, watching the few stars he can see. His parents had taken him to Fiji once, a very long time ago. A place full of music, bonfires, huge friendly smiles and the ocean, lots of unbelievably blue water and white sand. But what had impressed him the most was the nightsky. On the small island they've been to, in the middle of the ocean there was almost no light pollution and when you looked up you could see millions, no billions of stars. Whole galaxies had been visible and someone had shown him the milky way.

The sky in Berlin is nothing compared to that but David still likes the feeling he gets when he looks up to the stars. It remindes him of how small he is, how much there was he doesn't understand and how even smaller his problems must be. It makes things less huge. Everything will fall into place, the stars will stay.

Maybe it was for the best, David could imagine more pleasant places for a first kiss than a messy kitchen. So why did he try to kiss Matteo there? In the kitchen while cleaning up?
It was the look in his eyes, David thought to himself. He had looked at David like he would be the absolute most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And David felt wanted. He had spent the most time of his life thinking he wouldn't ever feel desired. He knew that this wasn't true, he once had told Laura about his fears and she had called it 'absolute bullshit' she had wrapped him in a big hug and told him how great he was and that if someone truly loved him none of this would matter but still, the thought had stayed in the back of his head.

And now he feels like he finally is 'allowed to fall in love'.  Maybe this would work out. David doesn't really want to get his hopes up to much but he could really imagine beeing with Matteo. He likes that he only talks if he has something to say, he likes that he observes and sees things. That he seems to understand David. And, on top of that Matteo is undeniably cute. Well it's not like he could get him out of his head even if he would want to.

David feels a bit bad for leaving so quickly. Maybe he panicked a little - even if he really wanted this. But he would find a better opportunity. And he would kiss Matteo again. He walks a bit faster and the promise to himself puts a smile on his face.

Chapter Text

Three Days Grace - The mountain

Starset - My Demons (Acustic)

Samstag 15:37

Matteo streches his arms over his head, yawns and finally opens his eyes to look at his smartphone. A few messages of Jonas asking why he didn't come along and a text from Sara about when the next band practice is going to be, apart from that - nothing.

Is he imagining what happened yesterday? Yes, he had drunk a bit but definitely not that much. David had leaned in and touched his lips. The moment is still totally clear in his mind. So why did David run off so quickly? Didn't he want to kiss him? Was he maybe drunk himself and that's why he leaned in? And then realised his mistake and left?

Matteo pushes the thought away as he gets up and walks over to the kitchen. Alex Mia and Hans all sit together and eat, even though it really is way too late for breakfast. He thinks about just turning around and going to bed because he isn't in the mood for company but decides he has to eat something so he walks in, instantly getting their attention.

"Butterfly! It's about time you get up. We cleaned the entire flat without your help!" Hans doesn't look mad at all for some reason. Probably he is just happy having Mia around. "Morning" Even Alex smiles a little - weird. "Well afternoon would fit way better" Mia shoves Alex playful in the side. "I'm sorry again Matteo, I don't know if i interrupted something."

Ah - thats what all the smiling is about. "I don't know. And i don't want to talk about it ok?" Matteo looks at Hans who lifts both of his hands up "And no telling Andi or anyone else!" He adds quickly.

They actually let the topic drop and Matteo can eat in peace. When his phone buzzes he looks down way too fast, hopes it's from David. And it is.

David 15:52: Hey, Sorry for running off that quickly. I think yesterday is a day i would put into a jar.

Matteo just has to grin, no matter what the others may see or think.
David liked yesterday. It was no mistake.

Matteo 15:53: No problem, it really was nice yesterday

David 15:53: So Luigi huh?

Matteo 15:54: Jonas calls me that since we were fourteen and discovered Mario Kart

David 15:54: I like that name for you

Matteo 15:54: Thanks i guess

"So who is texting Butterfly?" Matteo looks up just to find all three of them looking at him. And these damned grins have made a return. But it somehow doesn't bother Matteo at all right now. He just laughs. "So Mia, what was it you forgot yesterday?" The looks he gets are priceless.

Dienstag 16:32

It's his third band practice and he isn't nervous at all. David thinks he should be, considering that he is about to see Matteo again for the first time after their almost kiss but he isn't. He is just really looking forward to seeing him.

Matteo had texted him again, some gif about a movie David had told him about. Matteo must have watched it just because of that. The thought makes his stomach flutter a little. The boy really seems to like him. They had discussed the movie thoroughly in text-form and Matteo seemed genuinely impressed when he startet with long explanations about cinematography and lightening and all that stuff. Matteo seemed to have focused on totally different parts of the movie. He had picked up cues to the mental health of the protagonist, had deciffred a lot of the unspoken action, the stuff usually no one noticed. And he even had found a couple of continuity mistakes. David really liked seeing the movie from a new point of view. He liked texting with Matteo in general.

When he enters the practice room Matteo isn't there yet. David unpacks his cello and talks a bit to Sara until he gets there, a bit late. The door flies open and Matteo rushes trough. "Sorry" Matteo stopps apruptly in the middle of the room to stare at him, his mound slightly open before he catches himself again and walks the rest of the way to the stage. "Hi guys" his voice is shy, his eyes avoiding Davids.

How does he think the others won't notice that there is something different if he keeps acting like this? Still, David somehow enjoys the effect he has on Matteo.

The practice goes by really well, Matteo acts strange again a couple of times but the music as always lets all awkwardness vanish. Playing together is just easy, like some sort of new language they all could communicate in. They start making a new song out of melodies they found while jamming, David insists that Sara and Matteo should sing in a duett like they did in his first practice.

While playing David has to close his eyes. This, playing together, is something he would put in a jar too.

Afterwards they sit together and talk for a bit until Sara has to leave. As the others say goodbye Matteo leans over to him as if he has some kind of secret message to deliver "I.. Uh... I would really like some cheesetoast some time again" David just smiles at him, thinks about how cute that boy is.

Freitag 19:27

Matteo is sitting in the living room of the flatshare, the couch and couchtable are pushed to the side, some bowls with snacks in them in the middle of the carpet.

This time it's not a party but Sara had insisted on a "Band and flatshare meet up" to sit together and talk, maybe play boardgames.

Usually Matteo would have liked the idea, talking instead of getting drunk. But today he keeps thinking about how he and David still hadn't really talked about the almost kiss. He hopes it won't be too awkward.

Sara, Leonie, Laura and David arrive at the same Time, the rest is already there. Matteo realises that Laura gets over to Linn and lets herself fall to the ground next to her. And then all he is able to focus on is Davids smile. It's directed at him, he realises after some time. He must be acting like a total fool, the same way like in the band practice. They start playing some stupid board game and Matteo keeps missing his turn because all he can think about is that he really wants to kiss David. He really is a disaster-gay as Sara had pointed out to him once.

Saturday he was really sure that the kiss was not a mistake, and that there was something between him and David but as the week went on he got insecure again. David didn't mention the kiss once and he also hadn't asked to see Matteo again. He didn't even answer to the cheesesandwich thing.

After the boardgame (David wins) they keep on talking, mostly telling Hans Leonie and Laura about their progress in the new song they are writing together. "It's the first time ever Matteo and I sing in a duett!" Sara explains exitedly. "I insisted after hearing how beautiful their voices match together" David adds "You really both have amazing singing voices" Matteo feels his cheeks getting hot. Hans shoots him a knowing look but then joins in in the excitement.

After some while the mood changes, Laura and Linn talk quietly in one side of the room and Sara and Leonie in another, Hans and Andi are in the middle of an discussion about voguing and just David and Matteo are left sitting quietly next to each other. "Do you want to get out of here?" David asks into the tension between them and Matteo is just able to nod.
And then they run. Not instantly, they leave the room quietly and unnoticed but as soon as they leave through the front door they have to run. And to laugh. It feels like some sort of weird spell has been broken and they are free again.

They jump on their bikes and just drive, feeling the warm summernight air in their faces. David turns it in some sort of competition and Matteo has difficultys keeping up with him. I'ts already dark outside, making it hard to see as soon as they leave the familiar tracks and cicle up to some small hill in the middle of the city. Matteo has never noticed it before but David seems to know where they are going. As soon as they are on the top they get off their bikes and walk - until they get to an open field.

David lays down in the grass and Matteo follows him. They look up, the sky dark above them. "It's a secret place" David tells him "I call it the top of the world." Matteo nods - then remembers that David probably can't see that. "Because it's so hidden?" He asks.
"Yes, and also because you can see the city lights from up here. But i prefer the stars" David explains.

"Do you know any constellations?" Matteo aks, even though he never was interested in astronomy. "No. But i like to find new ones. Can you see those four stars over there? Thats the goat." David stays completely serious "These two are the eyes - and that's the beard." Matteo looks closely at the stars and they actually start too look like a goat. A really weird one but definitely a goat. "I can see it." He laughs and David joins.

Matteo starts to look for his own constellation and soon finds something, a swann. It sort of becomes an competition of who can find the most hilarious stuff in the stars. At one point David takes Matteos Hand, the warmth spreading through Matteos entrie Body. They don't talk about it.

Until Matteo turns on his side and faces David. They must have been laying in the grass for an hour by now. "You win" he explains. David grins and also turns to Matteo. "I know" he just states, his voice soft. He watches Davids eyes, only lit by the moonlight. And then it happens, David leans slightly forward and presses his lips on Matteos. Just for a second, more a peck than a kiss but it's unexpected. "I always win"

And it feels good, uncomplicated and simple and just right. And that means that David is really interested and Matteo is not imagining things. And Matteo decides he deserves this, he really does.

So he scoops a bit closer, suddenly feeling secure. He takes his free hand to follow the line of Davids cheekbone and looks in his eyes. They are wide, almost as if he is the nervous one now. And then Matteo pulls Davids face towards him, closes the gap between them and just kisses David - for real this time.

Davids lips are just as soft as he imagined if not even softer. Kissing him feels new, but at the same time like coming home. It's amazing. He deepens the kiss, rolling over on top of David.

He doesn't know how long they have been laying there, in the grass in the middle of the night making out. He must have lost his perception of time completely, but after some time David pulls away. "It's getting cold, we should leave" Oh.

They hurry back to their bikes, the drive is full of laughs and silly smiles until they get to Davids.

They make out the rest of the night, lying in Davids bed. It's the best night in Matteos life.

Chapter Text

Foo Fighters - The sky is a neighbourhood

I Prevail - Every time you leave  -> The song the band is working on

Samstag 13:20

His room feels different. David notices it even before he opens his eyes. Its warmer and fuller and less lonely. Or maybe he just feels that way, with the head of a boy on his chest and his arms around his waist.

He tries not to move too much, to not wake up Matteo but looks down to him. He looks peaceful, his breathing steady, his hair is even more messed up than usual. David decides he likes it that way.

They had kissed and cuddled and kissed even more until the sun had risen again, both of them too tired to move. David doesn't even remember falling asleep anymore.

He still is confused about Matteos sudden confidence, of how he had just pulled David towards him and had kissed him this intensly. It had felt amazing.

The body on top of him starts moving slightly, the breathing changes. He watches Matteo gaining consciousness, stretching and yawning and David can pinpoint the exact Moment when he realises where he is, his eyes open wide, and blink a couple of times in Davids direction.

"Hey" Davids greets him soflty. "Hey" Matteos voice is still full of sleep. Then a grin spreads on Matteos Face and he moves up, closer to David. "Good morning". The grin is just inches from his face by now. And then there is another kiss, a long and sweet one. It tastes a bit like morning breath but David doesn't mind at all.

They stay in bed until the rumbling of their stomachs gets way too loud, and fall back into bed right after breakfast again. Laura seems not to be home luckily.

There are lots of kisses and cuddles, but also small wrestling sessions and Hand holding. 

Every Kiss surprises David again with how good their lips fit together. And how easily Matteos kisses let him forget about his surroundings. 

But mostly there is talking. It feels like he could talk about anything to Matteo. There is just one subject they leave untouched - what they are. But it doesn't feel like they have to talk about it just yet.

Matteo tells him about his parents, and how his Dad left him two years ago, how he feels like he and his mother speek in different languages even if it's both supposed to be german. How he often feels alone, the music the only thing that makes him feel better.

David tells Matteo about his transition, he tells him about how he realised and how he had to tell everyone, he tells Matteo about his parents reaction, about how Laura always had been on his side no matter what. She was the only thing that kept him from feeling lonely. He tells him about his old school, how he was treated back then, how they couldn't handle him not fitting in their stereotypes, in the small boxes they had in mind when categorising people.

He tells him about that urge to run away. 

But he also tells him about his university, about the close friend circle he has found and who accept him without any questions.

He tells him about how he loves being surrounded by people fascinated by the same things as he is. And how he is fulfilling his dreams.

And Matteo tells him about his friendship with Jonas, how they had met in fifth grade and had been best friends ever since. How Jonas had sticked with him trough everything that happend. How Jonas helped him back when he had depressed phases. And how bad he feels about not having that much time for him any more.

"Thats what happenes, Matteo, its not your fault. Jonas won't leave." he tries to make him feel better. Matteo just looking at him with that intense look in his eyes, leaning forward and kissing him. "I like when you say my name." Matteo whispers between kisses. So David whisperes it again, stroking through blonde hair "Matteo, Matteo, Matteo, Teo, Teo" Matteos cheeks get pink and he silences him with another kiss. 

In the afternoon Laura comes home. David can hear her keys in the door and her steps in the hallway. He knows he has to tell her that Matteo is there before she finds out herself, so he gets up, whispering an apology towards Matteo and leaves the room.

Laura is still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. And the stupid grin on her face must resemble his so he decides to use the situation and raises an eyebrow on her. "Were where you?" She looks caught. "I stayed over at Linns" 

Seems like both of the Schreibner Siblings had a great evening yesterday. David chuckles. "Well Matteo is over right now" It causes Laura to raise her Eybrow in return. But they can't stay serious for long and quickly break into laughter. "I'm proud of you little bro" Laura hugs him. 

Later in the evening they all order Pizza together, sitting in Davids and Lauras kitchen. David had instructed her before to not ask any akward questions and it actually is really nice. Laura and Matteo get along well, both of them have the same crooked sort of humour. David could get used to this. 

It's the second morning when David realises that Matteo won't leave on his own. Not that he would want him to - but he really has to get a few things done. And he knows Laura is waiting with tons of questions. Also he hasn't showered in two days. 

He wakes up before Matteo again, but this time Matteo sleeps even longer. David watches him until he can't resist any more to get his sketchbook and draw him. The messy hair is quite difficult to draw but what challenges David most is to get this peacefulness into the drawing. The cute nose and the blonde long eyelashes that almost touch Matteos cheeks. And the lips that look so soft, so kissable.

When he finally likes his drawing he does another one, this time in a more comic like style. It shows him in his vampire self he created back in school with Matteo, also as a vampire laying on his chest. He draws a little sandwich on the nightstand and a jar next to it and writes 'you look cute when you sleep' on top. 

He pulls the page with the drawing on it out of his Scetchbook and puts it in Matteos hand. When he gets up to make breakfast, the boy still in the same position as when David woke up.

He is almost done when he finally hears steps coming towards the kitchen. He turns down the stove as he hears the sleepy voice. "Really? That's so cheesy" Matteos smile tells otherwise. He is leaning against the door frame, holding up Davids drawing.

"Glad you like it" David just chuckles. He walks towards the table and is just about to sit down but Matteo is faster and wraps his arms around Davids back. "Thank you" His voice is barely more than a whisper.

They eat together, but when Matteo suggests going back to bed David has to shake his head "I need to get some stuff done today. And tomorrow there are lectures again" He keeps eye contact, hoping not to sound unwelcoming. "I wish we could stay here but I think it's better if we meet again next week, what do you think?" 

Matteo nods slowly. "Yeah you're right... Sorry" 

"No need to be sorry, I really liked it." David smiles and Matteo joins. "Me too"

After the breakfast Matteo gets his things (mostly just his Phone and the Drawing) and leaves. The moment at the door is a bit awkward, both standing there unsure of what to do until David takes one step forward and just kisses Matteo goodbye. "See you soon" Matteo smiles his cute little crooked smile. "Definetly" 

As soon as the door closes something is different again, as if the warmth had left together with Matteo. He feels kind of lonely. Seems like he got used to having Matteo around way too quickly. 

Montag 13:53

Matteo is humming on his way to the Band practice. He really looks forward to working on that new Song. And to see David. 

Since yesterday he is humming nonstop, much to the confusion of Hans. When he cooked pasta for the entire flatshare yesterday it must have been too much for Hans and he had confronted him about it - Matteo had thought about shrugging it off but he knew he could trust Hans not to tell anyone when he asked him to so he had told him about what happened. Probably not the best idea, since now he got a knowing look everytime he walks around humming. 

Today he is the first in the practice room so he cleans up a little, just rearranging some chairs. Well hopefully they won't be as suspicious as Hans was yesterday. 

Soon Linn arrives, she had some sort of appointment, usually she walks together with Matteo. And while they are unpacking Andi and Sara arrive, David is the last one. But as soon as Matteo spots David in the door frame he sends a grin in his direction, getting one of Davids bright smiles in return. The others don't even notice.

As soon as all the instruments are unpacked they start playing again, first one of their old Songs as a warm up, then they start working on that new Song again.

Soon after joining the Band Matteo had noticed how easy it was to process his personal problems and fears into music. And the better they all got to know each other the more he was able to share and to bring into the song texts. Often it was not on the surface, not directly put into the words but in the underlying feeling of lonlyness he brought into the music. The new song is about beeing left. It's not that Matteo would ever say this out loud but the others must have realised that the lyrics had something to do with Matteos vather.

But today he doesn't feel left alone at all, in the contrary - he can almost feel how close David sits. Singing today comes from a place of happiness. And it's so easy, as if the music is already in him, only waiting to get out.

But the best part about todays practice are the little smiles he gets from time to time. It's the possibility to watch David playing cello, fully lost in the music. And it is knowing that they will meet again this week.

The practice is over way too soon, even though they did a three hour practice today. They all hug goodbye, and when David hugs him he whispers "You really sing beautiful" in Matteos ear. Matteo really really tries to keep his facial expression neutral, but still he feels his cheeks getting hot and his heart beat raising.

On the way home with Linn he can barely concentrate on their conversation.

Donnerstag 15:35

The entire week had been full of lectures and projects and learning, and David had no time at all to process what happened between him and Matteo, let alone to meet him again. But today he finally had some spare hours. He had texted Matteo the time together with a set of coordinates.

Now he is sitting on a Bench in front of the lake. He should have thought that through better, he totally forgot that usually people come here in summer to bathe. He is the only one wearing streetwear. Well and Matteo who walks towards him. "Hey, Na?" He smiles "Was I supposed to bring swimwear?" David quickly shakes his head, maybe a bit too quickly. "No! I hoped we coule find a place to sit somewhere more secluded." 

Matteo nods "Oh right" then smiles at him "Then let's go". He reaches out a Hand. David lets himself be pulled up but then quickly lets go of Matteos Hand. There are way too many people around, he feels a bit uncomfortable. 

They walk around the lake, David really wishes he could take a swim right now. The water looks peaceful. On the other side of the lake there is a small forest, or more like a large group of Trees. They sit down close to the water and watch the people on the other side of the small lake swimming and enjoying the water. 

He tells Matteo about his week, about the new project he is working on and about his friends. Matteo lets his head fall in Davids shoulder while he is talking.

He likes this, just sitting here watching the water, Matteo next to him.

They talk a bit more, Matteo tells him about his childhood and how he used to spend his holidays in Italy. When David asks if he speaks some italian he nodds. "Can you say something?" Matteo thinks for a second, then talks something that sounds like gibberish to David. Well hot gibberish at least. He laughs "So what exactly does that mean?" Matteo shakes his head "I won't tell you"

Now David really is curious, he looks into Matteos eyes. "Tell me!" Matteo sighs, looking a bit uncomfortable, his cheeks redden slightly "I said I met someone I really like." he mumbles towards the floor. Oh.

David never had been told that someone liked him before. At least not the way Matteo probably means. In the years everyone else spent meeting people and hooking up he was busy figuring himself out, dealing with dysphoria and not knowing what it was. Afterwards he was busy with making steps towards transitioning. And the last two years he somehow hadn't let anyone get too close to him, still uncomfortable about some aspects about himself. So this is new. He has no idea what to say. 

Matteo must have realised that David is uncomfortable and quickly begins to talk about something else, tells funny stories of his friends. David just nods from time to time, not able to fully concentrate on what Matteo is talking. 

After some time it gets better though, they joke together, and let their feet hang into the water.

David likes how easy it is being around Matteo, who has no problem in shoving or mocking him. At one point he takes Davids Hand and just shoves it into his face, giggling.

But then Matteo leans forward to kiss him, and for some reason he doesn't get David feels uncomfortable again. He feels like there are eyes burning in his back even though no one watches them. So he moves back a bit "Sorry, just... Not here okay?" 

Matteo pulls back and nods "Okay. Do you want to go to the flatshare then?" he asks, but David shakes his head again. "I still have a lot of things to do. But soon, okay?". And Matteo nodds again, slightly disappointed but still smiling "Okay. I'm looking forward to that."

David feels a bit bad, so when they say goodbye he hugs Matteo really tightly, who lets himself just sink into David. "I'm sorry" he whisperes. Matteo just smiles "Don't be, see you soon"

On the way home he has to think about how he has to ruin every chance of a relationship because he is afraid. Afraid of people getting too close to run away without them. Afraid of people judging him. But he really wants to make it right this time.

Chapter Text

Beatsteaks - I do

Motionless in white - Voices

Sonntag 14:21

Matteo misses David. He doesn't feel like he has a right to miss him but he does. David had barely texted after their date? Hangout? Whatever it was on thursday, and Matteo really misses that. And beeing around David in general, cuddling him, kissing him, laughing with him. 

He talked to Hans about it yesterday, about how distanced David had been on thursday, and that he barely texted since then. Hans gave him the same advice he already had known - that it was alright for David to still feel uncomfortable, to need time to come to terms with what happens. And that if he really liked Matteo there was nothing to worry about. 

And Matteo has that feeling that David really likes him. 

He is just in the process of cooking some pasta a la Luigi when David finally texts. 

David 14:21 Hey, sorry for not texting for so long. Are you home? 

Matteo 14:23 Hey, that's alright. Yeah I'm home, why?

David 14:23 Can I come over?

Matteo 14:23 Of course

David 14:23 Be there in 5

Matteo can't help but grin. Looks like he was right. And even better, he will see David again. He should probably hurry. 

He quickly looks after the pasta before checking in the bathroom mirror if he looks presentable. Well, at least it's not worse than usual - his shirt is clean and he took a shower this morning. 

Matteo decides that's enough. 

Just as the pasta is done the doorbell rings. Matteo feels nervous, standing in the doorway and waiting. For a second he thinks maybe David will tell him that this all was a bad idea, and that he didn't want to be with Matteo, but he quickly pushes that tought away. 

"Hi" David looks shy too. "Hi" Matteo greets back. He doesn't want to make the first move to kiss him so he keeps just standing there, frozen, waiting for David to do something. "So, ehm, is there anyone home? Of the flatshare I mean." David just akwardly shifts from one foot to another. "Just Hans - I told him. I hope thats okay, but he won't tell anyone." 

David nodds and then, finally, takes a step forward and gives Matteo a small kiss on the lips. Matteo really wants to grab him and kiss him for real, but it's not the right thing to do right now, so he just smiles at David. "I just made some Pasta... So if you want some?" Davids dimmed smile turns back to full brightness and he nodds quickly. 

They sit at the table together and eat, it almost feels like some sort of romantic date to Matteo. David starts speaking, his mouth still full of pasta "Thish ish great!" he swallows "Is that some kind of special recipe?" Matteo nods proudly "Thats my famous pasta a la Luigi!" David has to laugh at that. "I love it"

When they both have enough (and cleaned the kitchen, a bit at least) they go into Matteos room. As soon as Matteo closes the door he has Davids arms around him, holding him close. "I missed you". Matteo nods "Me too" he murmurs. "Sorry for not texting, I.. I think I had to process a bit." David loosens his grip and sits down on Matteos Bed, Matteo follows him.

This kind of seems like an important conversation, Davids eyes are serious. He takes a second before he starts talking. 

"You now, I've never been in a relationship before. Not even close to. And it scares me, I'm used to closing off. But I want to be with you. Because I really like you too." He pauses "Only if you want that of course!" 

Matteo almost laughes "Of course I want to!" He smiles bright "Also I haven't had a real relationship too. I'm pretty sure Sara doesn't count."

Davids face softens a little bit "Just, is it okay for you if we wouldn't tell people yet? I... I want this just for us right now." 

Matteo takes Davids face in both of his hands "Of course." He places a little kiss on Davids nose. "We'll just figure this out together." David smiles, the tension slowly fading away. "Okay"

Matteo is happy. Like really really happy. David likes him too. At least he said so. And he wants to be with him. He hugs David again and pulls him on the bed. David smells really good, he notices.

After a while of cuddling they lie on the Bed, both looking at the ceiling. "So Laura knows, Hans knows - someone else?" David asks.

"I told Jonas. Had to talk to someone and he is my best friend. And I had to tell Hans, he was getting suspicious." Matteo thinks about it for a second "But that's it."

David nodds "I mean I can totally understand if you want to tell your friends" he sounds a bit lost.

"Not yet. I'll tell them once I introduce you to them."

Davids face looks almost relieved. Looks like Matteo isn't the only one worrying way too much. "Don't worry. We have all the time in the world."

Davids smile really is beautiful.

Montag 15:14

The words begin to blend into each other the longer David stares at the page. He loves studying film, he even enjoys film theory but some days it's just too much. Today is one of these days.

The sides of his notes are filled with small doodles, as always, and he can't really stop himself from adding to them. That's not helping at all.

With a sigh he gets up from his table and walks into the kitchen where Laura is sitting in front of her laptop. "Hey" He sits down in next to her. She looks up from the screen with a little smile. "Hey. All good?"

David nodds at first but the decides to shake his head instead. "No, I really have to learn for that Exam but I can't concentrate at all."

Laura pushes her laptop to the side. "Know that feel." She smiles. "Maybe it's because you're distracted? How is it going with Matteo?" David shakes his head again. "It's not about him, I think I'm just tired." He really is tired, the last nights there were way too many things on his mind, and the heatwave at the moment didn't really help. 

"But to answer your question I think it's going well. I talked to him yesterday, about that I'm still insecure and he was really nice about it." He thinks about Matteos smile, how happy and comfortable he looked. They spent the rest of the Day cuddeling and talking. Later they played some videogame together. It was just sitting on Matteos bed and looking into Matteos laptop but it had something homely to it.

Laura smiles "That sounds great! I knew you two would sort that out." David had told her about his strange feelings on Thursday.

"And how are things between you and Linn?" He asks in return. The question instantly causes Laura to giggle. "Good I think. We met again in an amusement park on Saturday. We haven't really talked about if we are together now but we held hands the entire time. And I think it was a real date you know?" 

Her eyes look dreamy - she really must like this girl. "And we already have planned a new date tomorrow, we are going to get dinner together!" David is really happy about Laura finding someone. She really had annoyed him with her talk about wanting a girlfriend. 

"I think that means you are dating, dinner is pretty serious." He nodds as if he would be an expert, even though he just sorted out something similar a day ago.

Laura smiles. "I really hope so. I think I'm gonna ask her soon."

"Nice - good luck with that!" David smiles back. In that moment his Phone vibrates in his pocket and he quickly takes it out to look at it. Matteo gad texted again as soon as he was out of the door on Saturday, continuing their conversation from earlier.

Matteo 15:28: I miss you

David 15:29: Already? We saw each other yesterday?

Matteo 15:29: I knoow :(

David 15:29: I'm trying to learn but I somehow can't concentrate

Matteo 15:30: Do you want to meet? :D

David 15:30: I'd love to - but is that really a good idea?

Matteo 15:30 Yes it is! I can come over if you want

"So let me take a wild guess - is it Matteo who is texting right now?" Lauras voice pulls him into reality again. "Why?" He asks. "Have you seen your face? You are beaming!"

"Oh" He did not notice his smile earlier. 

"Do we still have ice-cream?" he asks in a try to change the subject, but then gives in."I think Matteo might come over." Laura grins "We have - My guessing game is on point as aways." It's not unusual for her to point out her 'win'. The siblings always had been competetive, and since their early childhood it became a constant game between them to point out every small victory over each other.

David just smiles and types a message to Matteo

David 15:33: We have ice-cream so that might actually be an idea

Matteo 15:33: Nice - I'll hurry ;)

David 15:33: Looking forward to see you!

Donnerstag 16:01

Something about Linn is different. Matteo can't exactly pinpoint what it is. Matteo knows he wouldn't even notice a new haircut but there just is something about her. Maybe its how light her steps are today, how she barely seems to touch the ground. Maybe it is how often she smiles while talking. 

She has been talking since they left the flatshare, something else that's unusual about her. They are on the way to the band practice, the first one since Matteo and David are officially inofficially dating. Or something like that. Matteo has no idea how they will able to keep that from the other band members.

This time they are the last ones, the others already unpacking their instruments. Matteos eyes instantly search for David when he enters the room. 

And there he is and smiles his beautiful smile towards Matteo. Matteo starts to grin but then remembers they had to be careful for now. He tries to make the same unimpressed face as usual when he hugs Sara and Andi, and just hopes no one will notice him closing his eyes and pulling David close when they hug. They met the last time on monday - way too long ago, and Matteo really feels like kissing him now. 

He manages to let go and to unpack his guitar as if nothing had happened. When David walks past him he slightly brushes him with his arm. Matteo is sure he does that on purpose. Maybe just to make it harder for him than it already is. 

The song they write together is almost finished by now, Matteo really likes how it turned out. And while singing it isn't that hard to not look over to David who smiles every time their eyes lock. 

They take a small break in between and Matteo goes to the toilet while the others keep discussing new changes. When he leaves the cabin David stands in front of it, smiling as always. "Hey - I missed you" Before he can even answer he already is pulled in a close hug, Davids hands around him in a different way than earlier. "Hey" he answers, his voice muffled in Davids shirt. 

And then, finally, he gets the kiss he wished for the entire practice. David takes his face in both of his hands and kisses him soft. Almost too soft, so Matteo decides to heat things up a little and to bite slightly on Davids lip. The sound that escapes Davids throat indicates that this is unexpected. David responds immediately, deepens the kiss and shoves Matteo back in the cabin, pressing him to the door from inside. What started with an innocent kiss is now a heavy make out session. Matteo can feel how his entire body tingles. 

Without a warning the bathroom door flies open and they can hear Andi entering the bathroom. Both of the boys freeze in the middle if their movement. Matteo tries to keep his breathing inaudible - what is really hard if you desperately need air. 

Andi walks past them and enters the cabin next to them. Oh no.

They both slowly get out of their position, still trying to make no sound. Matteo catches Davids eyes. His cheeks are slightly pink and his lips red. It looks wonderful on him. Matteo begins to smile what turns out as a really bad desicion - David starts to giggle inaudible. And Matteo realises how hilarious the absurd situation they are in right now is and can't help but join. 

The more he laughs the funnier it gets and as soon as Andi finally leaves the bathroom they break out in loud laughter. 

When they are able to breath properly again David nods towards the door "Guess we should go back if we don't want them to notice". Matteo can't help but feel his grin come back "I think I should go first - you still look like you've done something inappropriate" 

Davids face does not look half as upset as it's probably meant to so Matteo just laughs, gives him a tiny kiss on the nose and leaves him standing in the cabin. 

For some reason, Matteo really doesn't get why, no one seems to notice.

No one even bats an eye on how long Matteo has been to the bathroom or on why David comes back shortly after him - his cheeks still a little red. They don't even notice the glances that go back and forth between the both of them as soon as the practice continues.

Chapter Text

Highly suspect - little one

Bring me the Horizon - Mantra

Samstag 15:52

"Do you believe in fate?" The question comes out of the blue - David even thought Matteo had fallen asleep laying in the grass next to him. 

"No, not really. I don't know" David answeres, his eyes still on the blue sky. "I used to hate the idea, not beeing able to decide for myself." He thinks for a moment, remembering how proud he always was about choosing for himself. Choosing to be who he is. Choosing Laura and his godmother over his parents. Choosing which school he wants to go to. Choosing what to study. 

"But I think I'm not scared of the idea anymore, I mean in the end everything has fallen into place, even if it took work to make it that way. Would be boring if it wouldn't take work."

Matteo laughs at that. "I always believed in it. That my mum was supposed to be that way. And that my dad had no choice but to leave me." His face turns towards David "But I don't know any more either, maybe it just doesn't matter anymore." 

Matteos face turns back to the sky, David can see how he looses himself in thoughts again. 

They had been laying there, in the exact same spot for a while now. Matteo was the one sending him coordinates this time, leading him to a small park close to the flatshare. 

There were almost no people in the park, despite the heat so they were holding hands. 

David shouldn't be that uncomfortable with showing affection in public, he thinks. He don't even knows why this happens. Maybe it is because he already experienced people not accepting him. But he shouldn't let these assholes from his past decide who he is now.

And he really enjoyes beeing with Matteo so far. Matteo never pushes him to do anything, always lets him talk. Also there are loads of cuddles and kisses. 

And there had been something else at the last band practice, a new component - heat. Not like the summery heat in the sun but something else that hasn't been there before.

David thinks he shouldn't be surprised, they are two teenage boys. Or young adults, he corrects his mind. Thats something thats just usual at their age. But until now soft cuddles and kisses had been enough. They had made out, but that had felt exiting and new, fulfilling. Not something that left him breathless and wishing for more. 

His thoughts get interrupted when Matteo begins to cuddle closer, his head on Davids shoulder and his leg between Davids. On the questioning look Matteo answers "Missed you". David grins putting his arms around the boy laying half on top of him. He missed him too. 

For some reason he feels complete when Matteo is with him - like there was always a part missing from him, he just never noticed until he met Matteo. And now he feels that missing part everytime he is without Matteo, knowing what it feels like to be whole. 

"I don't think I'm scared anymore" David observes. Matteo nodds "That's good because you shouldn't be. I mean you've got me." Davids eyebrow shoots up. "So what does that mean?" 

Matteo is quiet for a long time before he begins to speak again. "You don't need to be scared about anything. Because I'm there and I won't leave. Because... Because I love you." 

David isn't sure he heard correctly. Love? Of course he knew Matteo liked him. That he was attracted to him. But somehow it still is a surprise to David that someone could love him. "What?" Is all he is able to get out as a response. 

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know." Matteos voice is careful, quiet. "No - just - what did you just say?" Matteo laughs a quiet laugh. "You really want me to say it again?" He sights when David nodds to that. "I said that I won't leave." He looks somewhere in the grass, then up to the sky, avoiding eye contact. "Because I love you" he still looks up to the sky, then finally in Davids eyes. 

Davids head still has no chance in processing that information. Then, finally, the spell lifts and he can move again, pulling Matteo upwards into a warm kiss. He wants to do this forever. Still, he moves away a tiny bit, just enough to whisper against Matteos lips. "I love you too."

And Matteo smiles - a beautiful honest smile and kisses him again. This is perfect. David doesn't worry at all about the people walking by. 

Samstag 20:30

"David, Butterfly, come out!" Hans demands from the other side of the door. Matteo groans and hides his face in Davids shirt, who begins to stroke through his hair. They had promised Hans a movie night together but Matteo just wants to stay here, in Davids arms, laying on the bed. Maybe he could just stay here forever. Matteos bed with David in it feels like his natural habitat. 

"Matteo Florenzi! If you don't come out I will... I will... Eat all the snacks alone!" shouts the voice through the door. David snickers but Matteo just groans again. "Don't need any snacks, I already have one in here" he mumbles in Davids shirt, not really sure if he can actually understand his words until he feels Davids laugh. Davids Hand wanders to his cheek. "We should really go out there".

Matteo sighs, and finally lifts his head up. At least he can now see Davids eyes. It still surprises him every time how beautiful they are. He gets his face closer to Davids and lets it just fall into it - cheek against cheek. "You sure?" he mumbles towards Davids ear. "Yes! Come on."

Hans is really surprised when they actually make it out of the door (after another kissing break when Matteo finally got out of the bed) and leads them into the living room "It's so nice that my butterfly finally found someone!" Matteo rolls his eyes behind Hans back and mouths is words without a sound what causes David to snicker. "What is funny about that?" Hans turns around and eyes them suspiciously. David quickly shakes his head "Nothing - It's great actually. Ehm - I'm happy I found someone too." he explains. Matteo has to smile at him 

"Aww you two are so cute! Make yourself at home, I'll get the snacks!" Hans vanishes towards the kitchen and the two boys grin at each other. 

"Honestly, I'm really happy I found you" David whispers towards him. Matteos stomach flutters again and he can't help but lean forward to kiss David's unbelievably soft lips, his Hand on Davids neck. 

Of course Hans enters the room again in that exact moment, catching them mid-kiss. "Nanana! It's movie time! You can make out afterwards all you want!" Hans shakes his head while placing big bowls on the couch table.

The movie is boring. Well probably it isn't even that boring, just not as interesting as David is. Matteo is leaning in his arms again, feeling the steady breathing at his back. He plays with Davids fingers, lifting one after another until David leans forward, his mouth right at Matteos ear. "All good?" he whispers with that tiny bit of his warm voice in it that makes Matteo tingly. 

He shakes his head slightly. "I would just prefer to do something with you alone." he mumbles back. David laughs soundless. Matteo looks at where Hans is sitting, on the floor in front of the couch, he seems to be absorbed in the movie. Good, he thinks to himself and lets his head fall from Davids chest to on his stomach and pulls him down towards him "Kiss me!" he commands. David smiles at him, also glances over to Hans and then finally leans down and kisses him, long and sweet, and way too soft. 

It's so slow that Matteo feels like loosing his mind. He clings to Davids shirt, in a try to move them even closer together, then reaches for Davids head, deepens the kiss. It's still slow but now there is something else in it, breathing gets harder. 

David pulls away slightly, breathing against Matteos lips. Matteo tries to pull him down again but he shakes his head slightly "just a second". He rests their forheads together and Matteo remembers that David is probably in a very uncomfortable position, sitting while leaning down. So he moves away and signals David to lay down on the couch. 

This is way better he thinks, laying on top of David is incredibly comfortable. He moves up again, longing for another kiss but David shakes his head again. "If we keep doing that I don't think I'll be able to watch the movie at all." he whispers. 

Matteo grins "That's because you shouldn't watch the movie!" He presses his lips on Davids again, putting his Hand in Davids hair. The kiss gets heated way faster than the first one, Davids arms pull Matteos waist closer. When the kiss fastens David pulls away again. He catches his breath for a second before whispering again, really close to Matteos ear. "I mean if you keep doing that to me I really can't guarantee anything." Davids voice sounds different, even when he whispers and Matteo feels hot all over. How is he supposed to concentrate on the movie now? 

Still he moves away. "Okay" he whispers. Then a sideways glace again. "Can't wait for the movie to be over" he whispers leaning slightly towards David again, just enough that he can hear him. Davids eyes get wide. 

Matteo is pretty sure he isn't the only one who really can't concentrate on the movie now.

Freitag 17:20

Davids week has been really rough, it was the final week of the Semester and he had to write several Exams. There was almost no chance to see Matteo, David had tried to learn at the flatshare once but Matteo had just distracted him with tiny kisses on his back until he gave up. 

Now finally all of the Exams are over and David really feels like celebrating. He has long two months free time until the start of the third semester in october and he really is looking forward to spend that time with Matteo and the band. Matteo had even suggested they go on a road trip sometime in those two months. 

He is just on the way of picking up Matteo for the little celebration Laura hat organised - just an evening at the bar with Linn and Matteo, nothing big. David is really looking forward to that. He had even dressed up a little, maybe to impress Matteo. 

He walks up the last set of stairs to see Matteo already waiting for in in the doorframe - a huge grin on his face. He is also dressed up a little, at least his shirt looks unfamiliar to David. He greets him with a long kiss, still standing in the doorframe. 

"Hello David" Linns calm voice comes from behind Matteo. Oh right - he also wanted to pick up Linn, Laura will meet them at the Bar. 

"Eh Hi" He quickly answeres, still unsure if he should be uncomfortable with her finding them kissing at the doorstep - especially since they hadn't told the band yet. Well Linn probably knows because of Laura he thinks. And because they are going to a double date tonight. So he shakes the thought away and hugs Linn. 

It's not uncomfortable at all, on the walk there they talk about band stuff, as usual (the band had to meet without david this week) And as soon as they find Laura on a high table in the bar Linn forgets about their presence anyway. Instead she hurries over and hugs Laura close. 

David chuckles and looks over to Matteo. He hasn't told him yet about Laura and Linn - but seems like he found out himself. He grins over at David. 

Soon after they all sit down and order Cocktails, Laura proudly announces that she'll invite them for the evening to celebrate the End of David's semester. David has to help Matteo to pick out something as the boy usually just drinks beer, so they choose two drinks both of them might like and share them. 

"So - since when are you both.. A thing?" Matteo asks Laura and Linn, who are probably even worse than Matteo and David. David can see them holding hands under the table and they grin like teenage girls in love. "Officially a week" Linn says, her eyes still on Laura. "But unofficially... I think pretty much the same as you guys." Laura finishes her sentence. David tries really hard not to roll his eyes, and hopes deeply that him and Matteo are not as cheesy as his sister and her new girlfriend. "Wait what?" Linn asks - and finally looks over to them just to look suspiciously at Matteo. "How long has this been going? And why didn't you tell us?" 

David giggles "After the meetup in the Flatshare, the one were you two endet up in Linns room we both... Well went to our flat instead." he fills her in and Matteo adds "And we didn't tell you for the same reason you probably didn't tell us - we wanted it for us first." 

Linn nodds at that. "Will you tell the band soon?" she asks Matteo who just passes the question on to David with his eyes. "What about next week?" He asks and she nodds "Please don't tell them before that." He adds but Linn shakes her head "Of course not!" she looks at Laura again "What if we organise something after the next practice and you'll come too? We can probably really shock them by telling them at the same time!" She smiles over at Laura who grins back instantly "I like that idea." 

In that moment the cocktails arrive at their table and the conversation changes. They all try carefully and discuss the flavours, and then try the drinks of the others too. Especially Matteo keeps drinking both of Davids and his drinks - unnoticed as David begins to tell how his exams went. The evening is quite fun, Linn tells them about her search for a Hobby last year (Matteo has quite a few funny stories to contribute) and Laura tells them about her work. 

After some time though it's mostly Matteo and Linn telling embarrassing stories about each other and David and Laura telling childhood memories. It's surprisingly easy, all four of them talking like they've known each other for a long time. Probably double dates are not as bad as David thought. 

They drink a second round and a third until they decide to leave to Davids and Lauras flat together. 

It's then, on the way home David realises that Matteo is a bit drunk. Not too much - he probably has a really high tolerance (at least higher that Lauras who has been giggling since the first Cocktail, or Linn who almost falls asleep in Lauras arms, muttering something that sounds like 'Gin Linn') but definitely a bit. 

Otherwise David really can't explain why he keeps looking at David with dreamy eyes. "You're the best thing ever" Half-drunk Matteo whisperes in his ear right now. David just smiles and holds him close "You too" 

Chapter Text

Royal Blood - Out of the black

Palisades - Erase the Pain

Sonntag 16:30

Andis timing is fantastic. He comes up with it just when David is out of the door to get Laura and they sit together with Sara and Linn like in old times. "You know what I totally forgot?" He asks, but continues before anyone has the chance to answer. "Projekt Davenzi!" He shouts out and Matteo needs a second until he remembers what that was supposed to mean. 

"True - we completely forgot about that!" Sara joins in. "We completely abandoned our mission!" 

Matteo tries not to laugh out loud - he doesn't want to tell them without David so he just shrugs, Linn next to him luckily stays quiet too. 

"We should really do something about it" Andi starts again. "Maybe if we organise something later, at the meeting. We could get David drunk and then-" Luckily in this moment Laura and David come through the door and Andi stops talking. "You don't need to organise something anymore." Matteo is finally able to say. David grins. 

Andi looks really confused now- looking back and forth between David and Matteo, so Matteo decides to makes things clear for him, jumps up and kisses David as a greeting. Davids lips are soft as always so he keeps kissing him a bit longer than planned, and when he pulls back Andis and Saras eyes are huge. 

Laura and Linn both are grinning at each other while Andi still tries to make sense of what he just saw. "So wait - you didn't need any help at all?" he asks and Matteo shakes his head. And just to use this moment of confusion he adds. "We all needed no help but thanks." with a grin towards Linn. 

Laura gets the clue faster and pulls Linn towards her and gives her a small peck on the lips. 

Andi shakes his head, still in confusion. "So we fulfilled our mission without even trying? And even Linn found someone on her own?" Sara laughs and in exact that moment Leonie comes trough the door. "I can't believe this. Wait - so I'm the only single band member now?" he asks in horror when Sara gets up to walk towards Leonie. "At least I'm getting all the groupies once we are famous!" he tries but only earns laughter. 

Getting Ice-cream this time is quite different from the last time, now he can freely hold Davids hand while walking and he can look into his beautiful eyes whenever he wants, without it beeing weird. They sit on the same Grass patch as eight weeks ago, but now it's three couples instead of one. And it's not getting to know each other.

Andy asks questions over questions, wants to know every detail on how they first kissed and how they got together, Matteo feels like in an interrogation. But Davids hand in his own calms him and he tells Andy everything. Well almost everything. 

Once he is finished Andi pulls him in a hug. "I'm so proud of you little one!" he grins - Matteo feels like Andi is a second Hans, if he would start calling him Butterfly instead of little one he probably wouldn't be able to tell the two apart. 

Andi just turns around and starts to interrogate Linn. Matteo listens with a smile and lets his Head fall back in Davids lap who instantly starts stroking trough his hair. He feels at home. 

Montag 19:52

As soon as Matteo gets of his bike he starts pressing his lips on Davids, like he's been waiting to do that for the entire drive. They had been to the lake again, this time with proper swimwear. David usually didn't go swimming often, he feels like the odd one out if he wears his neoprene shirt. But today he felt good. And once he felt comfortable he realised that no one looked at him in an odd way, no one even realised, it always had been his imagination. Matteo who was next to him the entire time made him feel more confident and this time David was fine with holding hands and stolen kisses. 

Towards the end of the day though the people got less and the kisses more - and maybe it was the fun they had today in the water or the minimal clothing (David is not entirely sure) but suddenly they couldn't get home quickly enough.

And even now, after the drive home the kiss gets heated really fast - Matteos body pressing up against his, David can feel his still wet shorts against his and Davids hand is in still slightly damp hair. He pulls Matteo trough the entrance of the building just to press him against the wall once they are inside. 

After that movie night last week, the one were David had been sure that something would happen once they closed the door to Matteos room behind them, Matteo had been asleep at the end of the movie. His arms somewhere in his face and his cute hair all over the place he was lying there and David didn't want to wake him up. Instead he had talked with Hans who told him about the origin of Matteos nickname - Butterfly. Hans had given it to him once he realised that Matteo was not the unimpressive caterpillar he seems to be, but instead building a cocoon and changing into a more proud and open version of himself - a butterfly. 

The next week had been full of learning for the upcoming exams and now that they finally have enough time for each other it's no surprise that the heat is back again. 

David breaks the kiss, tries to catch his breath and then tries to pull Matteo up the stairs. Once they are in front of the door Matteo pulls him into a kiss again. Luckily Laura is sleeping at the flatshare, maybe she knew that the boys might need some privacy tonight.

David finally wins the struggle to keep Matteo long enough from kissing him to get into the flat. They kick off their shoes and a secomd later lips are on lips again, David pulling Matteo towards his room. 

Matteos shirt is on the floor pretty fast and Davids follows - he is still wearing the neoprene shirt underneath. Mid kiss Matteo begins to stiffen and pulls away. He looks in Davids eyes for some time until his breathing gets steadier again. "I'm nervous." he whispers even though no one could hear him. "Me too" David whispers back. He has never been naked around anyone - but he feels safe with Matteo - knows that if he wants to do this with anyone it is Matteo. He slowly strokes with his fingers over Matteos cheek as a reassuring gesture and Matteo smiles. 

When Matteo leans forward again his kisses are way slower and softer, still full of passion but also full of trust. They slowly start to undress each other further and in Matteos eyes there is no shock when he seems him, just love. "You look beautiful" he whisperes and if Davids cheeks wouldn't already be red he knows he would blush at that. 

David often heard that the first time should be awful, that it is akward and strange but it isn't at all with Matteo. Instead it's beautiful. Its slow and tender and full of love, and when David falls asleep this night there is a content smile on his face. 

Freitag 15:09

Matteo isn't entirely sure if he is holding David's Hand as a support for David or to steady his own nerves as they walk towards the park. Not that he thinks his friends wouldn't like David - Matteo is entirely sure everyone just loves David - but more that they haven't seen Matteo with anyone since they told them he was gay and just forgot. Or that David realises how dumb his friends are - and in conclusion how dumb Matteo is. (Matteo sometimes imagines their conversations as if they pass a single braincell between them - and most of the time it's not were it's supposed to be)

He can see them from far, they sit together on a picnic blanket and Jonas has his guitar on his lap, playing a soft melody. As soon as they get closer Carlos begins, right after waving them, to stare at their hands in confusion. Probably Matteo should have told them more than that he brings 'someone', his hopes that they would get that hint were obviously not fulfilled. 

They greet each other with their usual Brofist-handshake mix, and as soon as they sit down Carlos blurts out "So you two are a couple?"

Matteo laughs quietly but then nodds "Yes we are - this is David." Carlos and Abdi eye him carefully and then start to introduce themselves.

Matteo watches Davids reaction closely - he already told him some stories about his friends and David now sees the faces to these stories. 

But of course they have to embarrass him - Abdi looks at David in a way that tells Matteo he is about to ask something unbelievable dumb. "So you are gay too?" Yep - Matteo is really good in reading is friends. 

David just looks confused for a second "No actually I'm pan - that means-" "I know what it means" Carlos interrupts him proudly "Kiki told me" 

Matteo can't help but to roll his eyes at that, but Abdi takes it even further "So that means you could have had anyone? And you chose Matteo?" David nodds. 

"Woah" Carlos looks at Matteo in confusion - Matteo knows he probably just wants to annoy him but Abdi begins to laugh "Whats so funny about this?" David asks confused "Yeah and also you guys are my friends! You should be on my side!?" Matteo tries to keep them from making fun of him. 

"It's just so cool to be pan - i wish i could just choose anyone" Carlos says dreamingly. "And what about Kiki?" Jonas asks, he has been surprisingly quiet so far. "Forget about her - you would choose me, right?" Abdi grins at Carlos - he probably still isn't over their conversation a year ago when Matteo admitted that he would choose Jonas of the three of them. Surprisingly Carlos begins to grin back at Abdi "Of course bro!" Wtf? What is happening now? Matteo sends a confused look over to David who is trying to hold back a laugh. 

"Cool bro" Abdi is still grinning - they end that weird conversation with a bro-fist and carry on as if nothing had ever happened. 

Jonas tells them about his new projects and quickly he and David get caught up in some sort of political discussion - Matteo just knew that they would get along great. 

The only bad thing is that he has only Abdi and Carlos left to talk to and they are currently discussing Carlos renovations of Carlos and Kikis flat. The flat was in a horrible state a year ago, and it had needed a lot of time and work but now Carlos finally finished his work. He is so proud about it that he begins to tell the same stories several times - Matteo is pretty sure that he heard the story Carlos is telling at the moment - how he build their own walk-in-closet for Kiki - at least three times now.

So Matteo just decides to let his head drop in Davids lap, looks in the sky and listens to his friends talking. David fits in as if he was always part of their group. His fingers draw little circles on Matteos arms while he is talking, and when Matteo looks up he is greeted with a beautiful smile. It should stay like this forever Matteo thinks when he closes his eyes. 

Chapter Text

I Prevail - Breaking down

Highly Suspect - My name is human

Samstag 10:36

Matteos head is laying on Davids shoulder, his arm around his stomach. Their legs are entangled, not really possible to see which leg belongs to who. David loves lazy days like this, just laying on the bed the entire day and doing absolutely nothing besides cuddeling and talking. 

They had talked about a lot of stuff, about aliens and parallel universes and now are talking about Matteos theory again, the one if they had helped each other if they had met earlier in life.

David doesn't really know why Matteo is so obsessed with the idea - yes they both were in a dark place in about the same time and only met now that they had both overcome their struggels and grown as a person but what does it change? 

"We would have met in the school corridor instead of on a concert" Matteo decides and David has to laugh at that. Matteo looks incredible cute from that angle.

"And we would have ended up in some sort of Abi-komitee instead of in the same Band" David joins. 

"Yeah, but probably just because someone would have forced me there." Matteo sounds serious now. "-And we would had a joint instead of ice-cream. Probably in a school cellar or something, that's way more Matteo style."

David can totally imagine them standing there, he would totally do something as stupid as smoking with some hot guy even though he usually didn't smoke. 

"And I wouldn't have had the courage to ask you on a date so we would have met randomly, like in the Bus or something like that." he adds. 

Matteo laughs. "Maybe you would have to save me because i never had a Ticket." He thinks shortly, then adds "Well and we wouldn't have talked about something so serious of course. More like about Zelda. But the sandwiches have to stay."

David nodds "I would have just left probably. I got scared in that time when something seemed to get too serious." He adds on a more serious note.

Matteo joins in that "I probably would have hidden in my room on that party, having some sort of breakdown."

David tries to lift the mood again. "But the almost Kiss would have stayed the same"

Matteo grins again "Yeah"

"I would probably be ignoring you after, being insecure again"

"But we would still end up at some meetup together and run away" 

"I would have led you to an abandoned building, i loved those at the time."

"And we would have kissed" Matteo grins, as if the story would end there. "Do you think everything would be good after that?" David asks. 

"Yeah why not?" Matteos question sounds innocent but David shakes his head. "I would have been afraid to tell you about me. So I would have just run instead." He rememers how often he just had taken the train to Fürstenberg in that time instead of facing his problems. 

Matteo looks at him in a concerned way "But you would have come back. At least when you realised that you missed me way too much." David laughs. "So how would you have reacted? About that I'm trans I mean." 

Matteo stares at the ceiling for a couple of seconds before answering. "I was still insecure about my sexuality back then. And I also knew like nothing about anything, Hans teached me a lot. I would have needed time to process. But I would have come back to you, because in the end even stupid one-year-ago me would have realised that you are the best thing that ever happened to him." David feels his smile reach his cheeks. He cuddles closer to Matteo, holding him close. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me too." he whispers in Matteos ear. 

They stay like this for a while, cuddled close together, just happy to be with each other. Until David realises that they stopped talking - he still feels like there is something missing. 

"So in the end it doesn't really matter how we meet you know?" David concludes "It's just important that we do meet." Matteo turns his head to smile at him. "Thats true" 

And they kiss for a very long time.