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UNSOLVED Omens

Summary:

The ineffible husbands teleportation to Disney takes a wrong turn and they end up on the top floor of a lighthouse with two paranormal investigators.

Notes:

Late night idea turned One-shot! My brain does some real weird drafting when I'm half asleep.

Hydrate and Enjoy!

Work Text:

As busy as their life wasn't, they needed a vacation.
It had been a while now since anything exciting truly happened within the demon and angels life's, sure the Armageddon only happened a few years ago but that was like a month in occult/ethereal years, you can't keep celestial beings on a chain (especially in the uk) and not expect them to get antsy.
They've taken a few trips since then, separately however, and never planned. Sometimes old friends would call, sometimes an item or a figure would pop up somewhere across the world that they just couldn't ignore and would pop over to say a little 'hello!' And hopefully get a souviner, this was how Aziraphale had received the big book of Occult Tendencies book 3 (original copy, never released, colorised, with blood!) And how Crowley had returned with quite the 'replica' of Audrey II from his favorite show, by beating a small town Georgia man in a fiddle off... yes a fiddle off, Crowley doesn't even know how to play the fiddle! That may of been why he was so out of breath when he popped into A.Z Fell and Co with a 300 pound puppet on his back.
But despite all of these trips they hadn't even considered taken a holiday away from London together. Until today that was.

They're scrunched on Aziraphale's couch together, enjoying the silence of each other as Crowley scrolls through his cellular phone while Aziraphale flips through his new book when Crowley suddenly bolts up right, a GASP of excitment practically disintegrating the silence that was incasing the room. "Angel, look." He pushes his phone into the book bookshop owners face, smooshing it to his nose.
"Too close, dear boy!"
"Ah- sorry."
Aziraphale looms into the screen and reads the advertisment displaying on the screen "Disney World, Crowley?"
"Disney World, Aziraphale!" He practically shouts "On fourth of July too! Wouldn't that be great?"
"What are you getting at?" The angel raises a brow.
The demon lowers his phone onto the table next to them and takes Aziraphale's ringed hand kisses the knuckles gently, just to make sure he has the angels one-hundred percent attention (which of course he did, he knew that, he also just liked to tease) "You've never been off this continent, love. I've been waiting for an excuse to take you... and I think this, this!" He taps the still lit advertisement "is my excuse."
The angel's face falls to a hard flush as Crowley's scene of endeerment plays infront of him, it takes no time for the Angel to contemplate Crowley's offer, wonder, and then accidentally gaze into his large pleading eyes and give in to the demons temptation.
Because he would never say 'no' to Crowley.

------

St. Augustine Lighthouse, Florida

"Now see this, this is fucking hell-"
"It's a ciggrate but, Ryan. What's so scary about a cigarette but-"
"Did you not just listen to me??? The owner who lived-died here has been seen smoking and watching over the place- this-this doesn't spook you in the slightest?"
"No, not really."

Paranormal investigations are not new to the Ghoul Boys, dark, dank homes full of a vast terrifying history that has trapped the souls of (hopefully) innocent enough ghosts who would like nothing more than to leave and not have to see another damn Investigator for as long as they liv-. However, in the taller of twos opinion, dark, dank homes are only homed to the vast opportunity to catch pneumonia, and sure... that wouldn't be as bad as what he was here tonight for, if he was completely honest.

The spirit box swept through radio channels giving the occasional Hiccup of a sound, to which Ryan responded with a cold-shiver and a muttered 'holy shit' every now and then.
"Can you tell us your name?" Asked one
"Hia, not a really big believer of you guys so if you could just, uh... give me a big ol' cigar burn, we could go home quicker and leave you alone all the faster!" Added the other.

The room went quite suddenly, the spirit box dying all the too suddenly for the smaller of the two.
"Hmph, thought you charged it..." he flicked the box with his finger.
"Jesus, shut the fuck up, Shane." Shivered Ryan.

"Well this isn't the right place," said a distant voice and once more Ryan jumped.
"What was that??"
"We are right next to the street-"
"Shush!"

"Where are we, Crowley?"
"I'm hoping Flordia..."

"This way!" Hissed Ryan who took his counterpart by the arm and practically ran.

If this was going to be the one, he wasn't going to miss it. If these where full apparitions speaking to one another then who was he kidding?? He could through in his own towel along with Shane's, they'd catch it on tape and maybe something can finally be solved on this god-forsaken show.

"How can you mistake Disneyland for a muggy lighthouse?"
"Disneyworld, love- and I dunno!" He tapped his phone with long nails.
"Well this wouldn't of happened if we just baught plane tickets like we originally planned,"
"Ughhh, this again? I told you they where sold out! I'm not going out of my way to hunt down a pair of tickets to Flordia from Britain on EBay if we have a perfectly good and FREE way of getting there by ourselves." He argued
"Now... let's just find the way out of here- OOF!"
Suddenly the demon was on the floor, an ache in the butt erupting, besides the one that was standing over him at the moment.

"Ryan!"
"Oh shit, sorry- we didn't know anyone was in here-"
Shane raised a knowing eyebrow, as to say 'sure we didn't, we definitely didn't have security run this place over twice before filming' to which Ryan's scowl simply implied 'I'd rather not fight with two handsomely dressed homeless men with brief cases, as I don't know what's inside of them and also, I'm exhausted due to the ghost hauntings and DON'T really want the authorities being called.'
"Oh that's quite all right, dears." Aziraphale picked the now dusty serpent off the ground "we where just on out way out." he dusted the now pouty serpent off.

Suddenly, before they reached the door however, Crowley spotted the cameras on the two mens chests. He perked immediately "You two film students?" He asked, helping Aziraphale carry the luggage.
"Wah? Oh, no, heh... it's for out Youtube show actually-" Ryan whispered over to Shane "they have Youtube in the UK right?"
"I think?? I think they just call it, 'telly' though..."
"Right."
The demon... pierced his lips together, trying to lug the bag down the stairs, the angel already making hast "so what's the show about?"
"Ah- crime investigations and sometimes ghost hauntings, Shane's a skeptic while i am a firm beleiver-" he said proudly.
"Did a few demon houses as well! Ryan had Holy Water,"
"It was important! I'm not going to enter a demon possessed property without it!"
Good point thought the demon who tripped on a few of the metal stairs, refusing the help of the two strangers.
"Anyway, we stick to the Unsolved stuff. Hence the name,"
"Buzzfeed Unsolved!" They said in unison.
"Neat," replied Crowley, finally catching up to the Angel "Well I'll have to watch it sometime," he snapped his fingers "les'go, Angel, Bentley's waiting." They turned to leave but Crowley hesitated and turned back to the two investigators. "Nice talking to you two-" he snapped him fingers "You two should also keep an eye out on your cameras, think they over-heated, can't have a show without cameras."
They where confused until they begun to smell a tender burning straight under their noses, the go-pros strapped to their chests engulfed in flames. Quickly they through them off and patted the small flames off of their shirts, looking up just in time to see the stranger placing the last of the luggage in a 1930s Bentey.
"Ciao!" He proceeded to speed off.

"I like him..." said Shane after the long silence that engulfed them as they watched the car disappear into the night...